Tidal Shift
by silentdovesong
Summary: Change, it was his only constant and it was his bane.  Elrond has to cope with the changes that the appearance of one complicated woman in his life brings.  Raina is everything his wife wasn't, complete with unusual talents and quirks that make getting to know the woman even to help her nearly impossible at first, and more importantly what is the cost of doing so?
1. Prologue

Prologue

"You're insane, like certifiable little-round-room coo-coo for the cocoa puffs crazy." Destiny's voice carried down the dock in response to my new boat. "Can you even steer that thing?"

"Duh," I answered giving my younger sister a side look, "I wouldn't have bought it if I couldn't."

"Seriously, I mean what're you going to do live on it?" Nikki chimed in and felt their incredulous and increasing fear over what I was about to embark on.

"As a matter of fact, that's kind of my plan." I answered, climbing aboard in order to help them over the side and onto the deck with me.

"Certifiable, but brilliant." Nikki's assertion of her twin's assessment of my well-being confirmed her agreement, "Raina, what did this cost you?!"

"It was a couple of months out of Council allotment for expenses converted to American dollars," I shrugged slightly in response to her stunned expression, "Living with you two and your families for the last few years let me save up and this is my present to me. To you I give the gift of true freedom to explore who you are." I answered looking around the respectably sized cabin with a sense of pleasure I hadn't felt in a long time.

"You're like dead serious about this, living on the boat thing." Nikki's astonishment was clear, as was her evident and increasing concern.

"As serious as I have ever been." I agreed as they began exploring my boat. Deep down I knew the gamble, no matter what planet you were on the ocean was not the most predictable and as dangerous as a witch with her cycle.

Destiny whistled lowly, "Wow talk about a home away from home. So did you at least manage to figure out how you're going to eat? To keep in touch?"

"I have my phone," I pointed out reasonably, "the radio, and my laptop. The boat has the juice to support itself even in rainy seasons."

Nikki shook her head, a smile on her lips, "I just hope you don't decide to play Noah's ark and sail on this thing across the ocean, Sis."

"Is there something wrong with wanting to see the world the way humans did centuries ago, even if on a smaller scale?"

Destiny smiled at me, "The only thing wrong with doing that is that if you get out of range with any of your equipment."

"Well I'm not planning on going anywhere hazardous during their storm seasons and since I don't like freezing my ass off I am not going way north or way south."

The twins nodded in unison but Nikki answered as we headed topside to take in the breeze, "Well At least, if nothing else, you will not feel so cramped up anymore."

"That was the idea," I agreed watching them carefully, I could feel their trepidation, their fear, and both were understandable. As their sister and surrogate parent they felt as fretful as I did about leaving them even for a short set of trips. However, if I did not push them to, they would never let go and I would continue to feel growing resentment, "It's not forever and I will keep up with everyone."

"Yeah, that's what Mom said too."

I heard the hurt in Nikki's voice and reached over to flick her golden ponytail. "Nothing is forever, little sister it is making the most of the time you have that matters."


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

It was official I was in the most one-sided and unaffectionate love-affair of my life, I was in absolute love with the ocean and she wasn't as fond of me as my boat was. I had thought of literally everything, the solar panels worked flawlessly, and at the moment the ocean was as peaceful as I had ever known the cool sea to be. I had seen numerous marine life, and I had taken to photographing them cataloging my journey and sending the mini-albums of what I had seen to Nikki and Destiny.

I had been travelling the seas for months already, emailing my sisters periodically and I was nearing the one-year mark of my adventure when I stopped one bright afternoon to read my emails and if I was fortunate and one of the twins wasn't busy I would try this Skype thing that they had told me about and insisted I install on my laptop so they could see and talk to me and vice versa.

_I miss you,_ I read on the screen as the beginning to Nikki's most recent email reply to my last album, _And I'm jealous you are having so much fun while we're cooped up trying to polish off our master's programs. I am beginning to worry your trips are going too well…_

"Worrywart," I murmured as the sun streamed into the cabin area warming me,

_Nikki, _

_You worry far too much, and about things that you cannot control, its bad for your health trust me I know. Everything has gone according to what I had anticipated, though seeing that pod of whales three days back was a treat I couldn't pass up even at my most ambitious or however I might wish to catch you guys. I hope the pictures came out good. I'll be stopping in another day at a harbor I promise I'll call then. Raina._

I sent the email and went as I did every time I checked my email and several times a day despite the fact the boat was on an auto-course to the next harbor that I expected to reach in about another day's travel when I stopped short reading my dials and scanners. My ocean currents were good, the speed was holding at a steady four knots, and the part that would have stopped a seasoned sailor's heart was the fact that my little boat was well on its way to the heart of what promised to be a wicked, cruel storm. I had at most two hours to either divert away and miss the storm or merely get sideswiped and I had to hurry even as I heard my cell phone ringing in my pocket and regretted that I had to let it go to my voice mail because I didn't dare take my hands off of the controls as the minutes ticked by the sun vanished behind the clouds and the sea began rolling with an angry vengeance.

Within the hour I was swaying with the violent waves and being tossed about wildly as the waves threw me almost away from the radio I was trying to send a mayday to any ship that could possibly have gotten to me in time, knowing that if I could get towed to a bigger ship with more power I could get away from the storm and at least wouldn't be alone. To no such luck, I heard the first wild wave – somewhere around ten foot – crash over my ship and to its credit the design was perfect the water rolled off it in wide sheets – but followed in short order by a second, larger wave and then a third when I heard the first boards cracking and sent out a last-ditch frantic mayday when I seized my phone and sent out a hurried text to Nikki that I was in a storm and that I would call her as soon as I could in response to her call earlier. It wasn't my first storm but this one for some reason felt different, the air was charged I realized as I tried to work with the waves rather than against them only now they were coming in two directions and the ship wanted to go a third and was now splintering.

"No!"I screamed despite the senselessness of it as the wave that I couldn't begin to guess the size and strength of took aim at my battered boat and the ice-cold churn of the water sweeping me in one direction and the boat in another was the last thing I would see, or remember was that of flying through the air with such force that hitting the icy water knocked me unconscious, perhaps as a blessing all its own.


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Two figures rode along the borders of the lands, one the Master of the lands and the second was enjoying the crisp air and the hospitality of their less-renowned kinsman, who was perhaps more important than they were but for an entirely different reason. Cirdan the Shipwright was the Master of the Ships that sailed to and from the Undying lands and a request for visitors who were not likely to be stepping onto his ships was not likely to be ignored by the invitee.

"Ah it is good to see you again, my young friend." The tall, wiry seaman greeted his friend as he dismounted from the horse and breathed deeply, "I know how it pains you to come here when it is not your turn."

"I have much to do and many more things to see to before I can think to join Celebrian." The voice was grave, and tinged with sadness.

"And you have much yet to learn," the other countered with a chuckle, "Really, my friend your children are grown, and they have thrived despite or perhaps because of their mother's absence."

"And you did not call me to you to discuss what has been for now a long count of years." The other answered wearily as they continued on foot.

"Of course not, why would I cause pain to the ones who matter?" the other chided reaching out to place a hand on the shoulder gently. "I merely wanted to see an old friend's child for a time and then allow him to return to the life he built and a wonder it is, there is so seldom an unkind word for the haven you built, young one."

The other being shifted his weight and folded his hands behind his back as they strolled down the beach, "I saw the storm last night, and the way the waves battered the shore I cannot help but worry for the ones whom you sent ahead my friend."

"They arrived as they wished," the other answered smiling knowing when to let a topic drop with the younger being, "They are at peace, and by now I would estimate already standing upon the white shores guided through the night by the Light of Earendil as so many before them have."

"I want to go," the second admitted with a sigh, "And that badly enough that I would almost risk forsaking all that I have seen, the good and the bad…." He stopped speaking as the beach with its rocky surface the further from the Grey Havens one walked was littered by the obvious wreckage of a ship, one that had if his unskilled eye had been made and made well.

"Go," the other spoke gently looking to the younger, darker being, "Perhaps there will be a survivor for you to tend to." Both knew the chances were slim to nearly none, but the second would not rest without being sure.

Picking his way through the debris the being tucked a stubborn lock of black hair over his shoulder to begin moving ruined wood and grunted once trying to move a piece that had clearly been part of a house or house-like part of the ship in fact as almost the same instant his friend was lifting up the piece with him and drew in a sharp gasp at the sight underneath.

Under the ruined piece and nestled among the wreckage was a small figure, not much bigger than a human child, bloody, bruised and completely unconscious, face down in the sand that alone was nearly enough for the slightly built men to hurl the wreckage in temper. The Sea, uniquely cruel and loving at the same time had obviously been cruel to this ship-woman.

"Gently, gently," Cirdan said automatically, and entirely unnecessarily as his companion removed his travelling cloak and spread it out to roll the figure sharp eyes blinking at the generous streaks of snow-white in the matted silk of fire, and hissed with the sharp jolt of pain that ripped up his hand through his shoulder when his hand gently clasped – hers – he was guessing by the build and only just managed to roll the shape into the cloak frowning at the wide gash along her temple that oozed blood still as he reached, more cautiously this time to put the thick cloak between his skin and hers.

"Seems you have a guest most unexpected." He said simply managing easily the slight weight – maybe a bale and a half of hay – and winced at the low whine of discomfort, "I'll need my things."

"You have anything at my disposal you know that." Cirdan said thoughtfully, watching his friend carefully the pose was protective, of course any female injured bothered his friend, and this one seemed little bigger than a child, yet was white in places of her hair….

A scream pierced the air that I didn't recognize as my own voice as I could hear steps running down what sounded like a hallway, and the door opened as I realized that I could barely see, and a figure that appeared to be in a shade of deep brown came in speaking softly, calmingly.

"It is all right, you are safe, calm down." There were hands reaching for mine and in a split second of protective gesture shoved my hand under the blanket shaking all over knowing only too well what would happen if there was contact.

"Where the hells am I?" I managed to put outrage in my voice despite the fact my throat was on fire, and muscles that I had forgotten I had screamed forcing me to swallow in order to stifle the want to do the same.

"You are in the Grey Havens, the last vestige of the elves," a voice I recognized but couldn't identify as I curled up on myself as best as my body would permit me to. "You are safe both from the Sea which spat you out and from whatever plagues you."

I trembled looking around quite sure that this was a wicked hallucination or a cruel and angry prank from my sisters and looked for the rip that would tell me and since I couldn't find one I decided on a quick second to play along, "Yeah, shows what you know. Now that we have a where, who the hells are you?" I demanded wiping the tears away angrily blinking as the roar in my head dulled to a quiet snarl.

"Rather forthright for such a small thing," he observed selecting a chair near the bed so that he could sit and I guessed tried to even the field – he was tall it seemed to me, definitely taller than Jason or Tommy for sure. "My name is Elrond, called at times Half-Elven." He answered folding his hands on his lap as I blinked.

_Yeah and I'm Dorothy of Oz_ I thought as I glared at him, "Not funny lying to me like that. Now what's your name?" I repeated my question and I realized in a split second that I had projected – loudly the fact I thought he was full of bull, "Look, I might be from a city once but even in a city shit stinks so cut the bull."

What struck me first was the pure shock he felt at being called a liar, I presumed as he frowned and then the deeper one as I this time projected my irritation and his gesture was so much like the same one I did when stressed, his hand rubbed at his face then grabbed the bridge of his nose with a deep breath, "First, and most important you're alive. Second, I have not nor will I ever tell someone a lie, especially about my name when anyone who crosses my path knows who I am and will correct me faster than you can lose your patience." He replied as we both came to realization for the first time in probably as many years what sort of people we were dealing with.

I drew in a deep breath, "Okay, even though I still think you're full of bullshit I'm going to say for the sake of the fact my head is going to explode if I stress it too far about now I will play along with you and your little game. Mine happens to be Raina." I directed my words at him, "And I want to know how in hell I got from being trapped in a wicked beast of a storm to here, even if here is a whole lot better and drier."

"Drier is certainly a good place to begin," he agreed cautiously as we both seemed to take a moment to study the other, "And you were in pretty rough shape when my companion and I happened across the wreckage of what I assume would be your ship."

_Shit Nikki's going to have kittens and puppies galore when she realizes that I can't be reached._ I thought nodding, "The last thing I remember is realizing just how screwed I was by this storm," I swallowed as the panic of those last seconds threatened to suck me down into it, "And the wave that tore apart the ship and threw me backward was huge – I'd never seen water rise that high before, and I guess I blacked out either right after or just before slamming into the water again."

"That explains the upset when you awoke, I wasn't sure even my hands could pull you out of the halls of the dead," he answered calmly though any idiot could see it was a strain.

At that moment my stomach decided right now was a fabulous time to remind me just how alive I was by growling loudly and despite myself and every bit of manners that had been hammered into my head I started giggling then into a full fit of near-hysterical laughter though I noticed that it was an effort for this "Elrond" to not fall into the trap as I slowly calmed again, "Well I guess that proves I'm not dead however like my version of heaven this could be considered."

"A meal can easily be arranged, though I would bet almost a bath to soak in would be as welcome." He answered as I realized that would mean finding my way out of the bed without planting my nose in the floor. "I am sure that I can get you out of the bed."

"Not without touching me you can't." I answered seriously, "Look, much as I think you're a liar still I don't want you or anyone else getting hurt and no I can't explain why it happens, it has since I was little." I said defensively glaring at the beginning of his protest, "Bath and food sounds pretty spectacular and if you can't help get out." I pointed at the door to hear the discreet cough and realized that instead of the anger I was expecting there was a vague amusement which took me by surprise.

"Your concern is admirable but unnecessary, now I agree the bath and the food will do wonders for your overall mood, if not that temper." He shook his head holding out his hand, "And if you can get up on your own I won't pester you with offering aid when you don't ask of it, but this time as a healer I have to insist."

"It's your funeral." I answered sighing; I knew checkmate when I heard it and this was definitely checkmate other than the fact that I already knew the outcome of this but if he insisted….

I didn't understand the words he hissed through clenched teeth as I stood up barely resting my hand on his though I had to grit my teeth to keep from screaming as I grabbed hold of the table trembling as the last of the jolt of near-electric shock faded though that didn't help my already flagging energy reserve.

"I will want to discuss that," he said recovering before I did and I glanced backward with my eyes swimming still with tears, "And maybe find a way around that particularly nasty trait."

"Good luck with that," I answered managing to get to my upright position and looked at myself holding the bit of cloth that was the remnants of my shirt to be at least half decent. "And you can be more helpful by finding me something a little more covering than this I look like a shipwreck walking."

"Little one you _are_ a walking shipwreck," he said not quite suppressing the chuckle, "But it is good to see that your sense of humor wasn't damaged in the rap you took to the head."

"No, that usually works just not always the way others want it to." I answered tartly, "Now quit your dithering and direct me to the bathing room, preferably with ah what's it called? Privy?" I asked hesitantly.

"Come on then," he said gesturing me out the door and for a minute I was forced to lean a hand on the wall, this was too elaborate to be a hallucination death-dream even for my screwed up head I realized and looked at him my eyes wide.

"Um, I am gonna apologize for being really rude earlier, I thought this was some sort of screwed up prank from some of the people my sisters know." I said cautiously as he guided me toward a room where a female dressed in a long gown – there wasn't another word for it she as pale as he was dark and the smile was faint.

"Mi'lord Cirdan asks for you I will attend his guest if you wish." She spoke in halting common so that I could understand and he nodded slightly and answered her in a tongue I didn't understand but I could guess by the fluidity of what it was likely to be – one of the fey tongues.

["I will do so, just be careful she's as edgy as a feral cat and as wild. Do not touch her unless it is dire.]

I saw the female's confused look and despite it she nodded and gestured for me to precede her into the room and was for the second time shocked. It wasn't an opulent room necessarily but it was definitely the most elaborate setting of a bath as I began peeling off the ruined clothing and examined the carnage that the storm had done to my body and shook my head at the ones I could see and more at the one I could feel before sinking gratefully into the water almost too hot to be real with a grateful sigh, as a movement behind me caught my attention.

"You have all the time you wish it will take the servants a bit of time to find something that will not drown you." There was a sense of amusement in her tone that had me narrowing my eyes, "It is not every day a grown adult comes to us the size of a half-grown child."

"Yeah I'm just short what's it to you?" I replied bitingly though the heat of the water was relaxing the same muscles that had protested me moving just a few minutes before.

"To me, nothing particularly I am merely to keep you company and guide you around where you desire to go, and in this case await the clothing I am sure will come soon." She answered mildly, almost too mildly.

"Don't get mad easy do you?" I said thoughtfully more to myself, "Wish I didn't but if wishes were horses we'd all be drowning in horse shit."

"No sense in becoming angry with someone I am betting is as mad, and scared as you would be – anyone would be if it seems everything you knew went upside down." She answered sitting down as I began scrubbing the layers of sea salt and sand and general icky stuff off my skin before debating how to do the same to my hair when I found a cup sitting near my shoulder, "I think I can manage to rinse the soap out of your hair if you want, and we can see what color is actually under all that mess," she said chuckling to my surprise as she pulled a shred of wilted seaweed out of my hair.

_Ew ew gross! Yep going to take her up on it and pray it doesn't kill us both._ "Just be careful not to touch my skin, your ah friend found out the hard way what can happen."

"I don't plan to," she answered dumping the first cup of water over my head to drench the rest of it as I waited then went to lather the soap – a softly scented one I noticed that reminded me vaguely of some flower I didn't know the name of - and after a few moments found myself with clean hair, and a clean body yet I wasn't about to climb out of the water without clothing.

A soft knock at the door had the woman on her feet and I could hear the exchange of the same language again and she smiled and showed me the pile of folded clothing, "things have a way of working out, even if not always the way we think they should, come I will help you dress then bring you to where a meal is sure to be waiting."

I was surprised yet again by these strange people – their generosity seemed to know no bounds and it was kind of a good thing since I had somewhere lost my wallet so I couldn't pay them anything if I wanted to and the material was a rich, heavy one that was the color of emeralds as I pulled it on and the small slippers that were nestled atop the pile I looked at the woman, "I hate to be a pest do you have a comb or a brush anything I can do something with this?" I said shoving a strand of hair out of my face with a sigh.

Ten minutes later I looked more-or-less presentable and my guide led me through the winding paths of this strange place and I stopped short realizing that this was a more secluded area, open to the sea-air and the individual I recognized as "Elrond" was sitting across the table from a similarly built man with a long beard and they each had a glass nearby and both sets of eyes were on me as the two of us approach.

"I find it strange you were handed your head by a slip of a girl," the first spoke in a surprisingly soft baritone, "Really old friend you are losing your touch."

"Or my mind," I heard the bemused reply, "Either way your guest approaches."

"Excellent , I was hoping I would have the opportunity to speak with her before I have to return to my work." He said rising to his feet and I felt immediately somewhere around the size of a child standing near to the other and cocking my head to the side looked up at him.

"You'd be this Cirdan everyone mentions like you're in charge." I said guessing as I heard the quiet cough strangled by the movement of the glass to lips from the one settled at the table.

"Please, be seated and yes Cirdan I am," he answered tang his seat as I did; "I trust my assistants and my other guests have been pleasant to you?"

"They've been pleasant enough, I'm pretty sure that I harassed at least one of them enough," I glanced at Elrond who waved it off.

"If that's the least you do I'll be surprised," he said smiling at Cirdan wearily, "As I was telling you she wasn't convinced I was being honest earlier when I gave my name."

"Well it's been a rather difficult day, and while I know it extends your visit longer than you had been planning to, but I will have to ask you, for me old friend for you to stay here while my guest is recovering, I haven't a healer whose skill even comes close to yours."

Elrond's fingers skimmed the glass thoughtfully as he nodded reluctantly – any idiot could see and feel that sheesh, "I am sure I can extend my visit a bit longer, at least until I am sure that she will be well, and from there decide to head toward home, Glorfindel and the others can handle the running of Imladris awhile longer, this is an extenuating circumstance."

"Good, good" I heard the pleasure in the bearded – elf?'s voice and once my stomach was sated enough to stop demanding that the majority of my attention was on the bowl I looked between the two.

"Flattering as I am sure your people find this sort of third person decision making, this is nuts and I am not overly pleased by two grown adults making up my mind when other than the occasional rip of ache in it my own works pretty good."

"I am merely concerned for your health," the one answered smiling a bit as he eyed Elrond with a look that was one part sympathy, "And the want to have someone who can communicate with and on your behalf, I noticed that you did not understand what we were saying to each other when you came in."

_Okay grandpa you got me there but did you have to stick me with him? That's about the last thing I need._ I thought and hid my thoughts behind a scowl of irritation, "I'm sure I could get by without it, aren't there human settlements somewhere?"

"Sure to the very far north, and they're a rather rustic group and the far – as in more than half a year's journey south there are two and I wouldn't suggest either of late." Elrond answered evenly, "One's led by a mad man and the other I fear is falling prey to another."

_Well shit._ I thought stirring the stew with the tip of the spoon,_ yippee means I'm stuck with a babysitter. Granted I suppose it could be worse, but did it HAVE to be someone who can throw my own emotions back at me?_ "All right, I get the point; I'm stuck and pretty much screwed, not in any kind of pleasant fashion. Yippee."


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

More, too I had been asked in a way that wasn't quite an asking to return with Elrond to an equally secluded place, his foundling city and I regretted that I missed the first glimpses of the city because I had fallen asleep to my chagrin, but it had been a long couple of days and I would not be able to enjoy the view of the descent into the city due to that. However that was not a bad thing, and would eventually be remedied I was sure.

While I couldn't say that the next few weeks were entirely bad – I had learned that in fact somehow my life had been dumped upside down, not for the first or the last time in my life but this certainly seemed to be pretty permanent and I was having to go with the flow, since as smart as I learned the elves were, even they could not find a reason I would be dumped into their world, and I was growing more concerned that my sisters – I knew I had at least two of them – would give up on me.

On a more annoying note, I was beginning to like spending time with Elrond – who wasn't as cocky as I had thought at first, and it was definitely a boon to be around someone who wasn't intimidated or easily flustered by my incidental and often accidental flares of emotions, which if they were negative or overly positive spread like wildfire across those around me. Oops is all I gotta say there. Sheesh you'd think after a few hundred years I'd have a firm hold on my center and not blow people out of the water so much but no die there.

I had gotten comfortable enough that I even began letting him try to break the twisted 'gift' my father had given me – that of abhorring and fearing the touch of others, which obviously extended to other races still, even ones that were as historically known for being as different from my blood-kin as I was.

"You're absolutely sure you want to follow through with our discussion?" he asked sitting in a chair that was beside mine in what was his study, his face was filled with concern even if this whole thing had been his brain-child.

"Want to, not really but I am getting real tired of having people get hurt trying to help me – of not being able to really play with my niece and nephew or gods forbid comfort one of my sisters." I said feeling the anxiety rise up from the pit of my stomach, "And it makes letting people close pretty damn hard."

"Even so, I am not just going to try desensitizing you to this," he said calmly keeping his hands firmly on the arm of his chair his body language relaxed though I could hear and feel the worry in his tone. "Which is probably going to dig into parts of you that you don't want to go into but I fear you must."

"Yeah well the bigger picture is I want someday to get to have a normal relationship." I said firmly, "Someday and face it I'm not getting any younger."

"Your honesty is something that consistently throws me for a loop whenever you throw a gem like that out there," he answered easily again watching me and my reaction closely, "Why is that I wonder, is it your doing intentionally to throw a person off-guard or are you just that blunt?"

"Both prolly," I answered easily as I looked to him again frowning slightly, "by keeping people on guard they don't get too close which also lets me not have to worry if they're going to try to touch me."

"Which brings me to an interesting point," he said easily, "Who are you really protecting, yourself or the other person?"

"Both, though I think it would be the other person more cause I know how bad it hurts me, and since my ah what's it you called it? Empathy gone haywire? Reverberates everything I feel on anyone around me I can only guess how much worse it is for the other person so I would prefer to not have to be the source of anyone's pain."

"Where did it start?" he asked taking advantage of the fact that for once I was relaxed and calm at the same time.

"I was a child, I don't really remember why or how again because I was little when it began," I answered defensively,

"When what began?" he prompted gently, the grey eyes were locked on mine making me uncomfortable about discussing the matter.

"My father wasn't the nicest guy in the world, isn't since I'm sure that he's still alive somewhere," I drew a breath and shivered, "I – I can't quite talk about all what he did but it sure didn't limit to just verbal abuse, at least that's what my sister told me what he did was called partly."

"Would you say the root of this fear of touch that expresses itself in such a violently protective way?"

"Absolutely," I said uncomfortably, "My mother was as good as she could be when he was just about as bad to her as he was me, only she could defend herself more than I could." I curled up on the chair defensively, "I learned how to read his mood, when to vanish somewhere, or make myself real scarce," I bit my lip and eyed him feeling the guilt and the shame crawl up my spine as well the feeling of bile sliding up my throat and by the stricken look to his face I realized he was getting a crash course in my feelings on the subject which only had my eyes burn more for it as his hand reached to place on the arm of my chair as close to my hand as he could without touching it, "There's not a whole lot he didn't do," I whispered not able to bring my voice to a normal level as I felt my chest constrict with pain.

I saw the flash of anger and deep-seated insult in his face and I shrank back a split second before the softer expression and the feeling I had flow around me as firmly as I could flare out my reactions he could project his calmer emotions was one of very compassionate calmth and something that was dangerously close to caring. "I'm not going to push you on that, young lady." I heard the gentle tone as his hand reached as if to touch and at my flinch pulled away gently again and my wavering vision was filled with the quiet, compassionate expression, as well I felt the near-physical need to comfort and I found myself wonder why even if I couldn't express my wondering yet.

"I couldn't say it anyway," I felt the first of the tears drip past my lashes as I swallowed hardly trying to keep some semblance of control over my emotions. "But I can remember being maybe a decade old before I was afraid of him, and more than terrified of what other people would to me if they touched me – if they would use a gentle hand or if they'd lash out at me like he did – does." I swallowed again flinching despite myself as his hand reached I knew from previous conversations for my shoulder, about the closest to an embrace I could handle and I still flinched.

"You don't have to say anything," he said softly and I could hear the wish and the understanding in his tone, "Enough for a day, before you drain yourself too much and end up in a total collapse. You need to take a warm bath, and go to bed." He said firmly pushing me gently toward the door to his study, "if you need something you only need to ask."

I knew that and I went to my rooms – a suite in fact with a bath in the rooms which was a luxury for which in times like right now I needed and before an hour passed I was face down in the bed soundly asleep.


	5. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

I had taken to avoiding Elrond – as much as I had come to be used to his company, I was not ready to go back into the dealing with my past, no matter how much I wanted to be able to contend with people in a normal way I was not at all telling that form – with the compassionate grey eyes and the soothing voice the things that had me awake at night when I couldn't push back the memories flood.

This blew up in my face one fall morning when I woke up with hands wrapped around my wrists and in the dream it was my father and one of his more depraved acts and when I opened my eyes I didn't see the elf trying to restrain me without both of us getting hurt with little success but I saw my father trying to complete the act I had been dreaming which only increased my panic and fear.

"Wake up little one, wake!" I heard the insistence as my body was gently, but quite firmly shaken trying to break away my mind from the hellish dream I had been having not aware that I had been screaming in my sleep. I squirmed as one hand of his grabbed my wrists ignoring I knew too well the ricochet of pain that he received in return for the doing and the second arm wrapped around my back as I tried to break the grip.

Which I might add was about as likely as me ever breaking the five foot marker in height. He might have been primarily a scholar I had learned, but he was a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield as his strength was more than twice my own. "Let me go!" I tried to scream but my voice was a hoarse whimper as I tried to break the hold.

"No," I heard the hiss as I tried to untangle myself from the blanket and his grip at the same time and got nowhere fast on either one. "At this second neither of us are in excruciating pain and I'm not letting go." He answered as the words cut through the sleeping fog and I looked up shocked realizing that his hand had both my wrists pinned between us and his cool hand was touching both in fact which only frightened me a bit more to the point I was tearing up again only to find the second hand had wrapped into my damp hair comfortingly as for the first time in I didn't know how long the dam broke and I shook with emotion suppressed and denied to the point I was physically ill by the time I was spent. "Its all right, this is the first time I've seen a real emotional purge and you've been marooned with us here for almost a half-year." He said as I hiccupped despite my attempt to control my reactions another spill of tears rolled down my cheeks.

_ Had it really been that long already? My gods my sisters! I worried about them in the bitter watches of the night and they were surely frantic!_ I looked up at him again, shivering in reaction, "Almost that long?"

"Yes," the expression softened again, "You have been with us now one whole season and you are nearing the end of fall with us, I don't know if I have met anyone with the depth of abuse you have survived – and damn it woman somehow you survived it maybe not sane altogether but you are certainly a survivor." He continued looking down at me as I squirmed again trying to free myself from the grip. "I already told you I wasn't going to let go yet, so please stop squirming before you hurt one or gods forbid both of us with a too-well aimed knee." He said as I shivered against him finding the chill as the adrenaline rush began dwindling partly realizing that I was almost too close for comfort to the elf.

"Please," I found the break in my voice almost humiliating as I tried tugging one of my hands rather than both to free just one and found that with my asking one hand was freed and the first thing I did was push my matted hair out of my face swallowing harshly as I managed to look up at him and saw the faint smile, almost a relief that I had stopped fighting him as astonishment flowed through me with the realization that his hand was wrapped around my wrist entirely and neither of us were in an excruciating amount of pain. "How?" I asked hoarsely shaking a bit more as his fingers flexed to relax the grip on my wrist while his other hand gave free my head with a last gentle brush of fingers before his fingers brushed away several of the streaks left behind by the tears.

"If I knew I could tell you," the soft answer was as honest as anything else I had been told by the elf, and as blunt, as my eyes closed suppressing the shiver as the remnants of the dream flickered along the backs of my eyelids. I felt the grip of his hand tighten as I fought the image with a quiet sound in my throat. "Don't close off, you're not in any harm's way the past cannot hurt you unless you allow it to."

I shook my head at him ducking it so that I wouldn't have to look up at him, or see the concern in the pewter eyes, feeling it was difficult and painful enough on top of the misery I felt on my own self. "Can't, too … vile." I dared the glance up and saw that the being holding onto me in a grip that was as loose as it was tight understood what I meant, there was simmering anger under the grey eyes and compassion there as well.

"You don't have to," he answered softly and I could almost see him contemplate something as he frowned gently, "You need to rest, and you don't desire to be alone. Nor, I am certain do you need to be right now."

I was just beginning to calm down from the shock and the terror of the nightmare, closing my eyes for just a moment as I relaxed lured to do so by the quiet warmth of his frame nearly against mine, "I could, wouldn't be the first time I've had to do so after a night like this."

"You won't be this night," I heard the quiet rebuke and sighed knowing that a fight after that dream was just not going to happen, and yelped with surprise as his frame shifted in a smooth movement to reverse our poses, wide eyed as his back rested against the headboard watching me a moment unable to move or breathe.

I didn't have a chance to argue further because a tug of the hand on my wrist knocked me completely off balance, and forward in fact to nearly collide with his chest using my other hand to block the contact with a stronger reflexive shudder expecting a painful jolt. The surprised, strangled sound tangled up on itself in my chest as I realized very quickly that his chest wasn't a completely uncomfortable place to rest a split-second before a voice that I barely recognized echoed gently in my mind, _The first step to being whole, letting any man touch you_ "Why?" I muttered as his hand's press against the small of my back encouraged my body to more than half fold onto his giving him the opportunity to pull the blanket over and around both of us to my mild annoyance, I wasn't getting rid of him after all. Damn it.

"Why what?" He asked in a soft murmur fussing with the blanket before his hand rested on the outside of it as I tried for comfort however vainly.

"Why do you insist upon helping me when I have neither asked for it nor really needed it." I answered looking up at him again only to find his hand pressing against my forehead lightly.

"Sleep, when you awaken I will answer that but not before." He answered as I reluctantly yawned then scowled at him, "It is a bit of a long story."


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

I woke to the soft murmur of voices – multiple voices speaking around me and rolled to try to wake up without having to actively move and sighed with a muttered oath. I felt about half-drunk and for me that was a feat as I sat up surprised to find that there were three people sitting in the chairs that had been dragged to the side of my bed and shook my head before realizing that two of them were identical twins, one of whom noticed I was awake before Elrond did.

"Did we wake you?" there was concern in the easy-going voice though I could sense the undercurrent of unease as he spoke.

"Not exactly," I answered sitting up pulling the blankets around myself to study the three of them, "Sleep and I are barely on civil terms it seems."

"I can't argue that since we found Father here," the second answered with a sight nod, "Unusual it is to find him anywhere but his own quarters or study at this time."

"Seems everyone's breaking their usual behaviors," I replied tartly watching the three of them for a moment. Even without the casual, comfortable use of the title I would have known the two as kin to Elrond simply for the similar appearances, being dark haired, grey-eyed and faintly olive skinned though I knew my own ilk well enough – where their father had turned to academia these two had taken the path I had, that of the warrior. "You said you would explain that answer when I woke," my grin was slightly wicked, "Well I'm awake and I'm hungry."

"Well for that, you'll delay the tale." Elrond pointed out shaking his head, "As I'm quite sure you are not willing to travel down to the main room in your sleeping-clothes."

I gave him a scowl and at my look he herded the other two out of my room and I could hear from the other side of the other door though despite nearly a half-year at the place I still couldn't follow the fluid, nearly liquid language. I could tell however from the rise and fall of the cadence that they were debating something pretty intense.

Fifteen minutes later I was as dressed as I would be for the day and went into the other room cocking my head as I had deliberately left my hair down, though not for any other reason than I couldn't make it stay to watch the three of them. I could sense easily that the twosome weren't' happy with whatever he had just finished telling them but out of respect I wagered it was they were not pressuring him not to. "If you three are finished we can go."

"Come then," Elrond nodded and as we walked continued, "In fairness I will tell you they disagree with what I am going ot tell you as we walk, because it is a painful moment in our family's collective lives. But a promise is a promise." He said glancing at the two of them, "Nor will I be overly detailed because I do not think in your case there is a need to be."

"I am sure that you will be able to convey your answer with however much you leave out or don't." I answered easily taking my seat as Elrond retrieved two plates and handed me one of them as one of the twins cocked an eyebrow at the amount of food on the plate.

"She said she was hungry," Elrond answered as he sat down with his own portion then passed me a glass for myself. "And while we eat I will explain your answer."

"Actually," the twin sitting to Elrond's right corrected him, "We will explain and he can clarify what questions you have."

"Okay," I answered amiably reaching for the preserves for my bread, "So long as you explain what I am asking."

"Like any world, ours is one of danger and struggle no matter from where you come." The twin began explaining and then grinned at the quiet rebuke in their fluid language, "All right all right already sheesh, my father reminds me that while he knows I am Elladan at a glance, you will not. My mirror is Elrohir." I was already half listening looking between them for the subtle difference and spied it though only the flare of pleasure at this realization struck me then, "I am certain of what you asked was why he would continually offer or in some cases insist upon helping you when you want it about like I want a hole in my head." He quietly laughed at my expression before his emotions dipped again sending mine on the same violent roller coaster.

I heard Elrond's quiet words again in that easy river of a language and recoiled at the reach of a hand toward mine as I locked myself behind the rather unsteady door of my emotions. And the reaction of the other twin was surprising.

"I want to apologize, the whole situation is upsetting to all of us, because as you well know there are consequences to everything, even the most routine of things."

I reached for my glass with a slightly unsteady hand and nodded quietly, "Fair enough but you're both stalling."

"That we are because it is not a happy moment in all our lives," Elrohir answered with a small smile seeming more sympathetic though I saw the quirked brow aimed his way by their father out of the corner of one eye. "But Ell said he would explain and so he shall."

The other twin nodded and eyed his mirror for a moment and then sighed gently, "The easiest way I know of is to say it this way." He shifted his weight and moved his plate to the side in order to use the tabletop for a diagram, "Our home is here." He paused and drew a circle on one corner near to his elbow, "Our mother was from here," he drew another circle what was obviously representative of a fair distance away and added mountains and rivers, "And because like anyone else she wanted to see her parents, she would journey every so often to see them again, and on and during one of her journeys her party was attacked by the orcs." His voice closed up and for a moment I was dragged again along the swirl of the elf's emotions, "We were not aware of her trouble until one of the horses came back riderless, my mother's horse no less. We three rode to find her at least if nothing else to give her burial as is our custom… and what we found was worse."

I had been able to visualize this more or less and found my hand putting the fork on the table rather than eating my rather delicious breakfast and stared at him not daring to break the silence as Elrond spared us both the staring contest.

"I think you can visualize very well what it was we found," he said softly as I turnd my attention to him again, "I might have spared her body, but her heart .. soul only the white shores of Valinor could heal."

"She sailed," I murmured to myself catching the very slight nod, even though this wasn't partiuclalry what I had asked of him for, it was an answer. "And this affected each of you differently, at least to an extent."

"We hunt them, year after year so that others will not be suffering as she did," Elrohir said intently as he sat up straighter. "Losing her changed the atmosphere here," he said quietly glancing at his father. "It changed all of us."

I could guess to which ways it was changing each of them, the twins had taken to wandering and slaying the monster which had destroyed their family, and the sister I had heard mentioned was visiting still in her grandparents' home and yet it left me puzzling a moment before the understanding came to me. Elrond had dived into his skills, learning and perfecting the already innate gift into such a weapon all its own that it was unlikely that it would not be insurmountable to pull another from the same ledge. I got to my feet unsteadily, "as enlightening as this discussion is I need to try to get out and clear my head I've too many busy images in it."

I didn't give them the option to speak and deter me as I strode toward one of the doors I knew led to the outside pulling the hood over my head hiding the violent red of my hair as I walked. I only barely caught the last words uttered by one of the three before I crossed the threshold into the silencing snow.

"Well that went about as well as expected."


	7. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

"You are avoiding us," I heard the statement before I actually saw the twin, and arched my brow looking up from the book I was reading in order to begin piecing together the language as I seemed to be stuck there indefinitely I had the time.

"Actually, it is cold, it is wet outside and I have a rather frustrating language barrier with most everyone here what do you think have been doing?"

"You do realize that it would be easier to sit and have one of us teach you? Father happens to be an excellent teacher – and patient more than Elrohir or I." he smiled faintly, "We are accustomed to fluent speakers where as Father is more adept at understanding someone who is learning." Understanding and compassion flared across his face as he shook his head, "Oh damn no wonder you both clam up like small fortresses at the mention of the other. Not only are you both empaths – Father's just better at not outwardly showing it than you are accustomed to – but there's a curious attraction there you're both afraid of."

"I am not!" I insisted nearly falling out of my chair with surprise.

"To borrow your favorite word bullshit," He answered glibly though the smile was amused; "Me I figure if you two stop dancing around the big pink horse in the room both of you will be happier. But, Father's too much a gentleman because of what he's pieced together about you." He leaned in quietly and studied me intently, "While Father might correlate a lot of similarities between your story and what happened with my mother he is more than aware that you are an individual person, and from a personal level," he hesitated for a moment and lowered his voice further "I would just like to see him happy again, even in a temporary sense."

I stopped trying to read the book and study the different nuances and then cocked my head at him, "Was that a half-backwards request for me to at least see your father?" I inquired not entirely steadily.

"More or less," he answered calmly putting his hand on the book noticing how my fingers skittered back away from his, "And he wants to help, it's a compulsion you see, this need to try at least."

"Look, I don't like attachments, not in a long time." I answered watching his eyes reminded again of the same depth of his father's suddenly. "But I can use a friend here, and in all fairness Elrond has been nothing but kind; probably more than I deserved."

"Then may I make a suggestion?" he asked cocking his head to one side.

"Only if you aren't demanding that I actually take the suggestion."

"Father normally offers for anyone who wishes to ride with him this evening for an hour or two after dinner before it is too dark. Ordinarily Elrohir and I accompany him but this night if you would like we will decline and allow you two a chance to discuss this pink horse without so many eyes and ears."

An hour or two of my night to get the mirror-brats of my ass the way I would have done uncomfortable things just so Nikki or Destiny would get off my case, that wasn't so bad. I rarely got away with an hour or two so it couldn't be that bad – could it? I noticed that he was waiting for an answer and then slowly nodded, "All right, though I cannot guarantee anything out of an hour or two's time but since you brought it to my attention I should see to it."

Dinner was dragging on what felt like forever, when at last it was clearly nearing the end – plates were being cleared away and Elrond had a mug cradled in his hands that steamed faintly as he looked down the table at each of us at times before speaking, "I am going to take advantage of the clear night and go riding for an hour or so if anyone would like to accompany me I'd appreciate it."

I was preparing my answer when a sharp kick under the table jolted me and I returned fire with my own foot, aiming just under the kneecap as Elladan winced I began speaking distracting Elrond from the expression, "I haven't gone riding in some time, I wouldn't mind getting practice in if you don't mind a near-beginning rider."

"It would be a pleasure to show you around the grounds you have not yet seen, it is one thing to walk them it is entirely another to view them from horseback."

Forty-five minutes later I was sitting on the broad back of a rather calm mare, who took the lead of the other horse easily enough, they walked side by side out of the city proper. This gave me a chance to see truly what I had not the first time as I had been sleeping and I began to understand what it was that the elves loved about the city.

It really was a peaceful valley and it only made me miss my sisters, wishing ot get to see them again or at least let them know that I was okay, in a hell of a strange place but at least I was safe. "What do you think of?" Elrond's quiet voice interrupted my musings.

"How much I missed my sisters," I answered glancing away from the path to cock my head to one side studying him. "And wishing I could at least tell them I am okay."

He nodded sympathetically and for a few minutes was quiet as the horses continued down the snowy path, "I am not sure that I know of a way, but as soon as I can find one, I will ensure that you can." He said with a small smile, "Family for all that they can make one feel insane, are everything aren't they?"

"That they are," I agreed thinking of the mix of people that my younger sisters were and smiled faintly, "And I wouldn't want them to be any other way than they are."

Elrond nodded and for a little while neither of us were breaking the quiet silence again, until he looked over at me as the horses moved on their own into one of the snow-covered glades and he stopped his horse to dismount, and offered me his gloved hand smirking as I had initially balked before remembering both of us were dressed against the chill. "Thank you," I murmured looking around as he cleared off one of the larger boulders.

"Okay, you didn't come here simply for the horseback tour," he said directly as he turned to sit down on it facing me with those glinting pewter colored eyes firmly on mine.

"Well, no." I admitted taking the time to clear the second boulder so that we were more or less eye level again, "Our unspoken agreement of space got noticed." I watched and felt his surprise flare through his senses.

"Which of my sons so helpfully suggested this?" he said sounding almost weary of the topic already.

"Elladan, at least that is my assumption for he spoke of his brother by name."

"Somehow I do not find myself so surprised now. My sons have been increasingly persistent and persuasive about me finding a companion even knowing that I am the first to state that somehow it has always felt like betrayal of my marriage, however gone that she has been sailed."

"Hey I'm none too keen on being perceived as anyone's mistress either here, pal."I felt heat flood through me – making it possible to forget even briefly the winter bite in the air around us, "Even less so by you." I spat lacing my words with my insult and hurt at the implication even if it hadn't been outright said as I raised my eyes to his flashing with the emotions.

Elrond shook his head, trying to clear it from the fog that my emotions were creating around his senses. "That however," he said quietly but clearly not meaning my words, "Is something else we both should address." He sighed once deeply holding my gaze with his own brighter one steadier than I could ever have managed, "We are both able to feel – and to influence the emotions of other people."

"Duh," I snapped at him bitterly, more than a little stung by the blatant statement of the obvious. "It took you this long to figure that out?"

I could feel – literally feel him rein in his temper as he employed my usual tactic, "No, that took all of about ten minutes with an injured, irritable woman who had a compulsion to repeatedly snap my head off."

"Well you were bossy and demanding," I retorted before watching his features darken a bit, "Now call me crazy but this can be done one of two ways, We can get locked into an eternal pissing contest in which we both look like a horse's ass, or we can agree to try to work around our issues, primarily the one that complicates this … thing…. That may or may not actually be going on here. You know that thing that has your sons behaving like the world's most unsubtle matchmakers in the history of the world."

"Attraction," he supplied, "The word you wanted was 'attraction', of course one would have to be dead not to notice you."

_Was that a half-backward compliment?_ I wondered for a moment as my blank feeling was written against my face. "What?"

"You didn't know what to call the reaction that has caused two grown adults to behave like two adolescents." He explained patiently his smile barely turning the corners of his lips upward. "Why don't we table the discussion of this 'attraction' thing and decide to go about this differently instead?"

My innate curiosity had me blurting out "Like what?" before I could think to suppress the reaction or the words for that matter.

"Well, given that when one takes a practical stance, Raina you are not likely to be able to return to your home anytime in the very near future, it would be prudent for you to begin to adapt a bit, and create for yourself a more settled permanent place."

"Huh, okay we're going to pretend that you didn't just confuse the hell out of me, so you get a free pass to try that again." I said smiling evilly, "Since you made as much sense as me claiming to be a giant."

The incredulous expression covered his features and danced along my senses as the rumble of laughter rolled up from his belly or so it seemed. More importantly though it had an infectious effect on me, before long both of us were locked in a laughing fit that didn't seem to want to die down easily. He would, to my annoyance get hold of himself before I did and when he did, he sobered quickly, "Language, young lady is the place to begin."

"Oh that, I've been trying without a whole lot of success to teach myself your tongue." I answered defensively, watching him carefully, "I got annoyed after spending thirty minutes trying to explain to someone I needed direction to the stables a few weeks ago."

"If you would like, I could assist you in learning some of the more complicated nuances of the language, things that a book simply cannot teach."

"Sounds okay by me, " I said as an idea suddenly occurred to me, "In fact Elladan had suggested I ask for just that. But more importantly," I grinned wickedly, "We get both of them off our cases about things for an entirely practical and reasonable cause."

"You have a very devious mind when you want to," he said chuckling once despite the chill in the air, "It definitely seems to be the best option in many ways."

For a short while both of us were relaxing again, relieved that the attraction between us was being shelved and that let us focus on the more sane things – like eliminating the language barrier between me and basically everyone else. "Yeah and I figure it this way, "I said hesitantly as the horse nudged at his shoulder slightly causing the elf to press his hand to its nose, "Why don't we just shelve this whole attraction thing, I mean I'm nowhere near at a headspace that I can handle it and you have your own issues that have you hung up like a cloth on the line. I think it's just better to let it do what it's going to, I mean we're both adults here let's behave like it."

"Fair and reasonable enough to me," he agreed wearily as the horse nudged him again and cause the elf to glance back to it with a sigh, "Come, let us get back before the melted snow turns to ice and creates a danger."

It was a quiet few minutes before he broke it again cautiously, knowing that the topic of my sisters was a touchy one for me, "Can you tell me of them? Your sisters and the others in your family I mean?"

"What's there to know? I'm the oldest of six girls, of which there are two sets of fraternal twins. I spend most of my time when I am visiting them being one part surrogate mom, referee, and basically the go-to person when it comes to problems." I smiled a bit trying to minimize the unease I felt. "I am certain that by now Nichole – Nikki if I make mention of her normally – is the one of them that I am closest to," I bit my lip missing the five of them only the more acutely for the discussion of them, I am most concerned about her anyway which gives me a reason to stick close – she hides a breakable heart and a really shaky self esteem behind a big mouth and a bigger attitude."

"Sounds busy for you." He commented, "What of your parents?"

"My – well our – mother spends her time at home, you could call it a separate world because of some really crappy circumstances that were unfortunately propagated by my father." I sighed quietly, "But that tale is for another day entirely," I said shoring up my defenses about that particularly disgraceful moment in my life, "What makes it harder for all of us is we know already that Dulcea'd give nearly anything in her power to be able to be there for them more than she can be." I frowned hesitating before continuing, "My father I wouldn't disrespect the shark for feeding it to," I shuddered, "I hate him, and I'm terrified of him even I have to I am going to stay between them and him, nothing would please him more than to destroy one or all of us." I frowned once slightly, "He's one of the main reasons I am the way I am. However, their father is a very different person, someone that not only understands his children, but accepted me as part of the whole deal with my mother, without question, without even a second thought it seemed even when I pushed him away." I had to stop the tale for a moment and eyed him, "Don't think badly for them, and of them Elrond they made a sacrifice that no parent should have to – they gave them all up, split them and hid them with different families though like sings to like and they found their way back to each other already. " I eyed him blinking a few times from the cold, "I don't know that I could make that kind of sacrifice if I ever have children."

"It is not an easy thing for either side to choose to do," he agreed calmly and quietly, "and your concern being primarily for them rather than yourself makes far more sense."

"They're all a pain in the head and the ass but I wouldn't know what to do with myself by now without them."

"Come," he said quietly as we crossed the gate of the city, "Let's both go bathe, warm up and meet in the library so that we can work on your language skills before bed."


	8. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Time flies when you're busy as hell, that's for sure. I realized as one of the fear remarkably few servants knocked on my door. "Yes?" I inquired in rather shaky elvish addressing the female.

"Lord Elrond and his sons extend to you an invitation to join them in the family living quarters with those they count as friends and family." She said in equally unsteady common, "It is Midwinter young miss, and it is their assertion that no one in their home be alone."

"Fine," I grumbled as the mention of Midwinter reminded me of the holiday celebrations that I hoped were still going on for the girls.

I certainly wasn't feeling my most festive, yet it was hard not to begin to feel that way once I arrived with the escorting servant to the proper room, watching from the doorway the mix of individuals resting and relaxing together in the room. It was busier than I had expected but I was given a subtle hand gesture to indicate to come forward.

"So this is the mysterious flame that lights up my field some mornings and vanishes before I can arrive," one of the elves commented sitting in a chair a bit back from Elrond's right catching my attention further. He was tall, that was the first thing that struck my attention, I might have come up hip-high if he were standing, and his hair was long and pale blond without dark roots even as I stared blankly at him, unaware that my early-day workouts had even been noticed.

"Ah, I see Arienel had been able to pry you out of your room, young lady." Elrond smiled as I approached.

"Just cause I don't care for crowds doesn't mean I don't know when a request is a thinly veiled order." I replied lightly as an elf about the same height and build as Elrond was approached and handed the paler blond a glass before perching on the arm of the chair casually.

"Now now I wouldn't do that," he said in answer as my attention flicked to the box that was being held out to me by one of the twins, Elladan I thought and took it reluctantly. "My sons are of the opinion that everyone receives a gift at Midwinter." He explained as I eyed it as if it might explode in my hands, "And they do not normally booby-trap their gifts for this night." He gave his sons a warning look as an idea struck me.

"I'm opening it but you're going to hold it as I do." I said with a quick amused grin, "You're not the only one with littler siblings." I said reminded of Nikki in that look as I made him take the box and opened it gingerly well aware of the probability of a trapped box and relaxed once the box didn't explode or otherwise malign either of us as I moved the lid and for a split second I was relieved that I wasn't holding the box for the expensive contents would have been dropped for sure. I lifted one of the identical blades – long daggers made of some sort of mithril and glanced at Elrond quirking a brow as if asking silently permission to try it out before picking one up.

The blade felt entirely natural in my hand, the hilt wasn't overly large, nor was it heavy as I moved with it to the center of the room and spun it in my hand letting my body relax and listen to 'feel' the blade moving and 'singing' to me. I felt the surge of pure pleasure at the perfect fit of the dagger in my hand and with my movements. I didn't make any attempt to hide my reaction as I shivered putting the blade back with its mate. "There is no price nor better gift than a well-made blade I should like to properly thank the smith." I said looking between the three of them before the dark headed elf laughed lightly.

"That look you had more than did, I think didn't it Fin?" he said as the other elf inclined his head.

"A blade will either sing or it won't for a person, I am glad that I could create those for you, may they serve you well."

The gift was entirely too generous but I knew already that getting the elves to take it back was impossible as a glass of wine was pressed into my hands partly to give them something to do as I watched the exchanges and the conversations enjoying the quiet and the camaraderie both as it was something I imagined very few non-elves saw the interaction of each of them together as I sipped the wine, and grew warm and sleepy.

"Rest," I heard the soft admonishment as the blanket covered me and I curled against the arm of the sofa I was curled up upon. My eyes dropped heavily and I slept deeply too deeply it seemed as when I finally awoke the room was mostly empty but for the elves stretched out seeming to be dozing as well. A crinkling noise caught my attention, and I pulled the note out of my pocket that I was certain that I did not have in my pocket.

_Raina,_

_I have a gift as well but I had guessed, accurately it seemed by your reaction to the twins' that you would not like to be placed upon the spot or the centre focus. When you have the time, anyone can direct you to my location today and I will give it to you in a more private setting._

_ Elrond_

I woke up shivering one morning and a cold blast of air through the window that had flown open explained why as did the fluttering spill of snowflakes spraying into my sleeping-room further explained why my nose was feeling rather frosty. Yippee.

_ Maybe there's some of that tea I had the other evening at dinner, that would be good about now._ I thought to myself as I pulled on the heavier pants and sat down to pull on the boots that I had been given for wearing in the winter months before grabbing the dove-grey cloak to pull around my shoulders to ward against the chill.

I wasn't altogether surprised to see that I wasn't the only one with the same idea, various elves were spread out with mugs of steaming liquid in their hands and I shivered only finding the cold again seeping the deeper into my bones reminding me that while I looked to be in my early thirties (or so Nikki swore up and down to me repeatedly) I was old enough to compete with some of these sometimes snobby elves for years as I steeled myself as a gust of wind nearly took me off my feet as I rounded a corner. "Who invited the snow?" I muttered as I ducked into the breakfast room praying that it would be mostly empty to no luck. "Are we reading my mind or something?" I asked not quite able to keep the bite from my tone.

"No, I fear your mind is a place even the Valar would fear to tread," Elrond countered with a small chuckle, "Would you like a cup of tea?" he inquired changing the topic.

"Yeah actually I would," I answered with a shiver suppressing the cough barely from the cold that still stung my lungs, "When'd the snow blow in?"

"Around or just before dawn I think," he answered only half watching his fingers deftly prepare the leaves for a cup of tea, surprising me that he would remember without my having to tell him what I wanted.

"Well its bloody cold," I commented crossly as he held out the mug to me the smile sympathetic.

"Might be prudent to remember that it is winter," he remarked and gestured with a tilt of his head that I had come to recognize as an offer and a request in one to follow him for a few paces. Once we were out of the main paths I realized where we were heading toward, one of the semi-private indoor rooms, and I couldn't help feeling a bit uneasy with his decision to stop there and pick a seat that was adjacent to another. "I notice you've not collected yuour last midwinter's gift." He commented watching me intently it seemed, "I'm guessing you either grew distracted and forgot or are unwilling."

_Shit, way to go offend him but good._ I thought to myself as I frowned once, "I got kind of distracted and about the time I remember its like two in the morning and frankly unless I'm dying I'm not going to pester someone at that hour."

"Well I appreciate the sentiment whole-heartedly a gift is not meant to linger forever in the hands of the one who finds it." He countered and for a moment was silent, "I refuse to bring it to a meal, I am certain that kind of spectacle would only upset you," he laughed at my wrinkled nose expression, "Exactly so why don't we set a time so that you don't feel like you're intruding and I'm going to get to give it to you?"

"Do you have something in mind?" I asked well aware that he had the more intimate knowledge of the inner workings of the city keeping my guard up carefully, not at all sure of what he would suggest.

"I am not of the mind to deal with the minutiae of the day at lunch – I'll be cooped up in my study all afternoon so its not like I'm going to be fleeing for long." He answered watching my reactions carefully. "But with that said, I wouldn't mind having someone to talk to, which would also enable me, if you were willing to break bread with me to pass the gift to you without risking the spectacle."

It was an awkward situation, if I refused I risked looking like a spoilt brat and being rude, and I didn't want that not when Elrond had been nothing but kind to me in the last few months. "I'm not keen on it but, I don't see the point in being rude and mean when you're trying to be considerate – which I really appreciate."

"I will see to it that you are summoned by someone with more sense than gossip in their head," he said almost seeming amused by my response, that or I could surmise that he was expecting it.

"Fair enough," I answered cocking my head to the side, "For now I think I'm going to see if that roan stallion's up for a good run along one of the paths that aren't overly icy."

"Then you should take the one that leads beside the river not over it," he advised quickly, "That one will have guards along it in case of anything happening."

"I'll do that," I said taking the advice seriously, I had learned if only one thing about the elf, he meant what he said and as I moved along the corridors more easily I was somewhat aware of the stares though they were lessening the closer to the stables I came and after a short fuss I was able to get the horse I wanted and set out on the trail.

It was still lightly snowing as he and I wandered along the edge of the river that circled the elven-borders for a short while, perhaps an hour or two when the sound that had been described to me as that of orcs nearby caught my attention as the horse tensed in response to the sound. "Crap," I muttered to myself turning the horse in a close circle realizing that even if there were guards in arrow-distance the roan and I were between their aim and the orcs. "Just bloody lovely," I said to myself softly as two of them advanced on the horse spooking him as the beast was a riding-horse not a warhorse, the move unseated me as he ran back toward the city grounds I hoped as I stumbled ignoring the rocket of pain up my ankle as I did. "Not happening," I said remembering the tale that the sons of Elrond had spoken of reaching for the blades feeling them vibrate in my hands very gently as I unsheathed them. "You want to play, leap froggy leap." I taunted glaring at one of them as I held the blades to my sides wanting them to come to me; the other way was suicide.

Obligingly – as though it understood me two of them charged and I spun in a close circle calling on the years I'd had as a weapons mistress of my home striking out only at the last second dodging the wide arc of the orc's blade thankful for once of being small, it made me a hard target to hit, especially in motion. I heard the hiss of a second blade and instead of freezing I let out a trilling cry from the depth of my lungs pushing the sound out shoving the blades into the nearest one's abdomen as I gave them ground hoping against hope for the sound of elf-bow singing. "GET DOWN!" I heard the shout in elvish and ducked though I wasn't about to take the chance of being buried into the snow as I slid past a third orc taking the cheap shot of the knee as I tried to slow the slippery slide. He fell almost as I did by the arrows protruding from its head. Relief surged in me a heartbeat before terror as the stench of orc filled my senses in the half-heart beat of a last one grabbing my ankle and yanking hard enough that I lost one of the blades hearing it skittering on the slick snow out of reach.

"Oh screw this," I shouted twisting myself around, "No goddamn way," I snarled at it slamming my heel into its forearm to gain momentum to take the one opportunity I would have to get the blade between its eyes, "Let me go damn you!" I hissed at it sinking the blade home well aware I would drop unceremoniously into the snow a good ways.

What I hadn't been counting on was it trapping me in the snow and despite myself and the years spent learning to cope with my fear of being closed in I did the one thing I didn't want to do and panicked pushing against the stinking dying thing screaming as the air quickly stank and turned to burning my eyes and nose.

"Get it off!" I heard the calm urgency as the weight was slung away and I looked up to see a familiar face smiling relieved, "If not for bad luck, young lady you'd possess none." The Seneschal, Glorfindel said in accented common as I sucked in a breath trying to quell the need to scream as the air cleared. "Come on let's get you out of this hole, hm?" he said offering both of his hands for me to take with my gloved ones.

A second elf approached carrying my soiled blades, "I believe you would like these back, I've a cloth that will clean them during the return, we shan't have any further trouble." He turned toward Glorfindel, "I also set several teams to check the rest of this border that was a rather small band of orcs."

"Very good thinking, in the mean time let us get the young miss here back to the city before there's any unnecessary panic after the horse's return." Glorfindel said grimly as a tall white horse with black around his snout and feet approached and stamped his feet causing the elf to chuckle, "this is Asfaloth," he said patting the horse's neck fondly, "he'll be your escort," he explained looking at me moving to boost me onto the horse's back watching as I took the rope reins, "You won't need more than such to guide him, and should we run to trouble again which we had better not, he will both guard and return you to Imladris safely."

True to the Seneschal's word, there were no further mishaps though I was surprised to find myself face to face with both anxious twins as the guardsman offered me my cleaned blades after I dismounted the tall horse with a slight nod of thanks as I put them away. "Unless I've somehow grown a second head, say it for I'm no mind-reader."

"That roan scared us terribly," Elladann began as his twin chimed in,

"Not as bad as Adar but he'll be fine once he receives Glorfindel's report. The guards are talking about the demon-cat in the guise of a kitten and we were trying to see it."

I laughed and settled the blades back at my sides, "Just because I am female doesn't mean I'm any less dangerous with a blade, master elf." I replied with a quick grin, "Since I've been working with weapons as long as I can remember, where I'm from "toys" were blunted or rounded weapons," I frowned slightly, "I practically grew up with a staff in my hand."

"Do you always keep such things to yourself?"Elrohir complained at me the expression on his face, and the mirroring one on his twin's shocked me into a laugh despite the fact I was cold, wet and getting hungry.

"Wise man once told me 'reveal not which can be used against you', I answered as I shivered and felt my nose burn as I warmed up, "Look, as much fun as I'm having freezing while getting the silent riot act I am cold, I'm getting hungry and I really don't feel like getting my death from cold."

"And grumpy," Elladan observed as I only just resisted the urge to growl at them for impeding me. "We'll leave you to it then, and please try to refrain from scaring everyone like that." He said as they passed me leaving the path to the room I'd been given free.

"Like it was the highlight of my day," I muttered sarcastically. "All I wanted to do was go enjoy a little bit of the snow."

Thirty minutes later I was staring blankly at the spread of clothing that I had been given or had commissioned for the trade of dying my own cloth or some such task, and found myself shockingly at a loss for what I preferred to wear, "Ridiculous," I muttered to myself picking up a set of dark emerald robes this one having slacks rather than a skirt and dressed in it before I could talk myself out of it, "If he wanted a lady's nattering company he'd have asked one." I decided aloud to myself, "Since I'm neither nattering nor a lady he gets what he gets."

I was still brushing my hair out when there was a quiet knock at my outer door and I had to hurry to get it before the knocking grew louder, opening it I jerked lightly to see Glorfindel smiling lightly as I let him in. "You didn't think Lord Elrond would ask just anyone to guide you where your late lunch will be?" he inquired smirking at my dumbfounded look, "Being counted one of his closest friends, and being Seneschal grants me special privileges young miss and I don't aim to abuse that trust." He tiled his head at my half-finished appearance, "Go finish you've still got a rather lovely snarl in your hair." He suggested giving me the chance to sprint to do just that.

Ten minutes later I had finished wrestling my hair into a barrette to keep the length of it out of my face and walked back into the main room the dark toned cloak in my hands for walking in the cooler corridors.

"Come along, you'll not be late if you keep up." He said smiling though I could feel the quiet approval of his opinion of my appearance.

_Easy for you to say when your steps are two of mine,_ I thought as I nearly tripped on my feet trying to keep my balance. "All right, how much further is it?"I asked wishing that I hadn't agreed to the whole idea.

"Just a bit further," he answered vaguely turning a second corner than a last one to reveal a snow-covered private garden where one of the other of the grounds, well into the belly of the area I called "private" and for me out of bounds. "And this, is where I will leave you, in the capable hands of my lord.." said inclining his head slightly before vanishing again the same way we had come.

It was the single most tempting moment I'd had in my life to run in a very long time. There wasn't another soul in the garden framed by the dusting snow though the canopy of heavy canvas kept the snow off of the table and chairs. The stew however, was nearly enough to convince me to stay it smelled like something this side of heaven causing my stomach to growl softly.

Elrond looked about as nervous as I felt, the slight frown apparent I realized that he was picking up on my compulsion to flee even though I hadn't made a move to do so. "Quite the morning you had hm?" he said offering a hand as he and I both walked back toward the table sitting on our own sides of it though this was smaller to the point a mere extension of the arm either of us could touch the other.

"Yeah well shit happens and in this case I fell in it face first." I answered watching him intently as he began ladling the stew into bowls before handing me a generous chunk of fresh bread.

The meal slid into the mundane, and the discussion that comes with all meals as we ate. I learned that the twins had not been yanking my chain about the fact the roan returning riderless had upset the elf greatly and I learned that he was spending what spare time he had to try to find out what would get me home, as that was more important than finding out how I had come to be there.

"So what you're telling me," I said pointing my fork at him as I was speaking, "Basically is that you don't know jack about how or why I'm here and even less about how to get be home. I suppose it could be worse. It can always be worse."

"At this point, yes," he confirmed as we began stacking plates to the side, and moving the dessert platter between us and it was less complicated to share it in the middle of the table than to split it onto plate. It was some sort of cake that had a rich chocolate type filling that seemed to melt in my mouth and I had to pay attention to not utter soft mewls and other inappropriate sounds for the taste of it on my tongue.

"Yippee." I muttered watching him for a few minutes, "Which means we gotta figure this non-thing we have going here huh?"

"This attraction?" he inquired calmly appearing unruffled by my reaction to the idea, "yes, as well what truly to do with a wired, and wild woman who more closely resembles a kitten than the wildcat that defended against a band of orcs." He was amused by this, "I do feel compelled to apologize for their behaviors in part, here it is more normal, not unheard of mind you of women being defended not the defender though I must say the shock was good for all of them."

Despite myself and how truly inappropriate my laughter was I heard the strangled giggle rolling up from the depths of my belly, a first real laugh in what seemed like eternity, "Don't delude yourself there, Elrond I defended myself because when you're up shit creek and no paddles by gods you make one, at least that's what I was taught. Bein' a lady's fine and nice but the trouble is I have a real problem being dead."

"I'm afraid I wouldn't be particularly keen on you being dead either," he answered with a touch of emotion I wasn't about to try dissecting in that moment as he focused his attention on moving the plate with the gutted remains of the dessert into the basket designed for the purpose of carrying dishes. I could feel the indecision as he rose offering me a hand which I reluctantly took before remembering that for some masochistic reason the elf endured my tendency to knock people for a serious loop-de-loop when they touched me or vice versa though he gritted his teeth this time nearly hard enough to grind them.

It was not the easiest thing to do walking with him to one of the inner chambers of the space, his space I realized with a jolt though it was clearly the more "public" antechamber than not as it was arranged with shades of blue and grey to calm and soothe it seemed to me as he went to the fireplace and lifted a small rectangular box and turned slightly toward me for a moment I had to blink to clear the illusion created by the fireplace, and the gently roaring fire that backlit the elf. It was a quiet orangey-red glow that brightened even the depths of his dark hair and added orange to the subtle blue of his hair as well. "I would have given this on Midwinter's night if not for noticing the reaction you had to the twins' modest gift, one" he smiled slightly, "which has proven already most advantageous," he said softly.

I willed the slight shake of my hand to stop as I felt the light weight of the small box in the palm of my hand and cocked my head at the careful wrap of the box and tore the edge of the paper carefully at first then wound it around my hand to find the seam of the box that indicated the hinge to it and carefully lifted it mindful to not meet his gaze at all.

If holding my hand steady to accept the box was a challenge then this was the equivalent of trying to hold back a flood with a single wish or will. I didn't know what I had been expecting to find in the box, but what I found not only met the idea and surpassed it to the point if I hadn't been half-braced for just such a surprise I'd have ended up sitting rather ungracefully on the rug by that same fire that had dazzled me for a moment.

Inside the box sat a carefully shaped pendant with a pale blue stone sitting gently against the setting as if a hand had meticulously formed the pendant around the stone rather than the stone to the desired shape. It shone softly against the bed of deep blue and the shining silver of its chain, and I felt for the first time in probably three or four years myself at a loss for words, not just the appropriate ones but the smartass ones that had become my defense against people in general. It was a beautiful piece and after a minute I stopped staring at it and the quiet nerves I felt coming off in controlled waves from the being standing not three feet from me drew my attention upward cocking my head to the side, not quite able to keep my surprise out of my tone, "Th-thank you." I lapsed into common too dumbfounded to manage to speak in elvish this time. Not when someone had given me not only a very personal gift, but one that was edged with multiple meanings, "This is ... stunning." I managed after a moment closing the box to stop myself from staring at it intently focusing on the elf fully not quite able to quell the slight sheen of stinging moisture at my eyes, forced to blink harshly in order to alleviate the burn of them.

"And, you understand why I was reluctant after watching your reaction to the twins' gift to give it to you then," he answered with a faint smile, "And I am honored you find it as pleasing as I did to have it created for you. May it be a comfort to you in the dark nights," he said as we both stood for a moment frozen in time almost as if to enjoy the silence of the early afternoon.

"It makes me feel some guilt I had not a notion of having one to give back," I said after a full minute's time of seeking the proper words, or what I hoped were the appropriate words.

"That is the beauty of a gift, one given without the intent of receiving one in return is only the more sweet when it is as thoroughly and honestly appreciated as this," he disagreed as almost by unspoken agreement we both went toward the seating area and sat for once not on opposite chairs as had become habit, but on the couch side by side though I had to put the box down for fear of dropping it hard enough to break the chain or worse the pendant.

I was not the most at ease I'd ever been, but it was difficult not to relax, and more so when I realized that he had gotten up somewhere in my half dozing state to pour both of us a drink, and the first tentative taste revealed that it was only a mulled cider rather than anything alcoholic. I didn't pay close attention to the minutiae of the conversations we were sharing, but it was seemingly exactly the perfect end to a rather jarring morning, and I found my eyes sometimes drifting closed a bit at a time.

I jumped aware suddenly that pewter eyes were staring at me not with the intense gaze of a healer or doctor but with the searching eyes of a friend, or one who could possibly if circumstances were kinder, be more than that. I didn't want to dwell on that I realized when I coupled it with the sheer depth of the emotions which were beginning to slip out of his grasp in slippery waves each one a bit more intense than the last. More importantly the sensations and feelings were directly in conflict with the gentle friendship that had begun to develop a step at a time…

"Come," I heard the voice murmur luring me out of the half-doze I was sliding into gentle as a breeze as to not startle me, "Much as I would not mind to let you sleep here awhile, I do not think it necessary to have the entire city ablaze with rumor unnecessarily, hm?" he said as I blinked awake fully at the idea, "I will walk with you back to your rooms and then continue with my tasks so that you may rest awhile before the evening meal." He said as I shrugged on my cloak again comfortably warm by then.

As we walked the silence was comfortable, almost too comfortable really as I looked at him from time to time he seemed quiet, sad almost but somehow not quite enough to truly be called "sad" perhaps longing? I thought to myself as the yards between the two spaces seemed to grow together easily, and before long we were standing outside my door.

"Thank you," I said simply looking up at him not sure if I was thanking him for the company or for the gift and the smile was slight, before he leaned closer to murmur with a brush of his lips against my temple, not enough to be called a 'kiss' necessarily but enough that both of us jerked with the resulting sensation,, nearly enough to let me forget the words before I'd heard them.

"Rest well, the evening will come quickly with the rest."

It took nearly every ounce of self-control learned in my years to not bolt into the room and close the door, instead managing to open the door normally and walk inside it calmly though I certainly was not feeling the least bit calm nor was I going to pretend it.

I laid down on the couch near the fire, seeking the warmth and the sound to block out hopefully the sensation curling through me as my eyes closed, bringing up again the last hours and the ending, trying to assimilate and dissect the doings, the last image I had before dropping into a steady sleep was that of Elrond's very slight, not quite amused expression on his face as the door closed almost on his nose. It had not been a very bad afternoon ...after all… I mused to myself dropping the rest of the way into sleep.


	9. Chapter Nine Please read warning

/A/N - I have had a difficult week with my father's passing and in dealing with the heartache of that I have relied heavily upon the support of my friends, particularly Kaashaa who's been my friend, confidant and co-writer for many years. Please note that this chapter will not be for everyone, and if adult situations offend you or you are underage, please do not continue, I promise to have another section up in the next few days. - Silentdovesong

I'd become, over the last few weeks adept at avoiding Elrond when I wanted to, and given the heady set of emotions I so did not want to cope with relating to the elf, I wanted to avoid him. The air was this side of electric most of the time, and the discomfort I felt was nearly enough to make me actively seek to hide from the elf. More, however I was afraid of the result of not taking an active interest in avoiding Elrond.

I most certainly did not need or want to know the result of not avoiding the elf, at least I was rationalizing out my paranoia to my personal satisfaction whether or not anyone else saw it the way I did, and well I wasn't of the mind to much care. Then again, it was mid-season which I had already learned was celebrated the way I was used to celebrating holidays. All around me there were the sounds of elves celebrating the season, and the new growth and the season's successes and a very rare birth, so they were all in fine spirits even though I couldn't quite join in the merriment, I missed my sisters too much to be able to be a passably happy person. But I was enjoying the nice relaxing "buzz" of emotions from the elves and their merry moods and I had staked out one of the few quiet glades in the city for dozing and enjoying the mood without risking spoiling it with my own odd temperament, I felt I owed the elves that much for their generosity.

I had been sitting long enough in the glade to grow drowsy, comfortably warm lying under the trees on my light cloak, quite awake but not so much as to be fully alert, allowing myself to drift along the warm buzz of emotional ebb and flow, sort of drifting along it like a leaf in the wind. I was only vaguely aware of the presence of another behind me, too comfortable to actually feel like turning toward the quiet warmth. It was not needed to in order to know the source of it, the soft scent of sea-salt and some unfamiliar spice combined only in one person along with the soft whisper of moving silk, in a moment I was too relaxed to feel like getting up to avoid the elf however rude it would have been seen as being. I was not sure if it was particularly wise, given the current I felt still under my skin when Elrond was near, yet I did not find in myself a valid reason to vacate, he hadn't actively sought to touch me, nor had he done more than create a small beacon of warmth behind me that I noticed. Normally even the lightest whisper of a touch so much as on my shoulder was enough to send me catapulting away from whoever had been foolish enough to risk such a gesture; this particular evening I hadn't really noticed the touch, it seemed like being touched by a butterfly, like the one I was watching settle onto the white rose nearby.

For the first time that I could remember the touch was not something that caused a torrent of pain, was it from the fact it was not a direct skin to skin contact I didn't care. It was something I was going to take at face value as my eyes closed on the sight of the calm butterfly on the rose only half aware of the continuing touch of a single fingertip on the back of one shoulder. I had to be dreaming… at least that was my rationale, for fully awake the lightest touch sent me spiraling in pain unless I was in dire emotional upheaval. "I must be dreaming," I murmured to myself, not at all truly convinced I wasn't and that the warm presence behind me wasn't my mind creating an illusion for its own comfort.

"Then dream," the quiet lilting tone belonged to Elrond, as I had guessed it could belong to no other by then the fingertip just barely dancing along the nape of my neck braving the invariable ache of touching my bare skin with his own, this time too causing a shiver of reaction rather than pain to skip down my spine letting me drop a bit further into the quiet near-doze.

'_There is no way this is real,'_ I thought to myself as I rolled gently for comfort's sake in the soft grass, balling partly my cloak under me, breathing in the soft scent of the grass_, 'I don't remember the last time so much as a fingertip didn't light up my senses in the upsetting painful way.'_ "Don't wake me," I mumbled to myself half wrapping the rest of the cloak around my legs for warmth, "This is too pleasant a dream to abandon…."

The warm breath on my nape was from the quiet, nearly silent chuckle that sent a deeper shiver down my spine and partly covered my face with the tossed strands, causing me to realize that even if I were dreaming – and I wasn't sure I wasn't – he most definitely was completely awake and aware of his senses. The gentle slips of fingers along my head and hair, lightly twisting the ends of it in gentle tugs that had several strands falling over my eyes. Only as I settled again in the grasses a last time did the absolute certainty of the reality of the soothing warmth of the bulk behind me being real become so, the lightest touch of a hand wrapping around one of my shoulders, little more than the feel surely of the butterfly's feet on the rose petal surely confirmed it in a wisp of sensation. The touch of his fingers grazing over my neck drew a quiet sound in my chest, one that I didn't actually recognize as my own, "Don't fight it, just drift along like before," I heard the reply nearly against my ear, the breath tickling along my neck and hair with a softer sigh into my skin, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in its wake.

And drift along did I, it was a welcome sensation that was the sweetest, headiest dream I had ever known in my lifetime. It left me barely aware as I was lifted as if being less than a feather's weight and then settling again in a different space. I chose not to think about this, and less so on the where this new place must be, as the smell was softer, more subtle and less of the natural grasses and trees, or the night-flowers that had just begun their nightly array of aroma, and reluctantly my eyes flickered open to find the shades of grey and blue around that marked only one space in the city that I had seen and it was nearly enough to awaken me if not for the cool comfort of the feel of silk and velvet that skimmed my flesh anywhere it touched, an expansive soft sea of blue and grey that I didn't want to focus too much on. The sea of silk and velvet moved tilting back behind me as if someone was tipping it and I rolled gently against the current sighing with the warmth that wrapped around me again, without guilt this time, enjoying it with quiet sounds in my chest and throat alike. This time the warmth moved more boldly to wrap around me, less shy with the touch as I felt the breath again in a murmur against my neck, like in any dream the words were quickly lost in the second they had been uttered.

At a protest I didn't know of what, a single fingertip pressed to my lips to quiet it only to be replaced with a gentle brush of lips to further silence the sound. The subtle taste – wine with something more substantial but I wasn't sure what – seared the gentle drift like fire through deadwood, causing me to thrash slightly to find myself gently, but firmly caught in a grip that left me only the option to stare into grey eyes that locked my gaze and wouldn't turn loose of it. ["Drift,"] the command was gentle, persuasive and nearly silent in his native tongue which only made the nearly instant response all the more bewildering for me as I felt my body relaxing along the taller shape though his hand didn't release either of my wrists. ["I am the least likely to bring to you harm"] I couldn't argue this with him, never had I been more than yelled at and even this was not without an apology later, the fingertips skimming along my shoulders were gentle, aimed touch with the intent to calm and comfort, luring into a sense of quiet again as I quietly sighed drifting again into the gentle space.

I was aware of the soft tug on my outermost layers of clothing, while it was spring; it was still cool in the evening hours though at that minute I'd have never noticed the cool, as my fingers were warm as was the rest of my form. The tug was unhurried, almost lazy until the cooler evening air slipped along my skin through the layer that had been hidden under the first, the air felt like fairy tickles along my skin only to be chased by the light sensation of lips or a hand, luring a softer sound I didn't realize I even knew how to make, resembling a cat's plea for attention. I barely realized that the seemingly innocuous and innocent tug on a layer of cloth was not either of those things, not until the slightly cooler air brushed along my skin, at the same time I heard the cloth drop somewhere nearby.

Hands encircled mine, bringing both to his lips, grazing them only enough that my attention would come up out of the delicious teasing fog to meet his gaze, not at all steadily in fact as I heard the murmured direction, "Share," it was in the same soft luring tone that the wish had been before, of drifting as I struggled to stay in the moment with the quiet words washed over my senses dropped wholly into the dreamlike space, no longer caring if it were dream, or reality though the latter would have been certainly quite welcome, "Relish in this moment," his breath dusted past my neck with the words, "Morning may bring about the expected reactions, this night I do not think will be so," he continued gently biting into my neck with little more than a scrape of teeth to skin, "Dare …. For just a night's time… to share…."

I did not want to think, nor to rationalize out the sensations and doings, to understand how for the first time in enough years I didn't remember actively the last time touch did not drop both myself and the other into agony on the ground, and I did not want to think so much as to ruin the comfortable, soothing drifting sensation that seemed to tie my evening together. It was… I realized with a shiver enjoyable to be touched, even in light nearly tickling strokes. I hadn't realized that he had released my hands or that they had on their own found the sensitive ears until his bodily shudder and the toss of his head that bounced my hands away from the delicately pointed, sensitive small limbs, he growled softly as my fingers skittered over shoulders that felt like warm velvet to slip into thick hair longer than my own and stronger. Every brush of skin contact only tormented that bit more than the previous touch had and left me with a taste for more. Anywhere he did touch hummed impatiently, and anywhere he hadn't shivered with anticipation.

I felt my fingers slide stubbornly under the layer of clothing he wore, and the expanse of olive toned skin hidden there felt like heated velvet under my fingers, and smelled still of sea-salt and spice, and as softly mysterious, heady and luring as the last hours had been only magnified with the breath that filled my senses. An accident brought the warm skin to graze against my lips, though it conveniently silenced the quiet moan that was clawing its way out of my chest feeling the agile fingers worming their way under the last light layer of cloth I still wore.

"May I?" the question burned in my senses, a living thing which ate its way through my fog even as his movements all but ceased, even if I could feel myself still trembling as if they had not stopped yet. I didn't know if I would ever feel the way I was then, ever again; teased, aroused, tingling and even longing to have someone – even as different as the elves were from myself – the touch was for once entirely and completely not only welcome but wished-for. As foreign as being touched was normally, this wishing – need for another minute, another second of it even was foreign, and quickly craved as when the steady hand slid away I heard my own protest of this and jerked gently in the warm grip that held me steadily against his form.

I nodded only slightly, well able to sense the restraint that suppressed the more base need to tear away the last layer of clothing I wore, and hands too steady to be possible to my eyes, lifted away the last layer drawing my attention with the tug over my head almost confused as he set it down but more so when I realized that I had done similarly with the last of his, on some instinctive move on my own though I didn't lower my gaze to see, I relied on my other senses to know of this instead.

The soft touch slid against my skin, gently venturing over the places that had been till then hidden by the cloth, or sheltered by the thin material at least. There was, I knew already little shyness to the elven-kindred and in this one less so, even as I squirmed with the light touch over sensitive places kneading his shoulders as I heard the soft soothe in the same instant fingertips grazed over the most sensitive of places seeming to guess I would jerk out of instinct. His second hand was wrapping around my shoulders to help me stay nearby it seemed, shivering once lightly as the touch coursed through my senses causing me to quietly whimper despite myself.

It was new enough of a sensation that I was still reeling from it a solid thirty seconds later, when I felt the press of his lips against mine again, quieting the whimpered protesting sounds and luring a softer nearly silent wishful one as I could feel fingers winding into my hair instead of my shoulder in a gentler very subtle tug that arched my back in a very soft one. "Savor this," I heard the words swirl around my ear not even realizing until then he had broken the kiss away to speak at all. "Remember the way this feels, and know that somewhere you have as much a right to these pleasant dreams as anyone else." He said softly causing me to squirm slightly against him uncomfortable with the words, inadvertently causing his teeth to scrape along my neck as I hissed out a nearly silent plead.

"Please," there were traces of my guilt, shame and need mingling into a heady mixture which left me barely able to think let alone speak again, saved from them by the repeating of the deeper kiss that drowned them again breaking through the weak barrier my lips proved to be in my surprise.

The sheer intensity of his desire and arousal would have been alarming if I hadn't already been as aroused and stirred as I was already, needing the quietly burning touch of skin pressed to mine in a smooth movement that left me digging my fingers into the warm skin on his shoulders kneading them with each slight movement.

I would have been alarmed or at least embarrassed under most circumstances to fully recognize the actual manifestation of his reaction to each of our doings, the heat pressed against my thigh sent a shockwave up my spine as I tried to move, only to find a hand pressed against the small of my back and settled me still where I had been very nearly with whispered words of nonsense with the purpose of calming without losing the hours of quiet stirring tease. It was nearly frustrating to realize that the whispered, mostly nonsensical words drew me into the hovering pose and the waiting doings as his fingers dug carefully into my spine allowing me the chance to feel and spin into the sensation there as well.

I heard the soft oath, and didn't catch the meaning as my fingers twisted where they had been, this time wound around a few strands of hair as my palm had been clapped onto his shoulder when his had stopped me from moving away in a fitful jerk of surprise, "Kitten claws," I heard him murmur prying my fingers loose of his hair, then rubbed them with his own larger hand, the words capturing my attention back to his features, noticing vaguely that his reactions were etched into the darker grey eyes, less silver than they had been, and more akin a moving storm-cloud again though I didn't get the luxury of worrying over that for more than a few racing heartbeats distracted by the firmer bite to my lower lip jerking lightly with it, my vision blurred slightly and the pressure of a hand grabbing hold of my hip which seemed for that moment to be the only thing holding my senses together, and that only barely.

I didn't recall the meaning of the words I muttered and I didn't realize he didn't recognize them either, as my mind slid backward into its own natural processes though words seemed the unimportant piece of the puzzle, as fingers and lips seemed to already know which direction they were to go and would go without any conscious thought. His form moved almost on its own but for the hand that kept hold of my hip, kneading the heated skin there as I shivered with a softer hiss as his form shifted along the warmed sea of blue and grey only barely realizing that his hand had moved slightly with his doings.

Every fiber of my being, parts of me I had either blocked out or forgotten how to experience alternated between an unfamiliar pleading and a demand that had my head spinning almost as fast as the rate my body declared what he was doing to it was either not legal or at the minimum should have been a crime as dizzying as everything felt, and the next touch and brush of lips only heightened the sensations and I muttered vaguely to myself as my world spun again, but differently as only after the fact I realized what had happened, the hand on my hip had moved and somewhere I heard the hiss of breath against my ear blowing hair this time into my face as I squirmed despite myself.

If I was dizzy – and I was – he certainly felt the same as I felt the fragile hold I'd had over my emotions shatter and everything tilted in such a way that I saw color and stars at the same time and heard the sound that I knew wasn't mine and had I been in control over my reactions I wouldn't have ripped him along the tailspin my senses had catapulted on even though somehow he managed to keep more of his balance than I had, out of instinct and need both I held on shivering blindly as his fingers wound around my shoulder keeping me from moving away not even from the second hand creating a havoc that if he didn't end I was going to lose what shreds of my mind I had managed to keep hold of.

Somewhere near my ear I heard the ragged breathing of someone else, and for a split-second I couldn't remember why that could be, and struggled again only to be pulled into a second dizzying wave of sensation as the arm wrapped around my shoulders, seeming to guess my compulsive reaction to anything new or foreign was to bolt from it only succeeded in driving my weight back where it had been and this time spun wilder and with less control than the first time, though my cry of surprise was drowned by the lips pressed to mine swallowing the sound it seemed as I couldn't – didn't dare to move out of realizing that every next movement shattered my senses into another hundred pieces.

"Please," I gasped even though I did not know for what I was pleading, only knowing that the ever-brightening kaleidoscope of color and light was hypnotic and I didn't want at all to lose the spiraling sensation that accompanied the next sensations and those because of the gentle shift of his hand along my hip, a gentle mercy of the hand moving away rather than closer to my form. The parting gift being a mixed one, as I trembled against him despite the fact the hand now rested high on my ribcage well able to feel my heart racing under my breast.

"Shh," the whisper was against my ear, a calming balm as I shuddered then settled against the warmth that was his body, enjoying it for a moment as my attention was caught again by the kind features, though the silvered grey gaze was no more, replaced by a darkened, rolling storm-cloud grey that was nearly alive with the promise and threat in his next word, "More?" to which I could barely utter a tormented sound.

_'There cannot possibly be more,'_ I thought to myself as his lips directly and wickedly proved me wrong on my thought, revealing what that more I didn't believe could be possible was, and how it was the case in fact as a softer wordless plead reverberated in my chest in response to the touch.

And, I realized after a long time, how many minutes I couldn't have guessed by then as indeed, there remained more than that and this time he stopped moving for a full minute or longer, but for the teasing fingertip trailing over my side and sometimes sliding upward and lower, in fact as his breathing settled and I realized that it wasn't for my benefit that he had paused, but his own control over the situation, or at least himself.

The current of electricity caused by his fingertips drift over my skin was followed in short order by the light nudge to one of my shoulders to push me into the tossed blankets, which flattened and spread them under my weight, though I was far from left alone. My light confusion splintered into many pieces, hearing not only my own reaction but his, and felt the reaction of the warm figure sliding near to me; and then closer. The spiral this time was a more violent tilting whirl that was double caudices where one spin ended the second began anew.

If before had been a shattering experience, then this meeting of body and it seemed more than that was blinding and searing in the same second and I would have tried to move away from it but for the fact that my body had its own opinion of the doings, each slide was approving and demanding of the next movement not even hearing my own responses to the sensations as my vision blurred completely and then went liquid melting into the doings unwilling to even consider fighting through it. I could feel the warm hands delving into my hair, the tug backward arched my back and I uttered a sound I couldn't grasp from where it came, as the sensation seemed to double over again.

I was destroyed in those minutes, or longer if that were possible without dying as his fingers kept my head in his hands still, looking sightlessly up into the ceiling of olive skin though I didn't recognize for what it truly was by then. I felt myself surface from the sensations only enough to be tumbled back into the blinding spiral of sensation and then tossed further along it despite any attempt to stay abreast the sensations, to keep hold of my mind something it was not difficult to tell that he did not want me to do.

"Shhh," I heard the whisper against my lips teeth scraping my lower lip as my eyes cleared only enough to focus on him, feeling his trembling form pressed along mine, or was it the other way around? I couldn't tell anymore which it was and I didn't care as I was held closely to his form feeling myself drop heavy as a stone in water barely hearing the soft direction of resting that the sun would rise to shed light on the night, my slumber however was not as peaceful as I would have liked. The rest was as charged as the night had been, though it was the warmest cooler evening I had known in more years than I dared to count as my mind closed off from awareness.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Nikki carefully changed the disc in the portable player that was now silent as the door to the room she was a silent sitting sentry in glaring at the neurologist as he came in to examine the charts, and the monitors, '_You're out of your damn mind if you think I'm ever going to give up on Raina._' She thought furiously as the man sat down with a sigh, watching her through quiet dark eyes.

"I understand your family's stance on this, and I respect it but I want to reiterate again, that for every day that passes in which that the patient does not regain consciousness, the likelihood that she will decreases exponentially."

"Yeah, and I'm tellin' you all she needs is time and people like you to shut up." Nikki snapped angrily as Tommy slipped into the room and placed a restraining hand on her shoulder.

"Babe, being angry with the doctor isn't going to help Raina," he said gently though the doctor could see that there was leashed anger in the man's dark eyes, "And Nikki is right, all Raina really needs is time, you don't know what we do about her sister." He said directing his comment to the doctor, "And until my wife and her twin agree to even entertain the idea of removing that respirator you and all your companions need to drop the whole topic, are we clear?"

"And if she never regains consciousness?"

"We deal with that bridge when we get to it far as I'm concerned, Doc the builders haven't even started it." Tommy said squeezing Nikki's shoulder intentionally quieting the furious words that he knew only too well were burning his wife's lips.

"And you are completely aware that there is a very real probability that the woman that regains consciousness is going to have a very long road to recovery; this coma is very concerning, Mrs. Oliver because all the signs point to something being very wrong within the brain itself."

"Yes," Nikki snapped at the doctor, glaring darkly, "And when we get to that bridge we cross it too. The thing is, I looked at the same CAT scans, and the same MRI's you did and unless there's something I ain't seein' and you ain't tellin' me about for whatever stupid medical reason when I'm the only one other than my twin who can currently give you direction I say let her have the time she wants." She paused to wipe at her stinging eyes, "And you should consider a new line of work if this is your best bedside manner." She shoved past the doctor and out the door stalking toward the vending machines where she planned to get a fresh drink as her phone rang. "Hello?"

"Well hello to you too," the voice on the other end of the phone was a calming balm over Nikki's frayed nerves, her mother-in-law was one of her hands down favorite people and hearing from Jan at just the right minute was exactly what she needed.

"How do you do that?" Nikki asked punching the Dr. Pepper button and waited impatiently for the bottle to drop to the slot.

"Do what dear?" Jan asked innocently though Nikki could hear the smile in her voice.

"Call exactly when I need a familiar, rational voice." Nikki answered with a sigh.

"Mother's intuition dear, but tell me how bad is it really?" Jan asked her tone turning to business.

Nikki paused to gather her thoughts and found a seat overlooking more than a mere parking lot, "It's bad enough the doctor wants to pull the respirator or so he tells me. I've seen all the CAT scans and MRI's and I keep telling them to give her time, Jan." Nikki stopped as the tears began to try to flow and her voice began to break.

"You have to follow your instinct, at least where Raina's concerned." Jan answered reasonably, "You've said before your sister was a little different, though you never said how precisely. If your instinct tells you to wait then you tell the doctors to flush their heads if you need to."

Nikki laughed dryly, "I've already said that and so has Tommy. I think the doctor's bedside manner needs to go back to basic training if you ask me. I know Raina's going to be okay with time even if the doctor doesn't but he acts like I'm being selfish about it."

"Nobody said doctors had the sense to rub their hands together to make them warm either, dear." Jan said with a chuckle, "That's what nurses are for. As for you being selfish I'd be more worried if you were even entertaining this asinine idea, you've said before there was nearly nothing that could truly take her out unless she wanted it."

Nikki smiled, "It's true most nothing can really take Sis out unless she was willing for it to. I'm worried that the doctor will pull the plug though before she's ready." Nikki became quiet watching as the doctor stood close by talking or rather arguing with Destiny who had showed up, a half-finished coffee in one hand.

"I hope you break his hand then," Jan said mildly knowing that Nikki was apt to do just that in a temper because of how she felt about her sisters, "Just remember you can go to the death penalty if you kill him."

"Don't worry I don't think Tommy would let me get that far. Listen I'd better get off here before Destiny beats me to almost killing the doctor." Nikki said glaring at the doctor.

"Tell my son to call me later, after the fun," Jan said chuckling into the phone knowing that the call would be at least entertaining if nothing else later that night.

"I will and you tell the kids we love them and to behave themselves." Nikki finally said her goodbyes and hung up heading toward the group in question.

"I'm telling you my professional opinion that this is the most humane option we have even if it's not the one you want to hear from me, families have to make the hard decisions all the time when it is a brain injury like this." The doctor argued as Destiny glowered reining in her temper carefully as she saw Nikki's approach.

"And I'm telling you that if you continue to pursue this argument any farther I'm having my aunt come and talk to the directors about your attitude and I'm requesting a new doctor." Nikki said laying a hand on Destiny's arm in a silent show of keeping her sister calm.

He gave an aggrieved sigh and focused on the second twin, realizing slowly that neither of the pair were willing to give up on what he had long since considered a hopeless cause, "I've told you my assessments you're more than welcome to bring in any other specialist you like." He said stiffly turning to walk down the hall consulting the chart in his hand as he walked.

Nikki turned to Destiny, "What made you guys show up and where's Jas at?" She turned slightly to watch the doctor not sure she trusted him at all.

"Call it intuition that you were close to knocking that guy's lights out," Destiny answered scowling, "Though I say we take that huffy offer and get someone else to tell us what's really going on." She said with an annoyed sound, "He's awful eager to yank that plug and I'm awful eager to kick him in the nuts so that can't be coincidental."

"I'm already working on finding someone else 'cause I'm damn near close enough to ruining that guys day permanently. Jan keeps reminding me not to commit murder though." Nikki and Destiny walked slowly back toward Raina's room.

"She's right though, if you lose your temper too far Raina loses a big part of her shield," Destiny pointed out as they went into the room disregarding the general and posted rule of two guests in the room at the same time, "But I gotta admit it's really strange even for Raina."

Nikki nodded, "I know it's just that man is going to be grating on my last nerves if he keeps this stupid quest up."

"Babe, he's already on that last nerve, the question is what are you two going to do about it?" Tommy said wrapping an arm around Nikki's shoulders.

"We're finding a new specialist before this idiot decides to override us and try killing Raina." Nikki looked at Raina sighing, "Still nothing from Sis?" She leaned into Tommy's embrace.

"Only the same beeps and blips that are driving us all nuts too," Destiny confirmed with a sigh, "I just wish I knew what was going on in her head at least, cause it was one of those things that always made her interesting before, that mind of hers."

Nikki nodded, "I just wish she'd wake up. I'm worried every time I turn around that thing is going wild then it slows down and finally goes back to normal. It's starting to worry me."

"We all want her back," Destiny agreed knowing that their respective husbands felt the same if only for solidarity, "First then we tell this doctor to piss off and find someone who can at least grasp why we're pushing so hard to give her time, I mean we watched her bounce back from near breaking her back as kids a long time ago like it was nothing, even if it took like three weeks." Destiny pointed out.

Nikki nodded, "I know and that's what I'm sure she'll do given enough time. I think I'm going to go make a couple of more calls while I can and see if I can find another specialist. Then I'd suggest we try and grab something to eat while we can."

"It doesn't feel like much, but we need to do just that," Jason pointed out with a cautious smile, "You two have to be fighting fit to do the head cracking that she can't yet."

Everyone nodded, "Well lets go find some place to eat and I can call on the way." Nikki answered as everyone followed her back out the door.

Three hours later Nikki was settled in the uncomfortable chair in Raina's ICU room and started up her portable player again to listen to the movie disc that was in the drive until she fell asleep….

Nikki sat up with a deep gasp looking around quite certain that she had fallen asleep in the uncomfortable hospital chair listening to the blips and beeps of the machines that the doctors insisted were keeping Raina alive even though Nikki was equally certain that doctor was full of shit. All around here was the sights, smells and the feel of grass and leaves under her feet. The trees were too large to have been any native species she had ever seen and as she reeled from that her ears picked up the sound of a footstep, whisper-soft and just crinkling the ground causing her to bounce to her feet whirling around in a quick circle colliding with a body. "Hey!" she yelped stepping back into a habitual defensive stance glaring up… and up at the almost bemused face.

"My, we seem to continue to acquire new friends from this same place. If I'm guessing you must be some kin to Raina who's with my father." He stepped back a bit still smiling at the bewilderment to cross the young face.

"Excuse me! Wait back up and hold the damn phone a minute. First where am I, second who are you and last what do you mean you know where Raina is?" Nikki dropped into a protective stance eying the stranger. "Oh and what are you cause you're not a Vulcan that's for sure?"

"First, what's a phone and second, I can answer those easily enough. Third, you are in the forests that are within the borders of the elven lands called Imladris – Rivendell in the common tongue. Fourthly, I am Elladan son of Elrond and sometimes errand-boy for the tasks at hand. Fifthly, as for Miss Raina that would be my guess as they spend a fair bit of time in each other's company, though doing what I couldn't say."

Nikki glared at him, "Where the hell did you say? I'm sorry but you must be smoking something cause that place doesn't exist." She backed up a bit before suddenly grabbing him and yanking him forward hard by the wrist till he was only inches from her face, "Look tell me how to find my sister and do it quick and you can explain what you are on the way. Don't pull crap with me either otherwise you'll be part of the trees around here." Her eyes narrowed showing her annoyance to him finding everything humorous.

Elladan's impatient sound was the only indication of his annoyance as he tolerated the grip of her hand though she could feel the muscles in his arm moving he was easily triple her strength and could easily break the grip if he chose to, "I told you the truth, what purpose would a lie serve me?"

"Trust me in this crazy ass dream realm you learn to not trust anyone besides you've not answered all my questions," she paused for a moment, "Elladan. Now I want to see my sister and trust me I'll know real quick if you try something on me and trust me I can make a ruckus so loud whatever's around here will think its lunch time." She stepped back dropping his wrist watching him before a sound behind her made her jump to the side.

"I watched your sister chase my father's armsmaster around his salle because she was in a spectacularly bad mood," he answered unconcerned about the deer that she was searching for and sighed and turned her shoulder so that she could see the doe, "Just a deer, see?" he said and continued speaking, "I'm an elf, well if you really want to split hairs I'm technically not but that's a story even I get screwed up telling and best left to my father or his advisor." He pondered, "Did I miss anything besides taking an irate and wired woman into Rivendell?"

Nikki shuttered finally shrugging his arm off her shoulder, "I guess not. Now if you please let's get going before something bad does happen." She looked at him still tense and uneasy, "Just um how far is Rivendell?" She directed the question in his direction though she was still looking around her expecting King to come out any minute and laugh at her before attacking her.

"About a quarter-mile from the center of the city," he answered smiling faintly, "No harm will come to you if that is your worry, though I cannot promise I can deliver your sister she has an .. Illusive tendency especially when she doesn't want to be found." He said slowing the pace of his long stride – it was nearly two steps to one of his Nikki realized to her annoyance – this elf was tall.

She let out a small huffed sigh, "Just great like I wanted more exercise. Don't worry my sister will know I'm there I'll make sure of that." She stumbled over a root, "Great this will teach me to forgo my training exercises with Tommy and Jason." She glanced up at the elf, "Please tell me we're not walking all the way?"

"Well I didn't bring my horse for a simple five mile normally peaceful border check." Elladan replied easily as he began picking up the subtle nuances that marked the two as kin, even if he was sure that they were more and more that attitude was far too familiar. "Is that a problem?"

Nikki sighed, "I guess not considering we're already walking. Okay lead on Elf boy and try to not make me kill myself." She watched him carefully noting the scrutiny he was giving her. "See something that's of interest to you?" She finally asked unable to keep her mouth shut anymore and avoid the smile.

"Elladan," he corrected her chuckling, "There's a lot of elves where we're heading, and its not a hard path, even on foot. As for what I was finding interesting was that I was able to pick out a few similarities between you two, even if I would have said more distant kin than sisters as you say but she has mentioned having sisters on occasion."

Nikki laughed, "For now I'm calling you elf boy. I'll be nice when we're around civilized people but as for the similarities well that's a story in and of itself but short and sweet we're actually half-sisters. I'm glad she's at least mentioned us." Nikki grinned at him.

He stopped walking and frowned slightly, "Big words from a woman who hasn't even offered her name since I could go about calling you 'woman' all the time and that I am quite sure would piss you off in about three seconds flat and get my ass handed back to me if you actually are Raina's sister." He replied seriously, "And yes, she's mentioned having several, usually not often or for long but a bit at a time my father was able to pull some information out of her."

Nikki giggled, "Sorry about that. My name is Nichole Rochelle Skywalker Bradford Oliver but you can call me Nikki and only Nikki. Really you have to learn to take a joke. Look I know I was pretty snappy earlier but I'm still trying to figure out how in the hell I got here or if I'm dreaming. As for my sisters I'm surprised she mentioned the older twins considering there's bad blood. I'm just glad your father was able to get her to talk about me, my twin and our little sister. Now shall we continue our journey Elladan."

"Nikki, then." Elladan nodded, "Fair enough and while my sense of humor still works little one, it stings a bit when someone behaves as such as that about what we are. And as for your sister I've seen corpses be more open with details and entrails too."

"Again sorry it's a little farfetched to believe you even exist considering where I'm from this is all a movie." She paused contemplating the other information she was given. "What exactly has she said? I mean Raina's not usually an open person you kinda have to learn which locks to pick and which one's to leave alone so you don't get blasted."

Nikki saw immediately that like the phone the idea of a movie was foreign to him as they continued the walk he was quiet for a few minutes, "Only that she was worried about you all and that at times she missed each of you, for different reasons though I have heard her mention you by name. I'm guessing you're closer to Raina than the others? And as for getting blasted I was lucky. My father was not."

Nikki smiled, "Why am I not surprised. Raina and I are closer than the other siblings. It's always been said that amongst both sets of twins and our little sister that Raina and I are more like. I bet she mostly mentioned trying to get a hold of me so I wouldn't panic over her missing." She paused as they entered the edge of the woods and Rivendell laid before her eyes.

Elladan nodded stopping her with a hand on Nikki's shoulder so she wuoldn't trip over a small cliff and risk breaking her neck, "Careful, she's a beauty of a city but nothing to break your head over trust me." He said calmly as the conversation with his father over that very idea, "Yeah, Raina was really concerned that you of all of the others would be more worried and upset about her being missing."

Nikki stopped looking around, "Wow talk about beautiful. I tend to be the worry wart of the family so I'm told. I guess it comes from being the closest thing that Raina has to what she use to be like or so I'm told. I personally don't know what she was like before well before she is like what she is. I think to it comes from the fact that Raina helped raise me, my sister Destiny and our younger sister Autumn."

Elladan let her have a few minutes to look over the expanse of city, and smiled faintly, "She doesn't do the attachment thing well does she?" he looked from the city buildings and sighed quietly, "she about took out the main healing halls her second or third day here I think…"

Nikki nodded, "No she doesn't but as a child I was to damn stubborn for my own good and wouldn't leave her be. She took me finally under her wing teaching me about things that well our mother actually had forbidden her to knowing that as the oldest of the three of us it was important for me to know considering we didn't know if my elder twin siblings were even alive. It just made us closer than she was with the other two. Then when we were sent away I think it actually hurt her some since she was so use to having us around."

Elladan nodded and Nikki could almost see the quick mind turning those details over and eyed her carefully after a moment, "I know a few places we can look for Raina – places she often haunts and with last evening being MidSpring here, she is likely to not be easily found that we learned the hard way."

Nikki nodded, "I hope we find her soon cause I've got several questions for her and as I said I might find her just as fast if I tag her mentally that is if she's listening." She paused as her stomach gave a loud growl protesting the fact that she hadn't eaten in a while.

This brought a loud laugh from the elf's lips as he shook his head, "Now that is familiar enough as for your suggestion I'm all for it and while you do that can you walk or do we have to be statues here in the way?"

Nikki shook her head, "No I can walk. Where are we going?" Nikki followed Elladan as they made their descent into Rivendell.

"First and foremost, when in doubt I check the kitchens that woman eats more than a dwarf I'll swear to it," Elladan said easily though he had a niggling suspicion that it would be awhile before they did find the high-strung woman.

Nikki nodded hearing the elf's thoughts plainly, "That sounds about right for Raina. I swear when she's stressed even a bit or upset enough to want to blow something up she eats more than Rocky. Shall we keep going?" Nikki let her mind relax and begin to stretch out calling softly at first for her sister, _'Sis please answer, its Nikki and I'm with some strange Elf named Elladan in Rivendell.'_

Raina's voice was sleepy and almost dazed as she answered Nikki, her disbelief apparent, '_You're what? With Elladan um where? Huh?'_

_ "I'm in Rivendell with some elf named Elladan and trying first to figure out how the hell I got here and how to get you and I out of here. Where are you sis? We're heading toward I think he said kitchens wherever that is." Nikki was just glad to get an answer._

_ 'First that 'some elf' is Elrond's son. How me and now you are here hell if I know. And the kitchens. Get a bite to eat I'm ... well I'm not going anywhere at the moment.'_

_ Nikki sighed, 'At least come find me as soon as you can please this elf gives me the creeps some he's too damn happy most of the time.'_

_ 'That just means he got laid relax he's harmless mostly just don't piss him off. As for finding you, well like I said that might be a bit since I am not in a state to go anywhere.'_

Nikki choked back the laugh_, 'Okay just hurry and save me besides I've got to tell you something before I wake up from this weird ass dream.' _Nikki smiled at Elladan, "No worries I've got a hold of her though I'm not telling you what we talked about so don't ask." She'd seen the curiosity in his face shrink back, "She said you were harmless though and that I should eat something so I guess I'm your guest till sis makes her appearance unless you're too busy that is?"

"I have time that I can spare to keep you company and out of too much mischief in the mean time, did she say why she wouldn't be appearing by chance?" he asked cautiously as he ushered Nikki into one of the largest kitchens she had ever seen. There weren't the appliances she was used to but there were cooks and servants everywhere taking care of the fires and pulling out breads that smelled this side of heaven and he eyed her curiously, "Take what you want and don't worry about the cost, we regularly have more than just what can be eaten in a day so it goes to those who can't afford to buy."

Nikki looked around stunned by what she was seeing and finally grabbed a small hunk of bread that was nearby, "No she never did say why but I'm not surprised considering its Raina we're talking about. Are you sure that your cooks are going to mind?" Her nose were on a smell that brought back the time that Sam had made venison stew for her. It made her mouth water and she hoped to snag whatever made that smell.

Elladan laughed, "They complained to my father at first when Raina came because she could eat more than most of the guards and for such a slip of a thing it baffled them," he paused as one of the cooks, nearly Elladan's height pointed a wooden spoon he shifted gears and Nikki could guess that he was explaining who she was and the cook nodded, relaxing and replied something gesturing toward Nikki once. "Sorry, and I've been asked to express that you're to take what you like, and some to go so that he doesn't have to worry over you making the evening meal more difficult."

Nikki nodded, "I'd like some of that stew if I could get some and trust me I won't make the evening meal more difficult I try to stay out of the way at all cost. She picked up a handful of berries and slowly chewed through one realizing that the fruit was a cherry and sweeter than any she'd ever had.

Almost before Elladan had finished the request a bowl of medium size and a spoon were placed before her causing him to continue the fluid quick speech and gave Nikki a chance to poke her sister again if she wanted to beginning several roving conversations while Nikki ate.

'Sis are you okay? You sound tired.' Nikki poked again hoping she wasn't interrupting.

'Define _okay,' _Raina's voice was tired as Nikki frowned to herself trying to eat_, 'And I am tired, I don't actually know when I fell asleep last night or if I actually did,'_ Nikki could hear the confusion and almost feel it as if Raina were in the room.

_'Okay would be you're alive and talking to me I guess.' Nikki paused at the cook looked at Elladan then pointed at her saying something, 'Damn now why weren't we taught to speak elvish in school cause I think I might have just got insulted.'_

_ 'Cause it wasn't necessary,' _Raina replied and this time Nikki could see the smile in her voice, _'I wouldn't worry about the cooks they complain a lot but that seems to be in their nature.'_

_'I hope so cause he looks pissed about me for some reason. I guess I'll ask Elladan to show me around. Will you be up to company in a little bit sis?'_

_'At some point yeah, I will be, assuming I can ever get a few things sorted out like where a few things of mine went…_' there was both amusement and an overlay of something suspiciously like mortification in the emotional tone to the words.

_'Okay I'm not going to ask about that but hopefully we'll meet up somewhere soon just tag me when you're ready sis.'_ Nikki finished her meal watching as Elladan sat across from her. "So what was all that about with the cook earlier he looked pissed at me about something."

"Nothing to worry about he's just grumpy to have a touch of extra dishes to have cleaned before he can go home to his family but that's normal around here. Did you enjoy your chat with your sister or is she still playing hide and go seek?"

Nikki smiled tentatively, "It was a good conversation. Look if he wants to go on and go I can clean up my own dishes. I'm a mom so it doesn't bother me doing dishes."

Elladan shook his head and pointed her to where there was a stack of dishes already in progress by another elf, "Just make sure your bowl gets put in his stack over there and when you're ready I want to see what my father can make of our newest arrival, and I hope the last…."

Nikki nodded going over and putting the bowl in the pile ducking her head at the glare before returning to Elladan, "I'm ready when you are but I do have a question before we leave. How do you say thank you in your language?"

He looked vaguely surprised for a moment and then spoke the words slowly so that she could hear the subtle inflection to them, "'Hannon le,' is my thanks which is what you wish to express."

She nodded turning to catch the cook pausing to catch a breath, "Hannon le," she said slowly before turning back to Elladan to see if she'd pronounced the words correctly.

It had obviously made some amends and she was surprised to find herself presented with a small basket and a rapid direction aimed at Elladan, who explained, 'he says that in trade for yoru thoughtfulness he offers a basket to nibble from as the evening meal will not be until an hour after sunset and small bodies eat often." He said smiling and leaned closer to whisper, "I suggest we vacate and give him his kitchen before he gets grumpy again."

Nikki nodded taking the basket and nodding at the cook before following Elladan from the kitchen, "So where are we off to now?" She peeked in finding some of the berries she'd been nibbling on as well as some bread and some type of cheese and something to drink in a weird container.

"It's a flask," he explained reaching to take out the small container and opened it so she could see how, "And we are going to stop by my father's study to see if he decided to get up today or not, which actually is rather strange since my brother was in the healing wing earlier before I stumbled into you and said he hadn't been in today."

Nikki nodded taking the container from him and sniffing before putting it back in the basket, "I take it your father's not usually missing from his job like that?"

Elladan smirked faintly, "Miss his work? Hardly he can barely escape it most of the time so I'm actually rather impressed if he's stayed out of sight and off the radar for this long, I just hope its for a better reason than the violent headache he had like after the last spring festival that wasn't pleasant for anyone, healers are terrible patients."

Nikki nodded following, "So how far are we from his um study and what happens if he's not in there?" Nikki was starting to feel the tension again and wonder if this whole place was going to end up giving her a migraine before this was over.

Elladan had stopped walking and rapped his knuckles on the closed door and blinked when the door opened and revealed someone that was most definitely not his father, but one of his closest advisors who ushered them inside, "I am assuming you were looking for Lord Elrond, Elladan?" the elf asked glancing at Nikki and spoke in faintly accented common.

"Actually I was, I wanted to introduce one of Raina's siblings and see if together they might figure out why we seem to be inheriting members of one family and how to get them home again."

The elf, Nikki saw had long dark hair and what looked like tanned skin as he frowned slightly, "I haven't seen him since sometime last evening I have been more or less keeping the day to day matters handled, and letting the things that don't require an immediate answer sit until he crawls out from his hiding place, he has every bit as much right to hide as we do from time to time." Nikki could read the concern in the elf's features and body language clearly this was not normal behavior for the referenced elf.

"Okay, well if you see him before I do let him know I'm going to show Nikki to one of the gardens and see if I can unearth him before dinner at least I'm hoping he comes to dinner tonight."

"Certainly, Elladan." The elf said gesturing for them to leave so that he could continue the ever-present business of keeping a city moving.


	11. Chapter 11

Elrond entered the room quietly and smiled, "I see you are awake are you hungry?" He smiled sitting down gently on the bed beside Raina.

"Coffee," I answered immediately as my stomach growled in protest of my lack of acknowledging my hunger, "And how long was I asleep? And more importantly did I say anything?" I was vaguely aware of talking to my sister and I wasn't actually sure that it was a dream or real or dream-real or whatever.

Elrond held out a steaming cup of coffee to me, "You've been asleep for almost nine hours. I never once heard a word from you till before I noticed you waking then you grumbled something about go away as I was leaving to retrieve some food and drink for us both. Why did you ask?" He tilted his head curiously wishing she'd share what was plaguing her since their encounter.

"I dreamed, I think, I was talking to one of my sisters and well Nikki can be a handful and something about Elladan I think or something." I shook my head and took a mind-clearing pull from the mug grateful that at least the steaming liquid burned away some of the fog but it didn't actually settle my jangled nerves and silently cursed myself because while I could block within some reason most of the elves, Elrond was another story. Even if I tried, his own ability would over-ride what I could manage and sighed quietly not really ready to start picking at the weird knot in my insides. "Thank you for the coffee at least the rest of your city will be safe when I venture out of this room."

Elrond smiled, "I'm sure that even if it wasn't a dream that she's in capable hands though it would surprise me if she were here. You must miss your sister very much." He paused looking at me as my eyes went vacant for a moment.

_'Holy shit sis there's two of them when are you coming to rescue me!'_ Nikki's mental voice rang out loud enough for even Elrond to hear causing him to wince.

Despite the complete and total inappropriateness of the response I began laughing both aloud and to Nikki nearly spilling my coffee in the process as I realized that Elrond was completely baffled but rescuing my mug nonetheless, and left me rendered unable to respond appropriately calmly to either of them for several minutes, _'Why would I rescue you from about the safest hands in the city with the exception of their father?'_ I asked before looking at Elrond who I realized was trying to figure out what was going on and winced myself realizing that he had heard too, _'Um way to go there, Nikki I think you just bamboozled Elrond's ears thank you.'_ I managed finally between giggles as I only just realized that his gaze mirrored mine nearly exactly as he tried to follow what had me in near hysterical giggles.

_'Oops sorry about that sis it's just I met Elladan's twin brother and he surprised me. By the way they're looking for their father both of them and some dark haired advisor was worried too.'_ Nikki sent back as she sat back down to eat her berries.

"Um, your sons just scared the hell out of my sister? And ah your children are looking for you." I said reaching for my mug and had it returned to me as he sighed deeply. And I was avoiding answering Nikki cause nothing I was able to think of would allow me not to tell how and why I would know the privileged information.

Elrond nodded, "So how is it that you know my sons scared your, ah sister to death and that they are looking for me?"

"That really loud scream that I happen to know you heard because you winced? Yeah that was one of my sisters, and she said as much so is your advisor apparently you've been babysitting me today?" I answered deciding that I wasn't about to tell him that Nikki and I had been talking off and on since she had apparently come into range for it.

"All right," Elrond answered diplomatically though it was obvious that he wasn't quite sure that he believed me but chose instead to split a roll in his fingers and offered me half. And he was just about to say something when my gaze shifted to the same vacant expression as before though he were more prepared this time and I jumped nearly spilling my mug yet again on myself in surprise.

_'Because you're my sister and you love me!'_ there was an overlay of upset in Nikki's voice and I realized only then that a third 'voice' had linked in and shifted gears slightly though I wouldn't be the first one to speak.

_'I trust they have done nothing to truly offend you?'_ Elrond's voice was as calm as a deep lake as he intruded and I clapped my hands over my ears hearing Nikki's shriek.

_'What the hell is going on here I was talking to Raina and now your nosy ass gets in the middle!'_

_ 'Nichole,'_ I placed impatience and warning into my inflection of her name, _'Cut it out, you're embarrassing not only yourself but me. What do you want besides me to materialize behind you and smack you?'_

_'For you to come rescue me from these two nuts, they're nuttier than fruitcakes!'_ I could hear her reaction and smirked to myself finding a plausible way around explaining everything to my kid sister.

_'I don't know about Lord Elrond's status but I'm a bit tangled up in some business of my own until close to dinner.'_ I said smoothly knowing that he was able to hear because I had ensured he would,_ 'So I will see you then, and don't kill the nuts they're potentially useful.'_

_ 'Potentially useful my butt! They're annoying, too-happy and up to something I'm sure of it.'_

_'If I thought you would have any problems with the twins, I assure you I would tell you now skedaddle before you learn more information than you ever wanted!'_ I said firmly ending the conversation with Nikki and focused on the amused eyes of the elven-lord.

"Quite the discussion I heard," Elrond said calmly watching me for a few moments as I leaned back into the pillows closing my eyes against the light headache Nikki's shouting had given me.

"Yeah, she's quite something… what that something is, Elrond I'm still trying to figure out but her heart has always been in the right place though her delivery and follow through are sometimes lacking in tact." I didn't have to see him to know he'd moved to sit closer to me, and felt the hand brush over my forehead lightly brushing sticking wisps of hair away from my face.

He laughed quietly, "So is there something you wish to discuss that keeps you from your sister and her rescue from my sons?" he brushed his hand along my cheek slowly.

"Want to about like I wanna pull my eyelashes out, but eventually haveta, but there's this small matter of clothing, elves have a twisted humor I realized in the last months here but not even a village idiot isn't going to ask why I've only got on yesterday's clothes today."

Elrond laughed and pointed to the chair beside the chamber leading to his bath area, "I've already gotten you some new clothes. Go bathe and then we'll find your sister and see what trouble my sons have already gotten her into shall we kitten?" he kissed lightly on my cheek and to my earlobe before getting up and heading towards a desk.

{"Smartass,"} I muttered in my native tongue climbing out of the bed and only as my feet his the floor did I catch the nickname, one hand on the pile of clothing about to say something else and instead just shook my head and grabbed them, vanishing into the bathing room for awhile.

Nikki sat watching the twins as they conversed in elvish, "You know if what you're talking about is important I'm sure I can't get into trouble just sitting here." She was nervously picking at the bread.

"Not so important that we'd leave a guest stranded there's no telling when Raina's going to appear if she does before dinner. And no, that's not uncommon around here even if for the most part she stays in the borders where we have guards that can help watch for trouble." Elladan answered easily though Nikki could tell that he was growing concerned about something the two weren't talking about.

Nikki eyed the two of them and quirked one eyebrow, "News flash, we were born at night, it wasn't last night so why don't you two back up try again and tell someone who can't twinspeak."

"Wait, what?" the other twin – Elrohir, Nikki thought it was sat up suddenly from the boneless sprawl on the bench almost quickly enough to unseat himself, "Did you say we?"

"Clean your ears elf-boy, I said we," She was interrupted by Elladan's laugh.

"Oh boy here we go again with that," he looked to his brother, "We're in for a long day till she gets here."

"I said nothing about your brother, I said polite company neither of you two qualify."

{Nikki, be nice and play nice.} Raina's voice interrupted whatever the twins were about to say with a slight smirk, "I trust you three haven't gotten to the mangling each other stage without me?"

{I was being nice, otherwise I'd call 'em dumb and dumber."} Nikki turned to find me standing in the clearing folding my arms over my chest.

I realized that we had lapsed into Phaedosean as we so often did and chuckled, "Now let's all be nice. Which means you two get to get lost cause I think you were needed to do an errand for Erestor."

Nikki waited until the two had vanished and looked intently at me, "And what have you been up to that has you with that look that says 'I don't know about this'?"

I gave a faint smirk and closed the distance between us so that I could lower my voice trying to find the best way to say what was on my mind, "Well you could say I learned a few things about myself." I decided was about the safest answer I could give to that question.

Nikki looked puzzled for a moment as if I were speaking a foreign language, "And just what did we learn then that has you not answering me?"

I decided quickly to only partially answer that question and that by doing something I hadn't done to someone since before the Shattering, I promptly beeped her nose and waited for the shock and realization that neither of us were writhing on the ground in pain.

Surprise, shock and laugher flashed in about three seconds across Nikki's face before she erupted in a fit of giggles to rival my recent fit, "You're really not going to tell me are you?"

"Mmm, no." I decided knowing that as turned around backward about it there some things you just didn't tell your kid sister and what I had done was one of them.

Nikki began putting pieces together as I had guessed she was going to and I could almost see her quick mind turning over the pieces she did have, ", "Have we been being naughty with someone important big sister?" the grin was the telltale sign thought that she had guessed right.

"Define your meaning there Nikki cause that can mean anything from dumping water on someone's head to something far less innocent." I said evasively hearing a hissed and rapid elvish conversation slightly to our left.

"You know what I meant by being naughty and I seriously doubt you're up to pranks dear sister." Nikki answered turning to look at where the conversation was.

I cocked my head to one side and finally nodded more than a little relieved that our entire conversation so far had been in our native tongue rather than the common one that the elves would have understood, {"Yeah you could say something happened, and its got me running circles in my own head dangerous as that is.}

Nikki just nodded, "Hmm well that's your business big sister." She dropped the subject with a small chuckle, knowing too well pushing would get me running.

I felt vaguely relieved at her dropping it particularly when I heard the quiet rebuke from a familiar voice and the sound of footsteps heading the other direction before Elrond stepped into the glade seemingly benignly, "Ah I see you didn't have much trouble in finding your sister?"

"Not hard to find Nikki," I answered switching gears in my head to speak in the common tongue, "Just follow the line of trouble!"

Nikki nodded and smiled at Elrond tentatively, "So going to introduce me sis or am I going to guess who he is?" Her playful mood was back.

I gave my sister a dirty look as I knew this was a ploy to get my emotions to bounce off him then me to her again and gave an exaggerated sigh, "Nikki, Elrond, Elrond my brattiest sister." I introduced them bluntly trying not to give away anything even though of the lot of them Nikki was the most likely to put it together.

Nikki smiled not giving anything way, "I'd say nice to meet you unfortunately I'm still trying to figure out how I got here as well as figure out how to get me and sis home."

"Almost a year and I'm still working with Raina for the same task," he answered agreeably taking a seat behind me which caused an instinctive tensing of my shoulders as I watched Nikki carefully.

"All I know is we can't stay here, we both have lives of our own." She answered carefully which for Nikki was unusual. "And it will have to take some planning I think."

"I would not like to keep anyone somewhere when they are needed elsewhere; the real trick will be getting you both back to where you are from." He mused thoughtfully considering the options before directing his question at Nikki, "I know Raina was shipwrecked when she came here by whatever means it was, what of you? Do you remember anything?"

Nikki shook her head, "One minute I was sitting resting the next I'm laying in woods. You know I would have said I was dreaming but man this all seems so weird."

"It is definitely interesting," he agreed thoughtfully, "And if you are just resting actually is it possible you will get yourself home?"

Nikki shrugged, "It's a possibility that I might but what's to say I don't end back here when I fall asleep again." Nikki wasn't saying something and I knew there was more to that than just her resting.

I frowned slightly and narrowed my eyes at her, "You're a pretty crap hider Nikki what aren't you telling me – we both know if it's gonna piss me off it'd be better to do it once than twice."

Nikki shook her head, "Raina I'd rather not have that conversation right now please."

I narrowed my eyes and decided that because Nikki had been that direct I would let it go and then looked between the two carefully deciding what to do about the whole situation, more than a little convinced that Nikki wasn't telling me everything and I was probably not going to like the answer.


	12. Chapter 12

Tommy walked into the hospital room and sucked in a deep breath, Nikki was soundly sleeping and something felt wrong but he couldn't place it since it wasn't the obvious dream world messes that he had to occasionally help his wife and her sisters with, but something was wrong and he sat down beside Nikki on the other chair covering her with the blanket that had fallen and silently hoped that whatever was going on was on the up and up since like so many he was powerless to do anything.

After about thirty minutes or so Destiny came into the room and gasped softly more acutely aware of the situation as the doctor followed her in she spun around and signaled for the doctor to be quiet that Nikki was sleeping and didn't need to be awakened just then.

"How long has she been asleep?" Destiny whispered looking at Tommy.

"Couple hours maybe," he glanced at the portable player and noted that it had turned itself off due to inactivity, "Should we wake her or let it be?" he answered watching the doctor with the same wariness that his wife had.

Destiny shook her head, "No let her sleep. We've had more sleep than she has." Destiny answered giving Tommy a pointed look as she watched the doctor as well.

He nodded and positioned himself between the twins and the doctor folding his arms across his chest to glare slightly at the man, "Are you coming to report on condition or are you going to make the same tired demand masked as a suggestion." He stated by then past the point of asking this doctor anything.

The doctor shook his head, "I'm here only to make my last round for your sister in law as your sister found a new doctor who should be in very soon." The doctor finished his observation then wrote something on his charts.

"Don't sound so enthusiastic about it," Destiny said in a quiet hiss, "Get the chart in the hall and get going."

The doctor glared at her but finished his writing and turned to leave, "I'd suggest not hoping for much she still may not survive even with a new doctor." He walked to the door opening it only to find Skylar standing there.

The expression to her face was neutral but there was ice in her voice, "Your optimism is inspiring, now please leave so I may consult your notes and the test results myself."

The doctor nodded handing her the chart, "As you wish everything I've done is in her chart Dr. Ulrich and good luck." The doctor muttered handing her the chart and leaving.

"I don't need luck," Skylar said to the door as it closed, "I just need to be smarter than you."

Destiny went over and hugged her Aunt, "Am I glad to see you. I should have known when in doubt Nikki would have called you." her voice was low but the relief was plain in it.

"Well, who else was she going to call when shit was just going funny medically, explain to me what you know Destiny while Nikki – sleeps." She decided was the best word for it even though she strongly suspected something, even something fairly benevolent was going on.

Destiny nodded and began telling her about the boat crash and what they'd learn, "All in all they say her brain is active but her body isn't reacting to anything." she finally finished.

Skylar was thoughtful, pensive even as she settled to read the reports and even the various test results and scans that had been done and frowned slightly, "Something just doesn't add up, if you look here the levels are normal but there's no response I would almost wonder if its not a subconscious willful act or something of the sort."

Destiny tilted her head slightly, "You mean it's possible she intentionally put herself into the coma?" she asked cautiously.

"Put herself in, no I don't think so but perhaps there is something that is causing her to have to stay whether by need or by choice." Skylar said gently again smiling softly, "But you two are right, she just needs time to have everything return to her version of normal."

"So how do we keep these people from trying to take her off this stuff till she's ready to come back?" Tommy asked looking over at first Raina then Nikki as she shifted slightly then went back to sleep.

"Family's wishes come before medical opinion," Skylar answered and smirked faintly watching him quietly for a moment, "And this family clearly wishes to wait despite seemingly impossible odds and that I find admirable."

Tommy smiled, "In other words as not only their doctor but Aunt if the girls want her kept like she is you'll beat heads to make it happen?" He smiled brightly at her.

"If necessary I can and I will," Skylar confirmed with a small chuckle, "I've seen that woman do more impossible than come out of a coma, I just wish I knew why she was still in it."

Tommy nodded, "We've all seen that woman come out of stuff she shouldn't have. The question is how long is she going to be under?"

"I couldn't say if I wanted to, Tommy and believe me I want to," Skylar said with a hint of worry as her gaze flickered to Nikki "But I'd be willing to bet Nikki may have some answers when she wakes up."

Everyone turned toward where Nikki was sleeping, "Should we try waking Nikki then Aunt Skylar?" Destiny's question seemed to show her concern fully even if she didn't say all of it a loud.

"Not yet," Skylar shook her head, "She's not in any distress so it wouldn't necessarily be good to wake her but we should try to have someone stay close until she wakes."

"I'll take the first watch. Destiny why don't you go get some rest while you can." Tommy answered looking for Skylar to give the okay for him to hang around.

"Come on, let's go find Jason and let Tommy take the first run, he's going to anyway." Skykar said smiling at Tommy patiently.

Destiny nodded giving Tommy a hug, "Call me if she wakes up soon Tommy and I don't care what damn time it is either." she stated picking up her jacket as she and Skylar walked to the door.

I walked to Nikki's door and knocked on it and waited until I heard the call from within, "Come in, its open." I stepped inside to find her sitting at the vanity brushing out her hair and cocked my head as I closed the door watching her intently for a moment.

"Now would you care to tell me what you didn't want to say in front of the elves?"

Nikki turned confused for a moment, "What are you talking about sis. I told you everything I could. I'm not sure how I was transported here or how you got here for the moment."

"Yeah and I'm the dancing queen," I retorted sarcastically, "Try again what didn't you tell me before." I pressed knowing full well there was something more that had Nikki so worried.

Nikki sighed, "Raina I-I can't I do that you and start to worry or tell me to do something stupid." She was almost bent over but I could easily see her shoulders shake and knew she was crying.

I sighed quietly and reached to put my hand on her shoulder gently, "Look, I'd like to know what's going on simply because I know this isn't my home – and frankly I'm worried what my prolonged presence might mean for this place – or home." I answered, "All I know is there's nothing to make heads or tails of it yet and if you know something I need to know."

Nikki wiped her eyes, "Raina back home you-you're in a coma. They found you and what was left of your ship. Destiny and I are with you as is Tommy and Jason. I called Aunt Skylar cause the doctor that was taking care of you wanted to take you off everything. He said you would never wake up and it was useless." She hugged me lightly finally backing up enough to give us both our space.

I reeled for a moment and didn't bother hiding it before my senses kicked back into gear. What she said made sense, and that would explain a lot about why some responses were a little weird currently and I knew one thing I wasn't dead and my mind was in mostly working order no different than usual, "Okay, then time to figure out how the hell to get home," I felt a pang of something I didn't want to think about and shoved the wriggle of a thought away before she could find the thread, "And I am betting then you are dreaming, little sister I want you to wake up and remember I just need time and you to be at your top form."

Nikki's eyes widened, "Sis no! I want to stay here a little longer. I'm worried about you but what if when I fall asleep I don't find my way back here to check on you. I can't leave you please not just yet."

"Soon," I insisted firmly smiling faintly as I had missed her, "Not immediately but I need you to help the others keep the doctors from stupidities such as telling you I'm not going to wake up cause I'm going to but I don't know how."

Nikki nodded, "That's why I called Aunt Skylar and told her about everything. She said she'd make sure you didn't lose any time getting yourself awake. I fell asleep before she arrived but Destiny and Tommy were due in to check on both of us soon." Her words were lost with a firm knock at her door as a servant put their head in and announced dinner.

I growled to myself and frowned as I gestured for Nikki to get up and walk with me as well, "You have to go back basically the way you came, your path will be easier and probably in a day maybe two all we need is King figuring out you're dreaming in my head."

Nikki nodded, "That's what I'm hoping that he's not figuring out. So should I try to get back to the place Elladan found me or just try for rest here and hope that it lets me wake up where I'm supposed to?" We continued our walk noticing up a head the end of our journey and there waiting by the doors was Elrond and his advisor Erestor.

"I'm not sure," I answered thoughtfully though I had slid my guard up a bit more seeing Elrond and Erestor both, they were damnably perceptive and both of them were more intelligent than to buy my more lame excuses, "Follow your instinct I guess."

Nikki nodded catching my hints of a guard against the two people before us, "Are you going to tell Elrond what I've told you sis? He might know how to help?" She slipped into our native tongue and let her own guard go up.

["Not at dinner, and maybe not later either."] I answered as we drew nearer, poking her to remind her that she didn't need to be as guarded as I was and moved to slip around the elves.

"Good evening ladies. I take it you two are having a nice visit." Elrond greeted as Erestor nodded his head at both of us in a greeting.

"It has been a nice surprise," I answered evenly controlling my reaction to the question carefully watching him for a moment, "I'm going to have Nikki sit with me so that I can at least help her point not get lost in translation." _And I can ignore you with the distraction to boot, bonus._ I thought to myself silently.

Elrond nodded, "Then you both should sit close by since few around here can speak in common tongue. Come dinner is waiting on us." He motioned us forward and I took the lead taking Nikki down the table a ways so that we could still hear everything yet have semi privacy.

_Yippee,_ I thought to myself as my plan was foiled rather politely by the name plates that were by some of the plates and sighed taking mine as Nikki took the one nearest me as I realized that somehow my seat was only two down from Elrond which was in my opinion too damn close though I didn't think that was appropriate to be rude about, as well it would arouse suspicion.

"So enjoying ourselves or has your sister gotten to scaring the rest of the household with her wonder shouts of surprise," A familiar voice asked the mirror to that voice laughed.

I rolled my eyes and eyed the twins, "No more scaring than you two do on a regular basis with the terror you wreak before your feet hit the floor in the mornings."

Elrohir stopped laughing, "It's just your sister's reactions are funny to watch though her mouth does tend to get her into trouble some I noticed." As Nikki rolled her eyes.

"Keep it up elf-boy and you're on my list of beating the snot out of next after I find out who that servant was that tried coming into the room you two set me in and kicking me out." Nikki smiled but her eyes flashed at him.

"Nikki play nice," I ordered in a silent undertone as my words were all but drowned out by the sharper rebuke from my left.

"You two will behave in an acceptable fashion during Nikki's visit or I'm sure I can find something for you two to keep you busy enough that you won't have time to conjure trouble to set upon innocent people." Elrond's tone was laced with irritation and warning and projected a subtle anger that you didn't have to be an empath to pick up on.

Nikki coughed to stifle the giggle, "Sorry about that Elrond I think I started that with them." She turned to me, "I'm really trying to behave myself but its so hard with those two around causing trouble." We all turned as the door opened to admit a human.

He was a tall man, somewhere in the vicinity of six feet tall and had longish, straggly dark hair and piercing light blue eyes that scanned the room before falling on and his attention focused on Elrond. "My apologies for abruptly appearing, Lord Elrond I was near enough to Rivendell to seek the refuge of my rooms here." He said with an easy, respectful bow toward the elf.

"And the baths one would hope," Elrond answered mildly as I saw that the man, and his garments were coated in places with mud and general road filth.

"As is your wish," the man answered taking the empty seat near Elrohir who nudged him slightly and I could see his lips moving in a nearly silent murmur but I was too far to hear.

"I do," Elrond answered interrupting the silent conversation with a quiet, but firm tone, "Raina, Nikki this is my adopted son, he came to us as a young child when his father was killed, and his mother sought refuge here before her passing a few years ago." He explained looking at Nikki and I.

"My apologies then," he answered evenly, "I did not intend to be rude."

Elrond waved him off the topic and the dinner conversation wandered around as the main portion of the meal drifted toward the dessert period and I tried to follow the many conversations and distract myself from the sometimes oppressive feel of so many in one space. I must've drifted into my thoughts because Elrond's hand shaking mine jolted me out of my seat and to my feet nearly toppling it as Nikki jumped to stop the chair and me, missing my shoulder as I spun away taking a deep breath to stop the tilting panic.

I heard everything atop the blood rushing through my ears in a thrumming drumbeat that matched my heart rate – the chairs moving and the startled cry out of several of the elves less used to the effect of an empath and I found myself pressed to control it and my runaway heart rate at the same time and couldn't while my lungs refused to work as I heard the voices both too near and too far as I tried to evade anyone drawing too close when I couldn't even make my body obey what I wished it to. "No, can't breathe, space please." I muttered backing up nearly into a wall and losing my balance with the move.

"Easy little one let's get you out of here," Elrond said gently taking my arm and leading me from the room and out into a garden. I barely heard Nikki's quiet sob of worry as the doors closed.

I jerked free and stumbled as my lungs refused to work stubbornly as I found a bench and sat down gripping the edge of it with my hands so hard if I had been fully aware of myself the grip would have hurt, shuddering and by then my vision was blurry though I didn't realize it was from the tears that were falling.

Grey eyes swam in front of my vision and that dizzily as I found myself hearing the softer murmured words I recognized as elvish but not the words the effect was more obvious my breathing slowed and the racing pace my heart had been spurred to, wound down to a more manageable pace as I felt myself partly collapse if not for the close death grip I had on the bench I'd have fallen back to the ground. "Easy, you're all right." I heard the words more clearly as a fingertip raised my chin to look up at him "I apologize, I managed to lose track of your aversion to such large gatherings…"

"Shit happens," I murmured dizzily by then as his second hand held onto my shoulder to steady me, "I'll be fine in a little while."

"That's later, that doesn't take care of now." He answered softly, and this time I could not only hear the concern but felt it and tried not to resist too much when he sat down and pulled my back to rest against his side even if my hands batted at his.

"Aren't we a master of the obvious," I muttered as his hand wrapped around my side completely innocently.

"Only sometimes," he answered as the garden door opened and Nikki half-flew at us and was stopped short by Elrond's upraised hand skidding in the grass. "Careful, she's not all the way steady yet but everything is going to be fine in a little while."

Nikki turned to look at me, "Sis?" She asked watching me carefully kneeling down close to me watching closely.

I reached with a hand to press a fingertip to her lips to keep her silent, drained beyond belief letting my eyes close partially so that I could barely see her for a moment before forcing them open, "Haven't had one in a dozen years or more," I whispered, "Long enough ago to have forgotten how bad they can be."

Nikki only nodded lowering her head and letting the tears drip down onto the ground below, "I think it's time for us to get some rest then sis." She finally muttered lowly as I realized she knew it was time for her to return and make sure no one was messing with me in reality.

Of the elves I knew the one I expected to keep my confidences close was Elrond as I nodded once, "I will rest I expect soon and I doubt we will meet again until I am home," I paused shivering gently once as I watched her tears, "No tears little wild one, we'll meet on the other side when I get the wires uncrossed. Get me my time, and you will see."

Nikki lifted her head and smiled slightly, "You'll have your time sis if I have to beat doctors. I think I'll go lay down now I'm sure by now everyone's getting worried about the time I've been out."

I nodded and sighed with a second stronger shiver, ["I figure that I'm going to get tucked into a bed whether I want to or not by Mr. Bossy-Pants pretty soon."]

Nikki chuckled, "I think so sis. Well good night." She hugged me slipping into Phaedosian, "I miss you sis very much." She let go and turned walking back through the doors after nodding toward Elrond.

"I don't like sending her back, but I know I need to, she's always been the more…. Brassy of the kids," I smiled faintly, feeling myself drifting a bit lured by the quiet presence and the warmth, "But that sometimes can be useful such as when you want other people to bugger off."

He chuckled once and for a few minutes I was aware of only the night-sounds until the footfalls entered the equation and I heard the conversation lapse into a rapid dialect of elvish I couldn't keep up with but their tones and body language were clear, this was a family meeting even if I wasn't family.

I could feel the undercurrent of agitation at whatever had been said as well the rebuke was in his voice as I felt myself sliding into blissful and welcome unknowingness of sleep aware as a last thing of someone lifting me up causing me to curl into the softer warmth for pleasant comfort before oblivion took me.


	13. Chapter 13

A quiet knock on the door drew Elrond's attention out of the book he was reading and prompted him to set it aside to open the door, "Erestor, this is a surprise." He said quietly, keeping his voice low owing to the fact that not many yards away Raina slept, and hopefully a few hours more.

"May I come in?" the advisor inquired gently well aware that Elrond was supervising the strange woman's recovery after the even stranger episode a few hours before, "I hoped to have this discussion in a more quiet moment but now seems to be as good as any time."

Elrond sighed quietly and moved to open the door wider to let his longtime friend pass through, "And of what did you need to speak to me?"

Erestor sighed, "Elrond it seems that there is something going on that seems to be bothering you and I wonder if it wouldn't be prudent that we know in case of something worse coming to visit."

"The only 'worse' I foresee in the near future would be Thranduil crawling out of his cavern home and coming here to have another royal fit over some poor serving-girl not pouring the wine fast enough so you'll have to clarify." Elrond answered moving to take a seat wordlessly offering the same in an effort to keep their voices lower.

"The whole city's abuzz with your probable intimacies with Lady Raina but it seems that there is something that you and she know about her sister Nichole that might cause something worse to come soon and I do not mean Thrandruil though it is long overdue for his visit."

Irritation flickered across Elrond's features as Erestor watched his friend's mood darken a brief moment before he took the high road and let the first half of the statement wash by as if it wasn't said at all, "I do not quite know what it would be that this worse might possibly be, Erestor only that there is definitely something strange about the whole mess. Tonight was evidence of such."

Erestor nodded recognizing that Elrond wasn't going to confirm or deny anything not even to him, "The question now is how to send both of them home. Which might be the way to help the situation before it escalates and destroys both ladies and yourself."

Elrond nodded and let himself relax trying to find possible solutions to how this had come to be even possibly, "Raina was certain Nikki was going back the same way she came, but has no understanding – or memory of how she came here. But I do know from their conversation pieces that something is wrong in their world, but I am unsure what."

"Could we possibly ask one of both of the matter in their world and then work to see if we could help here? I know that Nichole is not yet asleep." Erestor questioned the concern written clearly on his face.

Elrond shook his head slightly at Erestor, "Under stress they both speak a tongue I do not recognize, and fluidly and Nikki stays because she is concerned, I do not believe she'd seen Raina lose control like that, or at least not in long enough to have forgotten it." He frowned, 'It is possible there is another force at work and both keep stressing the importance of time."

Erestor nodded, "I hope for both their sakes that this doesn't cause either of them harm. If you will excuse me Lord Elrond I have a few tasks to attend to before I retire myself. Shall I see you tomorrow morning at our breakfast?"

Elrond hesitated before giving an affirmative answer, frowning slightly, "Place it at tentative, I have no idea of what time I will find my own rest after the day's events."

Erestor nodded and took his leave, "Then have a good rest Lord Elrond."

"And you as well, Erestor." Elrond answered rising to close and lock the door behind Erestor closing his eyes a moment and reined in his temper squashing it with years of practice before finding his center again shaking his head as he returned to the book he was only half-reading. _Amazing, everyone else in the city gets a life but me. Ah well such is the way the world turns._

Nikki awoke with a ragged gasped sob tearing free of her chest as she rolled nearly falling off of the chair she had fallen asleep sitting on when Tommy's arms were around her pulling her not only to her feet but to him so that she could see only his features blurrily through her tears, one of the few things that truly upset him. "Nikki, what's wrong you've been asleep for hours?" he asked pushing several sticking strands of hair back away from her eyes.

Nikki coughed finally biting back her tears, "I saw Raina and she's in a place where for the moment she's okay but it was awful she had a panic attack before I left. I'm worried about her and I told her what was going on." Nikki's mutterings were soft.

"Shh," he soothed softly resting his cheek on the top of Nikki's head, "What did she say? And Raina's panic or anxiety is well known among all of us you know that even if it's really rare most of the time, I'm sure everything is going to be fine."

"She told me to give her time here and not worry she was sure the next time I fell asleep I would find her again just make sure the doctors didn't do anything stupid while she was working on the situation there. I think it had to do with something that happened to her and the person in this dream she's with. It's not Reznor or his bunch so it's not a bad place it's just I feel like I abandoned her." Nikki closed her eyes trying to calm herself farther.

"You didn't, not when you were told to get back here and keep things on the level for her where she needed you most." Tommy insisted calmly smiling slightly only too aware of how possessive and protective the siblings tended to be, but the only one who rivaled Raina's near-suicidal protectiveness was Nikki which he betted against himself was why Raina had asked that of her, "If she needed you there I know she'd have told you." Tommy reassured her even though some small part of him wondered if that were true.

Nikki finally nodded, "I know she would have maybe and I know the other reason she sent me back was so I didn't accidently get caught by Reznor and his ding dongs but I still feel bad." She finally glanced at him, "What's got you up here and not at the hotel getting some rest?" She raised one eyebrow at him curiously.

"Didn't think I'd leave you two without someone who could get help no matter what kind of help it was did you?" he smiled slightly, "And she's right you know the last thing she wants or needs is you getting caught – or worse him figuring out she's not all together okay."

Nikki nodded, "So anything interesting happen while I was away?" She glanced around finally grabbing his soda bottle and taking a small swig making a face at the fact it was flat.

"Nothing really special though the neurologist – the new one I mean has been going over the reams of information on the sheets spit out by that machine and is certain you're right on her of course, but does agree that there is a very big chance of brain damage at least on our side of the world," he smiled thinly, "I think they're full of shit but then again they don't know your sister very well."

Nikki nodded smiling, "I take it Aunt Skylar made it in time to stop the idiot from doing something rash. I wouldn't worry about the neurologist thinking brain damage I've seen sis survive worse than this and come out singing a tune and telling the doctors what to do with themselves." She leaned close and kissed Tommy lightly, "Now then think you could maybe find you and I something better than a flat soda to drink and maybe something to eat I think Sis would kill me if I didn't eat here since there I ate till I was almost sick."

"I think that can be arranged, do you have something in mind that you want?" he inquired carefully picking his words and tone pairing it with a smile that was as genuine as she had ever seen it be.

Nikki shook her head, "As long as it makes my stomach quit growling," she paused as her stomach gave a rather large grumble complaint to emphasize the need for food.

Tommy laughed and kissed her cheek before turning to pick up his light windbreaker and headed out of the room, "I'll find something that's not hospital food that stuff's just foul, I do have my phone if you need me." He reminded her on the way out of the room.

Nikki nodded, "I'm not going anywhere unless it's the bathroom babe." She smiled as he closed the door before heading to the bathroom to get herself straightened up and back in order.

A little while later, as Nikki was flipping through Tommy's book the door opened and she was expecting to see him returning with the food she had asked for, but found herself looking at a pensive Skylar, "How are you feeling young lady?" she asked sitting down in the empty chair next to Nikki.

"Hey, Aunt Skylar. I'm feeling better than I was when I woke up just waiting on Tommy to get back so my stomach will stop griping."

"If anyone can find edible food in a five-mile radius it'd be Tommy." Skylar laughed quietly and nudged Nikki's shoulder, "How are you holding up with all this, it's never easy watching the strongest person you know in deep health trouble."

"Not as good as I want to but I'll get there," Nikki admitted reluctantly, "She needs us to keep an eye on things so she can get better I know she can."

"Then that's what you should focus on doing, Nikki." Skylar suggested as Tommy came in with several bags of take-out food and a fresh soda for Nikki. "But for now I'm going to say on doctor's orders to eat, rest and remember nobody's going to make a non-emergency decision without your okay and signature if you need to – and you do – sleep in a bed."

Nikki shook her head, "Someone's got to be here just in case something happens." She disagreed firmly as Tommy sorted out the bags and held out her portion in his hands so that it could be taken from him.

"Fat lot of good you'll do Raina if you're in the next room unwell yourself." Skylar countered gently, "You can always come back early in the day tomorrow and I will call you if anything changes."

"Later," Nikki answered firmly balancing the container of food on her knees, "After probably four or five so that we can eat dinner together?" she asked Tommy who nodded at her.

"That we can do," he answered carefully well aware of how edgy and upset his wife was.

"You are up early today," Erestor commented lightly carrying the tray of tea and small breakfast pastries into the room that was only half affectionately called Elrond's study –it was a large space, and dominated by the large desk that was heaped with various rolled scrolls which Elrond was seated behind, scanning one of them in his hands and only the sound of Erestor's voice had drawn him out of the words.

"I am often up early, Erestor there is nothing unusual about this," Elrond replied briskly as his friend, and longtime advisor pulled his chair nearer in order to better assist in the prioritizing and organizing of the moderate chaos of the desk.

Erestor thanked his own forethought of closing the door to the study as he eyed his friend, "I trust your evening was uneventful?" he inquired offering Elrond one of the pastries smirking as Elrond didn't even have to look up to pluck it out of his fingers and began eating it.

"Very," Elrond answered at length, reaching for one of his quills and ink in order to make notations on the offered end of the parchment roll of his orders and directives for the messenger to return to the sender later, "She slept and I read until I grew tired." He answered with a slight shrug, "Those attacks are exhaustive, Erestor and I doubt anyone will see her unless her stomach overrides her brain's want to rest."

"I'm sure they are," Erestor let the silence fall between them and the familiar pattern of working and talking before speaking again, "She's an interesting little thing, more than half-wild and just as apt to bite the hand offering aid as touch it."

"More so," Elrond answered without looking up, "Erestor, if you've something to say or ask just do so the last I checked your tongue often gained you nothing but trouble."

Erestor had the sense to appear momentarily chastised before both laughed briefly, comfortable in their longstanding friendship, "When I accepted this post, to work side-by-side you, one of my very closest friends I was honored, but more you and your family became the extension both Glorfindel and I needed in a family – you know how far back all our families go and as such, we look out for what we count as our own. But I cannot help you if you continue to lock down when asked even indirectly about matters that do have a farther-reaching effect than they appear to on the surface."

Elrond eyed him and placed the parchment that he had just picked up and returned the concerned gaze with one that would have sent a lesser elf through the floor, "One, I do not answer to you or to anyone else for that matter. Two, I don't go poking at the abyss behind your closed quarters, my friend; and thirdly I'm not even exactly sure what it is that's going on." His tone was clipped, sharp and the faint accent that lilted Elrond's words thickened as temper seeped through the tight grip normally held over it.

"I would think you choose not to simply because the answers would embarrass you more than I," Erestor countered mildly picking up his mug again if only to give his fingers something useful to do, "But that is beside the point. I am not by far questioning your decisions, only trying to understand them so that when I am invariably asked by more … appropriate individuals I can answer with honesty."

Elrond sighed and in the exasperation Erestor heard the mild frustration and sympathized, "It's, complicated." He decided was a safe way to sum it, "I wouldn't call it a relationship in the strictest sense – you call it one of those I've got a pile of gold in my vault that says she'll run like her feet are on fire. – But it's ... something or it could be." He shook his head, "Erestor if I knew the answer to what you're after I would tell you."

"Then let us stick to fact," Erestor answered picking up a parchment roll, giving Elrond the opportunity to do the same familiar with the fact if one didn't appear to be watching the elf as intently he would relax slightly as they talked, "You're interested, she's at least curious – being a lot like a cat I'd say you've gotten her attention and that scares the fire right out of her."

Elrond paused his writing and looked to Erestor after a moment, "This is true as well, I haven't even had the opportunity to speak very long with Raina myself not since MidSpring evening." He answered evenly, "And something is definitely on her mind and she isn't comfortable with sharing almost anything, not even to her sister from what I could pick up."

"Guarded little thing, and wired even without that coffee she insists on," Erestor commented mildly looking at Elrond calmly, "Just what had you both gone most of yesterday?" he asked deciding to try a direct approach betting against himself that habit would garner a more direct answer from Elrond, and promising himself silently he wouldn't push anymore for at least a few hours and let them work in relative peace until them.

"Recovery time," Elrond answered giving a simple answer, "In the literal and figurative senses, Erestor." He finished quirking a brow slightly at his longtime friend, "Shall I give greater detail as to why that was the case?" he inquired a flicker of ire coating his voice in warning.

Erestor returned Elrond's gaze with remarkable steadiness, smiling slightly and shook his head, "We're a bit past the school-lad's phase of our lives my friend and your tale would no more truly interest me than what mine would for you." With that the topic of the strange, tightly-wound young woman appeared to be closed and for that at least one of the two were relieved.


	14. Chapter 14

I awoke to the feeling of fingers in my hair, luring me slowly out of the depths of the welcome darkness of my rest without being jarred free of rest. Blurrily my eyes opened to see the concerned olive-toned features again smiling slightly at me, "Good afternoon," the lightly lilting accent greeted me and I smelled the coffee as my senses began winding up for the day though I couldn't see the source yet. "Sit up," Elrond directed gently reaching toward the night-table and picked up the mug just out of my line of sight showing it to me as I sat up and grappled for it.

I could have hummed with the sheer pleasure of the taste of well-made, and neatly doctored coffee watching the elf over the rim of the mug and smirked lowering it as I shifted my weight for my own comfort's sake. "You know we really ought to stop meeting this way people are only going to fuel rumors with this."

Elrond chuckled, "It's not that the people around here need any fuel but you could be right about that. Did you sleep well?" he quizzed changing the subject.

"Like the living dead," I quipped taking a second mind-clearing sip of the steaming mug, "You didn't spend half the night up like a mother hen did you?"

Elrond shook his head, "I did get the rest I needed don't worry little kitten. I didn't think you'd like knowing that I kept a watch on you again." He smiled and handed me a plate with different fruits and cheese on it.

"Dun' need a keeper," I replied lightly taking the plate with one hand to set it on the blanket watching him for a moment, "Not in a long time actually. But why did you wake me if its lunchtime I could have slept till dinner."

"It's better for you to get up and get around. We wouldn't want anyone to wonder why I keep disappearing every quarter-hour now would we? Besides I figured you'd want to get some practice in since the field is deserted at the moment." His answer was teasing and practical at the same time.

"Couldn't hurt," I had to agree knowing a good workout often cleared the rest of the cobwebs out of my head after a meltdown like the night before, "You have still the important business of running a city to tend to?" I answered getting up reluctantly though taking the plate with me as I did.

"There is always that, I fear." Elrond admitted as I started rummaging through my wardrobe looking for the practice gear I kept stored there, "Nothing so pressing as to keep me away from a break if you wish it after your practice."

_Going for broke on torturing me huh? Two can play that game._ I thought emerging with my gear closing the cabinet, "Sure, that would be great, somewhere somewhat public," I suggested with my best disarming smile heading for the door.

"I'm sure that can be arranged," I heard and felt the uncertainty in the elf's voice and the moderate glee that I felt in regards to that was enough to carry my feet to the salle again.

I was inordinately pleased to find it empty again and began my own circling exercises, first warming up then moving from the very basic skill sets to the more complicated ones only vaguely aware of being watched and that after I stopped moving to look around realizing with the sun glinting through the thin carefully designed windows was lower than it had been before indicating that more than the bare scraps of time that I had expected had passed.

There was silence even among those who had been watching, almost an awed one that would have embarrassed me if not for the fact I recognized that unlike many other cultures, theirs was one that respected those who could – and would fight in defense of self, home or the greater good of the world, and for that I was again thankful. I opted for feigning surprise cocking my head at the nearest one and spoke in steady if slow elvish, "Do I have suddenly a second head for which you stare at me?" I inquired mildly keeping ire out of my tone, opting for curiosity "For if I do, I should like to remove it as soon as possible."

"Nay, milady," the Arms Master interrupted with a smile working his way around the throng of the gathered elves, "Only that your artistry and skill combined with a striking beauty cost them their good sense is all, if you wish about I'm certain I could find a wolf among sheep or your time is your own."

I gave a wicked grin as I picked up my discarded staff leaning lightly on it almost as a habit as I felt my head cock to one side slightly, "Even a mountain cat can eat a wolf if hungry enough, I think I'm going to go sweet-talk the cook out of a few rolls and a bit of butter before tea-time." I decided wandering out of the salle enjoying the surprised reactions behind me as I let the door bounce closed.

I was met outside the kitchens by one of the assistant cooks who was both cross at his interruption and bemused by my presence, "The chef sends his regards and instructions to inform him when you are going to work in the salle so that he might prepare a more fitting meal for you." He said smiling a bit as I began poking into the basket and found myself in possession of a small, but veritable (and welcome!) feast fit for myself and then some.

"Seems everyone conspires against us with the best of intentions," a voice spoke from behind me causing me to spin around interrupting my search for a place to quietly make a dent in the basket's contents in private.

"They say where I am from the road to hell is paved with good intentions," I countered as I silently calculated the odds of this not being a setup, though I did sincerely doubt that he was the one masterminding the setup, that just did not jive with his character.

He smiled faintly and covered the ground between us in two strides, to my four irritatingly enough, "That can be the case as well, come we'll at least indulge their machinations it is the least we can do as they worked so hard even getting the cooks involved." he said reaching to take the basket out of my hands gingerly.

_And it's a few minutes alone, during which time there will be awkward small talk which I suck at and probably both of us dancing around the real issue._ It would be a few minutes before I realized that he had led us to a quieter, more secluded area of the city, less traveled by the looks of the path itself, and I found myself speechless for a few seconds as the realization hit me like a rather large boulder that it was one of those places that an elf only brought someone that they were interested in only being alone with and uninterrupted. "I - um - " I stuttered ever so gracefully as he sat down beginning to pull several of the wrapped packages out of the basket.

"Sit down," I heard the laugh in Elrond's voice as he looked up at me, "I don't bite, well not unless I've been invited to." he amended with a soft chuckle as I crossed my eyes at him before sitting down in order to begin helping sort the small feast.

"What's all this - a single meal for two, even I can't eat half of all this..." I asked as he pulled out three last containers my eyes wide.

"I think we got thrown out of the great hall," he mused with a light sound of amusement, "Apparently someone prefers different mealtime entertainment than both of us dodging the very same topic they can't stop talking about behind our backs."

"At the same time all we do by doing this is continue to feed into their frenzy, that much is the same as where I'm from people gossip about the stupidest things or more often things that are none of their damn business."

"And it still angers you either way," Elrond answered passing over a piece of cloth for a napkin and then a laden plate before setting up his own with a small smile, "But I cannot argue that it is a frustrating experience to be stared at, whispered about when the last thing you truly desire is attention."

"That'd be one way to put it," I answered with a small grimace as we both began to sort what we desired of the contents and neither of us were speaking during that time, leaving both of us time to think.

I caught the furtive glance as I turned to watch the bird landing on the branch nearby a dark blue-black wingspan settling down as I felt the fingers wrap gently around my shoulders a moment later and looked up feeling the soft squeeze, "You've acted like a spooked kitten since MidSpring." he said quietly using the common tongue rather than his native speech surprising me for a few seconds before I realized the reasoning - only a few of his kin spoke with any fluency the common tongue.

"Busted," I answered more calmly than I felt, "Look, I'm going to be about as upfront as I can on this but the last time I remember any kind of intimacy - even so much as a hug that I didn't think every nerve in my body was on fire - I might've been maybe in my preteen years? Maybe? So yeah unless I have a helluva good imagination what we did... took everything I knew to be real and dumped it upside down and backwards."

A fingertip brushed along my cheek as I was looking up at him viewing his features upside-down as I did, "It was very much real," he replied in a gentle, almost soothing voice, that I was sure I was the only one who heard it, "Much as anything you are currently experiencing is real, is it possible, little one you are experiencing it here because you can't in your own world?"

"Probable," I had to admit though I hated the fact that the way I was feeling about him was possibly ha-ha all in my head, that was a nagging sense that it very well was after the discussion with Nikki, "I haven't had any kind of real connection with anyone in a long time, I just stopped trying."

"And then the shipwreck offered your mind a chance to experience everything," he murmured bending to press a kiss to my forehead smirking at my jerk, "that you have denied yourself for a long time."

"I might be a lot of things, but I am not a masochist - a person who causes themselves pain out of enjoying doing so." I explained quickly at his slightly confused expression.

My eyes followed the sun's slow descent into the western half of the sky, it occurred to me that he was showing no more interest in returning to his tasks than I was actually interested in getting back home, only just aware that I was using his outstretched thigh as a pillow though I was not at all sorry to feel fingers winding through my hair, gently braiding pieces of it at times only to unwind the braid a moment later. "Shouldn't you be running the city or something by now?" I asked as the sky began turning a pinkish hue and glanced up at the soft chuckle.

"Even a city leader needs to take time to himself from time to time, and days like today even the most responsible of elves is not interested in being indoors working when there is sun to enjoy and company to soak in."

"In other words you played hooky," I asked unable to suppress the burble of laughter that rose in my chest.

"Sure," he said though it was clear he didn't quite catch my meaning, "I couldn't see why the city wouldn't stand if I didn't sit behind a desk drowning in parchment for a few hours. It has survived this long, I do not see why a few hours or even a few days' away would change that."

It was twilight by now, and I was reluctant to get to my feet enjoying the feel of the grass under my feet and the sky overhead strongly reminded of another time with another person I had trusted - did I actually trust Elrond? '_Okay, yeah I do._' I thought to myself with a small inward smile, '_But how long can I actually stay here, indulge a selfish wish to be normal without damning myself in my own world?'_

My musings were interrupted by the brush of the back of his hand along my cheek, and looked up surprised to see that the comfortable headrest was actually the side of one of his legs blinking once then twice. The soft look was gentle and knowing, "You cannot stay much longer," he said softly smiling as he had been tagging along my thoughts, "I have done what I can, and while I do not like to admit it I would have you stay here and live in peace you have a whole other life in which I do not belong. You are needed, Raina your sister's devastation and relief that you were well makes that very clear. I have all the ages you need," he said gently smiling, "And that tentative trust you were thinking about... thank you."

"Was I thinking that loudly?" I looked up at him quietly enjoying the cooler early-evening air, "Or did I say it aloud?"

"No, the same thoughts have been dancing around my mind for several weeks," Elrond answered gently running his fingers through several strands of my hair, "And I do not like that I am going to have to push you to go, but I will." he gave a soft, gently resigned sigh. "I can accept it, Raina because I must not because I want to." At my protesting sound there was a gentle laugh, "You have a purpose outside of my world, little warrior and a family that needs you, much as I have." he returned my look with twinkling grey eyes "But I do not think this will be our last meeting. And tonight is not the end," he murmured as tears stung my eyes using a fingertip to brush them away from my eyelashes. "It is only an ending if you or I choose it to be," he continued in the same gentle tone causing me to look up at him again through them and I could feel the controlled sorrow of another parting in his emotions, "I won't choose to end this, not when quite clearly it is something you are in need of, for your own health but I cannot - and I will not encourage you to place yourself at other risks."

I hated it, but he was right I was placing myself at risk by staying - more so if Nikki was right and I had no cause to doubt my sister would tell me the truth - and at the same time I really wanted to stay there and enjoy being more or less normal. "How long do you think I can stay?" I asked remaining calm as his fingers ran through my hair soothingly.

"Probably till our Midsummer then after that ... I would say you should try to get back to your home. As much as I will miss you, Raina it is truly the right decision I would not say so if I did not believe that it were so."

"That means, we have about two weeks to figure out this mess..." I trailed off thoughtfully allowing myself the moment of mourning that once I returned home, moments like this enjoying an afternoon in the company of someone else would be little more than a fond memory.

"Yes," the word was a hollow one, and I saw my own emotions reflected back at me and I managed a weak smile which he returned gently, "Then we will make it a good two weeks to send back with you during the bleak hours."

"You're sure?" Nikki dared have the hope creep into her voice as Skylar showed her the latest readout from the weekly MRI that they had finished six hours before.

"She's improving," Skylar nodded with a gentle smile, "All she needs is time, Nikki but I don't know how much time she needs, it could be another day... it could be a week..honey it could be a month that's the wicked part of a brain injury and more, we won't know if there's damage that the scans don't show until she wakes up."

_If she wakes up._ Nikki amended silently looking from the tired faces of her sister and their husbands, "One bridge at a time, she's just got to wake up. Are there any ways that we can maybe help her along?"

"Well she's fighting the respirator according to the nurses overnight and that's a positive thing if she continues, I can pull her off the respirator and ease off the medicine and see what comes of it, but I must absolutely warn you it could backfire and cause respiratory distress or cardiac arrest." Skylar answered with her gentlest smile understanding the girls' anguish.

"But if it's a chance to make her get back here sooner I'm all for it." Destiny answered for the two of them, "No risk no gain and we got to get her back we just got to."

"The fat lady's not even in the auditorium ladies, let alone warming up so you have all the chance everyone else dose in the same circumstance," Skylar's voice lowered, "With what she is, I say it's a better chance than I have seen before."


	15. Chapter 15

Tommy's cell phone sprang to life unexpectedly, loudly in the otherwise silent corridor as he was walking down the hall to the elevators leading upstairs to the ICU floor, causing him to jump and blink at the name flashing on the screen as he answered it, "Hey, man I didn't think I missed a check-in with you or did I?"

"No, but you were on my mind Little Brother and I tend to follow those threads where you are concerned, you are all right?" David answered easily, and Tommy could hear the concern and checked fear in his brother's voice.

"Me personally, I'm okay other than too long not seeing the kids and keeping Nikki from fluctuating between an anxious mess and trying to be like cast iron - so strong a good hit will shatter her bones." Tommy answered trying to ignore the now-familiar beeping of the monitors in the hallway.

"Now you have me worried, what is going on?" David asked, the concern in his voice growing thicker.

"Raina was in an accident about three weeks ago, and we had to first leave Mandy and Cayden with my parents so we could first find out if it really was Raina in the hospital in the first place, and from there its spiraled into a mess." Tommy revealed rubbing his face, feeling the three-day stubble growing on his chin.

"Oooh-boy," David half muttered to himself though Tommy heard it clearly, "That'd be why you were running the miles in my mind Little Brother. I am sure that everything will work out, are Mandy and Cayden still visiting with Jan and Thomas in Angel Grove and where in the great fires are you?"

"Down in San Clemente at the hospital there." Tommy revealed with a sigh, "I can't leave Nikki here alone even with Jase and Destiny here, she's apt to have a meltdown all her own and then I'd have an even bigger mess."

"Man, this is a mess, what can I do to help?" David asked in his direct way, the concern for his brother's family overriding any lingering concern of venturing too far from the reservation he lived on and loved.

Tommy sighed deeply, "I really hate this, if Kris and Willow figure out this situation is as dire they're likely to show up and cause problems and right about now Nikki's apt to rip someone's face off after that last phone call she got about three months ago."

"Great more problems," David answer thoughtfully, "Sounds like I get to go on a kid-catching expedition and redirect two troublemaking females with less sense than a cat in heat."

"That's about the gist of it," Tommy answered chuckling wearily, "If those two show up the best that can happen is Raina wakes up and throws 'em all out of her room."

"Great," David said echoing Tommy's thought, "Gonna be fun Little Brother, I'll give Jan and Thomas a call and see about distracting your wife with about the only thing that might actually pull her out of that room for more than ten minutes."

Seven hours later Nikki turned the corner toward the vending machines, a delighted shriek caused her to spin around to find Mandy launching herself at Nikki fully expecting Nikki to recover from her shock in time to catch her. "What in the world are you doing here? Where are Grandma and Grandpa?" she asked smoothing Mandy's hair back from her face smiling tiredly.

"With Uncle David trying to get Daddy to get him to go to the hotel and shower and sleep, is Aunt Raina okay?" Mandy asked in a way that was indicative that the girl already knew the answer.

"At this moment, Love-bug I don't know if she is or isn't," Nikki answered her as the others appeared, including Cayden who was currently sitting on top of David's broad shoulders and playing with the longer length of dark hair contentedly though there was a faintly bemused expression on the elder sibling's face.

"I'm sure, if she's even so much as half as stubborn as you and Destiny are that she will be fine." David said giving Nikki a tight hug frowning at the weight loss, "You on the other hand need to eat and sleep, you already risk being in the next room, Nikki."

"I'm fine, I will sleep once she's awake." Nikki insisted despite the yawn that crept out of her belly causing David to shake his head.

"You need to sleep," He insisted gently looking down at his sister-in-law. "And eat." he added feeling the quiet growl of her stomach against his own.

"Later," Nikki answered pulling reluctantly away from David's comforting, calm presence, "I need to go sit with Raina, what happens if she wakes up alone?"

"No," David said putting his foot down, reaching to gently grab her shoulder so that Nikki would have to face him, "You need to go eat, sleep and spend time with your own family, if it means that much to have someone here, I'll sit and you all go." he said firmly giving her a look that was so familiar that it could have come from Tommy himself.

Tears welled up in her eyes, partly David knew out of exhaustion, and partly out of fear to leave the hospital, the unknown was no friend of his brother's wife and he understood that, "I - I can't."

"You will." he persisted pulling Nikki to him for another hug, knowing he'd have to out-stubborn her, "Go, spend time with your children they miss their Mama." he said in a low voice, "All Mandy talked about was how much fun Grandma's was but she missed seeing her Mama. And you need her." he added quietly knowing that if there was one thing Nikki valued more than anything it was her children - and more so because the history between herself and Tommy had begun rocky and proved strong.

"A-All right." she sniffled looking up into dark eyes, though there seemed to be flecks of grey slate where Tommy's eyes were deep, dark pools. "It couldn't hurt..."

"Go," he persisted nudging her toward Tommy with a slight look over her head that said plainly "I told you so."

David waited until the group had vanished into the elevator to turn toward the corridor leading to the room he knew from Tommy held the sister-in-law he knew least about. Raina was somewhat of an enigma to him, spoken with an air of near-reverence from both Nikki and Destiny but with heat and venom by the older set of twins, and in Autumn's case the last time David had asked she had been overcome with confused emotion. He stopped just inside the room to study the surroundings and acclimate to the unfamiliar level of modern interference with life and death. The machines marred the majority of her features, he realized sitting down in the uncomfortable chair.

It certainly looked as dire as Nikki's reaction to being pushed to take time away from the hospital. There were wires and cords with fancy read-outs hooked up all over her form, and it took David several moments to realize that the majority of the bed was... bed not body unlike even Nikki who topped the height chart at a respectable five foot four, this woman didn't even kiss the five foot line he was sure of it. David watched the monitors curiously for several minutes recognizing some of the symbols of what the machine was reading and frowned at one of them as the door opened.

"You must be David." an unfamiliar feminine voice spoke from behind him and he recognized that she was wearing a doctor's white coat, "I'm Dr. Ulrich, and Nikki's adopted aunt, I've been monitoring the situation for Raina." she explained with an easy smile, "I took a guess because you look a lot like what Tommy does, just .. your own person." she looked around, "And you already managed what I could not, you got Nikki to leave."

"I figure she's going to sneak in when she thinks I've fallen asleep later." David chuckled softly, "Stubborn like a mule that one."

"She has good reason, if what I understand about her sister, sit." Skylar invited gently, "I don't know much about Raina myself but I can attest from experience with other patients it is frightening to wake up in a hospital period, and more so with the many machines and the respirator I am sure that her fear is going to multiply."

David chuckled quietly, "If Raina shares even half of Nikki's loathing of doctors than she's likely to try to blow this place sky-high."

Skylar nodded, "Well that's the part that no one knows really, how she's going to react, but if Nikki's right it'll be interesting."


	16. Chapter 16

I woke up surrounded by a sea of softly scented green foliage and blinked realizing that I had fallen asleep on the balcony, and shifting my weight I realized that someone in the course of the night dropped a blanket over my legs and left me to sleep in peace. It was, I knew nearing the end of my stay - and yet I couldn't help feeling slightly resentful of the knowledge. I enjoyed being able to tap someone's shoulder without worrying if I would get a horrible shock or if they would, Elrond had taken that theory and not only shaken it, but had smashed it.

And, I realized watching one of the birds dance from branch to branch carrying small bugs or worms; that I genuinely enjoyed Elrond's company and selfishly I had gotten used to the fact that I could touch him - and he could so much as place his hand on mine as we talked. That was a mistake, and I knew it and committed it knowingly. Was it foolish? Absolutely.

Reluctantly I got up off of the lounging chair and randomly picked a set of robes before heading into the baths and began soaking letting my mind rest and shake off the fog of sleep a piece at a time. I climbed out of the water yawning widely and dried off before dressing in the deep blue robes, leaving my hair loose around my shoulders for once.

Coffee, the blessed bean of fog-lifting; I craved it and that would lessen my headache. I gravitated toward the serving-room that would have that in stock. I also half-bet that I would be the only one seeking out the beverage by that point in the day - the elves preferred tea in the mornings the way I craved and needed the hit of caffeine to jolt my brain into gear.

As I had anticipated the serving-room was empty which left me a few more minutes of quiet to make and doctor my mug in blessed silence, yet the veranda I found to enjoy the contents to be just the opposite. It was a 'family' gathering of sorts - even if it seemed to be about business rather than family given that the seneschal and Elrond were both examining a large unrolled map on the table and the advisor, Erestor looked over other reports while the twins appeared to be, as usual entertaining themselves.

"Good morning, sleepy." Elladan greeted me as I picked the last empty chair and curled up into it with a wide yawn.

"It isn't a good morning till this mug is empty." I retorted holding the mug possessively in my hands, "Then we'll talk 'good' or 'bad' mornings."

"Elladan don't poke the kitten." Elrond reprimanded lightly, to his credit without looking up from his map or even glancing toward either of us, "Grumpy kittens bite when barely awake."

"Or a bored kitten bites," Elrohir added with a laugh passing the tray with various baked goods sitting on top of it, holding it so I could select one to go with the steaming mug in my hands.

"Sure," I answered turning my attention to what the others were discussing as I began nibbling at the breakfast roll cautiously, well aware of how edgy my stomach could be first thing in the morning.

"Nothing truly serious," Glorfindel assured me with a smile as he marked several places along the large river bordering the lands, "Just an unusual amount of orc attacks along a certain part of the river, nothing that won't be easily fixed I think, Elrond and I are just going over various strategies to deal with the problem quickly and easily."

"Interesting that it's so close to Midsummer that these attacks are cropping up," I commented careful to keep my tone neutral, "Is that normal every year?"

"Not every year, but this is the closest that the orcs have actually ventured to the lands in some time," Elladan answered knowingly, "Of course this is the first year Elrohir and I haven't been actively beating them back with the guards either."

"That was your decision," Elrond reminded them easily, this time glancing to the pair with a warning that even I could have seen in the dark so thickly layered was it that I was reasonably sure that even a non-empath would have as well.

"It was, and it was the right one, we were needed here," Elladan smiled easily at his father, aiming to diffuse the situation, "And when its time we'll return to our own quest of beating the orcs off the face of the world one orc at a time until then we'll do what needs done."

"In which case, there's stables to tend to, and the Healing wing has need of supplies I would think it prudent if you two would be so generous with your time to take care of those matters?" Glorfindel suggested in a tone that made it abundantly clear it was no suggestion.

"Sure, anything else while we're out," Elladan offered getting to his feet nudging his twin to do the same.

"Yes," Elrond answered and passed them a package of scrolls, "Send our swiftest messenger to Cirdan with those, he'll know what to do from there."

It was much quieter without the often-rambunctious presence of the twins and I found myself relaxing again stretching my feet out before me for several minutes before curiosity gained the better of me and I polished off the pastry - a positively divine raspberry filled flakey thing topped with just a bit of powdered sugar if you wanted to know before standing and shifted my weight to study the board before the trio.

I'm ashamed to say that I saw several exploitable weaknesses in the preliminary plan of defense, and before I could think not to say so, I blurted out, "You do realize by placing the bulk of your men here, here and here," I pointed to the rocky hills, directly in the known hot zone and just past the cliffs of the river you leave open the most direct path to the city proper?' I inquired tracing the path with my fingertip watching the three of them, "Mind, far be it of me a mere human to question the wisdom of one of the Wise," I grinned at Elrond's uncomfortable expression, "But from what I seen of those orcs they aren't that dumb to not notice a big fat hole in your defenses."

"Well then, indulge my curiosity, kitty-cat and show me what you would do in this situation," Glorfindel invited moving the different pieces so that I could reach them.

Well that was interesting, what would I do if I were the one making the calls? I spent a solid quarter-hour studying the board and the placement and as I considered the view I began asking questions, "Well what have the scouts reported back? Any bigger or smaller camps that can be quietly ... removed as a threat? Or any other threats?" I asked and kept the answers in mind as I moved the pieces and split several sets of guardsmen apart and divided them between different places. "And, a last question, would it be possible to send reliable, quick and sure-footed individuals who can go investigate here, and maybe here?" I pointed to two different areas remembering that Erestor had confirmed that those caves were frequent haunts of the orcs.

"That we can do, Elladan and Elrohir can check the farther one and Estel the second," Erestor pointed out reasonably, "And all there and back within two days' time."

I nodded and used spare markers to represent that and as a side thought pulled back a dozen archers and placed them in strategic areas around the city proper. "Just as a precaution, in case the orcs managed to get past the other defenses." I explained at Glorfindel's raised eyebrow.

There was uncomfortable, for me at least silence during the few minutes that the trio were examining my suggestion and I saw that each of them were coming to the same conclusion in almost the same time, "You came up with a solid defensive... offense." Elrond commented with a note of surprise, "It's an aggressive strategy with some risk..."

"Milord, with all due respect the men and rare woman who sign up for your guard patrols know the risks and that there is the chance they will be killed," I pointed out reasonably using the closest to neutral tone I could manage to mask my irritation with, "It's nothing that they are not prepared for."

"Never forget my friend just because you helped tame the wild cat doesn't mean that the tamer one has no claws." Glorfindel chided with a light chuckle even as I hid my smirk behind the last sip of my coffee. "Would you like another of those to tame your tongue kitty-cat or are you content?" he asked with a feigned innocence as Erestor made notes of my suggestion making it clear that was the plan that the Seneschal - who had final say in which plans were made in order to ensure the safety of the city was going to use.

Starlight streamed into my room by way of the opened curtains offering more than enough light to see by particularly when I factored in that my head was throbbing terribly. I did not want to get up and see who was knocking, ever so gently on my door but sometimes habit overrode good sense and I opened the door a crack in order to see inside and tilted my head surprised to see Elladan on the other side of the door.

"Well that explains being stood up for chess," he said by way of greeting the annoyance quickly fading into concern, "You look terrible, are you unwell?" he asked as my hand tightened in response to the stabbing pain behind my eyes.

"Yeah, sorry about that." I muttered squinting trying to shut out the brighter light in the hallway. "Nothing that a good face plant in the blankets won't cure," I muttered as the world grew unbearably, suddenly too bright and only just felt his hand wrap around my shoulder to steady me a split second before the room went dark suddenly...

"No no no," Skylar muttered as she heard the code blue alarm coming from the one room that had been stable breaking into a dead run as the rest of the ICU staff sprang into action, "Come on," she shook her head as they began emergency CPR trying to restart Raina's heart, "Don't you dare give up now."

"Aunt Skylar!" Nikki's voice rose frantically over the din of the room, "What happened?"

"Her heart stopped," David said in a soft undertone to Tommy, "I was sitting here reading and all a sudden this awful noise filled my head, like a long beep."

"Come on damn it Raina," Tommy shook his head, "Fight it back, you're so close." His arm closed around the squirming, frantic Nikki keeping her from darting into the mess of hospital staff working frantically to restore Raina's well-being.

There was a collective, relieved sigh as the machines began again the agonizingly familiar series of beeps and blips that represented Raina's body functions, though Skylar had resolutely refused the suggestion from the pulmonary specialist's recommendation that Raina be placed back on the respirator.

Ten minutes later Skylar herded the group into the hallway to speak frankly with them, "I need to impress upon each of you just how dire the situation has become, we do not have the days we thought, there is something very wrong." she said quietly, "And it's not physical." she said lowering her voice to keep herself from being heard, "I just hope it's nothing that cannot be remedied."

"Its within her, isn't it Aunt Skylar?" Destiny said pragmatically, "She doesn't really want to come back does she?"

Skylar hesitated before answering, and it wasn't she who had the opportunity to do so, "Des, I really couldn't blame her if she didn't want to." tears were sparkling in Nikki's eyes as she spoke in a trembling voice, "It was the first time I ever got a real hug from her, and I couldn't even actually get it in the real world." tears spilled down her cheeks, "It's all in her hands, not ours, all we can do is wait and hope she picks us."

"Why wouldn't she pick us?" Destiny asked in a low hiss grabbing Nikki in order to pull her several yards away from the others and switched to Phaedosean before she could think to do anything else.

"Des," Nikki began as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks, "For the first time I ever saw her actually have a mostly normal reaction to anyone, let alone anyone male."

"Wait - you mean like relationships," Destiny shook herself briefly, "Raina doesn't -do- relationships."

"Not normally she doesn't do relationships but I think there was something either going on or getting started on it cause I saw it happening and since when do you or I not get the blunt-ass truth out of Raina with her usual biting sarcasm."

"That's unusual," Destiny agreed watching Nikki carefully, "Are you saying she might want to stay?"

"Des, I think there's a part of her that wants nothing more than to stay," Nikki answered blinking hard, "Even if she knows we need her just as much as we ever did."

"Let's give her another couple days, provided there's no more scares like today we let her come up on her own otherwise we risk shocking her system in the not-good kind of way."


	17. Chapter 17

"That was quite the scare you gave everyone," the chiding, gentle voice belonged to the last person I wanted to see after coming to. "Me especially," he added quieter so that I would hear him but anyone that might have been nearby would not.

"Well it wasn't the highlight of my evening," I retorted sitting up with the aid of the extended hand.

"Raina," there was a note of sorrow in his voice the sound of which caught my attention totally so much so that my head snapped up to look at him, "I fear I have the reason of what caused that spell," he said keeping my gaze steadily, "Your time here is coming to an end," he said softly, "Or something is wrong with your true self." he said gently reaching to take my hand in his, "I cannot See past Midsummer for you here, so it is my hope that we are able to solve the riddle of returning you to your own home."

"How long was I out?" I asked quietly looking at him with what I hoped was a steadier look than I actually felt.

"Almost a day and a half," he answered, "In another three those of us who are attending the Midsummer celebration in the Grey Havens this year are leaving, I think you should accompany us, if need be we will arrange for a carriage if you are still unwell."

I frowned gently and reluctantly nodded at him, "All right, I am sorry that it has come to this, something I don't really want." I admitted quietly with a slight, very reluctant smile.

"I know," he answered carefully picking his words and his reactions, "If it were possible, I would not mind you staying until the end of your days, it is just not practical." he smiled gently allowing himself the selfish gesture of touching my cheek with the palm of his hand. "I will not be far during the last days, Erestor has been making arrangements with me for the running and endeavors of the city while we are all away at the celebration, it is important to celebrate all things that are positive."

It was both reassuring and heartbreaking to learn that I would have his company much of the next days, as it would make the end, that much more painful for both of us. At the same time, it seemed everyone from the most casual guard to the not-so subtle hints and efforts of the individuals closest to either of us.

"Milady, the escort of Lord Elrond is prepared, and you are asked for." the servant's voice interrupted my musing the morning of the third day and I made myself smile though I wanted to do anything but smile.

"I'll be down directly, I know the way to the stables." I answered in fluid elvish pleased with my ability to communicate freely with anyone I needed to, unlike my first experience in the city of elves. I returned my attention to the parchment before me and added the finishing touches to the letter I had been composing to Elrond and signed my name ensuring that the ink was dry before folding it and sealed it carefully, carrying it in one hand as I lifted my personal bag with the other and headed out of the room that had been my home for just shy of a year, closing the door with a hollow-sounding thud.

I detoured on my way to the stables by way of Elrond's private study, placing the letter in the top drawer of the desk and heard the click as I closed it again before hurrying to meet the others before they would leave me behind.

One of the guardsmen led the horse I had been given to ride up to where the rest of the leading family were, placing me not on the lord's right where a guest would be, I knew from studying the formal habits of the elves but on his left. I felt very strange riding alongside him, in the position his wife would have - something I was keenly aware of perhaps the only one more so than me was Elrond himself though he did not I also noticed right away arrange for me to ride in another location instead he seemed more at ease with the idea than I was.

"Are you well?" I found myself on the ground several hours later, looking up at a very concerned Elladan, who had been riding on my other side until just then.

"Yeah, I guess I just forgot to drink while we were riding." I answered shakily only to find a travelling mug filled with a strong-smelling red liquid held by another set of hands, in a very familiar olive-toned hand.

"Drink," I heard the quiet command, tinged with genuine concern and the frown that creased his features as I nearly gagged on the first sip, "Help her sit," he locked gazes with Elladan, who helped me sit up though I had to lean on him for balance as a pair of concerned grey eyes filled my field of vision then darted over my head silently expressing his concern to Elladan.

"Maybe, you should consider riding with someone, Raina." Elladan suggested as I managed to finish the first few sips of the stronger liquid.

I shook my head, well aware just where I would get stuck and the last thing I really wanted was to breathe in that distinctive smell for hours on end. "thoughtful as that is, I do not think that it is a wise idea." I looked up at Elrond pleading with him to agree with me silently. I realized that he was about as keen on the idea of his son's indirect suggestion as I was but not for the same reason I was. We had been avoiding staying alone for long for a very practical reason - neither of us were prepared for the result.

"One more unhealthy reaction, of any kind and I'm going to have to insist upon it," Elrond decided after an agonizing minute, "I'm in no mood to face off with Cirdan of bringing an unwell guest with me."

_Well played, Elrond well played._ I thought to myself even as Elladan gave him a wary look, clearly preferring that I do so before a second reaction. "It's a fair compromise, as I said I am sure it is because I didn't keep drinking like I should have in the heat."

A few hours later the sun was blindingly in the eyes and I found myself weaving a bit in the saddle and this time caught myself before I could draw unnecessary attention to myself, using the saddle horn for balance, "Elrond, its nearly midday, I know your people don't require sustenance as often as I do but I should eat..."

"Up ahead, under those trees, you need to get out of the sun for an hour or so." Elrond said pointing to a small shady grove, "and the horses could use the rest." he added looking over at Erestor warningly as if it silence a comment.

I wasn't used to long hours riding a horse anymore, not really and I was half relieved when Elrond dismounted first and offered a hand to help me down, of course it was still a monster of a drop anyway, stifling a softer squeaking sound in my chest as his arm wrapped around my shoulders steadying me as my knees buckled, "You should rest while the twins fix a meal," he suggested softly.

It was sinking in that these would be the last days truly with the elves one way or another and I was reluctant to sleep through them though I realized too that I very likely wasn't going to be given a choice in the matter as I was maneuvered to sit on the larger, thick blanket with Elrond. "Are you well?" he asked in a low murmur holding a flask of water for me to drink from and I did greedily before smiling slightly.

"I am well," I assured him with a nod before his hand pushed me gently to a reclining position as I heard the fire crackling and could smell the travelers meal cooking. I must have dozed off because I realized that I had been gently shaken awake, a plate and drink sitting where the bugs would not invade.

"Time to wake up for a meal," I heard a voice prodding me gently into waking and smile yawned with a stretch protesting the idea even as I heard my stomach grow. It would take me a few seconds to clear my head enough to take the bowl from the extended hand and began eating despite the large yawn.

I realized as the food began working its way into my system that the three elves I had spent much of my time interacting with were standing just outside of my hearing range and quite obviously having a rather intense, heated discussion that I was equally sure that I wanted no part of.

Unfortunately for me, I would soon discover that I would not evade that sort of discussion indefinitely. I was clearly the topic as only a very few topics which agitated Elrond in such a fashion that his body language expressed it clearly. I didn't want to know the contents of the discussion, but as the fates would have it I did discover it. The discussion was abruptly ended by Elrond's agitated departure from the immediate camp for a quarter-hour before appearing again, calm and serene again.

"Walk with me," Elrond offered me a hand to get to my feet as he appeared near my left, "The others will break down our camp, and we will ride on for another four or five hours before stopping for the evening." he explained, "And walking for a few minutes will do your balance miracles." he said comfortably, as he steered us out of hearing range, but I realized that we were in sight of several others which prompted me to turn so that his back was to them in order to preserve some semblance of privacy. "I am aware you witnessed my ... disagreement with my sons," he began placing a hand on my shoulder as he drew in a deeper breath. "And, while I am not entirely pleased by their suggestion, the twins do bring up a very valid point. They suggested rather than bunk in the small tent that had been packed for you, that you stay with ... me." he finished with a softer sigh, "Your dizzy spell, however minor earlier today really troubles them, if we indulge them an evening perhaps their fears will be assuaged." he frowned then slightly, "Of course, I do not mean that I am sorry to have a few hours uninterrupted by anyone to have time with you before you leave," he amended, "I simply fear for the resulting rumors."

"Those I am sorry that you will face once I am home," I answered softly, looking reluctantly up at him, afraid of further imprinting his face to my memory, "I wish it would be different."

"A warm memory can keep a soul warm for a great many years." He answered as his hand pulled me closer to his chest for a softer hug, "Your health is far more important than any selfish wish I might have." he said softer, so much so that I almost hadn't heard him.

"Let's not worry about goodbye till we get to that time?" I suggested feeling tears burn at my eyes, "I'm bad enough at them that a practice run will only hurt more."

"That is a good suggestion," he answered glancing behind him as a throat cleared.

"I don't mean to intrude," Glorfindel's voice met our ears, "But we have about five hours of riding ahead of us for today in order to stop in a known, and established safe place." It was clear in the reluctant tone that the elf was aware of what we had been discussing, and unhappy to be interrupting.

Within minutes of our return the glade did not hold a trace of the small, temporary invasion of elves as we were on our way again on the path leading toward the Grey Havens. It was pleasant riding again though the sun in my eyes was brutal, and I pulled my cloak over my head to shield my eyes from the bright light, and it would be, as Glorfindel had indicated, about five hours of riding before the sun had set enough that pressing on further would only prove detrimental and hazardous.

I had the benefit of being able to watch the elves setting up camp properly and I couldn't help but marvel at the efficient, practiced movements - not a one was wasted and as much as it bothered me to admit it to myself, I would have been a hindrance to their progress. I was aware, more keenly than I realized that my few packs were placed into the larger tent, along with my sleeping roll and I quickly ascertained to whom that tent belonged when the standard of Rivendell was placed outside the door. I noticed too that the twins had their own tent that looked identical to the first at the same time a third with the same treatment went up. This was strategic, and rather admittedly brilliant. It would confuse any would-be assassin - unless he or she were watching when Elrond would enter a tent stumbling along it lowered the chances of someone picking the proper one instead coming face to face with the others.

As they had set a fire to burning I set about preparing an evening's stew made of the trio of hares that had been caught on the way to the camp. It was calming to have something normal to do, as they were working, the least thing that I could do seemed to me to be making a meal. I had dug into one of the supplies bags and unearthed to my pleasure a series of pouches which had in them various vegetables, some potatoes and even a pouch containing corn meal. I was sitting on the ground skinning one of the hares patiently with a sharp knife from my own backpack as the din settled down. I was busy finishing the deed when I felt the pair of arms wrap around me and a hand closed in on mine to steady the knife in my hand and heard the "Oomph" of breath over my head as my elbow jerked backward to slam into a set of ribs. "Only me," I heard the soft murmur against the top of my head. "Let me finish the hares, wash off your hands and begin the vegetables." the suggestion was calm, mild even.

Within a few minutes the stew was satisfyingly set up to cooking over the fire. I found myself entranced by the dancing flames, reminded of years long gone, of friends now little more than memory and... lastly with a twist of a knife in my chest... My sisters. I knew that I had to return to them sooner than later, but that didn't mean that I had to like it.

It was quiet, everyone in the travelling caravan had split apart to little groups, leaving me alone with Elrond by the warming fire. It wasn't a huge thing, but there was enough light to see as the sun began its descent into the sky, and it was more than sufficient to heat the stew through.

I am the first to say I'm no great chef, in fact more than half of what I cook I wouldn't feed to my worst enemy (and Power knows I'd give nearly anything to be rid of Camtamin and Soleil any day of the week) but this stew was actually respectable. Of course, that Elrond or Elladan stayed within smelling distance of the pot probably helped raise the likelihood of edibility. It was equally relaxing to listen to the stories that the elves were telling around the campfire, not even noticing when my head came to a rest on Elrond's shoulder it simply seemed to be the thing to do, and sighed once as the warmer arm wrapped around my back further relaxing me as the voice floated around in a softer lure of rest and relaxation...

Glorfindel came around the fire and sat down beside the brooding half-elf with a smile that spoke of sympathy and understanding in one, "You are not looking forward to the celebration, Summer as I recall from past years was your favorite."

"Not this year," Elrond answered him barely looking up from the full glass of wine in his hands broodingly glancing at Glorfindel as Raina dozed near his side, "I knew it was a temporary situation, Glorfindel when I let myself fall into it..."

"It was good for you ... more... it was good for the wildcat to find a little piece of normality in a clearly abnormal existence." Glorfindel smiled faintly, "You helped her more than you know, even if the end comes... she's not going to want to go you know this."

"Yes... It's in my mind as well." Elrond answered with a sigh, "You need not worry if I will or will not do the right thing. I have survived more than a bruise to the heart, old friend I will manage."

"It isn't your heart I am concerned for," Glorfindel answered him with a cautious look toward the sleeping woman, "Those scars you only just really patched together and now you have to get her back wherever it is she came from..."

"She'll be all right," Elrond answered with a soft sigh, "I have to believe in that or I won't be able to let go when I know deep in my guts I absolutely must."

"Just once, old friend I'd like to see you have a little more happiness that wasn't temporary." Glorfindel said quietly, watching Elrond's expression with a mix of compassion and frustration, "You have given so much of yourself, not only to that girl but to the city, to your children, to Celebrian, but to everyone around you ... and for a few short months you were ... a man discovering what it was to feel again."

"Hard not to feel with that hot-headed wildcat bouncing emotions - my own included around like some kind of demented wizard on a sugar kick." Elrond's face ghosted a smile before it faded away, "I hope to steal away a few hours before the end, uninterrupted..." he trailed off at the sight of the other elf's understanding smile.

"Was that an indirect request for assistance to achieve that goal?" Glorfindel inquired innocently as Elrond set the wine aside with a gentler sigh.

"Simply put.. yes. Not as my Seneschal but as my friend... I'm about to have to push away someone I would much rather not for her own health." Elrond answered him as Glorfindel's hand rested on his shoulder.

"You only needed to ask."


	18. Chapter 18

I tossed in a fitful dream, trying not to take the tendrils of it with me as I clawed my way to the surface and gasped out a ragged, painful sound - and it had been painful the knot in my chest was brutal and I heard the elf not but three feet away from me stirring as I fought to lessen the obviousness of my discomfort.

"Another nightmare?" he asked, blinking once and enviably awake even with the near-pitch of the tent I was reasonably certain that he could see me even if I couldn't see him.

"Yeah," I exhaled before the fact that he had said 'another' struck me, "Wait - what do you mean another nightmare?"

'This is the third time in as many hours as you woke me," there was no judgment or anger in the soft tone, "Are you dreaming the same thing repeatedly?" he asked getting out of his blankets to approach me as my eyes adjusted to the dim light in time to see that merely his lower half was covered in sleeping clothes.

I drew in a shaky breath and hated how damn easy the truth tumbled out of my lips, "No, it's different every time but damn if it's not just as bad." I shook myself once to clear away the last of the most recent. "We should sleep, both of us they'll all want to be on the trail soon after sunrise."

"Welcome," the emissary of the Shipwright greeted all of us as we dismounted, "We are honored that our kindred from the Hidden Valley have chosen to come to our celebration of the Summer." the voice was melodious and kind, not unlike the water I could just hear in the short distance behind all of us. "For those of you whom have been guests before, your rooms are in the same place, those of you who have not I will show the way."

"Will Cirdan be joining us tonight?" Glorfindel inquired as everyone began the process of sorting out belongings and horses which were being led away with steady hands by the stable-boys and grooms.

"Not until dinner, milord Cirdan is on the Sea sailing by now back from the Shores of Valinor." the emissary answered mildly, having clearly expected the response.

"It is an honor," the emissary spoke in easy common to my pleasant surprise as he showed me the path to the rooms I would be able to use for the celebration, more accurately I knew deep down my last days in this strange, beautiful land. "To have met the woman who survived the Sea's wrath."

"I was lucky," I answered honestly as he showed me to the last corridor and paused, "The very last door on your left is Lord Elrond's preferred rooms - a rare guest is he so much so that milord Cirdan insists that we indulge his preferences when he is here. Yours is this one," he explained and passed me a small key that had a rune that matched the one on the door plaque. "We thought it prudent to place the guests from Imladris in one corridor, Elrond's sons share the room across the hall from their father, and..." the emissary droned on and I had long since stopped listening. Elrond's space in the Havens was maybe twenty yards down a corridor though I knew that the elves were clever builders and that obvious space was maximized internally.

I opened the door hearing only vaguely the suggestion that I do so and found myself staring at the simplest, but most elegant sitting room that I had ever seen. The room was awash in the colors of the sea - pale greens, blues and eggshell that mixed and mingled in a way that was another knife in my chest. "Dinner will be just after sunset this evening if you are hungry then you are welcome to join the feasting - the last before the Celebration beginning tomorrow and lasting three days and nights." the emissary explained, "if you are hungry beforehand I'm confident anyone you ask can direct you toward the kitchens or find something that will please you."

"Many thanks." I answered as the emissary took his leave, which allowed me the luxury of a few moments of quiet, regretful sorrow in the solitude of the room. I was back in nearly the very place the unusual trip had begun and I resented even the necessity or politeness of it all deeply.

I spent time enjoying the room, it really was a lovely space before I wrapped myself in a cloak - it might've been summer but by the water it was cool, and the sun was hidden behind clouds - and began walking along the beach listening to the water's quiet roar and enjoying it when I looked up ahead to see a figure I knew well standing in a place I hadn't known I had been drawn to on my own.

"Here," he said with a weary smile, "Is where we found you, just shy of a year ago," his hand was extended in a gesture of offer to take mine into it which I indulged him and swallowed the sigh as his fingers wrapped around my hand. "The sea destroyed the boat you had been in, and it spat you onto the shore amid the wreckage," he explained clearly seeing the picture in his mind as he spoke, "Cirdan and I ... we only did the rational thing and sought for anyone trapped in it... I am thankful we did."

"Not as much as I am." I answered honestly well able to envision the wreckage of my once-beloved boat. "Three days ... " I murmured and found myself, to my greater surprise looking up at him with the pewter-flecked grey eyes sober and kind.

"That, we deal with on the evening of the third day, as we agreed." he said quietly, the smile sad as his hand cupped my cheek, warmer than my face despite having been as exposed to the cooler breeze of the water. "Tonight and tomorrow night are for happy thoughts and I am sure a few minutes here and there like now to spend in quiet."

"Aren't you supposed to do the whole visiting dignitary thing?" I asked bluntly and found myself rewarded by the rich laugh that sent butterflies to flight in my stomach.

"Oh, I'm sure I'll do plenty of that, at some point, likely during meals or at times during the celebration.. the rest of the time... is mine and I for once plan to use it as if it actually were." he answered amused as he sat down using my caught hand to guide me closer to lean his head to mine...

"Just once I'd like to see Father be happy for more than a few months or a few moments." Elladan grumped at his twin who was wearing a mirroring scowl as they exchanged glances standing otherwise quiet sentries to guard the privacy of the pair sitting together just out of hearing range but in their line of sight.

"We cannot change what is in the tapestries, but we can ensure that those whose lives are altered are well as much as we are able." Glorfindel interjected softly drawing the twins' narrowed gazes, "I need your help not for tonight, but for tomorrow evening, boys." he said carefully looking between the mirroring elves, so much like their father but traces of their mother lingered there still, such as now the guileless expressions replacing the scowls.

"What do you mean?" Elrohir asked as they circled toward the taller, pale elf standing cross-armed before him so that only a very soft voice would be needed.

"I was asked... to ensure that your father has peace before he has to push the wildcat to do exactly the opposite of what either of them want. I aim to do so but I will need some maneuvering to ensure it particularly with the sheer number of demands that we all know will be placed on your father's shoulders simply because he is who he is."

"What do we need to do?" Elladan asked immediately giving the Seneschal - and one of their father's oldest friends an intent look.

"First we must circumvent as many personal audience requests as possible - Elrond's not going to have the patience for them to begin with and the time spent there is just going to make him irritable and moody."

"And that's no fun either, since that usually transfers to agitation toward us." Elrohir chimed in, "I'm going to assume you have a plan, Glorfindel to ensure that doesn't happen?"

"Absolutely, one we circumvent and intercept as many requests as we can, and reserve the evening as much as is feasible to himself tonight will be easy enough with our arrival this morning." Glorfindel went on to explain the rest of his plans.

"You placed some serious thought into this didn't you?" Elladan mused glancing once toward the pair, now walking away from them along the coastline.

"Since your father has made a habit of neglecting his own well-being it is up to someone else who loves him as family to do so." Glorfindel grinned slightly at the pair of them, "And currently since Erestor is working on his part of the plan already, that leaves me to do the looking-after."

"You will.. after?" there was echoing concern in the twins' unison voices as the Seneschal smiled placing his hands up in a surrendering pose.

"Naturally, we are a kind of family all our own," Glorfindel's expression was filled with unspoken worry as his gaze settled on the twins' "I haven't seen him look at anyone - male or female twice since your mother sailed beyond what was necessary, as such this is not going to be a pleasant endeavor for him I advise you two to cease and desist on the many pranks you two are so known for."

"There's a time for mischief and a time for none and now is not a time for mischief." Elladan answered as his twin nodded, "We have more important work to do than cause him more stress."


	19. Chapter 19

/Author's Note: Please do not continue this Chapter if you are not over 18 or are uncomfortable reading about adult situations. This author is not responsible for what you do or do not see in the following passages. However the author welcomes comments, complaints and reviews, flamers please step outside and then feel free :)

I stood a short distance from the wide-ranging celebration of elves and this time more than a few men and women so much so in fact that I didn't feel quite so out of place as I had at Midspring, but the crowd that was a whole second matter in which the anxiety I felt around people flared to life as a small flickering flame in my belly. I had been given somewhere along the way a glass of sweet, dark red wine and that was settling my nerves even as my stomach constricted with the addition.

I didn't hear the footsteps behind me or realize that anyone was there until the hand bearing a familiar sapphire ring gently tapped my shoulder turning my attention away from the moving mass of individuals seemingly everywhere at the same moment. I looked up and smiled at the utter lack of surprise on his face. "I had guessed I would find you on the outside observing the events rather than risking becoming part of them." there was a smile tickling his lips as he stepped to be directly behind me.

"I wish it were different," I said softly, hoping that the elf would not hear my words, but knew too it was unlikely that he would not, trying to evade the nearly ethereal gaze unsuccessfully as his fingers tipped my chin up to his gaze, which reflected the bonfire crackling twenty or so yards away.

"If it were different, we would not be here having this conversation." he smiled slightly and leaned to press his lips to my forehead ignoring my shriek of surprise and the flinch - for all the times he had proven repeatedly that he didn't need to worry about being stung by my odd reaction to touch, I still expected it. "Instead of being sad, I would rather celebrate, not a season but a friendship and a beautiful relationship that isn't ending not really," he paused as tears stung my eyes at the reminder, "But changing out of necessity." he brushed the pad of a thumb across my eyes to wipe away the pooling moisture. "Come with me, away from all this we won't be missed," he leaned close to me and smiled, "The others have seen to that already that I will not be disturbed until after you are gone."

Gone. The knife in my chest twisted a little more, much as I knew it was twisting in Elrond's. I didn't want to, even knowing that the girls all needed me, damn it I had stumbled into a place that my life didn't totally suck - to my knowledge and experience there was no Camtamin or Soleil to screw up everything I'd just managed to wrangle from the world - and ... for the first time in more years than I wanted to calculate I could touch - and be touched by someone without experiencing excruciating, blistering pain or fearing to cause them the same.

"Thank them for me," I said at last when I dared speak instead of outright answering him I placed my hand into his and together we left behind the celebrating, content gathering of elves that were dancing, laughing, singing and just generally enjoying the whole evening. It had not been an unpleasant experience, the food was fabulous, the company was welcoming and yet something about it was extremely painful for me. It probably had to do with the fact that only a very precious handful actually knew that I was not going to share another holiday with them and it dug the knife in deeper with the next step I took with Elrond, knowing that it was the last evening I would very likely feel as close to normal as I ever would, ever could.

"Of course," Elrond's answer was murmured as his key slid into the door to his rooms, and I saw immediately why he preferred them when he visited his longtime friend. They were calming in shades of green that ranged from pale to the colors I associated with rich forests. The windows were open letting in the sight, breeze and the smell of the sea drawing my attention to it even as I heard the gentle sizzle of magic sealing the door and the vision of the great sea shimmered before righting itself causing me to turn my attention to the elf currently wrapping his arms around my shoulders again. "Just ensuring there is absolute privacy until late tomorrow," he murmured with a small smile as his attention was also turned to the moving water. "And, in the case of the windows... we can see out all others will see is a darkened, empty room."

He seemed to have covered the bases well enough, I had to admit as my attention turned toward the table to the side of the room with a rather large basket filled with various fruits, smoked meat and several larger flasks. I turned to examine it closer and recognized the handwriting on the folded parchment and flipped it open to read the message.

_Father and Raina,_

_ Our most sincere apologies for assuming, but it did not seem unreasonable to us to leave you both some supplies for tomorrow. If there is something you have need of, you know how to reach us. In the interest of fairness, we left a second basket in her rooms, in case you wanted to know. - Elladan and Elrohir._

"I think the others have been planning and working on this since we arrived." Elrond's voice startled me almost more than the fingers walking across my shoulders.

"I can't say that I am entirely unthankful for this," I answered with a smile folding the note from the twins back over, looking studiously over the contents of the basket, "It seems that each of them sought to offer some peace in an already difficult moment." I smiled faintly and looked up at him, "For all the flaws your children have milord you managed to teach them the most important lesson of all... that of compassion and selflessness."

"Thank you," he said simply smiling slightly as our hands half tangled in reaching into the basket, his coming up with one of the flasks of wine, while mine came up with two of the glasses thoughtfully provided. He turned away first and walked toward the large, thick rug placed before the fireplace for just such endeavors leaving plenty of room for me to do the same.

Expert fingers plucked the glasses from my trembling fingers, partly to spare them from falling to the rug but also to cover my fingers with his own as I let myself sink to the rug not quite willing yet to face the next evening's inevitability when I felt fingers lifting my chin so that even with half-closed eyes I could see his face and the mirror to my emotions written there as clearly as if I had written them with my own fingers. "I am sorry," I murmured believing at first that I were projecting my own feelings and receiving them back from Elrond who shook his head and instead I could see his intentional wrestle of his emotions almost a war on his face before the familiar calm, if underwritten with an echo of something much less calm washed through me sending a tremor up my spine. It was a relief to have had any time, I realized then just how much I had taken advantage of his ability to calm, to soothe even damnably stir my feelings when I didn't necessarily want them to be. I watched as his hands poured two small glasses from the flask - an ounce maybe a half more not nearly enough to impair either of our senses but enough to dull the ache we both felt.

"For what?" he inquired as I accepted the offered glass into my hands thankful for the simple task of holding the glass in them as he settled to looking at me and there was no ire to his voice or hurt, but genuine understanding, "You never had to be anything but yourself with me, I like to believe that the wildcat found a place to be less so." he raised the glass to his lips even though his eyes never left mine. "I don't regret the last months, and no matter what sunset tomorrow brings, I never will." he said setting aside his mostly untouched glass after only a few smaller sips, clearly having poured it out of habit than actual desire for the contents.

My chest constricted painfully as the last months played back for me, an tears bit my eyes as I realized just what I had allowed myself to tumble headlong into - impulsively which was so unlike me, and here... in a matter of hours I would have to tear out a heart much as my own had been before and I found myself unable to speak, but the tightening of his fingers around mine indicated he knew what I felt and could not say.

"Tears are tomorrow's," he said blinking hard as my emotions clearly hit him in the chest, "Tonight... is what happy dreams are made from if we allow it to be." he said quietly raising the glass in my hands to place it near its mate. "The sun be damned the hours you wish, of my time belong to you." he said in a whisper despite the fact that the sun waited for no man's wish and dream or need, two fingers placed themselves on my lips as I began trying to form words and after a racing heartbeat they were replaced by lips that teased mine, almost a plea to forget the morrow and live for a last evening, neither of us sure if that would be the last night I would ever be able to experience such a simple gesture as a kiss or someone so much as pull hair away from my eyes.

There was no urgency as I would have expected in each touch, instead there was patience - infernal unbendable patience that sent nerves ablaze with singing fire, and those not yet caressed shivering with raw anticipation. One kiss became two as necessity broke the contact with a trembling, barely audible sound from me, and the feel of a second hand sliding whisper-soft along my neck to cup the back of my head. In the midst of the second, longer kiss I felt his fingers find and toss away the tie keeping my hair mostly back from my face drawing a softer surprised sound as I was already discovering anew the damnation of becoming entangled with another empath - he returned my feelings as a mirror and yet I could feel equally intensely his own and that sent heat through me in a way that made the small fire seem too warm to be near.

Fingers danced on their own over clothing, wriggling underneath a piece at a time sending dizzying sparks up and down both of our spines in such a way that I was able to forget everything but the sensation dancing up my spine to tickle my other senses to match the spin that everything else augmented. Careful touch gave way to more wishful touch and clothing piece by piece formed a tangled pile abandoned for being maddeningly in the way this time a riot of color - his dark burgundy and tan against the greens I had picked that morning.

I heard a voice protest the break of contact and almost didn't realize it had been me until a softer tone reassured as much as the hand skimming up my thigh to wrap around my side and the moving ceiling of olive-toned flesh tilted so that the warmth of the fire licked and danced on my entire side and I found that I would manage only light glancing touches along his shoulder or through the thick hair dangling in a long curtain almost pleading it seemed to my pleasure-drunk mind for hands to wind into it. I saw my own fingers doing so in a needful touch that I heard my prize for it - the guttural sound, accompanied by the softer bite along my shoulder only encouraged instinct to override sense more with the passing moments. Soft skin ending in delicate points skimmed past my fingers and I realized that his head was in my hands again rewarded by the shuddered groan as my fingers traced the small limb again even as his hands relinquished their own deeds to spare his senses the dizzying spin.

I didn't want to see - I wanted to feel and I found that I was doing both in rapid dizzying tandem to the point that all that mattered was the next sensation, the next taste of what was there, that neither of us had desired to truly face until it was too late and left the recourse of showing and the longer fingers might've been that of a warrior first, had learned the patience of a healer certainly but every nerve caressed, teased and abandoned for the next sang of the torment and the demand for more when more didn't come I hissed in frustration only to hear the wicked reminder of what that more might be and the 'more' was swiftly revealed in deed so sweetly delivered that I was fairly sure the shades of green came alive in sparks around my field of vision.

Had I the voice I'd have protested the torment, though every time I tried, only a sound of pure response unfiltered and edged in a plea for more as his form slid past my fingers and each offered chance I dug in anywhere I could reach caught in a snare so thoroughly laced around both of us to be unavoidable when I heard the quiet growl of need roll past his lips which had been pressed to mine and my answer had been as needful as his was.

In those hours I was undone, unmade it felt as if every touch sparked anew needful desire I had managed to shut down since Midspring drawing ragged, choked sobs that clawed free of my chest as I saw his face swim into view again and the world spun in vivid color and undone there was only a minute... a heartbeat ... the feel of hands on skin before I realized his fingers had found mine and closed on them keeping them twined as close as he could as the world tilted and dropped out from under me again. All movement stopped for a tantalizing, nightmarish moment as my body and his met and twined in the deepest ways, tearing the plea from my lips as his fingers wound into mine intimately, dragging them to a rest near my head as my body arched and writhed on its own under his. Colors of every sort created a wicked, blinding kaleidoscope of light within which I became lost holding onto the moving tormenting shape above me out of my fear of falling apart into too many pieces. Words had little meaning though many danced past my ears in softer teasing, sometimes promises in the end as I held onto broad warm shoulders for what felt like forever and yet the sensation was gone almost too soon. One breath became two mingled with taste of him on my tongue and I could tell by the elf's responses he was experiencing the same bittersweet torture that I was, and exhaustion and relief from the built-up tension in both of us settled what felt like hours later, but was likely far less as I realized that I was curled using Elrond's chest for a pillow, and the elf's side as a source of unending heat as I could barely breathe let alone speak.

I saw the hazy, sated expression in grey eyes and the softer smile as we both managed to calm enough to even close to thinking in rational terms (rational.. right... the only rational move would have been to retreat to my own rooms in the Grey Havens) I felt his legs shift and the low chuckle that spoke of amusement as he sat up keeping me close still and the elf swayed with a shake of his head before shifting my weight despite my protest against the idea of getting up, of moving away from the luring heat of the fireplace, this time to move us to the more comfortable bed, with a soft, wicked taunted promise of what would greet the sun, tucked us into the blankets for a few hours of rest...


	20. Chapter 20

"No, abso-freaking-lutely not." Nikki refused to entertain the doctors' suggestion glaring at the group of about four of them, "You can say all you freaking want to about damage to the brain and this and that but I'm telling you she's not supported by those machines."

"All of the readouts from the last twenty-four hours indicate otherwise, except for maybe the brain activity but I do not think, in my expert," the doctor paused to place emphasis on the word expert, "Opinion she is not going to wake up again."

"You listen to me," Nikki's voice turned to a darker furious purr slapping her hands onto the tabletop in the conference room even as she felt Tommy's restraining hand on her shoulder leaning forward to stare into the doctor's eyes, "And you listen damn well and good. You're not paying the goddamn bill for her care, you're being paid to ensure that she has a fighting chance, and to be honest which I don't think you are about her actual condition. Furthermore a degree from a cracker jack box does not make you an expert!"

"Nikki, honey calm down." Tommy said in a calm, if tense voice, hoping that he could interrupt her rage long enough to get her to look over at him, "Skylar said that the best way would be to slack off the medication they've been giving her which is probably half of the issue anyway as sensitive to shit as Raina is and watch for the next twenty-four hours and if she comes up we'll know it was a medication thing if not... we have to let her go." he said softly watching the ripcord of emotion tear across Nikki's face.

"That might be the wisest suggestion, it cannot hurt." a second voice spoke up calmly, glaring at his counterpart, "Even experts don't know every possible response to every medication and if she's unable to climb out of the fog of it, it could be hindering progress."

"Then get going on it," Nikki demanded as the doctors rose to their feet and the second gestured for them to follow him as the first stalked off in a huff.

"Come on then, I want you to see just what I do, so that you know that we tried." the doctor said calmly as he opened the door to Raina's ICU room and began setting the machine, "First I am adjusting the strength of the IV fluids just saline for hydration." He added at Nikki's growl, "To help push the medicine through to the level I am aiming for," it was risky he knew to lessen the medication of a patient with in his estimation little hope of recovery, but for the hot-tempered blond he was willing to take a chance, "And now I'm lowering the other medication doses," he finished the settings and marked the time and the corrected dosages on her chart before looking at the pair, "I don't promise miracles but if I didn't believe in them I couldn't work in this field."

"Thank you," Tommy said with a worn smile, "Any hope is better than no hope."

"Indeed good luck." the doctor said exiting the room leaving them alone in the room with Raina's body.

"Come on, don't give up now." Nikki muttered willing her sister to wake up taking one of the icy cold hands into hers trying to warm them, "Please." the word was nearly a sob as she felt Tommy's arms around her shoulders pulling her backward gently causing her to drop the cold hand. "God, what if I'm wrong?" tears stung her eyes and fell freely, "What if I'm wrong?" she repeated as Tommy turned her around so that his wife had to look up at him.

"What if you're right?" he asked the direct countering question that Nikki needed to hear, "Believe." he said placing his left hand over the pendant he knew she wore under her shirt and he realized she wore Raina's. "Nikki, I've got an idea, can you get her pendant around her neck?" he asked suddenly.

"I I started wearing it when that moron doctor had a hissy fit over me giving it back to her." Nikki sniffled as Tommy began fishing for the clasp of it and removed the delicate chain.

"That doctor's an ass." he answered carefully closing the chain back around Raina's neck, tugging it gently to rest the pendant just under the fragile collarbone where it belonged and he knew it wasn't a miracle-worker but he knew the value of personal possessions, particularly those so closely tied to the Power. "Now we wait, the medicine will take time to diminish, Nikki but I believe in her still... just as you should." he said taking a seat and pulled her into his arms to wait, himself silently willing the stubborn woman to respond to the changes. _Damn you Raina don't you dare leave them alone yet they're not ready._ he fumed furiously to himself, _I can only imagine the nightmare that Willow and Kristina will become if you're not around to slap the stupid back out of them._


	21. Chapter 21

The machines were going off the charts and Nikki and Tommy were flattened against the wall of the small ICU room as it was overfull of staff and machines that were beeping and trilling painfully loud sounds.

"We're losing her!" one panicked shout rose over the din and the furious shout to the opposite as the heart-rate monitor protested the higher heart rate - one that Nikki knew already was in Raina's normal.

"Come on Sis," Nikki murmured urgently willing the fight that seemed to have come back to Raina's body to keep going, "Come back, damn it not now." Nikki's hands shot to cover her ears at the bloodcurdling shriek as several staff members with the misfortune of having contact with bare skin as Raina's full consciousness returned and she fought the binds - her hands were tied to the bed railing and her feet were the same currently sending her to a panic.

That wild panic jarred Nikki out of her stun of the shriek and catapulted her forward jostling between the twitching and trembling doctors and nurses. "No no no honey I'm right here stop." tears flowed unchecked even as triumph flowed through Nikki who shoved the doctor keeping her out of Raina's panicked line of sight, "I'm right here, its okay its okay," she repeated as she saw the absolute misery in Raina's face using a corner of the blanket to wipe at the streaking tears.

"Untie her goddamn it!" Tommy's voice joined the fray as Raina thrashed against the binds hindering his attempt to free one of Raina's wrists, "She's got a terror about that," he swore colorfully as the knot tightened in his fingers and he grabbed the first implement that looked like it would cut the fabric and snapped it before lunging to do the same freeing her hands as Nikki settled her.

"I want her off the machines. Now." Nikki said speaking clearly for Raina whose amber eyes were filled with panic and tears alike.

"Ten minutes," Skylar promised smiling at Nikki, "Promise, you, you, and you get out of here," she pointed at several of the nurses who scrambled to get out of the way.

As the din in the room settled Skylar smiled at Nikki and Tommy, "This part you two don't need to see I've got our wildcat you wait and I'll get her unlatched from so much machinery."

Nikki and Tommy both exited the room and tremblingly Nikki's hands dialed Destiny's cell phone not quite able to contain herself and her excitement at having Raina back. "Destiny, you're not going to believe this!" Nikki's voice rose several octaves as Destiny's voice met her ears.

"What - what - what?" She was feeling Nikki's jubilation and shouted almost into the phone.

"Raina's awake! My god Des we got her back!" Nikki's voice shook as tears threatened again, "The doctors can't believe it and Aunt Skylar's working on lessening the mass of machines she's hooked up to. I don't know the results of everything but Des she came back!"

"Keep talking, we're on our way," Destiny said smacking Jason's shoulder and pointed to the door to the hotel room...

"Father?" Elladan's cautious voice called from the door to Elrond's study peering inside as the other sat in his chair reading a piece of parchment, which wouldn't have been unusual but for the expression on the other's face as he finished - a mix of bittersweet pain and joy mingled again that he hadn't seen since he had adjusted to the absence of the small redhead.

"Come in, Elladan." Elrond answered putting it on his desk blinking softly a few times "I am all right."

"What were you reading?" Elladan asked closing the door behind him, betting against himself that it had to do with Raina.

"This," he answered as Elladan cautiously lifted the page and began reading.

_Elrond,_

_Thank you, for all that you are, for all that you gave to me, and for being stronger than I am when it matters most. I am sure if you are reading these lines, I am gone and the hole in your heart mirrors mine. Thank you again, for that strength, for sharing it with me for even just a little while. Please, forgive me what had to be done even though I would have given everything to not have to leave. _

_Love,_

_Raina._

"Whoa," Elladan breathed shuddering lightly, "She never said it before ... and to write it..."

"Is to own it." Elrond murmured with a nod turning his attention toward the window in his study, that faced Westward. "I hope she finds peace in her world as she did here."


	22. Chapter 22

/Author's Note:: Thank you kindly to everyone who had continued to read and review and inspire me to continue this tale - it's so fulfilling to know that others are enjoying the tale as much as I have enjoyed writing it. To Glory Bee - your reviews are wonderful and inspiring, and thank you for the reminder that I should add a bit more of the ME people(s) more than I did in Tidal Shift in the future. I can promise that there is MUCH more to come, both in Tidal Shift and in other tales already clamoring at my mind to escape. - silentdovesong

Chapter Twenty Two

_I could smell the salty-sea air around me, and the sharp tang nearly wiped away the earthy mystery of the figure before me, the pain mixed with the calm resolution as the male figure clad in long robes bent and pushed the boat I was standing in gently away..._

"Aunt Raina!" the chime of a voice ripped the whisper of a thought apart and I focused on the young girl currently tearing across the small hospital room and grunted softly as wily arms wrapped around my middle.

"Mandy don't shout," Nikki admonished trying vainly to keep Cayden from mirroring his sister's longer steps to pounce on both of us.

"It's all right," I managed a small smile, looking over at my sister. She had aged a bit in the stress of the last few weeks, and getting back to her own routine would be the best gift I could give, "She's fine," I said firmly cutting my eyes at Nikki's protesting look, placing a hand on her head. "Really."

"You don't look so fine," Nikki answered then brightened with a smile, "Brought you coffee I know they don't bring you enough for your liking."

My gaze turned beady and jealous, my sister was priming me for something I realized when I saw the to-go container being one of the large size, and clearly steaming hot by the way she was holding it, "And what part of my soul are you going to ask of me for it?"

Nikki sat down across from me, worry creasing her features, "You know probably better than the doctors do that your body took a beating in that storm, Sis." she hesitated, "You're not steady on your feet - they think that some of the debris from your ship slammed into your legs - and its going to take time for you to heal properly."

"Upwards of a year," I nodded breathing in the intoxicating, tempting scent of the coffee as I eyed her, "So why the big one?" I asked knowing as well that my sisters freely exploited my caffeine needs for their gain.

"Because, well Aunt Skylar said that it would be better for you to come stay with one of us, and since Tommy and I have the bigger house, with the spare room that you should stay with us again - at least until your leg's healed all the way."

I growled softly more irritated and not quite annoyed - it wasn't Nikki's fault that she had drawn the short straw on telling me this, "I don't want to intrude on anyone's life any more than my mere breathing intrudes and offends other people."

"But you don't," Nikki stressed patiently, as my hand inched toward the coffee, "And please, once your leg heals all the way I promise I'll back off."

I glared at her openly for several seconds, and scowled deeply, "You do realize this is half of why I wanted to be on the bloody boat in the first place - the not having my own place?"

Nikki sighed deeply having expected it to be a bit of a debate between her and I, before I would have few options and we both knew that too, "Look, it's not the burden you think it is having you staying with Tommy and I or with any of the others, well okay Willow and Kris act like it's the end of the world but to them it is because you're not tolerant of bullshit."

I gave her a variation of the evil eye, "What you're avoiding telling me is if I don't agree they're going to want me to stay until my legs have healed up more so that the doctor doesn't fear having his new fancy car be mine."

Nikki laughed despite herself shaking her head, "Boy you do cut to the wire don't you. But I'm not going to bother trying to wind around it because all that would delay is that coffee hit and you're scary without it, but yes. The doctors don't really want you by yourself for at least the first two weeks, and Aunt Skylar agrees so I'm inclined to too because she's not going to lie to either of us."

I snatched the coffee before Nikki could grab it first and took a sip of it glaring at her with a low snarl in my chest, "Great, so I'm back to being the fifth wheel, let's just get it over with." I said irritably as Nikki realized too late that I was by far not in the mood for it.

"Aunt Raina, are you all right?" I heard Mandy's voice interrupt my thoughts and blinked as I realized that I couldn't properly see the girl.

I managed a smile and reached to ruffle her hair preparing to lie through my teeth again, "I'm fine, little girl are you?" I tried to turn the question around on her even as I blinked harshly and had to swipe at my eyes with an arm.

"I'm good, but Auntie you don't seem like you're doing too good after that boat accident." Mandy protested climbing up onto the couch beside me. "You seem...sad somehow?"

"I don't know, kid that accident was pretty scary being stuck in a storm like that I just got really lucky I guess and I'm reacting to that."

"Mommy says not to pester you and I won't stay here long but what Uncle David tells me when I'm sad and I don't have the words to show it to find another way to get it out of my system. Maybe you should do the same."

Before I could react my precocious and eerily insightful niece bounced off the couch and darted off before I could find an appropriate way to respond. It was easy to say, and a whole lot harder to do when there wasn't even a definite reason to be upset or sad at all. And I wasn't sad, but I had an extremely intense sense of loss that was not explainable.

I had lost before - I had lost my family, my friends, any illusion of my fleeting innocence, my heart and my spirit yet I had the distinct feeling that something was missing from my life. I had my pendant - the focus for the Power, yet without it I was still exactly the same the pendant only made me happier because it was a throwback to a happier time for myself.

_What is going on with me?_ I thought to myself with a sense of confusion that had me reaching for the cane and got to my feet for another walk that would hopefully render answers to the questions that were only half formed for myself. _Am I going crazy?_

_He looks horrible._ Erestor thought bringing in, as had long been habit a tray of tea, and pastries though it was taking a fair bit of convincing for the cook to make them other than the few of them that were Elrond's favorites since Raina's absence. He set the tray down and placed a hand on Elrond's shoulder, squeezing it lightly to draw the moody gaze away from the window as he sat down to be eye-to-eye with the elf. "Would you take advice from an old friend?" Erestor asked gently, more than capable of reading through the mask of disaffection that the elf had placed over his emotions to hide the fact that he was hurting. At the slight nod, so slight in fact that had Erestor not been studying Elrond carefully it would have been missed. "Take a trip away - up to that old cabin you built to cope with Elros' death, and again when Celebrian chose to sail than to stay, there you do not have to be Lord of Rivendell - unaffected, compassionate and decisive. Go there and be the individual who just stabbed himself in the heart."

Elrond shook his head, not willing to walk away from the city he loved not when a great many of his most recent happiest moments were within the city walls. "I can't do that."

"You can." Erestor disagreed quietly studying him, "And you must my friend. You haven't managed to let go of the fact she's really gone, more you hate the fact that you were instrumental in it even when you didn't want to."

Elrond eyed him with a slightly annoyed expression, "There is much that needs to be done, and orders to be given," he stopped speaking as the other elf sighed deeply.

"Few, my friend are as aware of this as I am." Erestor tried for a gentler tone, knowing that confrontation was only going to raise Elrond's hackles more, "Trust me, as you did when we were boys," he urged Elrond, "As I did you when I was unsure of my path a millennia ago with Fin, when I say you need to take the time and mourn what is not, and let the joy of a year settle and feed your spirit to continue on there is much yet we must do together you and I."

"I do not know how long I will be gone if I do leave for the cabin," Elrond said quietly twirling the quill in his fingers, resisting the urge to stab it into Erestor's hand, "Or if I will want to return."

"I can shoulder your burdens, and I am more than certain that my assistant will be a capable assistant when I require the extra hands," Erestor's tone was calm, soothing as he eyed Elrond gently, "Take the time you need my friend or it will cripple you and that I am sure when you need it least."

Elrond mounted the horse, laden with fresh supplies and his own added weight, the beast a large twenty-two hands stallion the color of the night sky, with a spirited temper barely shifting as the elf settled himself for the journey to his cabin. It was in a sheltered glade, yet it was not in a patrolled area, deliberately so. He had built it by hand years before, in the immediate months after his identical twin, whom had honored their human heritage had inevitably and with great age died. It was a representation of grief, of pain and it was solace for no other came there but him. The other elves respected his need for privacy - loss was no stranger to his family - from the beginning it seemed that Elbereth - the Star-Kindler herself both smiled and wept of their fate when the souls of an elven maiden and that of a mortal man had met and fallen for each other. Despair was no stranger either, he knew for to know what it was to love, and be loved one knew despair.

He opened the door and let himself inside, setting down the bags he carried and began for a few minutes the process of airing out the cabin to remove the smell of dust and disuse needing the busy work to retain his composure. The fire crackled soothingly, as the smell and sound were for him, a natural comfort nearly as much as the waters of the river that bordered his made home. His beloved Imladris was the haven for others, but this... small two-room cabin was his own haven. Here he could breathe, and let down the guard that protected his friends, his children from his emotions. His remote, compassionate mask collapsed before the fireplace reminded in the flickering flames of hair as vibrantly hued and the woman the length was born to.

There were no sobs that would come, as his hands covered his face for the grief was still to raw to be expressed in sound, but the stabbing pain of it and of the memories which floated to the surface of his mind. He could still sometimes catch the faint whisper of her scent - of a woman not quite tamed, not that he wanted to tame the wildness, but the quiet strength that he admired masked the vulnerable younger self - that too he had related to more than others had guessed.

She had been a comfort, and a reminder that not all was lost in the mortal races, that somewhere a spark of the spirit he had once thought of the youngest of races possessed slumbered waiting for a chance to burn brightly in the night of despair. He missed their quiet debates already - the woman had a quick, clever mind and valued the same things that he had which had been a riddle unto itself.

More, he realized raising his head to stare into the flames, not aware, nor caring how much time passed; he missed the woman that had, in her existence challenged him to look past the flaws of the mortal races and see that perhaps that the coming darkness could be defeated by them, if only there were more people like the strange redhead whose life had crashed into his.

Elrond stared into the flames, wondering if Raina had truly managed to get home, to the sisters she was clearly devoted to and if she was well or enduring the same, often spiraling sense of loss and despair he was trying to climb back out of in order to continue his lifetime, knowing that there were yet ages before him that would be needed to be seen.

I watched the flickering flames in the fireplace at my sister's house the glass of cider untouched in my hand. It was a rare evening for me - to be left alone while the Olivers were all at a family dinner at my insistence. I felt enough like the outsider in their lives, the intruder and I wanted them to be able to function as a family without me as I had no intention of truly staying with my sister and her family forever.

I knew why the fire was such a lure for me, it was one of the few remnants of home, of my fallen Phaedos that was the same everywhere you went. Fire burned, water cooled and both meant life and death. Water had nearly been my death a month before, and I respected the ocean, and yet I was already feeling the pull back to it as if something I had lost was somewhere in the mysterious depths.

I had vague images dancing before my eyes in the flames, which both stoked the bitter loneliness I felt, and exacerbated the sense of loss that I couldn't explain even to myself. Nikki, who was as forthright as the summer sun would only dance around my questions of what had happened during the two weeks of my coma that I had only fractions and dreams? Memories? I couldn't be sure anymore but I did not doubt for a minute that something had happened because my second-youngest sister looked guilty every time I mentioned it which was a sure-fire Nikki tell on trying to be deceptive.

If Nikki was aiming for deception, that meant that she knew something that I probably needed to and fast since Nikki was normally as transparent as glass. I just didn't understand or know where to begin on unraveling the mystery that was what happened, or didn't happen during the two weeks that I had lost.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

"What is this?" Erestor bent down in the surf as he was taking a walk to try to clear his head, taking advantage of the fact that Glorfindel stood silent sentry by Elrond's door knowing that their longtime friend did not wish to see anyone, except for his children. Sunlight glinted off of a shining silver chain and he lifted it, and the sight of the pendant caused a deep frown to crease his features. "Now, this will not do." he said making up his mind to go against his usual method of live and let live; not when it came to family and Elrond was nearly a brother. _This will take a delicate touch._ he mused and hurried to find a box to send it back to its proper owner, his steps already lighter for the decision.

Within a few minutes the necklace was boxed up and he eyed the contents and smiled faintly, opting for cryptic as he picked up the quill and wrote a note and set it over top of the necklace and closed the box. He knew just how to address it, saying a small prayer to the Star-Kindler that the package would arrive as it was supposed to, his steps led to the Shipwright.

"You have a package for the Shores?" Cirdan asked puzzled, and looked at the top of the box and frowned, "This is not for Valinor?"

"No," Erestor lowered his voice, as the door to Elrond's rooms opened, "But it is urgent and he must not know it ever met our shores," he said urgently passing the box to Cirdan, "Just get it there, for his sake." he said and hurried away leaving Cirdan to look again at the writing on the box and recognition flared across the elderly elf's features and a small smile creased his lips.

"Sometimes having a thankless job becomes a pleasure, as this is a most unusual passenger." he mused and set it down out of the way while waiting for the night's embarking passengers though their aim wasn't the mortal realm of the stranger but for the white shores of Valinor, where he hoped to not see some of his friends ever go.

At dark, just as the brightest star twinkled from behind marring clouds Cirdan raised his hand to Earendil with a smile, knowing that while the lord loved to fly his ship across the sky, his journey would this night mirror that and with the blessing of the lady of the White Tower, the package would be sent.

Elwing, he saw her standing beside the elf their hands bound together as Cirdan stepped off the boat and carried with him his staff and the box given him by Erestor, "What news do you bring us? Is he well?" Elwing looked troubled, her hair as dark as her son's and her grandchildren's with eyes a clear blue to their grey.

Cirdan shook his head gravely, "Not yet but there is hope yet for your son. I come only for a moment to share with a request of a blessing," he hesitated and for the next few minutes gave a brief, and annotated explanation of the last year of their remaining son's life.

"What of us would you ask, old friend?" the elven male peered at the bearded elf his hands clasped firmly in his beloved's thankful that each day she would welcome him home, knowing at the sun's banking he would fly across the sky with the Jewel of Feanor bound to his forehead.

"Your blessing, and if possible your aid, for my path, my task from the Valar is that of guiding our people home, not of taking back that which belongs elsewhere to where it belongs."

"I will do it," the paler man spoke with quiet conviction, "He does not know it is here?" there was concern in his voice, as Cirdan shook his head at him.

"No, Erestor, his friend and often advisor found it before the Sea could claim it, and brought it to me."

"If what you say is true, and part of him went whence this child of Eru went to her it must go again." Elwing said and for a moment the small hands carefully unbound the package and gasped at the contents her gaze softening as she looked up at Earendil. "If you will not take it, my beloved I will.."

"No," Earendil bent to kiss her temple brushing dark hair back behind her ear, "I will ensure it can arrive unknown how that two souls can have a measure of peace for a time even if never again together can they be."

"There is ever hope, my friends, but I must return and take back with me a lighter heart that your son's spirit can recover from this blow."

"Tell him, when you see him that we are forever looking out for him, his father from the skies and me over the water," Elwing said as the elderly, bearded elf turned back to his boat and Earendil and she began preparing for the unusual burden.

"Of course, my lady and to your tower you both should return till tomorrow night's arrival and take the time you may have." Cirdan smiled gently over his shoulder and turned to study the pair a moment, "And your grandchildren as always send their love, and hope that their family on this shore has their peace."

"And we do," Elwing saiid smiling slightly, "Tell them so when you see them."

The light of Earendil was especially bright that night, and the Mariner whom was the light hovered in the sea-heavens above the land a beacon of hope for all the children of The One, and his pale gaze hovered upon one hunched-over figure bearing hair which matched the sky around the bright light, _[Look up to me, my most beloved child, and find the hope you need...my son.]_ Earendil willed silently watching the figure with a lingering sadness for the child he had watched from afar had suffered much.

"I love you my son," Earendil said aloud, though no word would reach the elf on the ground looking up at him and in response to the raised hand in greeting he would shine the light a little brighter before he sailed behind a cloud, aware that his son indeed needed something to believe in, murmuring to himself, "if you believe in nothing else believe in the Light of the One in that we are not given more than our spirits can endure." he said to himself and headed toward the shore of the mortal man and dropped off the box where it would be sure to arrive to the young lady in question.

Earendil, Gil-Estel [Star of Hope], North Star in his ship Vingilot hovered in the night sky as he did every night in the same place the bright glimmer of the Jewel on his forehead drew many to gaze but this night he was searching for only one face among the many in the precious few hours that were available for that opportunity.

_Ah there you are, seems my son is not the only one who cannot sleep this night._ Earendil thought to himself watching the small figure walking at a brisk pace along the tree line, aided by a cane - strange the Shipwright had not mentioned that - but he would take that into account later. She didn't look well, not in the pale starlight at least, he reasoned, too thin and her eyes looked from what he could see of them troubled.

He followed the figure from afar, mindful to not be seen by the small, limping woman and dropped the box onto the porch where might be found come sunrise. "May it be the spark which ignites the fire in your spirit young one."

_Perhaps something might yet be done._ he thought to himself turning to continue the night's sailing back to the white shores, met as he always was by his beloved.

"How was your journey?" he heard her voice and smiled down to Elwing.

"Most productive my beloved," he answered with a small smile, "And I hope that we chose correctly in our decision to deliver a package and that no further ill befall it."

/Author's Note: I hope you all understand what happened here :) If not please review or PM me with opinions or suggestions. That package plays a huge part in the next chapter and no I'm not telling how you'll just have to wait for me to finish editing. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed!


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

_"Awaken, my dear you are dreaming."_ The voice was faintly familiar, and possessed in it a comforting tone which had cut through the throes of the nightmare and I sat up with a gasping, ragged cry.

My door popped open as my eyes focused to find Nikki's head swimming into view, "Are you all right? I heard you shout when I got up to go to the bathroom."

"What time is it?" I asked ignoring her question as I rubbed at my face trying to shake off the remnants of the nightmare that had my night shirt sticking to my skin.

"Just say six in the morning, do you want to get up or try to sleep?" Nikki asked watching me as I heard the someone walking around behind her.

"Might as well get up, not like I really want to try dreaming that again." I muttered shuddering once brushing at my shoulder where I could still feel a defiling hand on it even though there was none.

"I'll see if Tommy's hit the coffee pot yet or not." Nikki said ducking back out of my room which gave me a chance to strip off the drenched night clothes and put on something that wasn't going to cling to me like static cling-on.

Five minutes later I padded out of the bedroom slowly, using the wall at times for balance, clipping my hair out of my face as I did, trying to shake off the sleepy feeling that was plaguing me almost as closely as the certainty that I did not want to return to the land of dreams.

The rich, dark smell of coffee caught my attention in an instant and I detoured toward the pot finding in my way a sleepy, yawning Tommy who wisely poured the first mug and slid it toward me giving me ample room to grab the sugar and creamer before carefully heading toward the table and sat down studying Nikki in the dim lighting.

"Another dream?" she ventured cautiously as I glared into the coffee mug trying to place the voice that had drawn me out of the dream-state.

"Yes." I replied curtly raising the mug to my lips to take a deep pull of it, "I can't make heads or tails of it and this time I heard someone tell me to wake up - and it wasn't me."

Nikki's eyes were wide, but she recovered quickly, "Well you've said it yourself you and my dad were close, and several of the mentors he led you to stay in touch maybe it was one of them."

I narrowed my eyes as Tommy sat down next to Nikki at the table trying, vainly to wake up from the early start to his day, "Little sister it's a good thing for you that I'm not awake enough for bloodshed because that's one of the biggest lies you've tried to tell me to date."

Tommy cleared his throat, quite obviously his mind was on the children, "I'm sure if Nikki wasn't truly honest - and I don't know if she was or wasn't - that it was for the best of intentions."

Nikki sighed as I finished my cup and twirled it in my hands, "Look, I do know a lot more than I'm allowed to say - it's like when someone gets a bump on the head and they don't know how it happened but they remember later? Same thing, Aunt Skylar said to let it come back to you when it's time to not before then."

I growled silently to myself, deeply annoyed and aggravated with both of them and equally unwilling as he was to risk waking the children. "I don't need lectures on head injuries and stress-related memory blocks or dream blocks or whatever the blooming hells this is." I hissed at her "I already had those lectures once, I assure you I don't need them from you."

"I'm sorry, really I am I just can't blurt it all out, it would be wrong, particularly since I don't know what all happened." Nikki said getting up from the table and headed into her bedroom closing the door.

_Pretty defensive there kid,_ I thought to myself as Tommy wisely remained silently sipping his coffee for several minutes which left me stewing on this confusing riddle of what did, or didn't happen during the two weeks I couldn't remember anything clearly but emotions and not all of them were ... casual.

"She means well, and its driving her crazy, not being able to talk to you about it." Tommy said quietly after about five or six minutes and my second cup of coffee well on its way to being finished.

"You should try missing two weeks of your life, probably due to the coma." I retorted frostily.

"I do kind of know how that feels, I had much the same sensation when Rita had me under her spell as the Green Ranger years ago, and I'd have homework I had no idea what I was doing, or I'd have made my parents mad and have no idea so I do understand to a point. When you're ready to deal with it all, probably on an emotional level you'll get it all back." He said reassuringly, "But I have to get going if I'm going to be on time today, no sense in running behind the eight ball from the beginning." he said getting to his feet to gather his lunch, and his briefcase.

"I'm going to reasonable you right into next month," I muttered crossly before getting up to head back to the bedroom to lay back down wincing as I put weight on my ankle.

I must have slept a few hours because the next thing I knew there was a lot of commotion in the main room and I blinked rubbing my eyes as I saw that Destiny, Jason and their children were visiting and yawned trying to tone down the commotion in my head long enough to figure out what was going on.

"Hey sleepy, I was beginning to think you were going to sleep the whole week away." Destiny said shooing Jayden off of the couch so that I could sit down.

"No, not the week, today apparently." I answered setting the cane I hated down beside me, rubbing at my eyes trying to wipe the blurriness away as the smell and sight of a coffee mug hit my senses in tandem.

"Here," Nikki said holding it out for me, "Before your brain decides it would rather sleep, hit it with this," she continued looking over to Tommy, "Hey make sure that the door's open David was coming in from the reservation today since to quote your brother he doesn't get to see any of us often enough and I think the free food cinched it."

I felt little fingers in my hair and twisted my head to try to figure out whose fingers I was feeling and if they were sticky or not and could have laughed finding that Mandy was untangling it with her fingers. "You're lucky little girl I don't jump like I used to when someone's behind me."

"You wouldn't hurt me," Mandy's cool matter-of-factness was so much like her mother I had to stifle the laugh as I realized that she had dragged a chair over for Caitlyn who wasn't tall enough to see over the couch, "And don't worry I flipped the chair 'round so Cait's got a hand hold." _Little girl you have way too much of your momma in you._ I thought smiling a bit.

"Just don't pull it, okay." I had a habit of indulging children, particularly my sisters' children in their whims.

"Auntie Raina's not old." the protest from the smaller girl had me nearly spitting coffee back into the mug partly from the stricken look on Destiny's face as the girl protest, "Only old people got white in their hair."

"Well Aunt Raina does, and Momma says I'm supposed to leave it alone." Mandy retorted and I had to suppress the laughter focusing on taking another sip of my coffee, "Though I can't quite argue that there's more white in her hair than there was."

"Hey," Destiny recovered enough to gently chide her daughter, "I know I tell you to be honest but there's honesty and then there's being rude."

"But Mama!" Caitlyn's voice pitched to nearly a wail.

"It's okay," I interrupted the mother-daughter quarrel not quite suppressing the laughter in my voice, "There probably is more white in my hair than there was with the stress of the accident and then being unwell for so long," _and I'm pretty sure something or other with my emotions went down during it all cause at least the kids' touch isn't enough to drop both of us, only me._ I added silently as there was a knock on the door.

"Nikki, dear would you come here a moment?" Tommy's head appeared in the door he'd just exited to help David bring in the rest of the picnic supplies.

When they didn't appear for several minutes I shooed the girls off of my hair and got to my feet, hating that I had to use the cane to move around the furniture in Nikki's house to exit the front door. I wasn't moving with the agility or speed I was accustomed to so I was already tiring when I reached where they were standing with David arriving just as Destiny and Jason were ushering the kids outside to play in the yard on the swing set.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I inquired mildly, watching their slightly guilty expressions coolly quite aware that a silent debate was raging, even without my ability to feel other people's emotions because they all had a slightly guilty expression on their faces.

"We were considering whether or not to show you this," Nikki opted for honesty taking the package from Tommy's hands to show me, "One, you're barely even recognized here I mean the neighbors know you're my sister and that's about it... but apparently that's not the case after all."

"Hold onto it, I don't really need to open any booby-trapped boxes." I answered nervously all too aware and suspicious about the box and afraid to know what it was.

"Come on, take a walk with me you might change your mind we'll keep it in the house for now." Nikki said smiling slightly at me, as if she was not sure what I was so afraid of.

"Don't be gone long," Tommy admonished, "It'll be lunchtime soon so I've got to get the grill going or the kitten there'll decide I'm on the menu rather than the cheese burgers and hot dogs."

"It won't take long," Nikki promised as she and I began walking together slowly measuring her strides to keep pace with my slowed one, "Do you remember anything after the water crashing into the boat?"

"Nothing that makes sense," I answered frowning, "I think I told you about what I think happened, or maybe I dreamed?" I shook my head and sighed looking at the box in my hand, "Now I'm more confused than ever."

"Yeah, you've said that you were having odd dreams, and that they didn't have the dream-feel you're used to." Nikki nodded tilting her head at me, "Who's to say they weren't memories, Raina I don't know and its locked up in your head and frankly even if I could I wouldn't want to know your darkest secrets."

_Little sister you have no idea how true that is. Nobody needs to know the darkest secrets in my brain._ I thought to myself as my attention went between my sister and the pendant, quite sure that there was something very important that I was forgetting and I was going to be running circles in my own head until it was riddled out.

_God, this is hard please tell me I'm doing the right thing not just blurting it all out. Even if I thought she'd believe me it wouldn't be right, I hope. _Nikki thought to herself smiling slightly as I eyed her, "Look, Nikki its hard enough that I don't know what's gone on with me, and I know even less what is going on with me. Between the dreams and the moments I am never sure which is real or not. I am sure it will all reveal itself in time." I said not at all convinced of this idea myself.

"There is always that hope," Nikki agreed smiling though I could sense that she was holding back what she knew on a deeper level. _I'm so sorry, I hate having to watch her question and doubt is driving me insane..._

"There has to be something, Nikki for all of us or life simply isn't worth living through anymore," I answered her staring at the box again and the feel of a memory too fleeting and to gauzy to be anything but a dream as I shook it off.

"I'm sure you'll remember and be able to make sense of everything when you're better all the way." Nikki asserted with a smile, that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Maybe," I answered doubtfully, "Or it's something else altogether that I couldn't remember..." I said frowning slightly at her.

"Let's go rescue the grill from your taller half huh before we eat shoe leather like last time."

Nikki laughed almost despite herself at my comment to the grill, "Okay now I know you're back to yourself a little more when your mind goes from puzzling over something to food. Come on then let's get you where you can boss the boys easily and have ready access to anything you want."

"Wow, that looks ... well like it belongs." Destiny said as we arrived back in the yard tilting her head much the way Nikki had to study the stone, "Whoever had that made, really knew how to make a striking piece of jewelry."

Within a few minutes there was the chaos of food preparation finalizing and plates were being prepared for the four kids, it seemed surreal for a moment to me, to watch my sisters, two of the three youngest in fact of the five of them taking care of their children. I was strongly reminded of another time in which I had done the same for them, but more for the baby, Autumn. I watched with some amusement as Mandy was more taking over the fixings of her own plate, asserting her right as the oldest child to pick more of what she wanted and I wasn't able to quite stifle my amusement at the aggrieved look on Nikki's face as Mandy refused the potato salad in favor of more of the cole slaw and macaroni salad instead.

"Nikki, if that's what she wants right now go with it," Tommy suggested offering one of his more endearing smiles, "Besides she'll probably go back for more later so don't worry about it so much."

"Speaking of things to worry about rather than what a kid's not eating." Destiny spoke up quietly, "Can you believe this time next year we'll be planning a graduation party for Autumn?"

"Oh wow." Nikki said wide-eyed, "I haven't seen her in years, I probably wouldn't recognize her."

"She'd know you." Destiny said reassuringly, smiling as she knew why Nikki had kept her distance from Autumn, "You look the same other than maybe a little heavier in the hip and less apt to shoot your mouth off over nothing."

Nikki crossed her eyes at her twin and I laughed despite myself as their constant, playful bickering was always a relief and a respite from the competitions that Willow and Kristina insisted upon having on a constant basis. I knew there was strife between the sets of twins and I had yet to dig to the root of that particular problem though I had a strong suspicion that there was more than any of them were telling me about it. "Boy aren't you just the flatterer." she said sarcastically.

"Autumn looks pretty much the same too, only taller and more apt to hide when someone yells than what any of us are." Destiny said thoughtfully and pulled out her phone, "I was able to talk her into a picture so I could show Jason just how much she'd grown up - it's hard to equate the plump preteen with the young lady we have now for a sister." she said her fingers flying across the touch-screen phone and turned it around so that we could peer at the small screen.

Autumn had the same combination of features that we all shared to varying degrees - dark chestnut hair that sat around her shoulders in a cascade of waves, framing a face that was heart-shaped and had the same high forehead as our mother's, eyes a steady mocha brown looking into the camera lens amused and laughing. Autumn wasn't built as sturdily as their father, favoring I could see in the slope of her shoulders the slighter build that Dulcea had passed down to several of us. "Almost all grown up on us and we missed it." I heard Jason's comment and smirked faintly.

"Children do have a pesky habit of growing up when you're not ready for them to." I answered lifting my glass to my lips, "I haven't seen Autumn since she was a little girl," I said thoughtfully, "Which is better I think since it kept her off Camtamin's radar more."

"It did, but it cost you a relationship you both wanted, she asked if I'd seen you lately." Destiny said, putting her phone away, "You ought to try reaching out sometime, she doesn't bite I promise."

It was tempting to reach out to the child I had known, and had let go of to save her from the destruction that I knew Camtamin was more than capable of. Autumn was more mind once, as an infant and later, had cried hardest when I had, alongside their parents split them among ranger families to keep them sheltered quite certain that the Power would draw them back together when they were needed.

And it had, but damage was done, the older twins were spiteful and bitter over the fact that despite being younger, Destiny and Nikki were stronger and possessed greater leadership skills - Nikki's natural take-charge personality had made her a born leader and her soft center let her be able to make mistakes and know when to let someone else take the bull by the horn.

"I have that email -thing you two set up you can get that to her and we'll go from there." I decided, realizing that I just wasn't ready to face Autumn in person when I wasn't at nearer to full strength, not when the image she had was that of an invincible individual. I was neither infallible or invincible and the sea had taught me that.

"Sure I can do that once I eat, it'd be good for both of you besides she'll tell you stuff she won't tell us." Destiny answered easily as she picked up her hot dog to take a bite out of it.

After lunch I stretched out on one of the lounge chairs in the shade of the old oak tree and listened to the game of Frisbee that they were all playing together, and enjoyed their laughter letting my eyes close partly warm from the mid-day sun and the fact my stomach was comfortably full again. I must have dozed off at some point because their voices melted into one softer not-quite familiar masculine voice, that lured me with a soothing tone, and promises of something I didn't quite dare to believe in, into the deeper recesses of sleep where dreams, wish and memory become mixed and mingled in such a way that reality can become skewed and confusing.

_There were trees all around me, wild and free as any ancient forest, and there were voices singing, both animal and human-like but too sweet, too floating to be that of a mortal man or woman and I wandered along the paths marked by patches of dirt and leaves fallen from the trees but not to die, as I could see too acorns and pinecones and apples and all other sorts of seeds that would one day become more trees if left to nature's devices. I happened across a river too wide to cross and too deep to risk swimming with its brisk current and on the other side I could just make out over the foaming water's rushing by a figure standing there hand raised high in greeting, illuminated by the morning-sun penetrating the trees boughs..._

"Raina!" I heard the voice calling my name and spun around to find it and felt as if I were being shaken somehow when no one was near me to shake me "Raina, wake up." I heard and felt the rising panic in the voice as I sat up shaking my head and felt dampness on my cheeks blinking up at Nikki whose hands were on my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" she asked letting go of my shoulders as I shoved at her putting my feet on the grass the tickle of it through my sandals grounding me a bit.

"Yeah, why is something wrong?" I asked looking up at her as I wiped my face of the sleep, and the dampness looking at my palms for a moment.

"I was hoping you could answer that," Nikki answered gently, "Were you dreaming?" She asked sitting down next to me as I tried to clear my head enough to think.

"I must've been, I remember watching you all playing that game, and the laughter and the next thing I know I must've been sound clean asleep because everywhere I looked there were trees - like big trees almost like Phaedos was once but ... calmer than the wild that home ever was - and I got to a river I couldn't cross and the water foamed from the current... and I saw someone, well I think I saw someone on the other side waiting there but I can't be sure ..." I trailed off looking past her where I could still half see the river, and the figure beyond it, "I just wish I understood what was really going on here."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Five

"What happened to you?" the shock was evident in the feminine voice a mix of horror and shock in a voice I didn't recognize truly but the face and eyes I did recognize in an instant as I looked up at my youngest sister smiling slightly.

"Got in a fight with the sea and lost." I answered wryly not realizing at first that it truly was the last sibling I had ever expected to find at Nikki's limping around her but not before patting her shoulder, careful not to come into direct contact with her skin.

I could sense Autumn's frown as I limped toward the chair I preferred, setting the cane down casting a distasteful look at it before bending to massage my calves, "No, really what happened to you?" She said sitting down on the ottoman near my feet so that we were nearly eye level, "You look... tired."

I offered a wan smile and eyed her, "I just got home from the longest fifty minutes of every other day at therapy trying to rebuild my body after a two-week coma, give me an hour, a snack and maybe a cat nap and I'll be back to business as usual." I tried for light hearted sarcasm.

"Sure and next you'll tell me I'm the monkey king," Autumn retorted mildly, "I was surprised to see you're still here, I mean any time you got hurt or your emotions did the tilt-a-whirl Dad always came and took you away before I even got to see you..."

I eyed her carefully able to see her worried darker eyes through my lashes and the sticky fringe of the front of my hair, "I told him no." I said simply looking to Autumn quietly and lowered my voice. "I don't remember anything from the last wave that tore my boat to hell and waking up attached to what seemed like a hundred machines and Nikki's been weird since."

"Nikki's been weird for like ten years," Autumn answered with a light snort, "Since like her second year of college, I got over it."

I smiled faintly and eyed her, "Move it or you're going to be wearing my feet." I remarked mildly letting the topic of Nikki's weirdness drop.

"Hey now," Autumn jumped off the ottoman and looked at me, "Seriously, I mean it one day she was coming around me and then she was gone, did I do something wrong?"

"I'm quite sure not," I said soothingly, "And as I understand it you're almost done growing up and then it'll be your decision what you do what you don't and who you see and who you don't." I was calm as I stretched my feet out, "So how'd you come to be out here? If you and Nikki don't see each other."

"I did it." Destiny said from the doorway coming in carrying in several empty sports drink bottles, "Lied like hell to do it, cause her adopted parents are stupid, but that's never stopped me before. Squirt there's been driving me nuts about getting to see you for weeks."

"And since they went away for the weekend, it was a perfect opportunity to see people I don't normally get to see. Usually I get stuck with Willow and Kris and they're just mean half the time about everybody and I'm about tired of listening to it."

"Don't let it get you down, they might be older than us, but that doesn't mean they grew up yet." Destiny said bitterly then brightened, "Let the kitty get a nap and then we'll all go play with the kids." she suggested as I yawned tired from the trip to the therapist's office.

"Here," Autumn said spreading out the blanket over me as I stretched into the chair with a silent sound, "I'll be here till Sunday so we'll get time I hope."

"We will," I promised her, "And I won't be unwell forever."

_I sat up and looked around me, blinking as the door opened, and a male figure clad in a deep blue robe entered and I was puzzled, "Am I in the right place?"_

_ The smile was slight, amused on a face both youthful and aged framed with long, black hair, "I'm quite sure you are, yes. Coffee?" he asked innocently holding up the mug in his left hand._

_ Coffee sure sounded good to me and I reached to take it my fingers grazed his skin, and I didn't have the terrible jolt of pain and he didn't appear either to and I was wide-eyed and surprised, "What..."_

_ "Much you do not understand little wild-cat." the male answered gently, "Much you are not going to for awhile."_

_ "Great even my subconscious is a sarcastic, cryptic bastard." I muttered to myself before taking a sip of the mug the contents hot enough to scald my tongue. "If this is a dream, well I could do without the painful touch-thing."_

_ "It is a dream," the male answered with a gentle smile, raising the mug he'd had in his right hand to his lips. "A very good dream, I think and I am glad you are dreaming it. Do you remember who I am, Raina?" he asked carefully watching my face, a little too closely._

_ I didn't and I shook my head even as his hand brushed several strands of hair back away from my face, "I think I should, but ... I don't remember, I am sorry..."_

_ "No matter, for I am just a memory born out of a want, a need perhaps." he answered easily, placing a hand on my shoulder, "But it doesn't matter, not for now I am just glad to be able to be here at all."_

_ The hell it doesn't matter. "Easy for you to say, you're not in someone else's bed." I remarked not even sure where in hells that came from flushing as the implication of what I had just said struck me._

_ "Touché." he remarked easily the smile mild, unflustered to my surprise, "But neither are you, we haven't much time I fear you will awaken soon and our talk forgotten as quickly as the sun rises,"_

_ "But - what have I forgotten?" I asked as the figure turned a deceptive strength in the slight frame to gently push me back into the blankets and tucked them around me bending to press a soft kiss to my temple, waiting until the tension left before breaking contact._

_ "You already know that which you have forgotten, Raina it is still in here" the long fingers rested against my temple before moving to rest over my heart grey eyes holding steady mine, "And here." he finished, "I must leave you here, I am sorry we are out of time... You must awaken." he said backing away with a layer of regret to his features, "I am sorry..." _


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six

"We can't keep this from her, it wouldn't be right." I heard Destiny's protest as I came around the corner and stopped to survey the five of them carefully.

"Can't keep what from whom?" I inquired coolly, coming around the corner into the kitchen where five guilty faces looked back at me, the front door opened in order to see the kids playing in the yard on the next afternoon in the sun.

Autumn clearly sided with Destiny as she got out of her chair and moved to one further around the table and as she did, I could see there was a plain brown paper wrapped box sitting on the tabletop. "Tommy found this in the yard today, by his Jeep, and they're debating whether to keep it from you or not."

_Really now, how interesting._ I thought to myself as I cocked my head to the side shaking my hair out of my eye as I did, "Well if its addressed to me, wouldn't it be smarter to just give it to me?"

"Well, there's no postmark, or even anything but your name - first name only - and sent in care of Nikki Oliver." Tommy pointed out, "There's a few unfriendlies that know you're here."

"Right, might I remind you the biggest unfriendly I know doesn't send me packages unless you count putting his ugly face in my breathing space," I reminded him a bit annoyed that they would actually try to hide something that clearly someone, somewhere wanted me to receive.

"Well she's got a point there," Destiny pointed out with a grimace, "Granted I could go another ten, twenty years without seeing that particularly nasty face again."

"Don't even remind me," I remarked as I sat down in Autumn's vacated seat and eyed the plain box, "Well the only way I'm going to know what it is, is to open it." I was a bit apprehensive about it but I reached for the box.

"You really wanna do that?" Tommy asked putting his hand between mine and the box and I found myself suddenly irritated at him.

"Look, it's not a bomb, it would have already gone off, and I don't think anyone who hates me really wants me dead because who then do they harass and harangue?" I snapped batting at the air around his hand until he moved it and I could reach the box, surprised at the lack of weight to it, pulling it closer to my seat and peered at the top.

It looked remarkably plain, the paper was no different from the brown bags Nikki and Tommy sometimes brought in from the market, and wrapped around the box to hide the contents completely, and as they had described, the writing on the top was written my name, and underneath it Nikki's with the address yet ...no post mark or delivery stamp which I mulled over as I began peeling the paper away, frowning slightly as the box underneath the paper seemed familiar but I wasn't quite certain why.

I heard the intake of breath as I opened the lid and saw the folded piece of what was clearly parchment paper on top. I lifted it without looking at the rest of the contents and read aloud, puzzled, "You forgot this? What the hell does that mean?" I set the note aside and looked into the box and blinked once, then a second time unable to speak.

Inside the box sat a bed of dark velvet upon which sat a piece of jewelry I was certain I had seen before, it resonated with an energy that called to me as I reached in with a hand to lift the silver chain holding it so that the pendant dangled before my eyes, the pale blue stone seeming to resonate with an energy all its own as I stared into it transfixed for a few moments trembling as I could feel the tug on my memory of the item, unable to breathe or speak, not quite trusting myself to do so.

"Holy shit," I heard Tommy exhale the oath his shock mirroring, or perhaps reflecting my own emotional stun, "That's ... a hell of a thing to anonymously receive."

"It-its hers." Autumn said at nearly the same time as my eyes ripped to her completely rattled, "Look at it," she said getting to her feet, "I don't know how I know its hers, it was meant for her - but I just know."

Nikki looked almost as bamboozled as I did, and I focused my attention on her at her strangled sound, "Autumn's right, that I'm sure was yours, or is really since I don't think you ever actually lost it only dropped it maybe or maybe it was on your boat or ... hell I don't know." she finished as I wrapped my other hand around the pendant and could feel then the gentle energy in the pale stone and I was shaking, nearly to the point of tears when the gem slipped out from my fingers and dropped harmlessly into the bow with a soft sound as several images flickered across the surface of my mind, disjointed and tangled.

"I don't know why I had it, but you're right, it had to be mine," I answered shaken, "I do know that it was a gift, and one that I am not sorry to have back," I got to my feet as the glasses on the table began shaking slightly, threatening to shatter against the wood, "I'm going to - take my box and I'm going into that bedroom and I'm going to try a bit of meditation, do not under any circumstances interrupt me."

"But -" I silenced the protest with a warning growl that rose dangerously, and unexpectedly from my chest, causing Tommy to wither back into his chair as Jason's hand pressed him into the chair his own look as warning as my own had been.

"Don't," I heard him say as I turned the corner, "She's churned up enough don't push it or you're liable not to have a house if you do."

I limped, tired and confused by the package, the cryptic note and I wanted nothing more than to be alone in the room, so that I could try one of the last methods that I had in my arsenal to begin to figure out what that hell was going on - strange dreams, stranger behavior out of my sister, something had to give and I knew better than they realized that my sanity was going to be what gave if I wasn't careful.

I was not as faithful to my meditations and exercises as I should be, and I found myself ruminating on that for a moment as I settled on the bed, taking the extra moment to settle my legs to a comfortable pose, and closed my eyes allowing the familiar calm that so rarely came forward to take over me. For some people, meditation meant closing your eyes and making funny sounding chants in a monotone voice; for me it was the seeking of a center that didn't quite come, but would aid in balancing out my moods even if partially. On some level I knew that the pendant was an important item to me, was it something I had made? Something that was made for me? A gift? I couldn't be sure and I allowed myself to sink into the headspace in which I was at peace, and completely in control of my reactions... A place in which I hoped I would find answers that were truly refusing to come forward.

"What if we did the wrong thing, letting her open the box?" Nikki fretted looking down the hallway worriedly.

"She didn't give any of us a real option to hide it," Tommy pointed out gently, reaching to squeeze her hand with a small smile, "You haven't really told even me what you learned when you were pulled in with her, during the hospital stay."

Nikki frowned slightly getting to her feet casting a look down the hallway again as she went to pour herself a refill of her Dr. Pepper glass before deciding she had to tell someone, "Look, what I'm about to say is going to sound insane but I know what I saw," she said looking between her twin and their husbands and then to Autumn offering a small smile to the last, "Really impossible since we all know how well Raina does attachment and relationships - even friendships and us." she hesitated lowering her voice to keep from attracting attention from the end of the hallway, "I don't exactly know how but when I fell asleep - happens when you're as exhausted and worried as I was about Raina being in that coma, I woke up in a forest. You know in the Lord of the Rings movie where you see the big panoramic view of the woods around the city of Rivendell? A big forest like that, and about the time I finishing thinking 'what the hell' I'm looking at an elf." at Destiny's choked sound, she looked at Destiny, "Yeah that was my reaction too, but the weirder part was he didn't look at all shocked to see me, and mentioned Raina by name, even weirder." she shook her head, "Me being me I started bickering with him as he steered us toward the city, I guess a reasonable thing cause well that's what we'd have done, dropped a stranger into the command center once upon a time, and as I got close I started shouting to her the way Dad taught us to do what little bit we got from his side, with the mind-call thing, and she was ... well weird, even for Raina."

"Well Raina being weird is kind of on the normal end of the spectrum," Jason pointed out carefully choosing a non-confrontational tone knowing that for all their differences the sisters tended to stick together and when one was attacked even incidentally they all turned on the person no matter who it was, "So keep going." he pressed Nikki.

"Well, I got the shock of my life when I met the identical twin to the elf I'd met - and I've read enough of the Tolkien works to know what I was looking at - Elrond of Rivendell's twin sons remember Destiny?" at Destiny's silent, contemplative stare the same look that she'd gotten when she was sure that the history teacher was full of crap in school she continued, a bit bemused, "She laughed at me, that hysterical almost-crazy laugh when she doesn't know whether to laugh at you or scold, when I flipped out about seeing them both at the same time. And I got told when I asked when I'd see her that it would be a bit cause she was busy but to behave myself," Nikki shook her head remembering that, "Which, in retrospect wasn't strangely Raina-ish cause she's all the time telling me to behave myself. But seeing her I swear it was almost like looking at a different person, she was dressed in a modified version of what you see in the movies, that the elves were wearing, and she looked... almost happy. Not that she's miserable here but like she was starting to find a place that suited her," she hesitated as she saw that Tommy's hand was stroking hers soothingly, as if the touch would calm and quiet her and Nikki paused to take a drink from the glass, "And it was obvious - I mean I'm a grownup I know what it looks like when someone's dancing around a relationship -" she was interrupted by Destiny's stunned voice.

"You mean like an attachment, honest-to-god attachment to someone that isn't one of us five? Get real."

"I am." Nikki answered shaking her head, "I got the first real hug in my whole life without getting that wicked evil jolt of pain from her there too, complete with the touch of her skin to mine, that was... well that was kind of nice."

"Then why did she come back?" Destiny asked quietly, frowning as her science-leaning mind tried to fit the puzzle pieces together to get a whole picture, even if she knew Nikki was holding some of them back.

"I think I can answer that one, that's so totally a no-brainer. Us." Autumn answered thoughtfully, "You guys and Willow and Kris are barely on speaking civil terms and Mom and Dad need her to kind of do what they can't, keeping up with us without drawing like all the attention of the world. Not that anyone's able to forget Raina, not even the other parents."

"Yeah, and anyone who's ever seen her and Camtamin go toe-to-toe in a verbal-physical war never forgets that." Jason added quietly as Tommy looked back at Nikki.

"What aren't you telling us about what you know, the more we know the better position we are in to help her before she drives herself - and us insane trying to unlock her own mind again, she's all screwed up and its hard watching it." he said keeping her gaze, "You and I had a deal when we got back together no more secrets about important things." he reminded her gently softening the reminder with a small smile.

Nikki shook her head hesitating to answer that question as she decided to tell the last suspicion she had, "I don't know the whole of it myself - you know how Raina gets when she doesn't know what was actually going on - all defensive and guarded but kind of vulnerable - but best I could figure out she was getting involved in an actual relationship and it scared the hell out of her." she sucked in a deep breath, "And I do have a pretty good guess about that pendant, and yeah it's pretty special."

"Who gave it to her," Autumn pressed Nikki her darker eyes intently focused on Nikki's making her wish for a few seconds that she could lie.

"I can't say for one hundred percent certain, but if I were wagering a guess I'd go with Elrond himself, given the fact that he gave the same possessive-protective vibe that Tommy does when I get myself all churned up." Nikki frowned remembering the way Elrond had reacted to Raina's anxiety attack, "I'd forgotten she gets really keyed up being around a roomful of people - those attacks she used to get when we were all at Dad's as wee little ones, Autumn you might not remember cause you were like maybe a year or two old - the ones where Dad would get her out of the room and she'd sleep for days after?"

"I remember those, kinda sorta at least." Destiny nodded frowning, "And that reaction might also be the fact he's reputed to be one of the top healers in their known world.."

"He could touch her, and I've never ever - not even with Dad seen Raina close to sleep in less than three feet away from anyone male." Nikki eyed Destiny who choked on her drink spluttering strongly enough that Jason eyed her passing a napkin to his wife.

"Might I remind you, you're supposed to give the news not the weather," he remarked as Destiny and Autumn both goggled at Nikki.

"You don't understand," Autumn recovered first as Destiny took another drink of her soda glass looking between Jason and Tommy, "The only male I've ever really seen Raina relax even a little around was our dad, and even then it was kind of like," she gave them a side glance akin to the one she remembered Raina giving him, "When are you turning on me too and what do you want for this niceness you're showing me."

Tommy blew out a breath, torn between believing Nikki's tale, and thinking that she was out of her mind, which was really the expected response if not for the fact he knew better than almost anyone how unique his wife's extended family was. "Then I think what we have to do is let her figure this all out on her own, since we're not likely to be believed anyway but we can kind of let her reactions guide us to what we talk about, kind of let her start adding the numbers up and get the same answer we are right now."

Elrond sat in the chair turned to face the small, brightly burning fireplace the glass in his hand untouched as he brooded over the last minutes he had spent with the strange young woman, and the way she had looked in that last instant when he had gone against every nerve, every desire, every need he had then - and still had now by pushing the boat he'd asked to be made for her into the current of the waters of the Havens ripping a portion of his heart out in the process.

Loss was no unfamiliar sensation - from his childhood he had known it and experienced it in a repeating vicious cycle that seemed to have repeated yet again with Raina. He hadn't wanted to become as fond of her company as he had, he had fought that idea nearly as hard as Raina had, and yet without his sons' unsubtle pushes neither of them would have allowed the mutual attraction to progress past the first stage of staring and trying to figure out everything from a distance. Their shared traits - responsibility neither wanted, but unwilling to make someone else step into that role, the empathy that had caused several... interesting moments for both of them... to even the way that neither of them had wanted to even consider the attraction at first. His sons had seen it - the spark of attraction that both of them had been trying vainly to ignore - and more they had responded to it in a mature, and compassionate fashion, a far cry from the children that he had feared had been raised by an indulgent, loving mother and a cool, often reserved father.

_I owe them my recent joy and my recent sorrow to them, without their well-meant and caring interference I might not be having this internal war of whether or not I did the right thing. _He shook his head trying vainly to shake the image of the young woman's face as he had pushed the boat into the water - the shock and the grief were very real on her features, much the way they had been on his own he was sure.

"May you have the peace in your life now that I was able to offer you here," he murmured getting to his feet in order to bank the fire and headed to bed, where he dropped into another fitful night's rest.


	27. Chapter 27

/Author's Note: I don't own nor do I make money off of Sully Erna's "Broken Road" or any other song lyric I use much as I don't make money off of anything related to this writing project. I hold only the greatest respect for music, and those who have the gift of creating it to inspire me to write.

Chapter Twenty Seven

"Whoa," Tommy's hands darted to steady my balance as he and I nearly collided in the hallway, me on the way to the front door, and he on the way to the bathroom, "Are you all right, you look kind of pale."

"Fine, just let me go." I replied turning to scoot around him and continued on my way to the door, stopped only by the sound of Nikki's voice.

"Where're you going?" I heard the concern in her voice as I picked up my purse and the cane from by the door digging for my keys and found them glancing at Nikki.

"Don't know, just have to get out of here." I answered distractedly, trying to quiet the storm I could feel brewing inside me, one that threatened to sweep me up into its violence as pictures flickered before my eyes half-remembered from the mediation and not one of them made sense to me.

"Wait - let one of us drive, you're shaking something terrible," Destiny protested coming close as I fumbled the keys dropping them back into the depths of my purse again, but backed away at the look in my eyes more than a little frightened. "Or not," she murmured as I dug them out again, trying to ignore her hand on my shoulder, aiming for a calmer voice realizing that their emotions running high alongside mine was only exacerbating my spiraling reactions. "Please, let us take you, we almost lost you once I don't think anyone's nerves can take a second time, not now." she said as I relented.

"I - I don't even know where I want to be, I just... I have to go." I answered shakily, not even truly sure what language I was speaking in.

"Then don't tell us, show us." Destiny argued placing her hand on the doorknob, "We might not be as strong at it as you and Dad are but I think we'll be okay." she glanced back at Nikki.

"We can take the Jeep - that car'll go to the ends of the earth if we need it to." Nikki said taking Tommy's keys from his hand.

I was outvoted, but if it meant getting out of the house, into the open air and within a few minutes I was settled into the front seat of Tommy's newest Jeep and the other three were buckled in before Nikki started it and backed out of the drive. "West," I said to no one in particular, "Toward the ocean."

"Show me," Nikki answered turning onto the main road, mindful of her speed the last thing on her mind was getting pulled over knowing that my temper was not about to tolerate any interruptions. I let my guard down a bit and in an instant she sucked in a breath, "Okay... I've never seen that place but if your brain says it exists, it does."

A song on the radio caught my attention and I reached to turn the volume up, barely able to hear the song at first but the undercurrent caught my attention first and on some level I could hear one of them singing along as my vision changed from the bright California sunshine to a valley filled with green leaves and a sense of belonging before zeroing in on a set of rooms and a tall figure handing me a box I did know the look to his eyes as tentative as I felt, a mirror perhaps of my reactions as I accepted the box, looking at myself viewing the pendant and my own shock mirroring across my face again as the song continued

_I don't know if I can say_

_I've lived through everything_

_but I've walked this earth alone,_

_with bare feet in the snow_

_and my father said to me_

_it never seems to be _

_a simple walk down an icy cold broken road_

_disgraced and ashamed to walk the line, again_

_Controlled for too many years, but never once forgiven_

_And I never thought I'd say, that I'm weaker today than I was _

_yesterday...oh man_

_But I'll fight as I always fight with what's inside of me...this warrior_

_spirit inside of me..._

By the time we had arrived I was blinded by tears gasping out a breath as I stumbled grabbing the side of the Jeep as Destiny's hand steadied me until I could partly see what was before me not only what wasn't there. I didn't realize as I saw the surf crash against the cliffs below that I had dragged them along with me for the last images nor did I feel the cane fall from my fingers as I slipped to my knees battling back the scream for what felt like a second time unable to look away from the surf, the clear waters turning grey before my eyes... I prayed to the gods I no longer believed in that it would be the last time...

_There were many brief images, snapshots of a moment in time - a glass of wine during a late walk, of the stolen afternoons which a leg had become a headrest and I could almost again feel fingers in my hair..._ I wanted desperately to look away and couldn't trembling as the images kept coming from the surf...

_The air held in it the moist tang of the sea-salt as the surf rolled patiently along the edge of the water as the sky grew violently red into a sunset all around as a taller man aided me - the memory-me at any rate into the small ship in the shape of a dove, rather than a swan as the elven-ships were known for being, and the words were lost on the surf, though I could even at my distance make out words of regret and wish as at last a firm shove sent the small ship - and the me-figure into the water the wide eyes a color I knew well of bright amber against the pale skin as the boat slid into the water's current and away from the shore where it was not wanted but ... Needed..._

I heard the ragged sounds, not realizing at first the harshest sound was ripped from my chest, nor did I understand all that had unfolded in my own mind - was it a memory suppressed? A dream that I had wished to be real? Or ... was it something else entirely - really real? Tears blurred my vision as I willed myself upright again swallowing the next sound with effort and realized as my vision cleared, most of the way that all three of them had gone on that wild ride with me shuddering strongly as the muted jolt of pain tore along my nerves from the touch, her words a rush of our native tongue.

{"I'm so sorry... I had no idea it was this hard for you ... forgive us} her tears dripped onto her shirt as I forced my vision to clear, and ground my teeth as I braved touching her cheek, flinching at the current of pain up my arm and well able to feel the dampness of her tears.

{"There is nothing to forgive... I still don't understand it... Whatever happened... is over... as all things do..."} I managed to keep my voice steady despite the fact I felt as if there were a knife in my chest again as she shook her head.

{"Its because of us you're back here... I saw you ... and ... you were okay... "} she trailed off as I placed a finger over her lips.

{"Whatever it was... it is over..for me ..."} I could hardly speak for the emotion choking me and harshening my words as I shook violently too exhausted to keep speaking. {"Let's just go back, there is nothing here for me ...not now..."} I said very softly too drained to stay where we were.

"Let's get her home," I heard Destiny's quiet murmur behind me and I couldn't have gotten up without help which between the twins I did leaning heavily on Destiny's side as the sense of devastating loss made sense. "Autumn, honey are you okay with sharing the back with her?" Destiny asked as she reached for the door.

"Yeah, sure at least that way Raina can lay back a little." I heard Autumn say as her door closed and I half crawled in reaching as Destiny held the cane out to me brushing sand and grass off of it.

I was asleep almost before the key turned the engine over, and shifted once as I felt the weight of a blanket being pressed against my skin.

"How is she?" Nikki asked worriedly.

"Out cold," Autumn answered her quietly, "What the hells was that?"

"I'm not one hundred percent certain but I think we were pulled along either her dreams or memories and I kind of lean toward memory but I don't know for sure."

"Whatever it is," Destiny said as the miles back toward home passed under the tiers, "What has been seen cannot be unseen."

"She was happy," Autumn said softly, so much so that Nikki had to turn the radio down to hear her, "I mean like happy-happy ...not happy-pills happy but like..."

"Us." Destiny nodded with a glance back at her, "Someday maybe it'll come for her again, Autumn. God knows of all of us she deserves the happy ever after."


	28. Chapter 28

/Author's Note: As always a reminder if its clearly a song lyric(s) I don't own it the rights belong solely to the artist and this writer is merely borrowing them because the lyrics so perfectly fit the mood to which the scene is set. If anyone would like to know the name of the song or artist ... Please feel free to PM - silentdovesong

Chapter Twenty Eight

I was sprawled on the couch flipping through the television channels searching for something I could take a nap to before the chaos of living in a house with four other people two of which who have almost no concept of what quiet was came home and shattered my peace. I had been ordered by the physical therapist to rest the next two days until the next of the thrice-weekly sessions since I was actually starting to after what felt like eternity to build back muscle in my legs and resting them was according to my torturer (some call him a therapist I called him a torturer) crucial.

This being the case meant, on some afternoons I got to sprawl on the couch lazy as a kitten in a sunbeam and since normally it was my night to cook dinner I was going to milk that one for all it was worth. I'd already sent a text to my adoring and accommodating sister that I was ordered off my feet by the (torturer) therapist that it was again her night for dinner since her little demons wanted to eat nightly. So naturally I was in a fine mood that late fall, not that in California just after the Thanksgiving holiday really looked that different from June unless you were way up in the mountains, but hey there was no snow to freeze my butt off in and I was just fine with that.

I found one of the older movies channels on their system and cocked my head at the scene, of course I couldn't find something interesting at the beginning of the movie but that's quite okay since that's the story of my life. I settled in to watch the four odd little men bumble their way through what looked like an old-time human settlement with the aid of a man who looked like he needed a bath in a serious way and I shifted for comfort's sake getting more and more drawn into the tale with the minutes ticking by when I nearly fell off of the couch as the door opened with a crash of bags falling to the floor.

"Hey, don't get up, honey it's just me and my thumbs," Nikki called to me smiling a bit though I saw her expression change slightly at the sight of the movie playing, "I've got that on disc if you didn't catch the beginning, and the movies that came after."

I only half listened to her as my attention was drawn back to the movie and a voice coming out of the speakers sent a tremble up my spine, it was somehow unnaturally close to the one that I heard occasionally in the dead spaces of the night, and blinked at the screen not once but a second time recognizing the costume worn by the actor - the braiding was off slightly maybe but the overall look of the garb was close and I sucked in a breath as tears stung my eyes.

Just when I needed her Nikki was sitting on the couch near me, without blocking the screen, which was still playing out the movie it seemed to be in the middle of quite a heated debate as she looked between the screen and me, "You okay? I felt that all the way on the other side of the kitchen, and you've been really good about that not-sharing business since your legs started healing."

I sucked in a deeper breath as the screen shifted to what appeared to be the end of the conference as I turned my attention to Nikki, "You're going to think I'm fruiter than a nut cake..." I began as she swallowed the laugh.

"You mean nuttier than a fruitcake, Sis." Nikki corrected shaking her head, "You forget I'm one of the living embodiments of impossible here so lay it on me."

"I think I've been there," I said softly looking back at the screen which was panning through the elven city of Rivendell, "Like you know parked my ass there and played with the natives been there."

Nikki's head cocked to the side, "Maybe you did," she said after a moment, "You do have that block of time that's all screwed up on you and all that." she seemed to be evading my question, "Watch your movies Sis I gotta get dinner on the stove so that the bottomless pit that is my husband can eat his dinner without making us crazy waiting for the food."

Two weeks later the house Tommy and Nikki shared looked like something red, white, purple and gold threw up on the inside of it. It was horrifying, more the music playing actually hurt my ears it was sugary-cheerful and the volume was excruciating as I made the mistake of leaving my room as Nikki was in full swing of decorating her house.

I had grown used to Nikki's fondness for decorating for the holidays years ago, and this year seemed to be no different. Of course, when one has children, particularly young children the holidays become very important to an adult. There was a difference, instead of four stockings on her mantle... there were five. I had been surprised, in the sea of red, and purple, and white and gold to find a few strands of pale blue, the biggest being my stocking, which was the only light blue stocking and had my name on it in scrolling script.

"How come Aunt Raina's stocking is light blue and ours are red and white?" I heard Mandy ask as Nikki adjusted Cayden's stocking so that it would hang straight from the holder.

"Because Mommy thought Aunt Raina would like having something special," I heard Tommy say as I came up the hallway.

"And I didn't want one like yours or your friend Santa would get confused and put your gifts in mine." I said teasingly, though my smile didn't quite reach my eyes as the holiday approach had left another empty space in me that I couldn't quite fill though seeing and having the distraction of my niece and nephew was a welcome one that kept me from having to consider what was the source.

"Don't be silly, Aunt Raina Santa knows which stocking is mine and where to put presents for everyone under the tree." I heard the certainty in the child's voice and how much like both of her parents, Tommy's self-assurance with Nikki's matter of fact nature made her an endearing little being and I enjoyed her thoroughly; almost as much as I enjoyed teasing her.

"What makes you so sure of that?" I inquired innocently heading toward the kitchen winding my way around Nikki's mess of decorations knowing that there was a pot finished brewing for me there as I had set it to brew before retreating to dress for the day.

"Because Santa's magic." Mandy retorted following me into the kitchen, "Do you need the milk or creamer out of the fridge?" she asked opening the door to retrieve one of the bottles of water Nikki kept in there for her and Cayden both.

"Please," I answered placing the coffee decanter back on the plate in the brewer, "the vanilla one if there's any left after your daddy found it."

"Yep, looks like Daddy raided your hazelnut one instead." Many passed the container to me cheerfully before snatching her bottle of water and flounced out of the room as I was pouring the creamer into the mug and wandered back to watch my sisters' tornado of energy as she made the inside of the house what she called holiday-themed as possible.

Personally, I thought it looked like something threw up inside, but I didn't really want to hurt her feelings, so I refrained politely from saying so. Besides, Nikki was having fun and that was more important, as well the fact that the children were assisting in the visual assault meant that if I commented I risked hurting their feelings and ... frankly if I had one soft spot in my head it was for the next generation in my family.

I had been surprised, a little impressed when Nikki brought up at dinner that Christmas Eve was going to be spent at their house, into Christmas morning something I had learned years before wasn't a usual occurrence. That also meant that more stockings were hung, and that was interesting to watch them arrange and rearrange them was entertaining until the array was complete.

I could only hope that the event wasn't going to become an exercise in self-control and self-torture since Nikki and Willow could barely be in the same room and fake being nice, without one of them antagonizing the other into what seemed to me to be some deep-rooted feud that had the others split down the middle.

"Did you really think you could hide forever?" the cold, snide voice sent a shiver up my spine, cold as a winter's night in the arctic as I looked up from the book I had been reading on Nikki's porch.

I looked up coolly from the book I had been reading with my feet up on the deck table and leveled a frigid gaze on the man whose mere existence pissed me off, "Why would I waste my energy worrying about what you think I'm doing when you haven't a brain to think with?" It was a calculated gamble, taunting Camtaimin and I knew that the risk was as high as the potential payout.

"You should have been the sacrifice not the heathen you are now," he said darkly advancing on the steps as I rose to my feet.

"Yeah well coulda shoulda woulda, asshole," I remarked mildly looking up at him as I balanced my weight between my legs keeping my pose a deceptively defensive one knowing that in an instant I would have to go from defense to offense to get rid of him. "Besides, you might wanna skedaddle anyway, its not my property here and you're persona non grata here." I remarked watching his face turn a nice shade of vermillion the longer I stayed calm.

I knew better than to think he would react with any sort of retreat to my words, I wasn't that lucky and he wasn't that smart. His hand lashed out in the same instant his foot did, and I was able to block the slap but not the foot that swept mine from under me sending my weight crashing to the wooden planks of the porch with a snarled hiss, "One day you're going to learn to be obedient."

"When hell freezes," I retorted slinging the deck chair at him as I climbed to my feet making sure to shove the chair into his hips, "And Satan kisses my ass to boot." I said furiously ignoring the fact that my legs felt like they were on fire from the kick.

"Hell already froze little girl, now pay up." he said reaching to grab my shirt as I blocked his touch with a wrist grinding my teeth as the jolt of pain reverberated along my nerves but I was consoled by the fact it hurt him just as much.

"I already did my sentence in hell you son of a bastard," I hissed at him using his momentum to shove him backward toward the steps as he tumbled backward he grabbed my shirt and I went flying. I let out a breath as I sped toward the ground to avoid being winded and began to scissor kick my legs to lash at him while getting to my feet - on the ground I was at an unacceptable disadvantage and I knew he'd do serious damage physically.

I didn't hear the car approach the drive as I flipped backward to avoid the rapid series of punches aimed at my face angling so that I could with both hands grab his ankle to throw him off balance and preferably get out of his striking range and uttered a sharp yelp of pain as the surprise attack of his hand on the back of my neck both hurt and frightened me. His hand was big enough to nearly fit all the way around my throat and I could already feel my esophagus closing with the pressure. I had to block as best I could several harsh hits and my jaw snapped closed painfully as the back of his hand clapped against my chin hard enough I saw stars for a split second.

"One of these days you're going to do this the easy way," he said shaking me violently as I couldn't stop the laugh that burbled out of my chest.

"Not happening, Camtamin. Didn't happen when I was a child, it isn't happening now so you can just fucking deal." I retorted kicking him between the ribs as hard as I could manage trying to force him to drop me when I saw Tommy's hand clamp down tightly onto his shoulder wrenching him, and consequently me around.

"Put her down, nicely." there was leashed fury in his face, and in the calmer voice and for a moment I could have sworn I saw fire in the pupils of his eyes as his hand tightened on Camtamin's shoulder.

"Not a chance," Camtamin snapped at him as I squirmed trying vainly to break the grip of his hand on my neck, as my vision already began darkening, "She will never be free of me, don't you understand you stupid, stupid little boy?"

"Oh I understand you're a suicidal maniac with a massive death wish cause if you're not gone when my wife gets home she's liable to turn you into fertilizer." Tommy replied coldly slamming the heel of his palm into the bridge of Camtamin's nose furiously as I braced for the inevitable crash landing with the ground and created a wide berth by which I could avoid being drawn back into the fight as Tommy's foot slammed down on his wrist as Camtamin spun trying to grab at me from his place on the ground. "I don't think so." he said in a low, dangerous voice, "I don't care what you think you're entitled to but you're currently not entitled to touch my sister." he said hauling Camtamin to his feet as I leaned heavily on the railing to the steps trying to get up onto it and away from Tommy's irate visage.

I had already made my way inside and was inspecting the damage to my body when he came in muttering and swearing under his breath, "Are you all right?" he asked as I rubbed at my neck with a hand.

I nodded not quite trusting my voice yet as he looked little worse for wear as I finally answered, "I think so, but I am not going to keep staying here not when he's going to start coming and making a nuisance of himself the last thing I need is to cause you and Nikki any more trouble."

"You should stay here," he shook his head going for an icepack for his hand, "Next time you might not be so lucky that I come home - what if you're entirely alone and he does worse than that?" he argued quietly as he voiced my private fear.

"And let you two have to figure out what is left of my mind, no thank you I love you guys too much for that." I said as he sat down at the table, "I will stay till after the holiday time and then I will evaluate what my next move needs to be."

"You can tell Nikki that I am not even getting involved in that discussion." Tommy said frowning, "You might want to go get cleaned up, and see if you can get the bruising down on your neck that looks pretty bad."

I limped my way into the shower stall in the bathroom near the bedroom I was In and realized that I probably didn't need to be leaving - not yet not when enough change was coming, the last facet to their stone was coming of age and I wanted to be there to ensure that the their prism was as strong now as it had been when it formed many hundreds of years ago and that meant staying close to them. I turned the water the hottest it would go and stepped under the spray leaning on the wall as the water beat into my aching muscles and under the spray, and the safety of the water I allowed myself to feel some of the anger and the frustration that were bottled up inside me.

_I hate him, I really and truly hate him._ My eyes burned with tears left unshed for many years as I wished for not the first or last time surely that he would just go away, and stop coming around and making my life hell just about the time I had figured out something good for myself.

By the time I emerged from the bathroom the rest of the household was home, and preparations for the holiday were in full swing, the next night was what the people of Earth called 'Christmas Eve' and from what I had observed in the past it was merely the Winter's Solstice with a different name, something that amused me.

"Hey, I heard you had a visitor today," Nikki said putting her hand carefully on my shoulder, "You okay?"

"Not yet, give me a couple hours, and maybe a drink and I will be." I said wryly thinking abruptly that a glass of wine - something I rarely indulged in because like all alcohol it lowered inhibitions - sounded really good.

"Do you want red or white I think I have both." Nikki asked having learned clearly from past experiences to just roll with what I wanted.

"Red," I answered sitting on the couch putting my feet on the low coffee table, thanks." I said as Tommy handed me the glass and I stared at it for a moment sure I'd done something similar before.

One good thing about wine sometimes, I realized as I set the empty glass on the table I would relax with it and like now instead of giggly-hyper I was sleepy and dozy near their lit fireplace watching the flames dance.

"Is she okay?" Tommy whispered in Nikki's ear watching as Raina appeared to be entranced in watching the flickering orange flames of the burning wood in the fireplace.

"I don't know, I mean it's been a rough couple of months and now with Camtamin showing his ugly face, man why can't he just fall off the planet or something." Nikki said her agitation clear, "She's ready to run again isn't she?"

Tommy nodded quietly, "She says after the new year that she's going to look at it as a possibility because he's come around and you know how weird that makes her. I just wish she'd let someone in about whatever happened why she's so insistent on keeping you all away from him."

"Because he's a monster, in a human-like form, Tommy." Nikki shook her head and rested her head on his chest, "I don't know the details, but I do know he terrorized her and Mom both and its like they both shut down whenever anyone tries to dig in that part of their lives. But it affects them - Raina's touch-aversion thing I know comes from whatever it was he did to her. I can only guess at it but I don't want to." tears stung at her eyes, "I'm afraid to know." she admitted in a whisper.

Tommy sighed and pressed his lips to the top of her head with a faint smile, letting his fingers run through her hair, "We'll deal with that when it comes, it's all we can do."

Two identical figures, each on a tall dark stallion rode side-by-side in silence, on the evening most of the elves were spending in celebration of the Winter solstice, to where Elrond had spent the better part of the last few months, coming into the city for a few weeks, and then spending a week out at the cabin, much of his time spent either shut in the study, or in his rooms and very rarely admitting guests to any location. He had opted against staying in Rivendell for the last of the MidWinter celebrations, something still joyful for most but noticeably absent was the elven lord of the realm and they were running short of excuses to pardon him.

Both had understood Elrond's moodiness through the winter, for winter had been a happy time for Elrond - a time in which the world of beginnings normally slept under a blanket of snow, for Elrond the world had begun a small bud in soil that was hard, and yet under the first difficult digs, began to soften and create a healthy bed for a plant to grow. He dismounted his horse and knocked on the door patiently waiting for Elrond to open it, and frowned at the visage before him.

Elrond looked, for what was probably the first time in their lives truly disheveled, his hair was tangled, and it appeared to have been several days since he had eaten or slept as he filled the door with a quiet, irritated glare at his sons.

"Father?" he inquired quietly, as the years truly seemed to have captured Elrond's spirit, at this time of year more than a month or more ago, "Are you well?"

Elrond sighed and looked back at his son, managing a slight smile that indicated that the next words were about to be a half-truth, "I am as well as I can be, nothing more and certainly not in the mood for the celebration I know you were sent to retrieve me for."

"Originally yes, but I do not think we will go back for it." Elladan answered turning to secure the door to the cabin and sat down exchanging a glance with his twin, frowning at the empty glass and mostly empty decanter on the table, "How much of that did you drink today?"

"Not much, maybe two or three glasses," Elrond answered sitting down as Elladan frowned at him.

"When was the last time you ate?" Elrohir asked realizing that unlike normally when Elrond retreated to the cabin there was no food-smells from the kitchen area nor a pot of some stew that Elrond was quietly famous for making during emotionally draining times.

"I - I don't remember." Elrond answered rubbing his face tiredly with the palms of hi s hand. "What day is it?"

"MidWinter's Eve, my father." Elladan answered getting to his feet, stopping Elrond from rising as well, "It's all right don't get up I can get something." he said gentling his tone as he realized that under the mask of being fine that was presented in the borders of Rivendell was a truly vicious case of soul-breaking depression. "Allow us," he said as Elrond stood up, and being over eight inches taller than his sons he frowned as Elladan's gaze softened, "Always you are the rock for us, when we needed one; tonight we are the rock you need." he said in a quiet voice staring into eyes so alike the ones he saw in the looking-glass daily that it was uncanny though unlike his there was a despair that went through to the soul to match the echo that he had pouring off of him.

Elrond backed down, and sat on the edge of the couch covering his face with his hands shaking his head wondering how it had come to be reversed when he heard the quiet, soothing singing from the other area of the open room, something so rarely heard that he looked up finding a moment a reflection of another time in his life before Elros became Elros Tar-Minyatar, the first King of Numenor. The knife twisted in his chest as he saw his sons working together to prepare a simple travelers stew, the first thing he had taught them to make simply because they would not leave his side as young children. So lost in his thoughts that he realized that he had clearly missed too the first of the song, but the chorus, sung into the silence of the cabin, his sanctuary seemed somehow fitting on one of the hardest MidWinter's nights of the long life of the elven-lord.

_Lean on me, when you're not strong_

_And I'll be your friend_

_I'll help you carry on,_

_For it won't be long_

_Till I need somebody to lean on_

_Please, swallow your pride_

_If I have things you need to borrow_

_For no one can fill those of your needs_

_That you won't show..._

_You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand..._

For a moment, whether it was the longstanding amount of alcohol in his system or the fact that for the first time in many generations of men that he truly missed his twin, who would have understood his pain, would have shouldered the load he heard, the twining voices of his sons, that of his mirror and the trembling shape felt the first real tears drip past his faltering self-control.

"Let's get the stew on the fire and then we'll help him," Elladan murmured to Elrohir as the figure they had long counted to be the rock of their lives truly bent under the weight of his own emotions, shut out for long enough they would have crippled anyone else. "If he'll let us."

They had to handle him with delicate gloves, for Elrond's normal defenses were shattered, and his raw emotions lay bare before his sons eyes, for one truly seeing the "man" behind the cool mask; the rigidly controlled being that had always been very wise for he knew the sorrows of others well, for once needed someone else to be the wise ones.

"Rest, Father we will watch over you," Elladan said bending to kiss Elrond's forehead as had been done to him as a child, a gesture of comfort that had nearly been forgotten, "Sleep," he insisted as he sat down before his father on the floor, "And mayhap have a happy dream this night."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

I had the feeling that something was wrong, a not-quite defined sense that somewhere in my world something was really wrong and it made me have to work twice as hard to put forth the excitement of the holidays for my sisters' sake. Even Willow and Nikki, who so often fought and bickered with each other, almost seeming locked in an adolescent rivalry despite both of them being grown women were making a concerted effort to leave whatever their problems were at the door. It was, after all Christmas for them.

"Hey you made it!" Nikki was in full energetic swing, and surprised that the older set of twins came at all, and it showed on her face.

"It's Autumn's last Christmas as one of the kids we can't miss that." Willow said giving Nikki a stiff hug, "And as you said when you called, holidays are about family even though like always we can't have Mom and Dad."

"You have each other, and you have as always me." I said as I limped toward the couch using the cane more heavily than I had been after being nearly bowled over by Cayden just a minute before.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" Kris asked moving around Willow to actually be helpful and move a chair I was trying to push in without losing my balance.

"One, I got into a fight with the sea a few months ago and healing's been a bit of a trouble and your nephew near took my legs out not a minute ago."

"Was he running in the house again?" Nikki asked as I sat down heavily in the chair that had on it a big stuffed pillow with a smiling rosy-cheeked Santa on it in place of the normal black pillow.

"Bingo," I said smiling grimly, "But don't go after him, Nikki its a holiday and he's wired on your sugar cookies." I said with a chuckle, "I warned you not to do it."

"Well that's typical, Nikki going against a suggestion." Willow said sarcastically but immediately regretted it as I cut my eyes at her.

"I thought we agreed you two little kittens were going to sheathe the claws, I might be half-crippled thanks to that accident but I can still beat you both within an inch of your lives." I warned her.

"Besides, we have something aside our petty crap to discuss. Autumn graduates at the end of this school year." Destiny said sitting down, "We need to do something for her, she's the baby."

"And we all know that the other parents aren't going to," Kris said bitterly, "So its all on us to make it special."

"Well we could always go on a vacation trip with her," Jason suggested, "Make a big project out of it for her since you all got so separated from her because Autumn's so much younger," he pointed out at Willow's look, "And it'll give everyone a chance to put some of the differences aside."

"The baby's almost grown up on us and we missed a lot of it."

"None of us can change the past, but damn if I'm going to let the future be that way." Nikki said looking at Willow, "And that includes burying that hatchet somewhere else."

"No sniping," I interrupted as the radio played a merry holiday tune, "Either of you."

"Well let's start with getting along for tonight and then we can talk about what to do for Autumn's graduation." Kris said looking between all of us.

That sounded pretty good and I found my attention drifting as they began trying, genuinely trying to get along at least for a few hours and that was fine by me. I certainly didn't have the reserves to play peacekeeper for them, and eventually I was going to have to corner Nikki and Willow about this rivalry bull that was continuing to deteriorate their relationship but that was going to be another project for another day, preferably one when my legs weren't throbbing.

I couldn't sit still, partly because of the fact my legs were throbbing and partly because the tension in the room was so high. I had to get up and it hurt and I heard myself hiss a breath as pain coursed through every nerve in both leg muscles as the door opened and with it came a burst of cold California night air and in came the last of the six of us, and I blinked realizing really and truly that the "baby" was no baby anymore.

Autumn was easily five foot six, with a slender build not much different from what our mother did, and her hair was a rich chestnut brown that shone with reddish highlights and her darker eyes sparkled with pleasure at the season, laden down with bags of gifts, "Merry Christmas I made it! It took an act of Congress to let them do it but I did it!" she said as her eyes zeroed in on me, "Whoa, you ... what happened?" I heard the question for the second time that night.

"That's all that counts -" Nikki said as I answered Autumn, leaning heavily on the cane for another moment before moving closer.

"That's a long story, but the short version... don't get in a fight with the Sea... the Sea wins." I said as I moved closer to her and yelped at her hug, grinding my teeth as I worked at keeping from dropping her as she squealed in surprise.

"Ow ow ow!" I heard her protest putting her hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes with her own.

"Oh god I'm sorry I totally-" she began apologizing as I shook my head.

"Never, ever apologize to me for that. Some hurt is well worth the sting," I said interrupting her, "Go, sit with them I need to catch a breather, little one I will be back in after a little while."

"Don't run away, please I just got here." Autumn protested as I put my hand on the doorknob causing me to smile over my shoulder wryly.

"Little girl I won't be running anywhere for a long time yet. Go, get a bite to eat Nikki loves to cook and she does it well."

"You'd know." Autumn's laugh made me smile, despite the distinct feel that something was truly wrong in my guts, but I couldn't place it.

"I'll be back in after a few minutes, I just need to get some air." I said reassuring her a last time as I exited the house closing the door behind me.

I drew in a deep breath of the cool air outside the house and shivered as a bright star twinkled overhead and I leaned on the railing letting myself indulge in looking up at it for a moment feeling a knife twist again on my insides, my fingers reaching for the dueling necklaces I wore and found the one that was such a mystery to me and my fingers closed around it allowing myself on a night I knew to be special across many worlds, many cultures and many places, to whisper a soft prayer to the dark night-sky.

"Whoever you are, that gave this beautiful thing to me, I hope you are well this Winter's Solstice and ... I wish someday to see you again." I had tears stinging my eyes as I got to my feet knowing on some level that the prayer was selfish but I had earned somewhere a bit of selfishness - hadn't I?

They had gotten him to eat, and wordlessly the identical twosome agreed that it was a start, not the one they necessarily wanted, but it was a good start to him clawing out of the hole his emotions had dug for him. Next would be sleep, Elladan decided casting a furtive look at his father and knew that willing or not Elrond would drop to exhausted sleep before long anyway, and he aimed to push him toward the warm bed.

"Why don't you go lay down for a few hours, I am sure that it will be more comfortable for you than this couch." he suggested carefully, knowing that Elrond was minutes from dropping over in sheer exhaustion.

Elrond nodded wearily and rose to his feet and moved slowly toward the bed where he crawled, fully dressed but for his shoes into the blankets and dropped heavy as a stone in water to sleep which would not bring the peaceful dreams his sons hoped for.

The two took shifts, one sitting by the bedside in the chair reading or meditating while the other slept as they did in the wild, though in this case the only wild animal they were risking being seen by was their father in his current state...

Dreams were both welcome and unwelcome - welcome for the respite of facing another morning without the whip-sharp sting of the woman's humor or the quiet stolen hour first thing before the city awoke to share a mug of tea alongside the coffee she craved almost compulsively, face another meal in which he wouldn't marvel at the sheer amount she was eating, and more, just getting to be around the strange woman that had become something of a fascination.

Sleeping also meant to see a replay of the happy memories, and the more difficult memories - the look of horrified surprise when he'd let the boat float away into the current, when she likely would have stayed, and the sheer surprised pleasure of the pendant he hoped on some level she still possessed but did not know for certain. On this midwinter's night he slept deeply enough thankfully to not dream, not of the fiery hued hair and the way the woman moved but in the thankfully deep silence of the despairing but for a voice hauntingly familiar if silenced in his world outside of his own mind,

_ "Whoever you are, that gave this beautiful thing to me, I hope you are well this Winter's Solstice and ... I wish someday to see you again."_


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

'Brother-mine the last time I remember seeing him this torn apart on the inside was when Mother sailed, and even then he was stoic, resolved and calm...' Elrohir's unease about the sight of their father's emotional crumble was apparent in his mind-voice something the two had done together since they could remember, possibly before they were born.

'I do not remember another time this severe, not Mother's sail, nor the times we were able to convince him to tell us stories of his younger years, not even our uncle's death do I remember ripping him apart this severely.' Elladan agreed quietly, 'Sometimes, like now I wish he hadn't let go.'

'If wishes were horses, my brother we would all be swimming in manure. What do we do about there here and now?'

'We do what we must, he is our father.' Elladan's answer was simple, direct as both sets of grey eyes turned toward the bed, in which the lump in the center tossed once fitfully, causing a look of concern to crease Elladan's forehead, 'Should we wake him?'

'No, we will watch, he has not slept in many days, brother-mine but here we should stay until we are sure he will take care of himself again.'

_ Elrond's senses were spinning violently, as if searching, running and seeking for something that wasn't there. He was seeing the night-sky with the twinkling stars pausing in his running to look up at it his attention distracted by the light of the bright star even in a dream it was a beacon of hope of dreams yet unfullfilled and greatly desired._

_ "Why did I do this to myself - I knew the price and I still... went down the path. I ... Saw it... and I did it anyway?" he asked aloud to no one for no other were in his dream the landscape was as barren as the land near to Mount Doom a place he hoped to never see again; the despairing elf falling to his knees trying to stop the outpouring of emotion._

_ The moonlight was a pale shimmer of the sunlight that had bleached the ground, kissing it in silvery light as a figure grew up out of the ground, coming to him as if to offer comfort. The figure was... and was not ... himself... Elrond would recognize his twin anywhere in any realm and it was he before the change to a mortal man that stood before him._

_ "Because you were falling, almost from the first minute, my brother." there was a familiar quality to the voice - it was a tenor to match his own and the hand that cupped his chin was identical but for the absence of the Ring of Sapphire he wore - "To love is the gift The Great One gave to all, Elrond my beloved brother." Elros knelt before his twin resting both hands on his shoulders._

_ "This is a dream" Elrond breathed looking into the face so alike that it was different from his own._

_ "Yes." Elros answered him smiling slightly, "For I have been parted from your world for many generations; and yet you still need me as I needed you at the end, my brother. I think at long last you understand why I made the choice I made?"_

_ Tears stung Elrond's eyes as he nodded once, not trusting his voice to speak, though he did not need to, as it was very clear in the grey of his brother's eyes. "Aye."_

_ "I am with you now, as I was always before," Elros reminded him smiling slightly as he pulled his mirror to his feet, "As is this woman you cannot quite shake from your soul, instead of trying to extract her ... hold the candle close that the wind does not her light blow out." Elros eyed his twin, and smiled gently as he held him on his feet the two entwined in a familial embrace as he rested his forehead against Elrond's. "Embrace your grief my brother accept what cannot be changed and remember... so long as the Light of Earendil brightens the sky, our father sails the heavens there is hope."_

_ With that his brother's image was gone and he was again alone looking up at the sky the twinkle of the small pricks of light that were the stars until he found the brightest of them all and for a moment he stared at it, wondering a moment aloud._

_ "What wrong did I do to this world to lose so many people, that every joy is countered by a sorrow as great?" he asked the sky, and the no-one that was there closing his eyes as the frustration he so rarely indulged in burbled to the surface of his dream-mind and anger born of it caused him to kick at a large boulder not but a few feet from him._

_ For a moment he was swept into the sensation of a dream changing and he was up in the skyline looking down at a world, so alike and so dramatically different from his own and frowned looking around for a familiar thing when he heard a familiar voice uttering words which were perhaps both a blessing and a curse._

_ "Whoever you are, that gave this beautiful thing to me, I hope you are well this Winter's Solstice and ... I wish someday to see you again."_

Elrond sat up straight in the bed, having heard the same words twice in a night gasping a colorful oath as he did, disoriented a moment as he was surrounded by his twin sons both of whom were staring at him half in shock of his words.

"Father?" Elladan inquired warily as Elrond seemed a moment himself, "Did you dream again?"

"Yes." Elrond answered with a faint smile, "And ... I am left from it to wonder that which the Valar meant to show me in it. Come, let us eat and I will tell you what I remember..."

The next morning was one of the most interesting experiences of my life. The living room was a chaotic blur of paper, shrieking children and gifts along with a pile of adults each trying very hard to keep the peace.

The children, naturally fared better than anyone else did, as it seemed to me that they were the ones who received the bulk of the presents, even from me, though I had gotten at least one for everyone else.

Finally there was quiet as the four youngest children were soundly napping - even Mandy who had protested Nikki's firm insistence, and had gone to her father for backing on not needing a nap. I was impressed that Tommy had backed Nikki, and I heard as I poured another mug of coffee in the kitchen, "No, your mother's right you were up late last night with the festivities and you were up early to see what Santa had brought, you need to go lay down for a little bit before you end Christmas in trouble."

The kids weren't the only ones angling for a nap, I realized as Nikki and Autumn were vying for ends of the couch as the other two were sprawled into chairs dozing before their drive to their respective apartments. I wasn't going to squander the opportunity for a nap - not when my legs were hurting almost as much as my head throbbed from the bouncing trill of emotions that I had to really pay attention to avoid bouncing back on them and end up with a never-ending circle of potent emotions.

_Whoever you are, I truly hope you are well._ I thought to myself resting in my room my legs stretched before me under the warm quilt as I settled against the blankets murmuring quietly to myself, "At least today's almost over."


	31. Chapter 31

/Author's Note: I am always up for comments, PM's and reviews - and I enjoy hearing back from anyone who has anything to say - good or bad. Like it? Sweet tell me what you like.. Don't like it? Nice tell me about it. Have a suggestion? Excellent - share it with me I'm dying to know :) Once more: I only own the obvious OFC's anything else is owned, operated and otherwise in the mastery of their copyrighted owners - I'm merely borrowing their toys and I promise I will give everything back when I'm done, hopefully no worse for wear!

Chapter Thirty-One

Spring was upon us almost before I was ready for the season of rebirth and change. I was at the end of my physical therapy - which had been riddled with setbacks and I looked forward to the last of it. I was scheduled to end it the last week of February, just a few months before Autumn was set to graduate the second week of May and I was delighted with the progress report. I had frightened Autumn terribly with the use of the cane, and the others perhaps too as they were used to thinking of me as invincible.

These were the thoughts running through my head as I jogged carefully on the treadmill - I had been forbidden by the (therapist) torturer to run or jog outside out of fear that I would fall but he had conceded defeat when I had insisted on the use of the treadmill. Which was what I did currently, with music playing in my ears from the borrowed player of Nikki's. It was my time to think, to brood and to burn off some of my energy as my upper body had built itself back easily with the light weights training I had always done, but my legs were slow going.

I was curious how their lunch planning date was going, the four of them - both sets of twins were supposed to be figuring out what they would do for Autumn for her graduation surprise. I hoped there wasn't a bloodbath waiting for me when I arrived, intentionally late because I did not want to have to spend my entire day playing referee to them.

I dismounted the treadmill and headed for the showers as I mused over the possibility of the two sets of twins killing each other because they had some stupid childish rivalry going and it had to end. And soon because I was going to murder all four of them and tell our mother and their father I lost my temper and that I was sorry.

"She's late," Willow protested glaring at the door as she spun her straw in the soda glass.

"No, I told you on the phone, Raina had to finish her physical therapy session that guy doesn't want her doing any activity that he's not there to help in case she falls or something, totally over-reacting." Destiny said glaring at Willow, "Or did you not have your listening ears on."

"Come on you guys, this is supposed to be about what we're doing for Autumn not who can out-snipe the other." Kris protested as the waitress brought a second glass of water for her and carried off the empty glass. "Let's at least look at the menu, goodness knows Raina wouldn't want us waiting for her."

I walked into the restaurant and smiled slightly at the hostess, barely disguising my limp as I did, "Hi, I um have to meet my sisters here for lunch, I believe the reservation was under Scott?" I wasn't sure who had made the reservation, but Destiny seemed a safe bet.

"Oh, yes right this way they just arrived about twenty minutes or so ago." The hostess smiled leading me to a corner booth where they had taken over one of the bigger tables.

"You made it, a little late huh?" Destiny smiled at me as I sat down beside her, "I ordered a Dr Pepper and a round of cheese sticks for when you got here," she added as my stomach growled in protest of the smells in the room - the food smelled fantastic.

"Yeah," I nodded and looked at them, and realized that they had probably gotten absolutely nowhere while waiting on me. "Did you four come up with anything?" I asked carefully watching their reactions, "Or were you so busy bickering you forgot why we're doing this now?"

They all looked uncomfortable as I gave them each a look, forcing them to meet my eyes, which prevented each of them from lying to me, and it was Nikki who cracked first unable to hold my gaze for more than a minute for how guilty she felt, "We were busy bickering," she muttered looking toward the wall.

"Well, you all agree this meeting isn't about your petty differences, its about doing something for Autumn - who by the way doesn't deserve the treatment she's getting where she has to feel like if she talks to Nikki , Willow's going to be hateful to her." I said levelly as my breaded cheese sticks arrived, picking one up and bit into it, "She's got a right to know who she is and I'll personally kick your asses if you continue to behave like spoiled children," I warned them, "So tell me what are normal vacations around here?"

"There's going to the beach - but we can do that any time," Kris said trying to get the ball rolling.

"There's taking a trip to like Florida or something," Willow said bouncing the idea off the table.

"Florida sounds pretty awesome - expensive as hell for a group our size as I want to take the kids and my husband along," Destiny said smiling at Willow trying to play peacekeeper as I ate letting them attempt to be nice.

"Well, Tommy found this when he was out and about at the warehouse store the other day, he said it looked pretty cool to him," Nikki said hesitantly putting the brochure on the table.

Willow took the brochure first and began flipping through the pages, - and even she had to agree it looked like something that would be right up Autumn's liking. A seven-day cruise would be expensive, but then again split between all of them even splitting Autumn's costs wouldn't be that bad, "You know, this actually looks like fun, and there's enough to do that we wouldn't have to spend all that much time together if we didn't want to."

"That's kind of what Tommy said too, where we could do the family thing at like meals and stuff but go off during the day and do our own thing." Nikki said nervously as Willow passed the booklet to Kris who took a little longer to read.

"What about you, I know you're kind of anxious about even going to the beach, would you even consider getting on a ship, even a big cruise ship?" Destiny asked looking at me as I squirmed taking the time to eat the rest of my cheese stick before answering.

"I ahm I don't know." I said hesitantly very uncomfortable with the idea of being out on the open water again, "I lost the last argument I had with the sea and wound up in deep shit."

"Yeah, but that was a little boat, this would be different," I heard Willow's protest and was surprised inwardly that she and Nikki would inadvertently and incidentally agree on anything, "Those boats go through some serious checks so that there's no issues."

I drew in a deep breath as our appetizer plates were exchanged for our meals. I knew that they were all for the cruise idea in late May, about two weeks after Autumn's graduation ceremony, but I was not sold on the idea. There was much I hadn't told them about my misadventure, and some of it I didn't know that I wanted to tell them,

Over the next hour, I found myself being one part-referee one part older sibling with more life experience than any of them combined and tossed in a blender secretly cringing at the idea of a boat - even one with probably over a thousand other people on it - ever again. I had dreams occasionally, after my accident I knew it wasn't a surprise but some of the dreams were ... very detailed and very intimate in nature and I had awakened myself to tears more than once because of them and didn't know why.

I realized very quickly as entrees became desserts, that the four of them were pretty set on the idea of the cruise and that I was going to have to face my fear of the sea sooner than I was really ready for.

_The things I do for you children._ I thought as I left the restaurant at the end of the meal.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two

"What did you say to them to make them all stop it, all of the fighting and the nonsense?" Autumn asked me as there had been a tentative, forced peace between the sets of twins, this time glancing up from her Calculus text book.

"Sometimes, little sister it isn't what you say ... it's what you don't say." I answered digging into the delicious salad plate before me as Autumn was doing the last bit of her studying for the big Calculus final the next morning.

"If all it takes is you sticking around to back them off each other maybe you should stay awhile till they knock it off for good." Autumn was frustrated, much as I was by the twins' constant fighting, in the case of Willow and Kristina they fought and competed not only with the others but each other as well.

"I'll be around for awhile, I have been since a bit before the accident." I answered feeling my fingers drift toward the chain I wore in addition to the pendant I had worn since my childhood.

"I know, but its different when they all know you're here and around," Autumn looked at me and leaned to whisper, "I'm looking forward to the trip but I'm scared to death they're going to make a mess of it."

"They won't," I promised her carefully ruffling chestnut brown hair with a smile, "I'm going too and if they start anything it goes directly through me."

"I know," Autumn answered with a wan smile, "I'm really glad you came back just for this."

"Autumn, if there's nothing else in the world you believe in, remember that for all the differences, family is family and when something happens - the good, the bad and the crazy we have to stick together otherwise we're all pretty much screwed." I reminded her with a gentler smile that didn't betray that I had threatened the older twins the ass-kicking of their short little lives if they screwed up Autumn's graduation or vacation.

"Excited, Little Sister?" I asked coming up behind Autumn with a small smirk, "Or still scared that they'll mess it up?" I asked lowering my voice as we were waiting in the busy line to board the ship.

"Both," Autumn answered with a wary smile keeping her voice low, "It's like a powder keg, Raina can't you feel it?"

Oh I could feel it all right and if someone lit the fuse it was not going to be pleasant consequences for them. I hadn't been teasing when I had warned all four of them that if Autumn's graduation trip was ruined because of any of them I was going to be kicking asses and taking down names later. "I know, and if it happens just go with the others out of the area and let me handle it." I answered her soothingly, knowing full well that of them, only one would likely dare a physical altercation. More so because the younger twins knew that I could stomp on them if I had to, the elder set... well they seemed to believe themselves superior to the world. It seemed I would have to remind them otherwise in the near future.

The rooms were in a single corridor because they had all been booked at the same time. They were nearly identical in nature, but for mine and Autumns (so elected because we were both single and had no families to take up the rest of the beds in the room. Ours had a bit more room for seating, without the necessity of having multiple beds, including a small breakfast-type table and chairs, and a small sitting area.

"Whoa," Autumn said setting her carry-on bag down on the bed, "they have our stuff up here already?"

"I believe the term is full-service." I answered dryly with a softer chuckle, almost enjoying her surprise and delight more than my own.

"Pardon me, "a soft calm voice said from the door, "My name is Roberto and I'll be part of your concierge team during your stay on the USS Festival." he introduced himself as a taller, deeply tanned man appeared behind him, smiling amused.

"Don't 'mind Roberto ladies, we're part of your experience here there is no need to worry over the small things, that's what we're here for." the man smiled, "Any need you have, from directions around the ship while we are at sea, though I must impress upon you the importance of the safety meeting in an hour's time. You will have to report to this location, which you can take this path," he traced one from our room to the X marked in red on the page by the door.

After the pair left Autumn leaned close to me and asked quietly, "What's concierge?"

"Basically a fancy word for being part of the services provided," I answered as we began fussing with our belongings as an announcement was heard that the safety meeting was to begin in thirty minutes and the request for passengers to head toward their designated areas where further instruction would be given.

Thus began the hottest, smelliest and most irritating hour and a half of my life. I knew, from the boating classes and lessons I'd taken the majority of them before I even purchased my own ill-fated journey into boat ownership but I tolerated, put up with and waited out the instructions but being overly pragmatic I took careful note of which lifeboat I was to put my pint-sized skinny ass into along with, I noted with some amusement all of my sisters. Joy, that would be a hell of a ride to safety with the lot of them doubtlessly fighting.

"What about children?" Nikki, the natural worrying mother hen since becoming one, asked the attendant smiling as if this were merely practice, and not at all going to happen on the seven-day voyage.

"Children must go with one parent, or both if they are in the same lifeboat."

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't enjoying the absolute freedom of the ship already well on its way to 'out to sea'; other than the sometimes sickening level of emotions swinging on violent pendulums around me. My sisters' actions varied day to day and sister to sister, for instance Destiny's time was split with one on one time with Jason and the four of her family going around together. Life was an adventure, like always for Nikki whose time was naturally taken up by her children. Jealousy and simmering rage poured off of Kristina and Willow when they assumed I wasn't paying attention, over what I didn't know yet but I was going to dig up the source of it someday.

However, my baby sister, the sister I had all but nurtured through fragile infancy on my own was having the time of her life. That alone counterbalanced the frustration of the others. I had seen that girl partake in every excitement possible to do while sober. It was a pure joy to watch a young girl become a grown woman, something on some level I felt some envy - I had been grown before I was mature enough to handle myself but there was no sense in being unkind to the baby of my strange family.

"She's beautiful," I heard the comment from Willow and blinked over at her. "Autumn, I mean."

"Children have a pesky habit, Willow of growing up when you're not looking." I answered mildly keeping myself carefully in control over my reactions.

"I suppose so," she answered carefully, not looking at me even to meet my gaze, "What was it like, really for you? I mean not with him cause we all suffer because of him but I mean Mom and Dad ... all of us what was it like?"

"Chaotic," I smiled faintly and stared out over the water, "Beautiful, and oh so fleeting." I answered with a fresh knife in my belly turning, "It was so foreign to me, to see a man sit down with a child, love that child despite having no natural bond," I closed my eyes. "I was frightfully jealous of you and Kristina you know." I looked over at her with a small smile, "You had the one thing from the minute you were born I wanted most from my father." I licked my lips once not even sure why I would confide in her - one of the more venomous - even toward me - of the girls, "His approval, and love. Gods I craved it from my own and that at a precocious age I knew it would never be mine."

"He saved you more than once, didn't he?" I heard Kris' voice behind me and nodded back at her not bothering to hide the glittering tears in my eyes.

"Your father stopped me from becoming a monster, Kristina more than once. Emotions, like words are powerful weapons and once one learns to abuse them wounds wrought are difficult frightfully difficult to heal." I ground my teeth at the current of pain that I knew coursed through both of us at her hand on my bare shoulder.

Neither of them knew how to respond to that, and I was pleased for the moment that I had given them both something to think about and after fifteen minutes of silence I turned and leaned so that both of them had to look at me, "Do you two know why you hate your own sister?" I inquired gently, "I know why without a doubt why I hate Soleil can you two say the same?"

"But I don't - " Kris began and cut off at my expression of pure doubt over the rim of my sunglasses.

"Bullshit, it pours out of you as thickly as the disapproval that you think you hide behind a sharp mouth and a big nasty attitude." I retorted without ire or emotion, "You're hurting all of us with it both of you." I looked between them, "And if you don't figure it out and rebuild the bridge I'm going to do far worse than lecture either of you." I warned turning to walk toward the stairs that would lead me back inside away from the luring scent and sight of the sea that troubled me.

"It isn't just her you know," the words cut me like I blade and I blanked my emotions and my face defensively, from Willow it cut deeply and I quirked a brow quizzically, wordlessly, "How long before you vanish again, and how long this time will you be gone? A month? A year? Ten years? You can't keep us in limbo whether or not we can depend on you."

Oh those words hurt, and more, they were painfully true. "I'm here as long as you children require a referee and I'll be here after you need a sister." I answered calmly refusing to rise to the bait that I knew the younger twins would have and a war begun anew, "If you want to fight, Willow Rainn I suggest you pick one with someone who has not the practice at controlling themselves."

"That's just it," Kris answered furiously at my cold stare, "You're always so perfect with all the answers - and you're all the three of them talk about - like you're something special. or something."

I gave a wan smile, understanding then it was jealousy partly driving them and I felt some pity that I had to shove aside for another time, "Kristina my feisty one always you have challenged everything about what I am, I am the last person who would ever claim perfection. A perfect leader would have saved the lives of her team mates; I'd have seen with clear eyes the deception of my own blood, and I wouldn't be the one having to be one part mother and one part referee to sisters I love and I know so precious little about because of who they are from merely being born." hurt at this knowledge crept into my voice turning it bitter, "I'm sorry if my imperfection maligns you, Kristina I am merely who I am." I turned and headed away from the hurtful pair before they could land another painful blow.

A few steps later, "Raina?" I heard Nikki's voice and turned in time to realize she had heard most, if not all of that discussion.

"I'm fine, Nichole." I answered the unfinished question in a tone that I hoped wouldn't betray my emotions.

"Yeah, and I'm the Monkey King of England." she retorted keeping her temper firmly in check. "Why do you let them do it?" she demanded as we entered the sitting area of the room. It hurts you terribly to let them do it. Why?" she repeated furiously.

"Because it's better that they hurt someone who cannot be harmed more than they have already, rather than you, Destiny or Autumn." I replied, "Because I'm the closest to the people they are most angry with," I continued feeling no shortage of fury at Dulcea and Luke myself, "And because its my right to choose."

"I know it is, and I'm so sick of it, dead sick and tired of them and the hurt that's caused by their actions." she complained furiously.

"You're no innocent in all the headaches, you know." I pointed out gently even if her desire to end the heartache and the frustration both was almost endearing, "Nikki, no one of us except maybe Autumn can claim utter innocence in this war."

"I know, and I can't change my past any more than Kris or Willow can leave their attitudes at the door."

"Then check your own and be prepared to be the grownup." I retorted and rose to let her out of the room "Nikki as enlightening as this is becoming, I'm tired and I hope to not dream again tonight."

I waited as long as I could manage to keep my eyes open in hopes of being far too exhausted to dream the dreams that had begun plaguing me, gauzy not-quite dreamlike enough to be brushed off as merely an overactive mind anymore not since the second night on the cruise when the first had come again...

_ "Drift," the word was a request as strange as the sensations coursing along every singing nerve, every touch a wordless wish hesitantly given to light._

_ Hands, again were on soft skin - mine I realized with a jolt and went to roll away thinking there was pain, and yet there wasn't. Words I didn't totally understand, nor did I actually want to by then only the sensations seemed to matter..._

_ The dream shifted before my eyes and I realized that I ... or the person... or someone had been sleeping and kind, grey eyes were all that filled the field of vision. Eyes too kind to be believed , and far too full of life and love to be of the dead and the sense of absolute belonging and ...love..._

Over time the images flickered into and out of focus and I drifted unaware of the tears streaking my face as I slept tossing, sometimes fitfully as the images shifted away from what I was curious about - was it a dream? Was it real? Could it be or was it wishing?

_ NOOO! I felt the utter despair and cried out the sound dying on my parted lips the pain too raw to be a dream ..._

"Wake up, dammit." I heard a voice calling me and I was being shaken rather forcefully, "come on dammit, Raina wake up." I stirred reluctantly and looked up through bleary, tearful eyes at Nikki and a ghost-white Autumn.

"I - I heard you call out in your sleep, then you screamed and I - I went and got N-Nikki I didn't know what else to do." Autumn stuttered at me as I swiped at my face impatient with myself and the explosion of emotion.

"No, no little sister you did well." I answered drawing in several deep breaths to steady myself, "Too much sun, not enough fluid and more stress than necessary, created a dream nothing more."

Nikki didn't quite look like she believed me but patting Autumn's arm she smiled at her, "Go on, both of you back to bed, it's early yet and breakfast will come soon and I hope to share the day with Tommy and the kids."


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty-Three

_The sea... like the stars it was the single constant on any world, _I mused to myself looking out over the crystal-blue water and barely noticed that I was slowly but surely being flanked by my own crazy, mixed up but infinitely loving family on the open-air sea deck in the late afternoon sun, which was beginning to take its nightly descent into the western skyline.

"Keep that up you'll burn up like a crispy critter," Kris commented to me as I blinked away from the hypnotic water, "You've been weirder than usual since this big boat hit open water, what gives?"

"I don't know, have you ever felt like there's something you know but you don't know or remember why you know there is?" at her headshake I grinned faintly, "Exactly."

"Huh? One day I'll remember you're the riddle queen."

"Sorry, I've got a few things on my mind lately," I answered distractedly, finding myself still half haunted by the dreams I couldn't quite remember once I woke up.

"Just go get the sun block before you burn up like a tater tot and get eaten."

Nikki smiled, "Well that's one down and two more to go." she turned looking at her twin and baby sister, "Did either of you put sun block on don't need this entire family going to the birds via burnt tater tots." She added laughing adjusting her sun glasses to block out the sun which was bouncing off of the waves.

"We're all going to the birds," I muttered to myself and turned back to the railing behind me and leaned on it with a soft sigh, "Or to the loony bin."

"That's almost a prerequisite to be a member of this family," Tommy answered chuckling lightly as he wrapped an arm around Nikki's shoulder.

"Pretty much is," Destiny agreed with a smile, "Course you and Jason were the stupid ones you married in we're stuck by birth."

"Nah, I wouldn't say stupid, Des." Jason answered putting his arms around her shoulders, "It takes some serious balls," he laughed dodging as she went to elbow him, "Well it does." he said turning her around with a laugh, "It's a tough crowd with all these ladies around and no men."

"Got that right," Nikki laughed, "But before you two create another niece or nephew right here go get a room."

"Yeah, I hate agreeing with Nikki on anything but I don't want to know that much about either of you." Willow answered as a unspoken suggestion we were all moving toward the inside of the ship, "But let's all go pick up kids if you need to and get ready for dinner, our first of three at sea it should be pretty."

_Sea_. Something wriggled on the inside for me at the mention of the large body of water that we were in the middle of and I shook it off noticing the look from Nikki, who fell back with me after a brief quiet word with Tommy who headed with Destiny and Jason to pick up the small group of children.

"Are you okay?" Nikki asked as I slowed my pace leaning a bit more on the cane for balance as I sighed glaring at it. I hated still, nearly a year later half relying on it in the afternoons and definitely in the evenings.

"I don't know, it's like there's something to these dreams that has me all screwed up again and I just can't make head or tails of my own damn head." I answered as our pace moved slowly through the corridors toward the room.

She smiled and I knew she felt guilty about something, it was written across her face, "Look, whatever it is will solve itself when you're prepared or don't have a choice but to please just trust yourself."

"I do," I answered as we paused outside the room I was sharing with Autumn, "Coming in or going to help Tommy with the kids?"

"He said he had it, I'll stay here with you until I need to get ready," she answered sitting down as I went rummaging for something for dinner the pendant catching my attention in the mirror distracting me all over again.

"It's like this, I should remember getting something this valuable," I shook my hair out and stuck my tongue out at the reflection with the overgrown strands, "At least I would assume I would."

"Yeah, I can understand why it would bother you more than the rest of us," Nikki answered as I let it sit on top of the dark blue sweater and began pulling on the cream colored slacks before slipping my feet back into my flats.

"Bothers me?" I repeated incredulously, "Nikki its insane, I don't even want to know what it's worth. Or even if I thanked the person who gave it in the first place."

_Invaluable, not even the metal or the jewel is the more valuable portion of it all, but you'll remember, at least God I hope so soon._ Nikki thought with a slight smile, "It's okay, come on let's go to dinner tomorrow we wake up to the sun over the water."

The infamous Bermuda Triangle, we had entered it sometime in the night of our first 'at sea' night's rest and it certainly was as intriguingly beautiful as the tales I had heard others telling on the pool decks and the whispered secrets I heard snippets about here and there, were certainly telling of the fact that it was an interesting place in the world, where ships were known to sink and planes crashed.

Famous people I learned as my sisters chattered between themselves, giggling at the improbability of their fate being that of some of the pilots though I had a weird feeling once I overheard the rates of sinking ships , which was in most cases very low but in the Triangle, though the pool boy that had been talking to another was quick to assure me that there was no danger.

The Triangle seemed docile enough as the sun went down during our evening meal. I couldn't quite shake the feeling something was happening, of course that could be the fear of storms at sea I had developed. At least that's what Destiny insisted when the topic came up at dinner.

"I'm sure everything is fine," she said lifting her water glass to her lips, "I mean, they wouldn't take big expensive ships like this into an area that is so dangerous if there was any serious risk at all."

"Destiny's probably right," Tommy agreed thoughtfully as he held Cayden's water glass for him watching how much the boy drank so that he wouldn't drink too much and note eat his dinner. "There's no way that the cruise line would allow a ship to go into dangerous water."

They were probably right, I decided as I lifted the glass of white wine - I allowed myself a single glass at dinner each night as my special splurge on myself and since I was buying my own way it was my decision, I was probably over-reacting because I was afraid of the power that the sea truly held. Of course, I had seen it up close and personal in a way that they had not - for the closest to a true storm that any of them had come, had been surfing and that was tame compared to what I remembered of the last storm I had been privy to.

Dinner progressed normally as it did ever with so many people around the table and as big a group as we were, there was no need for strangers at our table (personally I thought we were all strange enough anyway) and by the end of it the kids were starting to wind down, which meant that the evening would belong to the adults, or at least some of us.

I had planned to spend the evening out in the open air until I was too tired to stay awake, reluctant to sleep for the night before I had had another of the dreams that were indicative of the less... casual clues in relation to the pendant and I was uneasy about risking another dream. So instead of retreating to the rooms as some of us did, or like Kris and Autumn and Willow to the dancing clubs I was out on the outside balcony enjoying the view, the air and the fact I had my feet up drinking a mimosa (that's champagne and orange juice I discovered at my first sip - fabulous and indulgent enough to relax me which was the point). I had a metabolism high enough that getting truly drunk wasn't probably - the amount of liquor I would have had to consume was unhealthy and I wasn't willing to allow my senses to become that dull, not when my sisters were close to the blow up point from far too much togetherness.

The waves were picking up a bit and the wind did too, which I supposed was reasonable as I grew comfortably drowsy from the combination of the sea-air and the mimosa I was finally sleepy enough to crawl into my bed noticing with a small smile that Autumn had already turned in, of course the clock said that it was already two in the morning and I supposed sleepily that I hadn't seen the sunrise that it was a good night after all.

A few hours later I was awakened by the boat's wild pitching sending me nearly to the floor from the bed, and to Autumn's terrified shriek as she struggled to get dressed as the boat pitched violently the other direction, clearly being battered by an angry, unexpected sea-storm. "Throw me something - I don't care what!" I shouted as long as it's not a skirt." I amended as she threw a pair of black pants and a dark turquoise sweater as she and I crashed together.

"What the hell is going on?" Autumn shrieked as the announcement drowned out anything else she might have been about to say.

"We here at the SS. Festival regret to inform you that all systems are down on the bridge we have just enough power to get the life rafts into the water please go to your designated..." the announcement went silent in my ears as I heard 'lifeboat' and I threw on the first dark-colored clothes I could find and Autumn and I saw ahead that the others were struggling along as the boat pitched us backward as the thunder screamed overhead terrifying the children - one of which I heard scream as the corridor went pitch dark prompting me to sprint forward damning my leg as I pulled Autumn with me.

"Move," I insisted as Cayden bumped into me and I caught him by the arm as Tommy nearly bowled over both of us with the next roll of the ship. "We have to get to a lifeboat,"

It was a challenge moving through dark corridors and keep everyone together at the same time. But we managed and the pandemonium was enough that I reeled from the backlash of fear, anger upset and crying children all around us magnified for me by the rain and cracking thunder to match the lashing lightning that streaked violently across the skyline.

"Come on this is our boat!" Kris shouted pulling Willow into it with her as kids were passed to her and then as I was about to climb in after making sure everyone else was the boat started lowering without me.

"JUMP! We'll make sure you get in!" I heard Tommy's thunder of voice over the roar of the storm and on a leap of faith scrambled over the edge and I found myself nearly on the edge of unconsciousness with the feel of several sets of hands pulling me as my body came into reach.

"Let go! Let go!" I heard someone shout as I slithered to the bottom of the life boat as it began pitching with the violent tossing of the sea in the temperamental storm.

It was taking all of the adults a concerted and determined effort to keep the life boat from tipping over in the whipping winds and tumultuous and angry waves that had turned the waters from the inky-night black to something out of a horror movie I realized with wide eyes that what I thought was a particularly wet wind was actually a crashing wall of water.

"OH - MY -GOD!" Nikki's voice screamed over the roar of the wave, "Everybody hold on!"

I clung to the soaking wet rope along the edge of the lifeboat as the wave picked us all up and sent us spinning wildly through the air, only by some miracle the boat didn't flip over, that miracle perhaps being that for once all six of us were thinking exactly the same thing at the same time of 'oh please please don't dump us in the water' though mine ended with the realization that this was likely what I didn't remember about the time the sea had destroyed my boat in another part of the world, but no less recklessly.

We were hurled through the air a second time by an impossibly large wave that slid up under us as the boat was just about to land on the water safely and hurled us as harmlessly as if we were a child's toy in a bathtub. All I could hear was the screaming of the four children, the wordless wail of the chorus of voices screaming in unison, all I was able to feel was their terror on top of my own as the water pitched us over aiming for the water...


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four

Falling... the sensation jarred me giving me approximately six seconds to relax myself before water rushed up to meet me - and everyone else - I could hear the hoarse screams and the sobbing of children as we all fell and the water cascaded up over my head and I fought upward, looking around frantically as I coughed up water from lungs and counted heads as they popped up and swore as I only counted adults. "Where are the children?" I heard more than one of my sisters' voices ask in urgent unison, through water clogged ears.

"I don't know!" I heard Tommy's frantic answer his voice steadier than the first as I shoved water and hair out of my eyes looking around barely realizing yet that we weren't in the ocean anymore but in a large lake fed on both ends by a large, rushing river.

I have Cait!" I heard Destiny's relieved voice call out from my left and breathed a relief, that was one...

"Hey, get back here, shorty!" I heard Kris's voice and turned to see who she had hold of and breathed a sigh of relief - Kris had managed to dig Jayden up from the depths of the water.

"Cayden!" I heard the relieved sob in Nikki's voice further away to the right and trembled as that left one. Amanda.

My legs were screaming with the effort of staying above water with at least my head as I heard the spluttering of someone trying to catch their breath batting away a hand - without realizing what I had done as Nikki's howl of fear as I saw what she did -Mandy's head go back under water with a mouthful of it.

"NO!" I heard the howl of pain, terror and loss in Nikki's voice was nearly enough to send me into motion but the next sound had me nearly mindless with the drive to do something.

"MOOOMMYY!" the fear in Amanda's voice was garbled by the water in her lungs and throat both, but the word was clear as a death's bell in my ears and had me spinning half aware of hands trying to pull me out of the water and pushing off from the silt bank of the water way.

"Please - no you can't swim that -" a voice I didn't register behind me protested as I kicked off my ruined shoes in an effort to gain more momentum against the vicious current beginning a brisk breast stroke ignoring the twinge of pain up my calf as I fought the driving current.

"Raina! NO!" I heard somewhere Nikki's panicked scream as she saw the current drive Mandy under the water again pulling her farther away from all of us what I hoped wasn't the last time.

I wasn't listening I had zeroed in on the flailing, tiring child - my niece damn it all and I had lost enough - my sisters had all suffered enough be damned to hell and back if I was going to stand back and let a child die. I felt the water all around me, and I swam as fast as I could against the rush of the current, fighting down my fear as I lunged desperately once - missed her by inches and surfaced spitting water as I swore furiously as the girl didn't surface forcing me to dive under again making a desperate lunge as my strength was already bleeding away.

I could see her eyes wide with terror as I caught the squirming flailing girl around the waist and gasped for breath trying to fight the current and keep her head - and mine over the water - and kicked toward the water using my one arm to break the water away. "No you don't," I shuddered with the cold my teeth chattering as I only barely realized there were hands reaching over the bank and I slung Mandy toward the waiting arm out of breath and trembling as another wave of the current knocked me further and I felt myself sinking before a hand grabbed my arm and pulled hard enough that I all but cleared the water and I looked around trying to free myself frantic to keep track of everyone in my family when a hand yanked my shoulder spinning me as a scent that was both sea-salt tangy and earthy collided with my senses as I looked up the scathing remark dying on my tongue as I looked upward even as the feeling that I had been there before, in a pose not unlike that before I was sure of it.

Neither he nor I dared speak, though I didn't quite think I trusted myself to speak by then as I felt the shock, the cold and the sheer exhaustion beginning to dim my vision. I heard someone - Destiny I thought - called out a warning not to - when a warm hand slipped around my cheek to rest along the back of my head steadying my balance for a brief moment.

"I've heard of sparks flying before but I didn't think that was real." I heard Autumn say aloud to no one in particular, of course the rest of them were already setting up for a roaring good set of arguments.

I was keenly aware that there wasn't the jolt of pain shooting up the back of my head and sparking through my mind as a second arm wrapped around my shoulder as I began shaking all over again this time not from chill. "Ssshh," I heard the murmur before his voice raised and aimed elsewhere, ["Inform the Lady that Lothlorien has more guests for the festival, as part of the host from Rivendell."]

["Yes my lord."] I recognized the language and the words even as I heard the brewing argument between Nikki and Willow.

"You caused this! Just like always you ruin everything! Its all your fault!" Willow accused pointing her finger at Nikki who was being clung to by a trembling crying Mandy.

Nikki turned glaring at her sister, "Excuse me just how in the world could this be my fault or did you swallow more salt water than your brain could handle?" Nikki turned back getting on her knees to cuddle her daughter.

"Yes you did!" Willow fairly shouted angrily closing the distance between herself and Nikki who was trying to calm Mandy down and hold her temper at the same moment. "I don't know how you did it but I know you did you and that know-it-all attitude that always forced Kris and I to pull you out of trouble!"

Nikki stood up and turned putting herself between Willow and Mandy, "You know what if it wasn't for my as you call it know it all attitude you and Kris would still be hip deep in shit trying to keep yourselves from being killed and Tommy, Jason and the others as well. Now then I'm finished here Willow back off me and mine we all know your just jealous cause Tommy chose me over you and your drooling self." Nikki took Mandy's hand and pushed past Willow walking toward where Autumn, Tommy, Jason and I stood.

Willow's hand darted out and grabbed Nikki's shoulder and roughly yanked her backward and I couldn't hear what was said but the fury in Nikki's face said plenty as Destiny's argument with Kris was heating up to a boiling point as I saw Nikki's lips move, "Take your hand off me before you land on your stupid ass."

In the middle of that shouting match the roaring argument between Destiny and Kris was much the same heating up quickly and would escalate to blows quickly and it was Autumn - white faced and trying vainly not to cry keeping the children out of the blast radius with Jason and Tommy who both looked like they each had plenty to say about the whole mess to begin with.

"You wouldn't ever do that and you know it. Your always so full of big talk and no action." Willow hissed.

Nikki glared at her, "I will take your skinny no good ass out right here right now if you don't get your paws off me now and let me take my daughter to her father. Remember Willow you'll never grow up till you learn that there's someone bigger and badder than you that will take you out." Nikki's voice was so calm it was almost icy making Tommy and Autumn both give me a raised eyebrow.

_Well your confidence in me is endearing._ I mused for a moment and smiled wanly as I was already struggling to keep their emotions from tilting and spinning against my frayed ones and I sighed before drawing in a deep breath to interrupt the arguments and try to spare myself the brewing migraine when the entire area was filled with a single word, very loud and very direct.

"SILENCE!"

Even though I knew roughly what direction the bellow had come from I jumped nearly out of my skin and spun to see a controlled, if furious elf standing in the glade next to another, this one clad in shades of pale grey with his hands folded patiently before him the expression unreadable. I was just recovering from my shock of the bellow when one of my sisters so helpfully made an already aggravating situation worse.

"Just who the hell are you and what gives you the right to tell me or any of the rest of us to shut up." Kris sneered glaring hard at the newcomer.

"Shall I include or exclude the fact you're in the middle of my land?" the silver-haired elf - I realized by deduction that was what his race was though I didn't know him by name and I cringed inwardly though I moved to try to diffuse the situation, hopefully cutting off Kristina and her mouth.

["Then I do apologize for any intrusion and hassle our presence has already been."] I stated fluently in the elven tongue and with as much dignity as I could manage despite the fact I looked not unlike a very small very drowned rat as I stepped between the rest of them and the pair of elves, limping heavily despite my best effort not to show it.

Nikki looked around me her mouth opened, "Lord Elrond?" Her question made everyone stare at her like fish out of water.

It was a very faint flicker of surprise at the direct address of the elf as he nodded, "I am and if I am not mistaken you would be Nikki. Do any of you - at a reasonable volume level please - have any idea of what happened?"

The other elf raised his hand as grey eyes rested on the smallest, "Questions can wait, even if I much desire to know the answers as well." he trailed off as Cayden broke free of Tommy's damp grip heedless of any danger only to be caught by Nikki as he went to pass her squirming and irritated protest at her capture of his hand whined strongly.

"Cayden be still little man." Nikki admonished lightly only to lose Cayden's hand as he managed to squirm free.

"No I want down!" he protested in a tired whine as she tried to pick him up as I found myself being clung to by a still-weeping though blissfully quiet Mandy.

He darted out of Nikki's reach and moved with all the recklessness that only a child under four seems to possess and looked up at the two expectantly and raised his hands in a gesture that was universal and I couldn't suppress my surprise as Elrond bent to oblige looking at the rest of us with a faintly amused look.

"Cay-" Tommy began as Elrond spoke in a quiet voice to the child, brushing off the muck from the water from his face.

"Well young master seems you are the wisest of the land hm?" Elrond smiled gently, bending to pick the towel up and re-wrap the shivering boy before lifting him as if the boy was a feather, "I am going to escort the youngest to where a warm bath and dry clothes will be found all others are more than welcome to accompany or to find their own way." He looked around and met my gaze as I shivered and slightly - oh so slightly nodded at him in answer.

It was an unspoken question that to each of us was telling that we had yet much to discuss between us, at the same time there was even more that needed to be handled for my sisters and their many needs. It was almost sweet since Elrond had picked up Cayden, Mandy, Jayden and Caitlyn had ventured the same fate which I had to hide my reaction to the looks on my siblings' faces.

"I don't know about any of you but I'm cold, I'm soaked to the bone and if I follow the elf I know I'm going to find coffee somewhere along the way. You all can sit here and make asses of yourselves or you can play follow the elf." I said looking over to each of them, "Me, I want coffee almost as bad as I want a bath."


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

I sat waiting patiently for my turn in the water, knowing that the temperature I wanted would scald the sensitive skin of my nieces and nephews which meant waiting until all four were done. I was unsurprised to find that Nikki had caught up with us, though it was completely unnecessary. Within a matter of minutes Elrond had sorted out the four, and efficiently had the piles of soiled, soaked children's clothing waiting to be taken to the laundry and four shivering children in warm water, long robe sleeves pushed up past his elbows.

"I believe the saying is, it's not my first ride on this pony," the elf's voice was amused as he glanced back at Nikki as he dumped easily a small pitcher of clean water over Cayden's head.

"I've never gotten him to ever sit in the tub, how'd you do it?" she asked staring at him as Cayden laughed and splashed, "He's going to give you a bath too, you know."

Elrond's expression was faintly bemused, "No more than your daughter is going to soak Miriwien if she doesn't pay attention." he directed Nikki's attention to where a slender elf was assisting the girls in their baths.

"Amanda Rose and Caitlyn Desiree!" Nikki scolded her embarrassed as the water spilled over the edge soaking the lady's dress, "You two behave yourselves."

The female glanced over her shoulder the laughter in her expression as she spoke fluidly, clearly not aware that Nikki didn't speak the tongue well, ["It is quite all right, for girl-children too soon flower into ladies and forget what it is to enjoy simple pleasures."]

Nikki's brow furrowed trying to make sense of it as I shivered, trying to stop my teeth from chattering, "O-kay whatever," she decided obviously that Miriwien didn't mind the free bath, "You look like hell," she said to me her expression shifting to concern.

"I'm fine," I shook my head as I shivered beginning to examine my legs wincing as both were bruised and putting weight on them was becoming uncomfortable, "She said, by the way that it was okay, that little girls too quickly become little ladies and forget fun." I added with a smirk, "Where'd you go wrong?"

"Same place you did," Nikki answered realizing that I had been deflecting attention away from my injuries as Elrond finished up with the boys, "You get in there, I'm sure I can deliver the kids to their dad's and invade Des you look like hell."

"Oh bite me," I replied as Elrond rounded up the four and delivered them to Nikki.

"No biting allowed, and I believe Miriwien will show you to where the others will be gathered," Elrond said mildly, "And no, it was not a bother," he said nudging her subtly toward the door though that was about the last thing I wanted quite yet as my head was spinning and I had to sit down, "Sit down before you fall down," he said closing the door behind him.

_Bossy ass._ I thought to myself as I leaned to pull off the ruined flats I had been wearing wincing at the warped leather as I pulled it off and cast it aside and began doing the same to the other, as I looked up at him, "You're not planning to stay in here are you?" I asked him cautiously watching him as there was something familiar, too familiar about him that I couldn't place yet and I wanted a bit of time alone to think.

He frowned and I realized that he would have and at my obvious discomfort he relented partly, "I had planned to, partly because you appear to be in a great deal of discomfort, but if you wish I will wait for you to finish." there was a sense of disappointment in his tone and I frowned slightly thinking quickly of a way to spare some of his feelings.

"Maybe you could do something for me," I said hesitantly looking to him uncomfortably, "I need something reasonably presentable to wear, and a walking stick, and I think you can find both while I bathe." I phrased it as a statement, though my tone was more of a question that allowed both of us a small breather from the fact the air fairly crackled with electricity between us.

As the door closed behind him I gratefully stripped down and sank into the blissfully hot water, and let the heat soak into my body in a way that only someone who has injured themselves knows that it hurts and feels like heaven at the same time. I soaked for a solid quarter-hour and then set about scrubbing the sea-water and filth off of myself and set about cleaning out my hair using the nearby bottle that resembled it and was rewarded with the subtle scent of vanilla as I rinsed out the soap from it, feeling the tangling duel of the pendants I wore around my neck as they slid along their chains and after finishing climbed out a little more unsteadily than I wanted to admit.

A soft knock interrupted my drying and as such I had to leave my hair down around my face and shoulders the white I knew was stark against the vibrant red and looked up to find Elrond's stunned face and realized after a moment he stared at the pendants I wore for about three seconds before he regrouped rapidly and held out a small stack of folded fabric in one hand and a staff of what appeared to be some dark wood in the other, "Here, these should fit without a major refitting by the seamstress, the cobbler is inspecting to see if he has anything that might possibly fit your feet but barefoot in Lorien is not uncommon," he said as I let him in again and he shut the door carefully.

I turned and carried the pile to the bench I had used to sit on while drying off and examined what he had brought, not paying a lot of attention to where the elf was until the subtle warmth was behind me causing a small surprised squeak to escape my lips.

"Infernal stubborn woman," I heard him mutter without ire, if anything there was a flicker of something close to amusement and ... something else that was tickled my senses in a way that was eerily familiar and I couldn't remember why.

"Well if you've got a suggestion smartass I'm all ears."

"No, you're all attitude, but that's al right." he corrected with a softer sigh, "Here," he said picking up the jade-green tunic and rolled it so that it would be easier to pull over my head and I could still wriggle my arms into it.

"You have to back up," I said breathing in a scent that was sending a current I didn't want to deal with up my spine, "Or I'm going to lose my balance."

"As you wish," he answered and moved to my left as I dressed in the loose, comfortable slacks and looked at both with a frown and then shook off the feeling that I had seen it before as he reached for a darker green robe that stopped around my ankles and pulled my hair out of the collar of it. "Now you look a bit more comfortable." he remarked as I untangled the pendants and left one to sit under the tunic and the mystery one out in the open.

"Well other than the coffee," I feel pretty much like myself again." I answered him as he guided me out the door, "This should be interesting I wonder if they can go an hour without trying to kill each other." I mused as I realized that there was tension in the glade and I stopped short realizing why there was.

To one side, sitting placidly with several of the Lorien guards aimed with arrows knocked was Camtamin and the look of murder in all four of the older siblings as well the tears streaming down Autumn's face my eyes narrowed as I wrapped another layer of control around my temper. "What is the meaning of this?" I heard Elrond beat me to the question in fluid elvish when one of the Lorien guard who had no bow drawn but was standing between Camtamin and Autumn bowed once and approached as I looked over the scene.

["As was your request, several of the Galadhim stayed in the trees near the unexpected ones and this man,"] The elf's irritated jerk of his head indicated Camtamin ["Defied all orders and directions to stop and came across the young miss, who was only looking at the Lady's garden and when she didn't answer, I think to his satisfaction he struck her in the face,"] temper, leashed flared across his face at this, ["It was then that Orophin and I intervened and escorted him to here where you would likely bring Miss Raina. To determine what must be done.']

I, meanwhile had heard enough and gave the elf a small smile as I used the staff comfortably as a walking-stick and more easily than I had the cane. "What do you want." I demanded glaring at him feeling the stares of the elves.

"I already got it you stupid little girl," he sneered, "You're right before me."

"And hitting my sister was the way to do what precisely? Besides piss me off because that you do by breathing." I replied frostily, "What do you want." I demanded again impatiently glaring at him knowing that arrows or no arrows aimed at him that I was not falling into the line his delusions dictated that I should would incite a blind rage that I could use.

"She didn't tell me anything useful, like where I'd find my wayward child to take her home."

"Newsflash, I'm not lost and I'm not going anywhere with you." I retorted sliding my foot behind me for balance thankful for the loose pants that disguised my move as I saw his body posture change subtly.

"You're going to go with me, nice and quiet and nothing here has to be any more disturbed than you being here does." he said lunging at me as I danced out of his reach drawing him also out of the point blank range of the bows, but away from my sisters.

I laughed, the sound icy cold and mirthless, "No. I'm not, furthermore you can't make me." I taunted never taking my eyes off him, "Just like you couldn't make me do then what you wanted without violence you resort to it now." I spat slowly turning away from my emotions knowing to show any anger would only fuel his drive to attack. I knew I was on borrowed time, before the fact I wasn't rising to his bait and in fact inciting his temper with a steady, deliberate feeding of a fire and offered one final barb lapsing into my native tongue {"Face it old man you couldn't take out the child you can't take down the woman!}

I heard Nikki's sharp intake of breath as she was close enough to hear my words and the way she held onto her children was indicative that they were trying to get in the way, {"Stupid, little girl you're going to fall as hard as the rest of them,} he growled pulling out a whip, one of the few things that truly frightened me and I shoved aside the fear in a hurry, there was time for a meltdown later right now I had to get him preferably into the rushing river I was backing slowly, certainly toward ducking as he cracked the whip with a vicious _SNAP_ at me shifting fighting styles to counter the viperous lick of the whip in the air. The whip snapped close to my face this time curling just enough that I could spin catching it with the end of the walking-staff and popped my wrist so that it would draw the whip tight and allowed the feral glee of what I was going to do as soon as I heard it...

"Let it go you little craven witch!" I heard the command and the glee spread out from me as I flipped the staff so that it would send the whip's tip at him even as I used the momentum to flip myself through the air slapping the staff against the back of his knees and kicked the small of his back to send him forward with the tip of the staff jammed against his neck into the soft grass shaking with rage I didn't yet feel.

"You're going to get up, dust yourself off and get the hell out of my life." I hissed as I heard the trees around me groaning with the strain of the rage I couldn't feel but others likely did, "And stay out!" I added turning away from him considering the discussion over.

"Look out!" I heard Nikki's shriek as an arrow sailed past my hand so close that I could feel the wind of it on my fingertips.

"You were told to leave," the heavily accented voice spoke from my left as I realized two seconds too late that he had not, no surprise, done what I had asked, having ended the quarrel born of violence with peace.

"Not without her," I felt myself being lifted off the ground by my throat and the icy prison I had encased myself in shattered and the pain and fear I hadn't allowed myself to feel began a violent ricochet off of everyone and everything around me, beginning and ending with my nerves. I felt myself flying into the air at an unnatural pace that meant that when I landed it was going to hurt.

"Oh no you don't," I heard the lyrical voice as my back collided with a hard stomach as I was midway through the fourth.. or fifth flip over in the air "Ai, Elbereth its like holding fire," he swore to no one as I thrashed free as that fire was in my skin whirling around to find out what ... who had been hurt all through eyes that burned and tears that threatened.

"Let me go, Glorfindel, please." I muttered as I realized that it was the golden-haired Seneschal that had caught me in mid-fall.

"Easy, don't get in the middle of that," he said lowly putting his hands on my shoulders, "Trust me, this is not a normal in the city of Lothlorien."

I was shaking teary-eyed and supported more than half by Glorfindel's steadying, unafraid hands as Camtamin lunged past the twins' firm grip and a blade I hadn't seen him with previously in hand aimed at me when a swirl of dark burgundy velvet swirled around both Glorfindel and I and intercepted him snapping the curved blade out of his hand and a moment later he was dangling in the air nose to nose with Elrond whose words were nearly silent the grey eyes flickering with restrained rage.

"When next we meet, the field of battle will be running red with blood not darkened with the splintered of innocent trees." he spat with disgust and I realized a barely-controlled desire to murder - how much did he know or did he guess of why I was so afraid.

["My Lord, we will escort this man from Lorien's borders."] I did not recognize the elven male speaking to Elrond with a manner that spoke of rank, and of respect as the bow was not drawn from his back as Elrond passed him with a look that I didn't need to have translated in any sense of the word.

_But I was going to have to explain a lot to a lot of very upset people. Yippee. Thanks, Camtamin I really wanted to lay this all out of the table you jerk._


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Six

The instant he was gone, I was nearly bowled over the yowl of pain tearing past my lips as I had only enough control to keep from dropping Autumn who was clinging to me her tears making her words indistinguishable as I tried to extract myself without being unkind as the world began trying to spin. "Autumn," I called trying to keep my voice calm despite the fact that every nerve screamed and my instinct said to get away from her, from everyone around me, gritting my teeth as the touch of my hand to her shoulder sent a ripcord of renewed agony up my arm and directly into my brain, "Please, let go." I was ready to beg as the area was starting to become unfocused as a hand gently, but firmly tugged her free of me.

"Autumn, baby give Raina a minute okay, right at this second she's barely -" she cut off as I felt the well of rage burble and I slammed the staff into the ground leaving it vibrating as I ducked under several elbows fuming as I went, several glasses exploding as I began heading toward the river fighting back tears of pure angry frustration.

"What in the name of the Valar was that?" a voice asked, it had an ageless quality and I didn't look back standing near the river standing close enough if I slipped or was startled that I would fall in, and honestly I half wanted to.

"Which part?" I heard Nikki's answer as I could feel too her gaze on my back as I stood there trying not to listen to their words rather trying to utilize the calm rush of the water to still the stirred center of my being...

"The glasses.. the staff... that man..." the voice was calm and I could feel an unfamiliar gaze on my back and didn't respond to it.

"His name is Camtamin, he's Raina's father." Nikki said quietly looking up at the elf that had asked the questions, "The destruction thing... even our dad doesn't know exactly what happens, and the bigger her upset is the bigger the radius of stuff that gets destroyed." she shook her head and sighed deeply, "The staff.. well that was pure temper and I think she wanted to throw it but decided to smack it into the ground because she needs it."

"That's about as healthy of a father-child relationship as a cat with kittens that walks away."

"No really?" Nikki's temper frayed at him in agitation, "Seriously we don't know much cause she locks down tighter than a dwarf with a gem mine." her attention flickered to where Elrond was moving closer to where her sister stood by the river "I wouldn't-" she called and stopped speaking as he was standing behind Raina, "God I hope he knows what he's doing she's really not in a good headspace, I doubt even I could get an answer that wouldn't rip someone's hide off."

"He has a very thick skin," the elf answered mildly as several servants began clearing away some of the worst of the destruction, "And patience."

"He'll need both she's never very nice for a few days after that bastard shows his ugly face." Destiny said furiously, "And to make it worse, now she's got to put a lot of crap on the table that hell it took us every ounce of blackmail to get her to tell what little bit we do know."

"Which is next to nothing," Kris chimed in angrily, "She keeps all her secrets locked up in her twisted little head."

"We're not children anymore," Willow put in bitterly, "No matter what she thinks."

"I am certain there is a reason for it."

"Please go, I don't want to hurt anyone." I said to whoever it was that was behind me, my eyes were closed so that I couldn't tell who it was behind me, though I heard footsteps behind me on the grass.

"Raina," the voice held in it a quality that I recognized from the dreams I only half-remembered, and I looked back at the speaker my gaze holding in it the barely-controlled emotion that had him reach out with a hand seeming to let me make the next move, "Let me in," Elrond said softly, asking more than demanding as he didn't move any closer than what it was to extend his hand, palm outward.

"I shouldn't, he'll kill you too." I said softly, as the well of guilt threatened to swallow me - my mere presence seemed to have drawn the last living being I ever wanted to draw close to the elven realms, with their beauty and purity I had soiled, "I am sorry... I can't I have done enough damage here."

"You did not bring the darkness to Lothlorien, that man did." he said quietly, "Our failure was that we did not stop him from doing any harm." he said gently speaking I realized of the elves, which were a presence now interspersed with them - the same elf that had spoken to Elrond I realized was sitting near Autumn, who was calmer and several others were sitting among them. I recognized several and I didn't understand - such as knowing the name of the Seneschal who was standing near enough if there had been an issue to interrupt it.

"I'll be gone before sunrise," I looked at him quietly, "I do not want him returning to here, where I will go I do not know."

"No," he said gently, but I heard the command in the tone anyway, "You should stay here, where at least you will have some measure of aid to defend yourself, Raina you have no supplies, no food no clothing, nor shoes." he argued gently stepping closer as he spoke, "And it would be foolish of Celeborn to allow it, and I do not think he will." he added quietly, "For your father interrupted a few hour's time my dear not a lifetime."

"Easy for you to say until he interrupts every time you want to breathe," I remarked sarcastically, "And brave for a guy who barely knows anything about me - or them."

_'Elrond she has at best partial memory, she addressed me by name under stress. Be gentle.'_ Elrond heard Glorfindel's sent, and gentle warning admonishment, "I know enough that there is a family in need of aid, and it is not the way of our people to turn away those who come so far into elven lands to a fate that is so uncertain."

I blew out a breath and willed myself to calm and be reasonable, "Fine, I will accept the hospitality of the elves so long as I deem that I am no danger to any one of the residents here. When that is not the case, I will choose my next steps."

Elrond sighed deeply and reluctantly agreed to my stipulation, "Will you explain what happened today?" he asked guiding me to where two smells I found a great deal of favor with, "And yes, there is the coffee I am certain you are craving by the table, shall I retrieve you a mug?" the question was unsettlingly familiar but I nodded anyway.

"That would be great, granted I'm going to want something far stronger than that later I'm sure."

Less than five minutes later I was curled up in a comfortable hammock with a mug of my favorite indulgence and surprised that Elrond was sitting by my head just where I could see him and talk if I wanted, to though I was not interesting in talking I was half asleep.

"Let her rest," I heard the quiet murmur from an elven voice as a shadow moved as the mug slipped away from my fingers as I dozed, the hammock gently swaying as I did. "My friend, she is exhausted."

Two hours later I was stirred awake, somewhat reluctantly by a slightly smiling Glorfindel, "Come on, sunshine let's get you awake and pretending you feel like being sociable with the others hm?" he said carefully helping me out of the hammock.

I grumbled but reluctantly allowed him to walk with me through the city of Lothlorien to a room I realized would be mine, and looked up at him with a slight frown, "Um maybe this is an odd question, but how long are we to be here?"

The elf smiled slightly, "You and your sisters you mean? It is my understanding you are welcome here in Lothlorien as long as it is your desire, and I believe," he said sitting down as I opened habitually one of the wardrobe doors and frowned finding that there were already several sets of garments in there for me. "That it would be unwise for you to refuse such an offer."

"I won't stay long, not with Camtamin knowing I'm here. Guards or no guards, my Lord Glorfindel I won't place them in danger with my presence."

"You are adamant about that," he remarked mildly as I grabbed a set of deep blue robes and vaguely wondered why a moment as I ducked into the changing area and began to trade the soiled green ones for the blue.

"Yeah, I have enough blood on my hands from his deeds I do not desire to have the blood of any elf on them too." I answered appearing a few minutes later and reached for the hairbrush, "How come all these things were so easily found for me?" I asked him changing the subject.

"Because you are a guest under Lord Elrond's banner." he answered evasively and then tilted his head, "Any reason you picked the blue robes?" he inquired changing the topic on me this time.

I shrugged slightly, "I liked them? And ... it just seemed fitting."

"They're striking I'll give you that," he remarked easily "And they suit you," he decided aloud as I turned and returned his cool look in the looking-glass.

"Can I ask you a question, and have you not think I'm crazy?" I asked cautiously.

"Absolutely," he answered gently his gaze calm in the looking-glass holding mine steady, "Is something troubling you, aside from the emergence of your father?" he asked getting to his feet and to my surprise picked up the hairbrush.

"Between you, me and that mirror over there? Yeah I think so." I drew in a deep breath and dared voice aloud what I had only once said to my sister, "I think I was here, well not here-here but like here." I frowned as I was not making much sense to myself let alone the elf I was sure.

"Can you explain it to me, before we head to the dinner, if we are a few minutes behind I do not think it will be a difficulty." he asked running the brush through my hair with light, even strokes.

"Being able to speak elvish for one - that's not exactly on the curriculum at my home," I smiled faintly, almost wryly, "Knowing your name in the middle of that quarrel with Camtamin, for another."

"Those are interesting facts," he agreed as I pulled the pendant back out from under the tunic his brow quirking slightly though he didn't comment on it first.

"I don't know how I know, but this is important, I've had dreams with it and I am not sure if they're dream-dreams or like memory-dreams or just my subconscious mind fueling a crazy wish," I said anxiously, "In one of them Lord Elrond gave this to me, and I don't mean one time I see this, but multiple times, I'm sorry I'm not making any sense."

"I think you should discuss it with Elrond himself," he said gently, "particularly if you have had multiple instances of him in dreams, whether it is a dream of the mind or a memory or whatever it might be he is very wise in many things."

"I will, if he still wants to be in my presence after what I have to talk about tonight."

"I'm sure you underestimate the Lord of Rivendell."

"Wow that's a look, even for you." I heard Nikki's comment and smirked faintly taking my seat and moved the chair forward.

"My apologies for being late, I hope I did not delay everyone too greatly." I said addressing the elf sitting at the head of the table inclining my head slightly.

"No, it is no trouble, I trust you were able to find your way around sufficiently?" the argent-haired elf inquired mildly as all around us the meals were being patiently devoured.

"I had an excellent guide, in Lord Glorfindel who graciously assisted me in not delaying the meal any more than could not be helped."

"It is quite all right," he smiled reassuringly, "And I assure you, so long as your ... family is under the banner of Imladris you are each welcome here in Lothlorien."

I knew an offer when I saw one and inclined my head slightly in appreciation as a mug of coffee distracted me momentarily as it was placed next to the wineglass before returning my attention back to him, ["You have my heartfelt thanks, and I hope we do not drive your peaceful city into chaos for it seems to chase us on fairy wings."]

["I am certain, young miss that we here in Lothlorien can endure the chaos of four young children for a short duration, before something must be decided."] he answered fluidly as I smiled slightly raising my mug of coffee in a slight salute.

["May the white your lady so loves survive my nephews."]

Dinner slid into easy conversation and I paid careful attention to the tension between my sisters, two of whom were having a very quiet, nearly hissed argument. "Its your fault we're here," I heard Willow hiss into Nikki's ear as she snorted once.

"I did no such thing, and its really rude of you to bring it up now," Nikki hissed at Willow across the table, "For once pretend to be a civilized human being."

I politely pardoned myself and cast a warning look at Willow being sure to catch her attention, "We will refrain from finger-pointing blame at anyone until blame can be properly placed." I warned lowly, "And I will not have you two making any more of a mockery of our family than Camtamin does by breathing!" I hissed glaring at them both.

Dinner quickly progressed and at one point the topic of the afternoon misadventure with my most admirable father, "We will discuss that later," I said firmly placing the mug of coffee back on the table more steadily than I felt about it. "My tale, my terms." I added.

"And what, pray tell terms are you going to level on me to tell me that which I need to know in order to best be able to help with this situation?" the elven male answered, and I realized I knew who it had to be and I offered a hesitant smile.

"One, and its a big one, I want the children safely in their beds it is no tale for a child's ears and I won't put up with them learning of it all before they are old enough ot master their reactions to it." I said carefully, "And I suggest something very strong to drink, not only for myself." I added thoughtfully, "As well I would prefer not a huge audience at the same time cause its not exactly a fairy tale."

I saw consideration in the elf's eyes in the same instant I heard the indignation from one of my sisters, "Oh no you're not going to get away with telling complete strangers and not us, no damn way!" Kris protested slapping her hand on the table.

"They're not complete strangers!" I snapped at her irritably, not even aware where the words came from, "Furthermore, you really expect me to tell you, who can't even control yourself at the mere mention of possibly not being involved in something that didn't damn well involve you to begin with!" I snapped, inexplicably furious as I shot to my feet and nearly sent the chair over on its back.

"Breathe," I heard the murmur from the side as the goblet before me trembled with my slipping control, "In the nose .. out through the mouth," he said softly as I drew in a deep breath to calm myself.

"I mean it, not for your ears and not for theirs," I said meeting Kristina's eyes with a calm gaze, "It is a part of my past, not yours."

"And it affects our future too," Willow argued as I dug in my heels on the topic of telling them all at the same time.

"Raina brings up a valid point," Celeborn spoke from the head of the table, and my attention ripped from Kristina's face to his blinking as I held onto the table tightly for balance. "It is her decision whom to tell first, and how much clearly it is an upsetting topic and a large crowd, appears to be unfavorable for her nervousness."

Destiny, my sweet quick-thinking little scientist came up with a quick compromise as was her habit of a long time being a peacemaker, "Why don't we try trusting Raina to do it the way she's okay with, I mean its going to be bad enough laying out for anyone what we already know about Camtamin the jerk but to go into the other parts that she and Mom both won't, cut her some slack here." she addressed the older twins carefully and then me, "That doesn't mean you get out of telling us anything, but I kind of understand why you don't want to feel ganged up on about today." she bit her lip, "If you agree to tell us, on your terms as much as we really need to know, I mean if he's going to lash out at Autumn because she didn't know what room you were in what's he going to do to the kids?"

She had a point and I had to agree there, "All right, when I've had time to sort out my head after this evening - a timeline I cannot give you because have one I do not." I said meeting their gazes, one by one, "What I am comfortable telling you that will enable you to protect the children I will share."

The five of them looked at each other and for a moment I could see that they debated my words and almost in eerie unison they agreed. "All right, we accept."

They were not pleased with my backing them into a corner, that much was richly clear but I had wedged them in and I had bought myself some time to think about it. And, on some level I hoped that talking to probably a handful of the elves would make telling them what Dulcea and I had gone through a little easier.

Another hour, of mostly tense silence would pass before by nearly silent agreement the meal was over, and my sisters headed toward their respective guest rooms and I to my doom. To be fair I was probably over-reacting a fair bit but it was not like I was that comfortable with the whole situation to begin with.

"This way," Celeborn rose and wordlessly several others followed, and I was delayed momentarily by the tug on my sleeve and looked over to see Mandy's troubled face.

"Is everything gonna be okay?" she asked as I offered her a place to sit, mindful to keep my skin away from hers.

"I think so, you just do what you're asked and you know its right to do and everything will be okay for you, all right?" I said as reassuringly as I could, and reluctantly set Mandy back on her feet, "I have to get going or I'm going to be lost in the maze of this place."

I steeled my nerves and walked in and assumed given there were four - and only four elves actually in attendance, Celeborn, Elrond, Glorfindel and a dark haired elf that I needed a moment to recognize, somehow without knowing it, as Erestor. "Well that's I guess a bit better," I said nervously looking between them and picked the chair that was nearest the fireplace in the room.

"I did not think you desired it to be very public, by your reaction as such, I picked only the individuals that I felt would be more prudent to know," Celeborn answered picking a chair around the fire as Glorfindel took one chair, even as Erestor perched on the arm and I noticed the familiar wrap of his arm around the darker advisor's side and rest flatly on his thigh and that Elrond hadn't taken a seat at first but then I realized why as he held out a glass of wine, though it was in a sturdier metal chalice rather than a delicate glass. I gave it an amused look and then to him I looked with a faint smile and nodded my thanks as he sat. "Where do I begin?" I asked aloud not actually expecting an answer as it was more for myself than any of them.

"Wherever you think it is appropriate for you to," Celeborn's suggestion was remarkably gentle, and unexpectedly simple from what I found to be the norm for the elves and their frequent non-answers to rhetorical questions.

"There really is no place to begin easily, so let me begin with fact, some of them you already know, such as his name, Camtamin." I said quietly tilting so that I didn't have to see any of their expressions, choosing to stare instead into the flames in the fireplace, "My father," I added quietly, sighing once, closing my eyes, "And even here, in a living, breathing - and beautiful sanctuary such as this I am not safe from what he will do." I spoke quietly into the silent room, "Nor is anyone else, for he will stop at nothing, nor be stopped by anything or anyone to get what he wants so badly."

"What is it exactly he wants, beside the obvious funeral pyre?" Glorfindel's voice asked into the silence, and normally the tone would have drawn me out of the contemplation to look at him, and I did not.

"I no longer know precisely what twisted thought lay in his mind," I admitted quietly cradling the untouched glass in my hands, "I do know that whatever desire he might have, I have no intention, anymore than the child I was once did, to be of any assistance in the accomplishment of any goal." I shook my head slightly, "I am not much more than a possession he feels was taken away," I let myself feel the anger and the fire burned brighter for the projection of it, "And he will harm anything or anyone in his way." I shook my head, "To say that he is cruel is an understatement, and to say that he is the greatest evil I have encountered perhaps an exaggeration," I lifted the glass to my lips and tasted the stronger, sweet wine on my tongue.

"What, in your estimation is he capable of?" I heard the question as the glass lowered again and swallowed harshly.

"There isn't much he hasn't done once," I answered quietly shivering slightly as I hoped they wouldn't press closing my eyes trying to shut down an image that came from the depths of my mind and turned the contents of my stomach to bile.

"This would be that which you would not speak of me about once," Elrond's voice held in it a calm control that did not betray the simmering rage he felt, though that too I could feel and eyed him.

I nodded once, not trusting my voice to answer him with words at first, though I was vaguely puzzled by his question - when has I spoken to him of it? I had to work to control my fear and uncertainty, barely managing to make eye contact with the elf for more than a few seconds before I had to look away again, "Yes, if you say so." I answered closing my eyes, trying to close down the images that danced along my mind before I would get swept into the, or worse project the series of emotions that went along with those images...

_The hand snaked out from the inky darkness and grabbed a fistful of long, infernally red hair and pulled back sharply taking the small child completely off her feet before letting go enjoying the obvious upset as the girl bounced to her feet rubbing her head, amber eyes weren't watery with tears, no they positively flashed with restrained rage before she stalked off abandoning whatever she might have been doing..._

_ A little girl of perhaps five or six, red hair already streaked with white, a mystery that even she didn't understand the pale strands stark against hair the color of liquid fire and clean as a pair of man's hands dumped the bed sending the child scrambling to her feet only to be kicked in the ribs and falling, the shriek dying in the air as she crawled out of reach, aiming for the door..._

_ Two adults, one male one female stood in the barely-lit foyer arguing about something, and a little girl, no more than five hid in a corner trying to make herself invisible as the words escalated to screaming and small hands clapped trying to block the sound, but more the emotions of anger and hurt, and hate as the words spiraled into violence..._

_ The large man lunged at a teenage girl, perhaps of sixteen or so summers with waist-length red hair that did her best to evade him, knowing what would happen if she couldn't stay out of reach long enough to tire or escape and by the end only the grip of his hands on the last five inches to pull her back by when the image spun and tilted in time with the revulsion and shame focusing on the same girl clearly hours later._

_ Kneeling, dirty, with a dark bruise against her cheek, the tears streaming silently though the amber eyes screamed, the clothing once clean, neat dirty, torn and bloody in places as she shook reaching for a dagger sweeping the long white-streaked hair into a long tail and the dagger shone bright for a flickering second as she sliced through the thick mass of it and the cut strands fell in a curling half-circle as the only words uttered were simple, direct as there was rage in the voice, and controlled, "Not ever again."_

_ There were images so vile that even I didn't allow my mind to surface completely, but the allusion to them was enough that I felt myself retreating further into myself, trying to escape the images, the memories of what he had done in the fractured innocence of my early life and at last a beacon of hope, as I had been taught as a girl to find an image to pull up on when I needed to elude the icy grip of memory._

_ The man had dirty blond hair, framing his face in a swaying shaggy look that flattered him somehow, Nikki's eyes peering from under it as the smile was genuine, kind and affectionate as I could feel the hug around my senses, reassuring and gentle as the images thankfully stopped coming and the dark rose to meet me..._

I could feel the cool hand brushing against my forehead as my eyes fluttered open, and I saw a pair of relieved grey eyes watching my face, as I sighed deeply, "Did I fall asleep or black out?" I asked in a nearly silent tone.

"I think more the latter," he answered gently, "But we saw enough to understand, none of us will ask of you to do this again." I closed my eyes and almost dared to ask what they had been able to see, or what I had said and didn't have to as he lifted my chin knowing that the gesture would probably open my eyes to slits, his next words sparing me the need to ask, "We know, enough." he said softly the compassion clear as he shook his head slightly, "Your wishes we will honor, but I must warn you ahead of time, given a fair opportunity or reason, he will be killed."

I couldn't argue that, for starters I didn't have the reserves as my eyes closed again with a deep sigh, wondering as I slid into blissful oblivion how long that eerie prediction would take to come true, and if I wanted to know at all.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Nearly a fortnight had passed and life had settled down for Nikki at least it had. Her days in Lorien were not much different from her days at home - her time was dictated by the needs of the children, and spending time with Tommy or her sisters. Life had a sort of routine that was reassuring that despite the strangeness of the incidences, life went on.

Much of her time was spent avoiding Willow, who seemed to be the one most delighting in making her miserable, though Nikki no longer truly understood what the problem was - much of their feud seemed to be steeped in a past now over a decade old. One, Nikki quietly fumed to herself that quiet afternoon settling her son for a nap that hadn't involved Willow in the first place, but their adoptive parents and herself. _I still believe I made the right choice; and in the end I still managed to wrestle my happy ever after from the world._ she thought brushing back her son's dark hair, while the boy had her fair skin, there was no mistaking the heritage - his hair was as dark as Tommy's and the same smile Mandy had, the boy had, neither of which were her own sunny one, but Tommy's slightly mischievous one. _I just wish she'd leave it alone, before Raina loses it and murders both of us - and I think she might if another mess like dinner last night happens._

"Mommy!" Mandy's shriek cut through the quiet of the reading-room Nikki had been trying with moderate success to settle Cayden down in for a nap when Mandy's trill shattered the silence.

"Ama-" Nikki's scold was cut off by the shape of the girl's new clothing - her shirt was torn as if it having been grabbed from behind and there was a slice along her cheek that bled slightly still, "What happened?"

"I - I was playing in the flowers by the river - the tall man with funny ears said I could and that I could pick some - he even gave me little scissors to cut them and showed me how - and the bad man came up and tried to make me go with him..." tears welled in Mandy's eyes as Nikki listened her body trembling with fear.

"Mandy, how'd you get away?" there was a control to Nikki's voice that threatened to fall apart as she hugged the girl to herself, thankful that Mandy was all right but a sinking fear crawled up her spine.

"Aunt Raina came up out of like nowhere and I don't know what they said - I couldn't understand any of it," Mandy sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve, "but she made him put me down and - and she went with him, I don't know why when she's so scared of him."

"I don't know baby but you stay with Cayden and if he comes back I want you to scream, really loud."

"Like playground-loud?" the little girl asked suspiciously.

"Louder." Nikki said setting Mandy in a chair and headed for the door turning at the last moment to point at Mandy, "Do not get up out of that chair unless someone you know tells you to."

Mandy's lower lip trembled, "Was I bad? Was that why she went with him?"

"No," Nikki shook her head managing to smile at Mandy trying to reassure her, "but Mommy has to go find someone really fast, you stay with your brother okay?"

"But Mommy,"

"No but's Amanda." Nikki said firmly and hurried out of the room not hearing Mandy's whimpered words, bursting into silent tortured tears.

"But I have to use the bathroom."

"Now, isn't this cozy?" the voice was almost like nails on a chalkboard to me as I glared at Camtamin without emotion, knowing that my separation of emotion from myself was dangerous but it was the only way I had any hope of getting myself out of this situation. It had been stupid, to trade my life for Amanda's but ... she was an innocent child, whose only crime truly was that she was unlucky enough to be my niece and ... I liked the little girl. My life was forfeit anyway, in the eyes of most gods for the things I had done in different stages of my lifetime, and yet ... I clung to a fragile nearly forgotten hope that somewhere was a place of peace for someone like me this side of a monster for what I had done, what I was capable of doing.

"No." I replied coolly, squirming against his binds, frowning as they were too tight, too close fitting to be able to escape them hindered by the metal that circled both of my wrists so tightly that I couldn't squeeze my hands free, "You do know you're insane, right?" I retorted glaring at him, "As well when I get free I'm going to add another hole in your stupid head." I was at a distinct disadvantage but I wasn't about to allow him to think he had the upper hand.

"Big words from a little girl about to get a reminder of why she should have just fallen into line centuries ago." he remarked calmly as I uttered a bitter, cold laugh.

"Yeah well that goes right along with that trouble with authority figures that you so generously shared with me," I spat at him flatly, "I'm still not interested in being your pet so forget it."

"You say that now," the smile was purely evil as I glared at him, "We'll see what you think in three days by the time I'm through..."

A lone figure clad for the first time in many years in leather armor that fit closely to his body, the spear in hand as his dark burgundy cloak snapped in the wind as he surveyed the landscape that was their target for the third afternoon of searching in shifts. No one had come up with clues to where the man had vanished to, not even the most clever trackers and hunters in two elven cities. It would be rocky, rough going, with many little inclines that led up toward one of the smaller, but very dangerous passes up into the mountain range that was one part damnation and one part protection for the elven-realm of Lothlorien. This terrain made it a reasonable choice for the man, Camtamin to take Raina. He decided silently surveying the landscape.

"We need to go that way," Willow said pointing to the mountains as the others came up around her, refusing to allow the elves to search alone, "I keep trying to go that way, and if there's one lesson that Raina smacked into all of us, if your feet want to go one way go that way."

"Mine too," Autumn agreed her eyes red-rimmed from the last days of tears and of being in the sharp winds of the recent days, "And Willow's right, there's got to be some reason more than one of us is trying to go that direction."

"All right, it cannot hurt," Elrond agreed reluctantly and the group headed that way, knowing that a larger party would follow in short order for reinforcements.

It was a fruitless, almost hopeless endeavor, Nikki decided as one hour became three.. and heading into four as the sun began to set a sound seemed to have the elves' attention with their keen hearing, and their sharp eyesight.

"This way," Elrond's voice was low, and the elder Vanyarin elf frowned slightly catching the simmering temper in the other and signaled to Erestor to walk with him the quiet, but very silently deadly Chief Counselor seemed to be taking in every fact as quickly as he was, and assimilating it even more rapidly, even if both would discover not quickly enough.

I tasted copper on my tongue as I bit into the raw inside of my lip, as the feel of the scourge raked against my skin, knowing that what he sought was for me to cry out.

"You know how to end this," the voice was a crooning velvet as tears blurred my vision only half aware anymore as I dangled preferring the swaying weight of my body on my arms and shoulders to what he did when the lock slipped loose of the knot and I fell to the stinking bloody blankets under my feet. I refused to think about that as the next blow tore the cry from my lips feeling several lines open and bleed the tears spraying as I shook my head refusing both what he wanted and myself when I wanted almost nothing more than to scream out with the sharp pain of it.

"I'd rather die," I answered through gritted teeth truly preferring death to what he had informed me so helpfully what I was to do, and the scourge raked this time along my front causing a sharp hiss of pain to escape my lips.

"Now, now then where would I be?"

_Shit out of luck._ I thought as my head dropped forward the blessed realm of blackness promised me blessed relief from the scream of tens of thousands of nerve endings as they throbbed in time with my heart beat, teasing almost as much as my insides ate at themselves seeking nutrition for the functions that normally thrived on an astonishing number of calories in a day. _If there is a god... somewhere... here... please let him kill me tonight, I don't want to live like this not anymore._

I uttered a silent prayer to a god I no longer believed in as I was dropped off the chain to the blankets and swallowed barely the sound as the metal that kept me bound to the hook overhead felt unnaturally heavy on either wrist as I didn't have to look up to know where he was, and what would be next; forcibly turning my mind off to find a way to survive never hearing the words he would say as my head slammed into the stone and all the world went black with the unexpected blow.

The stench hit their senses first, and the elves moved around the younger women, and several hands stopped them as they all, almost in unison tried to follow behind, Haldir's voice in Nikki's ears made her blood run cold. "That is no place for a lady, no matter how bold or unlady-like she might be."

A minute after his words there was the sound of a body striking stone with a fair amount of force and the girls all tried to squirm free, of the hands restraining them as the only voice they didn't make out was Raina's and desperation almost had Nikki resorting to violence to free herself of Elladan's tight grip on her shoulders but for the fact the elf's face made it clear there was nothing that she could do to make him let her go.

Glorfindel ducked first and sent the man spinning away from the back of the cave his stomach rolling with the smells that assaulted his senses kicking the man at Elrond who shoved him toward the ground.

"She's mine, given to me, and then taken away and she came willingly, nothing- no one can make her be anything but what I bred her for." there was triumph in the man's gleeful voice set fire to a temper that rarely exploded.

"She was never yours," there was a father's ire in the tone as he waited for the inevitable lunge and grabbed the foul man's arm and bent it sharply, "Never will be." were the second words, that of someone whose feelings went far deeper, more meaningfully than that of a father.

"You can buy her," the tone was venomous and loud catching the second tone to the elf's voice as if it were a wine to savor and enjoy, "Damaged goods though I'll have to be taking a loss on it." grey eyes sparked and even Glorfindel moved away as a blur of movement caught his attention causing him to grab hold of an irate Nikki lifting her off the ground as she was the more individually reckless of the other five of the women.

"No, don't get in that mess," Glorfindel snarled into her ear, "One's out of his mind and -" he was cut off by the dangerous, deep growl that did not sound as if it naturally belonged to an elf's throat as Elrond's fist caught Camtamin just under the chin causing Glorfindel's voice to cut off sharply into the hollow sounds that bounced off of the cave walls.

"You will be silent," there was command and barely-leashed rage in the elf's voice as Glorfindel wrenched Nikki away from the pair but closer to where Raina lay motionless, which extracted an agonized sound from Nikki who squirmed free, though it was partly because Glorfindel was already kneeling beside her as tears streaked Nikki's face her fingers coming away bloody from lifting Raina's head off of the stinking blanket to cradle it in her lap.

" You! Take your hands off my property!" Camtamin lunged at Nikki only to be bodily yanked backward as sharp elven eyes saw more clearly the injuries and despite being not as broad, certainly physically stronger, Elrond slung him into the wall.

"You will be silent!" Elrond's voice was tight, controlled and constricting as he grabbed hold of Camtamin's shoulder spinning him violently around to face him., "hit me," he growled, "You're below worthless little man - if your best work is destroying a woman - pathetic." he snarled the temper he had controlled fraying.

"I already broke her once," there was malicious glee in Camtamin's voice as he continued not realizing every word was only deepening the hate the elf felt for him, "I'll do it again, until she crawls on her belly back to me." Camtamin spat in Elrond's face as for him that was an insult, for the elf however it only set another timber to burning as the man whose stench told colorfully his deeds burnt another his words sealed a fate as blind rage would overtake Elrond's normally reasonable mind, "She was never meant to be more than what I made her into now, and never will be ever again.."

Nikki couldn't see what happened as the light was too bright even as Glorfindel's hand covered her eyes to add to the shelter of the very pale eyes.

"Nikki!" Destiny's voice tore across Nikki's senses as she sat dizzy and dazzled by the doings, "oh my god." she breathed realizing why Nikki hadn't gotten up even as Erestor and one of the Lorien guards that Destiny didn't know carted the man's body outside of the cave and there were horrified words from the others outside.

"Do I even want to know how he did that?" Kris said, her voice a mix of awe and surprise as Orophin eyed her.

"I do not desire to know that which incited that far of a slip of control let alone whom it was that inflicted that set of wounds."

"I did it," There was a grim satisfaction to Elrond's voice that had the younger elf looking up at him and away from what he faintly hoped wasn't another body though that did not seem particularly promising. Despite the level of rage he surely felt, Elrond seemed to be calming quickly reaching to the golden brooch in the shape of a star that held his cloak together opening it before spreading it onto the ground with care.

"My Lord?" there was a question in Erestor's voice, Nikki realized in fact there was an entire sentence in the two words as she scooted back into Destiny's shoulder as they clung tightly together.

Elrond didn't answer Erestor, at least that Nikki heard though she wasn't even convinced that the advisor had been heard properly either. He was kneeling beside the stinking, bloodied blankets staring at what looked to be the empty shell of a once-vibrant woman for a minute, before moving slowly to pick her up. It was the gentleness one normally reserved for a newborn child, something both Nikki and Destiny knew well; one hand slid tenderly under her neck to support her head as Elrond's second hand wormed under Raina's knees to lift her with gentle ease, naturally light weight but now, broken apart. He turned to place her on the cloak he had taken off, and Nikki realized just how bad it was and new tears streamed - Raina's face had no color left in it, and the wound on her temple bled freely, as did several other various injuries.

Erestor grabbed Elladan's shoulder and shook his head slightly, knowing that as deep as Elrond's rage went, the least interference of anyone to his movements would likely incite a very vehement lash out from the normally very collected elf. "Come on, let us get everyone ready to head at all speed toward Lothlorien city proper."

Fifteen minutes later Elrond was the last person to exit the cave carrying the cloak-wrapped bundle of a direly injured Raina. He did not speak a word, and it was clear by the look on both of his sons' faces that something very dire would have befallen Camtamin had Elrond already with deep prejudice eliminated any further threat of the man. He did wait for any other, though several individuals hurried to catch his pace, including Elladan and Elrohir who seemed troubled, and deeply so as one of the Lorien guards, who had still his hand on Autumn's shoulder reassuringly spoke into the silence.

"We should return to Lorien, these hills still sometimes teem with orcs when the night falls tonight is no night to tempt the ire of not one but two elven-lords."


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty-Eight

If the Lady of the Wood were feared under most cases by the inhabitants of the realms nearest to the Golden Wood then the whirl that was the Lord of Rivendell would have inspired fear rather than the serene, peaceful image when the city and its normally benevolent Lord were brought into mention. If normally his name brought comfort and peace to those around him the demeanor was that of a man holding something precious that was broken past repair.

Nikki heard both Haldir and Elladan - she thought it was Elladan giving out curt, brisk orders - as several others spread immediately throughout around the area offering free room to move to the shaking elf, backing the five of them into one corner of the room well out of the way as Elrond's appearance revealed why the two had moved in rapid, fluid concert - his steps were hollow on the ground and to Nikki's ears and senses it was a death-bell that she wasn't ready to believe was possible.

He carried her the way one only carried something vitally precious, wounded and the elf barely seemed aware as he was turning away from the side of him that could slaughter a man in an explosion of emotion and exacting precision, there was no doubt that Elrond's blow had killed Camtamin instantly and sliding into a role he was familiar and comfortable in, that of the Healer that had coaxed the spirit of many elves and men away from the Halls of Waiting, and the White Shores of Valinor. He was both the warrior and the healer, and the battle won, but the price Elrond was no longer sure was not so high as to be damning.

No one dared to speak but for the quiet, demanding tones that Elrond gave commands - ones that the sisters huddled into a corner, interspersed by the elves that had become friends with them could not understand. One of the Lorien guards sat with Autumn at his feet, his fingers braiding and unbraiding her hair to help quiet her silent terror; the sons of Elrond had realized that their place was with them as Elrond had given a slight shake of his head at Elladan's approach, and others here and there were not far away.

Only Glorfindel, Erestor and Celeborn seemed to be spared the icy chill of Elrond's current temperament, while it was not his home, nor his realm there was no doubt of whose command the room was under, and the Lord of Rivendell was in no mood to be argued with as he set about triage first tending the worst of the injuries and after a quarter-hour's time he would wrap the cloak around her again, and as he did, a litter appeared carried by two elves clad in a pale green robe each as Elrond did not address them, he instead turned and met his elder son's gaze.

This had Elladan on his feet and in motion within a heart-beat's time as he placed his hand on Elrond's shoulder speaking in a low tone in their native elvish, ["What is it, Father that you require of me immediately when your work is yet incomplete?"]

Elrond's smile was wry, as he nodded once, ["I will not tarry here long, please pass my words and my warning to the sisters of Raina; it is my belief that should she live to see sunrise then tomorrow will be a telling day."]

["When she wakes to the sun."] Elladan answered shaking his head offering a slight smile that was nearly the same as the one that met his attempt, ["Believe in her, my father as I believe in you."]

Elrond nodded once and turned to walk briskly past leaving Elladan with a difficult task, one that normally Elrond would have undertaken himself, but it was clear there was much more that needed doing.

"What did he say?" Nikki asked shivering with nerves and cold both.

"My father offers a glimmer of hope, and a warning." Elladan answered softly his tone as grave as his expression, "It is his belief that should she live the night there is a reasonable expectation she will recover, to what extent he does not yet know."

"It's bad, isn't it?" Destiny asked reading easily between the lines of what hadn't been said, and able to see partly when the elf had been moving and, like Nikki she knew and guessed of what Camtamin was capable of.

"Yes," Elladan opted for honesty as he met their gazes, "Though I believe in both of them, in what they are capable of."

Elrond had fallen asleep in the chair hours later and jerked awake to the pulling on his sleeve and jumped blinking his eyes to clear them as he saw the teary-eyed young girl whose bottom lip quivered. "Why are you awake, little miss?"

"I'm scared the bad man will come back and hurt us again." Mandy's lower lip quivered as he offered a hand and as she took it Elrond pulled her up onto his knee to hold the child's eyes more readily.

"The bad man will not come back again," he said softly using his fingertips to wipe away her tears, "That I can promise you."

"But he always does," Mandy sniffled, "And when he does, Aunt Raina always vanishes and last time it was forever before we saw her again."

"I understand," Elrond was gentle with the child, though his nerves were jangling and pained from his hours of work, "Though I can promise he's not coming back again."

"You promise?" Mandy's eyes were big, "You mean it?"

Promises were a big deal to a little girl looking at her first decade, he remembered well the first ones to another little girl many years before and Elrond allowed himself a small smile despite how tired he felt, "Little miss I do not make a promise that I am not sure that can be kept."

Mandy nodded and looked at her and then out at the window as the sun began its ascent into the sky pointing at it, "Look, its morning, the sun comes up."

This brought a first real smile to the elf's lips as he set Mandy on her feet and moved to examine Raina's injuries grateful for the slight raise of her chest as her lungs worked properly as he put his hand on her head, "Why don't you go wake up your Mommy and Daddy with that knowledge, hm? I think your Mama needs a bit of good news, and tell her that you are my morning messenger-bird." he smiled gently as she ran out of the room giving him a silent moment to relish in the relief he felt.

"Good morning, little fire-bird." he murmured even as she slept taking his seat again beside the bed, "You have some strength to you that even I did not dare to hope for."

I felt my mind surfacing as a cool cloth was wiped across my forehead, shifting slightly as I blinked squinting as I immediately regretted opening my eyes feeling the flurry of emotions around me - it was a dizzying array of relief and love as a body collided with my own in a close hug as I had to clamp my jaw closed to stop the yelp of pain that threatened to become a deeper shout of it.

"Autumn, please." I whispered when I trusted myself enough to not scream as painful as it was to have her close.

"No," I heard the muffled, childlike stubbornness and something suspiciously like laughter irrationally surged through me, "Not gonna."

"Please," I whispered in her hair tears burning my eyes, "you're hurting me."I whispered as my head began throbbing along the same beat as my heart's pace my lungs burned with the pressure of her weight against my torso even as my vision dimmed around the edges.

I saw the hand gently, but firmly pulled her away from the bed, and I exhaled deeply shuddering as nerves that hadn't blared to life surged with it and every one of them ached, burned and with pain and despite my intent not to I whimpered with it trying to curl when my limbs refused to comply. ["You my lady are a welcome sight for tired eyes,"] I was rewarded by the visage of the elf whose presence had invaded the fog of my fitful healing and I wanted to have him stay, I had questions as I tried to make my hand reach to him, missing widely though he didn't seem to mind. "I want to inspect her injuries and you each should begin to prepare for your day, and please one of you inform Lord Glorfindel and Lord Celeborn that she is awake and that if I am needed here I will be."

"What...happened?" I whispered my throat too sore to try to speak above a whisper, never mind that my head felt like it would explode if any sound rose above a quiet tone. "And, how were you ..." I trailed off trying to make sense of what I had seen in my fitful rest, not all of it current I was certain.

"You have been unconscious for two days, since we were able to extract you from his hideaway," Elrond explained gently as I didn't look at him staring up the vaulted, high ceiling instead, "In which time your injuries were treated, wounds dressed and wrapped in clean cloths as necessary," he said the voice as gently hypnotic for me in my more awake state as it had been previously and I let my eyes close as he spoke, "What do you remember?" he asked placing his hand near mine on the soft bed.

"Not a lot," I admitted the truth as the well of utter despair threatened to climb up over my head and swallow me whole, "I remember telling him 'no' in various forms repeatedly - refusal was punished," I gave a small, animal-like grin and managed to continue tiredly, "I lost count of the time he hit me, or worse I was more interested in keeping myself sane at that minute, and still not giving up or giving in to what he wanted. I - I don't even want to talk about some of it." I suppressed the shudder as I looked out the window and despite myself uttered a small squeak at the feel of his hand on my cheek.

"Then do not," he answered softly, holding my eyes with his gentler gaze, "Sleep, Raina and we can talk again later or you and anyone you prefer to talk to will answer a summons to you." he said softly placing his hand over my eyes for a moment and I soon found myself in a calming, restful sleep within a few moments.

"Walk with me," there was no suggestion to the words, but a direction that even among the wise it was ill-advised to defy Celeborn's suggestion. The fatigue in grey eyes was apparent at even the ten yards away that he stood from the younger elf, and he needed to rest, to recharge his reserves before returning to his familiar task as a healer.

It was no unfamiliar sight, for the elves around them, to see Celeborn and Elrond walking together, sometimes talking and others like now in comfortable silence as they arrived at Celeborn's private sanctuary, a place where only close friends, or family were permitted, and it was one place in Lorien that even the Lady of the Golden Wood did not tread uninvited, particularly if the doors were closed as they were that day.

"What is it you wished to say, without listening ears to overhear?" Elrond asked him settling into the chair nearby.

"Eyes I have in my head to see with, and enough wisdom to understand your conflict still, even if you think you have resolved it." Celeborn said quietly, "You haven't not really, furthermore you are aware of it," Celeborn's smile was slight, "Far too knowledgeable of your own nature you are to not know that I am correct in this."

Elrond's head rested on the back of the chair closing his eyes, "I am aware yes, of what you speak." he was opting for a neutral stance, even if his words were agreeing with Celeborn.

"You also expect anger, or insult from either Galadriel or myself." there was a calm knowledge to the quiet voice, as his fingers traced the vines carefully carved into the arms of his chair familiar enough to not look to see them, "I am neither," he said catching Elrond's gaze with a slight smile, "Why should I be displeased that the son I gained in losing my daughter, who did his best to provide for her and the family they made together, at long last seeks for himself a companion to share the passing of the seasons with?" He saw the protest already forming on the fatigue-driven tongue and raised a hand to silence it, "Already your sons have come to me and argued your case, you needn't do so." he was faintly proud of the way the elder sons of Elrond had stood up for, and beside their father to argue before their grandfather, an individual both were particularly fond of. "For I already agree with them."

For a moment Elrond was left speechless, though that might also be attributed to the fact he had slept perhaps two hours in the last two days, "They are a persistent stubborn pair aren't they." he mused with a chuckle that betrayed his exhaustion fully.

"They take after their father's side," There was a hint of pride and amusement in the other's voice, "And, as my particularly astute grandson put it, defiance is no stranger to your lineage."

"No, I suppose it is not," Elrond answered stifling a yawn, "Would you be so generous, my friend to allow me to rest a few hours perhaps I fear I will not sleep much as it is." At Celeborn's nod he rose unsteadily and found himself pushed toward one of the longer couches in another section of the room, clearly somewhere that Celeborn himself had often fallen asleep within a minute of laying down the elf's gaze closed in rest.

"Rest," Celeborn murmured as the sensitive ears had Elrond already stirring as he stepped to retrieve one of the blankets form nearby, "You will have enough on your hands when the full dynamic of the six of them is revealed, particularly with the voice of reason at less than par strength."


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

"You know somewhere along the way this is all your fault," Willow backed Nikki into the corner, taking advantage of the fact that everyone else was focused on their own lives or taking care of Raina who was in no shape to get up and end their feud.

"You know, you can just kiss my ass, I'm not in the mood to deal with you or your petty shit today," Nikki retorted pushing Willow's shoulder to back up and get the room to move around her and paused a few steps away and glared at Willow over her shoulder, "And you still need to grow up, because someday someone's going to kick that chip clean off your shoulder."

"You're not big enough to do it," Willow hissed as Nikki started walking away, glaring after her, "And you stay away from Autumn we already have the family whore."

Nikki stopped walking and turned to look back at Willow coldly, "Here's a memo you missed, I've been married to the same person I've only ever slept with can you say that?" she retorted icily and continued on her path into the sunlight even as Willow stalked the other direction neither one aware that their conversation had been overheard.

"Now that needs to be addressed," Elrohir murmured to himself having overheard their heated, short conversation, "Preferably before Raina gets up and around and has to do it herself."

I found the strength to crawl out of the blankets and to the floor two days later able to still smell him... what he had done to me mingled with the bitter copper of the blood on my skin and on the remains of my clothing that I stripped off and abandoned them on the floor as I turned the water to the hottest boil it would reach and slunk into the water and only in the silence of the running spray did I let myself break down a little. Tears ran with the water that coursed down my face as much as I didn't want them before anger replaced sorrow and I scrubbed my skin with the soap so helpfully placed in the bathing area until it hurt to and my skin was red and raw before I ran the water out and dizzy, vomited anything in my stomach, likely a clear broth and acid that left a foul taste on my tongue as I shuddered my way through the memories hazy as my mind had refused to allow the deeds and the hours to sink through but what had and the wounds I could see were telling enough as I vomited again clinging to the edges of the bowl for a moment to steady myself before nearly crawling back into the bed finding a long sleeping shirt somewhere along the way and pulled it on over the bandages.

I wasn't hungry and I didn't eat the meal brought to me, rejecting it outright as I rolled over facing away from the door and trembled as I heard the disapproving cluck of a tongue as well the door thank gods closed behind the figure and I dropped into fitful, restless sleep trying to outrun myself knowing I was the only one I couldn't elude, deceive or manage to convince I was fine when I wasn't.

I didn't eat or drink anything for three days, that is I didn't eat or drink anything during those days that didn't come up again when on the morning of the fourth day I woke up to one of the last people I wanted to see sitting beside me on the bed, my second-youngest sister and the one I had the absolute most difficulty lying to.

"Nikki, go on out into the sunshine, spend time with your children." I said deliberately turning away from her, not at all ready to deal with anyone, her least of all.

"My children are busy chasing Tommy and Jason around one of the big fields I have the time to look in on my big sister." Nikki countered carefully not touching me. "We're all worried about you, I mean we've all seen you chase him halfway around kingdom come and keep right on going," she hesitated and I could feel her trepidation. "He's not coming back anymore that I can promise you."

"You'll forgive me if I find that impossible to believe." I muttered burrowing into the blankets closing my eyes trying to keep from remembering the pieces I did from the glade or the way that act had shattered the tenuous peace of the land - the whole damn world for me.

"I know you don't believe me yet, but I saw it - I've never not even as a Ranger seen a thing like it, but he's very dead, Raina. I mean like pushing up the pretty flowers kind of dead." she frowned at my disbelieving look, "I don't know all of it cause well I couldn't see it," she sighed once, "All I do know is when he was done, Camtamin was dead and we had one pissed off elf to deal with and pray that he didn't lose his cool at us too."

Depression, I knew its embrace well and I was sinking into it with both feet, the mire of it a welcome kiss on my face and I saw little reason to fight it back as I had been doing much of my life. Even in his death, Camtamin had cost me everything I had worked so hard to get; my control, my relationship with my sisters was in tatters and more, the one person I wanted to look at me wouldn't even come into the same room without easing right back out for more than a few minutes even if those few precious minutes were for me a mixed blessing - a drip in time in which my mind relished the company and trembled internally because I truly began to suspect something much more had been once and might never be again.

I had a consolation of a sort, even if it wasn't really the one I wanted, in the daily visits from Glorfindel who seemed to be the only one unshaken by the certain knowledge of the cruelty of my father, a man I hated and feared even in death. Very often his visits were silent ones, with both of us reading, but the company was enough. It had to be.

The day fit my mood even for Lothlorien where it so rarely rained it poured buckets from the skies and lightning streaked violently to match the rolling thunder that hammered across the ground and sky alike. I sat curled in the window watching the rain fall and ignored the knock on the door too moody to bother getting up to open the unlocked door - I hadn't locked my door since the first night when Autumn had panicked when she couldn't come to me just to sit and read nearby. I was as miserable as the weather and the emotions I bound up in me and churned under the surface showed as I glanced aiming for a glare that fell far short toward Glorfindel as he patiently shut the door behind him and walked to sit on the half of the bench I wasn't using.

["Oh, little one."] I heard the resignation in the gentle tone and the tone indicated that my tenuous shields had shattered the rest of the way and he knew everything I didn't want anyone knowing. His hand grabbed carefully under my arms and pulled firmly tightening only enough to keep me from kicking free of the grip that was intimate - I'd told him things about myself that even the closest of my sisters did not know and he still came to see me.

It wasn't the embrace of lovers - hell I knew I was the wrong sex for the elf - but it was the one that broke down the dam of emotion that was swallowing me whole. I raged, and sobbed at the same time, and the guilt ate at me as he took blow after blow both the physical ones - I was barely aware of my hands' blows glancing off of his mid-section and eyes the color of sky in summer were closed against the torrent of pain and anguish and the sense of loss that I felt shuddering through me as I dumped it out never hearing the door open until Glorfindel's voice smoothed over my head even as I hiccupped with the raw emotion that I strapped down tighter than a drumhead and now that it had broken apart I couldn't stop the torrent.

"You came." there was genuine surprise and relief as he stroked the back of my hair damp as it was from the tremble of emotion, "I'd rise my friend but your small kitten has me pinned." there was pain in his voice that was mine as well as their words drifted away from my senses as I rested my head against Glorfindel's stronger shoulder spent emotionally and while I had purged much of it there was so much more already bubbling threatening to pull me back under the forceful tremors.

["She needed you."] there was no accusation in the tone and a bit of wonder as I turned to see the face I wanted to see without the ice and the hurt and both were there.

["A child will starve without love, Elrond and love is what she needs, on so many levels."] there was no rebuke in the elder elf's tone as I trembled feeling a fight brewing already, ["Mine isn't the love you have, you know this - have we not discussed it before?"] the fair hand stroked over my head and back comfortingly even as he ground his teeth with pain as I began deepening a bruise on his ribs, causing him to shift and grab both of my hands in one large one, "Stop hitting," he commanded the tone both reprimanding and affectionate so much so that the shock of it sent a current up my spine it was familiar - and reminiscent of Luke who had taken much the same stance without using restraint as he had, and surprised me with a soft kiss to my forehead after I stopped thrashing to free my hands, and a shuddered breath had my head on his shoulder.

I felt the raging jealousy of the elf sitting near- yet so far as I quivered half with cold and half with raw exhaustion as the conversation flickered between them and I drifted again almost asleep when I curled up on myself and a leg became a pillow and I drifted utterly out of awareness though their discussion continued.

["You are right,"] there was resignation in the voice Glorfindel recognized as the part of Elrond that was the healer, the dutiful and kind leader, but under was the raging jealousy of the part of him that the woman had awakened once, and he could concede that seeing anyone curled up with Erestor would have sparked a rage of jealousy in him too. ["Is she well?"] there was the genuine concern that had marked the elf a leader - one part warrior as those there in the glade had been reminded firmly of, and the scholarly healer that cared for the well-being of those around him.

["No."] Glorfindel opted for brutal honesty watching Elrond's face calmly,["But I hold hope for this child,"] It occurred to him why his friend would pull away from the small, thankfully sleeping enigma smiling a bit as he saw where her head rested, using the side of Elrond's thigh for a pillow, and to know where he was, ["She's not Celebrian, my friend she's never tried to be anything but herself. You're afraid of losing again, in this case a second time."]

["I know I will."] there was sorrow in the tone and an ache, ["And like a moth to flame I can't stop myself. Do you know the hours I've spent here watching her sleep just to assure myself this is real? That she's here in Lothlorien?] there was pain in grey eyes as he shook his head, ["I'm extending the invitation of coming with us, to all of them when we leave in a short time for Imladris."] Elrond frowned at the sleeping head and that his hand protectively curled around the fragile shoulder.

["I had wondered if you were going to."] there was a smile toying at Glorfindel's lips, ["Stay here tonight,"] he paused and smiled faintly at the shocked expression["She needs you," there was hesitation in his voice as he caught his friend's shoulder keeping him seated as he rose, "She calls out in her sleep sometimes, Elrond often in her odd native tongue but the last three times I've watched over her - at your request she's asked your forgiveness in her sleep."] he stood to his impressive full height and grinned faintly at his friend's shock and decided to kick him one last time, ["Now that my heart's-child has finished using my ribs for a punching bag for a night I'm going to see if I can't sweet-talk my way into one of Erestor's massages. Stay here."] there wasn't suggestion in the tone anymore than there was less than stun in his admission of the golden elf's feelings about the woman and knew even though he wanted nothing more than to hide in the cold of his own blankets he wouldn't risk having to face his friend later...

"So, what do you think of these strangers?" Elladan looked at Haldir quietly as the paler elf tilted his head gently to the side contemplatively.

"I think they have a lot of trouble for a race that does not live long enough to solve most of them in a generation." Haldir said thoughtfully after listening to Elrohir's explanation of what he had witnessed earlier that day.

"As well, I do not think that anything good will come of allowing them to continue to add to the stress that Raina feels." Elrohir added taking a sip of his wineglass, "The last thing I'm interested in seeing is that woman's temper, if only because seeing that will only add to the fuel already darkening my father's mood too."

"Her nerves will not withstand that," Orophin spoke up quietly from his seat between his brothers one hand cradling the glass gently, "Not with spirit-wounds that run as deep as the ones I was able to see."

"What do you propose then, Elladan since clearly we are all in agreement that something must be done." Haldir asked more than accustomed to singling out an issue and solving it.

"We observe a little longer - foster the friendships we have already gained," the subtle cast of his grey eyes landed on Rumil who nodded slightly.

"You won't have me hard pressed to do so, for my part." Rumil spoke quietly thinking of the quieter flower of the group, "And I will try to keep her out of their fray it seems that whatever the issues are do not directly involve Autumn and I will do my part to minimize any involvement."

"We observe, meet nightly and hopefully prevent a full-scale civil war before it erupts under our elder's noses." Elladan nodded with a slight frown, "Preferably before it cases a setback for Raina, something I do not think will settle well with Father particularly."


	40. Chapter 40

/Author's Note: Bonus points go to Glory Bee for picking up some subtle hints here and there that I hadn't gotten to developing fully but great spot! And yes, that will come into fruition a bit later on in the tale, but first back to tormenting my favorite anti-heroine. R&R and let me know your thoughts too everyone.

Chapter Forty

About a week further into my impromptu and unexpected stay in Lothlorien, I woke at an infernally early hour and that because of the dream that I couldn't quite shake related to the one elf that couldn't quite seem to bear being around me for more than a short while, and I rose to seek a mug of coffee. Yawning I walked slowly along the corridors to where I knew a pot for coffee stood at most times and stopped short realizing that I was not the only one who could not sleep as well.

A quiet, grey gaze seemed genuinely surprised as his hands paused in making a mug of what I surmised somewhere was tea, as he favored it I realized I knew that and not because of the last few weeks in Lorien either. "Can't sleep either?" he murmured as I steeled my nerves against the frigidity that seemed to pour off of the elf since shortly after I woke up to realize that I wasn't, to my surprise I wasn't dead.

"No," I answered softly beginning to fix my mug the way I liked to drink it -strong and sweet and looked up at him, "You are up very early today for someone who is but a guest."

The smile was very slight as he turned toward me, "There are times that memory is stronger than the body's want to rest," he glanced toward one of the nearby balconies, big enough for two and private enough to not be overheard not least in the predawn hours. "Would you indulge me with a few minutes of your time, before the city wakes and there is none but the preparations for my delegation's return to Rivendell?" he asked slowly watching my face closely, too closely.

_Sure just what I want to do spend an hour or two making nice conversation when my brain just finished giving me an eyeful of what might have happened, cause if that's a dream I need to get a casual fling going._ I thought to myself even as I answered "I do not believe I have anything pressing to do for the next hour or two that cannot wait." I answered calmly as he and I both began heading toward the balcony and he closed the doors behind me as I sat down.

"First, if I may," he said sitting down and set the mug aside, reaching for my hands before stopping himself, "I owe you a great many apologies for my actions, they are inexcusable , and perhaps unforgiveable by now and I am truly ashamed of the things I have done and said in the last weeks."

I hadn't been expecting that and I couldn't hide my surprise if I'd wanted to by then as I looked up at the elf, and could not find any deception or lie in his gaze or in the search of his eyes, and chose to speak slowly, "Then why," I blurted out the question I most wanted to know, "Why would you of all people first step into a fight that damn well wasn't yours to fight and then turn around and just - " I couldn't speak I could barely breathe for a short time as tears and emotion cut off my voice.

"The first, because it was right, and the second because ... well there is not an excuse by now that will ever justify or remedy my treatment of you these last weeks." he answered slowly and more steadily than I thought I could ever have.

"He very well could have killed you and me both," I pointed out having never forgotten that for a second since coming completely alert and aware of the gravity of that situation, "Hell sometimes I wish he had, I'd have my peace at least in death I would be free of him."

"No," I answered softly beginning to fix my mug the way I liked to drink it -strong and sweet and looked up at him, "You are up very early today for someone who is but a guest."

The smile was very slight as he turned toward me, "There are times that memory is stronger than the body's want to rest," he glanced toward one of the nearby balconies, big enough for two and private enough to not be overheard not least in the predawn hours. "Would you indulge me with a few minutes of your time, before the city wakes and there is none but the preparations for my delegation's return to Rivendell?" he asked slowly watching my face closely, too closely.

_Sure just what I want to do spend an hour or two making nice conversation when my brain just finished giving me an eyeful of what might have happened, cause if that's a dream I need to get a casual fling going._ I thought to myself even as I answered "I do not believe I have anything pressing to do for the next hour or two that cannot wait." I answered calmly as he and I both began heading toward the balcony and he closed the doors behind me as I sat down.

"First, if I may," he said sitting down and set the mug aside, reaching for my hands before stopping himself, "I owe you a great many apologies for my actions, they are inexcusable , and perhaps unforgiveable by now and I am truly ashamed of the things I have done and said in the last weeks."

I hadn't been expecting that and I couldn't hide my surprise if I'd wanted to by then as I looked up at the elf, and could not find any deception or lie in his gaze or in the search of his eyes, and chose to speak slowly, "Then why," I blurted out the question I most wanted to know, "Why would you of all people first step into a fight that damn well wasn't yours to fight and then turn around and just - " I couldn't speak I could barely breathe for a short time as tears and emotion cut off my voice.

"The first, because it was right, and the second because ... well there is not an excuse by now that will ever justify or remedy my treatment of you these last weeks." he answered slowly and more steadily than I thought I could ever have.

"He very well could have killed you and me both," I pointed out having never forgotten that for a second, "Hell sometimes I wish he had, I'd have my peace at least in death I would be free of him."

"You are free of him," Elrond disagreed gently, the tone matter-of-fact as I looked away found my chin turned by two lightly touching fingertips to my chin, "He is dead, and I'm not sorry I did it." he said lowly, "I have not allowed myself to lose my temper in such a manner in well over a thousand years and a single man, in a singularly depraved act managed to provoke my temper in such a fashion that I seized an opportunity to rectify a terrible situation and I will not apologize to anyone, not even you for it."

I heard the regret in his voice despite the claim and set aside the coffee mug myself instead choosing to reach out to him with a hand, letting him choose rejection or not, "What did he say? What did he do? I don't remember much I usually don't when I am faced with him afterwards only how I felt or what injuries I gain from encountering him."

His hands covered mine as a grim smile covered his features before I found myself on my feet, and a hand cupped my cheek in a gesture that was both new and familiar, "I won't repeat it, not for you not for anyone who wasn't there but I shall tell you the gist of it was that what he had done already would be nothing compared to what would be your fate... A fate I could not allow."

I drew in a deep breath, quite aware of what misery my father was capable of and shuddered once and dared the question as my fingers tightened their hold on his, "I don't have to tell you what he already did and -" tears burned cutting off my vocal cords painfully as the hand cupping my cheek moved to press my lips together shaking his head.

"No, little one never you will have to tell me anything one part because as a healer I know and - " he stopped speaking and even at my prod did not continue the tangent.

"Then answer me this," I said slowly and less cautiously than perhaps I should have, "Why am I having dreams that sure as hells aren't like my normal dreams and you're in them?" I blurted the question without meaning to having purely intended to puzzle it out myself.

Caution colored his voice as by unspoken agreement both of us turned back to our respective drinks, "Do you want to talk about them, or are they too personal?"

"Well I figure it's you or Glorfindel and frankly after last nights' dream I don't think he's a viable candidate since you two seem half at odds already and I refuse to add to it." I answered taking another sip of the fog-lifting liquid with a sigh. "But that's between you two I refuse to step into that arena I have to referee enough with my sisters." I turned toward the view and began speaking half to the trees half to him not wanting to look at him for fear of what I would see. "I've had dreams off and on - mostly unremembered but the last year or so half-dreams or maybe they're not began happening and they were disjointed but last night... last night you were there when I was sleeping, I don't know if that was a dream or not or part of it but that wasn't the point either, but what I think was a dream was .. " I trailed off and finished the contents of my mug a bit uncomfortable and began a recap with less detail of what I had seen in that dream and saw his momentary stun and the sound of him clearing his throat drew my attention to him and away from the tree branch I was counting the leaves on.

"I should apologize to you then," he answered calmly though I read the unease in his gaze, "It was inappropriate of me to continue that practice once you were healed enough to lean on others,"

"I didn't say it pissed me off," I pointed out as I eyed him, "If anything it was kind of familiar and not a bad kind of familiar and I do know the difference between good-familiar and shitty-familiar."

The laugh sent a very familiar tremble up my spine as I saw that the serious lines had melted into one of genuine mirth, "Oh my I had forgotten that about your mind, it spits out the most inappropriate - but brutally honest things." he chuckled once more then settled again to watch me intently before he calmed and almost annoyingly quickly. "As for those dreams, my dear lady what does that keen instinct of yours tell you about them?"

"That if they're not memories then I need to take my sisters' advice and start a torrid, passionate affair with some poor sap and leave him when I'm done with it." I answered enjoying the shock on his face, and laughed looking up at the golden-green foliage overhead, "At the same time I'd rather want them to be real - memories I mean now obviously since all I get from you are bared fangs or frigid bite Which, I can't say I don't deserve because goodness knows I froze out enough people in my life all these years."

"Let's say they aren't what would you want from me?" he asked taking a breath and I knew it wasn't the question he wanted to ask but the one that was allowed by his controlled nature.

"A friend, gods know I haven't had enough of them and I'm damn near impossible - hellfire I know it and I wouldn't begrudge even my sisters if they wanted me to leave too."

"And if they are?" he asked and I heard his breath catch and his movements stopped, the pewter-grey eyes held mine without mirth, or pain as he reached with one hand to tug the chain I still wore almost compulsively partly I told myself daily to keep it safe, and set the pendant against my breast tilting his head to the side, "What then would you ask, of yourself and of me?" there was a calm that didn't reach the elf's eyes that stormed with restrained emotion.

"If they are... and some small completely irrational part of my mind insists they are - really real then," a knife twisted on my insides, "If they are," I began again, "Then I really don't know, I am terrible at this relationship-thing that's more my sister's gift, even if it is half the time botching it."He leaned back in the chair as I was speaking and for a moment I had a very real sense of déjà vu that struck me again and I focused on the leaves hanging over the balcony as I spoke, "Tell me about your home?"

"Why don't you?" he countered sitting up, "Since these dreams involve me - flattering I assure you if they are a mind's fantasy - one could reason out that it would be Rivendell which you would see around me."

"In the dream that stands out most its very green," I said thoughtfully reaching to brush a leaf that broke off in the wind and blew near my face away, "Not like the leaves here that have that pretty gold tint, but really rich green both in the leaves and the grass and its beautiful what I can see of it and the sense of quiet - not the waiting quiet of here but the truly serene sense I had in the dream." I trailed off thoughtfully, "And it was a place I wanted to be, very much that I was always sure of from the first dream" I wasn't looking at him but I could feel the intense gaze on me as I tried to put in the last of the dream that stood out the most, but how did one put in words what was pure emotion? I mused to myself and watched him for a long minute, "The rest, I um don't have words for?" I said despite how lame it sounded even to my own ears.

"Never were very adept at those were you little one," he murmured lapsing into his native tongue before he sat up and eyed me with a look that smoldered under the healer's calm gaze that almost anyone else would see, "Close your eyes, and consider just the most vivid dream, and ask yourself which it would be, and more young miss which you want it to be more."

"Real." I answered automatically drawing in a deep breath, "The dream-memory whatever you want to call it and all the feelings and dusting around it too." I let out a small slightly bitter laugh, "I just want to have had something that was mine."

"Is," he murmured quietly and tilted his head at me though the statement was puzzling, "Why don't you leave that riddle alone - knowing the mind as I do, yours will answer your riddle when you are the least prepared for it, and I must say it is a delight to see the kitten off her paws a little."

"Mean. For that you can get the first round of drink refills I want a second cup of coffee and your tea's got to be ice-cold and bitter." I said some part of me remembering he detested cold tea and liked bitter less.

"Very well," he murmured, rising and closed the door behind him as he exited, and cocked his head at the faintly guilty expression on his longest friends' faces. "Caught in the cookie jar," he commented mildly carrying the mugs to the serving table and began preparing both with sure, steady hands.

"Are you playing nice or do I have to smash your fingers?" Glorfindel's voice was cool, careful as he watched Elrond's demeanor with an edge of danger to his pose.

"Fin, this is hardly the place to threaten," Erestor, the more placid of the two - and the more deadly when angered spoke placing a hand on Glorfindel's shoulder, "And if he's fixing tea and - coffee I wager for the kitten I hardly think our worries are needed."

"Peeved I think she would dump it on me and swing like an animal down the tree," Elrond remarked calmly waiting for the tea leaves to set in the water, "My feelings remain what they were before," he met Glorfindel's eyes steadily, "First priority however is ensuring her well-being without adding the layer of intimacy that had been achieved."

"Ever factored in that layer of intimacy might be the salve on the gash in her spirit?" Glorfindel spoke in a low voice as to not alert the small spitfire they spoke of her.

Elrond nodded, "It might but it could run her farther away as well."

Erestor snickered, "I think the only time she might run is if you tell her that you're in love with her brother-in-law and even then, Elrond she would most likely just beat you senseless instead."

"You play nice," Glorfindel sighed giving Erestor a look that was half exasperation and half affection before he looked to the sky that was above the ceiling, "Why is it I feel like the only grownup in this room?"

Both the other elves laughed,[" That's your age talking Fin. You are technically the only real adult in the room my dear."] Erestor stated.

['Good that makes me in charge and I'm telling you both to behave yourselves and in your case," he turned toward Elrond who was busily finishing the preparations for the respective mugs, "Cut it out before you make that wound worse and I actually do have to kick you off that high horse you've put yourself on."]

["As stimulating as this conversation is, I fear I need to return to my original one this morning."] Elrond answered looking between them as he turned carrying two mugs, ["And I think that I can manage my own affairs without your interference."]


	41. Chapter 41

/Author's Note: I greatly appreciate the consistent interest in this story and I hope everyone has enjoyed the ride my imagination is taking everyone on with me. If there's something you like - review it; something you don't like? review it or PM with why -I'm curious what everyone's thinking out there and I'm always open to suggestion (and I'm aware that here and there there's a few typos hopefully I'm improving there.)

Chapter Forty-One

I heard the rising cadence of voices as Elrond opened the balcony door and was on my feet nearly bumping into him as I moved to circumvent an all-out war between whichever pair of them had broken my forced truce between them. Anger surged and replaced the early-morning fatigue and even my formerly relaxed mood as I slipped past him hearing the soft sound of surprise as I brushed against his middle doing so. I folded my arms over my chest and waited for the quarreling voices to reach close enough and when they did I realized that it was a four-way verbal war on the verge of an explosion of physical violence, which I was not going to tolerate from any of them. Their words didn't even reach my ears as angry as they were their emotions were flooding my senses as I sucked in a deep breath and emitted a shrill, ear-splitting whistle loud enough to probably really hurt Elrond's ears (I felt a tiny pang of guilt but I was not in the mood for playing referee that morning before eating my breakfast.)

"Now that I've got your attention," I lowered my voice, intentionally so as to keep control over the fact I was so not in the mood for their nonsense as another shadow darkened the doorway behind them, "Separate." I demanded placing a touch of will behind it not in the mood for any of them argue with me about it. I turned toward Destiny, my gaze warning, knowing that she tended toward cold logic rather than emotion the way Nikki did. "What in hell was that about you probably woke half the damn city." I demanded barely realizing that Elrond had reached over my shoulder to place the mug of coffee in my hand wrapping my fingers around the mug.

She goggled at me for a few seconds utterly distracted from their argument by that and wisely answered my question, "It began with Nikki and I deciding to take the kids all down to that pretty field with the yellow flowers everywhere to let them run after breakfast and apparently," her darker eyes cut toward the corner that Willow and Kris were scowling at both of us from, "They felt that was a better field for whatever bullshit they wanted to do."

I held up my hand to silence Kristina whose protest sizzled in the air around her for silence unwilling to play referee so publicly and returned my attention to Destiny, "And?"

"It escalated to what you heard, and that lovely debate dissolved name-calling crap that always goes on I mean jeez what're we in middle school all over again?" Destiny sighed raking her hands in her hair, "I would have stayed out of it like you always tell me and Autumn to had she left Jason out of the whole thing."

I drew in a deep breath and moved the hand with the full mug, feeling the hot liquid sting my hand and frowned at it then shrugged taking a sip, "All right, Kristina, what do you want to add to this?" I was already forming my retribution for the headache I was getting but I wanted to let the other set of twins have a chance to speak as well.

"Well she's got that part right, that field is so not suitable for kids - it's too pretty and peaceful to let a trio of little terrors run amok all over it." she was tense, and defensive which told me there was more to it than they were all saying and this caused me to narrow my eyes.

"Those 'little terrors' are ninety percent of why I haven't drop kicked your foul tempered nasty ass off the balcony behind me." I said warningly, "And they're a hell of a lot more sunshine than you so I'd think before I speak ill of children again."

"Just like always," Willow rolled her eyes, "You take their side."

"I wasn't speaking to you." I said as my temper sparked behind my eyes and I felt the gentle squeeze on my shoulder from Elrond trying to quite clearly keep my temper from exploding the whole situation. "And for the record where you four - sometimes five are concerned I am on my own damn side." I warned her my tone a low, easy tone that for the four of them was a warning they were all on very thin ice.

"Well it is, you listen to both sides and you invariably pick them." Willow argued even as Kris wisely tried to silence her.

"When you argue after being told not to hell I'd pick the other damn side just for pure spite now shut up." Kris said scowling at her twin.

I smirked behind my mug taking another sip of my prized coffee and glared at the four of them a moment considering my retribution when I realized that Celeborn and Glorfindel who were both standing just inside the door torn between moving around the fracas my sisters and I were causing or not, swallowing it as I knew I was about to really rain on a few parades. ["Milord Celeborn, I know that the city of Imladris has a salle, or weapons practice center does your fair city have similarly?"] I switched to the elven tongue, really wanting to drag out the torture of waiting to see what I was going to do a little in return for the major headache that I had brewing before even eating breakfast.

Surprised flared on his face and I saw suspicious curiosity on his face while Glorfindel aimed for a neutral to curious expression only just. ["The city of Lothlorien boasts one of the finest weapons training field, and by this hour I would imagine it would be empty why would you ask?"]

["Most excellent,"] I answered conversationally a small surge of pleasure coursing through me, I was going to have a pleasant morning of driving my sisters a fraction of as crazy as they were driving me and run them into the ground as a bonus prize, ["Would it be a bother if I borrowed it for a few hours today it seems I have a few heathen children in need of a few reminders in teamwork among other things."]

Surprise, and a trace of amusement accompanied the nod, ["It is yours so long as the Captain of the guard has no need of it, which I do not expect this to be the case this day."]

I inclined my head slightly and gave my sisters each a warning glance, "I suggest little sisters you eat your Wheaties and arrange for sitters since all your plans are canceled as you so thoughtfully cancelled mine." I said mildly.

"What are you up to," I heard the quiet murmur from behind me and I heard the curious amusement in the tone making me smile.

"You're welcome to come enjoy the show probably almost as much as I am going to enjoy my morning after all." I answered in a soft voice before joining them all in gathering breakfast realizing that I was actually hungry.

Nikki dropped her head, "Excuse me please." She bolted before anyone said a thing making Destiny glare at the twins especially Willow.

I shook my head slightly at the quizzical expression aimed my way from several of the elves, knowing I would get the answer out of Nikki later if I didn't pull it out of one of the remaining three first and I narrowed my eyes catching Destiny's glare at Willow, "What did you say to her." It wasn't a question, it was a demand and I added just enough force behind each word that she wasn't going to be able to lie to me particularly in front of such a large audience.

"I didn't do nothing to her. She's just being a spoilt brat as usual." Willow hissed rolling her eyes at Destiny, "What it's the truth of both of you she's always acted like a child. That's why Tommy left in the first place. I mean who'd want to be around a bully-baby."

I blew out a breath and counted to ten because I was gripped with the compulsion for pure violence toward Willow and my glare could have set fire to the marble around us, "You have absolutely no room to talk about bullies, Willow." I forced my tone to a low, even tone which to Destiny particularly revealed exactly how close to losing my patience I truly was. "Furthermore, haven't we been down this road oh a dozen times in the last eight or nine years that Nikki's love life and relationship status are not your business but hers? Or is that the green-eyed monster in you coming out all over again?"

"Oh please I would touch Tommy for all the tea in China. I'm more worried about how Nikki doing and being the way she is affecting this family. She's made an ass of herself and it affects this family. You and Destiny hide the fact that she got pregnant out of wedlock and couldn't even tell the person she was. Then she claims the child is Tommy's are we even sure. I mean the child doesn't look like him." Willow stated with an air of arrogance to her voice. "Look as much as I'd like to stand around and air out family business I've got more important things to see to since you seem intent on dragging us out this field." Willow turned and left.

I counted to ten once and was counting to ten a second time when I heard Kris, speak out loud exactly what I had been thinking "What the hell was that about, I mean jeez..."

Her words snapped me out of trying to maintain my temper and I decided then and there exactly what I was going to do about the fighting that had to stop before I lost all control and killed two or more of them, and turned to Celeborn, "Please have a messenger each inform both of my other sisters that all four of them have one hour to get their nasty badly mannered selves to the practice field and" I paused briefly, "If I have to hunt them down no one is going to like the consequences and there will be many." I said darkly hearing the glasses on the table begin vibrating in response to my temper sparking and turned to leave but not before there was the distinctive tinkle of broken glass on wood.

I had needed the better part of that hour to find, and have delivered various colored belts and stripped down in my room to something more suitable for the monumental ass-kicking I had in mind for my sisters when I heard the knock at my door. "Open," I called out folding the heavy black canvas with nine white stripes on it around my waist to bind it appropriately.

"Raina?" I heard Autumn's wavering voice and turned to see her wide eyes brimming with tears. "What's going on?"

"They started it today little one and I'm ending it." I answered her sparing a smile, "You're welcome to watch with the elves I am sure are going to be watching along with the others." I said firmly, "Only the four of them are in deep shit."

"Oh boy," Autumn said with a stronger shiver nearly afraid of what I was about to do, "This goes along with the 'what you didn't say' part doesn't it, Raina?"

"Yes." I answered simply as I bound my hair in a high ponytail on the top of my head sweeping the ends up underneath so that my neck was bare. "It's going to suck to be them in a few minutes."

Nikki went back to her room to get ready. She already knew what was in store for them and she felt the sadness creep in quickly. "I'm not going to say sorry to no one for having my daughter." she muttered aloud as she got ready.

"Nikki honey are you okay?" She heard a familiar voice ask from the doorway.

"Yeah just fine except now all four of us girls are in trouble, Tommy." Nikki responded. She turned not locking eyes with her husband. "Listen I don't want the kids or you around please. It's bad enough I'm having to do this with the elves knowing. Why don't you guys go take the kids to pick flowers or something."

"Nikki, remember those vows said for better or worse; I promised you that and I take my promises seriously. Besides Raina knows what she's doing - so does everyone else that everyone sees the pain that's ripping you four apart." Tommy responded putting his hands on Nikki's shoulders trying to comfort her what little she would allow him to.

Nikki stepped back, "Be it as it may this isn't something I want my children seeing in me. I should have walked away. Now I've disappointed Raina, Destiny, Autumn and you with my temper. I want to face this without my children seeing my shame." Nikki said stepping around Tommy. She stopped by the opened door. "Please Tommy do this for me. Just this one time. Maybe I'll learn to hold my temper or maybe I'll just get my frustrations out but either way I've made this mess by myself."

Nikki caught up with the others and put herself in line as they began lining up. She kept her head ducked noticing the stares from the elves. "Destiny I think we bit off way more than we can chew." she muttered to her twin as Raina approached.

Raina strode past them in a brisk but otherwise unremarkable stride that had the trio of elder elves not known personally how furious she was the pace would have gone unnoticed. She had changed out of her robes into something that was of interest to them - dark black slacks cut loose at the leg but close to the waist and hip and the tunic was a wrap-around style the color of pale ice and over that sat a stark black belt with nine stripes going up one side. Elrond blew out a breath and shook off the underlying rage that poured off of Raina with an effort.

"This is going to be an interesting morning," he remarked as the three of them were joined by Tommy, Jason and Autumn.

"I hope you don't mind but I asked several of the servants to occupy the children I didn't think any of them really needed to witness their aunt's payment for this morning's mayhem." Tommy said with an easy smile that didn't betray just how pissed off he was either.

"It's perfectly all right, it is too rare that children grace the halls of this city and they will be happy for a time too."

I was moderately impressed to see that they had half formed a useful lineup position without even realizing it and I would utilize that I decided stepping onto the field and I saw with the curt nod that the guards stationed at each corner per their Captain's orders clearly that the field was mine. My foot crossed the threshold and I was impressed to notice that three of four wised up to what I was about to do and snapped to attention before bowing with respect resuming their original position. Only, I noted with some vague annoyance Willow defied that habit and I knew I would deal with her in short, brisk order. "Welcome," I called out in a voice that carried authority, leashed anger and control both over myself and over their reactions, "To the longest day of your short lives in far too many moons. I have let you four run your own lives, your own way and let lapse a few things that I should never have in order to allow you to have your lives to run your way not mine. Apparently that was poor judgment on my part and today marks the beginning of the rectifying of that situation." I walked as I spoke and did a brisk inspection of each one in turn, making note of the corrections needed with cold precision. "I trusted each of you four to respect what you were taught before you could walk, to follow the code of the Ranger and -this morning-," I spread my hands toward the breakfast hall allowing my temper to seep into my words, "is how you repay my trust, my respect and even my affection for each of you not only as my family but as students?" I saw the guilt and shame in Nikki's eyes and the discomfort in two others and the defiance in Willow's angry eyes and smiled darkly. "Today, and as many days after as I see fit until the journey to Rivendell in a day or so and continuing whence there you four are mine. Your time is mine to do with what I see fit," I glanced at Destiny and Nikki with a frown, "Time will be allotted for the needs of children, naturally and anyone who has a problem with that can take it up with me after we break for lunch." I was sliding into a familiar place, of a leader, teacher and authority figure. "Since you all have forgotten the basics, we'll begin there and until I'm satisfied we'll stay there. You have two minutes to fix your uniforms to standard." I snapped out giving indirect permission to break the formation and counted to a hundred and twenty silently.

I watched as the four of them resumed their initial positions and narrowed my eyes in strict inspection, I wasn't in the mood for the slightest bit of sloppy even if these weren't "proper" uniforms I was not in the mood for hair splitting. "Good." I said curtly to Destiny who was finished first and in an instant yanked the belt off and threw it on the grass without an outward display of emotion.

To her credit she didn't shout out but the surprise flared and at my look wisely Destiny kept quiet as I systematically did the same to the remaining three of them and bent to gather them and snapped them out each one a stripe of purple in my hand. "What is this?" I demanded not directing to any one of them in particular.

"A belt, which represents the achievement in the martial arts, ma'am." Destiny added hastily nearly forgetting the last bit and with my temper I realized she wasn't about to tempt the wrath of hell.

"And it is a symbol of respect earned, given and warranted. None of you deserve these, you don't even rank at the beginner's white!" I shouted out in a sharp bark of words, "You have no respect, not for yourselves, not for your elders, nor your family." I let my temper spark a little before them before reining it in. "Earn these back you will have to from me to my standard which is harder than any standard you've ever tried to match out before. Not even Dulcea's training on Phaedos is going to match what you will have to do to earn it back." I decided and enjoyed the tremble of fear as I threw the belts aside aiming for a corner noticing that the guard nearest cleared my field.

I was about to put them through the cruelest basic boot camp I had ever devised on the fly and I became ruthless and vicious about it, glancing only once up in the sunlight toward the elves gathered around and saw the mixed look of awe, shock and tentative respect. The only one I made note of to speak with and comfort was Autumn and that I would do privately, noticing in the sunlight that a shadow of pale blue and grey lingered behind her still.

I ran them through the basic stretches and commands for a solid thirty minutes doing them right along with them, though the difference was that I didn't break a sweat even in the heat bright sunlight where the four of them were hot, bothered and irritable which was just about where I wanted them.

"I don't see why we're even doing this." Willow complained quietly to herself and I spun on my heel and immediately separated her from the other three who had as subtly as possible made it clear they weren't getting involved.

"Step out." I commanded letting my temper flare out and when she did I glared at her, "Ten laps at a jog around the field." I snapped out briskly expecting her to begin immediately and when she did not, I anticipated the reaction I received having bided my time until I could provoke it.

She lunged at me and I sidestepped it the way a matador dodged a rushing, raging bull and I steered her away from the others and coiled waiting for the opportunity that would let me finish her temper tantrum and re-establish control over my own field that she had so unceremoniously tried to wrest away. I saw the opportunity and flipped her onto her back one hand pulling a strike at the last second aimed directly at her heart and the fear in her eyes said it all. She was a bully, through the core and until she met a bigger one - me she was going to continue to terrorize the others and I was through with it.

"We can do this one of two ways, the right way or your way," I said in a low voice, "I don't particularly give a damn which but I'm done with your little tirades and the way you treat everyone." I snapped at her ripping her to her feet and shoved her roughly toward the edge of the field, "My ten laps." I demanded, "Then you can join us again."

It was going to take some time before I ripped them apart and used the only method I knew to be effective with any of them as a group - rough constant training to pull them back as a team which was my goal. Two and a half hours later the sun was high overhead and I was hot, growing tired and hungry when I reined them in, "Line up." I called out standing before them "Walk until you are cool and then we break for lunch, resuming in roughly two hours." I said easily, "Time to be determined by me if more is needed or less is needed." I said and stood in my place as though rooted there waiting out the time that they would require to cool down enough to take a shower and hopefully eat..

I held myself together until after they were long since gone and sat down in the soft grass before laying back wondering for a few moments just how in hell I was going to manage another three hours that day without losing my mind or control over my emotions. And that did not factor in the exhaustion I felt physically - I might be able to deceive them myself, not so much. I closed my eyes against the bright glare of the sun that was blinding me , using one arm to block it out further as I allowed myself to feel the hot rock of emotion in my guts for a moment unaware of anyone else nearby.

Nor did I notice the brush of fabric against my bare shoulder until the hand brushed my arm gently, startling me enough I sat up shaky and dizzy as I felt, "Raina," I heard the concern in his voice as his other hand held out a flask of liquid to me. "slowly," he admonished quietly as I took a long sip of it feeling the cooler liquid steady me, "Come, let's get you something to eat as well," he suggested helping me to my feet.

Lunch was a quiet affair and I noticed that I was seated between Elrond and Glorfindel who were directing traffic away from me as I plowed my way through a large, fortifying lunch noting with no surprise that my sisters were each doing similarly. They might be tired today but tomorrow was going to be worse, I thought grimly to myself they've used muscles they haven't kept toned in years and the price will not be nice that they will pay.

I knew already that there would be a price to pay for me, that I was going to be emotionally toast before dinner and I considered how best to ensure that I didn't have to sit in the main room for dinner that evening I was going to be in no mood for it and I knew that my sisters were already embarrassed and upset with me as it was.

I found my opening as I walked with Glorfindel and Elrond back to the field where I had planned out my afternoon, "Are you sure you don't want an extra hand or two for the next days?" Glorfindel inquired calmly, "I am sure that I or even Haldir can assist you in your doings,"

"Maybe not right away right now seems I have to put the fear of the gods back into them," I answered in a murmur working already to ignore the brewing headache, "but I will not be joining the main fanfare at dinner this evening I'm not going to be in the mood or ability to do so."

"I will see to it," Elrond said in a low undertone as he realized what I was wearing under my shirt, both pendants actually as had become my habit long since before the trip for Autumn.. "Do you desire company for your evening meal or just you alone?" he inquired easily though I sensed a tremble of nerves related to the question.

"that's going to depend on the next three hours," I answered as we drew near to the field where I was impressed to see that the four of them were standing talking, probably I thought with a grim smile about how mean I was but if I had to be the bad guy to get them on one team again I was willing to endure it.

The next three hours were some of the most exhausting I had directed in a long time, I felt their fatigue acutely and I still drove them on ruthlessly and taunted, threatened and blackmailed wherever there was a need to in order to push them on to the end whether it was a day .. a week or a year I was determined to see them through this to the end.

I would very much have liked to have seen more of Lothlorien than I was able to, I sighed in the evening of the fourth day of seven before the delegation of Rivendell would be returning to the fair hidden city. I had been unable to because I was busy during the daylight hours driving my sisters insane, or at least as insane as they were making me. I sighed and flopped back on my chair in the room I had been given to use with an irritated look out the window.

It was a beautiful summer evening, and I had a sense of loss and longing that ate at me for the next hour before I forced my feet to move and pushed forward and bet one of a small handful of people could tell me why, feeling the pendants I wore tangle and both smack against my chest as I propelled myself forward with the promise of finding a mug of coffee somewhere, or getting one brought to me.

I must've been paler than I thought as I received several strange looks from passing elves on my way through the winding corridors of the ancient city using a wall or banister on my way to finding where I might want to be when I was intercepted by Erestor who was incidentally passing by my path and he stopped short at my coloring.

"Raina," I heard the surprise in his voice and concern instantly colored his tone, "Are you well?"

"I feel fine if that's what you mean," I answered cautiously, "Why do you ask?"

"You're very pale," He answered as he placed a hand on my shoulder steadying me, "When was the last time you ate anything?"

"Um, dinner I think?" I answered feeling shaky now that I had stopped moving, "maybe once after, what time is it now?"

"Almost a quarter till nine, which is why it is still just barely light outside here," he answered as the corridor moved and I leaned on a wall to steady myself.

"Why - why do I have the sense of déjà vu here?"

"I have no idea," he answered vaguely and at his look one of the servants approached with a tentative smile, "Please interrupt Lord Elrond's chess game and summon him to the Midnight Veranda at my request and tell him it's urgent."

"Right away, milord." the servant's pace picked up as I swayed again and heard the soft muttered oath from Erestor who apparently saved time by picking me up even ignoring my dizzy protest. "Sit." he demanded as he plunked me rather unceremoniously onto one of the chairs on the veranda and prowled like an agitated cat for the next ten minutes.

"Erestor, "I heard the concerned lilt to Elrond's voice before he strode onto the veranda and heard the sharp intake of breath as I looked up at him, "Not again," I heard the murmur as he sat down and rested his hand against my forehead softly, "No fever-fire that is good, what happened?" he asked as Glorfindel held a small glass out to him with a red liquid inside, quite obviously either grape juice or some kind of wine.

"I wasn't feeling well after dinner, and I went up to my room and thought if I just stayed quiet for awhile it would go away, and it didn't. I get vicious headaches every great so often - usually stress related and I thought I beat it when I was on my way for another cup of coffee thinking that would take the rest of the edge off..." I trailed off as his fingers brushed a wayward lock of hair off my face, "And I bumped into Erestor who dropped my happy ass off in here and called you."

"What she's not telling you is that her coloring was bad - she's fair as the new bud of the elanor tree normally but when I can see the veins under her eyes clear as the sun and I get a vague answer when that child can tell you the last thing she ate and the quality of it I am going to find someone with greater knowledge than I have of healing." Erestor put in as Glorfindel wrapped his arms around his shoulders comfortably.

"Drink a portion of this," I heard the suggestion and just didn't have it in me to argue with him, as he pressed the glass into my hands so that I would have to.

My hand shook slightly as I lifted the glass to my lips and tasted the strong, sweet wine that was inside the glass and shivered once despite the fact it was a solid seventy-five plus degrees on that veranda. "Worst of it was, I wanted to talk to you anyway, I had a question and now I don't even remember what it was." I eyed Elrond as I spoke and was rewarded by the surprised expression.

"In that case, Elrond we can reschedule the chess match," Glorfindel suggested giving Erestor a meaningful look, "And send up a tray of something for a light meal if you wish."

"Food is a good idea," Elrond agreed glancing at Glorfindel, tilting his head and I was sure they exchanged words but I didn't understand them as the veranda doors were closed before he turned back to me, "It'll be about twenty to thirty minutes until one of them brings the tray up to us."

I nodded once and let my head rest on the back of the chair trying vainly to remember what it was I had wanted to ask of Elrond. It was remarkably peaceful on that veranda, of course other than the chaos my sisters brought invariably I imagined that the world there would be a peaceful, serene one and the sound of the waking night-animals was its own comfort for me as neither of us spoke again, though I was vaguely aware of the tension-pull that was causing my attention to waver.

It wasn't until I went to move my hand and felt the palm of his graze the top of it that I realized that his hand had been there the bulk of the time, without the jolt of pain that normally accompanied the simplest of touch. I couldn't mask the shock on my face if I had wanted to and that was partly because it was so genuine that the sense of wonder crashed around my senses like water on rock overriding any attempt to hide that as well. I watched with eyes wide with that very sense as his fingers turned my hand around and left it wrapped around his curled one before it was pressed to his lips in a soft kiss.

Only as his hand reached to cup my cheek that I realized I was shaking and violently so, images were running ramrod fast through my senses and I couldn't breathe, couldn't dare speak for fear of the sound I would make in response to the doings - a moan, a scream or begin weeping as the images swirled and dragged me along a roller coaster that wouldn't turn loose.

I heard the soft clink of a tray being placed onto the table nearby and looked up surprised to see that instead of a servant who was delivering the tray, it was Elladan who was carrying it. "I see its beginning to settle for her," he said to his father as I curled up against the elder elf with a softer sigh.

"A little at a time Elladan, and hopefully resolved before we head toward home." Elrond answered calmly, "For tonight, would you look in on each of her sisters, and ensure that they are well?"

"Sure I can," he answered easily and comfortably, "Though I can say this already," He squatted so that I could see his expression, "Something needs to be done to make them a team again or they're going to be forever splintered into a badly matched set."

"I plan on it, I first have to break down a few egos that apparently went wild," I said tiredly looking at the twin with a faint smile, "I'm most worried about Nikki as of all of them she's the most fragile of the lot of them, even if more of a wall gets built up there."

"What are you going to do?" he asked curiously.

"I haven't figured it out, for now I want to roll over sleep on it and work it out in the morning." I answered bluntly.

"Eat a bit first, you'll sleep better and I'm sure superior ideas will come to you with a bit of rest." Elrond said with an insistent tone.

Elladan's long stride was brisk along the corridors of the winding city several doors were being rapped on in a longstanding wordless code that meant a meeting was being held, and this time the elder twin had invoked the right to summon in an elder as he had an idea, though he wanted to have backup in case that Raina's temper sparked, or worse happened again as he had been frightened by the woman's pallor and that after a few days of managing to corral her siblings, he did not want to know what would be the state of affairs in another three.

"So, what is it you wished to speak of, since you were the one who summoned everyone, Elladan?" Glorfindel sounded nearly as curious as he felt, surrounded on all sides by the series of younger elves that had been summoned as well by the brisk rapping knock of the twins.

"I had hoped this silent, simmering feud would wait until we were safely out of Lorien, but it does not appear that such will become the case, "Elladan answered him thoughtfully, "Nor am I anxious to watch the wear down of Raina's nerves in the next three days since I'm told she was planning to return to Rivendell with those of us who are going." he frowned thoughtfully.

"I'm not particularly keen on being privy to the meltdown that is in progress, that woman's nerves are a powder keg waiting for the spark to set it off." Haldir nodded slightly, "What do you have in mind, it sounds as if you have already a plan in formation in your thoughts."

"Well, had a spark of inspiration with that small explosion Raina had the other day - small I say because I am sure she was pulling back somewhat - her ability to speak in the common tongue was telling of that - but if we divide the four most quarrelsome we might be able to get to the root of the trouble before it is too late and they never patch their differences for good."

"It's a proven method, "Glorfindel nodded, "As revealed by you all actually, from different stages of your lives. Why did you ask for me to come listen in?"

"Because, like Father you have her ear and respect, and we don't want to be seen as interfering in her doings, only ...making it easier for Raina to recover." Elrohir explained calmly at Elladan's glance, "Last thing I want is that temper aimed at me."

"That certainly does not seem as though it would be a particularly pleasant experience," Haldir commented mildly, "But what do you have in mind actually for this division and conquer method?"

Elladan shifted his weight and frowned slightly, "Each of them - from Raina all the way down to the smallest one, Autumn has a weakness of some sort, and in some cases a chip the side of Mordor on their shoulder."

"You mean to try to separate and deal with individual issues rather than try to manage them all at once?" Glorfindel questioned skeptically.

"It's worth a look, isn't it? If we don't do something Raina's going to lose what's left of her patience and I don't think there's much more than a few abused pieces of that." Elrohir argued reasonably.

"Okay, if you're set on this I am fairly sure I can convince Elrond at least to back up this insane idea you children have come up with, which will I think convince Raina to agree as well."

Within the span of the next hour and a half it was decided whom would try tackling which of the siblings, leaving Raina to Elrond simply because that seemed the wisest course to take, but that left five others that needed to be taken to task, in some instances and in others merely reassured. In the end, they agreed among themselves to different tasks that suited individual patience and skill sets, for instance Elladan had been volunteered to help Nikki while Elrohir drew the shorter straw with Willow partly because in the end it would take several stronger personalities to resolve the difficulties between the siblings.

I was still drinking my first cup of coffee when the three of them stumbled onto the field and I immediately put them through another round of stretches as I drank my coffee ruthless and coldly efficient placing my feelings and heartache aside for as much as it was killing me to have to do it someone had to straighten out the kinks in this relationship before their Power was destroyed from within.

I wasn't surprised anymore to find that Nikki and Destiny were pushing themselves to the wall and past it for me and I rewarded that with verbal praise and more frequent short breaks, the grateful glint in Nikki's eyes was enough to tell me it was more than appreciated. I was also whip-quick to smack any of them for slipping out of line. It was a matter of time before one of them snapped at me again, and that was fine I decided passing my empty mug to one of the stationed guards at the corners.

"You are a cruel, mean little thing." I heard the guard nearest me comment after my sisters had trudged tiredly up the path toward the showers before lunch as I gave a wicked, almost gleeful grin.

"Just think, I'm not really even angry anymore. Excuse me." I said moving to fall into step with Haldir and Glorfindel.

"Ah good afternoon, Miss Raina I see you are still busy occupying around ninety percent of their days." Glorfindel said cheerfully looking to me with a light smile.

"Roundabout, though its closer to eighty for Destiny and Nikki cause I won't take them away from their children that's not fair either. I'm hoping to end it today or maybe tomorrow but I am beginning to think need a bit of help. I want them to actually learn how to cooperate and I am still, contrary to their belief only one person."

"What do you have in mind?" Haldir asked, seeming almost unsurprised, and actually a bit relieved as they both stopped walking to study me.

"One, the issue isn't so single-faceted as to be easily solved and its multi-layered and the feuds are years-long which is not good either. What I need is several things, including but not limited an individual mentor for at least two of them, and a circumstance in which they truly have no option but to rely on each other with no referee and not a chance to get to the other end of the goal without someone getting killed, and their abilities intact."

"Now that is a tall order," Glorfindel answered me as the three of us began walking toward the breakfast hall and I had a sense of déjà vu all over again watching Elrond converse with his sons in an easy manner. "Particularly if you don't desire them to learn of your agenda until it is too late for them to react to counter it. But I think you might be surprised that aid once asked for is often received in unexpected ways."

"Bingo." I answered musingly, "And preferably before their feuding gets an innocent bystander killed."

"And what can I do to be of assistance?" Haldir asked, innocently - too innocently to my ears as the three of us turned the corner into the lunch hall where to my surprise the four of them had taken over a table together and were talking for once while Autumn sat with one of the elves dressed in the more casual garb that I had noticed was favored by the Rivendell escort.

"Sparring partners first of all," I decided suddenly, "That's my agenda this afternoon and they all know how to exploit each other's weaknesses, time for them to learn their own and begin to conquer them."

"And yourself young miss?" Glorfindel asked curiously.

"I aim to do the same." I answered resolutely.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter Forty-Two

The following morning, I was faintly surprised to see Haldir standing armed with a steaming mug that smelled like something this side of heaven that he held out as a peace offering, keeping the one in his other hand for himself smiling slightly, "You requested assistance, and we have answered the call," he said lifting his mug with a slight salute, "and the coffee is because Elladan insists that you are impolite before the second mug."

I took the mug and grinned somehow sensing what he hadn't said outright, "That's Elladan-speak for 'I'm about to annoy you and I want to live' so spill it."

"We are going to assist you, little miss sort the vagrant and offensive attitudes of your sisters, and we aim to do it in such a way as you are holding the reins but having instead of two hands to herd the little felines but many hands."

Now that sounded actually like a really promising idea, to have my hands multiply and manage to wrestle my sisters into a semblance of order in their chaos and looked up at the elf with a faint smile, "Hum and I get what precisely out of this?"

"The chance to sit down and perhaps finish a conversation before you join the company heading for Rivendell in a few days time?" he countered mildly, "Think fast, demon-kitten they will be arriving soon."

I debated it, and considered the fact that the spokesman had opted to bring me bribery -coffee in the morning was always a positive way to get me to agree to something I ordinarily would not and nodded, "It's their individual funeral if they decide to act out, particularly since I cannot be everywhere at once."

"And I have another surprise, this is a centurion year, for the Galadhrim, those of us who normally patrol the outer borders are all inside the city together, and we often have a celebration, and we would extend our invitation to our guests, if they can hold to your satisfaction." Haldir said conversationally as I saw a prime opportunity to have a pretty piece of blackmail to at least leave the elves of Lorien with a positive memory of my crazy family.

"Now that, I think would be best told from you, all of it." I grinned feline-like up at him as the four miscreants in question appeared at the field just as I spoke to him.

"If today's practice goes well," Haldir raised his voice to be heard over the conversations going on, "The Galadhrim cordially extends its invitation to these four and their families to join our fair cities last celebration before parting ways for another season with our cousins from Rivendell. If not, I am afraid passage will be barred to all."

"What will it entail?" I heard Nikki ask before she could stop herself.

"A fair bit of food, dancing, laughter, and simply a party," the answer was cool, and direct as he met her eyes, "And something that happens only once a century, that the Galadhrim actually do as normally all the guards you see around you today are on the outermost borders, guarding the land and keeping out the orcs, and all others who would do harm."

"Basically, what he's saying is, if you don't piss Raina off today, you're all invited to join us." Elladan said from his post amid the circle of five elves gathered at the one corner.

"So, all mighty fearless wonder what are we going to do today?" Destiny asked smiling slightly.

"Sparring." I answered easily and glanced at my elven counterpart, "I'd appreciate it if you'd explain what will be the case until the end of our stay in your lovely home."

"It was impossible to miss that shouting match, and while commendable what Miss Raina opted to try with you, it was the consensus of the wisest among two cities that her well-being also must factor into all matters, in particular this one. As such I have several volunteers whom will be your constant companion for the remainder of your stay. Each will be one part mentor, friend and make no mistake they will land on you for acting out of the boundaries that are considered respectable by any elf." Haldir paused speaking to eye Willow with a cool gaze that spoke of open disapproval, "And it will be at the recommendation of each individual mentor whether or not any of you can attend As well, two of you will have two mentors because your initial volunteer is from Lothlorien and we have not the numbers to spare long enough to fix the broken within these relationships in so short a time and thus we have opted to take this step."

"You mean no more psycho-bitch over there running my life? I'm in." I heard Willow mutter to an anxious Kris who was already beginning to sense a trap of gilded bars.

"What's the catch?" she directed her question at Haldir whose smile was warning and faintly amused he directed their attention to me again, "That's just too good to be totally true."

"Bright girl," he commented mildly the tone deceptively cool, "And there is, you may not annoy nor agitate your sisters for the duration of this situation, and I assure you doing so will result in rather unpleasant consequences, and those you are assigned to, have full authority to do as they see fit."

My head was spinning -one part because they were dragging me on their rollercoaster and partly because it was bloody hot already and while I was no stranger to heat, this was crazy and this only worsened as I felt their attention flipping toward me again when Haldir's voice raised to capture it again as I bent to put the coffee mug onto the grass by my feet.

"However important as your sister is to your continued existence I assure you the next two days will prove to be most interesting. Your constant companions will be as follows..." I stopped listening to Haldir partly because I saw a hand reach around my shoulder to dangle a glass half-full of the same reddish liquid I had been given on at least two occasions prior to and at the soft admonishment to drink it and nearly choked on it as my sisters' reactions to their individual mentors bounced around the space like rabid, hyper sparrows.

"You're insane, you know that?" Willow's face swam into mine as I lowered the glass allowing my temper to spark just enough to put color back into my cheeks.

"Probably certifiable yet that's a family trait little sister if you think I'm going to put up with your bullshit anymore." I answered smiling sweetly as I saw Elrohir standing behind her, "Besides currently you're not my problem."

I knew that the younger twin might've had an easy going nature, yet there was a hard, cool edge to him that meant that Willow's brash attitude was going to come up repeatedly against a blade sharp enough to cut through it as his hand gripped her shoulder, "Walk with me, before you dig your own grave any deeper." there wasn't suggestion in the tone and for once, thankfully Willow didn't push against the veiled warning.

One by one my sisters left the field and I noticed that even Autumn hadn't been forgotten, as one of the elven guard approached her as well, leading her into a different direction, and only when the area was mostly deserted did I allow myself a moment to rest, relax and the spiraling despair to come up to meet me. I was instantly aware of the presences behind me, and turned shoving the pile of emotion back into its domain faced them...

"Walk with me," there was no suggestion to Elrohir's voice as he gave a starting shove to the taller brown-haired sibling to motivate her to walking betting she would take to a sprint, but more he knew that he would be able to outdistance the woman in a matter of a few easy strides having longer limbs and the easy grace of his parents.

_The things I put up with for the sake of my father's sanity._ Elrohir thought to himself shaking his head as he steered the young woman impatiently outside of the main grounds of the city. It wasn't so much her dignity that he was concerned for - the woman had proven that she had woefully little dignity or respect for herself or others. He kept pace with the irate young woman far too easily for her taste he realized this, and enjoyed it as she rounded on him about a mile outside of the main grounds.

"Much as I appreciate you saving me from that pint-sized red-headed psycho-bitch I really could not care less about you, or anything you have to s-" she cut off as Elrohir stepped close to her and invaded her personal space causing her to shove at him only to find herself alarmed by the grip of his hand around her wrist to spin her back to smack against a tall tree.

"Let's get something straight right now," Elrohir let his temper flare just enough to cause a trickle of fear to run up Willow's spine as he stepped forward to deliberately placed his leg between hers so Willow couldn't knee him in the groin, "Despite the fact I don't like you, I don't have to actually like you to help you and I'm the only ally you've got - I argued against tossing your foul, nasty little ass out of the elven lands and banning you entry no matter what the need - so like it or not little girl, I'm the only one willing to help you so suck it up, make the best of it or deal with a life in a strange place - alone." he snarled as her hand rose aiming for his face, causing him to catch the hand and smack it too into the tree-trunk roughly beginning to lose his patience.

"Take your damn hands off me." Willow demanded and on a spark of temper, Elrohir decided to indulge her but not quite the way she expected him to by tossing her so that her legs tangled with his and sent the young woman sprawling into the leafy grass face-first giving him a chance to appreciate the form she could have had if not for the laziness that seemed to have infected her.

"As you like," he answered grabbing the woman's arm to spin her again lifting her feet off of the ground with a soft, tone covering his voice, one that warned normally those close to him that he was perilously close to losing his temper, "Let's get something straight, and crystal-clear here, Willow. You're stuck with me, because no one else will stand up for you and I'm beginning to regret that I did." he shook her shoulder once strongly before continuing, "The fact is we can do this one of two ways - my way which is faster and I assure you far less painful than the path you're taking us down or I can go right along with yours, cause darling girl I've been around the way a few times and your way sucks."

Willow froze for a moment, glancing back at him after a few seconds "why did you vote to help me if you're regretting it."

Elrohir drew himself up and looked at her quietly considering how to answer that, "Because I don't think deep down you're half as mean spirited and cruel as you were the other morning and some small part of you wants to stop it. So, once you stop hitting at me both of us might learn something."

"Once I stop hitting at you? Seems to me you're the one putting your hands on me." she spat back at him with an angry snorted glare. "Not like you're not going to just walk away anyway." she muttered turning away from him to head in the direction she thought was the city grounds.

"Now, hold the branches there," Elrohir caught her shoulder and spun her not at all enjoying the mild panic and surprise, "I gave my word I'd do what I could to help you stop behaving like a spoilt child and I will until I see no possible recourse. Now as I said we can do this the easy way or the hard way which do you prefer cause I've got all the time in the world."

"Had to be you." Nikki muttered to herself, shaking her head even though she knew Elladan would hear her quiet words.

"Hey someone's got to do the shit work, just be happy you're not walking in Elrohir's boots." Elladan answered just as flippantly.

"Why do you say that?"

"Cause he has the challenge of ripping your sister Willow's, I believe it is, head out of her ass."

Nikki shook her head, "Yeah, its Willow so let's get this over with elf-boy." she gave him a sideways glance just able to catch the amused expression.

"Awful bossy aren't you?"

"I have a good reason to be, I know how you think and I also know you don't know the meaning of fair." Nikki answered lobbing a nearby fallen nut from the ground at him.

"The lot of you ripped that idea right out the window, I've never seen Grandfather that mad since Elrohir and I tied our sister upside-down naked in the winter in his garden -what she was about ten!" Elladan answered steering her toward one of the outlying areas that held in it a glade, and a small hut in case of sudden rain.

Despite herself, Nikki giggled for a moment, "I'm not so sure I want to know the rest of that story and as for Willow, maybe," she hesitated and looked any direction he wasn't for a moment, "Well maybe that'll work out too eventually."

"Takes two to work that out." Elladan pointed out as they arrived at the glade, revealing to Nikki what was obviously one of the hidden pockets of sanity in the elven realm for the twins. It was not a large area, but it had enough room for a multitude of activities, and the hut appeared to be big enough for two or more people comfortably without interfering with the other, "And it seems to me nobody's working anything out."

"Can't work anything out with nobody when all they do is throw every god blessed mistake you make in your face like their shit don't stink!" Nikki shot at him abruptly angry about the whole situation. "Not really my idea of a useful conversation."

"Well, I imagine that complicates it," Elladan conceded, carefully measuring her temper given that this was about the most he'd actually heard Nikki actively say about the situation.

Nikki closed her eyes and focused on recapturing her calmer mood, "You could say that, it seems to me that my life is the family gossip and I'm damn well sick of it. I'm not proud of every decision I ever made but I'll never say I didn't make the best one I could at the time." Nikki lashed out at him simply because, the elf the misfortune of being the only one in range for it.

There was a glimmer of sympathy that hardened into resolve, "And running away from it, instead of being constructive and telling them how you feel, and how their actions and words make you feel is being exactly as passive-aggressive as their consistent back-talking and sabotaging an otherwise potentially functional family is." he answered pressing exactly the nerve Nikki didn't want him or anyone else pushing, she'd become an expert at backing even Tommy off the topic, but against Elladan there was no recourse but confront it.

Nikki's temper finally sizzled and he could almost see the sparks in otherwise clear blue eyes, "Look, it wasn't my idea to get pregnant in first damn place, I don't regret for minute having Mandy without Tommy - he was gone and I didn't know at that minute what to do. I was a scared, angry, hurt kid and just as damn stubborn as he was to live my life my way. I'm not sorry I went and found him and told him the truth. I wish I'd done it sooner - but the past is done and I learned it. I don't need a selfish, cock-sure conniving witch to tell me my mistakes - every damn one of them shaped me into being who I am!" she was the shouting at him by the end of it and spun around so he couldn't see the fact that her eyes were burning and tears threatened to fall.

"Hey," Elladan's voice was quiet, despite the fact Nikki had been yelling not a minute before as his hands rested on her shoulders, "No need to yell, but if it helps get it out, by all means I'm not going to turn tail and run away because you do. Seems to me you have the same bad habit Raina does of sucking it all in and just swallowing it whole."

Nikki pulled away and Elladan could almost see her guard slamming up against the tide of emotion trying to keep it contained, "Even if I do, it's not your fault or anyone else's for that matter that I just screw up all the damn time. I am just so tired of having it thrown in my face." her voice trembled, far past the anger, and skidding into the uncomfortable realm of actually experiencing the hurt that the anger masked.

"You know it is okay to be pissed off? Not only them but yourself for the things that happened. What's not okay is holding onto it like a child's safety blanket." Elladan pointed, pressing the point just further knowing the dam was close to breaking.

"I am pissed off." Nikki snapped at him, "Mad at Tommy for his disappearing act - not one year not two years but four years of his daughter's life that he'll never get back - mad at me for not doing more to keep everyone together after Mandy was born. I let them push me away when I damn well needed them, when that baby needed them. And I'm past sick and tired of Willow insisting I'm some terrible person because I got my happy ending - late but by God I got it!" Nikki was shouting at him nearly at full volume even as tears streamed down her cheeks. "If she can't get over herself then I'm done. I don't want her in my life and I damn well don't need her negativity in my children's lives." She was barely standing on her own two feet as the last words tore past her lips, painful as they were it was the truth.

"That's about the most honest I've ever seen you be." Elladan answered this time not giving the option to pull away as he put both hand on her shoulders so she couldn't wall up and not finish the emotional purge. "All those feelings locked up in you are coming out in other ways - the overly bubbly personality, the more than needed protectiveness of the children. And its impeding relationship with the only people who really have your back - and I suspect before this is done all them will." he finished, letting go long enough to see what she'd do, whether she'd run or stay this time leaving it up to her.

Nikki didn't move, and when she looked up he saw why - there was no energy left after she had dumped all of her emotions, and thoughts on his head, rudely certainly but needed and he was more than able to absorb the violence of the storm, but jerked with surprise when she collapsed aiming for the ground in a ball instead found herself curled almost catlike into an embrace both warm and cool, and comfortable. Neither one said anything, one too choked with tears and sobs to be sensible, and the other waiting out the last of the storm of her emotions, knowing the first leg of Nikki's journey to healing was nearly finished.

_All of them so alike they're different._ Elladan mused silently to himself letting one hand stroke over her head as a shadow moved on the edge of the glade and he glanced to spot just the person he hoped to see, and waved him over, "Sleeping." he murmured with a faint smile up at the concerned Tommy.

"I know I probably shouldn't have but I got one of the elves to watch over the kids so I could come check - not that I think she'd -" Tommy cut himself off with a shake of his head even as the elf smirked faintly worming a hand free, "Can I sit?"

"I was actually debating trying to get up but she's on my foot," Elladan grimaced faintly, "And that's going to sting when the blood flow returns."

"She has a way of doing that," Tommy mused helping Elladan to shift Nikki's weight so that the elf could get to his feet, "Do you - I mean -"

"Stay," Elladan invited understanding that for the strength of the bond between the two, there were shaky elements, little insecurities that let both be led to unfortunate holes in their relationship, "I have the pleasure of being a friend, but you ... you're part of this whole situation you know." he said as he rose recognizing the surprise in the dark eyes of the man, as well the possessiveness that crept into the pose as Elladan shifting up the sleeping bundle. "Stay and be part of the solution or leave and forever be part of the problem." he said calmly turning toward the small hut, leaving the door behind him open.

Elladan had just finished settling Nikki on the bed, bothering only to pull off her shoes, bending to tuck them under the edge of the bed when Tommy appeared in time to see Elladan tuck her into the blankets just as she was, "Did you think I would do anything else?" he inquired coolly, his gaze a calm grey to Tommy's dark ones.

Tommy controlled the streak of jealousy with an exertion of will and smiled faintly at the elf, "No, maybe someone else might but not you." One warrior knew another, he recognized the easy, relaxed grace the elf moved with - that lazy stroll of a cat in his own domain that silently announced presence without being seen. "And," he glanced at Nikki with a very faint smile on his lips, "For all her flaws, no matter how upset she was there's lines Nikki wouldn't cross."

"She's got some deep wounds," Elladan said warningly, folding himself into one of the chairs giving Tommy the option to sit in the other, or along the bed, stretching his feet out before him, "Some of those are yours," he said remembering Nikki's shouted words.

"Yeah, I screwed up pretty big-time once by leaving her in the middle of the night," Tommy grimaced, the memory wasn't one of the proudest moments in his life. "I had no idea, none whatsoever of what she went through for four damn years while I got myself together she was struggling to - in true hardheaded Nikki fashion do it alone." he glanced back at her and Elladan saw the genuine love in the expression, "I have cursed at the sky in the dead hours of the night for what she went through - basically on her own but for what Destiny could bully her into taking." he shook his head at Elladan with a look that said it all, "I'm not proud of what I did, I can't change it but I can do what's right by the three of them now." there was calm resolve in his voice.

"And you have," Elladan answered soothingly, keeping his voice low hoping that Tommy would do the same. "Though it's past time you helped put a stop to the hurting that's going on." he said easily raising a hand against the protest on Tommy's tongue, "I'm well aware that the six of them would turn on you like a wolf on a fallen deer if you tried, but if you're as devoted to her," he tilted his chin toward Nikki, whose hand even in sleep was wrapped around Tommy's, "As she is you then its time you provide the united front that a ring indicates."

"Pretty knowledgeable about things like this when you're not married." Tommy snapped in a low hiss irritated at hearing what he already knew in his heart.

"Maybe, but I've got over a few centuries years of living on you," Elladan answered his annoyance flickering along the steady features, "And I have had the privilege of seeing multiple long-term relationships including my parents before my mother's illness so even though I am not married, as you so elegantly point out what is painfully obvious I have the life experience to know if you don't start batting for Nikki's team then you better get off the roster pal." he said with a grin at Tommy's bewildered look, "Your sister-in-law was most informative on analogies in our chess games."

Despite himself Tommy began chuckling quietly, "Raina has a habit of getting the terms jangled up too but it's so like her to put it that way, even to you who'd likely not quite get why it works like that." he shook his head once, "I like her, in a way she's that strange quirky family member no one can quite figure out if she's coming or going."

Elladan nodded quietly and eyed the man, "So which is it, suit up and play ball or take the easy way this time, when it's really for keeps."

"Guess it's time to play ball." Tommy answered eying Elladan, "You know a man could get really bad ideas coming across his wife curled up like that against another man."

"Get all the ideas you like," Elladan answered evenly, "the only one that would be true is that I am your wife's friend, something she desperately needs. If that means letting her yell at me at top volume - painful by the way and I'll be indulging in a nice tall glass of wine before I go to bed later - or letting her cry herself out I'm going to. I'm the last person you should feel threatened by."

_I want to go home._ The realization that I was so homesick was startling, I had spent easily ninety percent of my adult life away from my beloved homeland - planet really when it came to me it wasn't Phaedos that I missed. It was ...home... that place that at the end of the day when everything was done, to go and just unwind. I wasn't going to be able to sleep despite the fact it was somewhere in the early hours, too late to be night and too early to be morning and I rose pulling on the robe to walk out of my rooms barefoot, the cool ground a comfort on my feet as I began walking, not even aware that I had left my door open.

"What haunts you?" the voice was lightly accented and I spun, startled to look up at Glorfindel blinking as I rocked on my heels having not heard anyone behind me until he spoke.

"It's nothing." I answered with a shake of my head trying to push the thought away as he smirked.

"You really think, _indiell_ [heart-daughter] that I of all you know in these lands will believe that?" there was a light lilt of insult to Glorfindel's tone, "Now, we shall pretend you didn't try to lie to me and I ask again, what drove you from your bed?"

"Homesickness," I answered with a bitter, unhappy little laugh, "Not for where I'm from but ...home."

"Ah," understanding flickered across an attractive face as we began walking, "Now that is a thought which would drive even the Valar my dear from their rest, if not for the fact they are at home already."

"It's stupid," I answered curling up into the oversized chair, the feel of which reminded me of sitting with someone, another thing I missed and this I didn't dare to bring up not even to Glorfindel.

"No, _indiell_ it is not." he shook his head, "Everyone gets to a point in which they need a place to put their boots," he smiled faintly, "Even the warriors which guard this city and Imladris each have lives outside of their work, it's essential for well-being."

"You've seen what mess has been made of mine." I said with a sigh, my mind flickering to the mix-up of women I loved, respected and reviled in each breath I took, shaking my head, "I end up dumping my problems on a slew of other people."

"You didn't dump any problem on any of us," Glorfindel shook his head, "The boys were already planning on drop-kicking several of your sisters and the way they hurt you sealed it. They're terribly fond of you," he laughed at my bewildered look, "I forget, my dear you don't remember as much as we do yet but you will." he said tucking a stubborn strand of hair back behind his ear.

"I hope so," I sighed and leaned my head on the back of the chair, "its making me do cartwheels in my own head trying to unglue that door in my head, I don't know why."

"Perhaps the answer behind that is the same you are homesick." he said studying me the way a parent indeed would an adored child "You're a little afraid of what you'll find." he lowered his voice hearing footsteps in the corridor behind him.

"Yes." I shivered involuntarily, "Blocks like that only come up in the mind when there was great trauma..."

"Or heartbreak, child." Glorfindel shook his head, "and given your reaction to others I would place my coin on heartbreak."


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter Forty-Three

"Autumn," there was genuine surprise on Rumil's face as he opened the door to find the teary-eyed young woman on his doorstep in the predawn hour and immediately pulled her into a hug as she trembled, "What is wrong, I didn't expect to see you until breakfast?" he asked feeling the cool air against his skin, through the sleeping-clothes he had bothered with a few hours before as she hiccupped against his chest. "Autumm," he repeated trying to catch her attention, the hurt in her eyes enough that he had to squash the drive to go and beat whatever had undone his careful discussions with her since the strange family had landed in his homeland.

"I-I shouldn't have come b-but I-" she hiccupped as he used a fingertip to brush the tears away from her eyes, "didn't know what else to do."

"I told you before, my door was always open to you." he reminded her gently, pushing her hair back from her face. "What happened," he repeated leading her into the main room, sitting down next to her on the couch, brushing his hand over her cheek even as new tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I-I heard them arguing again - Nikki and Willow - "she shuddered and tried to swallow the hurt she felt about their loudly exchanged words, "And I heard others trying to get them to stop it - more to get Willow to shut up since Nikki was trying to take the high road about it as much as anyone can..." she sucked in a breath as the worst of what she heard echoed in her ears, "Willow dragged me into it .. and I heard someone snap at her over it an' it wasn't Nikki who did it..." tears spilled again as she pulled her knees up to her chest, "S-she said I was just like Nikki and I can't even repeat what she said..."

Understanding, and compassion covered the simmering anger as Rumil was more than able to guess what the young woman couldn't bring herself to repeat not even to him as he pulled her closer breaking down her defenses by letting her cry herself out against his shoulder, the very thing she needed to do . "It's okay, you don't have to say it," he murmured against her hair exhaling strongly, making a mental note to grab hold of Elrond's sons to find out what had really happened, "You can stay here," he said calmly, as the sobs slowed, "Sleep, little one, I have a few errands, and practice before I have free hours." he said as Autumn looked up at him swallowing a hiccup "Sleep." he insisted tucking her into his blankets mentally cursing the fact he'd have to change them in order to be able to do the same later, "I'll be back in a few hours, my brother lives two doors down if you wake up and need something," he said brushing her hair back from her face gently, "I'll be back in a few hours." he said gently, leaning to press his lips to her forehead before walking out of the room closing the bedroom door behind him.

Only then did Rumil let his guard down and began changing into his workout clothes carrying his spare clothes in a sack over his shoulder checking over his supplies in the hut and made note on a scrap of parchment that he needed a few things, particularly if he was going to keep ending up with a woman in his bed with the added insult of not being in it himself.

Rumil was in a positively foul mood by the time he had arrived at the practice field and instead of going into his usual routine - stretches, archery, sword-work, ending with a long run - he stretched his limbs and tapped the elven-guard currently making use of the punching bag on the shoulder. "Mind if I take a go at it?" he asked his gaze dark enough a warning that the senior guardsman was in no mood to be trifled with less so over a piece of equipment.

"Need a holder?" he asked turning to face his comrade, well familiar with the look of an agitated, frustrated elf.

"No." Rumil growled shaking his head as temper began sparking and the guard knew the benefit of getting out of the twin's way instead went to find the Captain who was probably the only one able to cut through Rumil's temper other than his fraternal twin.

"You're going to punch a hole in that canvas if you keep that up," Haldir remarked from a safe distance after clearing a berth around his agitated brother observing the aggressive way he was attacking the bag, working out his frustration on an inanimate object rather than the actual source of it.

"Yeah, take it out of my pay." Rumil growled as Haldir took advantage of the momentary distraction to intercept his brother's fist turning his arm so that the twin had to look up at him recognizing the flecks of controlled, barely fury. "Let go, brother." Rumil demanded his tone clearly not speaking as a guard but as family, "And walk away."

"No." Haldir replied breathing in a familiar smell - female - he realized with a jolt that still half-clung to his brother's skin despite the sweat he had worked up and at the second warning look the field was deserted of guards, none of them willing to risk their hides - or posts by angering Haldir, "Now, what has you up before the sun, on a regular practice day - one you are not obligated with your rank to attend?" he asked as Rumil yanked himself free, glaring at him.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss private information." he answered finally scowling at his brother, who shook his head.

"That can only mean you were caught in the cross-fire of that ongoing feud, I do look forward to that moving out of our home."

"You and me both," _Sort of._ Rumil amended silently shaking his head quietly, "I don't know what that woman's problem actually is but if she doesn't cut out the hurting of her family I'm going to strangle her." he shook his head and eyed Haldir, "Elrohir I feel some sympathy for as that woman is enough to make even our father drop her in the fires of Mt. Doom."

Haldir laughed once, "You must mean Miss Willow."

Rumil nodded, "I've not hid the fact that I've maintained a friendship with Autumn, Haldir, not from any of them - granted I think the odd little redhead would see it even if I tried."

"Ah, you mean the one that chases the Arms Master around the field and wins?" Haldir grinned faintly, "I don't doubt it - those eyes look clean into a man's soul and see the good and the bad."

Rumil nodded, "I left Autumn sleeping in my bed, which is probably where that fool of a woman gets some asinine ideas -" he scowled at Haldir's half surprised expression, "Get your mind out of the sewers, Brother. Do you recall what Father would do to us if he thought for a minute I let a guest sleep on the couch?"

"Beat you within an inch of your little life." Haldir chuckled, beginning to put together the reason for Rumil's sudden aggressiveness, and despite himself found that he was amused.

"Precisely." Rumil answered as a flurry of movement caught their attention.

"You," they heard Willow's voice a split second before they saw the woman in short order followed by an irritated Elrohir who caught her hand as it was aimed at Rumil's face.

"You, will stop it." there was an edge of demand in Elrohir's voice that cut through to her as his grey eyes narrowed at her even as Haldir's body moved slightly in front of Rumil's. "Apologize." there was no room for argument as Elrohir's hand wrapped around the back of her neck and pulled her half off her feet.

"Why should I apologize he's the one doing wrong." she snapped venomously as the bark of laughter escaped Haldir's throat focusing her attention, "So it's funny to you that he's making my kid sister into another whore."

"Excuse me," two voices in different accents said entirely the same words in common as Elrohir and Rumil both rounded on her and at the fire in very pale blue eyes let Elrohir back away leaving Willow facing off with the controlled elf even if he stood just behind her assessing both of them Rumil knew by the measuring look in grey eyes.

"Let me get this straight," it was an effort to speak in common when his thoughts were racing in elvish. "I've wronged you by being a friend to your sister? That's crazier than a hungry halfling." he snapped at her taking a long stride forward betting she was going to back into Elrohir which she did, "Just what exactly did I do to you?"

"You are turning my sister into a whore - we've already got one." she snapped as Elrohir's arms wrapped around her middle as she was turning to stalk away even the grey eyes of the elf behind her widened at the ripcord of fury that registered on his face.

"I've done plenty of things that would make you blush, little girl." Rumil worked to control his temper as she glared at him haughty and sure she was right, "Not one of those things has been take advantage of a young woman - a very sweet, very kind young woman -" he amended with a shake of his head before refocusing on her, "If, and I do mean if my friendship takes that turn it will remain none of your business." his voice was low, dangerous as Haldir's hand rested on his shoulder knowing just how close to losing his temper.

["Easy little brother,"] Haldir murmured as he received the same death-glare that Willow did before Rumil stalked off heading, Haldir noted absently toward his home.

"You're making friends left and right aren't you." Elrohir spat furiously shoving her away from him, "You should be damn happy he didn't do what almost any other elf would - slap the hellfire right out of you for that." he fumed shaking his head before looking at Haldir, "I do apologize for interrupting your discussion with Rumil I trust all is well?"

["He was explaining to me of his unexpected guest."] Haldir answered reflexively in elven, ["I would imagine for the near future your ... charge... should steer clear of him until he regains hold of his temper."]

Elrohir shook his head, "I am sorry , and I'll see to it that she apologizes later today." he glared at her in stark return for hers, "You cause me to lose a friend and you and I'll be going circles again."

"You selfish, inconsiderate, incorrigible little princess!" Elrohir fumed not ten minutes later, this time more than half shoving Willow into the room slamming the door behind him. "That was the most inexcusable, unbelievable sight I've ever seen out of anyone who calls themselves grown!" he positively shook with suppressed rage.

"You wouldn't know what those words meant if they slapped you in the face!" Willow fumed back at him catching her balance with both hands on one of the tables.

"Wouldn't I?" there was a hard edge to Elrohir's voice that would have warned even his twin that he was very close to losing his temper, "I do, and I'm looking at the dictionary-level definition of all of the above and then some - and none of that I will say since unlike you I have manners and respect for myself." he snapped closing the distance between them in two strides.

"No you bullying ass you don't have any of that- your little friend there shows exactly what your sort is like!" Willow snarled at him as his hand smacked onto hers before she could think to lash out at him as well.

"My friend," Elrohir's voice held in it a note of controlled temper, "Has more honor in his smallest finger than you have in your whole self-important head." he snapped at her, "You embarrassed me, you made a fool out of yourself and worse you insulted your own family - what kind of woman does that?" he demanded furiously glaring at her.

Willow's hands were faster than Elrohir had factored in, even though he'd spent his fair time of sparring and learning the way Raina moved and the flat of her hand connected with his cheek hard enough to leave a mark, and she shrieked as instead of the physical brawl she wanted he picked her up bodily and pushed her over a shoulder to storm out of the room the door banging closed behind him as Elrohir stalked at full speed short of a run to the large fountain heedless of the large crowd gathered around waiting on the evening meal to begin.

Elrohir spared a single apologetic look at Elrond and flipped Willow into the moving waters of the fountain soaking her to the bone as he reached in and grabbed her by the back of her shirt in order to pull her head out of the water spluttering hissing as she burbled water clearly about to start another tirade, "Not done yet?" he snapped dunking her back under the water and counted to three. At that count he pulled her out of the water again, "Are we done or are you still in need of cleaning?" he demanded hooking his feet and other arm so that Willow couldn't pull him into the fountain as well.

"No, but you sure as hells need one! Take your damn hands off me and get me out of here!" she spat water at him furiously as she struggled against the grip.

"Guess not." Elrohir replied coldly the anger settling to methodical ice as he dunked her a third time into the frigid water and counted to three again this time hauling her out of the water keeping hold of the wriggling woman. "Now that I have your undivided attention, we're going to dinner." he said pulling her to where the main tables were being set up.

"Do I even want to know?" Nikki said in an undertone as I walked up on this sight.

"Probably not," Elladan said looking at her then me, "Since the last maiden that he did that to he caught with in his bed with someone else."

"Yikes note to self, stay off his shit list," Nikki remarked quietly looking up Elladan, "Can he actually make her sit through dinner like that I mean I'm all for attitude adjustment..." she trailed off as we came closer to the table.

"Is apparently," Elladan answered noticing that Willow had the seat normally taken by Rumil, who was obligingly sitting with Autumn and Destiny closer to the other end of the table. " We'll sit down here," he said to us pointing to the trio of chairs close to where Elrond and Celeborn sat.

"Do I even want to know why there is a drowned rat at my table?" Celeborn's voice was a low murmur aimed at Elrond who shrugged faintly.

"I can guess," Nikki answered lowly casting a slight look toward Willow who looked as miserable as Elrohir looked controlled furious. "Probably opened her big mouth at the wrong second and finally had to pay up the price for it."

"Nikki," I placed a hint of warning into my voice, given that Willow looked - and projected a fair bit of embarrassment and unhappiness, which I knew was precisely what Elrohir was going for, rubbing it in, while all too tempting was not the way to go certainly.

"All right, all right." Nikki sighed though i could see plainly that she was no more sorry for Willow's predicament than I was. I had to walk a fine line between being surrogate parent, and elder sibling - the mother in me was outraged and the sister in me was cheering which meant I had to take the high road and let her bury herself with Elrohir.

"So what did you get yourself tangled up in since we all kind of commandeered your regularly scheduled plans?" Elladan asked me causing me to smirk faintly.

"Nothing nearly as exciting as everyone else has, I mostly read or slept." I answered easily returning his dubious look. I had done just that, though I couldn't say that it had been peaceful, and I hoped that the twin wasn't going to press on the matter.

"On another matter," Haldir spoke up and I saw the slightly malevolent glint to his gaze as he eyed the volunteers, "After dinner, I'd like a conference on the topic of the celebration."

"Our suite's big enough for us to have the meeting," Elladan answered knowing that Elrohir hadn't brought Willow into that sanctuary needing a small place to themselves. "We can do it there."

"I'll run a bit behind," Elrohir warned without looking at Willow despite her hissed protest, "I have a more urgent matter but I'll be along after that."

"Not a problem," Haldir gave an unconcerned shrug before looking to me, "You're invited, but not obligated, as I'm sure we could all use your insight."

"Sure invite her to our own sentencing -" Willow was cut off from her rant by Kris who so normally sided with her that the shock was apparent.

"Willow shut up." Kris interrupted her sounding exactly as exasperated as Haldir looked, "Since we got here all I heard is how much you hate it, how much you want to go home and how unfair it is everyone but you has whatever they want and you get stuck with shit. Just shut up." Kris repeated.

"You don't think we'd like to go home?" Destiny snapped at Willow furiously standing up, "Boy you definitely got to stop eating the Pity-Pithy cereal first thing in the morning and just go away." She said shoving her chair back with a loud scraping sound before stalking out of the hall.

_I wouldn't._ I thought to myself keeping my thoughts behind a carefully locked door, _Walk away from a place I am so sure I was truly happy? Not a chance, not till I know for sure._ "What time would you like to start, Haldir?" I inquired choosing to let Destiny's stalk off pass knowing that Destiny was less prone to outbursts so clearly she had something on her mind.

"How about two hours after dinner?" Nikki suggested interrupting Haldir's thoughts clearly but her gaze was intent, "I um need to talk to you, Sis."

"There's a surprise," Willow muttered and it was pure accident that the utensil in my hand went flying as she shrieked even as Elrohir's hand shot over to intercept the blade with a raised eyebrow but he kept it rather than returning it.

_Shit that wasn't on the plan._ I thought to myself with a small grimace, "Unsurprising as it is, I have always kept to an open door policy for the lot of you, only some of you opt to keep the door closed." I remarked as mildly as I could manage.

I knew Nikki would come to me for the discussion she wanted to have on her own terms, like me she had to go to war with her harshest critic her own way. I gave instead opportunities for her to appear. I heard the faint sniffle and leaned forward to peer over the balcony and saw exactly who I thought I might, Nikki was walking through the garden below, her shoulders hunched forward and her head was down close to her chest. "Nikki," I called down to her and smiled faintly as she looked up at me. "Come up here, seems everyone else has decided this is my personal veranda or something."

It would take about fifteen minutes or so for Nikki to make her way from the garden floor up to the veranda I had seemingly inherited. She looked no better than I had seen a few minutes before, though she was seemingly walking somehow to her own doom if the expression she wore was any indication.

I drew in a deep breath and sat down again in the chair I'd been using for the last days as Nikki took the one nearest to me, "Its your floor, what is it?" I asked settling into it as I sensed that this might take awhile, possibly by the worried look she had more than one day.

Nikki wiped at her eyes, turning slightly away from me, "Just woolgathering and wondering when this is all going to end."

"Only way to slay a dragon is to go into his lair and face him." I pointed out gently, "If there's one thing I do know, is that everyone is telling the same story in different ways, but somewhere a truth is being lost."

What we didn't notice not right away was the figure that slipped in taking the chair farthest from where I sat, and nearest to the door without a word, almost as a sentry to bar entry until we were through. I realized that the way Nikki was sitting she wouldn't notice right away and but I saw movement and glanced slightly to see whom, and at the inquisitive look and slight shaking of his head from Elrond shook my head very slightly so that he would know to stay seated and be quiet.

I had to strain to hear Nikki's voice, she spoke so softly at first, "God, it seems like a lifetime ago now when this all started. Tommy and I'd gone together off and on since probably our second year of high school - including I don't know how many breakups and make-ups and fights and everything else; and we still keep on going." Nikki gave a watery laugh and swiped at her eyes with her fingers and drying them on her shirt tails. "But that's only the half of it all, maybe not even half actually." she shook her head and looked up at the golden leafed ceiling, "Growing up my parents, well the second set, that is had this extremely rigid thought process about what was okay and what wasn't, and who was appropriate for being seen with us. Of course Tommy being who he was - that is not part of the upper crust sure didn't settle well at least until he was chosen by the Power as a Ranger. Though that didn't mean they wanted us dating or anything." Nikki suppressed a shudder and I could feel the despair and hurt pouring off of her and with an effort stemmed it. "I told them the absolute truth," her voice snapped at the memory as she refused to look at me, "And," she swallowed harshly the tears falling unchecked, telling how deeply that wound had gone for her, "My mother, more so than my father lashed out at me, told me I was everything negative under the sun from a worthless whore to useless and to not hear my father - the guy who had dried every tear I'd ever cried since being separated from Dulcea and my dad didn't do anything to help me, supported her and chimed in with how disappointed and did absolutely nothing but show his agreement when she told me to get what little was left there and get out, to not ever call, or send a letter, that- that I was as far as she was concerned, dead." Nikki's voice had lowered to a trembling whisper as she closed in on herself as she spoke, reminding me very much of the young kid she had been, college or no college this was the knife-in-the belly wound of a child cut by the one person that should have supported them.

I had to focus to shut down my anger - if I ever crossed paths with their adoptive parents I was going to give them what for, how, and why with directions to remove their heads out of their asses when I realized Nikki had more to say, "Since then, I have not gotten along with anyone but Destiny, who is almost in the same boat I'm in... Its why Autumn and I aren't close anymore, I didn't want her to have any problems like what I had with them...I'm sorry I screwed up everything..." she stopped speaking for a moment and her voice lowered as if she were talking to herself more than me, "I didn't know that she'd overheard that whole thing, and since then she's done nothing but give me grief. It's not my fault she decided not to use her brain for the last time."

I felt the steadying influence of Elrond's gift and let myself fall under the thrall of it, the false peace of emotion when I wanted nothing more than to make them materialize and make them see what they'd done. Instead, I did the only thing I could do and pulled her hand free strengthening my grip as she pulled away until I had pulled her all but out of that chair and met and kept her gaze knowing a reflection of her pain was in my own, brushing sticky, partly damp hair away from her face and didn't blink or let her pull away from me as hard as she was trying to when I pulled once hard on her arm so much so that she nearly tipped the chair over standing up as I didn't give her a choice but to fit into the chair I was in, bending myself to a nearly impossible angle and held on to her with my arms locked around her so that even if she tried there was no way free.

"What they did," I controlled my anger, and my deep insult, "Is unacceptable, unforgiveable and not what I would have expected out of two former Rangers." I said lowly, stroking my hand through her hair finding myself feeling very mean toward them but that was not for one of the youngest of my sisters to feel, not when she was so vulnerable and bleeding on the inside, "From me you will never find judgment or anger over a choice that has proven to be the correct one." I said softly, "Love, real love Nichole never has conditions, expectations or price that come with it." I said as she shook still against me, "Mine each of you have always had since I was able to understand what it was I felt about any of you... and nothing can take that away." I continued repeating it every time she shook her head not believing me at first even if her arms wrapped painfully around my neck as I rode out her storm fully and sighed a deep relief as she dropped exhaustedly to sleep even as i ran my hand through her hair brooding as I had forgotten the presence on the veranda.

"Come on," there was a bare trace of the kindness that had been shown to Autumn as the evening parting of the ways commenced in Elrohir's voice as he turned his attention back to Willow, "Let's get you at least looking presentable again." he figured that she had suffered long enough, at least in wet clothes though a part of him had enjoyed dunking her into the fountain, in return for the insult under it was a layer of compassion that let him show some small mercies.

_She's turned them all against me, first Destiny and Autumn, and now even Kris - who's supposed to be my friend forever. Course Raina's never on anyone's side let alone mine..._ Willow sulked and then began simmering furiously again even as she forced herself to calmly walk behind Elrohir out of the fact that she worried he might drop her in that freezing cold fountain again if she didn't. It was taking all the anger Willow had in her to keep her teeth from chattering from the chill as she yanked her hand away from the warm one turning so abruptly that she missed the concerned look from Elrohir.

"Inside," he said opening the door to the rooms she'd been using and noticed that everything was exactly as it had been left, from the skewed table that had been knocked around in the brief, almost frightening scuffle and with infuriating ease he moved around the mild chaos even as she didn't, leaving it probably to servants to clean it. "No one will clean in these rooms until after you've moved on, anything you want cleaned," he said casually, "From the privy to the kitchen area even towels will not be removed unless you do so yourself. No friend you have made here, even among those who tend to the royal grounds." he said turning to watch her, "Which means, if you don't do it, it doesn't get done."

"Just how is that fair?" Willow protested, "I get treated like a servant and they all enjoy the amenities."

"You're the one behaving like a spoiled child," Elrohir remarked mildly, his tone deceptively calm, "Now, do you want a hot bath to drive out that chill or are you going to make yourself sick just to be spiteful?" he asked stopping at the bathroom door inwardly greatly amused at the horrified look sighing deeply, "Do you really think I've lived this long without knowing what an average female - human or elven - looks like without clothing on?" he smiled easily at her headshake, "Good because I haven't and while I can think of a hundred things I'd rather do right now what I will do is ensure that you have a warm bath, a strong tea and something constructive to do so I can go see what Haldir wanted to talk about."

Ten minutes later Willow was chin-deep in a tub too luxurious to be called merely a bathtub, and surrounded by soft-smelling sweet water that could have been boiling hot for all she cared. The soapy bubbles obscured sight of her, which eased some of her anxiety even as the elf damnably sat down stretching his feet out before him as if he hadn't a care to the world, while she began bathing though he didn't make a secret of keeping an eye on her doings.

"Why do you hate her?" he asked at length, "Them really," he amended quietly, "Why do you hate them." he repeated as she didn't answer him.

"I don't know, couldn't happen to have anything to do with the fact one's only there when it's convenient and the other's turned out to be such a whore?" Willow retorted angrily, "To make it worse, they've turned Kris against me too."

"No," he disagreed with her quietly, "None of them are against you, not the person. Your behavior is certainly not winning you any popularity contests, however."

"Could have fooled me," She replied tartly, "nobody lifted a finger to help me earlier."

He smiled gently, "No elf here, nor in Rivendell to your aid would come not when it was me whom you had crossed, Willow and your sisters were I think in too much shock and surprise to do so either, you take things so personal." he said quietly brushing a matted strand of light brown hair back away from her face, "You should wash that," he said deliberately unkindly, hating himself for it but knew that he had little option but to keep her off-kilter in order to keep the upper hand on her.

It was only after she had gotten out and was wrapping herself into a large, soft towel that Willow realized that she hadn't had the forethought to remember at the end of a bath meant that there would be a need for new clothes - no way was she wearing those half-dried ones from before then realized with a jolt she was in the bathing area shivering and alone.

"I thought that you would need these..."he trailed off at the small shriek and set the small pile of clothing aside in time to keep her on her feet even if the towel slipped and tangled in Willow's feet which caused her to slip further. "Whoa, easy there." Elrohir said soothingly steadying Willow with both hands, grey eyes on her flushed face, though he had seen more than enough to cause her to be completely mortified, causing him to diffuse the situation with a softer tone, "Try lifting one foot at a time, you're all tangled up in the towel."

"No, really." the sarcasm was back in Willow's voice and it was nearly a relief as he reached to pass her the shirt first.

"Yes really," he answered equally sarcastic, "Unless you like to sleep clad in your own skin, which will not hurt my feelings either." he answered easily.

"Hey, you made it," Elladan greeted his irritable twin and held out the glass of red wine to him knowing that Elrohir not only craved it but truly needed it.

"Yeah, took me a little longer than I expected to get that heathen child into the bed ," he shook his head and looked at me, "You, how the bloody blazes have you managed the five of them without going completely out of your mind?"

"Very carefully, and by keeping some of them apart unless it couldn't be avoided, like for Autumn." I answered picking up the response from my left, and let it go, no sense in embarrassing someone who was a huge help in keeping my youngest sister well and whole.

"Divide and conquer," Haldir nodded, "I know the method well," he cast a glance at his twin brothers as I set my glass down, "But before we go into discussion mode, business time?"

"Nikki's reacting," Elladan said firmly, "Both to Raina's attempt to build her confidence and every - more successful of Willow's attempts to tear it down."

"Nikki," I sighed deeply, "has a head as hard as a rock, and a heart as gooey as that chocolate cake you conned the kitchen out of."

"That's a fair way to put it," Elladan agreed as his twin sat down next to him poking Elrohir with a quiet sound, "So what'd that girl do that pissed you off the last time even I watched you do that trick there was some serious betrayal going on?"

"She slapped me for telling the truth and she I think wanted to fight, so I cooled her off." Elrohir answered mildly, "Can't say it wasn't thoroughly enjoyable to do."

"And you called her bluff," I remarked mildly, "Impressive, truly and here I figured I'd have you begging me to take the little heathen off your hands."

"And have you laid up in the hospital wing and delaying the trip back to Rivendell - where my father's positively itching to get back to - I think not." Elrohir shook his head, "I'll wager it'll be an interesting time anyway."

_Rivendell._ I had a familiar twisting need that I recognized as the homesickness that I had spoken to Glorfindel about at the name and I tucked it back into a far corner of my mind, returning my attention back on their conversation.

"Basically everyone but Willow's shaping into being the decent human beings that we all know they are capable of being." Haldir sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Lovely."

"No, what's lovely is the reaction that she'll have if everyone else is invited and she's not." Elrohir said leaning forward slowly seeming to come to life as he finished the glass of wine, "She'll take it as everyone's against her, or siding with Nikki who seems to be some sort of focus for her. I am not sure what this stems from, and I know that you were away for a lot of their early years..."

"I don't know, I was away as you said, dealing with issues of my own, not least keeping Camtamin away from them as much as was possible," I shrugged slightly broodingly, "I do know the judgmental side had to have come from somewhere, that's a learned behavior."

"One that's going to land her cross-wise on either Lord Celeborn or Lord Elrond's tempers." Rumil spoke up carefully drawing my attention back to him, "And that is no kind fate for anyone."

"She can dig herself out of that grave if it comes to it." I answered easily closing my eyes for a moment, "We don't have a real vote gentlemen its proving to be an all or nothing vote if nothing else for peace's sake."

"That it is," Haldir agreed cautiously, "Do you think you can contain the explosions if we allow it?" he directed the rest of his comment to Elrohir.

"Between my recent proving of a bluff being far more than a bluff and Raina's ability to push back I think we'll be more than all right," Elrohir grinned faintly, "Worst case scenario she gets another impromptu bath."


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter Forty-Four

It was interesting, I decided looking around the large glade dedicated to the celebration that was the last of the summer season and the herald of the changing of the guard as it were. They mingled and mixed with those around them as easily as any others, though even in plain clothes I could pick out which were members of the mixed guard enjoying the music and the camaraderie from my vantage point, just inside the inner circles, currently my gaze flicked past where Rumil and his twin were teaching Autumn and another elf to play chess and the easy touch of his fingers against her shoulder to capture her attention was sweet to watch - I knew a tentative courtship beginning when I saw one, though my sister didn't yet know it... I was partly relieved for it meant that unlike my experiences, Autumn would learn that relationships were meant to be kind, and enjoyed.

"It's almost too sweet watching it, huh?" Nikki appeared at my shoulder, her tone low to avoid being heard by them, "But good for her."

"She of all of us, deserves her happy ending." I agreed gently looking up at Nikki, "let her have it." I said quietly getting to my feet and wandering away from her as well.

"Raina, you're the one who deserves the happy ending." Nikki murmured turning in time to see that the celebration was getting into full swing - there was laughter and dancing when she saw Tommy.

He had taken care to dress this time, she smiled to herself taking in the image of him in the near-twilight framed by the falling sun maybe not perfect, heavens knew the man had a wicked temper at times but the mischief in his eyes and the easy smile made her forget the hurt that still sometimes nagged at her. The hurt that had partly driven a wedge between them despite two children, when his gaze found hers looking as she did for him he for her and met the rest of the world faded away. It always did when, even from halfway across the glade his eyes met hers, both unaware the look had been seen.

"And that, is why they work." I murmured to myself with a small sad smile to disguise the hole in my heart.

"They've done that forever," Destiny said from my left, smiling as Jason's arms were wrapped around her shoulders, partly a possessive gesture but also an affectionate one, "Their eyes meet and the rest of us can dance naked and neither one would notice."

"There's an idea," Elladan remarked cheerfully coming up behind Jason and Destiny, "Though I'm pretty sure that'd be getting me the riot act."

"We'd never do it anyway," Jason remarked kissing Destiny's temple with a laugh, "Nothing good for anyone else's eyes would come of it anyway."

"Yeah, really I have no room in my brain for the picture of what you two do behind your bedroom door thanks, I see the end result that's enough for me." Kris said approaching somewhat cautiously.

"Hey, if you really want front row seats, just me know." Jason laughed at Kris' horrified look, "Seriously, Kris really do you think I'm interested in anyone else knowing what I do with Des?"

"I figure not," Kris admitted as their conversation began swirling from topic to topic again which allowed me the luxury of letting my mind wander, which it had been trying to do for the bulk of the evening as it was.

"Where's she going?" I vaguely heard the question as I began wandering around the area enjoying the warmth of the bonfire, the sometimes flashing energy of the people around me, even as my fingers began toying with the chain to the pendant that was surely the answer to my riddle of why everything was as familiar as it was, such as my ability to fluently communicate with the elves, and why I just knew some things was found within the well-cut gem.

I selected a seat just outside the warm orange-red ring of the bonfire close enough to feel the warmth of the flames but not be quite as visible as I had been previously while trying to mingle among different people. I removed the chain from around my neck and dangled it thoughtfully before my eyes between my line of sight and the flame so that the light would bounce and be reflected off of the shining surface of the gem and the metal, which glowed a gentle red in the firelight.

Little bit by little bit the sense of déjà vu continued to course over my mind, that feeling that I'd been somewhere or done something before and this time the sense wouldn't quite fade the way it had been since the feel of falling had come over me and landed my mixed-up and traumatic family into the woods of Lothlorien... a realm of the elves.

In the fire light dancing along the pale blue gem I saw the box being handed to me, and the quiet, intense look of the elf handing it to me... waiting as I opened the box to receive the necklace the sense of winter's chill permeating the dancing image which would blur and spin into the next image again leaving me transfixed on the spinning pendant...

"Elrond?" the voice was concerned as the speaker's hand quickly rescued the glass of wine in his hand, the other reaching out as his body lurched as if struck. "Are you well?" Erestor asked casting an urgent glance a few yards away where Glorfindel stood chatting with several others.

"Yes, Erestor." Came the automatic answer, one that the chief counselor knew was a lie, causing his hand to rest on his friend's shoulder lightly, "I am well, it was as if I were struck for a few ..." he trailed off as a second, jabbing stab of emotion cut through his defenses reaching blindly for the nearby table to steady himself.

"No, you're not." Erestor stated firmly aiming to push Elrond to sit down in one of the chairs as realization dawned on both of them, grey eyes meeting darker ones.

"I am fine, it is someone else who is not." Elrond corrected his friend moving to step around Erestor realizing that there was only one possible source of emotion as strong as to be able to cause him physical pain. Raina.

He didn't find her right away not with the flickering fire, and the moving people meandering through the glade as aimless as any celebration attendee would truly be doing which impeded the location of a single, small human female.

"Elrond?" the concern in Nikki's voice, as well the echoing pain, "Is everything okay, I mean I'm used to her tilting emotions but ..."

"I know." Elrond's answer was curt, bordering into rude but Nikki was far too distracted to really call him on it, "Have you seen your sister?" he asked drawing in a deep breath as the jab this time was as painful as a dagger through the chest would be causing him to have to hold his breath while trying to split his attention enough to restore the festive balance to the celebration without twisting the emotions he wanted to locate and calm, preferably with little fuss.

This he realized with a jolt was going to happen, partly as Nikki began circling the celebration, he saw organizing her sisters to help neutralize the violent swing of what could only be Raina's emotions so that the celebration for the Galadhrim could continue. It was telling of the faith Nikki had in each of her sisters, who were by then each circling an area - Willow included which was a larger surprise even if she was only interacting with his sons, Elrond counted that a victory as at last he caught sight of the twinkle of metal against the firelight twirling and dancing.

_Flowering vines - beautiful, deadly and fragile._ Elrond thought to himself as he approached where Raina sat, cloaked in fire and shadow, the light dancing off of the twirling pendant dangling from her fingertips. The faraway look to her eyes and the coursing pain in her features was telling as she stared into the pendant, from which there was dancing firelight and as he came closer, flickering images of a past that brought him a sense of bittersweet wish.

Elrond lowered his weight to the ground slightly behind the trembling figure reaching out with his hand to touch her neck and shoulder, feeling her muscles tense at the touch and then relax under the touch as the pendant tumbled from her fingers. It spiraled out of her fingertips and tumbled into the soft grass before her feet a twinkle of shining mithril and blue stone as Raina's knees pulled up to her chest.

Elrond's touch firmed on the back of her neck, only enough to ensure that she was certain that he was really, truly real as his other arm circled around to rest atop her hands, his own large enough comparatively to cover both of hers as he sensed the dam break and the trembling increased so much so that he was no longer sure if she shook with shock, grief or utter disbelief as the year they'd had crashed down along her sharp mind. "Shh," he whispered gently against her hair, "I'm right here,"

"Really real," Despite himself, Elrond smiled faintly at the stunned whisper as her hand pried itself free of his to reach for the pendant her fingers wrapping around the cool metal chain blindly as she drew in a deep, steadying breath before turning to face him, "You knew." she said in an undertone as his hands closed behind her as she did.

"I did," he answered lowly opting for the honesty she demanded, the faint smile curling the corners of his lips slightly, "It was better to let you determine for yourself, if what we had - the things you half-remembered were dream, wish or real."

_ It all really happened... I'm not crazy ... it's all really real... _ My mind reeled and rocked with the realization that I hadn't truly lost my mind in the last year was more than half a relief by then as I felt his hands move up to rest on my shoulders drawing me into a closer embrace than I'd dared let anyone except for Glorfindel chance.

"Really, really real." he answered softly as I breathed in the scent of him even amid the smoky fire, the exotic seeming flowers in bloom all around, I could catch his own - that sea-salt tang mixed with a spice I couldn't quite name as the laugh burbled out of my chest watery as a sea-grave as my eyes burned.

I sucked in several breaths and felt the soothing balm of his own gift, less a curse for him than it was for me work through my frazzled nerves blanketing them in an affection that held in it the promise of something much more real than that. "Yes, quite real." he answered softly beginning to stand reaching to help me to my feet, "What we will do, is play their game a little longer with this celebration, an hour perhaps and then we will quietly disappear until the morning when it is time to say our farewells and from there... let come what may."

Organized chaos, I decided as I approached the staging area for those leaving for Rivendell, and enjoyed the frantic energy of it. At the center were three elves, directing, soothing, and in one case I saw with a chuckle that my young nephew had decided to take a liking to Elrond, pulling at his robe sleeve even as Elrond gave further direction.

Without missing a beat he turned and picked up the boy and placed him on his shoulders where the vantage point was priceless and, for me poignant. I gave myself the minute to enjoy the view of it and silently laughed as he passed a treat up to the child even as I heard Nikki's admonishment not to waiting until her back was turned.

For another quarter-hour it was indeed pure chaos, as children were placed into carriages, and horses were readied for the journey and I turned to see that at least one surprising figure was preparing for the journey; I had expected Autumn to want to stay in Lorien, given that she and Rumil were dancing a familiar dance.

"Is there anything you don't do well?" I heard Kris ask as I was given the boost up onto a large black stallion who shifted a moment under my weight before settling down as well.

I laughed a moment and turned the horse around by the lead rope and looked down at her, "Sure there is, I don't do inter-personal relationships with any grace or skill."

"Point." Kris agreed reluctantly as the large group of us began heading down the first steps to the long path.

I was quiet, thoughtful as I realized that this must've been the path another woman took several times in a long life and let the guide-guard by the horse's head lead both the horse and myself as I allowed myself the steeping thoughts to pass the time until I looked up and the evening twilight had fallen around all of us, and camp was being set up.

It would be the first of a fortnights' worth of nights and days of travelling and wandering with fortunately uneventful days and nights that made me edgy as the first lines of the elven realm of Rivendell began approaching. I heard the rush of the wide river that made up one barrier and sensed the jubilation of the elves around me to be so close to home that little could be said for it but relief...


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter Forty-Five

"You are quiet today," the voice held in it an increasingly familiar lilt, and it drew Kris' attention from the fire she had been watching, enjoying a flask of water between her hands, "And, that I find unusual since you spent half of our first meeting swearing, I think at me." Haldir sounded faintly amused as he sat down partly to check in on the younger woman.

"Not a lot to say, besides Willow does enough talking for the both of us lately, and frankly I'm not in the mood to wind up on the dark side of Raina's temper again she's scary." Kris managed a slight smile.

"No, not really," he answered easily stretching his feet out before him enjoying the warmth of the fire on his legs as he eyed her, "I'd say mostly harmless - the way a wild animal is harmless to its environment but cornered or harassed and then the fire of the volcano erupt."

"I did think about what you asked me, I guess it was right before we headed here," Kris said quietly, "And I think you have a point, I'm only making it worse letting Willow speak for both of us when I really think it's all stupid - our parents can't spend their time refereeing us and it's about pushed Raina up over the edge trying to keep five of us really from killing each other. Granted Autumn's so stuck in the middle she can't win no matter what she does."

"Don't worry too much about her," Haldir said thoughtfully remembering for a moment his discussion recently with his younger sibling, "She's in capable hands that I can assure you."

"Goes with the territory, Autumn's the baby of all of us and in case you missed it Raina's kinda protective."

Haldir laughed, the sound surprising from such a grave and serious individual, "Oh trust me I heard all about the 'pint-sized foul-tempered little demon'," he shook his head remembering the exasperation on Rumil's face as he recounted the conversation just before leaving Lorien when Raina had politely, but directly cornered him. "She has a way with .. words and action."

Kris smiled into the fire a moment, "Yeah that sounds like her all right, though mostly it's the fact that for all of us Autumn's always been the one we wanted safe - about the only thing we all agree on really is that she doesn't need to be part of all the problems."

"I suppose I will leave you for tonight with a last thought, Kristina do you want to make your own bridges or continue to use the ones Willow keeps setting aflame between you and the others." Haldir said before getting up, and Kris saw that he returned to where he had set up a tent and space to rest for the night for himself.

"I can answer that already," she murmured to herself quietly, "I just want everyone to get along or stay away from each other."

"I know elves are all wise and all that but are you sure this isn't like a bloodbath waiting for a place to happen?" Destiny looked up at the elf craning her neck as he leaned to face her smirking slightly.

"I think between Haldir and myself we can prevent you and Kristina from murdering each other," Orophin spoke mildly, "Besides if either of you two decide to play that kind of game, we have a great many years more practice at the sibling rivalry thing and let me tell you, we got over it a few centuries back when we all realized that every one of us has a thing we're the best at. Can I give you an example while we wait?" he asked sitting down beside her on the bench.

"Sure, why not I'm curious what you have to say anyway." Destiny answered turning to place her foot on the bench, draping an arm around it to give the elf her attention.

"We weren't that different from the five of you, except there's only the three of us which meant there was less to divide and conquer." Orophin said smirking faintly shaking his head sending the silvery-blond hair to swinging, "That doesn't mean we didn't drive everyone around us positively up the walls, until we realized that if we worked in tandem we could solve problems. Normally, in most instances family doesn't work together on the borders, it's too easy as you well know to fight and have petty differences divide and provide a risk to everyone around us but we're an exception as of probably two hundred years ago when Haldir made the rank of Captain." he laughed lightly, "Rumil and I were merciless at first - I thought Lord Celeborn was going to murder all three of us and be less the count in his elites," he continued, "And yet, when there was a crisis, not a small one either, when a five mile stretch of our borders toward the Misty Mountains were attacked at once it was like something came alive in Haldir, Rumil and I'd never seen anything at all like it - he was ... exactly right for the position he was in. Granted, nobody at the time needed to know that it took Rumil and I three hours to get him to calm down when the casualty and injury report came in." Orophin shook his head slightly, "But that is why I think Lord Celeborn refuses to split us, Haldir's quick thinking, Rumil's clever and kind but don't be fooled when something matters he goes in full-force." he frowned slightly, "And I plan and strategize."

"That sounds a lot like all of us doesn't it, Des?" Kris' voice startled Destiny who jumped immediately becoming defensive.

"A little bit maybe," Destiny answered with an immediate distrust watching Kris carefully.

"Can I sit or are you going to push me off the bench like you used to when we were really little?" Kris asked as Orophin moved to stand on the opposite side of the bench from his brother both elves watching carefully.

"So long as you don't pinch me I guess it's okay." Destiny answered warily, watching through dark eyes as Kris sat.

"Look, we haven't had the best relationship in the last couple years, and I don't really know what happened - been having my brain picked by that elf lately and I can't figure out what happened between us, I mean I kind of know what happened with our respective twins but why's that got to include us?"

"Cause yours is a condescending, controlling witch?" Destiny answered tartly, her back already going up.

Kris blew out a breath and stifled the reflex to defend her twin, barely and it was clear she was uncomfortable, "Look, I don't want to fight with you and I'm tired of always getting yelled at when I don't agree with Willow on the stupidest shit. I've all but lost any relationship with Autumn over all this cause she pretty much runs for the hills unless its Raina cause of the fighting. I can't say I blame her anymore." Kris said quietly looking at Destiny, "Maybe if we start a truce we can at least get us on one page in the same book and get the others to come with us." her voice lowered as she cast a look at where Raina was sitting with her back to them, poring over what appeared to be a game board, "Besides if I keep pissing her off I'm gonna be the one pushing up the daisies and I wanna live."

"Well that I can kind of understand, really cause god that was embarrassing as hell knowing that if I reacted when she took back our ranks," Destiny's hurt at that showed through the calmer exterior noticing that the two elves sat on either side of them, "I want that back, damn it I earned it and cause I let myself get hip deep in shit with the one person who's second in the scary department to Mom, and whoo-boy I hope Raina never tells Mom."

"No shit, Mom'll murder all of us and tell Dad we died." Kris said with an uncomfortable laugh, "So we have at least a truce?"

"Yeah I'll call truce with you, since I think you were as stuck as I was." Destiny said with a wary smile, "Maybe if we work together we can find a way to at least get our ranks back and let those two hard-heads figure out their own way."

"With Raina," Kris winced shaking her head, "I haven't seen her that mad at all four of us in a long time its' gonna take work."

"As does anything worth having." Destiny answered with a grin, "Not afraid of a little hard, probably dirty work are you?"

"You should be aware," I heard the quiet murmur as Elrond moved the chess piece across the board toward my side of the board, "That two of your sisters are having what appears to be a very quiet, intense conversation, no don't turn around it appears that Orophin and Haldir have the situation well in hand in case a war starts."

"Interesting," I murmured countering his move as I listened to him speak in a low murmur, "any potential for bloodshed?"

"No, it appears they are coming to come sort of agreement," Elrond answered mildly smiling slightly as his fingers moved a bishop to threaten my king, "Check."

Within a few minutes the game was over, ended as I used a fingertip to tip the king over to its side smiling slightly, "Good game milord," I said mildly extending my hand slightly, "But I'm tired and we as a group have a long day ahead of us."

"Always a pleasure to play against you," Elrond's gaze was amused as he shook my hand once and by unspoken agreement, we began putting the board and pieces back into the travelling bag and I ducked into the tent and laid back on the sleeping roll that was placed inside for me, listening to the conversations going on.

It was a pleasant murmur just under my hearing to pick out words but there wasn't a lot of conflict, but for the quiet rumble to my left that sounded like it might've been Elrohir having another disagreement with Willow, which was no longer a surprise though at least if he was arguing with her that meant she wasn't ripping up any more bridges between the others.

I had drifted off; warm, comfortable and enjoying the more relaxed buzz of the people around me - being on the inner border of Rivendell seemed to have brought out the milder temperament of most everyone in which that meant I could rest more readily and certainly more easily. I heard the quiet discussion between two, and by their voices I realized they were elves, one being Elrond as it was his tent I was curled up in, and the other I didn't recognize at first.

"You are certain that you do not mind, that the three of us are spending our vacation weeks with you and yours in the lovely city of Imladris?" Haldir spoke calmly, "It is not an issue if you wish us to complete our task and return, you know this."

Elrond's voice was soft as well, and I heard in it the quiet amusement, "It is no difficulty to play host to three of Celeborn's finest guardsmen in need of a bit of vacation rest, even if I fear you will work harder with those young women than you ever do on the borders of Lothlorien."

"We are not afraid of a little hard work, and it is my hope to actually be able to have the three of us return to our duties restored, though I do feel compelled to warn you that perhaps the preparation for splitting the six of them may come, for I fear my brother's attention lingers more than casually as I initially thought."

"I am aware of that," Elrond's voice was calm, steady in fact more steady than mine would have been as I heard the growing fatigue, "And we will cross the bridge only when it comes, as well there will be a place in Imladris if that is the choice your brother makes."

There was a hesitation as I rolled trying to not wake up and didn't quite manage that sighing as I looked up at the ceiling of the tent with a soft sigh muttering as I knew in an instant I wasn't going to be able to return to sleep, and I looked back at the cool blue eyes peering around Elrond at me, "No, you two didn't wake me I have been trying to fall back asleep for awhile, I just didn't feel like trying to get up."

"It is very late you should be soundly sleeping." I heard the protest from the paler elf and smirked once faintly.

"Yeah should be is the operative part of that sentence," I yawned and sat up raking my hands through my hair trying to either clear my head enough to be truly awake or relax enough for sleep again, "But that's not here or over there."

"Here or there," Elrond murmured shaking his head at Haldir's unspoken question, "We were just discussing a bit the conversation between two of your sisters."

"Which two again?" I asked pulling the blanket up around my legs as I sat up fully feeling my brain clear of the buzzing tiredness as I did.

"Kristina and Destiny are well on their way to at least a truce, if not a rebuild of their friendship." Haldir explained, "Orophin and I have spent a lot of their free time when you didn't have them otherwise detained or Destiny spending time with her children and husband trying to sort out if they're truly part of the bigger issue or if their parts are a subset of the bigger issue."

"And your assessment is?" I yawned slightly as Elrond passed me one of the nearby flasks, this one contained water that I took a small sip of holding onto the flask for the time being.

"It is our belief, after individual discussions and our debate privately - just Orophin and I that their issue stems from the bigger issue between Nichole and Willow." Haldir said easily as I tilted my head remembering Nikki's explanation.

"That jives what I would have guessed," I said thoughtfully, "I hope Elrohir comes up with a plan to get to the root of Willow's side of it before there is nothing left to build with between her and Nikki."

Elrond nodded thoughtfully and I realized belatedly that his hand rested on my leg, a gesture as familiar as Jason's arm around Destiny's shoulders, "For now I think our best course of action is to let Elrohir handle the matter in own way, as it sounds like everything else is starting to figure out what it was you really wanted them to learn, Raina."

"They all possess the lesson I want them to learn inside of them," I nodded softly, "It is up to them whether or not they choose to follow through with it."

"You really are a bit of a tough nut aren't you?" Haldir studied me curiously, "Of course with five of them coming up behind me, I think I'd be pretty tough too."

I smiled faintly, "I love them, each of them in their own way, same as I always have I just want them to get along so that when - heavens forbid I want to take a day and do what I want I don't have to worry if they've set fire to half a city block or something."

"I can understand your reluctance to be out of reach, yet perhaps that will be the thing which convinces them to be more cooperative than not and agreeable to each other while you are away." Haldir spoke mildly as the sun rose higher, "I fear we will be heading to the main grounds in about two hours or so, would either of you like a chance lay down and rest for that duration?"

"I am well, though you and Raina both should, it will be a long day with the amount of people that need to be shown the paths, though I am sure that everyone looks forward to having a warm bath and a well deserved full meal." Elrond said gesturing for Haldir to exit the tent. "I mean it," he said firmly glancing at me after I stayed sitting upright watching him, "It will be a long enough day as tired of riding as you surely are and being without rest will only shorten your temper."

I sighed and glared at him and shook my head at him, knowing that the elf had a point as much as I disliked it, "Okay and what do I get for playing nice and not deciding to waste time arguing this out?"

Elrond's eyebrow raised as he paused from reaching for a book out of his travelling bag and the look was pure mischief before he leaned close to whisper softly a set of words that even at my age, and knowledge sent me to blushing as I had a suspicion that it was no taunt, but a lingering promise...


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter Forty-Six

"Well aren't you hot shit now?" I heard the venomous hiss and glanced up at my sister over the rim of a mug of coffee several mornings into adjusting to the routine of Rivendell, "No wonder you don't criticize Nikki's actions you're just as guilty."

I smiled thinly, knowing that the late nights since returning to Rivendell had been steeped in reading, and assisting in settling in the unlikely band of siblings whether they knew it or not, "I'm assuming you believe I've wronged you in some way here that I was unaware of." I stated mildly placing the mug of coffee on the nearby table to avoid the temptation of wasting it by throwing it in her face.

Willow slithered into the chair and lowered her voice even as I picked up on the light sound of elven-feet on the marble and the irate glare in grey eyes told me that the wretch had slipped his reach, "You're just as bad as Nikki, no wonder she turned out as she did."

I began laughing despite myself and glared at Willow for a moment, folding my hands on the table speaking without emotion, "First, my bedroom's my business I'm a big girl who's been wearing the big-girl panties since before you were a squiggly sperm in your daddy's testicles so if I want to start an affair - which by the way hasn't happened at this stage since I only just figured out what the hell happened to me during my last stay in elf-land - it's really none of your business until or unless I make it your business which I probably won't since you've become a hateful, judgmental spoiled little witch." I drew in a deep breath and narrowed my eyes, "And the next time you call any of our sisters any of those lovely little names, Willow Rainn," I lowered my voice and glared at her, "I will personally beat the ever-loving hell out of you wherever you stand and forbid even Elrohir from helping you further."

"You could try," Willow sneered as Elrohir's hand snaked up under the back of her hair and I saw the muscles in his arm tighten, "But you'd lose."

"I wouldn't bet on that," I remarked as his hand tightened and I knew he had her by both the neck and the hair at the same time and smiled brightly up at him, "Good morning, Elrohir I trust your rest was sufficient?"

"Good morning, Miss Raina." he answered congenially as he tilted Willow's head so that she had to look up at him, "Good morning, Willow." he said smiling in such a way that I was very much reminded of the his father when piqued, revealing that he had heard most of the exchange, "Do you ladies mind company or is this a ladies-only conversation." he inquired innocently his words addressing both but grey eyes held mine.

"Please, do join us I've nothing to say to her that I would not say publicly." I answered picking up my mug again, "Seems that the same issues she has with Nikki have spread like fire in brush."

"Oh you mean that not-thing you have with my father." Elrohir said smiling as he helped himself to a mug of steaming water and began preparing a tea for himself shaking his head, "I, for one don't understand the hang-up you're both adults for one thing."

"To be honest, I'm pretty much done with this bullshit," I answered holding his gaze and decided something, "Deal with it and her in any way that ends it, I'm fed up with trying to simultaneously calm Nikki while diffusing her temper before something explodes and I get caught in the blast radius, which would end badly for everyone."

"You're so full of it," Willow sneered, which ended in a grimace as my foot lashed out sharply and landed in the soft spot just under the kneecap, "What was that for?"

"For being rude," I retorted taking a sip of my coffee, "You start with me first thing in the morning and dislike being told that you're being a brat, which you are." I continued irritably, "And I'm on my first cup of coffee do you have a death wish or are you just stupid?"

"I am not stupid!" Willow almost shouted shooting to her feet only to slam back into her chair with Elrohir's strong yank on her neck her fury turning on him as she ripped herself free, "Keep your filthy, stupid hands off me."

Elrohir moved with a quickness that was not betrayed in his frequently loose-limbed posture that had Willow curled and bent in such a position that even I winced under my impassive expression, reminding myself that I had not five minutes before let him have my agreement to deal with her because I didn't dare. In the span of about five seconds he had Willow's body bent and twisted so that the only way she was going to move was if he permitted her to the pose looked damned uncomfortable, his words a low growl that I had to strain to hear from my seat less than six feet away, "First, you will not shout in my house. Second you will apologize for being rude and last you will sit down, shut up and eat your breakfast without saying anything else that is rude, or inconsiderate lest ye endure far worse than this position."

I couldn't hear the answer but apparently it was whatever he wanted to hear, as Willow was permitted to get into her former seat and by the sullen expression I saw, much as Elrohir did that she longed to say something but didn't dare. "If anyone needs me today I'm going to be invading Erestor's library and picking up on some of my reading," I said looking between them as the tension there was clear - Elrohir's temper was on full burn and Willow's was too which to me meant getting the hell out of Dodge before Dodge blew up.

Elrohir nodded, "I wish you good fortune in your reading, seems my plan to show Willow a few of the paths got moved up a few days so we'll be out for the majority of the day possibly more depending on how things go." he didn't add aloud _Primarily depends on how badly she pisses me off on my own territory._

"Shall I pass the message to your father?" I asked innocently, and truly didn't realize what that sounded like until afterwards and the slight smirk on his lips told me he caught the same thought.

"If you like, by now I'm pretty sure he's in his study, as last I heard there were no emergencies that required his hand for healing."

"Sure," I answered mildly, helping myself to some of the fresh pastries that had been set on the center of the table during our discussion by one of the servants, this time a sugar-dusted doughy thing that was as good as the raspberry strudel I noticed on the tray, "I need to relearn my way around anyway."

"Sounds lovely," Elrohir caught a servant's attention and for a moment the conversation was fluid enough and low enough that I didn't catch all that he said but it was abundantly clear from what I had understood of the rapid-fire elvish that he had certainly lost the remainder of his patience with my sister. I almost felt badly for her, almost until I remembered the desolation in Nikki's face every time the mistakes of the past were thrown in her face.

A few minutes later they made their excuses to me, or rather Elrohir did and I took that chance to head to the corridor which lead to Elrond's study to pass Elrohir's message along and perhaps steal a few minutes before the chaos of the day for him began for myself...

Fifteen minutes or so later I arrived, coffee mug in hand at Elrond's study where already I could hear the cadence of two elven voices rising and falling in mild debate as I approached the study door, still half surprised at myself that I could find the location so easily. I didn't want to be rude and just walk in so I paused in the open doorway and knocked one interrupting their work met with a set of cool dark eyes a pleased, surprised pair of grey eyes. "You are up earlier than I would expect, is everything all right?" Elrond inquired as I raised the mug of coffee to my lips.

"Oh, I'm good I'm just being your son's messenger. Elrohir asked me to inform you that he and Willow will be out of the main grounds the better part of the next two days at the minimum, he was a bit.. disgruntled this morning."

"Already?" Elrond sounded faintly surprised as he waved me inside where I could lower my voice, "Do I want to know in which manner his pique was provoked?" he inquired offering me a spare seat in the study, usually for guests.

"I'm pretty sure he's more piqued that she insulted me before I finished my first cup of coffee than anything else." I answered mildly curling up in the offered chair with a faint smile, "A mistake I hope she thinks twice before repeating."

A dark eyebrow rose slightly, as Erestor murmured an excuse to vacate the room, a glance informed me that he was probably going to get a pot of water and pastries, which meant I would have a few minutes to tell him the rest of it, "And exactly how did she manage that feat?"

"Depends, on which version you want to hear, the polite version I will give my other sisters to explain her absence or the one that is rather unvarnished?"

"From you, given that there is no one else nearby to hear, the unvarnished answer," he sighed placing the parchment he had just picked back on the desktop and studied my face with interest.

I finished the last sip of my coffee before answering him trying to find a way which wasn't completely crude or rude to explain what had so offended both myself and Elrohir, "On a personal level I'm deeply offended that I was informed oh so indelicately that I'm a whore," at his confused look I clarified, "Where they're from that is defined by someone who offers their person for coin, belongings or favor with or from another."

His brow furrowed for a moment, so briefly that had I not been looking directly at him so as to hold his gaze that I would have missed it before the insult both on my behalf and his own flooded his features, "I have never, ever asked nor expected anything of that nature from anyone, least of all one of you!"

"Hey, you're almost yelling at the choir here, pal." I retorted placing a hint of frost in my voice as I glared at him, "I never said you did, nor would I - and if you did I can guarantee you I'm going to give you directions on how your prized stallion got to the mare with diagrams and big color sketches!"

Elrond waved the hesitating Erestor back into the room accepting the tray from him with a slight, forced smile, "Would you object my friend if we continued our work later today, or tomorrow I am loathe to leave this discussion with Raina at the point it is now?"

"Of course, I can take some of it and work from my desk down the hall if you have any need of my assistance," Erestor was a bit too agreeable to the idea for my taste but, if it let Elrond and I clear the air completely it wasn't something I wasn't going to argue about with either one. He clearly knew which rolled scrolls he wanted as he grabbed each of them and left closing the study door behind him.

"I am sorry for my reaction," he said moving to sit in the chair closest to mine his expression sincere as were his emotions, "I cannot fathom anyone, let alone kin to think of that about another person, no matter how little I liked them."

"Well I think Willow's got some serious hang-ups in that department that need to come into the light before something really bad happens, and that I do not even want to consider." I sat back against the chair and smiled faintly, "I did not mean to interrupt your morning."

"Those papers aren't going anywhere," he pointed out with a small smile, "they will be there whether I get to them today or tomorrow or the day after, forever there will always be something that I have to get done, Raina my schedule is fortunately very flexible when I choose to make it be."

"Must be nice to make your own schedule, I have five children - all them grown and I'm still babysitting." I remarked mildly looking at him, "Even if right now they all seem to have their own babysitters."

"I can make my schedule any way I want that does not mean that my responsibilities are ever any less," He countered quietly.

"Yeah I know that one, there was a point in time I was beginning to think I'd never get a minute of quiet to myself," I answered mildly reaching habitually for my mug forgetting that it was empty.

"Here," he said reaching for the pot of warm water, "Let's get you on cup two for the day before you accidentally scare some poor soul shall we?" he said picking up the mug and beginning to prepare a second mug of coffee for the morning.

"Scared I might step on your toes there, Elrond?" I asked mildly as he continued preparing the mug yawning a bit despite the recent caffeine jolt.

"My toes are completely safe from you, it is the feelings of others I was thinking of." he replied mildly placing the mug in my hands gently leaving his wrapped around them to help reacquaint my system with the fact that being touched, even casually wasn't all that bad. "You are having nightmares again." he said firmly the tone brooking little room for argument.

"At times," I admitted quietly, "Usually at the very early hours of the night, and it's okay I'm learning to cope with everything mostly by just letting it alone."

He settled into the chair keeping one of my hands still in his frowning slightly, "That's not going to help in the long term, you know this - I know you do we've discussed Camtamin before not in detail but we have talked about the way he made you feel before."

"I'm not sorry he's dead," I said softly, "I think I should be - I mean you cut to the wire of it Elrond good bad and ugly he was still my father, and I'm not the least bit sorry he's gone, and so relieved that I don't have to worry about him ever coming after me or any of the girls, or their families." I sighed once and lifted the mug to my lips, "We'll talk about what happened in that cave when I am sure that when I let myself have the meltdown I know is coming from it." I looked at him not quite able to control the tremble of nerves and anxiety that I felt in relation to that idea.

"When you are prepared for that particular journey, I will ensure that I can devote my entire focus to what you need, for I will not deny that it would be a difficult and painful time, Raina and it is not a path you need walk alone."

I nodded resting my head on the back of the seat, "Should I let you get to your work that way you don't leave a mountain for Erestor when it comes down to it I'm afraid that I'm not going to get a lot of choice when that crashes on my head."

"When you need me, I will be able to be found," he said quietly, watching me carefully for a few moments, "Why don't you see if you can't take one of the riding paths around the city and get to know your home." he suggested gently, "or one of the walking paths if you're not ready to go riding again so soon."

I offered a small smile, "I may just stay to the garden paths, have a pleasant morning, Lord Elrond and I will see you at mid-day or later on I am sure."


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter Forty-Seven

"Do you seriously enjoy pissing off everyone in your own family?" Elrohir asked without ire or amusement in his voice, "Particularly since you succeeded quite effortlessly with Raina this morning."

"Please, if that really hurt her then maybe she's got a guilty conscience."

"Willow," there was a hint of aggravation in Elrohir's voice as he stopped walking and put his hands on her shoulders, "You really need to lay off of them, before someone truly does step on you and I won't always be there to stop them. You do realize," he said quietly and a bit angrily, "I'm the sole reason you didn't get seriously hurt today." he turned head so that she had no recourse but to meet his gaze with her own angry ones, "What is it really that bothers you so much about anyone else being happy, are you really that unhappy in here," he poked the place over her heart gently cocking his head to the side, "That you have to make them as miserable as you feel?"

Willow scowled at him as she batted his hand away, "No, I just don't understand why everyone's going bed-hopping like a bunch of hooligans I mean really - I never figured Raina for that sort of nonsense."

Elrohir cocked his head to the side and sighed deeply "Have you any idea, little one what it costs your sister, in this case Raina to be close to anyone at all?" he held up his hand to quiet her words stepping to one of the boulders and gave her no option but to use his leg for a seat as he had the only suitable one for himself, "Do you at all?" he repeated looking at her, "You think everyone else has it so easy - poor poor Willow all alone in a big scary world." he spat contemptuously glaring at her, "Here's a news bulletin for you, spoiled brat life's just not fair to anyone it's what you make of the pieces you get that makes a difference." he resisted the urge to shake her, "It's not all about you and it never was, and for everyone you continue to hurt you're going to matter less and less."

"Not like I ever mattered to anyone anyway." she sulked at him folding her arms over her chest, "They all just shut out Kris and me anyway and now she's done turned on me too."

"I find that hard to believe," Elrohir returned keeping her trapped as he knew he was getting to the uncomfortable zone in her psyche a bit at a time and doggedly pushed onward, "If you didn't matter it wouldn't hurt them you've been as rude as a spoiled child, the difference is unlike a stranger they love you to the point they'll forgive you and let you keep doing it." he paused and shook his head, "You're jealous of the attention the younger three received from Raina, and from I would guess your adoptive parents to the point that you helped the situation with Nikki along didn't you when that first child was born, quite a cruel thing to do."

"And she still came up roses!" Willow half shouted at him, "Four years later and they're back together and creating more wouldn't be surprised if that's all she does is trap him with more and more kids - how do you know that Mandy is even his she was so busy sleeping around back then..." Elrohir's hand covered her mouth cutting off her words.

"It doesn't matter if that girl belongs biologically to your sister's husband." he said darkly, "What matters is that little girl has a father in her life that loves her - which by the way he adores her from what I've seen as much as he adores his wife." Elrohir shook his head as he felt her jaw move and the warning was pure ice, "If you dare bite me I will not be held accountable for what I do in return. And I would dare." he said more than able to see the expression in her eyes of 'you wouldn't dare', "More important no one would stop me." when she stopped fighting him the lightly callused hand lowered and he waited to see her answer.

"Well maybe it should matter, I mean who really wants to be married to someone like that?" she spat angrily wiping at her mouth.

"Why do you have such a grudge damn it?" he demanded grabbing her chin so that she had to look him in the eyes when she tried to jerk her head free, "What did that girl ever do to you that made you hate her as though she were the animal matter on the bottom of your shoe?" he conceded to himself that half of his anger at her was the fact he was fond of Nikki's spirited nature and the genuinely affectionate way she treated her children, and husband.

"Even you - you're on her side too!" she was outraged and Elrohir this time didn't resist the urge to shake her once sharply cutting off the tirade.

"Let me be clear, I don't have an emotional stake in anyone's happiness but my family's - which includes my father's." he lowered his voice which only added a level of danger to it which Willow did recognize for it, "And if you continue to jeopardize that I will continue to land all over you verbally and physically until such time as you cease to be that kind of threat. Whatever did Nikki do to you - havens woman!" he swore furiously, "Do you even remember anymore or are you so wrapped up in your hate and anger that you forgot what it was?"

"It doesn't matter if I do or what it was anymore! What matters is she's become Mrs. Perfect and she's gone and turned everyone against me." Willow snapped at him as the elf shook his head.

"You're consumed with hatred for others, but I think the root is in you. What is it about yourself you are so miserable with?" he shifted tactics partly because he saw that she was growing more and more defensive with the passing minutes and partly because he enjoyed the expressions she made when uncomfortable.

"Nothing, I'm absolutely happy with myself!" she shot up and to her dismay and frustration he had her in his grip again with a close one bringing them nose to nose as he resisted the urge to shake her again.

"No, you are not." Elrohir said in a tone so soft Willow almost didn't hear him, "but you will be before I'm done with you since unfortunately Ms. Priss your sister turned you over to me which means you're stuck." he said beginning to grow comfortable with the task, particularly since he didn't have to worry what Raina would think of his actions. "I might have use for you after all." he mused aloud betting himself fifty coin he would get the response of indignation and anger.

"Oh hell no I'm not interested in being your bed-bunny you can just go find someone else." Willow snapped at him so automatically that Elrohir's barking laugh echoed in the clearing even as he flicked her nose causing an irate shriek to escape her lips as they remained nose to nose.

"Had I thought it would be a wise idea it would have already happened," Elrohir said sweetly, "But honestly spoiled brats do zilch for my libido I prefer mature adults." he ended in the same tart tone she had used with him.

_Well there popped that bubble._ Willow thought sarcastically to herself as he spun them so that she would have to walk in front of him, _Great now what._ she fumed as they headed deeper into the wilderness around the city.

Neither of them truly planned what would happen, did happen in fact as he steered the difficult woman into the woods, his steps far more sure than hers as they came to a clearing he tensed suddenly, aware of the danger that suddenly arose.

"Elrohir?" there was a tremble of fear in her voice as Willow tried to be quiet, "What's wrong?"

"Quiet," he admonished hurriedly as he sought to locate the origin of the sound that had alerted him to trouble, no matter how annoyed or angry he was with Willow there was no way he wasn't going to help her out of a situation.

Trouble came in a strong wave of orcs from all directions and he emitted a trilling, sharp whistle as he turned trying to back Willow into a strategically safe position and hissed as there wasn't one.

"Um, was this part of the plan? Scaring the hell out of me?" Willow muttered trembling despite herself as the orcs seemed to be circling for an opportunity it attack.

"No, " Elrohir answered tartly as he spun to launch an attack of one to twelve or thirteen with a short blade that Willow hadn't even realized he had on his person and within a moment two were down, and she had to defend herself hand-to hand all while dodging the blades of the orcs. "Be careful!" he half shouted at her over the din as Willow narrowly missed being cut deeply by a blade.

It had been years since Willow had truly wished to have access properly to her Ranger gear - most of the time she didn't miss the skintight spandex-type protective suits in purple or the helmets but the weapons would have been really handy right then as she ducked and slipped on the grass uttering a shriek as she fell. Within seconds she was surrounded when as suddenly as she'd fallen Elrohir appeared behind them and first one fell and then a second as Willow tried to get out of the warpath as frightened as she was no amount of fear-driven adrenaline was a match for the brute strength of the orcs. Thinking there was a hole in the circle, Willow tried to duck past them when the excruciating pain of an orc-blade ramming into her shoulder sending her backwards, falling as she tried to simultaneously stop him from killing her and slow the blood flow.

Elrohir turned in time to see her fall backwards and Willow's ragged sob of pain increased his fury to kill them quickly and as the last fell he had already abandoned his attackers to check on the woman, "Willow?" he asked trying to catch her attention and swore colorfully as he saw her shoulder. "Come on, there will be more." he said reaching for her hand when he realized how bloody she was, "And we have to get that taken care of." he said realizing suddenly that they were too far for Willow to safely return to Rivendell for treatment and decided to push on to one of the camps that he and Elladan frequently used.

As she stumbled, Willow looked up through blurry, tear-filled eyes to see Elrohir wrap an arm around her shoulder, "Come on, I'll do what I can and we'll head back to the city tomorrow." he said firmly supporting her weight with his side, "I don't dare try today not with your shoulder so we're going to be at least a day."

"But..."

'No buts about it." Elrohir said resolutely, as she lurched forward partly from the adrenaline let down, "You need to have that wound cleaned, dressed and a few hours sleep and food."

Willow didn't have the energy to fight with him, not when it was taking every bit of energy and focus not to go under again, "Tired," she muttered reluctantly gripping his shoulder to balance herself.

"I know," Elrohir said soothingly, "You have to stay awake," he insisted as her eyes closed and then flickered open, "At least until we get there," he pointed about fifty yards away where a cave sat up over a creek bed.

"Kay," her answer was distant this time which meant that Elrohir had precious minutes in which to get her inside, start a fire and get the shirt out of his way to see the actual wound.

Those precious minutes were not wasted, as he half-carried her along the last yards and sat her on the pile of blankets that Elrohir was silently thankful that he and Elladan regularly stayed in the cave during their orc hunts and thus everything was still reasonably stocked. He focused on getting a fire started in the small pit they'd made in the cave and glared tiredly at the darkening skyline - rain. Once there was a fire glowing in the pit he squatted before the dazed woman, lifting her chin to see her eyes, "Now we come to a moment you're not going to like," he said slowly letting her understand every word, his tone non-confrontational but firm as her eyes crossed at him, "Stay with me on this," he said sternly as her head rolled, her hand bloody from the constant pressure on her shoulder, "Or don't." he mused as she blacked out, he guessed strongly because of the adrenaline drop and it coupled with the loss of blood catching her behind the neck and sighed shaking his head, "Well at least something good might come of this little misadventure," he muttered to himself as he set about removing the soiled shirt to see just what the wound actually was.

And ugly was an understatement, he decided setting the soiled shirt aside and set about cleaning the wound carefully, using a clean cloth from the supplies. He was patient with it, knowing that orc blades were among the filthiest in the known world and improper cleaning begged infection, which could happen no matter how clean a wound might have been. He had seen that before too, a man die because of an infected wound.

Within an hour he had her tucked into the blankets securely away from the growing evening chill and closed the heavy fur that he and Elladan had spent the majority of a winter years before making to act as a door to it keeping out the elements. In this case it was aimed to keep out the evening cold that was quickly approaching. He looked forward to and dreaded the moment the woman would awaken, one part to know how strong to make the pain medication and partly to show exactly what both of them were made of.

Part of him felt a great deal of pity for her - the hole she had dug was her own doing and all it had done instead of pull everyone to her was to alienate everyone from her. It was not what she had wanted, and it was truly too bad because her actions were directly affecting several others in her family not least the destruction of Nikki's self-confidence. The quiet of her sleeping left Elrohir time to think and brood as he prepared a stew not knowing that the clouds overhead gathered to drop a rolling storm that would come in a few hours before dawn.

_"Is she all right?" Elladan's concern was apparent as they met their father outside Raina's room, where Elrond had been sitting for several hours; answering questions, soothing fears and quietly assessing Raina's well-being._

_ Elrond sighed and directed them away from her rooms smiling wearily as they arrived at the living area designated specifically for family only use, heading to the assembled decanters and poured himself a glass of whiskey, something precious and rare even in Rivendell for it came from the deep South and Elrond had little fondness for the men of Gondor before sitting down by the fire, another tell that he was troubled. "No, I do not think so."_

_ "What can we do?" Elladan, the forever problem-solver was at their father's side first circling to one side while Elrohir took the other perching as they had as boys on the arm of the chair._

_ "Keep the children busy," Elrond said quietly, "busy not fighting with each other, busy working on their issues and for the love of the Valar keep Willow and Nikki out of the same room unless it's a meal and even then keep them separate."_

_ "They're killing her, almost as much as what that bastard did," there was leashed temper in Elladan's voice, "Not physically but mentally and emotionally its destruction."_

_ "Yes." Elrond's voice was quiet, almost sad as he took a sip of the glass and shuddered looking into the fire for a long minute, "I do not want to watch this again," he said in a low murmur, knowing that the boys had suffered along with him when their mother had been physically healed but her mind and soul had not._

_ "We know," Elladan said using the same soothing tone that Elrond had with them stroking a hand through the dark hair at Elrond's temple, "What can we do to help you?"_

_ "I repeat myself in this; mind the children, keep them separate, and away from Raina for the love of the Valar if they cannot pretend to be nice. That woman's nerves are past shot and she's hiding it from them because she's the only one they'll all listen to because for all their bullying she's better at it."_

_ "No, she's like you." Elrohir disagreed gently smiling at Elrond, "Quiet, but deadly and fiercely loyal."_

_ Elrond smiled wanly and finished the drink in his hand cradling the glass in the palm of one hand, watching the fire glance off of the crystal. "She's slipping away, not so much yet that if one isn't a healer or looking for it that one won't see it but I can..."_

_ "Well yeah, you can, Father you're counted as the most esteemed healer this side of the White Shores." Elladan said gently whereas from Elrohir it would have been sarcasm, "And you see it because of your own feelings, and sensitivity to it."_

_ Elrond's weak smile was all the incentive that the two of them needed, the glint in Elladan's eyes was enough knowing that the same was in his own, 'Elrohir,' he heard his twins thoughts as clearly as he did his own, 'We have to fix this, we'll have a meeting with the others after he settles down. "Father," Elrohir coaxed gently, "Go take a hot shower, try to relax your strength she needs while hers stumbles."_

_ Reluctantly he left his sons sitting on the arms of his own preferred chair unaware of what the two were already working on between them in silence, using each other's thoughts as a sort of springboard, aiming to save at least one, preferably more of the six of them..._

Hours passed and the thunder rolled and cracked overhead jarring Elrohir out of his thoughts and his first aware thought was to check on Willow, who was thankfully still sleeping, unaware of his task to start her shoulder to the mend. There was no fever-fire to her forehead thankfully, which raised the chances of being able to head to Rivendell for further treatment the next day.

That is, Elrohir swore softly to himself as the rain came down in thick sheets of water, if the rain allows for it.

"So this is where you hide when no one can find you - or anyone who knows won't tell." Autumn said from my left as the rain beat down on the roof overhead.

"I have long had a great deal of pleasure in reading, Autumn I simply rarely had a chance to indulge it until coming to Rivendell, what can I help you with?"

"Can I ask some advice on something I don't know who else to ask?" she inquired cautiously smiling a bit as I gestured for her to sit on the arm of the chair.

"I'll give you the best answer I know how," I answered as she perched on the arm her foot dangling over the opposite thigh, "What's on your mind?"

"Well, gosh this is really embarrassing since I don't even know what I'm trying to ask." she began anxiously as I put my hand on hers enjoying her surprise that there wasn't a jolt of pain up either of our arms. "Well you know, cause Willow can't keep her damn mouth shut, about how much time I've spent around Rumil and I really rather like it. " she stumbled along her words and I waited, patiently for her to come to what she was really asking, "And I don't want any trouble, about what I do I mean, like my business." she blushed and despite myself I laughed quietly and peered up at her.

_This is a time I really miss your parents._ I mused a moment, _Sticking me with the shit work, but at least I get to see the flower that grows in the manure pile._ "I think I understand what you're trying to ask and the answer is, that there is no right answer, only the answer which makes you happy. If spending time with Rumil, learning and having someone to talk to that isn't one of us, honey you're not hurting anyone and I haven't heard him complain about it," I pointed out with a soft chuckle, "And if it becomes something more, then I say enjoy yourself, what honestly are you hurting?" I asked mildly, "Other than Willow's overdeveloped sense of judgment and criticism and I think that's caused her to bite off more than she can chew after the backwards slap at Lord Elrond."

"Just what is the deal there? I mean you don't like do the whole relationship-intimacy thing." Autumn asked cautiously knowing exactly how to bring up that topic.

"Under most circumstances no, I don't." I answered with an uncomfortable look, "I'm still figuring out if I even like the idea of a maybe-kind of- probably is thing that's going on as it is. There's no getting around the attraction - the village idiot would see that much, and feel it too since both of us have the same talent."

She nodded slightly, "Yeah, I noticed it but I didn't want you getting upset by me bringing it up so I was going to leave it alone. Maybe you ought to try the same thing you told me and just enjoy the ride."

"Yeah I probably should, since I think I'm getting pulled down it kicking and screaming anyway."

"Yeah, pretty much you know that don't you? Seems to me that he's pretty sensible, and persistent enough to outlast even your quirks since I think he was well on his way to that anyway."

"You know, maybe we ought to both travel down that scary bunny trail and see what comes of it." I mused quietly as she laughed.

"I'll brave the big blue wilderness if you do it," Autumn made me laugh with her words, laughing quietly as I nodded in agreement, "Good, then I'm going to let you get back to your book and please don't skip dinner and leave me with the loons."

"I won't." I promised her just as she was heading toward the door catching the cheerful, much more cheerful bound to her step. "What did I just sign up for?" I wondered aloud picking up my book again.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter Forty-Eight

The second full day of rain left almost everyone in grouchy, irritable moods which compounded my own case of the serious grouchies as my sister so affectionately dubbed my not-quite foul mood but definitely not my sunshine mellow moods. It did not help that the children all had the sniffles from the rain, which meant that the silliest things triggered their tempers and caused meltdowns from all four of them. Because of my irritability I had skipped breakfast at the main table and opted for pastries and coffee off of the sideboard and retreated from my room.

However, that also meant that I wasn't going to avoid the table at lunch. This was an exercise in patience that I truly did not have. However, clearly someone wanted to live because within two minutes of my arrival at the table, a steaming cup of sweet, strong coffee was sitting by my hand. The least thing agitated the children, which was detrimental to my frayed temper. For instance Elrond actually rose from his place at the head of the table to rise to close a window that Mandy had been complaining repeatedly, and trying my patience immensely, that it was cold because it was open to let fresh air in since it was not raining into that particular window. He paused on his way back behind me to murmur a soft set of teasing words that had my heart racing and a small fight to have the outward blush to match my heart rate not show on my face.

I had actually to focus at this though I strongly suspected that at the very least Glorfindel and Erestor were aware of it given that I caught the former hiding a smile behind a sip of his water glass. What I did not know, at that time was that my incidental reaction had been interpreted as a kind of challenge.

What complicated matters that much more than I realized until the middle of the second day, was that Elrond was a master at the art of subtle teasing torture so much so that he was able to do some of it directly under the observant eyes of my sisters. That is not to say that I did not catch a few knowing looks cast between the eldest of the elves, and the questioning gaze of the remaining of his sons to which Elrond had merely raised his glass slightly and the look was feigned innocence that clearly the elder twin did not believe but wisely, let it drop. Interestingly, though was the fact that attention was kept from being focused on that end of the table, which seemed to be a silent agreement between the other elves, to keep my sisters all distracted what little the children were not.

It was dessert that evening, clearly that he had pulled the stop out on for my mood, particularly since I knew it was not the night normally that the chef made the chocolate decadence that had all but melted me the last time I had had it. It was underhanded and sneaky - and appreciated as the chocolate based dessert did much to diffuse my grouchy mood, only afterward did I catch on to the teasing sort of game that he was beginning, but not to the depth did I realize he would go.

And that was okay too, I decided later that evening, he wanted to play I could play I wasn't as young as my sisters and I had seen the dance a time or two, though I had a feeling that this was one elf that played for keeps and my heart was on the line, and I wasn't sure I was really completely ready to let that go even to an elf I was reasonably sure that would not break it.

On the second morning a random scribe brought to me an unsigned three-line poem in a handwriting I did recognize as Elrond's and it was sweet enough that I had to admit he was off to a fair start and the scribe did not offer any real clues, though it was entirely probable that he had been asked by someone other than Elrond himself or had been ordered not to say anything.

Later in that evening a box of the chef's finest mini pastries and in the center a prize unto itself, and I wondered who had spilled the news that I had a deadly weakness for mint-chocolate truffles to the chef, or more accurately what the price to find out a dessert weakness was. However, that curiosity wasn't going to stop me from indulging on the first of the delicious four of them as I wandered out onto my personal balcony.

Though the subtle tease, at every meal was almost enough to test my self control and reserve on its own. It varied meal to meal, never the same sort twice in a row, the soft murmur of a tease or a touch along my hand or thigh casual to the unobservant eye but to the ones I realized were helping him were able to catch the meaning behind all of them.

Nikki had clearly been conscripted to help, partly because she was one of my preferred sounding boards, sticking her head in several days into the sensual 'war' between Elrond and I. "Hey, you have a minute so I can bring this in?" she asked showing me the large box.

"_Et tu_, eh" I muttered to myself and waved her in then closed the door behind her, "Well since you're here who conned you into being the delivery girl?"

"Just the seamstress who looked awful pleased with herself, and more so I was eager to get away from her before she decides I need another dress to ruin running after the kids." she studied me and put her hand on my shoulder as I reached to take the lid off of the box, "Is everything okay I mean you and Lord Elrond are both acting a little off, well more off than normal."

"I'm fine, why?" I asked moving aside the pile of light green filmy paper and lifted the first surprise, a finely woven velvet gown - it was far too well made and it was clearly made by expert hands the color a deep blue that shone as if with stars, at the neck, cuffs and hemline was embroidered with shining silver and gold thread.

"Oh wow, Raina that's ..." she trailed off as I spotted something else in the papers. "oh hell," she said taking the velvet gown out of my hands so that I could go digging for what else I had seen inside of it.

I was momentarily stunned, something Elrond seemed to be excelling at creating the sensation that left me unable to form even my trademark sarcastic comments as I lifted the folded fabric out of the box feeling the silky material sliding along my fingers as I lifted it. I looked at the material and the cut of it and blinked more than half shocked.

"Wow, I mean hell if I wore anything even close to that in anywhere near Tommy and it's not going to survive the night," Nikki said more than a bit enviously, "And someone's clearly sending a message there too." she said putting her hand between the diaphanous layers of the emerald silk the outline of it just visible, "And I have to say he knows just how to fit your nature sis." she eyed me slightly and frowned a small bit as I set the silk aside to check the rest of it, "Is there something going on that I don't know about here or did I not read a memo?" she asked as I sat down more than a bit shocked at the most recent box.

I tore my gaze from the box contents and to Nikki blinking, "Pardon?"

"Oh honey," Nikki laughed lightly sitting down beside me "you've got it bad, what's more so does he I think. I hope you'll be forgiving if I decide I just want to get to sit back and enjoy this one?"

I nodded mutely as my attention flipped back to the recent present, "I really don't know what to do about this I mean its... flattering, and all that..."

"Enjoy it, isn't that what you told Autumn?" she pointed out gently, "and when you're ready to walk into it full-force wear that dress, one its beautiful and its going to fit you like nothing else ever has" she said touching the sleeve to the velvet gown, "and you should consider it very carefully because it's an all or nothing round for you both."

"Yeah there's just one problem, Nikki I'm already about one foot in it and the other's going to go in just because I got to balance, and I have one big issue, I'm not okay with the fact that he is - was? hell I don't know what it is considered - married. I won't step into that can't it wouldn't be honorable."

"Oh, honey that is what this streak of stubbornness is about? Ask him, it's the best thing you can do before your heart involves itself anymore than it already has because, sweetheart I don't think I could stand you heartsick like you were back in California." she said gently, "Let him have his fun, with this seduction he's going for and maybe you'll have your answer." she finished getting to her feet and hugged me, "Think about it at least okay, please and truly... don't run away from something that makes you happier than I've ever seen you." she finished and slipped out the door leaving me to decide what to do with the newest package and I hung them up in the wardrobe musing all the way through the task of what to do, and more what I could actually dare to hope for from a non-thing that was becoming more than a mere "thing' whether I liked it or not.

_Houston, we have a problem_ I thought quoting the movie to myself silently closing the doors to the wardrobe securely, more than a bit wryly as I leaned against it as the realization that a casual fling wasn't going to satisfy what I wanted not when I was not falling irrevocably in love with Elrond. I already had. Shit.

That was the thought that was on my mind as I headed toward the dining room that evening, having opted to stay garbed in my day clothes instead of changing partly because I was cold and I wanted to feel that extra layer of weight and warmth against my skin. And, I needed to have a physical 'armor' against which I could guard against the invariable gentler teasing 'assault' during his soft, teasing 'war'.

That next round after the disarming and nerve-racking realization was a softer one, as the dinner seemed much quieter than normally. Of course, it seemed like some people were absent by choice, but my sisters were in attendance and discussing something between themselves as I slipped in and settled into my chair, admiring the fact that the mug of sweet, strong coffee was still very warm as I lifted it with my hand to take a steadying sip from it.

I needed every inch of that steadying influence too, as his hand skimmed the side of my leg nearest to his table seemingly in an idle path though I knew from the most recent days there was no accident to his doings. We were both distracted by Erestor's sparing discussion with Elrond about some matter in a rapid elvish that I couldn't follow completely but that was okay it meant that I would have a few minutes to dissect my feelings and thoughts in relative peace.

One that was shattered by the casual murmured tease in my ear so deliciously rotten that I was thankful that he had waited until I had set the mug down, to say so. It took me several seconds to realize what he had said, and the implication of it as he had avoided even being noticed by anyone as Erestor had excused himself and we were the only other two at that end of the table.

Once I realized it I took the time to shake off the heady feeling and subtly reached for his fingers where I traced with a fingertip a short message that we needed a chance to talk; though I had half an idea that talking was nearly the last thing on either of our minds.

Elrond's slight nod was the indication that he understood my message crude and ungraceful as it had been and as Erestor sat down again their conversation picked up again and I realized that it was more of a debate between friends in a dialect that I didn't truly understand as I nursed my way through the mug of coffee that had just been brought to me letting my mind wander a bit longer when the soft graze of a hand caressed the back of my neck drawing my attention up and behind me.

"I've cleared my schedule for the remainder of the evening and as long as I have need of it, that discussion you asked for?" he murmured as I nodded slowly getting to my feet as we began walking in silence, I found that even in silence it was enjoyable to be walking along the corridors.

I hesitated realizing that we were outside his personal chamber doors, particularly knowing two important facts one the privacy level was quadruple my own quarters' and two I probably wasn't going to be walking out the same again if I crossed that threshold. He opened the door and stepped through as he had probably countless times before though it remained open leaving me the choice to step through and completely accept ownership of my feelings, or turn and walk away...


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter Forty-Nine

My mind raced through so many thoughts I had no sooner caught one that another wove over it and eradicated my ability to catch it. Every instinct screamed to turn and walk away, my heart had its own opinion, and my body froze unable to tell which to follow, my instinct or my heart neither of which were willing to give in and let the other take control of my responses. I had to choose, within another few seconds whether to close the door, literally and figuratively on something with the potential to bring a great deal of happiness to both myself and to Elrond; or step through with my eyes open to the fact that I was taking a gamble with my heart.

_No, don't._ my mind screamed as my heart pushed the button that propelled my foot forward and I heard the very faint murmur from deeper inside my center _quiet you. You call all the other shots I'm calling this one._ I felt the smooth wood of the door under my hands as I pushed the door closed behind me before turning to look around again leaning against the door to rebalance myself.

I was shaking slightly, partly out of sheer nervousness, as I walked softly over the floor, hearing my shoes loudly in my ears as I approached where he knelt by the fireplace stoking the small flame there to a vibrant orange light. I didn't trust my voice to speak, at least anything sensible as I stood behind him, the warmth of the fireplace caressing my skin as I reached to touch his shoulder curling my fingers slightly as I did.

Elrond's hand crossed over his chest to cover my hand, the subtle squeeze revealing that he knew I was there, though he didn't speak as he reached with his other hand to replace the long fire poker back on the rack for it before he turned to look up at me, surprised and genuinely pleased that I had chosen to come in rather than walk away. "You are here," he murmured, "I wondered if the kitten would brave the water or head for the safer road."

I nodded slightly once smiling faintly as I saw felt his fingers lift my palm to guide me to be standing before him, fighting to keep the tremble out of my voice as I answered in a quiet murmur, "I couldn't close the door,"

He looked a bit puzzled for a moment then glanced toward the closed door and nodded the smile slight as he smiled gently speaking in a softer tone even as it wasn't necessary since we were alone, "I had wondered, which you would choose."

"You might've wondered but you knew." I answered softly, "Same as you knew tonight would come sooner or later."

"I knew tonight's discussion was unavoidable, even if the lead up was entirely pleasant, and not something I am finished with I have several other surprises in store for the next few days and evenings," he confirmed as he pulled me the few inches closer so that even if I wanted to evade I could not, "those are my choice to deliver, and it tosses the kitten off her feet which is entirely too tempting to ignore." he said as I swallowed once trying to keep myself steady with little success, which was improved by the close contact of his palm to my cheek which had me draw in a deeper breath and looked up at him trying to understand how that was possible.

"How," I managed forgetting the elven tongue completely as he shook his head, brushing hair away from my face, "Is that possible?"

Elrond's gaze, and gentle smile revealed almost more than his words, that he had no idea how it had happened, more so the tell was that his gentle tug so that I would be resting against his chest my face illuminated by the fire, "Raina, that is a question I fear I shall take with me when I do eventually in likely many years board the swan ship to Valinor to join my family there,"

I could feel his fingers winding through my hair twisting it softly between two fingers as I murmured softly, well able to feel and sense it in the tone, and the words "How you long to go, why do you stay?"

Because it is not my time," he answered simply smiling as both of us could see the fire dance along my own hair licking the red with an orange-red glow and it brightened his olive toned skin, "And I fear delayed further with your appearance to my life, something I never dared hope that could happen for me." he said quietly pressing his lips to the top of my head.

"How will you know?" I asked settling as I allowed myself to relax and enjoy myself spontaneously picking up the hand that rested to my side, this one having the Ring of Sapphire, Vilya in his tongue and studied it with a curious tilt of my head as the fire danced off of it catching my eye as I turned his hand over in mine.

"I'll know," he said softly, calm even though I heard and felt the stronger exhale and the slight shift of his weight was almost more a tell than the softer look was about the reason for it, the carefully controlled arousal - seemingly because of my innocent touch of my hand to his. "What do you see, feel that has you so intrigued by my hand of all the things to find so interesting?" he asked in a murmur over my head.

_Because I am fascinated by everything about you and I want to know more._ I thought to myself turning the hand over in my hands tracing the lines on it, answering in a soft voice as I settled down stretching my feet out along one of his legs, enjoying his small gasp, "Long, lean fingers - artists' hands where my sisters are from, but strong, capable and compassionate... and by the texture of them, unafraid to dig in and get a job done, and strong." I grinned despite myself as his fingers closed over one of mine, "Without harshness or cruelty, these are the hands of both the warrior and the scholar milord." I answered shivering as a vision of his hands and another deed of those hands that left me momentarily unable to speak, as he chuckled against the top of my head.

"That shudder, what was it from?" he asked, the tone was a fond tease along my ears as his second hand skimmed from my hip up my side in a light teasing slide of padded fingertips, just enough to send a tremor up my spine and spread out like a small fire within my nerves which I realized was exactly his intent.

"I was remembering another thing these hands are talented at, which needs not be a publicly witnessed event," I murmured as I could feel the gentler tease of his second hand as it had returned to my hip as I had been talking and kneading my side lightly. "It ought to be illegal or at least immoral to possess hands which can make anyone feel like that," I bit my lip as I realized too late that I had inadvertently inspired another streak of mischief in the elder elf, only the very slight glow to eyes that tinted between grey and pewter at times with the specks of flint and the lighting.

"Like this?" his voice was nearly a purr in my ear that sent an entirely separate tremble along my spine even as his fingers travelled up my ribs and over my slight curve to dance along the sensitive flesh of my throat feeling the quiet mewl of sound as much as he heard it, causing him to lowly chuckle as the sound had answered him over any denial I might have dared.

I had to take a deep breath to steady myself, or so I thought as his fingers continued the tease along my throat. It was nearly enough to make me forget all of my own concerns, fears and nerves, "that is one very good example of what these hands are capable of."

As I had been speaking his fingers had been sliding along my throat to the back of my neck in soft circles to sweep my hair over my shoulder, revealing just how much it had grown in length - as a habit I had kept it close to my shoulders because Camtamin was infamous in my youth for pulling it or using it as a means of control so as I aged I had taken to cutting it shorter to take that power away from him - did I have to now? I wondered idly before I discovered why he had done so when his lips pressed softly to the sensitive hollow just where my shoulders met my neck causing a small mewl to escape my lips as every sensible thought fled with the continuing touch.

I swore softly to myself as I shifted fighting down my own arousal as I closed my eyes not quite able to keep my body's response to his touch from my voice, "Please... don't make me a promise I can't collect." I shivered slightly swallowing harshly as the reminder of what gave me second thoughts rose up again with a low protesting sound.

I felt him shift and heard his softer words, in the intense gaze felt the truth of them, "I have never, nor would I ever make a promise I could not, or did not intend to keep."

I drew in a deep breath as I reluctantly rose carefully to look him square in the eyes, something that had him surprised almost as much as I was at myself, "Before neither of us have the ability to think clearly - and you do a fabulous job of hindering my brain from forming a coherent thought - I need to say something." he had grown very still and his hands held onto mine tightly as if preventing me from blowing apart or vanishing, "I cannot be anyone's mistress... I told you that before, and that is true. " I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes, as I bit into my lower lip, "And, even knowing that I shouldn't be - and by gods I shouldn't be - I don't do this," I shivered as the warmth was replaced by chill from within myself, closing my eyes for a moment as his fingers stroked over my cheek a calming warmth against the chill that was almost inexplicable to me as my eyes opened to swim with the grey color of his own.

"You do not do what, precisely, Raina?" he asked as his forehead rested against mine as I sucked in a deep breath and found that the truth to that question tumbled out of my lips.

"Attachment," I blurted out as I held onto his gaze, "And somewhere along the way I don't know when whether it was before .. or recent ... [I love you]." the last words tumbled into his native tongue, I didn't realize until after I heard them in replay in my head a moment later.

Surprise flared first across his gaze, yet a sense of peace under his surprise flowed from his emotions as well the repeat of the ... flicker that I had not dared to dissect as his fingers caressed my cheek as the flint-colored flecks to his gaze brightened as he sensed the rock that had been sitting on his chest fall away as his words were for a moment lost on my senses as he opted to show rather than try to tell. I'd been kissed before, even by Elrond and that had held no candle to what I felt. It was as if someone - Elrond had channeled a light so pure as to be an extension of himself, and in it I felt, and tasted his emotions and for a moment I was afraid of drowning in it as his lips broke contact with mine whispering the words against them as he did, ["I love you,"] his gaze held mine captive and completely so as I didn't dare to speak my eyes were wide and I was half sure he could hear the thundering race of my heart under my breast shaken to the core.

My shock and the fact that my emotions reeled and pitched violently as I tried to process what had just happened and as I tried I could feel his fingers running through my hair, half aware of the hand cradling the back of my neck swallowing the knot in my throat that wouldn't go down again, as my eyes focused again on the somehow ageless face reaching up with a trembling hand to touch his cheek as I realized I didn't have to say anything his head turned to press a kiss to the palm of my hand before turning so we were both laying on a side his back blocking most of the firelight from being directly in my eyes. I was afraid to move, barely breathing as his fingers slipped over my side lazily as if he would wait until I had found a sense of balance, if I ever did though not without the knowledge nothing would be the same.

"There you are," he murmured as I had been somewhere in my reeling been gathered in close so much so that I could breathe in the familiar scent he had now mingling with the fire yet distinctly his own as I smiled faintly.

"Not exactly the evening that I expected, the way it was going," I murmured as he merely smiled and kissed my temple softly, "Nor did I expect that to come tumbling down,"

"Ssshh," he said in a soft voice as I sighed deeply enjoying the closeness of the contact as he seemed to be making up his mind almost as if he had been debating while my mind reeled as I realized that I knew he was doing so before he said it. His hand slipped to rest as a pillow for my head as it tipped my gaze to his fully, "Your mind keeps one thought and it causes you to pull away at the very last moment, what is it?" he asked the direct question so worded as to make it nearly impossible to side step his question as his other hand drew lazy, patient seeming circles.

"What of your wife, I'm not worth throwing that away ... long I will live but not the forever you have..." I didn't want to see his reaction to my last lingering and persistent doubt, my eyes closing as I spoke.

"My wife sailed over a thousand years ago, in that time I have tended to the life she and I built together, and continued my work, that part of my life ended, to an extent when she chose to sail. In some ways I failed her, by not being able to heal her heart or mind of what the orcs did," there was an emotion I knew, that of the blaming of himself again, "In you I found something I didn't know was missing after the first hundred years of being focused on my children and the needs of others. You will not be my secret," he said startling me as my eyes flew to his not able to disguise it, "Ah, there it is the last of that doubt," he smiled softly and shook his head placing his forehead to mine, as I swallowed once not daring to interrupt him, "You are not my secret, not from those who actually know me well nor would I ever ask of you it. I could not." he amended wiping away a tear from the corner of my eye that I hadn't realized was there, "You will never be my secret not now nor when the inevitable occurs and I have to let you pass through the doors of the Halls of Waiting, my dear that day when it comes you will never be alone." he said as I nodded once even though I realized that even a worded refusal would not have been heeded by the connection between the elf and I. "Nor will you be forgotten." he said gently, "How could I forget a woman whose presence shook my world more than once?"

"Probably the same way that I could not completely forget the first person to truly reach past my own defenses to turn them around on me," I yawned despite myself and eyed him, "I am sorry... I did not expect tonight to end as it has..."

He shook his head and picked me up before getting to his feet offering me the chance to burrow into his chest a place I admitted to myself I did not mind to be. "Tonight has ended exactly as it should have," he disagreed gently setting me down to assist in pulling off my shoes as he did the same with his own, "though tomorrow I fear will end with fatigue of a different nature..."

/**Author's note: Let me know what you think of this... Should I have let them finish or let it stay as it is? Curious writer seeking feedback as this chapter is subject to change.


	50. Chapter 50 Please Read Warning

/Author's Note: As always if reading adult situations bothers/offends/otherwise insults your sensibilities - DON'T READ THE CHAPTER. I'll have a more friendly update in a day or two. Also, if it's not legal in your area, or you're not of age ... Don't. Just . Don't. R&R and Thanks for the feedback I get.

Chapter Fifty

Reluctantly my mind surfaced out of the oblivion of the silence of sleep, drawn upward by the feather-light touch of what I thought was a series of dancing butterflies that were going to scatter to the four winds, muttering something rude as my eyes opened. I was aware on the fringes of my senses that a voice was nearby, chuckling softly as the butterflies began another soft assault this time on my back as I curled up and tried to ignore the feeling when I was dropping drowsily back into a relaxed doze for awhile longer when the realization that it was not butterflies which were teasing me awake but agile fingers that were now sliding up under my longer tunic gently kneading my back in gentle circles.

["Good morning,"] the quiet murmur was a tickle of breath in my ear as I would blink my eyes open fully and tilting my head saw a faintly smiling face returning my own look. There was a sense of surrealism to the moment as I sighed deeply placing my head on the bedding too groggy to bother with the pillow as I felt his hand wrap around my side to caress my ribcage enjoying the softer touch of it even as I growled sleepily, ["You never were much for mornings,"] he murmured with a faintly amused sound in his chest, ["That's all right I might know a way to change your opinion ... for some circumstances.]

What my sleepy mind didn't register was that he was neither teasing nor entirely unkind as nimble fingers - the same ones I had described the evening before, relaxed and warm like a sleepy feline playing with them - as those of a warrior, and a healer, but had danced around those same hands as those of a lover.

His fingers were gentle with every touch, taunting and wishful as with each touch that I realized, belatedly was unwinding me from the protective layers of clothing one piece at a time as if he had all the time he desired, the movements were unhurried, steady and tilted between teasing and reassuring in easy twists and touches. As his fingers and lips committed their small crimes and assaults on my senses; I realized that instinct, and a slowly stoked desire was causing my hands to return the tormenting kindness.

It was as if by some unspoken understanding we were moving at a maddeningly slow pace, one that left me at times shivering in frustration as his hands or lips would migrate to another to tease and torment with the light touch and the gentler kisses. I was nearly to the point of pleading for mercy - whatever mercy was - as his lips found again the hollow of my throat and lingered there even as his fingers found new targets revealed as clothing was discarded to the side of the bed one article at a time.

My fingers developed minds of their own , walking over his shoulders, or chest or ribs, unfussy of where they landed as I breathed in by then only his scent, made stronger by the lingering arousal and need amplified by the just-out of reach that the level of intimacy we both had craved had seemed. I was aware of the feel of small scars and remainders of injuries that seemed to be long-healed as my palm pressed against his heart able to feel the racing drum in his chest beating strongly within it as I shivered lightly too tempted to resist the soft scrape of my teeth against his moving shoulder teased by the longer dark hair so much so that I found my fingers winding into it even as he muttered a silent oath as I licked softly the scraped skin rewarded with the shudder and repaid in rich spades.

I had to hold on to him it seemed like, as my body trembled against his with a low sound in my chest feeling the world drop out from under me with the feel of his hands softer touches rising higher on my thighs, squirming as a trickle of cold fear sent a single bead of sweat down the center of my back keenly aware of the second hand that tilted my head back so that all I was able to see was the raven-framed face that mirrored my torment, my need and the gaze was also filled with love that had been wrapped by deflecting layers now unhidden as his fingers found their target; unable to look away I felt my lips part in a wordless sound. His fingers were every bit as strong, capable as I had named them, and in such a touch , they were infinitely gentle and arousing at the same time.

I might not have uttered a word of pleading, though I did not have to, as my body made its own desires known without bothering to consult my brain, which might have been why it did so as the kiss that had sent my mind spiraling along the path that his hand was sending the rest of my senses became two and then three. Breaking away neither of us dared to speak our eyes were locked on each others' as I felt him shift slightly to be closer his hand moving away to offer room as my vision field shrank again with his movement to a ceiling of olive-toned skin and a river of dark hair that nearly tickled with every breath he took along my chest and sides, it had grown longer in the time I had not seen him, I realized as my hands slid through the thick curtain of it with a low sound in my chest.

I realized as I felt the first soft invasion that it wasn't what I expected, instead of a hardened heat I felt the tease of two longer fingers begin anew sending my senses to reeling as my back arched on its own the sound I uttered swallowed by his lips as they collided with mine to lay siege there as if the softer kisses had been but a warning skirmish.

I didn't have to be an empath to know he was aroused, needful as it poured off of him in waves heavy enough that anyone in the near vicinity could have sensed it and it was only heightening my own needs to the point I broke off the kiss with a ragged gasp of a pleading sound even as my body trembled in his grip. I felt his lips graze my ear and murmur a maddening word into it that had me whimpering in frustration. More maddening was the fact for as aroused as I could feel he was, there was a leash on it so tight that some part of me sought to rip it off and find out what lay under it, even if the price might be high I wasn't of the sense of caring past what I wanted, and needed from the elf. For every fire he set to my nerves inside and out I did the same to his nerves scraping my teeth against his shoulder this time reveling in his muttered oath and more when my fingers dug into the sensitive hollow to his hips kneading it almost catlike, on instinct alone as he shuddered the warning husky and almost too tempting to refrain from rising to as a challenge, "Keep that up and I'm going to find another use for those little hands,"

He had to have sensed that I would take that as a challenge as my fingers slipped over his form again and found every sensitive nerve on his sides and on his chest with I heard the low, not-quite threatening growl rise in his chest as his body shuddered with rising needs that wanted answer. His hands were long enough each to grasp both of mine and he did pulling them over my head gently keeping them there with a strong grip that had me squirming against his chest my back arched with the light stretch gasping out a breath as his body twitched again with his need against mine. As his hand caught both of mine, in a close wrap there was a sense of something happening that neither of us had intended and the molten heat that invaded my senses gently trickled in the longer we stayed so close and so far apart. The move left me at virtual mercy to sight and touch , something he would take full advantage over I learned with a ragged gasp.

His fingers were a moving darker glove against my skin starting at the sensitive hollow of my throat and continued in damning circles that left me breathless and trembling with a need raw enough by the time that hand had rested against my hip that I was nearly weeping in the frustration of it as my body writhed and sought selfishly the return of the sensation which would be its doomed salvation.

His hand never let go of mine as they tightened against his palm, my fingernails biting into lightly calloused flesh as his weight rested lightly, mindfully over mine and the kiss blocked the thought of discomfort as I felt the careful entry as his lips parted mine making the softer, irked sound part of himself as neither of us looked away from the other's eyes as I fell into them as he stopped all movement hanging suspended in a moment that lasted forever for me until the first real glide of his body into mine undid me completely. I felt the tears amid the near-liquid heat of his frame and doings and did not weep so much as find the wordless answers I had not known I needed. They were in every shifting glide, every gentle touch along skin that sang with them and clamored for the next when those agile fingers abandoned that patch of flesh. I didn't know when in the moment of sliding bodies joining my hands had been freed - I didn't care either as my fingers grabbed hold of his shoulders heedless of whether I snagged pieces of the long black hair in my fingers desperate to have even some part of his skin in contact with mine externally, not caring why I was so driven for this fulfillment of a need I didn't have words for, only the knowledge of what I craved and that on an instinctive, insistent level.

If I remembered being taken apart into pieces and made whole again before then this was something entirely different, I was held together by the hand cradling my heck with gentle abandon and the constantly moving stroking hand that had no shame to caress any patch of skin at its reach, sending new currents to sing along just-lit paths. I heard myself pleading with him - for what I couldn't tell though he seemed to know what I asked of him as the pace either softened or hardened with each next movement until the heartbeat I felt his lips bite into mine even as his hand found the sensitive skin of my ears and throat as I fell hard unable to breathe, to think or even know to do either one as my body and mind reveled and sped along the current of pure pleasure created by his doings and my own. I was on some level aware of the increased heat on my insides and moaned against his lips that had not surrendered mine instead parted them to dance lovingly with them as I shuddered strongly, feeling the heat and the flood of it through my entire body and deeper than I had ever experienced.

I shook with surprise as Elrond rolled so that he was resting on his back, and I looked down at him, needing his hands to hold me steadily there again as I fought to breathe let alone find a rational thought which seemed to be the last wish he had, as I could feel his body already stirring when mine hadn't even started to calm again.

I couldn't stop shaking and I wasn't cold, as my body moved in insistent, trembling slips on its own taking back what it wanted from him supported, balanced by the long not-quite steady hands again as I would utter a low keening sound this time as the pose had its own advantage easing my path to a shorter, intense tumble down again which left me breathless against his chest even as I felt his hand find absently the low hollow of skin and flesh where my hip met my spine, a sensitive place that had sent tremors through me without the heated invasion and that doubled with it even if he were clearly this time, just teasing. I heard at times his broken words more the meaning behind them did I register more than the words themselves, as my head rolled back with a throaty, needful sound that ended in something perilously close to a sob of emotion.

My body slid encouraged by his to rest on his chest trembling, heated and slippery with sweat and more the doings had drained off my anxieties, my lingering fears as I closed my eyes willing my heart rate to calm and my breathing to steady, neither of which actually occurred. I felt his lips on my temple, in my hair breathing in my scent as I shivered and shuddered against his frame when I realized that his hand wandered along my spine in gentle circles.

The blanket was a warmth that settled on my back almost uncomfortable at first before I realized why he had covered us with the blanket, my limbs were trembling and the warmth I had felt was evaporating quickly. ["You can stay if you're comfortable."] he murmured lowly as I had started to slip away, ["Feather-light you are I could sleep away a little while, you should also."] he murmured as my mind grew damnably fuzzy causing my eyes to close heavily and I dropped to sleep almost an instant later...

Elrond's eyes opened with a faint groan as he frowned lightly at the ceiling before a streak of red hair caught his attention, and he moved it out of his face smiling a bit as the woman it belonged to slept the peaceful rest of the dead, though he could feel the soft tickle of breath that indicated that she was very much at peace.

Peace. It was his fondest wish for the skittish, terribly hand-shy woman and yet he had experienced, more than once the depth of passion and felt her lose herself. It had been something to think about later, or in times like now when she slept soundly his fingers found her scalp and massaged it affectionately smiling to himself as she batted at him tossing restlessly away to her side the silhouette in the blanket softly tempting as he shook his head biting back the rising need with a low protest closing his eyes as he pulled his arm gently free of her grip murmuring a quiet soothe as she stirred faintly watching with no small pleasure the way she slid back into the dream she had been surfacing from.

_ I almost don't want to see when it dawns on her there wasn't going back once she stayed last night._ He mused silently to himself smiling slightly as he knew by the sun's position that he was going to have to find the motivation to push them both out of the bed and looking at the small being curled up almost catlike on one side of the bed he was loathe to do it but for the practical knowledge she was going to need to put back what was expended in the early morning into day.

_I do not know if that was the single ranking most foolish step I've ever dared in all my life, and .. I would not take it back from her if I could. On some level I knew the minute I laid eyes on her nothing would be the same again. I accepted that when letting go came perilously close to destroying me. I only hope she can forgive me for what we've done._

It would take an hour before he would convince himself that he could wake her without acting on the impulse that was pure selfish greed and propped himself up on an elbow in order to do so allowing himself the indulgence of doing so gently, well aware of the snarly and easily irritated mood she frequently awoke in if unready to awaken... But then, that was all right he had plenty of ways to trim the sharp claws, and a lifetime to find more.

_Ugh, what time is it... _I squinted around rubbing my eyes as I found the shades of blue all around and the stroking hand on my bare shoulder was disorienting - I didn't generally one sleep without something one or two have anyone in the bed. _Okay forget time, what - where - how? _"What ..." I dared the question with a small shudder as his fingers sent a tremble across my nerves, "Did we do? Besides the obvious." I amended at the slightly arched eyebrow and the softly canted gaze on mine.

"We accepted what was there, whether we liked it or not." Elrond answered simply as I turned to completely face him the softer look gentle, almost too gentle, "Much as I would like to show again the depth of what lies between us, I do not think you should go much longer without a meal."

_Okay, stop it , that's almost creepy._ I thought eyeing him with a small frown, "You're probably right though," I looked around at the disorderly array of blankets strewn in random angles but for the one now pooled at my hips and blinked before managing to shake off the shock, "I am going to have to find my way into my rooms because no matter what clever excuse I give not one of my sisters is going to believe a lie about why I'm wearing yesterday's clothes."

I'm sure that can be arranged, if I don't have anything still in here from when you were absent," he answered getting up in an enviably smooth motion that warned me he had been awake far longer than I. He opened several drawers before finding what he sought and withdrew a long tunic not unlike the one that was somewhere in the mess of his blankets in the color of coal trimmed in pale blue embroidery, "Bath first." he said smiling slightly, "In here," he said patiently standing back as I walked inside.

Like the rest of his suite, it was masculine and had the same clean lines that spoke of a long-held bachelorhood that caused me to raise an eyebrow silently as I opted against the bathtub, it was too tempting to get into it and close my eyes whereas the shower would wake me up as I yawned I heard the throaty sound a second before the rush of the waterfall that doubled as a shower filled my ears.

Twenty minutes later I was clean and redressed in the dark colored set my feet covered in a pair of boots that were battered with use but well-loved that fit like a dream which was all the better. I was combing out my hair with the wide tooth comb that I had found on the dark marble countertop patiently as he was bathing himself and I was impressed it still took him half the time it took me as he was drying off he smirked, "More practice." he said simply as I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Cut that out, it's almost unnerving." I said pointing the comb at him as I turned back to the looking-glass and frowned at it, "Should probably cut this mess back again its getting unruly."

"I like it," he remarked picking up a second comb from the countertop, and began unsnarling his thick hair which shone like polished stone I realized when it was wet. "But, I will not insist upon it."

"Smart thing, if you'd been unwise enough to forbid it I'd have cut it myself and enjoyed not only watching you twitch but Nikki who does this wonderful whole-body tremble when I do that."

"Do I look like the sort of fool who would risk forbidding you anything?" he asked standing behind me as he shook his head slightly, "No, you do with it what makes you happy, I'm simply stating I like it longer you seem... different with it longer ... less," he looked for the words, "cold." he decided at length as he finished pulling the front of his own into a braid that kept it back out of his way, "After we walk out that door, and have finished eating I've got to go pretend I want to go see about the paperwork and inspect the healing wing's supplies, I trust you can find something to entertain yourself with?"

I nodded thoughtfully, "I'm pretty sure your weapons master misses me."

Laughter rose from his belly - I could hear it this time and feel the pleased tremble of it run along my nerves, and the emotion did much to erase the often grave expressions he wore. "I dare say there will be more rumor than ever about the demon-kitten a pity I won't get to see it."

I grinned faintly, "Shouldn't have played the morning away. Hey!" I yelped jumping away as his hand lightly swatted at my hip, "don't start what we can't finish."

"Oh we could," he disagreed bending slightly to drop a kiss on the top of my head, "I just prefer to not get scratched to the point of discomfort when your brain realizes how long it has gone without that coffee you insist on."

"Coward," I remarked as I passed out of reach of his hands as his amusement flickered through me pleasantly, "But you're probably right I don't need to tempt the fates any more than I do with going so long without it."

_Time to go face the sun, _I thought ruefully as he pulled open the door and in single file walked out of the rooms and into the day that was already for most, long in progress...


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter Fifty-One

"Tommy, will you please bring me Mandy's riding boots, by the time everything is ready it'll be time to go." Nikki called out pointing at the pile of Mandy's shoes which were in the pile of shoes by the door.

Tommy bent down to pick out the pair of dark, lightly stained riding boots, "You do realize that we're going to have a monster on our hands if we ever do get back to California, don't you Nikki, there's not been a thing yet that we needed or wanted that someone didn't get for us or the kids." he said handing her the boots.

Nikki set one of the boots down and helped Mandy put them on smiling up at Tommy, "If that happens, I'm sure we can find a stable that will let us continue their lessons."

"That's not the point," Tommy pointed out quietly, "I mean everything has been replaced, or gotten I mean I've even been able to find something, that's kind of kind of like work." he sounded kind of surprised at this himself.

"You wanted to get out of teaching school," Nikki pointed out helping Mandy to her feet. "Worst to worse if we get back we could always open up a riding school."

"If, babe, if." Tommy pointed out as there was a knock on the door, "Probably Jas and Destiny with the kids it's just about that time."

Nikki laughed opening the door finding her twin, Jason and their two children on the other side, "Okay well everybody's here you all go on down, I want to check in Autumn and maybe see if Kris has heard anything from Willow or not yet."

"Oh sure abandon ship why don't you?" Destiny said laughing "But okay, we'll see you down there, don't take too long."

"I won't, I just want to check in and maybe if I've been good enough Kris'll want to come down out of her room for once."

"Good luck with that I got something thrown at me yesterday," Jason said chuckling as Nikki slipped out of the room, knowing that the other three would get the kids on time to their lesson.

Nikki went down the hall about twenty yards or so, intending to knock on the door when she realized that the door was open, as if Autumn were proving a point and instead stuck her head in the inside, "Autumn?"

"Yeah, door's open," Autumn replied sounding distracted to Nikki's ears.

Nikki stepped inside and turned toward the seating area that was mirrored to her own set of rooms, "I thought I'd check in and see what you were up to on my way to the stable for the kids."

"You're looking at it," Autumn answered pointing at the chessboard sitting on a low table between her seat and Rumil's. It was still a little strange to Nikki to see the Lorien elf in plain clothes, feet stretched out comfortably, "Anything new or exciting going on?

"Not unless you're on moving that pawn to E5 which will leave your King wide ass open." Nikki answered flippantly as she saw the surprise on Rumil's face as he was clearly teaching her how to play. Nikki smiled sweetly, "I learned that game against Elladan I can't count how many games I lost with that move."

"That can happen when you play against someone who's been playing since childhood," Rumil pointed out quietly, "This more teaching which is why I keep her away the sharks."

"See that you do he'd have her out in about ten moves max, I'm lucky to make fifteen and I've been trying." Nikki said laughing, "If you feel like it, the kids are going for their riding lesson now I thought eventually I ought take it up again too."

"Maybe," Autumn said clearly hedging her bets, "I want to learn a bit more about the moves and maybe practice game before dinner."

"All right," Nikki answered, "if you need me that's probably where I'm going to be." she said heading for the door. She left the door open, turning toward the interior corridor and found Kris' door as usual, closed. Nikki took a deep breath and knocked on the door and blinked when Haldir answered it instead of Kris, "Um Hi?" Nikki said "Everything okay or should I come back?"

"Everything's fine," Haldir answered guardedly opening the door to let her inside as well. It seemed like they had been at the minimum debating if not close to an argument when she had knocked.

"Right," Nikki said quietly more to herself than to Haldir, "I just wanted to pop in and see if you needed anything or wanted to come down and laugh at the kids as they tried again to learn to ride horses."

Kris struggled for a moment shooting daggers at Haldir before aiming a calmer look at Nikki, "After a little bit, I got something to say to somebody else here that ought to be said without other ears listening so let me get that out of the way and I'll see if I have time if not catch me the next lesson, I'd love to see how the littler ones are coming along in it."

Nikki understood that all too well, "I just wanted to touch base and let you know you're still wanted around here differences and all.. Say," she said suddenly "Have either of you heard or seen Elrohir or Willow since that storm the other day?"

"No, "Kris said, "I do know she pissed off Raina and Elrohir at the same time earlier that day so we might not see either one, if that is I heard right."

"You did," Haldir said with a grimace, "I would not be too concerned until it has been a few more days, if he's that angry he'll remove them both from the situation and then deal with it. I'm afraid to know what was said to anger your sister however."

"I don't want to," Nikki with a shake of her head, "Nothing good ever comes after Raina gets mad, and if she cries forget it, just run." she said chuckling briefly, "But I'll leave you to it and get on down to the stable." She said approaching carefully to offer a stiff but not unkind hug, "I mean it," she said poking Kris lightly, "Just cause there's problems between us, doesn't mean the kids have to pay for it."

"All right, all right, like I said," Kris answered glaring at Haldir, "I've got something to do first."

"Sure," Nikki said shaking her head on her way through the door again closing it as it had been before she came in. "Now to find one illusive and pesky pint-size creature." she muttered to herself heading toward Raina's rooms, which were not in the same corridor as everyone else's.

She arrived at the Raina's door and the room sounded kind of hollow as she knocked twice and then opened the door on the third knock to find the room, neatly ordered and empty as a tomb. "Okay, that's odd," Nikki murmured to herself closing the door. "Now where would she go?"

It would take several minutes and several empty possibilities, including the library, the veranda Raina favored even the Hall of Fire when Nikki came across Glorfindel and Erestor heading from the library Nikki had exited a few minutes before toward the outside garden.

"And where are going at such a pace today?" Glorfindel asked catching Nikki by the shoulder to stop her from walking past.

Nikki stopped and looked up at him, "I was looking for my sister, it's been almost a full day since I've seen her and the coffee pot's full." she said cocking her head to the side, "Either of you seen her?"

"Can't say that I have," Glorfindel answered, "Mind, I only within the hour came back in from the practice fields, and she was not there."

Erestor looked decidedly uncomfortable as Nikki's sharp gaze turned on him, "Not recently," he answered sidestepping her question as diplomatically as possible.

Nikki's head straightened as her eyebrow rose slightly mimicking the look Raina often gave seconds before calling 'bullshit', "And before recently?" she pressed impatiently looking at Erestor as her foot tapped as if gearing up to head on her search on her own.

"I can't say where she is now, when I saw her she was in the corridors, I'm no mind reader contrary to what some others might believe." Erestor answered mildly.

"Okay, if you haven't seen Raina have you seen Lord Elrond lately?" Nikki asked taking a reasonable, in her opinion stab in the dark.

"Last I saw of him he was growling eyeball deep in letters at his desk, which is why I am on the search for something to sweeten his temper before dinner." Erestor answered calmly.

"Okay, thanks I can find his study from here, I think." Nikki said shaking her head betting herself five dollars that she'd find both in the study.

Two wrong turns and a frustrated stamp of her foot later, Nikki knocked on the closed door to Elrond's study in a brisk and irritated fashion and waited.

She was just about to knock again when the door opened a bit abruptly, to reveal a, as Erestor had warned slightly ruffled and cross Elrond. "May I help you little one?" he asked looking at Nikki, clearly not having expected her to be on the other side of the door.

Nikki offered him her best sweet, 'help me' look smiling slightly, "I was kind of hoping you might know what corner the kitty-cat curled up in I tried looking in all of Raina's favorite spots."

Elrond returned her look blandly, "I might, "he said opening the door enough to let Nikki inside before closing it again.

_Uh huh smartass._ Nikki thought to herself as she stepped side spotting immediately a familiar pair of boots propped up on the arm of a chair. A glance at his desk explained richly the grumpy attitude though Nikki wasn't sure why Raina had a book open on her lap stretched out like that. "Might? Lord Elrond? That's like saying Raina and I are a little short." she said looking between the two.

"You did not seek a yes or no answer," Elrond pointed out taking his seat behind the desk again picking up what looked to be a large roll of paper and began reading.

"Actually I did, you did not give one," Nikki answered him with a shake of her head looking then at Raina who did not seem too interested in looking up from the book. She stepped over to Raina's shoulder and defiantly took the clip out of Raina's hair.

"Put it back." Raina said without looking up at Nikki turning the page in her book.

Nikki dropped it in Raina's middle as Raina glanced at her , clearly figuring out that there wasn't a way to ignore her to get her to leave, she just became more annoying. "I was wondering where you'd holed up this time."

"I wasn't hiding," Raina answered looking up at Nikki, "Did you need something?"

Nikki sighed and shook her head ["I don't but you might by that look on your face that says 'I stepped in it and I don't know what it is"]

Raina sighed and closed the book glancing at Elrond, "I'm going to take my pain in the ass and go for a walk so you can work in peace."

Elrond glanced at the two, "Of course I'll probably be stuck here till midnight and please misdirect any other messengers for the remainder of the day."

"Sure, I can do that easy," Nikki piped up as Raina nudged her toward the door.

_Busted but how bad?_ I wondered all but shoving Nikki out the door pulling it closed as we left, ["I guess you could I did step in it but good this time, let's head toward that veranda where you can still see most of the stables."] I suggested looking at Nikki.

["Boy you're full of non-answers today aren't you. Last time you did that I had a hunch about it are you going to answer or dodge my questions.]

["Probably both,"] I admitted sitting down on one of the chairs indicating for Nikki to do the same, ["I had hoped my being absent for just say a day could go unnoticed."]

["Maybe some people didn't - the elves don't seem too bothered when someone vanishes for a few hours, of course they live a long time so time is different. I just wanted to know you're okay."]

["Nikki, I am okay."] I said reassuringly, ["I've got some stuff to sort out before I want to talk about it, not least the way I feel about starting a relationship that I hadn't dared believe was really real all over again. As well, the discovering that he and I are, to use the elves word for it bound to each other is scary as hell."]

Nikki paled a bit at this as she stared at me blankly , ["I've heard of it, but I've never seen it, Raina are you sure?"]

I nodded softly, ["Within reason, yes. With certainty, absolutely not yet but I imagine in short order it will reveal itself to me. Please, go on down to your family I'm going to close my eyes for a few hours and rest, let my mind rest. And, if you break my confidence..."]

"I won't," She said with a small smile, "I promise."

Elrohir frowned gently into the outside, knowing that Willow needed treatment further for her shoulder, and yet he could not bring himself to chance the trek back to Rivendell with her weakened state. She had developed over the last day, and night a fever that left her flush and shivering both as he treated it patiently setting aside his anger and agitation with her knowing she needed someone to stand up for her.

Willow wasn't an evil person, he had decided that much - it was impossible to truly be part of that family and be so. And yet she was bitterly unhappy and taking it out on everyone, even the people she called out in her sleep for that had been hurt deeply.

Willow had reached a point in which that decision to step away from the dark corner she was on the cusp of or to turn back toward the family more than any other time. She was responding at least to the treatment, and while when awake he was patient with her upset again about the fact that he didn't have a choice in changing the bandages and he was thankful that he could keep it clean at least even if she fought a fever still.

He had to wake her again to make her drink some of the broth to the stew he had been eating for the last two days, in the pot it wasn't terrible, though he longed for the bread and cheese of his home sighing once as he helped her to drink the broth - Willow was awake, barely but weakened by the injury as he tucked her back into the blanket.

_I hope you can come around, because you're killing your sister._ He mused silently, remembering the hurt in his father's eyes during that discussion, _And if you're part of why she gets taken away from him and I have to help put him back together again I will personally kill you._ He thought firmly as he relented to the need for sleep and sighed realizing that she had in her chill taken his blanket as well as hers. This meant that he would have to listen to the complaining from her for the perceived slight to the woman's dignity agitated when she kicked at him.

"Stop it," he said smacking her leg lightly knowing that while feverish she was by far not delirious, "unwell or not I will not allow you to hit me."

By the dawn of the next day he awoke again to a clearer eyed Willow who was scowling at him. "Why are you in my blankets?" she demanded haughtily.

"In case you missed it, its' been cold, those are my blankets and you have been sick." he retorted icily.

"No really?" her sarcasm was back and Elrohir had to stifle the compulsion to slap at her or return with a greater sarcasm.

"Quite seriously the last two and a half days. In case you missed it, there's been no woman here to tend to your shoulder, keep it clean, keep you hydrated and well though a fever and kept you from becoming some renegade mans' personal entertainment the least you can do is not be a complete and total wretch to me." he answered tartly glaring at her.

Willow paled more with every word, "And why did you if it pisses you off so much?"

"Because sometimes doing the right thing is a thankless job." Elrohir shot back at her letting his temper get the better of him in the cave he'd been closed in with her inside the confines of, "It sucks to be the one letting youself be the one bitten repeatedly by an unhappy woman who doesn't seem to grasp what she's doing." he continued darkly glaring at her, "You're so sure that I am going to walk away you're eager to make me go." he scowled, "So the sooner you suck it up, realize you're stuck with me till you pull your head out of your backside and stop being a brat!"

"Oh and they're so perfect?" Willow spat at him, finally having heard enough, "I've got my own twin against me, Nikki's putting on this 'pitiful me' act that everyone's buying, Destiny's already on Nikki's side they've been so close their whole lives I'm amazed that they ever got married. Autumn's turning out to be just as big a wh-" her eyes widened as the elf's entire upper body covered hers as his hand clamped over her lips and the fury was so clear that she could see it flying off him in waves.

"You will not disrespect a friend of mine," he snarled holding her lighter eyes with his furious grey ones, "Rumil has never been anything but kind, and respectful, and helpful to a terrified young lady who just needs someone to listen without being judged or told what to do. If they come to the point of sharing a bed it's not my business and its damn well not yours!"

Willow shook her head furiously trying to break the grip of his hand on her mouth and growled furiously trying to eliminate it when his hand removed itself, "She's a girl - barely old enough to be an adult where we're from, I don't know what your standard is here but she's a baby practically."

"Which is precisely why Rumil has been careful with her feelings, and her wants and needs." Elrohir shot back, "I don't know what got in your head about men or male elves little girl but not everyone thinks about who they can get into their beds and discard!"

"Oh really - sure not what I heard about your father," Willow's eyes widened as she realized the fatal mistake as his hand sailed past her head to sink into the stone wall she was propped up against so close she could see his muscles move as he shook with rage.

"My father's business remains none of yours - whether it involves Raina or not - it is not your business what he desires for himself. You have no idea what sacrifice is, until you walk a few miles in his shoes, and let me tell you those miles suck more than every crappy little thing you're holding against your sisters. You need to grow up, little girl you might be over majority but you have the maturity of a five year old whose favorite toy got taken away." he snapped, "Go to sleep we return to Rivendell tomorrow if I have to carry you over my shoulder to do it I've had enough of this being cooped up with you." he said yanking one of the blankets free and wrapped it sleeping-bag style around himself and stared into the fire and focused on resting if not sleeping.

He heard her quiet weeping and hardened his heart against it, clearly she was too used to getting her own way and that was one way she manipulated others to giving it to her. It was not an easy task he had undertaken and as he heard the sniveling quiet into the deep breathing of sleep he began to think of ways to force the grown child to actually mature and that was the thought that crossed his mind as he drifted to a deeper reverie as well.


	52. Chapter 52

/Author's Note: A special thanks to everyone who has been reading along with me, many of you silently enjoying the tale - which is more than welcome too and to the new favorites/alert BellaGirl7 welcome and thank you for joining us. As always comments, reviews, PM's are always welcome and I try to reply within a day if not less! -silentdovesong

Chapter Fifty-Two

I carried the twin daggers, my gift from the twins during my last MidWinter with the elves in their case in one hand as I walked toward the busy practice fields, and found an empty space and while I was aware of the eyes shifting toward me I carefully blanked my emotions and my expression was unreadable as I set the case down carefully out of my way before beginning a series of intentional stretches that allowed me to feel loose enough to begin what I had actually set out to do.

It was completely natural to slide into the first level of the many fighting styles I knew and let my instinct and need direct where I was heading, every movement nearly as silent as the cat I had earned one of many nicknames in honor of, turning through the steps as the sounds of sparring, of blade work, of archery slipped out of my senses as I allowed myself to become engrossed in what I was doing which was truly moving through the kata's and the forms without missing a step between them not even feeling the frustration and confusion sliding away in the focusing and calming styles...

Jason stopped walking spotting a familiar flash of red in a sea of green grass and the dark hues of the Rivendell guard practice gear and turned to watch interested as Raina's perfect execution continued, accented by the flash of sun off of metal as she moved, "That's one quietly dangerous woman," he said quietly glancing at Tommy who nodded at him.

"Tell me about it," Tommy shook his head ruefully, "Hard to believe someone that little packs that wallop until she lowers the boom on your head."

"If she likes you she'll move the mountains; cross her man she'll drop that sucker clean on your head." Jason said shaking his head slightly, "I hope she stops being so mad at the girls soon, its driving Destiny up the walls worrying about it."

"I think it's really simple, but you know how Nikki is when she digs in on something." Tommy said quietly, "It's like talking to yourself sometimes."

"You're no picnic yourself sometimes, you know." Jason pointed out carefully, "I know I wouldn't mind getting back into it, and the kids ought to learn it too if for no other reason than the exercise of it."

"Yeah, I know and I can't think of a smarter, or harder teacher," Tommy agreed cautiously, "And it might ease that stress in her eyes lately, I wonder what's wrong."

"Knowing that Raina likes to bury things, Tommy there's no real knowing until she's ready to share it you know that too. Yeah, taking their belts was a cold, cruel thing to do but when you look at it as an instructor - man we're both qualified we'd have done the same thing if we had students acting up like that." he said frowning gently at Tommy, "Much as I love Destiny - and God knows I always did - but right is right and wrong is wrong and what they were all participating in was wrong."

Tommy grimaced and nodded reluctantly, "I know, it doesn't mean on a personal level I like it..."

Jason hit his shoulder, "Do ya really think _Raina_ liked doing it?" he scowled, "Here's your own damn family acting like a horde of heathens when you know what they're supposed to be doing? They ought to be happy she's only gone that far and that I think because the elves took pity - and not on the girls."

"What're you two talking about?" Kris came up behind them unexpectedly making both jump.

"Jeez you scared me, Kris." Jason smiled at her and moved so she could stand closer, "We were debating ways to help rebuild the bridges you guys did some serious damage to."

"I don't know that some aren't beyond repair," Kris said with a sigh shaking her head, "I'd like to find a way though, I mean it sucks finding out most of what you'd been told was half-truth and exaggeration."

"I can imagine it does," Jason said with an encouraging smile, "They're all of them not bad people, Kris and everyone makes mistakes and if you want it bad enough you can fix them."

"I don't know about that, I mean the Nikki I knew wasn't the most forgiving person in the world and Willow did a number on a lot of things."

Tommy put his hand on Kris' shoulder, "The one thing the Nikki we both know and love values most of all is her family, and there isn't anything she won't do for you or any of the others. She misses the closeness you guys had till one stupid mistake, don't punish her because I'm just as guilty as Nikki." he said with an intense, dark eyed look to Kris', "The both of us botched that whole thing, Kris I'm just thankful every day I get up and she's there and the kids are there when I get up smiling and happy."

Kris nodded slightly, "Look, I'm not unwilling I just don't want any bullshit when Willow shows back up because she's still my twin and you two know how that is."

"Yeah, we do," Jason said with a smile, "Just come around a little bit at a time till you get comfortable."

I saw the three of them talking as I gathered up my supplies and for a moment found myself allowing a trickle of hope to crawl up my spine, maybe they could repair the prism they had gone quite a ways to destroying, I deliberately took another path to my next destination - a hot shower.

The water was this side of heaven as I stepped under the spray and began cleaning away the sweat and grime of the workout, noticing absently that I had a few muscle twinges of protest as I scrubbed my limbs and rinsed before stepping out of it and back into clean clothes, before I realized that the day was nearly over, which meant dinner was soon.

I was prepared for a quiet late afternoon when I heard Elladan's shocked voice call out from below in the main courtyard. ["Brother of mine what happened?"]

Elrohir sounded exhausted as I stepped onto the railing to peer over it in time to see him sit down on a bench as two of the guards I recognized as Outrunners assisted Willow in sitting nearby.["It's a long story, where is Father I want for him to see about her shoulder, I treated it as best I know how but his skill is superior to ours combined."]

It was foolish instinct that had me abandoning the book on the table under the overhang and climbed down the balcony climbing from the railing to the nearby trellis then down to the ground as I cast aside any possible anger or hurt I might feel with Willow, some things were deeper than any hurt, "What happened?" I asked as I saw that while her hair and clothes were a mess the bandage around her shoulder and the sling holding her arm close was clean.

"Orcs attacked us, at least I think they were orcs, and I bobbed when I should have weaved." Willow tried for humor as I peeled the bandage back and swore softly at the angry red of the surrounding flesh as Elrohir nodded at me.

"This morning I discovered that and weak as she is I didn't have a choice, I don't normally keep those herbs in a way-station they do not keep long."

"No matter," I said dismissively already forming a three-pronged attack to solve the issues at hand - Elrohir needed a bath, something decent to eat and preferably some serious face time with a pillow; Willow's shoulder needed a new doctoring and Elrond needed to be notified. "Glorfindel, please inform Lord Elrond he is required in the Healing Wing." I said as I met the elf's clear blue eyes and smiled as he nodded and turned to the two Outrunners who had stayed nearby, "Take her up to the Healing wing," I instructed as I turned toward the twins, "Get him wherever your suite is and clean him up," I said frowning, "And see if he can't get a cup of coffee or something with a big boost of sugar so he can stay conscious long enough to eat."

"Can do," Elladan asked cautiously, "Where are you going if not with any of us?"

"The Healing Halls by way of the kitchen to try to charm the chef into making it an earlier dinner, he won't stay awake that long till the normal mealtime."

Twenty minutes later I was crossing the threshold into the Healing Halls of Rivendell my feet made little noise on the marble as I began the search for where either Willow was or Elrond was, whichever I found first was more than okay with me.

I slipped into the room behind the apprentice healer carrying a tray of various supplies and stood out of the way for a moment to observe what I saw. First, I was struck by the competence in his movements and in the gentleness in the words I knew Willow didn't understand, but the tone she would certainly.

As I watched he cleaned the wound on her shoulder carefully and bandaged it in fresh linens and within another few minutes Willow was soundly sleeping again as he would turn to a basin and begin washing off his hands glancing to me with a slight smile, "Seems we now know the reason for the delay, I trust Elladan is with him?"

I nodded, "That was my insistence at the time, I did not know what else to do, he looks horrible, Elrond." I spoke softly as he dried his hands, "Will she sleep awhile?"

Elrond nodded slightly as he guided me out of the room, "She will, and one of the apprentices will sit by her side so that if she should wake up again she will not be alone."

He and I walked together a fair distance before I spoke again, "How bad is it?"

"It is not good, it can be far worse," Elrond answered gently pausing to look at me, "The infection has not had long to settle in, with medicine and a few days rest out of the elements I am sure Willow will be fine." he said wrapping his hand around mine reassuringly, "I have healed far worse injuries to full health I would not worry so much right now."

"I know," I answered with a sigh, "I am just concerned about her, any differences she and I have are inconsequential in comparison to the deeper heart of the matter, she's my sister."

Elrond nodded as we joined the others in the main dining hall where voices could already be heard gathering around the tables waiting for obviously Elrond or I to appear with an update.

"Father?" Elladan's voice rose over the din inquisitively before he saw the tiredness in Elrond's features and backed away from the topic as he sat beside his twin, who I saw was currently chewing a large buttered roll.

"In a moment," Elrond's voice was quiet and saw the anxiety resting in his other son's eyes and spared him a moment before the tea I knew somehow he craved to calm himself and as he turned to Elrohir I began preparing the tea rather than the coffee I wanted badly before dinner. I couldn't see his doings, but I heard the words quietly reassuring, "It is not your fault the infection settled in, Elrohir sometimes these things happen in the best of settings as well."

"I know it can." Elrohir said sounding every bit as tired as he looked, clearly he was planning on trying to eat and then having a discussion with his pillow. "It doesn't mean I like that it happened at all."

"I know," Elrond's tone was gentle, deliberately so knowing that his son's temper was already fraying from the combination of not enough rest, the elements and Willow's injuries. "Eat, and then if you are tired you should just go on and lay down anything I might wish to ask can wait until tomorrow."

"That's what I said as well," Elladan replied as Elrohir's plate arrived first even as I passed by Elrond's seat leaving the mug of tea behind as I sat down in an empty chair as well. 'There is no need for you to fight off going to sleep," Elladan insisted quietly at his twin's wordless protest.

Elrond returned to his seat as the meal began and it was a quiet, calm affair that left me jittery and anxious in part because everyone else was so nervous and concerned about Willow. I was resistant to the softer comfort of the elf's hand and shook my head as it seemed they all gathered together during stressful times, I needed and craved the quiet solace of riding even if it was nearly nighttime.

I had a brewing headache by the end of dinner and it must've either shown or I was not doing as well at blocking other people from realizing how miserable I was feeling. Granted, the fact that I was picking at the meal before murmuring a vague excuse before leaving the table doing my best to not show just how dizzy I felt.

"Let her go," I heard the quiet admonishment from Elrond even as I felt his gaze on mine, how I could separate his from others I did not know or care, "She needs some time to herself."

How well he knew me, I realized as I headed back to my rooms to seek the private balcony overlooking one of the fountains and curled up there putting my feet up with a sigh as Willow's condition weighed on my mind. I listened to the birds' singing and allowed that to lure me to a calmer state of mind slowly letting myself relax even though I was not near sleeping.

An hour perhaps two passed and I was half sleeping when I felt fingers removing the clip I had pulled my hair up into out of my hair and heard the gentle clink of it being set aside onto the table before I felt the fingers stroking through my hair untangling the snarls and slowly soothing the pounding in my temples from the amount of worry and stress compounded by finding out what had actually delayed Elrohir and Willow's return from his intended trip.

My eyes opened to narrow amber slits as I felt fingers beginning a slow, steady massage of both of my temples, easing the faint nausea I felt from the pounding there a little at a time, causing me to utter a soft almost stirred sound as the pressure lessened and when I finally dared to open my eyes I found that I could do so without the small lightning-bug like sparks marring my vision.

Dark blue sleeves were wrapped around my shoulders as I realized that another chair had been moved to rest behind mine and sighed once realizing that I recognized the sleeves as I rested my head on the back of the chair, "Is everything all right?" I asked peering to look at Elrond as I was thankful for my cleared vision.

"Everything is as good as it can be for the evening, I have an apprentice watching over Willow so that everyone can rest with instructions to get your sisters when she awakens."

"Good, I'm sorry I was so out of it at dinner, the headache came up out of nowhere and I just couldn't manage any more of it."

"It is more than fine, Raina." Elrond's voice was soothing as his fingers grazed over my shoulders in the cooler night-air, "Evening falls and leaves behind the quiet of the day," he said softly as I could feel his head rest against the back of mine for a moment.

"Night seems to be the time in which you have the most time, when all other duties wind to a close for a day's time." I said softly smiling at him over a shoulder slightly.

"For the most part nights are my time to do what I wish of them, do you feel up to a walk tonight or did the headache leave you dizzy?"

I tilted my head tempted to get up if only to appease my now-grumbling stomach, "I think if I don't go from walking to a run I should be okay as long as we pass by one of the fruit baskets or something I'm finally a bit hungry after barely eating dinner."

Elrond smirked faintly and offered me a hand to my feet which continued as we headed toward the door to my rooms and I was faintly surprised to see that he reluctantly let my hand go instead he rested his hand on my shoulder as we walked together down the corridor.

The gardens we were walking in together were pleasant, quiet which was a pleasant surprise when I realized suddenly that I recognized it as the one that I had taken to hiding in during the MidSpring I had spent in Rivendell alone.

"I always did enjoy this garden," he said taking a seat in the grass offering an arm for me to sit down as well only then realizing that I hadn't pulled my hair back up yet.

"It certainly holds its own appeal doesn't it?" I murmured as I settled against him with a soft sigh as his fingers wound their way into my hair as we seemed to be settling for awhile.

"That it does, very much so," he said beginning to play with several strands of my hair with a softer smile that grew quiet, "I used to come here when I wanted to be alone, when you were gone because it was quietly special to me." he shook his head slightly, "And here you are again," he said with a quiet almost relieved sound as his fingers wound into mine after he finished the braid.

"No one was more surprised than I was," I said with a small smile at him, "Nor more shocked than I to discover that what I had thought to be wishful thinking was... real. It had to be horrible the period of time that I was so out of sorts to know that it was, really real."

"Raina, your confusion at the time was more rational than you seem to think," he said taking my hand into his with a quiet look at how cold it was rubbing it between his to warm it, "And it did all come back, it just took time for your mind to right itself."

"At least it did," I pointed out as he was studying my fingertips, "What? Do I have something gross on it?"

"Not at all," he murmured with a smile, "I was admiring them is all. They're a lady's hands attached to the heart and soul of a warrior, and yet I have seen kindness form you toward others, myself included," he offered a gentle look as he rubbed my chilling fingers between his hands, "And they are currently cold, shall we head inside and warm up?" he asked thoughtfully as he helped me to my feet regardless of my answer it seemed.

"Probably ought to and take that discussion somewhere else," I remarked remembering where my discussion and description of similar nature had ended controlling barely the outward blush though it brought a butterfly to flight on my insides.

"This way then," he decided it was apparently easier to explain away a visitor in his rooms than himself being a guest in mine, as we were heading on the pathway to his private family rooms when I realized he was having an internal war of a sorts before shaking it off and smiling as he let me into the room closing the door behind us...


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter Fifty-Three

I had once heard Tommy jokingly refer to Cayden as a Petri dish of sickness and proved it when after a stretch of very hot days the weather broke to a sudden cold rain and the child sported what began as a runny nose. A perfectly normal response to the weather I might add for a child under the age of five. Not normal was the way he latched onto me, something I was not at all comfortable with, especially knowing that small children especially sick small children tended to be contagious little creatures.

It crept up slowly so much so that I had forgotten about the child's illness until the morning I woke up freezing cold, complete with the nausea and utterly oblivious to the fact it was actually fairly warm outside, I wasn't going to get out of my blankets if someone paid me. I made the vital mistake of daring to eat a piece of the bread that I had brought with me from dinner the evening before wrapped up by the kitchen assistant.

Within five minutes the nausea had worsened and I found myself sprinting for the nearest bin and regurgitated it and without prejudice. I hadn't been physically ill in years, and I was shocked to realize I was as I made my way back to the bed immediately deciding that I did not want coffee nor did I want food as I burrowed into the blankets before closing my eyes and falling into a fitful sleep.

"Lord Elrond?" Nikki's worried voice interrupted Elrond on his walk between his study and the Healing Halls, as she hurried to catch up with him even as his pace slowed to make it easier for her.

"May I be of assistance?" Elrond inquired looking at Nikki with a slight frown wondering a moment as jittery and nervous as Nikki seemed if she had gotten into Raina's coffee habit as well.

"Well, I didn't see Raina at breakfast, which lately isn't unusual anymore since she seems to like sleeping in or eats with you if you start the day earlier, but I didn't see her at lunch either and that's really weird. I have not seen her today at all and usually I cross paths at least once in the course of the morning."

Elrond frowned at her slightly as realizing that he had not either, "No, I have not seen her myself today at least. I did last evening when she said that she wanted to do some reading."

"Odd, I'm going to go look in on her maybe she got lost in a book and forgot herself." Nikki said smiling brightly though Elrond did not quite believe the expression, the barest of flickering concern marring it as she was turning to walk toward where Raina's rooms were not realizing there was a worried frown aimed at Nikki's back.

Nikki paused at the closed door and knocked on it and waited about a minute or two before knocking again when she heard this time the faint, muffled sound of someone vomiting inside the room and opened the door cautiously entering the room. "Raina?" she called out, hearing the soft groan and turned the corner into the sleeping area in time to watch Raina climb back into the blankets shivering the faint smell of bile turning her stomach over. "Are you okay?"

Raina sighed and burrowed deeper into the blankets, returning Nikki's intent look through eyes that glittered with growing fever, "Probably fine, just freezing cold and my stomach has decided that it is on strike," Raina answered closing her eyes, "Gonna try to sleep it off, if I don't get to dinner, send someone for me." Raina rolled over clearly intending to try to sleep out the sickness as a wriggle of worry crawled up Nikki's spine before she backed up out of the room and headed toward the Healing Wing, knowing that was where Elrond was likely to be.

She did not find Elrond in the Hall, instead she realized with a surprised jerk that it was Elladan who was working at one table and his twin worked at a table nearby clearly accustomed to the tasks, "Oh, I wasn't expecting to find either of you here, but um maybe one of you could help?" Nikki said looking as Elladan paused his work and reached for a nearby towel looking at her as he did.

"We can certainly try, what's on your mind, Nikki?" he asked turning to give her his full attention tilting his head to the side slightly.

"Is there something maybe that at least slows down vomiting, Raina's been sick at least once I know of and I do know its nearly mid-afternoon and she's not eaten anything and had it stay down."

"Come with me," he said with a quiet, worried face casting a guilty look at his twin as he turned Nikki around heading toward one of the storage rooms and gave Nikki a careful look, "Go over the symptoms again for me, otherwise I risk mixing the wrong one and ending up in the hot seat."

Nikki sighed, "Glittery eyes, probably from a fever, chills, vomiting, probably nauseated to the gills." she frowned and a wide-eyed look of horror crossed her face though Nikki did not clarify the look.

Elladan was clearly following her thought process as his frown deepened as he lowered his voice, "It is one of two possibilities, a stomach illness that will pass or..." he did not finish that sentence because of where they stood.

"I don't think that's the case but one of us has to take the short straw and remind them about that possibility in the future." Nikki shook her head, "I think this is the bug Cayden had the other week."

"I take it I have to take the short straw?" Elladan asked pulling down a packet of three closed pouches.

Nikki looked up at him, "If you want it, you take it either way that fever's got to come down and the vomiting's got to stop or she's going to lose a lot of weight really fast." She said as she remembered more than she thought from the classes she was taking.

"Come on, I'll show you to mix this and then I'm going to go put my head on the line, thankfully he needs me in case something happens to him so I'm not likely to get killed." Elladan said as he headed toward the door.

A few minutes later Elladan and Nikki were standing outside Raina's door and she knocked again lightly as she would not receive an answer from inside the room and carefully opened the door again, "Hopefully she's sleeping," Nikki said worriedly, "That's the best thing she can be doing."

Inside they realized Raina was in fact sleeping which gave Elladan time to teach Nikki the basic composition of what he had pulled down for her, "First, water goes in the fireplace, and heats to a slow boil, just enough to infuse the leaves and after the color turns to a dark brown, like oak-tree bark remove the leaves and try get her to drink it. But do not do so until she wakes up." he said firmly, "In the meantime I've got to go be the messenger and pray I do not get hit for it." he said handing Nikki the pouches, "One per time of day, this dose I hope is evening-time and that she sleeps until then." he said look at Nikki.

Nikki accepted the pouches and stopped to listen hearing the slight rustle from the other room, "I think I'm going to get water going, since I doubt she'll sleep that long, if I have trouble I'm sure I can get someone to help me." she said looking around for the pot Raina normally used for water for coffee to fill it.

"Just do not let the water get too hot, and any of cleaning assistants will be able to find at least my father or I to help you." Elladan answered with a slight look toward the other room.

Nikki glanced back as she was filling the pot with water nodding, "I'll remember that, and good luck." she said with no small sympathy as it was conversation she did not envy him to have to have.

Elladan nodded with a slight smile and let himself out of the room, closing the door behind him and went in search of his father.

Elladan strode briskly through the corridors of the main house, looking in the usual haunts for where his father was known for hiding in when he needed a few minutes to himself. Elladan found him standing in one of the quiet rooms in the family area of the city and approached quietly resting his hand on Elrond's shoulder. "Father?"

Elrond's hand crossed over his chest and patted his son's hand wordlessly indicating that the elder elf had heard him, the grey gaze focused on a point somewhere on the horizon.

Elladan squeezed his father's shoulder lightly to draw Elrond's attention to him smiling very slightly, "I come bearing news I thought best to be heard from me." Elladan began quietly, "I was alerted about thirty minutes ago that Raina is unwell - nothing serious that I can tell given the symptoms described and that I have seen. She is nauseated, slightly feverish, chilled and vomiting. I have seen this in the Dúnedain camps before and it is either a stomach upset or ..." he trailed off knowing that he did not have to finish that sentence.

As he was speaking, Elrond grew quieter, something Elladan knew was both good and bad. It would be several minutes before he would speak and when he did it was a quiet tone, "Keep this news to a minimum while I see what can be done and answer once and for all exactly what is the case." he said after a careful deliberation.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter Fifty-Four

"Elrond?" Erestor's voice slid through the slight daze that the constant musing had left him in, causing Elrond to look up from the letter he was reading as the elf closed the study door a wordless signal to others to not interrupt. "What has you so distracted?" he asked moving a stack of papers in order to sit against the edge of the desk.

"Just something Elladan said... without actually saying it." Elrond answered setting aside the letter he had been trying to focus on without success.

Erestor smiled slightly, "He is his father's son. What did he not say then?" he asked watching Elrond's gaze carefully.

"Raina is unwell - Elladan and Nikki assert that it is the stomach ailment that Cayden had recently, but the symptoms are also partly parallel to another condition." Elrond said casting Erestor a slight look certain his friend would catch the meaning.

Erestor's eyebrow quirked slightly even if he didn't make a remark about the indication directly, "And you are, undecided on how you feel about that reminder, however gentle from your son."

Elrond sighed with a faint smile aimed at his longtime friend, "It is something I have not considered in a long time, Erestor. And now it is something I have to bring up to - if Nikki doesn't manage to do so first - to someone who is not likely to respond well to the whole concept."

"I would say, make up your own mind of what your preference is, and why that is so before you even come close to bringing up that topic to Raina." Erestor said with a slight smile, "What are your thoughts if you are at least willing discuss this with me?"

Elrond did not directly answer him, which Erestor knew meant that he was seriously considering both sides of the issue and carefully so, "I really do not know how I feel about it, Erestor not yet at any rate." He looked nearly as conflicted as he felt as Erestor placed his hand on one shoulder.

"When I asked for your help with a difficult decision long ago you said to follow the voice that spoke from the heart even if it was the more challenging road to take." Erestor said with a faint smile, "Your heart knows its answer, it is a matter of when your mind will accept it." he said getting to his feet, "I, on the other hand have to see if I can beat your Seneschal to the table, loser has to give the first back massage."

Elrond chuckled, the faint amusement brightening his demeanor "We both know the answer to that."

"So I do, you should go look in on Raina, since I am quite certain she will not be joining us at dinner if she is unwell, before you head to dinner."

Nikki sat talking in halting Elvish - Elladan was being a stubborn ass and refusing to answer even a badly pronounced question that was not in Elvish which was maddening. As she was cutting a dinner roll open to keep Cayden busy as she saw that Erestor had taken his seat doing the same for himself barely noticing that others were filing into the room as well.

"Oh great here we go," Destiny muttered as Willow came in and sat down glaring at Elrohir who looked about as pleased with her as a wet cat.

Nikki shrugged and passed Cayden the roll she'd just finished buttering as she saw Glorfindel come into the hall; nothing at all unusual about that. Instead of passing the table as he usually did, he paused to exchange a soft word with Erestor, perching on the end of the chair he usually occupied, the gestures and body language very clear and familiar to Nikki.

"Oh that's just lovely, do you two have to do that here, people are going to be eating here in a few minutes." Willow sniped aiming her comment at the pair as Nikki slammed the cup she had been about to take a sip out of back onto the table, heedless of the liquid spilling over onto the table and her hand, shooting to her feet before even Elrohir could react to Willow's inappropriate comment.

"You judgmental, condescending bitch." Nikki's voice rose furiously as her temper exploded shaking off Destiny's restraining hand as she placed both of her hands on the table to lean forward, "How dare you, first me all these goddamn years about my decision to be intimate with someone that I loved - and still love with all my heart; then you turn around and humiliate Autumn over nothing. Let's not even go into your shitty attempt to rattle Raina's cage and now this!" Her hand gestured furiously at Glorfindel and Erestor plowing on heedless of the fact that she was shouting at the top of her lungs, "How dare you even speak ill of the very people who are part of the reason you're not out on your ass!"

"Oh sure side with them and their behavior I should have known like would go with like!" Willow shot back angrily on her feet her nose less than eight inches from Nikki's.

Nikki's eyes were narrow, blazing blue slits as she snarled her next words, "Willow, you wouldn't know decency if it bit your nose," Nikki growled angrily, one hand reaching for Willow's shirt as the other grappled for the knife Tommy wasn't quite quick enough to get out of her reach and before even he could disarm her the knife sailed just past Willow's ear sending Elrohir's head back a few inches his eyes never leaving Nikki's, "What other people do that doesn't involve your nosy, holier-than-thou self is none of your damn business! I didn't miss," she added as she realized quickly that Willow was going to comment on the fact that she hadn't been struck with the blade of the knife she'd thrown.

By this time Tommy had simultaneously moved between Nikki and Cayden and had taken hold of her other arm knowing that if he missed the best case scenario was flying Willow, "Babe," Tommy called trying to get Nikki's attention, "You're scaring Mandy and Cayden, stop." he said though it was clear that even he was a little surprised at the level of anger she was showing.

Whatever Willow had been about to say was cut off by the frigid voice that shattered the anger in the dining hall like dropped crystal, "What is the meaning of this madness at my table?" There was restrained anger in Elrond's voice that seemed to even cut through Nikki's temper. "Sit down." there was no suggestion in the tone, it was pure command and to their own surprise both Willow and Nikki were easily pulled back into their chairs. After which he did as well, and leveled a calm gaze, one his family recognized as the prelude to his mood turning from mild to anger, "Would someone be so kind as to inform me of what happened, and not either of you." he said directing the last at Nikki and Willow.

"I can," Glorfindel answered his tone quiet, diplomatic even as he looked to Elrond, "I think anyway, though I am not sure what precisely happened." He hesitated as he saw the lingering hurt and anger in Erestor's silent tension, reaching without thought to put his hand over Erestor's, "It seems that my bond with Erestor offended the delicate sensibilities of Miss Willow, something for which I will not apologize for."

"And how did that turn into a screaming match in my hall?" Elrond asked Glorfindel as his hand reached for his own glass when the twinkle of displaced metal being discreetly removed by one of the kitchen staff caused him to raise an eyebrow, "And why is one of my dining knives decorating my wall?"

Glorfindel shook his head slightly, "One and the same as a matter of fact. I did not catch verbatim Miss Willow's words but what I did understand of them was that who I am is somehow improper, I fail understand how that is, and in Miss Nichole stood up for Erestor and myself; albeit I admit alarmingly loudly."

"And the knife?" Elrond prompted though it was clear he was less and less pleased by the minute.

"In her words, she did not miss." Glorfindel said straight-faced.

Elrond drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, "It seems that in this instance a feud has at last spilled over from family issue to involving others' lives." he said slowly, "However, while I do not condone yelling in my dining hall, it is appreciated that my family is held in such high regard by at least some of my guests."

Elrond's tension and irritation made for a somber dinner mood as there was little doubt that the discussion weighed heavily on his mind, as he ate very little and the glass that was often refilled during the course of the meal, sat nearly untouched as he was very silent in his contemplations. _Rare are the times I am thankful for what appears to be a simple illness, for it spared her the aftermath of this particular quarrel. This has to end before they incidentally cause her harm in their often thoughtless fighting, _He mused silently for several minutes before being quietly interrupted by an unexpected person.

"Can I ask a question?" Mandy was looking anxiously at Elrond nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof about fifteen horribly long minutes later.

"Of course," Elrond answered managing a small smile as he set his silverware aside to focus on the girl's question.

"What did Lord Glorfindel mean? About him and Erestor?" Mandy looked genuinely puzzled as she heard her father slightly choke on his bite of food.

"An excellent question," Elrond smiled at her to discourage any negative comments noticing as he addressed Mandy, that Elrohir had discreetly grabbed the back of Willow's neck as he ate to keep her from interfering, "Could you clarify what you didn't understand exactly or is it the whole of what he said?"

Mandy chewed her bite of food and looked at her parents and answered only at her Dad's reassuring nod, "About what he said all around, and if I don't get there's no way I can help Cait and the boys get it either." she said swinging her feet as she shyly looked away from Elrond.

"Ah, so I see you are trying to understand what he meant by bond," Elrond said calmly smiling again at her, pleased that the child had opened the dialog for him, "What you think it means?" he asked looking at her more than a little curious.

"I think it means to be very close, like my Mom and Dad, and that each one feels that the other is very important?" She sounded uncertain about it and looking for approval, very much the way a bright pupil would to a teacher after solving a particularly difficult puzzle.

"That is a very good, very wise thought," Elrond answered her genuinely pleased and surprised at the clever mind of the girl, "And I think one of the best ways I've ever heard it summarized."

"And it is true," Erestor put in patiently, "And as you get older perhaps we can revisit the idea and answer your questions as they come, okay?" he said as Mandy peeked around Nikki's side to nod at him.

"In the meantime, let us continue our dinners, and I'm sure if you finish your meals you can get a treat from the kitchen afterwards." Elrond said as the meal continued and he saw that in many ways the truce had been forced for the time being between Nikki and Willow; and sadly it would not last long. He only hoped it wasn't so far gone as to be irreparable.

Elrond slipped into Raina's rooms, unable to quite stop himself from going inside after knocking once softly on the door. He called her name softly as to not startle the woman, breathing a soft sigh of relief that Raina was still sleeping, no trace of stress or upset in her features as he smoothed back her hair.

She stirred in her fitful rest and nearly awoke, but calmed with the gentle stroke of his fingers against her forehead, the smaller frame relaxed as he was relieved to discover that she was no longer feverish, though he was sure by the way she was curled the other symptoms remained.

He slipped his feet out of the shoes he was wearing, and swung his legs up onto the bed, reaching for one of the books the woman had stacked by her bed for the hours she was unwilling to do more than that and flipped open the page beginning to settle in for the longer evening spent with her resting company.

_Rare are the days that I am truly thankful that you were not with me as I was earlier today, _he thought to himself running his fingers through her hair enjoying the soft texture even if he was certain she had broken the fever herself without much additional aid of medicines. _You will not be amused, my dear about their rather loud quarrel of which I have no doubt someone shall tell you of it. I only hope that I can soften the hurt you feel and smooth it before it takes more away from your reserves. You are not mithril my dear you will break if they keep pushing you._ Elrond's thoughts wandered along a dangerous skipping stone path as he felt her roll closer and sigh deeply before settling again.

It was with an unfamiliar reluctance that he began a cursory, careful examination to ensure that it was merely the stomach ailment that was troubling her system and not the only other logical reason and allowed himself a small sigh that was only half relief to have the suspicion and assertion confirmed as such was the case.

"We need to have several vitally important discussions very soon." he murmured as he settled on top of the blankets after tucking them back in around Raina, not even himself certain where and when he would begin the discussions.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter Fifty-Five

_You should be honored that my father long ago taught me to never to beat a girl within an inch of her life, in his city. Outside might, however become a whole other can of worms for you. _ Elrohir fumed as he shoved Willow into her rooms closing the door behind him loudly, "Get changed into work-out gear. You have five minutes or you go as you are." he spat at her enjoying the shocked expression folding his arms over his chest, "You waste your time, you either change or you go as you are right now in less that." he was quickly losing what patience he had possessed with Willow as she finally took heed of his words and ran to her changing room and Elrohir hoped for her sake she did not take long.

Five minutes later he was pushing her toward his rooms and opened the door and pointed to a spot just inside, "Do. Not. Move." he snapped heading for his dressing area in order to change into his own gear before pausing at his weapons cabinet unlocking it in order to pull out several items, including his bow, a dagger and a long blade as he glared at her, "Out," he said curtly pointing at the door as Elladan wisely did not comment on the fact there was anger pouring off of his twin in colorful waves.

It was no surprise to anyone that Elrohir had been more prepared for an emergency this time, pausing only to pick up a bag from one of the staff sparing a slight smile that did not reach grey eyes for her before driving Willow onward heading for a side gate to the city. "Out." he said curtly using the common tongue only because he wanted there to be no way for her to mistake his words, or the fact he was so angry he could barely see properly.

He pushed her nearly to exhaustion, which took approximately five miles on what he considered an easy track - which he bet himself would be classified as impossible by her selfish standards. When she slipped and fell not paying attention to where she was going on a slick patch of fallen leaves he paused only long enough to ensure that Willow was not badly injured and coldly spat, "Get up."

"What?" Willow's exhaustion clearly wasn't enough to curb the venom still burning her tongue, "I'm not getting up. If I do I'm going back into Rivendell and I'm going to bed." She began rising and before she was halfway to her feet his hand had her pinned to the nearest tree.

"Allow me to be very, VERY clear. You revoked your privilege to make up your foolish, narrow little mind. I have never, in all my years been more mortified and angry than I have been tonight!" he hissed enjoying the shock and fear in her eyes, "You spoke of matters with the air of being all-knowing when you know absolutely nothing!" He was shaking her with each word by then as the controlled rage slipped in measured steps between his fingers.

"It's disgusting, and I don't have to watch it." Willow wasn't so scared as to be silent as the elf positively shook with the attempt to keep from truly lashing out at her with prejudice.

"For all their deeds both in the distant and near past exhibitionist is no word I would have ever used to describe either of them." Elrohir spat, "And even if they were it would still be none of your concern! Both of them happen to be among the top of their respective fields and I strongly suggest when I am through with your sorry, ignorant judgmental ass you offer an apology."

"I will not!" she spat at him and shrieked in alarm as he spun her back on the path with a rather harsh backhand to the back of her thigh causing her to jump and glare over her shoulder.

"Be happy I didn't go by the stable, it would have a far crueler bite than my hand ever could," he spat "Continue." he said beginning a slow jog that he measured with care to ensure that she was always in front of him intending to go to the farthest height of the path before finishing what he had to say knowing that the run would also serve a second purpose of enabling him to control his temper.

By the time they had reached the top it was painfully obvious that Willow was the only one of the six who consistently refused to take advantage of the facilities available to her, she was sweat-drenched and out of breath as she stopped bent at the waist panting deeply. It gave him a grim satisfaction to know the other side of the path that wound eventually back to the city grounds was worse than the hard jog he had driven her up to the crest at. Elrohir counted to fifty, and offered her a flask of water to drink from. After another ten minutes said frostily, enjoying her shock that he would give such a demand so late after a five-mile run, "Down the mountain. Now." he said pointing knowing full well that he could take the path below with ease.

"You've got to be kidding me." Willow replied, out of breath and tired, "There is no way I'm going down that damn mountain."

"Now." he repeated frostily, his breath a clear mist in the cool night air, "Your night is far from over and very likely one you will remember for a lifetime." he said turning her roughly as the woman's words echoed in his ears, aimed at two elves who had done absolutely nothing wrong.

With a great deal of reluctance, Willow began the trek down the mountain realizing that there were various, increasingly difficult obstacles along the way down, exactly the opposite of what she had anticipated. The rope ladder had been difficult - and she'd fallen twice each time having to start it over which had her near tears again with frustration as there was no sympathy or compassion coming from the elf.

More maddening for her was the athletic, easy grace with which Elrohir finished everything before she did, and currently he sat astride a large rock wall patiently waiting for her to climb to the top herself. What was worse for her, was each failure reminded her it had been that way for all their lives, it had been the five of them working to solve problems. The wall would have been easy with them, she realized landing on the ground with a yelp of pain as her hands burned for the third time.

_Nikki or Destiny'd have all five of us over that wall in no time flat._ Willow thought furiously glaring up the wall angrily, _Even me when I got tired I knew back then that they weren't going to let anything happen,_ Willow thought as she shook off the sting in her hands and wiped them on her pants to try again.

_I can't do this, this is impossible._ Willow thought to herself as Elrohir waited with the infinite infuriating patience of someone who had all the time in the world. It reminded her of some of the uphill battles as teens, like the time she'd been cornered by several adversaries without her Ranger gear and had only the watch-like communicator for help. It had been, she realized Nikki who had helped her out of that situation even though that morning they'd been fighting too. _Did I ever get along with Nikki?_ Willow asked herself climbing again, having to stop about halfway up the wall to catch her breath, wishing for a way to rest.

"Come on, we're not even halfway down yet you cannot tell me you are tired already." Elrohir's taunt was aimed to make her angry and lash out at him, which he was met by a spark of agitation that led to her climbing the wall...

"This cannot be happening," Nikki said putting both hands over her eyes as the possibility that had been bouncing around her mind all day flickered back to the forefront.

"What can't be happening?" Tommy asked frowning over at her, closing the door to the kids' room as he did.

"I don't think Raina's just sick, not anymore." Nikki said quietly, "I think it's bigger than that, and I think bigger than Lord Elrond's skill of healing if I'm right." Tears were beginning to form in her eyes as she spoke.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, sitting down beside her on the couch.

"Remember all those years ago when Zordon told us the Power was a grid? All lines on a grid touch, somewhere, you know that. And in Purple there's a serious fracture." she said slowly, "And I remember something Mom said." Nikki finished slowly as tears dripped down her cheeks.

Tommy put his arm around her shoulders pressing his lips to her temple, "Your mother says a lot of things, Babe you're going to have to be more specific. She also says a lot more without words." he added wryly.

Nikki wiped at her eyes fruitlessly as it only hindered the tears momentarily, "Mom told us all, when we were really little that our Purple was formed from the shattered prism to save what could be of what was broken, but it would forever be tied to the original prism. Raina's prism." she said brokenly, "Remember Zordon without the tube thing? That kept him stable? How quick we damn near lost him?" she could not speak past that for the tears.

"Ah, shit." Tommy muttered trying to console her, "If you're right something's got to give because I don't want to live on this planet anymore if she dies."

"I don't know what to do anymore," Nikki managed to regain some control over her emotions to answer him, "Nothing's done any good for years, and has to stop." Nikki covered her face as a worse thought came to mind, "If that prism breaks, it's not going to be just Raina that suffers," Guilt and fear crept up her spine at the thought of so many innocent people in danger because of a silly, stupid feud.

"You mean, like everybody, even my parents," he said quietly as realization of the depth of the potential ramifications dawned on him. "This is bad, and this is bigger than us, Nikki this is going a lot of work."

"It's bigger than you know," Nikki said looking up at him, "Potentially it could harm the kids, and if that happens, there is no hope for any of us."

"What do we do?" Tommy asked taking her hands into his, "We can't let it happen."

"I don't know." Nikki answered shakily as fresh tears flowed freely down her cheeks.


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter Fifty-Six

I awoke with a tender, sensitive stomach, one that demanded sustenance but nothing that would actually rock the fragile balance of spending a day throwing my guts up or sleeping in fitful, restless spurts. I remembered vaguely different people coming into the room and sitting with me. I knew Nikki had, her voice and energy as unmistakable as my own, and Autumn, in her fitful worry had come in just long enough to reassure herself that I was okay, and Elrond had spent the later half of the night reading, I remembered the soft shuffle of papers even as I dozed by then. I also remembered hearing voices, his and someone else's conversing but what I couldn't be sure anymore as I gingerly climbed out of the bed.

The room spun slightly as I put both feet on the floor, carefully waiting to ensure that I didn't grow lightheaded or need to return to the bed and I was relieved to know that my biggest concern was a dire need for the facilities and a slight hunger. I made my way to the lavatory and took care of what I needed to there, not the least changing into fresh, light weight clothing. The walk to the breakfast nook was not a long one, though to me it felt ongoing eternally when I heard voices talking and laughing; something which made me smile slightly as I paused in the doorway only halfway because I wanted to enjoy it.

If bedlam could be controlled, with a gentle guiding hand I was looking at it when my eyes met a pair of surprised grey ones. Within an instant, Elrond was on his feet to guide me the last few feet to my seat, which seemed to have become permanently the one to Elrond's side, across from Erestor. "You should not be up," he said lowly as we walked to the table.

I gave him a slight look and smiled gently, "What I should do, and what I actually do are very often not the same."

"Indeed," Elrond's smile was slight and gentle as he turned to pull my chair out so I could sit, "What can I get you this morning?" he inquired tucking my chair in.

"Not coffee." I answered wincing at the idea, "Just something gentle so that I don't have another bout of this."

I felt the flicker of surprise, clearly the fact that I had not wanted coffee had taken him off guard, "All right," the answer was cautious and I was soon looking at a small bowl with a poached egg and a cup of tea, that had been slightly sweetened. It was a simple, not-quite bland breakfast but it did wonders to soothe the irritated lining of my stomach.

The meal was winding down really before my arrival, though some seemed intent to linger over a last cup of a steaming beverage, partly I realized that my sudden illness had taken some of them off guard. Nikki seemed particularly contemplative that morning and I realized suddenly that there were several silent conversations going on around me and it was rather sweetly annoying for me.

After I finished eating, I opted to go to the veranda that I could see a sizeable portion of the city from and stretched out on the lounge chair fully intending honestly to doze in the sunbeams that filtered through the foliage above my head. I was vaguely curious what had Nikki and Elrond walking toward his study, though I wasn't curious enough to sacrifice my nap in the sun versus the stuffy, slightly sick-smelling bedroom.

There were few things Nikki liked less than feeling as though she were in her old high school principal's office, which is what she felt at that minute as Elrond opted for the less formal pose of leaning on the front of his desk giving her a look that was half curiosity and half exasperation, the slight gesture of his hand indicating that he was prepared to listen to her.

Nikki blew out a breath and decided to start with the easier of the words she felt she needed to say, and what she knew she had to tell him. "First, I want to apologize for completely losing my temper before dinner the other evening. It was totally out of line, and I apologize completely for how I said what I said but I'm not sorry I stood up for Glorfindel and Erestor."

Elrond considered her words and smiled slightly, "None were more surprised than they that you would do so. On behalf of Rivendell I accept the apology. With that said, is there something else?"

Nikki bit her lip and reluctantly nodded, "I'm afraid so. I've been thinking about how suddenly Raina got sick and I know it was Cayden's stomach thing he had but I'm becoming worried about another issue." She hung her head, "I'm afraid all the fighting between us five is going to kill her, its subtle now but you can't tell me you don't see it."

"I have." he answered her with narrowing eyes, "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that the five of us - well really four of us since Autumn has basically continued to avoid us and may be able to find her own footing without us - we need to have some serious help maybe bigger than what you can do cause we're destroying Raina on an emotional level and that's not fair to her and it's not fair to you." she said directly.

He blew out a breath looking down at the woman thoughtfully, "Give me half a day to think and perhaps, gently coax Raina into helping me find a solution that I can actually accomplish before you children actually destroy someone."

"Please do, we're going to run out of time, if she's getting sick - which if you didn't notice Raina doesn't normally."

"I had." he nodded slightly, "A half day's time I will need, to think and to consider though I should warn you ahead of time, my solution will not brook argument and I cannot guarantee that any of you will like it."

"Lord Elrond, we learned a long time ago life's not always fair its making the best of the pieces you get that makes it worth the struggling."

"So it might be." Elrond answered moving to let her out of the study and each went their own direction.

"Should you not be resting still after your day yesterday?" Erestor's voice was faintly, almost fondly scolding as I looked up at him through the opened door to his work area.

"Probably, but I slept enough yesterday that I cannot anymore today." I answered, "I came hoping you would have access or knowledge where I might find a large piece of blank parchment and something I can draw with and erase mistakes from?" I asked tilting my head at him.

"I have it yes," Erestor answered me smiling slightly as he turned to walk to one of the infinitely many shelves in his work area and within a few minutes I was carrying two large rolls of parchment, a package of new charcoals and a tool to remove it in case I needed it down the corridors to the open balcony of the library and spread out the parchment and began a rough sketch of what I wanted.

I did not realize that I was being watched for several minutes, not until I lifted my head to brush a stubborn strand of hair back away from my face, making a line of charcoal across my temple as I did from the dust on my fingers. "What are you working on, Raina?" Elrond's voice was soft, intending not to startle me as I blinked at him a bit surprised to find anyone standing in the doorway for several hours at least.

"Just an idea I had while my mind was the only part of me that wasn't completely invested in sleep." I answered him as I waved him closer so that he could see what it was without me trying to explain it.

"What in the havens, woman." he murmured the words a question, yet the tone was milder than that, without the slight lilting upturn of one as he looked over my diagram. I had gotten a good ways, my sketching perhaps rocky but the image I wanted was there. I had devised a cruelly kind track for them to have a set timeframe to complete and it was a winding, painful thing filled with pitfalls, and it would not be built in a day that I knew given what I had planned out.

"A painful lesson for a group of spoiled children." I answered grimly, "I'm tired of them all acting like chiefs and having poor Autumn stuck as the war booty that can't win for her losing." I looked up at Elrond with a frown, "and I'm tired of trying to keep their prism safe when it's their own damn job."

"Easy, getting yourself worked up is not going to be helpful, Raina." he said soothingly as his fingers brushed against my shoulder blades in an almost unconscious gesture tracing the path, "You have a dangerous mind when provoked, you know this where did you learn this from?"

"The sketching or the contents?" I asked beginning to fine-tune it as we were talking moving here and there to make corrections and edits as I spoke.

"Both, actually." he answered me watching both my doings and my face as I stopped moving and looked up at him through a stubborn fringe of hair that refused to stay back out of my way.

"Sketching I learned somewhere along the way as a hobby, or way to show what I wanted to someone so they could understand what I wanted when words were no option. This," I paused and gestured at the sketching on the parchment, "Is what is going to make them or break them."

Elrond eased himself into a chair facing me as he frowned slightly, "Would you explain, again if we did discuss it before this prism you speak of?" he asked watching me for a moment.

"I can certainly try to explain it," I answered pulling one of the chairs around so we were facing each other, "I think I spoke to you before about the team I was part of, and how we were destroyed from within by one of our own?" He nodded though I could sense that Elrond wasn't quite certain he remembered minute details of that conversation, "A prism, a gem of a sorts I could liken it to," I said thoughtfully removing the pendant I wore, holding it aloft so that the sunlight would stream through it creating the rainbow of colors. In my particular pendant the dominant color was blue, like my own color had once been. Elrond was as distracted by this as I was for a moment and I waited until his gaze returned to mine to continue speaking, "When the prism to which mine was linked was shattered, the light fell into different arrays, mine remained mostly whole, more than the others' did. That shattering had an unexpected development, in that it formed a Purple Prism, the Power which they all hold by birth through our shared mother. It is the only time a single entity, a single prism," I clarified for him quietly, "Has ever been split between any, let alone between five stubborn, mule-headed women who all but one want to be in charge." I replaced the pendant under the one from him smiling slightly, "If their prism breaks, and I cannot promise it will not with all their fighting, Elrond." I sighed and allowed some of the held-in worry to creep forward into my expression, "If it breaks it could kill me as well in the process because it is part of the same original, shattered prism."

The frown that had formed on his face had deepened to something nearer to a scowl than a frown, "And you have kept this knowledge inside yourself for what purpose?" he asked, not quite managing to mask the hurt and the concern.

"Because I did not want you to worry unnecessarily, I bring this up now because I had hoped that they could have worked it out already. Unfortunately, that is not the case." I answered sighing deeply giving a weary smile, "I am also accustomed to dealing with my own issues, on my own so I apologize if I should have done differently."

He exhaled deeply, and I could feel him forcibly dispersing his frustration that leaned toward anger, "There are times, I must remind myself that you are still adjusting to this whole idea of what is between us, and the depth to it. I know it frightens you," he said quietly turning the conversation to a different direction as I closed the clasp of the chain around my neck again.

_Damn, did I become transparent or something?_ I asked myself briefly as he reached for my hands squeezing them gently, "I'm learning just on a really slow curve about that sharing thing people are supposed to do."

The laugh sent a shiver up my spine as he pulled gently on both of my hands so that I was standing closer to him giving an opportunity to be nearly eye level the smile slight, "That's a bit like that attraction-thing you are not sure how you feel about overall other than the fact that you can't quite stop yourself in either case?"

"Yeah that about sums it up. Would you excuse me to finish this up the sooner I get my draft done the sooner I can possibly get this going."

Hours later I was on my way to Glorfindel's office carrying my rolled parchment with me knowing that if anyone would know how to get my plan in motion it would be the city's Seneschal as much of his workforce would be needed. "Milady?" I heard the slightly musical voice dance on the air of the corridor and I automatically spun around as if expecting to see another person in the same hallway and for a moment I was bewildered as he opened a door and gestured me inside, "I forget, you are still adapting to our ways at times, please come in."

It was clearly the space of an elf who was comfortable in his skin, slightly disorganized, comfortable and decorated much as I would have expected with several clearly functioning blades mounted to the walls as I looked around he took his seat.

"I need help getting a new workout path, its designed to promote teamwork," I said handing him the rolled sketch I had finished perhaps an hour before smiling slightly, "I have had enough of their nonsense and I plan to unleash this before they destroy more than they know." I said quietly as sharp blue eyes studied my work.

"You are a clever, cruel little thing, I hope Elrond never upsets you to this level," he said conversationally as he traced the long trek, and I could almost see him calculating the distance I wanted between obstacles and what they were, "You planned this to be the better part of the span of fifteen miles, did you not?"

"That was my guesstimate, between ten and fifteen miles of space required, I am assuming that there is such a space available for this."

"Provided when you are through with it, I may keep it and your drawings for use of my guards I would be more than pleased to begin the preparations for this." Glorfindel nodded with a wicked smile, "Next time you feel itchy, kitten feel free to bring me more ideas to torture them."

I smiled slightly, "I am more interested in teaching them than torture actually, though I admit this is rather extreme."

"So is their behavior, Raina." Glorfindel answered quietly setting the parchment roll onto his cluttered desk with a small, tentative smile, "Give me about a week, and I'll have your course ready for you and then we shall see what those children are truly made of."


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter Fifty-Seven

I caught the distinctive bite of brewed coffee and I turned automatically toward the smell, smiling up at Elrond who was carrying it and a mug for himself and reached greedily for the steaming mug. I needed to be completely alert for what I was about to spring on all of them - at my request Glorfindel had kept the project under close wraps including only those who absolutely had to know what was going on. "Good morning," He greeted me with a tired smile as I took the first prized sip of the mug.

I didn't bother disguising the pleased purr that rose from my chest at the taste on my tongue, "It is now," I smiled, "I have coffee and I have a minute to see you in the calm before the storm I am about to unleash."

His laugh was low, pleasantly so as it softened the sometimes harsh features of the elf's face. "I am sure it will be enjoyable this project that you devised and convinced Glorfindel to unleash."

I looked up at him with a slightly devilish look, not at all able to contain my personal enjoyment of what I was about to do, as they were all arriving, including husbands and mentors which was just as I had instructed. "Just enjoy the floor show, Elrond I am certain that I will."

I turned toward the gathered group, pleased that several of them had been, very likely unceremoniously dumped out of their beds as I saw that Glorfindel and Erestor had arrived with the supplies I had requisitioned for them. "Good morning," I called out flashing a bright, very awake smile that did not betray the fact there was not a thing I longed for more than my warm blankets, preferably with Elrond as a private bonus.

"Morning, why are we up before dawn?" Nikki asked stifling the yawn as I raised the mug to my lips again.

"Because you have until sunset to complete the ten-mile course that begins here." I answered brutally, "In it you will find different obstacles, and challenges which must be completed by all of you in order for each of you to pass. It is all pass or all fail." I paused and looked at the elves standing behind them, "With one exception your post in this is border assurances, I do not want them interrupted as there is a hard and fast time limit. Glorfindel will clarify your individual assignments, with the exception of Rumil whose function is to assist Autumn in what she requires, on the grounds that Autumn, without an assistant would be an unfair handicap. Your husbands," I eyed the younger twins, "Are also expected to complete this at the same time."

"And the children?" Destiny asked stepping forward to be more clearly seen in the growing dawn.

"Your children are in the capable hands of the stable grooms and will spend their day learning more about the horses they are so fascinated by." I answered with a small smile, as several guards set down boxes beside me, "From these boxes each of you may take three things which you believe will assist you in the day's course. You have until sunset to complete it."

I felt the hand on my shoulder and looked up to find Elrond's concerned face looking back at me as they vanished into my course, "I know how it feels," he said in a soft murmur, "To fear you have set them up to fail, in the hope that you will be proven wrong."

"She is absolutely out of her damn mind!" Willow protested as they stood before the first obstacle, not even a sixteenth of a mile into the trek.

"Probably," Destiny agreed warily looking up at the first wall, and privately bet herself that Raina had more than walls involved, "Being pushed to the brink of sanity tends to bring out the crazy in everyone."

"Bitching about Raina isn't going to get anybody over that wall," Nikki interrupted looking up at it as Tommy began examining it, noticing that there was no way around it. Raina had designed an ideal roadblock.

"Fine, since you're so smart you get over it first," Willow sniped at her as Nikki flashed a confident smile.

Nikki turned and studied the wall intently, "Well if this is her idea of welcome I don't know that I want to think about her idea of hard." she said aloud as she saw an initial way up only to find that the next reach was too far away for her, but someone like Willow or Destiny who was taller could easily. "We're going to have to spider monkey this one," she said pointing out several reaches that she and Autumn were going to struggle with whereas the others would not.

It would take the better part of an hour to get all of them over the wall, ending with Autumn who was understandably boosted by Rumil who had scaled it behind her easily and kept her from falling. "We keep going, I think we're going to have a run here for a bit," Tommy suggested looking ahead.

"Whoa!" Tommy said placing his arms behind him to stop the others from running into him an hour later, "Rope bridge," he said as Rumil easily slipped around to the front.

"Hithlain - elven rope," he clarified with a slightly relieved smile, "Stronger than any rope in your bags, and it will not unravel unless the one who knotted it commands it. Move along," he said shaking his head, "You are all not even a third of the way through." He caught hold of Autumn's shoulder subtly shaking his head, betting against himself that at least one of them would get a cold bath.

"You do know she's set us up on this one," Destiny said looking across the rope bridge and the rushing water below, "One of us odds are going in that water."

"We deal with it when we get there," Jason said reassuringly, "Let's just see how it goes."

One by one they began the slow sliding walk over the rope bridge, only slightly comforted by Rumil's assurance that the rope would hold all of them even as the wind picked up, causing the rope bridge to sway slightly with it.

Kris uttered a sharp shriek as her foot slipped off of the rope and she clung to the rope freezing there as Destiny slipped forward clinging to the rope with both hands. "Trust me," Destiny said to her as Kris' wide eyed look was abject terror, "Come on, let's not both get a bath." she said gripping Kris' wrist as she reached once and held tightly to it as Kris pulled herself up swaying the bridge wildly causing Destiny to have to tighten the grip with her other hand. "Come on, let's move," Destiny prodded Kris as they were the last two to cross the bridge before Rumil and Autumn.

About four miles down the path they were faced with the next obstacle, this time a large gorge with wild underbrush growing natively across the walls and bottom, twisting and thorny as Kris whistled softly, "Okay oh fearless leader what do you think we should do?" she glanced at Willow though it was clear she was speaking to Nikki.

Nikki turned to look at Rumil, "I know you telling us what to do breaks the rules, but what can you tell me about this gorge?" she asked taking deep breath betting herself that it was bigger than could see.

Rumil was quiet for a few minutes looking to his left and right before straight ahead his brow furrowing, "This gorge is approximately a city block long and wide which means the most direct path if you want an opinion is through it in the interest of time, of which you are now five hours into the day."

"Can't go over it, can't go around it," She sighed, "We only have till sunset that means we go in it."

"Wait," Tommy said suddenly as he realized after a few paces into the wild, and the growth was nearly at his hip, "This is going to get really deep, ladies, the last thing we all need is to get someone short lost in the green here."

"The ropes," Willow suggested holding up her own, "Around the waist maybe and that way we can kind of stay together, you got a point cause if not everyone gets to the end, then we all fail."

Within minutes they had tied themselves together, but for Rumil who was walking beside Autumn silently as they began the trek down the gorge trying not to run but the slope of it was designed to cause just that effect. It was like watching a house of cards come tumbling down when Tommy slipped first on the foliage and fell followed in short order by Nikki and right down the line including Autumn when the giggling fit began with Autumn all the way through them, even as Rumil eyed them slightly impatiently for the fit to subside.

It would take a little while before the girls especially would settle down enough to try walking up the other side where Rumil had easily walked to the top and decided that he was hurting nothing by ensuring they didn't fall backwards with the occasional giggling spasm by standing on the edge of the gorge and helping them one by one by acting as a brace against which they could grab and pull themselves up and begin untangling themselves from each other and the rope which Willow carefully put away.

Approximately another mile and a half into the designated path, Nikki stopped short as she realized that she in no way recognized the woods they were in the middle of, looking around she said, "Where the hell are we? Are we even going the right way anymore?"

"I think we're okay, Babe." Tommy turning to look at her, "The sun's still to our east heading west like it should be, which is the way Raina pointed when this started. Let's just try to stay on this general path and see where we end up."

"Not to rain on anybody's parade, but we're at noon." Rumil pointed out calmly, more than he actually felt on their behalf, "And if my estimation is correct, I doubt I am wrong you're not quite halfway and time flies on wings."

"No, that's a skunk in the picnic, thanks." Willow snapped at him even as Kris tried to get her to stop, shaking off her hand from one shoulder.

"And arguing with the damn elf is going to do what besides waste minutes, we have a long way to go. Raina said this trip down memory lane was gonna be about ten miles give or take. If he's right we've gone less than five, we gotta go and if you're talking Willow you're not walking. So move."

Destiny ducked her head and walked around the two in order stand closer to Autumn as she and Nikki began cautiously walking forward, "I don't know what flew up her butt, Nikki but wow."

"No kidding," Nikki murmured as the forest thickened and darkened despite it being noon time. "Well, we pissed her off, I guess we gotta keep going. God knows what's next."

"Do we want to know?" Destiny murmured as only the occasional flicker of a purple light told of the path to go.

"Not really, but I would rather get off Raina's shit list life pretty much sucks on it." Nikki remarked as the path took a jarring and unexpected spin to their left and there Nikki could just hear the sound of a river, "Ah shit." Nikki muttered as the sound grew louder with every step.

"That's one way to put it," Tommy said as they gathered on the fragile bank of the rushing river, "Is there a way across that you can see?"

"There's a way but its guarded." Kris pointed out as her gaze focused into the brighter light near the river versus the cooler, darker forest...


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter Fifty-Eight

The group of eight turned together toward the direction Kris was facing, and saw that there were two large elven-made boats waiting for them yet, there was another obstacle in that the sons of Elrond were standing arms crossed over their chests. Both of their expressions were cool, emotionless and clearly annoyed to see them at all. "You are late." Elladan said looking at them with a look that was faintly disdainful.

"No shit, elf-boy I'm aware of that." Nikki snapped before she could think to stifle that and respond more politely.

"That is no way to get anywhere near what you require to complete this task before you." Elladan's tone was coldly rebuking as his gaze met hers. It was jarring, more to Nikki than the others to meet the facet of the elf's personality that was formal, cool and edging toward vicious.

"I apologize," Nikki said sighing deeply, "It's been a long morning and there's a lot more to go." she said taking a deep breath, "Is there something you need from us or are you just guarding the boats?" she asked being as direct as possible without being rude.

"The boats you may have to use when this riddle you complete." Elrohir answered her as Elladan fell silent.

"Okay, what is your riddle?" Nikki asked, half relieved that even Willow was letting her take the reins on this situation, undoubtedly otherwise would cost too much time.

"A box without hinges, key or lid," Elladan began knowing that doing so would confuse as Elrohir finished.

"Yet golden treasure inside is hid."

"What did I just hear?" Willow asked exasperated almost immediately.

"Shut up so I can think," Destiny snapped knowing that time was quickly growing short. She murmured the riddle to herself as Tommy and Jason began a familiar circling pacing that they had done years before.

"It's an egg, "Autumn broke in suddenly, "It's the only thing that fits. It's kind of a box," she argued at Willow's disbelieving look, "I say it's an egg." she repeated as Elladan's gaze fell upon her.

"So it is, mind over matter, and riddle is solved. ` Inside you will find fresh water and oars which we will in return ensure safe passage over the river."

"How did you figure that out?" Nikki turned toward Autumn smiling more than a little relieved that someone had figured out the riddle and so quickly.

"I read a lot, not too much else to do when you're alone." Autumn pointed out as they began piling into the boats each seat having a small flask of water and a biscuit on it.

"Any other riddles, I'm taking your word on the answer," Nikki said as they were guided over the river, instead steering the boats themselves.

Thirty minutes later, they were assisted out of the boats and Elrohir pointed up the path marked by purple streaming ribbons, "Up ahead your path diverges one way will take you to a rope bridge which will then continue your way the other will lead to cave from which there will be no return and neither path apparent until too late, that is the warning of the one called High Guardian." It was clear in his voice that he did not understand all of the words but Nikki did.

"Another test within a test," She said looking between her sisters, "We've done okay so far, but when the road forks, we all have to agree." She looked up at Willow smiling slightly, "That means no splitting up and we all either cross the bridge and have a chance or Raina fails us all and we're all screwed, I don't know what she'll do to us in return. It's like being on Phaedos all those years ago," She said quietly, "Except it was Mom and Mom wanted us to succeed. Raina, I don't know what she expects. I expect to finish this course."

"Let's just hope we pick right as a group," Willow said without acknowledging Nikki's words otherwise.

It would be about three miles up the steep incline when the road forked into two opposing directions. Neither one was well-lit or indicative of what was on the other end, which meant using deduction and reasoning with a bit of luck it seemed.

"Well here it is," Jason said as they gathered together on the fork of the road, "Elladan wasn't kidding when he said there were no clues."

"Yes there are." Nikki said thoughtfully, "It's been this whole day, we just have to think, and reason like adults to figure it out."

"Boy that'll be a stretch for you," Willow snapped at Nikki.

"Now is not the time for this, be a bitch later." Autumn had clearly had enough of Willow's consistent sniping and comments, "You can go back to being a spiteful fairy when we get back to Rivendell until Lord Elrond kills you for what you do to the rest of us. I'm sick of it!" She was shouting by the end of her sentences.

"Oh great you too?" Willow turned toward Autumn, who was too angry to be scared. "Big words from a baby."

"You shut up, this is exactly what got us into this!" Kris snapped getting between Willow and Autumn glaring at her twin sister pointing her fingers almost in Willow's face, "Right now I don't know about you, I don't want to know what Raina's going to do if we're still here at dusk because we were too busy fighting with you to make a decision."

"Fighting isn't going to solve anything," Jason said quietly looking between the two, "Nikki, you said the clues were already here, what were they?"

"One, most importantly direction, one goes more easterly than the other, and Raina indicated that the end of the course was toward the sunset, at least that's what I understood." She bit her lip thinking about the day already past, "As well the only other clue I picked up was that it winds a bit, nothing is ever a straight line or easy looking." She said pointing at one path that appeared, in her opinion far too uncomplicated.

"Raina doesn't do anything easy, but I agree with Nikki, on the sunset thing. I kind of got the same impression. I say we take the one that goes west not east." Destiny said thoughtfully.

Within a few minutes they had convinced the others, knowing that the bargain was a heavy one, and there was a collective sigh of relief as the first glimpse of another grey-toned rope, this time dangling a wooden plank between two sets. "The bridge." Tommy called out as he had ventured ahead.

Their relief however was short-lived when they realized that the bridge did not connect on the other side on both walls of the ravine. "Oh boy." Kris said as Tommy pulled her back, "Bridge is out."

"Is it now?" The cool voice called out from the other side of the steep ravine. "Funny I seem to have the other piece right here." Haldir's voice rang out a moment before he seemed to appear out of nowhere on the other side of the bridge.

"Great," Nikki muttered, "Kris, what do we do?" She asked quietly, knowing that Kris had the most experience in dealing with Haldir and his way of thinking.

"I don't know, I wasn't expecting to see anyone at all today so your guess is as good as mine." Haldir twirled the rope in his fingers as she was speaking, and for a moment Kris had a terrible suspicion that he was the one that had tied the rope bridges which meant if he tugged on the others they were pretty much screwed. "Um, I know you can't give me the answer an' all but, um what can we do for you so that bridge won't fall?" Kris asked looking intently at Haldir.

"It's not a bridge, Kristina." Haldir called back as he released the end he had been twirling and tugged in a swift movement to drop the second tier and the wood from the ground.

"Oh man," Kris said her eyes widening, "You're meeting us on the other side, if we get there," She said reaching up instinctively as one of the ropes swung toward her.

"Yes, and you have one-quarter hour to get everyone over." Haldir answered placing a time limit on the deed.

"Let's start with me," Tommy said thoughtfully, "If anyone can likely get back up here it'd be me or Jason, Nikki if we fall." He protested at her worried look, "Especially with Haldir's time limit."

It was the longest fifteen minutes of his long life as Rumil assisted in sending the girls one by one across the ravine. Nikki and Destiny were easy tosses, as were Kris and even Willow was not his primary fear when Rumil's gaze flickered over to Haldir as he pulled the rope to hand it to Autumn, "As soon as you are across I will be as well. Haldir will catch you." he said lowly as he guided her to the edge and his heart stopped as she nearly made it and watched helplessly as the smaller hands lose their grip before the edge of the other wall.

"No!" The agony in Nikki's voice matched the constriction in his chest as she recklessly lunged to catch Autumn's hand barely catching it as she felt other hands grabbing hold of her ankles to keep her from going over too. "Swing your other arm up, Baby-girl I've got you." Nikki said urgently as her hand began slipping on Autumn's wrist.

Autumn was squirming, terrified as the boys worked furiously to pull them both up onto the ledge. "I -I can't." She shrieked her feet flailing as Kris grabbed hold of Tommy's shirt trying to add the leverage to pull them both up.

"Yes, you can." Nikki was outwardly calm though she knew that her tendency to act first then think second had her in hot water, "Come on you can do this, I've got your hand you have to trust me." She said as there was the sudden whirl of air overhead as Tommy saw Rumil's hand reach over his and grab the back of Nikki's pants and pulled hard so that both would come up over the edge and he set them down as Autumn burst into tears.

"Hey, it's okay." Nikki said recovering at the first sniffle as she pulled Autumn to her in a hug, "That's why Rumil was allowed to help, you not me." She said stroking over the chestnut waves, "Come on, let's get a sip of water, wipe your eyes and see what else the Doom Kitty has in store for us." She said helping Autumn to her feet as she did, trying to interject a bit of humor into a stressful day.

The next three miles were long, winding and they picked up speed as they realized that they were coming at long last to the rough end slope of Raina's course in many things. It was disheartening to realize that the rock wall was not only the face of a rather rough hill, but Nikki strongly suspected there was another nasty surprise on the other side of it.

"Be careful," She called up to Tommy, who was almost to the top of the hill and cringed when he whistled.

"Oh man, this is going to be dicey as shit, careful." Tommy said staring out over the other side of the hill, "And if you guys ever piss her off like this again count me out of this." He said as Jason and Kris appeared first followed by the others.

Clearly Raina had become more and more irate with the progression of the design to the course, as the last two events seemed to merge into one nerve-wracking spiral that likely was going to end in a series of nail biting events. The current long, winding bridge that Tommy could see went directly into the growing dark of the forest that he could just see the clearing that they were supposed to go to. "We've got to go single-file and I think it should be Nikki in the front, and me and then you guys come up behind. Rumil, would you mind staying close to Autumn?" He asked as the elf nodded, more than happy to stay near to where the young woman was, allowing his hand to rest on her shoulder comfortingly as they began the winding trek along the bridge that dumped them in the middle of a forest.

They were beginning to run out of time, as Nikki picked up the pace to prod the others into the same ignoring Willow's constant string of swearing complaints that her feet hurt and how rope burned her hands were from the constant use of them as the bridge dumped them all unceremoniously in the middle of a forest when a flash of purple caught Destiny's eye.

"That way." she said pointing to where the smoke was all that remained of the purple flare that had caught her attention.

"Are you sure?" Nikki asked as she had to stop walking catching her breath looking intently at her twin. "We're almost out of time, Des."

"I'm sure. I don't know what's coming but I am sure that we're almost there." Destiny answered as she had to sit down, leaning her back on a nearby tree, "We don't have a lot of time, Nikki but please, Autumn's got to stop for a few minutes." she said as Rumil was partly keeping the young woman on her feet, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"All right," Nikki frowning clearly not liking the idea but she knew that without a few minutes rest they were going to risk injuries. "We'll stop for about fifteen minutes that's all I dare because there's no telling how long the last two miles are going to actually be."

"We're that close?" Kris sounded dubious, "We should get going then, and hurry look at the sun." she pointed to the west with an anxious look.

The tired group began the long trek down the last portion of the mountain, that Nikki wondered wasn't some winding path into the city of Rivendell that they hadn't been shown before when unexpectedly Autumn's footing slipped and she landed roughly on the ground and began sliding down the sharp incline that had been partially to blame for her losing her footing. "Help!" She shouted, her voice echoing off the sides of the mountains surrounding them.

"You stay here," Tommy said glaring at Nikki who was already trying to see a way down, "Even if you get down there, Babe there's no way you can climb that hill in time."

"She can't," Rumil said quietly, "I can." he said firmly shifting the bag he'd been carrying so that it was on the ground near Nikki's feet. "Stay here." he demanded as he approached the edge near where Autumn had slipped and began the trek down the side without wasting much time.

_Clever little witch when crossed, I'll have to remember that._ Rumil thought as he felt his feet finally meet flat ground and covered the distance to Autumn, her tears a knife in the stomach as he knelt before her. "It will be all right," he said quietly managing to soften his gaze as he reached to wipe away her tears.

"No it won't, I go and fall like an idiot and I think I broke my stupid ankle to boot." Autumn was upset and her tirade was only going to wear her remaining strength quickly.

He decided against pointing out that it could have been her neck, and instead pulled her into an embrace, blatantly ignoring the insistent demand from Willow to get a move on. "When we arrive at the top I will wrap it to make the rest of the journey more comfortable." he said quietly, "For now you'll have to climb up on my back as I need both of my hands to climb."

It was not the most difficult endeavor he had ever undertaken, to climb back up the side, but it was certainly one he wouldn't have minded giving a solid slice of his thoughts to the craven wretch that designed the course given that it had gotten Autumn hurt even with his careful eye on her. _On second thought, the little witch'll probably burn my ears havens know she uses the elven tongue well enough._ he nodded as he saw the two men poised to help pull him over the side again.

"Be still," Rumil snapped causing Nikki and Destiny to back up, staring at him as he would carefully guide Autumn to sit on the grass taking her ankle gently into his hands.

Autumn's eyes welled with tears as he would gently feel the tendons, ligaments and the bones before they spilled over, though his serious gaze softened as they did. "How bad is it?"

"You will not be walking on it, the sprain is that severe but I can wrap it and support your weight through the last of this course." he said firmly as he reached for his pack before removing her boot to pull out a long, three-inch bandage, smirking at her look. "It is not your job to think of all things, little bird but mine." he said quietly lowering his voice so that only Autumn would hear his words.

"We're almost out of time and I go and ruin everything by falling and wasting time making you come down here, we're not going to make it." Tears streamed as he pulled her gently close for a hug.

"It's not your fault," He insisted as he felt Autumn's arms wrap around his neck sobbing, "You didn't fall on purpose these things happen sometimes." He insisted gently rubbing her back soothingly as she reluctantly climbed to her feet and smiled as the young woman struggled to stand. "As I thought, come on then." he said lifting her easily into a carrying hold. "You're not walking the last of it, that Doom Kitty'll rip my face clean off if I don't look after you closer since your ankle's sprained."

It was a somber, brisk walk that edged toward a jog to try to make up for the lost time, even if it was not intentional on anyone's part. Forty-five minutes later they were standing on the edge of a large glade, where in the center stood a single elf. "Lord Glorfindel?" Nikki asked stepping into the glade not able to mask her confusion or fatigue from the elf.

A glimmer of anger shone in his features, controlled as the honed blade that the elf was leaning against the hilt of, "Do you know why you have been stopped here, so close to your goal?"

"Because like the literal obstacles sent to test will, drive and our ability to work together, you are a test." Nikki answered as tears filled her eyes partly in frustration as she looked up at him, standing as the groups spokesperson. "Not all of which we managed to do truly successfully."

"The most important of which you did not manage." There was ice in the ancient elf's voice and in the demeanor which was not particularly welcoming in any sense, "The price of which will reach far."

"I know," The tears Nikki had been holding back shattered the dam against which they had been held in check, "Our fighting's causing a rift between us but its killing Raina and that's the last thing I ever wanted or expected to happen."

"You know already about the unexpected events life is fond of throwing at individuals." Glorfindel's gaze was stern, "You honestly thought, all of you that your petty feud was not going to spread as a disease through your family? That your family could survive this," he gestured angrily at the space between Nikki and Willow which was more than merely physical. "Clearly you all have much more growing up to do."

"We do," Tommy spoke up keeping the anger he felt out of his voice and his body language as he moved to stand near Nikki, "And there's a lot that can be said about the fact that despite the fact it wasn't perfect today - the bickering and the fighting were really aggravating in fact but we got through it and nobody's murdered each other yet."

Glorfindel nodded once and glanced back toward the only remaining path out of the glade his gaze wary, "I impart upon you only this, pearl of thought with which to carry you the last distance to the end of your journey. 'A mouth without mind can speak, a heart without beat cannot and a spirit made wingless cannot fly'." He said moving out of the center to let them pass.

"What did he mean by that?" Kris asked aloud as they were walking through the dense forest trying to hurry without causing Rumil to risk dropping Autumn who was by then resting her head on his shoulder with her eyes closed.

The answer seemed indeterminable judging by the silence that rang out in the forest as the tired set of individuals sent on a difficult course to learn perhaps how to work together even if they couldn't get along. Only time would tell what the result of that would be as they arrived at the final clearing met with the vision that Nikki at least was half illusion brought on by the sun's final descent into the horizon illuminating the only figure visible to them sitting patiently, her head bowed as if in prayer or deep thought a long wooden staff resting across her knees...


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter Fifty-Nine

I could feel their eyes on me as I silently counted steps, though I knew already of Autumn's injury and I was pleased inwardly that they had opted, as I had left them the opportunity to, utilize Rumil's physical endurance to risking their own. I also sensed underneath the mask, an anger that was a lit fuse that I wanted to shut down. I focused on them first as I rose mindless of any grass that might be clinging to my clothing as I used the staff more for function and balance than they knew. I saw and felt Autumn's fear of my disappointment in her and I locked how devastated I was about her injury behind my businesslike mask and addressed them, ignoring the others completely. "How severe is the injury to your ankle, Autumn?" I kept my gaze on hers until she would finally answer me.

"I - I don't know." She stammered and I saw that she was afraid of me and I hated that knowledge as she spoke again after looking up at Rumil for reassurance, "It hurts a lot and Rumil won't let me stand on it." I heard the frustration and allowed myself to show a glimmer of affection to her.

"Go, get it tended to and if you are allowed, you may return." I said knowing that my words were brisk and businesslike but my tone was gentler, and more kind than the one I planned to unleash on the others. I waited for them to leave before I turned toward the others locking down my emotions behind the doors slamming them in order to ruthlessly deal with the group of them that had become so problematic. "How is it I can give a simple task and you all fail?" I asked all of them and none of them allowing my irritation to flare through to them. "I have no use for excuses, for your pleading words. You have all failed this task and not for the reason your petty stupid little minds shall make your mouths say." I continued raising my voice so that it would carry. "Whichever is later, three days or Autumn's release by the healers, the result will be defined and may each of you be able to live with the consequences." I finished and turned my back to them, fully anticipating the response to come and rather relishing in it.

I was not disappointed in that Nikki's protest was verbal, and Willow's was a misguided sprint toward me with I assumed the intent to stop my walk away from them and being naturally and first a warrior I realized that my body knew her intent before my brain had actually recognized it. I felt her hand grip my shoulder and whirled around using the staff as an extension of my limbs and flipped her over onto her back using one end to pin her by the collarbone to the ground, "Unless you intend to meet on the field of battle, do not approach me thusly again." I warned darkly feeling the furious prickle of controlled rage slide along my skin. "One of us will not walk away so easily from the field." I raised my staff and turned again ignoring the protest from Willow about how unfair I was being to her and leaving everyone else alone for the time. Little did she realize what she had cost me.

What I was not sure of was if Nikki was aware of the fact she had finally grown back into a role I had feared she would never – that of the 'leader' of their unique power. She stood between me and the others both hands thrown behind her as if to stop the others and the words "No, don't!" were already forming on her lips. At least not all of the lessons I had given were for naught which was a small comfort in the shadow days. I felt a small treble note of cautious hope ping in my nerves now if only the other pieces would stop draining from me.

I was well over halfway from the end point to the healing wing to find out about Autumn when I was besieged by Elladan and Elrohir both who looked very pale as I glanced up at them, "Please, sit down we can have Father come to you with the news." Elladan's tone was worrisome even to me as his twin's hands firmly nudged me toward the nearby bench.

"I do not know what you two are going on about, I am completely fine." I snapped at Elrohir who backed off a half-step staring at me for a moment.

"No, you are not." Elladan fired back quietly in a tone normally reserved for someone half out of their minds presumably, "You tremble as if chilled, your skin is flushed and damn it all your eyes are lit with light unnatural."

"In the common tongue that is called anger," I retorted icily glaring at him, "Now if you both will pardon me, your attention endearing and thoughtful though it may be, is unnecessary I shall be on my way."

"He told us." Elladan said quietly so that only I would hear him, "We know what has happened to you by way of their destructive behaviors. My question to you is what will you do?"

"Preferably not die," I hissed at him, feeling the pendants I wore bang against each other along my throat as I pulled away from the elder twin with a glare, "I have at least three days to think of something."

I felt their helplessness in addition to my own as I made my way to where I knew Elrond would be, preferably at least until Autumn's ankle were treated. I was beginning to form an idea and I craved someone to talk to who might have the insight I needed as I turned a corner that would not take me actually to the healing wing itself, but to a corridor not far from it and stood before Glorfindel's closed workroom door. I knocked once hesitantly not at all sure how to ask the question that was not properly formed in my own mind.

"You are a sight for tired eyes, _indiell _what troubles you?" Glorfindel answered the door looking genuinely surprised and anxiously at me.

"I need to ask for a listening ear, an idea that might solve the … difficulties, but first may I beg of you a place to sit?" I asked with a hesitant smile.

"For you, my seat if you require it so long as you sit down." Glorfindel's voice held in it the same fretful anxiety that so many others had evidenced. I did sit on the guest couch, flashing a slightly apologetic look to Erestor, who looked far less put out for an interruption than I would have been. Instead he seemed to settle into the seat he already occupied and watched both of us through his darker eyes. I blinked at the goblet dangling before me and heard the exasperated sigh overhead, "Take it, finish it, your careful façade fails you require it." There was a note of finality in his tone that had my hand reaching to accept the offered drink and took a sip of the contents.

I forced myself to take another three sips as he sat down, in part because I still was not wholly sure what thought was bouncing around my own mind. I finally settled on a path as I took another sip and looked to both of the elves, "I hope I have both your pardons in this, for I know not the words in your tongue to explain what idea begins to form for me that might, possibly at least prevent what I fear is going to happen."

"Take all the time that you require, both of us can follow the common tongue well enough." Erestor's voice was calm, steady and a counter to the whirl that Glorfindel's emotions had become at the possibility of averting a potential catastrophe.

"I do not promise not to ramble or confuse even myself," I warned them cautiously shifting my weight to set the staff near my side. "What occurs to me, is that this bond-thing that I confess I do not truly understand might be the key to it all. If that is I can figure out how to," I frowned looking for the right terminology as I could nearly see the light go on in Erestor's clever mind. "Make this work for me, rather than against me."

"Of course," Erestor was on his feet pacing in a way that I recognized as his thinking pattern, "That bond means a part of you is wrapped – like a knot almost I would say - into Elrond's soul and the reverse is true for yourself. Which means, even if physically you are lost, part of you remains for lack of better word, alive." He was clearly several steps ahead of Glorfindel well as myself. He was silent for several moments, and I realized belatedly that they were having a silent conference as well. "It is this strange gift you were born with that is destroying you a bit at a time, is there at all a way for you to bend," he hesitated with the word, "I am reluctant to use the word control but that might be better, warp it perhaps to where if this does what you fear there is something that he could do?"

_It will mean truly accepting this attraction-thing I was not at all comfortable with become a lot more complicated and a whole lot more unavoidable than I had already known it would. There might be a way…_ I was not at all comfortable with the idea, but I nodded slowly, "There might be a way, though if it fails I do not know what will happen to either of us." I answered softly, "His wisdom lost is far more costly than any talent that I might possess."

"You might feel that way, though I do not think all will agree with you." Glorfindel said gently watching me carefully as if searching out a reaction from me as well.

_Probably not,_ I conceded with a silent look aimed at him, "I have at least two nights to make up my mind and determine what path is the one to take for certain."

"I would advise you to make your decision much sooner than that." Erestor shook his head slightly, "Within the next day I would suggest, simply because neither of you are particularly spontaneous in nature."

I hated the fact that he was right, and more I disliked that I could not find a way around doing so. Apparently I was not as skilled at hiding that dislike as Glorfindel's smirk indicated richly that he did pick up on my sentiment. I sighed deeply and allowed myself a minute of annoyance before nodding once, "Fine, I will figure out something as soon as possible."

"You need to," Erestor said quietly his darker eyes resting on mine for a moment, "Raina, the time for dancing around this is past. You have to make up your mind what steps you want to take, not the ones that you think you must take."

_Well that I already know._ I thought bitterly to myself, _I just have to find the courage to do it._ I watched as Glorfindel shook his head and smiled before rising to pull me gently to my feet, "Go, make your peace with what you will do and do it. I would rather see this settled before it cannot be." he said softly nudging me out the door. On some level I had already settled it for myself it was merely time to face the music.

I had been walking slowly for an hour before I found the quiet garden that had been my respite once during a festival I had wanted no part of at the time, that of the spring rebirth. That year had changed me, and I had come to terms with the fact there was no reversing it, but I could accept it. Could I also accept the whole of what had transpired? I laid back in the grass looking up at the sky through the trees contemplating that very thing when a shadow fell over me a moment before a familiar frame settled down near my head.

"Mani dae tegi lhong faer dad edregol im Imladris?" (What shadow brings heavy spirit downward especially in Rivendell?) the murmur was nearly silent as he settled down lapsing I realized into his native tongue in his concern.

"Saer gul nin Brannon. Aniron naba cuino im rhaw nauthu." (Bitter knowledge, my lord. I desire to be alive in flesh not thought." I answered closing my eyes as his fingers wound themselves into my hair.

"Thinnalle bellas, anim aniron cendril maelle." (loosely "Your strength fades, for myself I desire to see you well.") Elrond murmured, "You cannot save them from themselves. And you should stop trying to." He added quietly as his fingers began braiding and unbraiding a section of my hair.

"There is no one else to do it." I answered him with a sigh, "They certainly won't save themselves, today is proof positive of that."

"Look up at me, and answer me this; what is it you want. Do not give me the nonsense of what I should hear or what you think should be the case. What is it you want?"

"What do I want?" I repeated incredulously, "I want to live, a full life with all that goes with it." I heard my voice snap with the emotions I could not contain fully. "I want my own damn life." I felt the hot, angry tears burning my eyes as he brushed his fingers over my cheek.

"You deserve that, my dear." He said softly brushing away a few of my tears. "Anything that you require of me, and I have the ability to give you; You need only to ask."

I drew in a deep breath and met his gaze silently for a moment. "I am going to need someone to protect me when I cannot protect myself." I sensed his trepidation and looked up at him, "What they do not realize is when this is over unless something changes I am going to die." I could feel his emotions drop and turn over and the horrified look in his eyes even as his face was controlled, neutral even, "I do not want to, for the first time in too many years, I have a reason to live and I may not get to. I know there's a way if I can just maneuver it right."

Elrond's hands slipped up under my shoulders to give himself the needed leverage and pulled me into his embrace, "I cannot help you if you do not talk me through your thought processes."

"That is just it, I do not know. Not really anyway it's like I know there is a way but what it is exactly I do not know."

"I would not expect you to have all the answers love." he murmured settling me with a slight shift of his weight for his own comfort, "And I will do all that I can, even if the price is great to stop any harm from coming to you."

"You should not have to." I said softly as one of his arms wrapped around my shoulders so that I could not slip away even in agitation.

"First and foremost you require rest; tomorrow we will seek your answer together." Elrond said firmly before picking me up despite my squeaked protest. "Tonight you sleep peacefully, and tomorrow your answer will reveal itself - no other task is as important."


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter Sixty

_"I remember you being stubborn as a cat about water but I do not recall you being so utterly impossible." The voice behind me was as familiar as my own, causing me to whirl around only to find myself staring at a pale grey tunic before looking upwards._

_ "Okay, clearly there is an issue here; either I'm dead or worse off than I thought…" I trailed off as he placed a fingertip over my lips silencing my words._

_ "This is a dream, old friend nothing more than that." Kielan smiled slightly, "Always when you needed someone to listen it was me that was sought out, why would now be different?"_

_ "Because even seeing the dead in a dream is no advantage," I answered anxiously, "There is so much I want to do, much more I want to see, experience…"_

_ "You found something worth living for, rather than the way to die. Good." Kielan, smiled at me as kind as he had been in life, "What is it you found, that has you fighting back against what the Power does to you?"_

_ I laughed bitterly and shook my head slightly, "Would you believe it, of all things and all this time I fell in love?"_

_ Kielan chuckled once softly and tilted his head, "That is a good reason to want to live, my dear friend. But what does that have to do with the Power?"_

_ "Not him directly, but what the others are doing. Cripes Kiel I have put everything I am on the line and they're still cracking the damn prism – like Soleil did ours! I cannot stop it and save myself at the same time, I can only do one."_

_ "Then stop it." Kielan was as direct in dreams as he was in life, though his tone was considerably less sharp than I remembered as he scowled, "If I know you, and I do you want to stop their destruction and somehow manage to salvage yourself too. You have the key to your own desire, just insert the key into the lock and turn it."_

I was no longer dreaming, but I could hear myself screaming in fear, with eyes open and unable to see anything at all. Panic swelled at the realization of the fact I could not see, nearly drowned out the steady, crystal-clear voice calling out into the darkness I could not see through, though all of my other senses were functioning fine as I fell forward pain shot through my nerves the free-fall sending air whooshing past my ears when I could just hear a voice crying into the shadows of the place.

"Bereth, Lasto beth nin. Tolo dan nan galad," I knew the voice and it sent a surge of shock through my nerves to hear my own name called out in its meaning in the elven tongue, and the free fall slowed and the second call of the same chant, more urgent than the last broke the surface of the shadow in a bright beam of light.

I could not breathe for several seconds as I held on to a pair of shoulders, attached to arms holding firmly to me as I shuddered strongly again the sob of relief causing me to tremble against his chest, "What happened – how did you know?" I asked, my voice muffled by the broad shoulder I was held against trembling.

"Ai, Elbereth." I heard Elrond's muttered oath, against the top of my head as he kissed it the relief he felt sending a surge of emotion through me, "I heard you cry out and you were so cold, I completed the only spell I knew that reached through shadows where you were falling… You frightened me." He said holding me by the shoulders away from his chest a moment to brush my hair back from my face, "Three days my dear, we might have today to figure out anything at all."

Tears swam in my eyes as I looked up at him, a mix of pure relief and fear sending rival swirls of emotion through my already-strained nerves, "I fear that is the case, and I am no closer to understanding anything than I was when I realized what was happening."

"Just rest a moment," he murmured instead of prolonging the potential argument, "My dear, until this is resolved satisfactorily in some way; this is where I choose to place my focus. Something must give Raina, before your mind or body crumbles past a point even my skill may not be able to reach."

"Just before you woke me from the cold, I had been dreaming and the whither to and why for isn't at all important but what was said 'that I already had the key I just had to turn them. I cannot make sense of it."

"One issue I am certain is your brain still requires a baffling amount of coffee, something which has been more than a few hours since the last mug," he smiled slightly, "And I begin to form a solution, one I would not like to bring up when you are potentially explosive. Let us find the breakfast room and the coffee for you first."

The first sip of the steaming liquid on my tongue remained something from just this side of heaven, causing me to sigh quietly as I watched guarded grey eyes contemplating my retelling of the dream I had been having for a few minutes before I shattered the pregnant silence, "When you look like that, it makes me nervous."

Elrond managed a slight smile, "I was merely replaying in my mind that dream conversation you spoke of looking for the answer that clearly your conscious mind is being stubborn about."

I had a pretty good idea about it, which did not mean I liked what I was beginning to string together as I set aside the emptied mug to lean back in the chair with a softer sigh, "I have a pretty good idea, does not mean I like it since it places you in far more danger than you already have done to yourself by being involved with me at all."

"Go on," there was a faint edge to his voice, wrapped in several careful layers of silken velvet to mask the growing agitation that I could just sense as the more neutral expression appeared again. "What is it?"

"I do not think you understand what it is I am afraid of." I hesitated and looked up at the sky, "Everyone – every belonging – that I ever truly valued I have lost in some way. Not all of it my fault, in fact a lot of it has nothing to do directly with me." I amended with a sigh, "So many different people, hurt or killed because of me. I did not – do not want that to be your fate as well."

"This is a time, I am now certain you are overthinking, overanalyzing what has happened without either of us getting the benefit of a say in it." Elrond answered with a softer smile of understanding even as his fingers ran along my hairline, "And I fail to see what one thing has to do with the other."

"Maybe it does not. I happen to believe, within fair reason it does quite a lot. Because, I think that might be the very key my friend and former teammate had to say in a dream. Let me try tackling this a different way so that I will stop tangling myself up in words." I said thoughtfully, tilting my head to look up at him. "Why this pendant, at MidWinter?" I asked playing with the gemstone pendant that was still such a mystery to me looking intently at him.

He looked puzzled by my sudden shift in tactics completely but patient as ever, "Because it suited you." The answer was slow in coming, as if he were carefully weighing words, "And because I wanted you to have something beautiful." He added after another long minute of silence.

I sensed that he wanted to add to that statement, but because he did not I let it drop after another minute or two before sitting up to face him acting not for the first time in my life or the last I was sure on pure instinct as my hands removed carefully the pendant I had worn most of my life. I knelt so that I could see his features clearly as I spoke, nearly at a whisper, "I have never, ever entrusted this to anyone for it remains a piece of me that ties directly into the Shattered prism. The same prism which is being drained to keep theirs stable." I felt my eyes burn and blinked hard to stem the tears, "I am afraid, of what I let happen, and if I cannot end it, it will kill me. I trust you to know when you will need it in order to defend me when I can no longer defend myself." I said placing it into his hand, curling his fingers around it leaving my own there as I did.

"What will I have to do?" Elrond asked in a tone so silent that I almost did not hear the words.

"I do not know," I answered him truthfully, "I only know that it is going to come down to a very small window and a very difficult moment for my sisters before they all come to the same place and stop the nonsense." _If they manage this at all._ "Just promise me that you will do all that you can and it will be enough for me."

Instead of offering an audible response, he leaned forward and kissed my forehead and drew me in close for a few minutes of a silent soothe, "You need a few hours of sleep and tomorrow will bring about another day."

I awoke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and by the time the fog had been penetrated the deliverer had vanished, leaving behind a tray of breakfast pastries, a still-steaming mug of coffee and a box that had a card with my name on it sitting patiently on the top of it. I did not recognize the writing on it as I rolled to examine it closely and found that three lines were written in a gentle scrolling writing though the words were clearly defining the author.

_The midnight sky is always the darkest in the hour before the dawn,_

_A time, in which all things are possible, where dream becomes real and real becomes dream._

_Cast down your dark veil and let shine true your own dawning light._

I set aside the card with a small smile to myself unable to quite stifle my curiosity even as the coffee beckoned me teasingly as a distraction. I lifted the lid to the box and found nestled into the box on a bed of brightly dyed parchments pages carefully folded as if to be part of the gift itself while being the bed for a striking blade that sat patiently sheathed under the top layer of colored sheets.

"Wow," I breathed lifting the blade out of the box and set it aside to examine the gift closer. It was a jeweled softly curved blade, made of a strong metal I did not recognize instantly and felt light as feather in my hands as I looked closer I realized that the dagger had been set in a blue leather sheathe that was carved with delicate vines. That made me smile as it was a frivolous detail that only a master could have conjured up it seemed to me in a matter of hours. The curve to the blade meant that only a master had created both of those items in what was obviously a short time. As I turned over the blade in my hands the small details became clear to me. Each gem set into the handle were smoothed but not cut explicitly to fit the space but picked for the hilt because they belonged. Each gem were a different hue that I realized with a jolt was the same colors that shone through the pendant I had given Elrond for safekeeping when the sun's first ray shone through it. "This is impossible." I said softly to myself reaching for the box to put the dagger into it for safety when a folded parchment in the bland tan hue caught my attention. I traded the blade for the parchment and read the message.

_The inscription you have not noticed on the blade reads in Quenyan 'The night yields always to the dawn of the new day.' ~Erestor, Chief Counselor of Rivendell_

"Smartass." I murmured though the gesture made me smile as it was so like Erestor to supply information before I realized that I actually needed it. As I reached for the coffee mug and began eating before leaving my room to face the day and whatever came with it choosing instead to revel in the quiet of my room knowing that such silence was easily shattered.


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter Sixty-One

I was still determining just who the sender was – I knew that Elrond was by far not done with his small surprises, yet the parchment on the inside was signed by Erestor. I was certain, however of the words which had greeted me first. The writing style, handwriting and the slight curl to the letters was characteristic of Elrond's writing which meant that his hands were in the project even if I was unsure where. That the others, at least one of the elven elders had been involved even indirectly was such a high compliment that I could not help but feel flattered as I headed down to the gardens.

I was intercepted by an exuberant and gleeful Mandy, whose enthusiasm had her speaking so quickly that I could not help but smile even as tired as I was already. She prattled on for a full minute before I tilted her chin and murmured, "Once more, with a few breaths in there, you lost me."

She thrust the children's book at me and spoke again, this time thankfully slower, "I can read this whole book, in Elvish and I understand it."

I smiled pushing the warmth I felt toward the genuinely good-natured child forward as I did, "Really now, let's see if we can find a bench and you can show me this feat you have accomplished." I said without being placating or patronizing, I was genuinely interested as I let her pull me to one of the benches and settled myself patiently as she sat fidgeting playing with the book cover as I did.

It was not a complicated book, truly it was a short practice story about a grey kitten but the bigger matter was the fact that it was ten minutes of my day that a little girl had distracted me with her bright mood and excitement over a small achievement. It was the spark in her eyes that told me that I had chosen well to pull her in when every instinct screamed to push away, that it would ease the hurt later if I did.

It wasn't until much later that I realized that it had not been just one of the elves that had given me that blade, but a collaboration between several had very likely had given birth to the weapon. I was certain that Elrond had envisioned the blade, and had enlisted aid in being able to have the item in such a short time. This was apparent on several levels, because, he had not had the pendant in his possession for long. The gems matched the colors almost too exactly to be otherwise.

"Lady Raina?" I heard the concern in the voice and turned automatically toward it before realizing that the speaker was standing in front of me. "I was sent to inform you by Lord Glorfindel that the preparations you requested several days ago are ready." the guard looking anxiously at me, waiting I realized slowly through my haze for me to give a verbal response.

"Thank you, please have someone inform my sisters and their families that they are to meet me at that location at sunset." I answered managing a small smile as if that would reassure the elf, knowing that he would be unable to do otherwise.

"Right away my Lady will there be anything else?" he inquired carefully.

"No, only this. I will begin my preparations now as mine will take the better part of the remainder of the day." he nodded respectfully and headed off I hoped to deliver my messages.

I, on the other hand had a lot to do before sunset. What I did not realize, was that I was not going to be completing these tasks alone as I would have once. When I arrived at the appointed glade I saw a trio of elves sitting on different rocks patiently awaiting my arrival. "What is this?" I asked carefully as Elrond stepped up off the large boulder he had been using as a chair with a slight smile.

"I told you I would protect you when you could not protect yourself." He replied with a small smile, "And that includes, in my estimation you from yourself." his fingers rose to tuck a strand of hair back out of my eyes so that I would look up at him fully, "We are the extensions of your mind, your body needs what strength remains for what you need to do in a few hours. Let us do this." he said softly guiding me to the boulder that he had been sitting on.

"Since we are going to do it anyway." Elrohir added smiling at me, "So what's the last things you need to do with this stuff?" he said picking up the first of the boxes that were spread in an orderly line along the edge of the clearing.

"What is in it?" I asked settling myself on the rock.

"Looks like the incense you drove the candle makers insane with getting right?" he answered picking one of the thick sticks out of the box to show me.

"There should be four of them." I knew instantly where they were to go, "North, South, East and West." I said pointing where I wanted them, "For the directionality of it." I said as Elrohir moved to do so Elladan began his turn.

It was hard at times, because I was torn between getting up to help and having to envision what I required without doing it myself. At the same time, whenever I would try to help, I was steered firmly back to my rock often with an affectionate touch from whichever of the three had been nearest to intercept my doings.

"Hey Destiny, do you have a minute?" Kris asked sticking her head into the room that Destiny had been given to share with Jason.

"Sure," Destiny looked surprised at the worried look on her sister's face. "Come on in, Cait's sleeping so I'm just cleaning do you mind if I keep going while we talk?"

"Not at all," Kris answered picking up a child's shoe with a smile that didn't meet her eyes, "have you been having weird dreams, about the Power lately or is it me?"

Destiny stopped short between the couch and the chair, reaching to pick up an errant toy, "I've had a few but I figure that's because we pissed off Raina."

"I had a doozy of a dream last night and it scared me big time. Do you mind if I tell you since I can't shake the feeling something's really wrong?"

"You mean aside from the fact that Willow and Nikki are going to end up murdering each other?" Destiny asked recovering her composure.

"No, well yes." Kris answered frowning, "I think it's more than that now. The dream started on Phaedos, when we all had to go to learn what our power was..."

_ Kristina stood in the middle of a forest that she had seen in her youth, as the grown woman she was now looking around when a scream of pain tore across the pregnant stillness propelling her forward blindly but not so much that she would falter._

_ How far she ran she didn't know but when she stopped the location was familiar. It was the same glade that she and her sisters, and their friend had faced Dulcea and Raina to understand their Powers. It had been a surreal experience learning the truth of who they were, and what they had been given. The pair of women had seemed like sages, infallible and wise then and to learn painfully that they were as flesh and blood as everyone else had been a shock._

_ The sight now was very different. In the center stood Raina clad in the tradition Phaedosean garb - the knee-length supple leather skirt and ankle boots were familiar and stained as well was the halter-style top. In her hands stood the broken staff having just fended off one of the attacks with the aid of her own confirmed spirit guide - the large Siberian Tiger was wrapped possessively around Raina's body though it was bleeding profusely as though it had been ravaged._

_ "Oh my God." Kristina breathed aloud, not realizing that they would hear her. "What is going on?"_

_ "You have that answer," the dream-Raina answered her wiping blood from her temple where a large gash flowed freely. "I cannot keep this up, look!" the bloodied hand pointed up where a large Purple Prism hung over head vibrating as large fissures were sealed with a pulsing pale blue light._

_ It was horrifying and Kristina fell to her knees helpless to stop the onslaught of the spirit guides - even her own attacked Raina and each other the scream of agony roaring in her ears as light sped toward her..._

"I woke up crying and shaking so bad I couldn't even go to breakfast this morning." Kris finished explaining her dream "But what does it mean?"

"I think you might have found out what's really going on with Raina, in a dream." Destiny said quietly. "Kris, I think she's dying."

Destiny had confirmed exactly what she had been thinking as Kris nodded, "I hope we're not too late, I mean she just recently started acting halfway normally. Even if the relationship-thing with Lord Elrond is a little weird."

"It's been good for her," Destiny disagreed smiling a bit before sobering, "I think he's why she's not dead, Kris we have to do something."

"Well our judgment is tonight," Kris said thoughtfully, "It's probably our last chance to save all of us."

"If Willow costs us everything, Kristina I warn you I will not be held accountable for what I do to her." Destiny said quietly, the dangerous deadly nature to the more mild mannered twin emerging, "Raina's the closest link we have to Mom, hell she _is _Mom at times."

"Let's just trust the doom-kitty and hope that this works out." Kris suggested as they began finishing the cleaning of the room each of their minds full of the silent worry about the evening to come.

It was just before sunset and they were arriving, sober-eyed and anxious with their families. My adopted family, consisting of several elves stood at appointed places already, stone faced and calm, something that I drew almost as much strength from as I did Elrond's quiet belief in me. I said very little but I was pleased to note that they were taking the places they had been instructed previously by their messengers exactly, even the children.

Behind me the bonfire crackled noisily, cheerfully chewing its way through the piled wood and debris. I was leaning more heavily than I wanted to on the staff out of necessity before beginning a spell that I had not invoked in a great many years, raising my voice in the ancient dialect of my home, the first I had learned as a child summoning the spirit animals which guided those of us bound to the Power, by blood or choice and one by one they began appearing.

I looked around to find that the mighty falcon swooped patiently over Tommy's head. The bird suited him well, his mind was clever his body strong still and his heart was loyal even in its imperfection. I saw the fear and love he had for Nikki. Fear for her safety which he could not, in this assure her and love because he had since their teen years. I hoped it would be enough for them.

Jason hadn't been part of the team which had required Phaedos' help but I was impressed to see the large reddish lion crouched before him protectively and it made me smile slightly. The mighty beast was strong, proud and capable, just as the man was. The hot-headed impulsive teen had grown into a fine man whose hands were currently on the shoulders of his two children keeping them from the innermost circle.

My sisters' spirit guides were slower in coming, Autumn's silvery-white vixen appearing first, winding around her feet before keeping post before her, poised to defend her counterpart. Destiny and Kristina's respective animals came next more slowly than the others as I kept the spell winding struggling at times to keep my voice strong enough to finish the words. As I had feared, a rolling brawl was coming between a large white Siberian tiger, a cheetah and an equally large black and grey bob cat rolled together and collided in a fit of sparks into the flames as I had expected before crouching before the three of us.

"And you asked me why you failed!" I let my voice raise over the din as the two felines squared off at each other snarling and spitting. "This is why! You have learned nothing! Abused the Power you were born to! This is behavior that children would be expected to portray." I reached for the direly wounded tiger as their shocked eyes were drawn upward by a shower of blue and purple sparks.

I knew what they all saw over head and the collective gasps were ringing in the glade as the spirit animals began a wild spin and in their madness came directly at me. I had prepared for the possibility, particularly since Elrond possessed my pendant I could have been seen as a threat, a danger in the circle.

"NO!" Nikki's voice howled over the others' despair and pain raising the octave several pitches as her own guide barreled into my chest through the panting tiger.

It was madness and pain as I felt them ripping and tearing at my body and spirit this time and I didn't realize that the scream that echoed was my own nor the tears that blurred my vision belonged to my mortal eyes.

I could feel myself spiraling and I blew backward and the wind whooshed out of my lungs as I felt the grass under my back, my head snapping against one of the boulders causing me to see double for a moment. "No! Stop it please!" I could hear someone crying out as Willow's snowy cat bore down on me, a blur of pale blue light blasted the cat backward.

The white tiger stood over me, her head low and wounded as she was the deep gashes to her head, flanks and middle protecting me to the end. The roar was challenge and demand even if it was not a fight that my beloved cat could ever have a hope to win. I closed my eyes as I felt life and energy ebbing away surrendering everything that was left of me to the cat in hopes one of us would survive as blackness swallowed me whole _Forgive me my love, I was not strong enough after all to stop them._...

A cry echoed in the glade as the girls all watched Elrond stride into the circle as Raina's chest lowered and did not rise propelled forward without meaning to be. Anger and hurt darkened his features and grey eyes sparked fire as he hurled the maddened animals aside before shoving the pendant Raina had given him into the face of one of the cats with a deep guttural sound of his own. He was not interested in being hindered from his task, to protect Raina in this instant when she hovered in the place between life and death, unprotected and direly vulnerable.

Elrond had no idea what was guiding him in the tasks as the wind picked up blowing his hair back, giving him the look of a warlock or wizard as he raised the pendant overhead the shining stone glinting in the firelight, the shades of blue twinkling where red should have been. The animals backed off all but the tiger that lay sprawled panting out its last precious breaths as Elrond knelt beside them both.

"Come back to me," he murmured stroking his hand over Raina's chilled face feeling the cat nudge his hand as it lay dying. "There is so much I would show you, much more I would give to you." he said as the snowy cat lunged he raised his arm to flip it head over heels allowing the anger he had long felt in Willow's increasingly hateful behavior to give him strength.

There were tears and cries from the children, who clung to whoever was nearest to them, and he realized that several of the animals were being restrained by their counterparts, in particular Kris was all but in a pitched wrestling match with the large strong willed feline that had long before taken to the wild because Kristina herself had not known which was truth and fiction.

Elrond was particularly focused on trying to keep them away from Raina, despite the fact that his insides felt like they were being pushed through a hole far too small and the scratches from the snowy feline oozed faintly. He never heard the cat behind him until Willow's shoulder slammed into his back, forcing him to roll several feet away. All that stood between Raina and the maddened cat was Willow herself, her back brazenly to Nikki.

"Stop it dammit," Willow's voice was choked realizing almost too late what the hate and anger between Nikki and herself had done. "No!" Willow shoved the cat with her weight falling to one knee with the effort, "Leave them be." she demanded wiping at her eyes with a hand as the cat circled forcing the direly wounded tiger to her feet. "Stop it." Willow demanded even as her voice quivered growing truly frightened. It looked like a losing battle as the Power turned on all of them something she had never realized could happen. Willow dared take her eyes off the maddened animals as she felt hands on her shoulders.

Elrond watched as the understanding ripped through the five of them of the ramifications of their deeds and for once there was a united front - the very lesson Raina had sought not a week before to teach them without this. He moved closer to where Raina's body lay running his fingers through the dark red strands never taking his eyes off of the others. _You're almost out of time children, I barely feel her..._

Before them the large tiger limped and fell a last time without getting up, the pale blue sparks clear that the animal wasn't able to rise again. "No," Autumn whispered as tears pricked her eyes, "Please."

It was a standoff of all standoffs if the elves present had ever seen one. The animals had been driven to madness by the actions of the siblings as they circled around driving them back toward the flames behind him and Raina the strongest insistent being from Willow who was both scared and upset as the smoke billowed and a large bird that shimmered with licking blue-red flames appeared.

"Look at what the Power begat," the bird intoned as instinct told them what they were setting eyes upon. Willow knelt first placing her hands on the ground waiting it seemed for a chance to speak. "The Power used to protect innocent lives became a weapon against its own keepers? And the cost, the life of one of our Guardians?" the bird sounded irate, insulted even as the bluish eyes sparking with anger.

"Take mine," Willow climbed to her feet standing in front of the rest of her own prism looking up at it as her eyes dried. "Raina didn't do anything but try to keep us safe, out of harm's way and its cost her everything - even things she didn't dare hope she could have." tears were this time not fake, as the guilt and shame tore at her insides before the ancient being, "I don't have the right to any of this, look what I did to us," She waved an arm around at the glade, "All this over a teenage years fight years ago that should have ended."

"Take mine," Nikki disagreed placing her hand on Willow's arm, fearless and as bold as she had ever been and willing to stop any harm from coming to any of her family. "It's not about any one of us," she looked around before looking to the bird, "What we did is unforgivable, and nothing can take it back." She realized that the space was very full even as a hand warm and familiar as her own slipped around hers.

"You'll have to destroy the Purple Prism," Destiny said looking up at the ancient bird as she spoke clearly for Kris and Autumn who was so upset she couldn't speak for the tears. "That was our sister's final lesson." she spoke quietly looking at her family, "Cliché as this sounds, it's not about Nikki and Willow or Raina or any of us. Its all of us."

"No, it's everything." Willow said her eyes drying as she looked again at Nikki, biting her lip. "All this over a stupid feud from a stupid woman - a fight costs us something more valuable than this." she pulled out her communicator and the morpher and threw it into the fire ignoring their gasps. "I don't want this gift anymore if it means I have to give up part of my family. At the end of the day, we're all we have and I helped destroy probably the one person with the biggest heart and the biggest sense of honor to do what's right no matter what - I don't know anyone else who would do that for me when I didn't deserve it." She looked up at the bird then back to where Elrond sat with Raina's head in his hands the grief apparent in his features restrained and the barest, dying glimmer of hope. "That's what a Ranger does." She finished speaking as the bird burst out of the flames in a shower of blue smoke and sparks dropping the undamaged equipment at Willow's feet.

They turned watching the bird - a phoenix Nikki realized with a jolt barreled toward where Elrond sat with Raina barely able to call out, "Just wait..." when the bird collided with her body with enough force to blow Elrond back another six feet and lifted Raina's body and that of the tiger several inches before enveloping them in a light so bright that their eyes had to close to avoid the searing pain.

When the light cleared what seemed an eternity later, the bird was gone, as was the bonfire smoking still a pale blue trail upward to the heavens as everyone began checking for someone when a low cry of relief and shock ripped their attention away from the clinging children and shaken partners.

The sound had not come from any of them but from the last person that they had expected to find at all among them. Raina looked as if some force had poured a new life into her, by far not healthy or hale but as alive as they were. Her gaze skimmed over them and focused on a figure that hadn't risen, a slight smile crossing her features as she moved - too slowly for her sisters' taste but without the aid of the staff that had become her companion and that was something. They were talking among themselves and only a few of them saw the exchange, one being Nikki who saw the spark of 'ever after' that she knew well in the stroke of Raina's hand over the bent shoulder...


	62. Tidal Shift Chapter SixtyTwo

/Author's Note: This chapter gets a bit ...Steamy to borrow my beta's word for it so you know my speech by now but in forewarning, if you don't like chapters like this, please don't read it, I'll have more updates this week I am sure. - silentdovesong

Chapter Sixty-Two

"Elrond," I murmured softly as I felt the soft silk of the tunic he wore under the tips of my fingers, aiming to catch his attention and I did. Shock and relief warred on his face as it lifted to meet my gaze causing me to smile slightly, "Really real." I said with a smile that evaporated into a surprised look as I was pulled by the arm into a tight embrace very aware of his shoulders trembling before I felt the heavy stone lift from his checked emotions.

"You must never, ever do that again." Elrond said, not entirely steadily into my ear as he refused to loosen his tight grip on my shoulders with either arm, one hand wrapped around my head so that I couldn't squirm free. "I have not been so afraid of losing someone as I was tonight in a great many years."

Tears burned my eyes as I buried my face in his shoulder, "I want to go away, not run away but I need to get away from all of this." I knew my voice would be muffled against his shoulder, but I could trust Elrond to hear and understand.

"As soon as I can arrange it." he promised as we were nearly bowled over by what felt like a hundred people at once, but was only my anxious family rushing forward to see for themselves that I was really alive and really well.

"As soon as you can arrange what?" Nikki asked as the pressure of people around us lessened, I realized belatedly that she was shoving some of them back a bit to create breathing room.

"We are taking a sojourn away from Rivendell." Elrond answered shifting his weight so that I could settle myself more comfortably, though the possessive wrap of his arms never wavered. "Raina made that request of me, to get away from everything that has happened here." He added giving Nikki a warning look as I saw that she was beginning to protest already but he was cut off by a surprising source.

"Mama, Lord Elrond is right. It's been a hard time and besides it's not like you and Daddy don't drop me and Cayden off at Nana and Papa's every so often for a weekend. What's the difference?" Mandy put in giving her mother a look that Nikki herself had perfected many years before.

"What she means, Babe is that they both need a break." Tommy said squirming around Elladan's side to pull Nikki to him in a hug. "They'll be back, and probably steadier than they are now."

I had not experienced exhaustion like this in years and I struggled to keep my eyes open to watch the tentative reach toward each other by the five of them. The last image I saw was Nikki's hesitant motion of extending a silent olive branch toward Willow and I never did see the result of the offer as the warmth of the fire, coupled with the stress of the last weeks washed over me in a steady tide.

"I see she crashed out after all." Tommy said sitting down in the grass across from Elrond extending one of the flame-cooked sausages to Elrond with a slight grin, "Here, it's not like you're going to be able to get up at this point with her using your leg as a pillow."

"I do not mind," Elrond's answer was nearly silent as he glanced down at the sleeping Raina, smiling slightly as his hand slid protectively over Raina's hair smoothing back the dark red strands from her face as if the gesture would keep their voices from disturbing her rest. "It is far better than the alternative that we were facing."

Tommy smiled slightly before polishing off the sausage piece that remained on the stick and eyed Elrond silently for a moment, "Thank you." Tommy said simply placing the complicated bundle of words and emotions into the most concentrated form he knew how. "For everything."

"It is no more or less than anyone else would have in the same situation." Elrond answered him as Tommy moved closer so that their discussion would not disturb the others nearby.

"That's where you're mistaken." Tommy disagreed firmly watching Nikki in the firelight as she stood talking with Destiny and Kris nearby. "It wasn't just because of her asking you for help, even if Raina hadn't you wouldn't have been able to stop yourself because it was Raina that was in such danger." Tommy's smile was brief, "It's something I understand, Lord Elrond because I'd walk through fire if it meant my family was safe."

Elrond nodded faintly and sighed, "Which also means you understand why I am going to arrange for Raina and I to leave Imladris for a time. It is not just about allowing her the time to heal, Tommy it is more than that."

"Yes, it is." Tommy agreed with a small smile glancing over at the sound of Nikki's laughter to his left not bothering to disguise that it was one of his favorite sounds, "It's about doing what's right for someone else. We failed her for a long time, and Autumn too and that's going to take time to rebuild if it is possible at all."

"There is always hope." Elrond's smile remained slight as he felt Raina's hand slip over his in her rest, "Without hope there is nothing worth fighting for."

"They're mine," Tommy's eyes flickered to where his children lay sleeping, covered by someone's cloak, "For all my mistakes, the stupid things I've done I still have them and that's something I will never take for granted again."

Summer cooled more rapidly into Fall than I remembered it could in the hidden valley. This meant, I knew another solstice came, and with it the departure of the guests of Lorien as the brothers were restless and growing prone to fighting both with each other but with Elladan or Elrohir. I did not often pay much attention to these quarrels for they were not of real consequence for me in particular with the fact that despite their upcoming departure at the end of the summer before the mountain passes home became impossible, the three Wardens from Lorien were still helping shut down many of the feuds.

The light outside matched my mood of recent days - bright and barely any clouds to mar the clear blue of the sky overhead and I found myself sometimes whistling along with the birds, mimicking their songs in a merry contest with them as I walked along the paths of Rivendell. I was rather enjoying my own solitude and the wild of the elven realm.

My solitude lasted a few hours when I had laid down by the burbling creek that was fed very likely somewhere along the way by the mighty Bruinen, a bit drowsy and felt quite safe listening to the sounds of the wild...

I could feel fingers winding through my hair and the liquid murmur of the Elven tongue luring me away from the deeper sleep and the feel of fingers tracing the lines of my face was as much as lure as the gentle warmth that spread slowly through my system drawing me out of the light doze.

Elrond's gaze met mine as I looked up surprised to find myself still beside the burbling creek and nestled instead next to his side the pose of his body protective, possessive perhaps as I reached for his cheek more than a bit surprised to see him myself. "Afternoon, my dear." he said pressing his lips to my temple in greeting.

"I thought you could not escape the study until next week's travel?" I asked with a quiet, content sound. I had only managed to steal snippets of time outside of the meals during which Elrond was always distracted and easily piqued.

"I should not be, however I was distracted and irritable so I decided to see for myself what might have caught your attention for the last few hours." His answer was quiet, affectionate as we stayed in that pose me curled up against him.

"Is there really any harm in leaving tomorrow?" I asked cautiously, afraid of being too hopeful for it.

Elrond looked both surprised and a bit concerned, "Are you still feeling the strain from the last few weeks?" he asked cupping my cheek so that our gazes were locked together.

"A little," I admitted anxiously as I couldn't to my agitation lie to him the way I was able to smooth the lie with a truth to my sisters, "I just need to get away from everything awhile, sadly enough I'm just ... drained all the time with them always around, pulling me in this direction or that direction I just don't want to have it to deal with it all the time."

"Shh," Elrond admonished slowly getting to his feet and assisting me in doing the same, "We'll have a dinner away from the others, I am sure that I can arrange it easily enough." The smile was slightly mischievous and conspiring, "Besides the chef has been impatiently awaiting a chance to prove that my idea was valid that food was the way to your heart." Elrond's amusement mirrored mine in that as we walked back to the city together, at a comfortable pace.

Dinner alone with Elrond had not happened in a period of time that I couldn't remember and I was left with a momentary panic after he parted ways with me at his study clearly intending to make the most of the last few hours between then and now. We were eating later than the others were and I would discover where at that time.

"So you're not eating dinner again tonight?" Nikki's concerned voice caused me to look up from the book I been had perusing, as the normal dinner arrived and I was not rising from my place on the veranda.

"I am, in about an hour or two, I accepted a dinner invitation." I answered looking at her as I quirked a brow, "I was unaware that I am to clear my personal life with you and the others before I consent to such things." I added allowing myself to indulge in the sarcastic tone even though I knew that it would sting Nikki a little.

"Oh," Nikki looked as stung as I had expected her to and she blinked twice, "And no, no you don't, I just assumed that you weren't going to dinner because you've been either not eating in the evenings or late at night."

"Well I am eating tonight, just later than you guys are. Go on I'm sure Tommy could use a hand checking the kids' plates." I urged her gently smiling to take some of the sting out of my previous words even though I got to my feet as well.

"Oh," Nikki's eyes widened and the smile was genuine, "That kind of dinner invitation, no problem I guess then I'll catch up with you in a day or two and see how it went."

I went to my rooms and set water for a bath, knowing that I did not have to actually take that step but it made me feel more comfortable to go into the remainder of my evening freshly bathed. I deliberately chose the scent packet for the water to be one with jasmine - the scent of the night-flower was soothing while not dulling my senses to the fact that I wanted to be alert for any possible situation that might arise.

I had been finished dressing and combing out my hair for at the most ten minutes, when there was a knock on my door. I rose setting the book aside and opened it surprised to see that it was Elladan on the other side of the door, "Good evening, Elladan may I be of assistance?" I asked even though it was near enough to the appointed time that I knew there was only one reason that he would be knocking.

Elladan's smile told me as much as he extended an arm to me in offer, "Only that you walk with me a short while in the city before I deliver you where you need to be." We were more than halfway to the private quarters of the city when he would break the silence, "Father wasn't satisfied with everything so he asked me to delay your arrival a few minute longer, you are not late." He explained with a small smile, "He is being rather particular about this evening."

_Okay, interesting enough._ I thought to myself as he knocked on the door to Elrond's personal suite. I was less anxious this time about entering the space than I had been previously as Elladan knocked once loudly and then twice rapidly in succession. I had only just recognized that they had set a code when the door opened to reveal a calm Elrond whose expression brightened upon seeing us as his hand extended in a silent greeting and offer in one.

"This is where I leave you," Elladan said taking my hand and placed it in Elrond's hand with a small smile aimed at both of us, "No one will disturb either of you this evening."

"_Hannon lle Elladan_" Elrond's voice held in it a note of finality and dismissal in the polite words even as I felt his fingers wrap around my own in a loose grip that simply discouraged my ingrained instinct to run as Elladan understood the meaning turning on a heel and ventured off to his own evening's events leaving us to our own.

I was gently, if persistently coaxed into the rooms and I was instantly taken aback by the transformation of the space. I had been inside his private rooms a handful of times, and each time I had been struck by the masculinity of it, each a trait which was still present in the vision before me yet was softened by the rows of candles flickering in glowing luminescence. The fireplace threw out a welcoming glow that focused my attention to the table arranged with an intimate setting of dishes and my nerves settled down as we walked toward it.

Within the fireplace sat a small pot, and I could hear the soft bubble of the contents remaining heated as the bowls steamed on the table. The table also held on it a decanter of what appeared to be a rich wine, and two glasses waited filled to half with the same. I sat down before the setting of freshly served stew of new carrots, potatoes, various greens and what my spoon dug up next was a bite-sized piece of what appeared to be venison.

As Elrond well knew I have always had a weakness for food, and more for good food and this was on the far side of fabulous. As I took another bite he began doing the same. Neither of us said much during the eating portion of the dinner and it was only after I was halfway through that I realized why he looked both amused and a bit surprised. I had completely missed the rectangular box sitting near my glass and distracted from the (delicious) stew I set the spoon down to open the box.

Inside sat a seven-inch mithril and gold braided bracelet that was both sturdy and delicate-looking as I looked up at him from the box shaking off my surprise. Why after the pieces of jewelry I had been given already this piece shocked me I did not know and yet it was perfect. No jewel jazzed it up, none were needed as I lifted it out of the box to examine it closely, while looking at him as well. I knew that Elrond was able to pick up on every flutter, flicker of emotion and pleasure that I might have felt in the simple gift. "Thank you," I said at last setting it back into the box again and put it aside before getting to my feet smiling slightly as he did the same with one hand extended in a wordless offer that I accepted by placing my hand in his. I couldn't tell who was more surprised as I stood on my toes to kiss his cheek softly; for my part I relished his start of surprise as I was rarely given to open gestures of affection.

When had it become so complete? I wondered as we stretched out before the crackling fire both half hypnotized by the orange-red flames dancing along the wood they were so merrily devouring. "What is it you are thinking of?" Elrond asked in my ear softly as if the question were some priceless secret held in a puzzle box.

"How my feelings changed, deepened." I answered him with a cautious look up and back to him, "Not just this bond-thing I barely understand but a completeness I want and am afraid of at the same time." I added a bit sheepishly as his lips brushed against my temple sending the shiver down my spine anew.

"Feelings are not meant to be rational, you know that." Elrond's answer was soothing, nearly as much as the feel of his fingers as one hand ran along my side to rise up my back before deftly pulling the silver clip out of my hair so that it would fall around my shoulders in a feathery cascade that tickled my neck, only to be swept aside so that his lips would bite softly into it drawing a small, almost whimpered sound from my chest. The sound of which only encouraged his doings as the same nipping bites along my shoulder caused me to squirm slightly though that only played further into his hands. I turned toward him again tilting my head slightly so that I could see his expression - already lightly stirred and it dawned on me suddenly why.

It went without saying that we had not spent any time alone - deliberately on both of our parts until that evening when we could be assured to have a few hours in which we would be uninterrupted. I was certain in that minute that Elladan had given the order that this part of the city was to be undisturbed without dire need and that meant someone was likely dying given that Elladan had been dismissed, while affectionately, obviously quite firmly.

I was again struck by the measure of control he possessed over his reactions - I could feel the strain of the raw need he felt and despite it every touch was affectionate, tender and loving even though I knew he wanted nothing more than to devour and assure himself that what his hands held was no illusion. I was also almost alarmed by the fact that I didn't want - or need the gentler touch of his fingers I wanted to burn away the fear I could still see rooted in grey eyes. "I won't break apart if that's your fear and I'm really real." I said lowly leaning forward to press my lips into his, indulging in a soft, slow bite to his lower lip as if to prove my point further.

He groaned quietly resting both of his hands on my shoulders, though one slipped to grasp a loose handful of my hair in it. "I know you won't break apart." he said lowly leaning to bite into my neck, "You'll have your chance to prove it... but not tonight." he said softly as his fingers kept my head tilted back to keep his gaze which reflected the firelight.

There was promise in the words, that left me momentarily distracted even as I felt the meaning of them in the rough edge to his hand's grip along my hair and felt the sound that rolled up from my chest, not quite daring ask when he would take that opportunity - nor what he would ask of me in the current hours as I would quickly discover what he would wordlessly.

I had managed to forget the fact that we were two empaths feeding off of each other's emotions and circling a dangerous spiral when his fingers tightened in my hair driving me into a deeper arch only to hold it with the other hand for a moment, just long enough to slam my senses into a wall with the feather-light kisses that skimmed over my neck and shoulders wherever there was bare skin and where there wasn't. I was half aware of the way his single hand opened ties to pull on the tunic so that it would give way and fall back onto my shoulders.

I quickly lost track of where fingers and lips were - both his and my own nor did I realize the instant his fingers had unwound from my hair only that my head moved and the tangle of cloth lessened around both of us after a longer time. I realized only after the fact just how soft, and thick the pile of the rug before the fireplace was when I laid back on it looking upward at his curled, warmed figure over my own reaching with a hand toward it. This seemed to be the last signal waited for as his fingers dove this time into my hair as his frame leaned down blocking my vision with the sheet of dark hair covering my head as I tasted him as the teasing tongue parted my lips easily, causing me to fall again into the warm cocoon of his emotions with increasing ease.

I ran my hands through the thick dark sheet of his hair and enjoyed the feel of it running along my hands and partly the fact it meant his head couldn't move though that proved to only cause my body to vibrate lightly with continued, increasing need as his tongue trailed a softer path along my collarbone and lower as my fingers wrapped into the strands uttering a low moan feeling his tongue trail over the hardened peak of flesh.

I uttered a second throaty sound as my back arched against his doings feeling my hands fall down to his shoulders even as one of his hands reached to mirror his tongue's torment on my flesh on the second peak. I felt more than heard the low growl in my skin as I moved again as I rocked then a bit closing my eyes as his limbs and lips began a slow, tormenting seduction of their own anew. However, it had a second effect that I could not explain as my hands began their own exploration as well.

I didn't know when or how, precisely as it wasn't actually important but for the fact that his hand's loose circle around my wrist pulled that hand away from the smooth, warm flesh that was already as needy as I felt hearing the breath hiss next to my ear in a stronger exhale. Instead of as had happened before he kept hold of that captured hand, winding his own fingers into it slowly and gently cradled it.

I would not realize why at first as his second hand lowered, trailing over my belly and then lower still to part my legs more to ease his next doings as my teeth would scrape against his shoulder in response to his fingers' slow push into my body teasing and only adding to my rising need. To me it was an eternity of the lingering sensations and their resulting tilting emotions as he would be pushing along the slick path slowly yet it was likely only a few minutes. I would hear myself uttering soft pleas that would be answered only with kisses and strokes of padded fingertips along my skin until I was nearly to needful tears before the hand adding a torment all its own was removed.

Elrond's frame covered mine completely for a moment and then lowered again, this time pushing for the room required. I had forgotten in the recent weeks the pressure I would feel at our joining for a few moments and it was intense enough that I had to cling to his shoulders as he would pause his movements at my death grip to his shoulder. It lasted only a few moments before the first of the slower rocking glides began, sending my senses into a deeper, stronger spiral of sensations than I had remembered. My mind had enough time to wonder how that was, that it would seem more intense with the next time but not long enough to be sure of the answer as my body would already begin answering the glides with a deeper demand of its own without my focus or attention to it.

If I had been unmade before, then this was something far more intimate - each glide was maddeningly slow and no matter my insistent, impatient fingers touch to his skin, whether it was his shoulders or his chest, the pace did not change and I protested this as my frame quivered against him in fact with a deeper sound in my chest against his parting my lips as I could inhale his scent and with a tentative touch of my lips taste his skin again hearing and reveling in the breathy oath I heard overhead. Every fiber of my nature snapped and pleaded with the larger elf for more than the softer glides of his elfhood up into me again, even as each glide drew another sound. There was no doubt he heard each one, relished in it and paid no mind to the last though his hands going so far as to capture both of mine so that I couldn't even try to pull on his hips with them, though that too had a reward as his lips caressed each digit lightly before I watched him pull them overhead and press them into the rug, using one hand to keep both of them busy as I wriggled lightly against his grip trying vainly to grasp for that bit more that would create the sensations I craved, only to be gently and persistently stopped. In this instance it was the slow, teasing kiss that only served to raise the intensity of my own need and fueled his, though somehow with greater control than I had, he managed to keep to the same slow, oh so infuriatingly slow pace that would tease and incite increased need but would do little in terms of pushing toward the relief I was desperately craving.

I felt his hand brush damp hair away from my eyes as he broke away the kiss leaving me momentarily breathless against his movents even as his pace remained slow, steady and teasing rather than the rapid burst of intensity which would burn away the need for a time. I looked up without any sort of guard to my emotions or needs well aware that need had sharpened my feelings and his in ways that I had not realized would only strengthen the bond that had for so long frightened me into pushing away. Instead I found myself falling further into it rising to meet his next glide even with the grip of his hand around my wrist, no longer fighting to free my hands instead the soft mewled sounds ripped loose from my lips as he would drive me close to an edge I had been afraid of falling over and this time the pace increased at long last tearing the sound from my insides again as he lowered to silence them with a deeper growl that normally would have surprised me as he absorbed my sounds while creating a different set of them with our shapes' doings again.

It would seem like an eternity as I hovered needing only a little push to fall over into the warm abyss when my hands were freed - and they found his shoulders to dig into when the reason for the relinquish of my hands became apparent and I shrieked against his shoulder in trembling shock as his fingers found the already sensitive bundle of nerves nestled in my core and began a circling it even as his frame kept up the slowly increasing pace knowing almost better than I that I was going to tumble and fall hard in a matter of a short time as I was already on the slope of it. Again trembling as I breathed in his own scent, and mine tangled with it sending me over the slow burning edge yet still as the pace would ebb to a stop again leaving me breathless and dazed as he rolled us to the side caressing my cheek with one hand before half sitting up in order to grab a blanket that normally was only used if he was reading in his chair in the winter months and covered us with it. I instinctively burrowed into his side for the warmth closing my eyes as the last coherent thought I would remember was that while he might have the power to hurt me because I was irrevocably in love with him, he would never use it.

_"Amin mela lle."_ I murmured into his chest more asleep than awake as I curled there breathing in his scent and mine along with the one that was both of us uniquely together never hearing his response, if there were one.


	63. Chapter SixtyThree

Chapter Sixty-Three

I awoke sluggishly on the warmed fur before the softly crackling fireplace and for a single moment I was disoriented before returned. I was remembering the evening before, in its gentle intensity as the nerves along the base of my neck sprang to vibrant life under the feather-soft kisses being placed there. The quiet moan slipped past my lips as I felt nimble fingers sliding up my inner thigh in light circles, feeling the light daze begin to lift. "Morning, my love." I heard the murmur against my nape as the weight just grazing my back was familiar somehow as I breathed in deeply and could nearly taste the sea-salt on my tongue as I did.

"Morning," I answered sleepily still as my mind refused to fully awaken in part because of the way his hand was drifting closer to my hips causing me to slightly squirm and arch gently up into his chest and sucked in a deeper breath.

"Only morning," He murmured teasingly as I could feel the distracting fingers nimbly trailing along my skin, one circling along my ribs to keep the pose steady even as his second hand brushed along my hips kneading them lightly as I could feel warm breath dancing along my neck. "I wonder what," He continued in a soft murmuring tease, "Would give me a 'good' to go with my morning besides that coffee you thrive on..." I suppressed a shudder as I could guess very easily what would become the morning for us as the hand that was on my ribs rose slowly higher to knead warm flesh with a soft, warm grip.

I heard myself moan quietly and looked back at him the soft, smoldering look had returned in full force as had the less-gentle need that added a sharper edge to his emotions and even the touch along my side. It was a risk I was going to take, allowing myself to fall into the spin of his emotions and needs and I would reap the benefit of sliding into the sensation created by the gentle hand dancing along my hip before I would be turned to look fully at him and as I did, his lips bit into mine gently at first before he would part them.

The next few moments were a blur of touch and sensation a moment before I would find myself half wrapped into his chest and leaning forward as he rolled to his back leaving me settled against him, my head using his chest for a resting place though that would last only about a minute or two. Almost instantly I felt hands skimming along my sides, partly to lift my weight to resettle it against him drawing a quiet sound from both of us. My fingers wound into the thick hair just over his ears blinking at the sharp intake of breath from under me even as I could feel the fingers of one of his hands winding into my hair just over my eyes to pull lightly on it so that my head would tilt back slightly in an arch, the tilt tightening the grip of my fingers in his hair. "Let go," I heard the quiet warning in the aroused voice as his body rocked against mine briefly before my hands would slide to his shoulders for a grip as his second hand guided my legs to rest more comfortably against his sides.

"Elrond," I murmured as I slid down to rest my chest against his and his fingers wrapped around my back before lifting me gently by the hips for his own comfort.

"Hmm?" the low murmur was my verbal answer, even as his hands guided me to settle over his hips and pulled me lightly downward - and I felt him slightly tense as the move joined us in a fluid slide. It would take me several heartbeats to realize that he was fighting the instinct to arch fully into me and bury himself to the limits when I wasn't prepared for such. Instead, his hand reached up to wrap around the back of my neck, and gently pulled so that I was bowed into a slight arch, nearly sharing the same breath for a heartbeat, then two before his lips crashed down on mine and robbed me of both breath and any possibility of remembering what I would have asked for. In the same instant I felt his frame rock gently upward; moving in light glides that dragged against my insides.

By the time either of us came up for air, my ability to think, let alone remember what I might have intended to ask of Elrond were compromised compounded by the fact that the first glides had set me into moving in a slow, dragging tide of my own that I knew was doing nothing but raising the once-calming bar of need.

The low groan met my ears as his frame closed around mine slowing the raising movements to a deep-reaching series of thrusts that left me trembling with a leashed need for the 'more' that every glide hinted at without delivering on the promise. Elrond's restraint and control over himself were snapping a bit more with each slide and I found myself both aroused by that knowledge and a bit afraid of it - I knew he was capable of kindness and a truly soft touch yet there was an edge there I could see, almost reach out and touch that was restrained forcefully that was nearly too tempting as I felt lips and teeth scraping against my shoulder and the light pressure of his lips there would leave a soft mark I was sure as I trembled gripping his shoulder with my hands.

I could hear the words, being uttered in gasped breaths and along shivering skin though none of them lingered long in my mind as I felt him mold his body into mine completely and the steadily increasing pace that continued as he rolled us, knowing that I needed to, the blanket shifting to let the early-morning cool air slip along exposed skin and it was markedly cooler because of the heat we were creating between us as the position only eased the reach and the pace with which we were both moving with each other, pushing and sometimes dragging the other along the stronger needful path we were set upon.

I felt his warm hand diving back into my hair to curl around a fistful of it again and the low, nearly demanding growl as I burrowed into his shape, my body gripped his in an increasingly close grip as I felt his fingers pull on the snared hair lightly to drop light, nibbling kisses along my neck and jaw line only increasing the heightening need as I trembled more with each one.

Greedy eyes drank in the appearance I knew I presented, and the low, needful sound rolled past his lips as mine found his collarbone and tasted the salt there breathing in his scent strongly as I shuddered lightly again as my body settled against his with a soft sound in my chest that was wishful and needing. I breathed deeply as I realized that the tremble I thought was mine, was his as well and in a short, intense blaze all reason and sense burnt up in a flurry of touch and movement that I couldn't hope to keep track of everything at once and didn't try, falling into the sensation with the force of a diver's vault into water and refused to surface from it...

I looked up at the ceiling, dazed and this time less confused as I could feel the racing heartbeat against my side as I was cocooned in warmth radiating from the elf's body making the blanket utterly obsolete as I saw that he was not sleeping but watching me as I calmed the slight smile just visible as he shifted to push his hair back over a shoulder before kissing my temple.

"Good morning." I murmured, smirking at the light arch of his eyebrow before he would press his lips to my temple.

"So it is," He murmured reluctantly, "Which also means we need to prepare to put in our appearances for the day and in so doing I can start the finalizing process for our trip away from Rivendell as you asked of me." he said tracing a fingertip along a faint bruise on my shoulder frowning slightly.

"Leave it," I answered resting my hand on his for a moment, "Besides, as fair skinned as I am, me bumping my arm on a chair leaves a mark for hours or even days."

"As you wish," He answered mildly before reluctantly rose to his feet in order to pull me up to mine, "You know, I was going to replace this rug... I think I have changed my mind on that idea."

I smirked despite myself knowing that the rug had been made irreplaceable to him, because of the memories attached to it. "I think if you had, I would have taken it for myself."

He chuckled softly before dropping a kiss to the top of my head affectionately, reminding me that I was completely bare but for the blanket that I had managed to wrap around myself while dozing just a little while before. "Come, let's each bathe and dress to face our days, shall we?"By the tone of his voice and the expression on his face, it was very obvious that he felt as reluctant to do that as I felt.

"I do not want to, but I suppose we actually should given that I am quite certain that our absence has been well noted by now." I agreed reluctantly.

"Even if it has, a longer one will be coming in a few days." Elrond replied as he assisted me in climbing up off the rug and guided me through to the private bathing area which had in it not only a comfortably large tub, but also a stand up shower area which he began toying with the settings to suit the hot showers that I preferred to take.

It was not until I was already completely submerged in the heated spray that I realized that I had not had the forethought to bring with me a second set of clothing but I was committed to the shower and set about washing my hair and my body mentally taking note of anywhere that twinged or ached in protest of my moving, cleansing inspection of myself and grinned to myself as only the usual protesting suspects made their complaints - my legs protested their pose, more accustomed to running and exercising than permitting a lover between them and my back and shoulders were stiff from the long sleep on the comfortable rug.

"Easy," Elrond spun on a heel as I slipped climbing out of the shower stall catching me by the arm gently, "Careful," he chided again drawing me close to him again for a moment running his hand over my wet hair. "There's a pile of clothing for you on the bed when you get done drying off, I'm going to take my shower and then we'll see about what we can accomplish today."

"Here," I heard him murmur from behind me with a gentle look at me through the looking-glass, "Let me help you with that."

For anyone whose lover has not taken the time to brush out their hair, they do not know what they are missing out on. Elrond's hands were gentle as he pulled the brush through my hair for several minutes until it shone lightly as if there were a candle lit under my hairline. He was not done there either, I realized as he set the brush down and began loosely braiding my hair but for a section of it right at my temple which was left deliberately loose until he was finished. No sooner than my lips parted to ask if he had forgotten it on purpose when his lips pressed to mine to silence it and the soft sound was soothing before pulling gently away with a soft look. My question was answered, by the steady hands that swiftly had the lock of hair tied up in an elegant knot that dangled just before my ear. He didn't have to explain that gesture in words and I was too stunned to speak let alone ask for clarification.

"Well that answered that," I murmured to myself as I realized on my own about halfway to the balcony with the prized coffee pot. He had not only styled it neatly out of my way but added a personal, wordless claim of his own. I had heard of them - and on some formal occasions had seen it worn by elves who had been in committed relationships for a long time. I had never expected to be given the gesture myself.

"I was wondering if you were going to hide the whole day," Erestor's voice met our ears as I was finishing doctoring my coffee and heard Elrond's light laugh.

"I would not be the first elf in Rivendell to hide a whole day or more." Elrond's mellow calm was infectious as Erestor coughed quietly.

"I have no idea what you are speaking of my friend."

"No?" Elrond inquired innocently as I could feel the amusement as I turned to take a seat at the table to enjoy the prized indulgence. "What a short memory my friend has this beautiful morning. I can think of a fair number of meetings a particularly silver tongue would have been a great benefit to Rivendell and was not to be found the whole day long." There was no ire or anger in Elrond's voice, nor in the expression which was very much the look one sees upon a cat's face once the canary has been slain and eaten followed by a lapping of fine cream - pure satisfaction.

"Come now, that was some centuries ago." Erestor protested lightly though he too was smiling as he sat down with a mug of tea for himself looking between Elrond and I, "On the other hand, if this calm and mellow mood is after a few hours - not even a full day of rest I cannot wait to see the two of you upon a return from your upcoming trip." He decided aloud.

Elrond's chuckle was light as he passed me a plate that held several of the pastries while keeping a more modest one for himself and began eating, "You'll have your chance soon enough, that reminds me, what time are Glorfindel's drills complete today? I would like to finalize the preparations for my journey."

Erestor was thoughtful for a moment and it would seem that he was avoiding the question as he answered slowly, "By the time they are finished, showered and gear put away I do not expect to see him myself until nearly the evening. If you wish I can assign someone to take over the replacement of the gear and help him return sooner."

"No, that is fine whenever he has an hour or two that is free and not needed elsewhere." Elrond shook his head slightly at Erestor, "Truly I just wished to begin to finalize everything so that my attention can turn to what supplies will be required." He added reassuringly as we were both eating the mid-morning snack as we were talking.

"Of course, there is no trouble to it." Erestor answered calmly, "The biggest hassle currently is procuring the supplies for the Wardens to return to Lorien though I should warn you there was quite the heated discussion between several of your sisters over the fact that Autumn, at least intends to travel back with them for the interim..." he trailed off at my arched eyebrow and cat's smile, "You are in agreement with her wish?" Erestor ventured cautiously.

I finished the mug of coffee in my hands and set it down with a gesture of my hands that was a universal symbol of how I felt, both palms upraised with a slight lift to them, "Might I remind you, Autumn is as free to follow her own path as she sees fit as I am or anyone else. It would be cruel of me to clip her wings when she's only just discovered they were there."

"I would suggest then that you bring such up to the others before they create a rift unnecessarily, as Autumn asserted much the same in her estimation of how you were going to perceive her decision." Erestor said watching interested in my response.

"I will be certain to do so," I answered mildly as I rose to my feet to seek a second mug of coffee from the nearby room enjoying the quiet of the hour - I only hoped that it would continue into the time before I was leaving on the promised trip, beginning to truly wish for it to hurry up and arrive.

My wish doubled as I heard the approaching group and winced nearly dropping the mug as I hurried to head out of sight, unwilling to risk my mellow mood to diffuse their quarrel on my own where I would be ambushed. I felt a little guilty hiding like this as I closed the balcony doors behind me breathing a sigh of relief as their hurried steps passed by the doors and I allowed myself the luxury of exhaling once leaning on the door quite aware of the curious look.

"Not quite in the mood to play mediator yet?" Erestor asked mildly as I moved to sit in the seat I had occupied previously quite aware of the way Elrond's hand lowered to rest on my thigh calmingly.

"No, and I'm growing rather tired of doing it at all, one would think that the lesson recently would have led them to find ways to communicate and work out their different ideas without needing a referee." I said crossly though I was already calming partly because of Elrond's gentle touch on my thigh.

"There is no need to allow them to walk through your good mood." Elrond said calmly though I could see that if their feud continued and spilled over into his dinner table as I suspected that it would, nothing good would come of it - it would not be me who leveled the playing field but Elrond himself would step in...


	64. Chapter 64

Chapter Sixty-Four

"Hey, do you have a minute?" Autumn stuck her head into the open door to my rooms.

"For you, I have as many as you need, what's on your mind?" I asked returning her anxious look with a gentle one.

"Well, you know how I feel about wanting to go to Lorien with the Wardens?" She was hesitant to bring it up as I smiled gently at her. "Well I'm getting a lot of flack from Kris and Willow, though more Kris than Willow which is weird on its own..."

"Sweetheart, as well meaning as their criticism is it isn't their lives. It's yours. Will going to Lothlorien and spending your time there make you happy?"

"I hope it will, I mean I'll miss you and the others like crazy but if I stay here, what then?"

"Is it what you want?" I asked her directly deciding that a direct approach was the best way to cut through the doubt and nerves she was showing looking up at me anxiously from the couch cushion.

"I don't want to cause problems with what I want - I mean we just got everything improving with the whole mess with Willow..." Autumn trailed off as I shook my head at her.

"Do you know the difference really between your decision and mine?" I asked quietly interrupting her nervous ramble.

"No, not that it really matters since I am not going to get to go anyway."

"The difference," I began flicking the ends of her hair with a fingertip, "Is that I know that they neither understand nor approve and I don't really care. I'm not obligated to live my life their way, it's not their life it's mine."

"I know you don't, you never have given much thought to what they liked or disliked in anything." Autumn answered me smiling, "It's part of what makes you, well you."

"It's your decision, and that's all there is to it." I answered her with a smile, "I'm behind it whether you choose to follow their desires for you or go to Lorien with the Wardens and if you find the happiness you deserve there fabulous little sister, if not the gates of Rivendell will always be open so long as I am welcome here."

"I know what I want, I want to go." She looked intently, "And your backing means a lot to me, thank you." she said spontaneously giving me a hug as she bounced to her feet clearly feeling lighter.

I took the moment to enjoy her happiness, and found myself enjoying the bittersweet sadness that the baby of my immediate family had finally grown up the rest of the way and was beginning to not only take charge of her life, but to own her choices. I knew that not every choice was going to be wise, or without consequences but somewhere, somehow the baby I had helped raise had become a woman that I was proud to call my friend. Now if I could just kick the rest of them hard enough to fall in line.

The sunset streamed into the room from the large open windows to the reading-room to which Elrond had retreated for a bit of time to himself. It was a rare time to have more than a few minutes to himself, and he usually spent it reading but tonight he had pulled out a large dark blue leather-bound book and a packet of charcoal pencils and opened to a new page. He wasn't much of an artist by his own standards, but he could sketch with reasonable skill.

The light from the sunset distracted him from the sketch of Raina's face as he saw her once sleeping and the image of her curled up on his chest had stayed with him. That she was so relaxed as to be soundly asleep with one of the streaks of her hair falling along her cheek in a curl along her cheek.

_How do I explain to you what I desire?_ Elrond mused silently as his fingers slipped over the paper with the tip of the pencil carefully shading in the shadow under the visible eyelashes. It was a picture that had continued to linger with him bringing a smile to just curl his lips upward. Taking the time for himself for the silent contemplations. _Moreover, and perhaps more importantly how do I do it so you don't bolt from me._

The vibrant red of the sky deepened to the twilight hue making him smile slightly to himself as the sun dropped under the horizon completely blanketing the city in the soft hue of the night's colors making it harder to sketch after another half an hour forcing him to place the slip of parchment back over the incomplete drawing to keep it from smudging over onto the back of the previous page again closing the book and putting it carefully away before heading back to his next task.

I turned over as I listened to the thunderstorm rolling outside the comfort of my bed. My room was cold enough that I didn't even want to get up to start a fire in the fireplace to heat up the room. I was tired, probably a response to the sound of the rain outside and flopped onto my stomach covering my head with a pillow as I heard the knock on my door, "Great, just great." I muttered and closed my eyes hoping that if I didn't get up and open the door the person would just go away.

Of course, I wasn't that lucky. I grumbled at the sound of the door opening and pulled the pillow over my head tighter trying vainly not to have to face whoever it was that dared to enter my room and wondered if they were smart enough to bring coffee since that was probably the only thing that was going to spare anyone my temper.

"You are grumpy today, that explains why you were absent at breakfast and lunch." I heard Elrond's murmur as I growled and burrowed deeper into the blankets despite the familiar, comfortable smell of coffee.

"Put it on the table and go away." I growled from under the blanket.

"Now, you know me better than that, Raina." I felt the weight of his hand on the small of my back, "Besides everyone else is hiding from the weather today, I thought I might follow suit."

"Here?" I poked my head out from under the pillow with a laugh, "Here is the first place anyone with half a mind is going to look for you."

"Perhaps, but they will expect me to have retreated to my rooms, not to yours." He pointed out with a smile, "Besides I did not come here unarmed, I brought a coffee for you I thought you would require one by now."

"Is that bribery or blackmail for me to not rip your face off?" I inquired sitting up as I knew too well that Elrond was the least likely person to simply drop off the coffee and vanish leaving me with the prize. Of course, having time with Elrond when he wasn't swamped with work or making arrangements for the trip he promised me was in itself was bribe enough.

"Perhaps a bit of both." He countered passing me the mug as I settled against the pillows studying him. It was obvious that Elrond had been up for several hours or more before coming to try to stir me out of my bed at least.

The mug was warm in my hands, a nice counter to the cool of the air as the dim light of the room was brightened by the flash of lightning illuminating the elf's darker features in an almost unnatural light catching me off guard. "So, how are the preparations coming along?"

"They are nearly complete I expect we can begin before the end of the week at the latest." He answered smiling slightly, "I had hoped to be ready to leave much sooner but alas, not much could be done about it."

"I am surprised that we are able to at all, I mean with your being the head of the realm and all it's not easy to get away even for a well-deserved break."

"You have asked it of me, and it will allow us time to sort out a few matters between us that have been on my mind."

_That doesn't sound promising._ I thought though I voice such aloud, saying instead, "We will be uninterrupted there which in itself is a rarity."

The chuckle sent a shiver up my spine as I realized just what he was likely speaking of, and that he was enjoying my mild humor despite the dreary weather outside, "There is that, privacy that has been lacking since you and they came here." Elrond nodded, "And you need that time to heal, Raina you cannot lie to me and say that those wounds are completely closed yet."

"They're not." I admitted quietly, "And with them either like now at an enforced truce or at war. I cannot keep refereeing them, Elrond I proved that once already that such is detrimental to my health. I cannot allow that to happen again."

He smiled gently and leaned forward to press his lips to my forehead, both of us aware of the tremble that danced along my spine with the gesture, "No, and I will not stand by for an instant if I spot it again. I do not like being so frightened about another's well being as I was for you."

"I know," I answered leaning to place the empty mug on the nightstand, "Why don't I let you go, and see how much you can get done in this rainy weather. Y ou might not be interrupted constantly so that if you and I are especially lucky that we can leave before the end of the week?"

It was the evening before the expected start to my trip away from Rivendell, with Elrond and I wasn't able to sleep. I had a lantern lit and I had curled into a favorite chair in my room trying to read in order to relax my mind when a quiet knock on the door interrupted my attempt to read at around midnight.

Frowning, I rose setting the book aside and opened the door to find to my surprise that Nikki was standing on the other side of the door with a tired but inquisitive expression on her face. "I thought you'd be up." She said quietly noticing I realized that I hadn't even bothered to change into sleeping clothes yet.

"Can't sleep clowns will eat me." I quipped letting her into my front room with a small smile, "What's on your mind, aren't you usually curled up with Tommy by now as early as your children get up?"

"Normally, yeah I am sound asleep by now." Nikki smiled slightly as she sat down on the chair nearest to mine, giving me the opportunity to sit down in my favorite chair, "But I know you and I knew better than to think you'd be able to sleep with tomorrow finally getting here."

"I'm a little anxious, I mean wherever I've been there's always been distractions of some sort for both of us. He has to keep track of the city's comings and goings and I have the lot of you to keep on the right path."

"And you're both ridiculously neglectful of yourselves." Nikki interrupted me though her harsh criticism was softened by the smile, "Its why this trip is so important, Raina you both need a break to just enjoy and be yourselves without the fancy titles and the interruptions."

"And risk coming back to the city in ruination?" I replied looking at her, "You five are innately destructive without a referee."

"Yeah, might I remind you our respective individual mentors haven't stopped riding our asses about our behaviors." Nikki grinned slightly, "You had to put Willow and me with Elrond's sons didn't you? I mean come on at least Kris'll get a reprieve once Haldir goes home."

"I had nothing to do with the matching." I answered with a chuckle, "But I must say whoever did it, knew exactly what they were doing."

"I hate it sometimes, because talking with Elladan's a lot like talking to you - I get the blunt truth kicked into me when I'd really rather someone coddle me and tell me everything is fine and that it's not my fault."

"You are, ultimately responsible for everything you do." I reminded her with a smile, "Just as I am, and for that very reason I am very cautious about where and what I do with my attraction to Elrond, Nikki. I'm well aware of this bond-thing making it damn difficult for both of us, I don't say I understand how it works. But I respect what it means."

Nikki nodded, "Maybe while you two have some privacy you can get him to explain all of it, I don't understand it either. Besides," She smiled slightly, "You asked him to get you away from here for awhile, it just happened to be less quickly than either of you wanted because he's not one to walk away from responsibility unnecessarily or in haste." She smiled at my yawn, "Lay down for at least a little while, and just take care of yourself for once, I hope you manage that much." Nikki said getting up and heading to the door letting herself out as I picked up my book again and began reading.

A few hours later I was gently awakened by the feel of a hand shaking my shoulder carefully and blinked awake to see a smiling Elladan who wisely held in his hands a small mug of coffee. "Good morning, sunshine I'm your friendly wake up reminder today. I brought coffee." He said holding the mug so that I could see it and accept it from him.

Taking it I offered a very slight smile, "Is my tendency for coffee first thing really that known?"

"To those of us who wish to live past waking you or offering unpleasant news?" Elladan returned with a smile of his own, "Yes, it is very well-known."

I smirked despite myself and yawned stretching slowly and with care not to kick him as I blinked a few times, "Okay, give me about thirty minutes to put on something more fitting for this and finish this cup and I'll be down to the stables."

Thirty minutes later I was dressed in long pants, a loose, comfortable shirt that went down to my thighs and boots that were both battered and comfortable carrying a cloak of dark green with me as I headed down to the stables.

The area just outside the doors was a flurry of calm activity. Two grooms were adding finishing touches to the horses we would be using such as the saddle bags, and adjusting the rope reins and on one of the horses adjusting the stirrups for someone of my stature. It was controlled chaos in motion, and it stilled in organized fashion as well as I approached. One by one those whose functions and jobs were completed retreated as the sun began to illuminate the area fully casting everything it touched in a quiet, gentle beauty that caught me mid-step for a few moments.

The farewells were brief, in part to spare each of us the tearful parts and soon Elrond and I were riding side-by-side out of the city at a slow walk. It was a silent time for both of us, in part because I wasn't truly awake yet though the fact that the journey was beginning at long last was its own wonder for me.

The silence wasn't oppressive as silence so often was, if anything it was peaceful and comforting as the sun rose higher in the sky marking the passing of hours for us as I followed Elrond's path with ease. He was impatient, that I could feel and yet he was not willing to rush the pace or stress the horses. "You are rather quiet this morning, Raina." He said glancing over at me with a curious look.

"I was just enjoying the sights, and the sounds around us, and the fact that for the first time in what feels like forever I do not have to worry about what anyone else is doing. It is such a relief." I smiled over at him with a soft laugh, "I had forgotten what it felt like."

"It has not been as calming a stay in Rivendell for you as it was the first time you were here." Elrond nodded slightly, his smile quiet and calm as he glanced over at me holding my gaze for a few seconds, "Some of those changes I am certain were for the best and others, were extremely destructive for you."

"Camtamin's death ranks in the top three good things," I smiled over at him with a gentler look before returning my attention to the path ahead, "I know you probably did not mean to lose your self-control with him and I can only imagine what it was you were seeing, and I cannot say I am sorry he is dead."

Elrond grimaced slightly at my bringing up of Camtamin, and the man's death, "It is not one of my prouder moments, and yet I cannot find in my heart guilt or shame for it." He sighed gently and the look spoke of the longing to be able to reach to touch my hand without risking toppling both of us off the horses as we continued forward, "What he had done to you, and to your mother is unforgiveable by any humane standard. I experienced first-hand the effect of his actions, Raina. And I walked into that cave and some part of me; a very human part of me snapped when I saw and heard his deeds."

"I had to choose between my life and Mandy's at that split second." I answered him drawing in a deep breath as my nerves twitched at the memory, "I had maybe ten seconds to decide and I would not be able to live with myself if I hadn't done something." I answered with a softer sigh, "Those children, Elrond are precious and priceless - the legacy of my family and the last thing I want for any of them to endure what I have."

"I understood your reasons long ago," He answered steering us toward a clearing that I could just see from the road and the smile was slight, "You knew, on an instinctive level you could survive with more of your mind intact than a child whose major concern was whether to eat her vegetables or put them in her napkin to be thrown away." He smiled at my chuckle, "It is exactly the reason you became so dear to those of us who have been able to duck over or around your protective shell to see who it is really underneath it." He smiled gently as the horses plodded through and over several brushy overgrown areas, needing a moment to steer his horse, and thus mine around a fallen log.

I smiled slightly and looked ahead to find that there was a small, homely looking cabin standing alone in very nearly the center of the clearing and instantly fell in love with it. There wasn't anything overly spectacular about it - no architectural pop to it but the presence around it was that of a psychological 'hug' - a sort of 'come here and I will heal what hurts'.

Elrond dismounted first and turned at the nudge from my horse with a laugh patting the horse's nose fondly, "Yes, yes I know I am to assist the lady down thank you StarsDancer." He looked up at me with the traces of laughter still in his features as he offered a hand so that I could dismount more easily.

I took his hand, placing mine palm-down into it with a slight smile and dismounted, perhaps not as gracefully as I could have but nothing felt quite as good as feeling my own two feet on the ground again. I was struck again by how much taller than I that both he and the horse were, I came up somewhere just over his waist and just barely to the horse's shoulder at the top of my head. "Thank you, will the horses be tethered this whole time or will they be roaming?"

"Neither, actually." Elrond turned me so that I could see a small, efficient shelter that was just off of the cabin, "I came out here to check on everything with Glorfindel and we came up with this for the horses. Normally I let mine roam nearby - the horses know the roads back to Rivendell almost better than I do after all but I thought you might be more comfortable if the horses had a bed of their own as well."

It was a thoughtful gesture, one that I was surprised by. At the same time it was that sort of thoughtfulness that made him so appealing to me. "It is a generous thought, and I am sure in the rainy weather if there is any in the future whichever horse you bring here will appreciate it more than I do." I said as he began unloading the saddlebags and passed the contents to me so that he could settle the horse's gear into the appointed place in the small shelter.

A few minutes later I had hung up my cloak on one of the hooks by the door and was busy sorting out the supplies between which room to which they belonged and settled on arranging the kitchen supplies first particularly since there were items which needed to be kept colder than others and those I wanted taken care of first.

A pair of arms startled me out of the busy rhythm I had settled myself into causing an instinctive jab backward of my elbow trying to break the grip even as the embrace tightened to my surprise almost more than the kiss to the top of my head accompanied with the soft chuckle. "What do you need me to do?" Elrond's inquiry was innocent, though the expression on his face wasn't wholly so I knew the glimmer of desire that had been coloring his features for some time well.

"I mainly focused on sorting the kitchen bags - food, plates and pans so if you want to get started on the other bags for the bedroom that would speed up the process so that we could both relax." I suggested as his hand rubbed my shoulder lightly causing me to have to breathe in softly.

"All right, I can do that." He was almost too willing to do so and I realized that only after he closed the door behind him that perhaps letting him set up that room might have been a mistake. _Ah well in for a pence in for the pound._ I mused and set about stacking the supplies into the cabinets again.

Forty-five minutes later I would hear the bedroom door open and then close again and glanced toward him and noticed that he hadn't changed completely out of his travelling clothing as I had half expected him to. Instead he had simply removed the outer layers, leaving the under-tunic and his slacks on with his boots as he stepped forward. I had just finished putting the supplies in the cabinets and stood at the table arranging the bags so that they would fit neatly in a cabinet that I suspected was for the purpose of storing the bags, two more of which he carried in his hands and set about tucking them away.

Elrond realized that I hadn't yet taken the time to truly take in the cabin's insides and I felt his hands on my shoulders to steady me as I took in everything as it actually was. It was a very simple design, meant for the comfort in simplicity I was sure of that much. There were two main rooms, and a offset room which I wagered was the facilities complete with very likely a bath or shower stall.

The living room/kitchen area was essentially one big room with old-looking comfortable furniture in the same style as the pieces from Rivendell yet they were not nearly as ornate rather the focus was on simplicity. Tucked into one corner was a table with a seating for four, though it was apparent that it was most often used by one since it was tucked into a corner that made it more difficult for seating of more than that. There was an old, black bear rug on the floor before a stone fireplace and there was a modest stack of cut and prepared firewood beside it along with the tongs and poker for the fireplace.

"I built this place," I heard Elrond speaking behind me and looked up at him the very slight tremble to his voice apparent, "Many years ago, after my brother's death in a time in which I was consumed by the grief and the anger related to it. Everything you see, with the exception of certain pieces I made in order to work through those emotions. I have come here not as often as I should have through the years when I needed to not be Elrond, Lord of Rivendell." He paused as I covered his hand with one of mine and squeezed gently, "It remains the place I retreat to when I need to put aside the mantle and allow myself the time to be myself."

I understood his sentiment, and more I felt the gift of being brought here to this sacred, private haven was beyond priceless. I also knew that such was a gesture of trust, that I would not abuse or disrespect his haven. "Thank you." I murmured softly not quite able to put in all of my emotions to words, "For sharing this, with me."

Elrond's expression was very gentle, the slightest hint of a smile showing me that he had absorbed my emotions and understood what I wanted to say even though my words had failed me miserably. "You, above all others do not need to thank me for this. It is easy for you to smooth over the fact you're still healing from others, and you try with me." He turned me around so that we were looking at each other, one of his hands tilting my head upward to do so fully, "I can see the scars, and how raw they are." He said lowly despite the fact there was no need to speak in soft tones.

It was a double bladed sword to be so intimately involved with Elrond, I had known that from the beginning. I was not going to be able to smooth over the rough feelings and edges with him that I did with others for two reasons neither lesser than the other. One, he was counted as one of the wisest and most skilled healers in the known world and two he loved me which meant that he was going to see the good and the bad about my nature. "They're there." I admitted quietly curling onto the couch, "I do my best to ignore them most of the time yet I cannot always."

"Yes, and that is why I spent the time clearing schedules and arranging this time away from everything that is causing you such stress and upset. You should not be obligated to referee every dispute that the five of them have. It is my hope that there will be a resolution to their current debate about Autumn's decisions before we return." he smiled slightly, "And, on a more personal level I am glad that I do not have to witness them cause you any grief with their squabbles, I am certain that those appointed as mentors can and will grab this situation in hand very quickly."

"Its ridiculous is what it is. Autumn has the same privilege of directing her own life as anyone else. I do not understand why any of them feel obligated to order her life a certain way."

"You are already becoming stressed." He warned gently before shifting gears, "This trip is about restoring your peace of mind, offering a break to both of us and focusing on your own well-being rather than worrying about what feud is going to break out next." Elrond said firmly as he reached to turn me around on the comfortable couch and pulled me backward gently so that my head rested on his thigh looking up at him. "Close your eyes, we can talk later when you've rested again." He murmured running his fingers through my hair in a slow combing patter that began at my temples and ended at the slightly curled tips of my hair. I sighed lightly as there was so much to say, much more to ask of him that would just have to wait I realized fuzzily that he was deliberately easing me into the relaxed state so that I would sleep using his leg for my pillow.


	65. Chapter 65

Chapter Sixty-Five

I woke up fuzzy-headed, stiff and with a sense of faint disorientation before my sleepy mind caught up with me. I had fallen asleep while using Elrond's thigh for a pillow, which had been a very comfortable place to rest. I felt the pillow move and I hadn't moved it which caused me to look up at him and blinked realizing that the reason the pillow moved was it was still Elrond's leg as the gold of the sunlight was just beginning to deepen to an orange glow, my eyes focused on his soft expression.

"I was wondering how long you would rest," Elrond murmured quietly though there was no hint of upset or rancor in the quiet tone.

"I didn't plan to rest as long as I did, I apologize." I answered moving to sit up when his hand on my shoulder kept me in place.

"Stay," I heard the murmur and relaxed against his thigh again with a gentler sound though I was too awake to sleep again.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." I answered with a softer sigh folding my hands across my stomach, "So this is what this vacation thing everyone kept pressuring me to take is like. A girl could get spoiled getting to sit back and rest like this."

I could feel his fingers curling into my hair twirling it into a fragile spring that would pop free the moment he released the tension, "It is the life you deserve."

"I have already more than I deserve," I disagreed quietly, "And more than I dared hope for - my sisters are starting to fall into line, yes it took me basically dying in front of their eyes but they're getting there. I no longer fear Camtamin appearing out of the clear blue and attacking me." I hesitated and reached for one of the hands tickling and toying with my hair and covered it with my own smiling slightly. "And, there is you." I added hearing my voice tremble.

"And there is me." There was amusement in his voice, lowered to a soft murmur that sent a shiver up my spine, "And what about me?"

"You..." I sighed deeply and smiled gently up at him, "You were the last thing I ever expected to happen to me. Nor did I expect a simple attraction to turn out to be exactly what I need."

"There remains nothing simple about this," Elrond's answer remained a low murmur of words that made me smile slightly, "And yet it is remarkably simple in its complexity. I took to heart something you said." He added quietly and I had a sudden knot in my stomach however unnecessarily. "You told me, perhaps in a brave moment that you did not desire to be anyone's mistress and I will hold you to that."

I sucked in a deep breath and nodded knowing that he had me dead to rights on those words, "And I stand by that."

"I would not have expected you to do anything but." Elrond's voice remained a calm, steady roll over my senses. "In fact I would have been more shocked if you had decided otherwise."

I smiled slightly as his arm encircled me and settled gently on my stomach with an open palm. "I still feel the same way about it." I answered him slowly, and carefully gauged his mood about it as I spoke in a calm tone. "It's not in my nature to allow myself to be the cause of someone else's pain."

Elrond's gaze softened in response to my words and I felt the hand on my stomach gently squeeze as if to comfort me. "You are as always looking to avoid harming someone else, even in a perceived way and that is one of the many ways I find you appealing." He smiled gently and tilted his head so that our gazes were locked. "I am working out a way to give you more than the stigma of being merely a mistress." He said quietly almost musingly, "But I require more time to think of how to do so as I do not believe a traditional marriage would suit either of us." He said referring no doubt to my inevitable mortality and the fact that he was still married himself.

"I will not press the issue." I answered him settling against his thigh though I wasn't going to protest the light touch of his hands and shifted the topic away from the one that between us we had to solve eventually, "It is a beautiful place you made. This was not something that you created on a whim or I guess it was more precisely a need was it?"  
>He smiled thinly and I felt the stab of settled ache flare in his insides as if it were my own. "No, it was not something that I did on a whim. I was consumed with the loss of my twin - you have siblings who are twins you I think understand how it can be for twin siblings." I inhaled strongly and rested my hands on the one on my belly and let a wave of pure affection and soothing love surround him to counter the stab of ache. I saw and felt his vague surprise at this and smiled up at him.<p>

"You're not the only one who leaks a little at times." I said teasingly reaching up with a hand to caress his face enjoying the press of his cheek into my palm.

"So you do have one." There was feigned surprise in the lilt of his voice and I looked up at him a bit puzzled, "I had wondered once if you had a side to your sense of humor that was not sarcastic and biting."

"Oh I have it, just do me a favor and keep that between us, it will ruin my reputation with my sisters." I laughed reaching up to place my other hand to cup his other cheek, thoroughly enjoying his amusement.

"I'll have to remember that." He answered me in a soft murmur causing me to sigh as I could feel his hand in my hair again lightly twirling several strands of it in between his fingers.

"Mmm." I murmured as the touch was relaxing my muscles and I felt myself turning slowly boneless with the tender touch letting both of my eyes close completely for a few minutes.

"And there is a quiet side to the cat." There was a definite tease to his tone this time prompting me to open one eye to peer upward at him.

"And there's a smartass hiding in the lord, that too I will have to remember." I remarked mildly as he laughed.

"You really didn't think my sons' humor came from their mother did you?" Elrond inquired mildly, this time I could have heard both of his sons' voices within his.

"One never knows." I answered laughing softly enjoying the calm peace of the cabin and heard my stomach growl softly laughed harder. "I think I slept through lunch earlier or else its later than I thought."

"It is a bit later, but we didn't eat a proper lunch." Elrond affirmed with a soft laugh, "What would you like?"

I sighed deeply and eyed him contemplatively for a long minute, "I do not think either of us are going to be in the mood to cook much in the next few days as it is. Perhaps we could fix something that will hold for a few days?"

Elrond's light pat on my stomach was a push to nudge me to sitting up so that he could rise to his feet and offered me his hand, "I know just the thing, would you assist me in the preparations?"

"Sure, what did you want me to do?" I asked following behind him into the kitchen area where Elrond was already gathering up the necessary supplies.

Within a few moments he had the beginnings of what resembled a stew to me assembled on the top of the countertop. "Cut the vegetables into about two -inch chunks so that they'll cook in a short time while I tend to the meat." Elrond said passing me the blade I would need to do so efficiently.

For the next few minutes the only sounds were that of the blades connecting with the boards as both of us were slicing the components to what promised to be a very interesting meal. It was only after the meat (some sort of fowl, likely pheasant) was browned off and set aside while the vegetables were set to simmering in the pot that was nestled into the fireplace that it dawned on me that he had another step that he was going to complete.

I was completely fascinated with the fact hands I knew well - capable, quietly strong and steady scooped out several cupfuls of grains into a large bowl and with a pestle ground them into a fine powder as he spoke, "While I grind these, would you kindly pour out a cup and a half of water for me, right out of the broth if you please, and it does not have to be exact."

"What is it you are making with the grain?" I asked carefully putting the pot back in the fire after setting the requested broth on the counter in easy reach for Elrond.

"Kind of a breading ball," he said thoughtfully, "I only know the word in my tongue and it does not lend itself kindly to the common one."

"Breading ball?" I murmured to myself before I caught the meaning as he mixed the water with the grain and added a pinch of salt to the mixture carefully, "Oh! I know what the word you are looking for is in the common tongue. It's a dumpling. Remind me in the spring to show you a treat I found in one of my wanderings with those and fruit."

"Really?" Grey eyes focused on me as he set aside the spoon covering the bowl with a clean towel, "And what would that be?"

"I was told it was called a fruit dumpling." I answered him settling on one of the chairs as he reached into the stores and pulled out a basket of mixed nuts and set it down on the countertop.

"These should do nicely for the interim so that we can continue our discussion." Elrond answered before turning toward another cabinet set into the wall this time and I realized quickly what it was - a wine cabinet as it had dark heavy doors and it was more ornately done up than the other doors. My suspicion was confirmed when he pulled out a dark bottle that looked to be mostly full as he set it down on the counter as well.

"Which discussion was that?" I asked as he settled onto the chair next to mine the bowl and the glasses between us.

"The same one we were having on the couch before your stomach decided to make itself known and loudly so." Elrond answered pouring each of us a glass of wine as he did.

"Oh that one. Yeah, as strongly as I feel about you I can't keep just sleeping with you."

If Elrond had been anyone else I am quite certain that he would have had the unpleasant sensation of wine going up his nose. As it was, he coughed once sharply and blinked a few times shaking his head looking skyward as if some answer he needed was there on the rough log ceiling, then he smiled slightly looking at me. "Your forthright nature is as always both a shock and a pleasure because you are incapable of being anything else."

I laughed despite myself as I reached for my glass and smirked as the giggles subsided, "I am not inclined to be dishonest because it better suits someone else."

"Oh, yes I know." Elrond answered lifting his glass to his lips, "I do appreciate that about you. However much I might appreciate it, that does not sufficiently allow either of us to arrive at a solution to that riddle."

"It's rather simple." I disagreed lifting a few of the nuts to my lips and chewed them before swallowing. "Either we come to some sort of agreement we can both find suitable or it has to end."

"Once more with feeling." He replied dryly watching me through eyes that glittered half with amusement and half with the sting I was lobbing at him. "Regardless, I understand your feelings, and I agree with you."

I swallowed the next handful of nuts and returned his gaze setting them aside in favor of cradling the glass I didn't really want but it would keep my hands busy while we debated. "Agreeing is fine, and all but that does not solve anything."

"It is the first block to building the path to what you want." He answered mildly as I could nearly hear his mind turning over scenarios. "I have the beginnings of an idea Raina that I believe will please you. There exists a very-seldom used custom among the elves which is in its essence a commitment - a union really that grants both sides the protection and the respect of a married couple, except that it is not given the same title of it I suppose one might say it is the marriage without the complication."

"I didn't realize that marriage was a complication." I answered picking the glass up as I slid off of the chair and walked toward the door beginning to feel rather closed in. "Or that I was." I tossed over my shoulder allowing myself the childish pleasure of slamming the door behind me as I exited the cabin.

I found a fallen log to sit on and sat down watching the wildlife wander around after all we were in their territory as it was. The sun was just beginning to set when I heard the door open and knew that there was only one possible person who had opened it and as the hand rested on my shoulder bore on it a sapphire ring.

"I am sorry." The quiet voice rolled much like the clouds overhead that I was currently watching turn a scarlet with the setting of the sun, "May I sit?" Elrond asked mildly gesturing with his other hand to the open space on the log.

"No." I replied tartly, irritated despite myself, "I don't appreciate feeling like a bunch of inconvenient feelings for you."

"If you were merely a bunch of inconvenient feelings, we would not be having this discussion at all." Elrond said reasonably as he sat in the grass in front of me rather than beside me. "In fact, this would have ended over a year ago."

"Would you kindly take the knife out of my chest?" I retorted as mildly as I didn't feel. "Or would you prefer more time to twist it a little more?"

Elrond's hand reached across the space and tilted my cheek gently to caress the skin there with a small smile of his own, "No I would not, nor did I intend to do so in the first place. Would you like for me to explain what the custom entails and help me determine if this solves the complicated riddles which we wove around ourselves."

"Sure, if that stew is ready you can go and make coffee for me." I decided that it would be more conducive to fill my stomach and listen than just be moody the entire evening."

"I believe I can manage that feat," I caught the flare of mischief a split second before his other hand cupped my other cheek and flipped me over into the grass landing flat on my back looking up at the darkening skyline before grabbing a fistful of grass and aimed for his eyes with a laugh with it as the tension broke between us. For a short time, there were the sounds of a scuffle, however playful that filled the area around us. Laughter also broke up the seriousness of the scuffle as both of us were pulling blows and at times both of us were looking up at the sky as it darkened again as I could feel his breath whisper past my ear before I felt myself floating until I landed on the soft grass looking up at him rather than the sky.

His hand cupped my cheek as his own glittering eyes focused on mine as I smiled up at him stifling the laughter as I found that both of my hands dove into the black silk of his hair, now lightly tousled by the playful battle that was currently stalemated reveling in the feel of it briefly as I heard the sentence that I couldn't remember if I'd heard him say before - not that it was important. _"Amin mela lle."_ I heard his voice lower as his fingertip brushed over my cheek lightly causing the eye nearest the tip of it to close slightly to shield the sensitive cornea.

In that moment I could not recall if he'd actually ever said the words aloud in that order before and I did not truly care about that fact as my mind and body both rocked a bit with the aftermath of those words. My mouth dried out and left me with the cottony film that made speaking itself a challenge and I swallowed hard as he spoke again.

"I love you," I heard him repeat the words this time in the common tongue, I realized in case I had misheard him the first time, "And that is what makes the small inconveniences rather trivial because as you well know feelings do not rightly give a damn what the logical part of the mind decrees."

My smile was wry, and gentle as I returned his softer look, "I know all too well what that is like." I bit my lip slightly and drew in a deeper breath, "I didn't want this at all, because of the complications for you and it happened regardless."

"Want and need are seldom the same thing." Elrond answered gently pulling me closer to him in the cooling evening enjoying I realized the intimate embrace as I felt my arms wrap around his neck. "I did not believe I needed an impatient, temperamental woman in my life and I instead discovered I wanted one after experiencing the empty hole that came after you had to leave." I heard the tumble of words against my ear, "I will not let go again so easily."I heard the promise and the threat in the words and shivered lightly even though I was not cold.

"Then do not." I said against his shoulder burying my face there as the subtle warmth and the quieter sound of the elf's breathing, "I do not want to let go again for anyone."

"Then accept from me what is mine to give, and share the lifetime you deserve." I heard him press onward in a quiet breath, "I am a Ring-Bearer of the Elves, an honor and a power I did not want but bequeathed to me by my King, and my friend many years ago... It is my burden to bear alone."

The burden of a power unwanted was one I understood well as I felt his shoulder press into the pendant he had returned to me not long after the bonfire that had in the end restored most of my life during a quiet moment. "You have seen a glimpse of my burden," I murmured into his shoulder, "Power in all its forms brooks no argument from anyone."

"Stay with me, in Rivendell as my consort." I heard the surprise at his own words, and the use of a term I'd never even considered, "I have a wife, who has long been absent from these shores and the city suffers without the hand of a lady to soften the rigidity." I heard the smile in his voice, "We can arrange the exchange to be private though we will have to arrange a proper gathering of a celebration."

I felt his arms tighten their grip around my back as I could not properly breathe for several seconds, burying my face against his shoulder to hide the stinging tears as my mind spun with the replay of the question gasping a breath as my chest tightened as breathing became painful. I found myself steadied slowly, almost a breath of calm that spread outward from the elf to offer the steadying rock that I desperately needed as my mind reeled at the possibility of having a real home, a place which I truly belonged to and in after a lifetime of a nomad's existence. I already knew what I would answer him with, words which would irrevocably change the course of my life, and his...


	66. Chapter 66

Chapter Sixty-Six

_ "Nai."_ I felt the slight jerk of Elrond's entire body at my answer, followed in short order by the sudden, tilting twirl of emotions that spun from surprise to elation in the span of about three heartbeats. "Shall I clarify that?" I asked feigning innocence to disguise the fact that I was acutely aware of every nuance to his response.

"Would you like to?" I could hear the quiet shock still coloring his voice as his fingers skimmed the back of my shoulders as I shifted so that I could meet his softly glittering expression. Instead of answering him aloud, I opted to bite softly into his lower lip, permitting myself the luxury of reveling in the immediate response of his body against mine - a mix of surprise and rising arousal. I could feel as my tongue trailed over his bitten lip, feeling the dig of his fingers into the back of my head, tangling into my hair which also prevented me from pulling away from him.

For a split second as I was distracted and only focused on what I was doing, I lost track of where his second hand was, only to discover that it was sneaking up under the longer riding tunic I still wore, letting a short burst of cooler twilight air drift over my middle. I shivered lightly with the feel of his hand brushing along my side sending light shivers up and down my spine as he did. HIs frame shook with a light sound that deepened as it ended at my flickering touch along the bitten place on his lip, sending a small shiver up my spine. "I begin to understand what you said," I heard the same low growl in his voice against the side of my neck and jumped at the very light scrape of his teeth along it as well.

The sensation sent a shudder of surprised pleasure down my spine as I squirmed slightly feeling his lips part from the side of my neck, heedless of the fact my fairer skin would show each mark and nip more than his own would. "Just so we're completely clear ... I had consented." I murmured into his ear and was rewarded by a low laugh as he rolled us so that the grass of the glade was against my back and I could see the sky crowning his head as I looked upward.

"I'll hold you to that." Elrond murmured with a low sound of his own beginning to slip and gently tug on the tunic I wore partly to loosen it as it was tangled up under my back. "But not today, and not until you're ready for all that keeping that promise entails." He continued as I felt fingers twisting his fingers through my hair as he spoke lowly dropping soft nips along my neckline distracting me from the warning I heard laced into the quiet murmur of sound.

"That almost sounds like a threat," I murmured settling into the soft, sweet-smelling grass looking up at him and the twinkling stars that I could see around both of us.

"A promise actually." I heard the softer murmur and shivered as I realized that the reason for the sudden swirl of cool air was because nimble fingers were nudging the tunic up over my head and sent my fingers digging for warmth. "Little temptress." I heard the mild oath as my cool fingers found their way under his riding tunic and pressed against his sides.

"I can be," I murmured pressing my lips into the side of his neck as I squirmed away from the nearly tickling fingers, "Though I can be much worse." I added with a low laugh as his fingers kneaded my ribcage fondly and found my hands reaching as far as I could manage in fact and enjoyed the feel of the firm muscles under my palms. In a few sporadic places I could feel the remnants of scars - wounds long since healed and yet the mark remained.

He didn't audibly reply to my last teasing taunt but I certainly knew that Elrond had heard my words because the touch of his skin to mine was warm and sent a coursing ripple of pleasure up my spine as his head would lower and I breathed in the earthy tang of his own scent. I couldn't stop myself from the deeper breaths at the continual tease of his lips and fingers along the exposed skin. Despite the cool of the night air I felt stiflingly warm and every breath that brushed along my neck and face only served to strengthen that sensation by degrees. As my limbs vibrated against his sides I heard the low, tickling exhale of words that was a taunted warning, "I think my lady we should return inside where it will be more comfortable for you."

I nodded once with a low sound I almost wouldn't recognize as something I could make as his lips pressed to the side of my neck, the gesture would I knew well leave a small reddish mark along my skin. I was helped to my feet, leaning heavily into the elf's side as I was rather dizzy for a few seconds as he steered us toward the door and within a few moments we were back inside.

I realized as the door closed and the intensity of his emotions - compounded by my own I was sure - that it was a small feat that the two of us had managed to get out of the grass and into the cabin when we did. The revelation that in many ways Elrond had been holding back his emotions for much of our time - sometimes less sometimes more - was a jolt to my system as I was pulled down onto the large couch wrapped into the close confines of his limbs. Now was a time I was not shielded by the depth of them and under most circumstances I would have had a drowning sensation if not for the fact that I was already half dizzy with my own emotions. I half-registered the muttered word in a dialect of Elvish I didn't truly understand muffled because it was uttered against my shoulder as clothing was in short, urgent order discarded in a careless pile nearby...

"You know something just occurred to me," Destiny said as she and Nikki sat in the grassy meadow watching as their children played tag among the tall grass.

"What's that?" Nikki asked, her eyes never leaving the random paths that the children were taking chasing each other around the space.

"Well, we've known forever that Phaedoseans have an extended lifespan compared to what regular humans have, right? I mean Mom still looks like she's maybe in her thirties and I don't even want to try calculating that number without Raina's help and we know how old she is." Destiny said quietly, thoughtfully looking over at a shrill shriek from Caitlyn and smiled waving back as the young girl took off into the taller grasses again with her cousin hot on her heels.

"I know, and it's something we have to try to pin down the doom-kitten before we drive ourselves nuts about it."

"Drive yourselves nuts about what?" A lightly lilting voice inquired from behind the twins and Nikki tilted her head back shading her eyes with a hand as she did. "Especially since my father did not give either Elrohir or I a timeline on when he anticipated the return from his cabin." Elladan asked helping himself to a patch of grass beside Nikki.

"Well its complicated, cause I don't have Raina here to help me make sense of it yet in my own head but here's the deal. We, that is Des and me and the others except Raina are half-human on our father's side. Mom's like Raina full-blooded Phaedosean - complete with the perks and the downfalls like anyone else. One of which is an extended lifespan - Mom's still alive and the last time we saw her a couple years ago she looked exactly the same as she did when we were teens and I'm not even sure how old she is." Nikki realized that she had dumped that out in a span of a breath as Destiny chimed in at the first opportunity.

"And because we're half, we were not sure what exactly the result would be for us. I mean it occurs to me and I think it probably does Nikki too that there's a really strong probability that we will far outlive both Jason and Tommy and," she hesitated, "Possibly the children too."

"Now that is an interesting realization," Elladan agreed slowly, "And one I fear I do not have the answer for you ladies since I have no knowledge of this sort. The only non-elven kind with any sort of expanded lifespan are those of Numenor - long-lived but mortal and even they live only a few hundred years perhaps four I think depending on their specific lineage."

"It's something we need to talk to Raina about - if it's something she's had occur to her yet I mean she's not the best at the whole communication with other people thing."

"It may not have." Elladan agreed calmly though both twins could see that he was thinking over what had just been said, "Although it does prove an interesting point to ponder."

"What do you mean?" Nikki asked turning her attention wholly to Elladan who smiled faintly at her shaking a strand of black hair out of his face from the wind.

"Surprising, you two both can think of it in terms of your own lives but not in terms of hers." Elladan remarked mildly looking between the two and chuckled at their shocked expressions. "It is not something that affects just the five of you." Elladan pointed out easily as he adjusted his position to be more comfortable in the grass.

"Well, yeah we know that." Nikki pointed out as Destiny leveled a calmer gaze on him.

"Its also something that will have a pretty direct effect on your life as well." Destiny pointed out calmly, "Since the longer she lives the more I think he's going to become attached and from what I saw so far elves don't handle separation well normally."

"A great many do not." Elladan agreed with her reluctantly, "And it is a valid concern, but not one that I believe needs to be worried about for some time to come. A more immediate concern for you both should be what trouble your collected children are getting into as I think they found the wild blueberry bushes."

"Oh good grief they're going to be sticky and blue in a matter of minutes." Nikki said getting to her feet to go investigate the trouble the children were getting into.

My senses returned to normal as I sprawled rather gracelessly along Elrond's chest with a quiet groan. "If this is the result we should have had that argument six months ago." I muttered and heard his chuckle of answer.

"I hardly think either of us would have permitted ourselves to behave thusly in any garden of Imladris." I heard the smile in his voice as his fingers stroked through my hair as he spoke.

"That would certainly shake up the rumor mill from 'maybe' to 'definitely' in terms of whether or not we've been sleeping together." I remarked tongue firmly in cheek and was rewarded by his low laugh.

"I do not care what they think or do not think." He answered shifting to a sitting position slowly so that I was half sitting across his lap looking up at him, "What matters to me is that you are well and happy."

"I am still learning to trust this happy feeling," I admitted resting my head on his bare shoulder as his arm wrapped around my side closing my eyes as his fingertips brushed along my ribs in light circles.

"It will come in time, Raina." He pressed his lips to my temple, "For now," he reached for the first article of clothing in the pile near his feet and passed me the thigh-length riding tunic I'd been wearing previously before hunting for the slacks he'd been wearing earlier himself. "I think a partial redressing is suitable for our late evening meal rather than trying to redress entirely."

"Well given that anything we put on is just going to get taken off again." I pointed out with a smile at his mock-insulted expression, "And its true and you know it."

"Yes." Elrond answered reaching to pull down two bowls and a spoon for each of us, "I should apologize to you, this cabin is not the most height-friendly for you." He said as he set them on the counter.

"It is all right, I have been used to nothing being height-friendly with me for most of my life." I answered reaching with a thick pad protecting my hand from the fire and the heat of the pot both to remove it from the fireplace. "This smells fabulous." Within five minutes we were seated at the table with a bowl the stew and a glass of a rich red wine each. I chewed the first bite and smiled as I stirred the steaming contents with my spoon. "And it tastes better than it smells."

For a few minutes we were both distracted by the food, and I hadn't simply been flattering with my assessment of the stew - it was that good and it would be only as he set aside the bowl and cradled the glass in one hand that Elrond broke the silence. "While we are both fairly clear-headed and calm do you mind a bit of discussion before we retire for the evening?"

"Sure, why not." I answered looking over at him as I began picking at the remains of the stew in my bowl. "What's on your mind?" I asked reaching for a roll that sat in the basket in the center of the table.

"Besides the obvious?" He inquired and the tone and the expression reminded me strongly of his sons and the similarity made me smirk slightly, "I realized that somewhere along the way we both became so focused upon the here and now that we do not know important things about each other in terms of likes dislikes and that sort."

"Okay, so what do you propose to do about it?"

"I thought we could play a game my sons used to play with me about their day. We called it 'Five Questions' then but I do think we will pass the count of five quickly."

"Sounds like a game the kids and I used to play when they were little - really little." I answered as I stretched, "But let's go find more comfortable seating, you certainly weren't planning on sitting on these hard chairs long while you were here huh?"

"No, I do not suppose I was particularly focused on chairs while I was here." Elrond answered as we both stood up and he picked up his glass in one hand and the decanter from dinner in the other following behind me as I picked the couch for my seat curling up there demurely with my glass watching as he set the decanter down on the low table and settled himself on the next cushion over. "Shall I begin us then with an easy question rather than one of those deep thought-provoking ones?"

I nodded once and turned so that my back rested against the corner with a soft sound, "Sounds like as good an idea as any."

"Which food is it that you associate most closely with comfort?" He asked opening with a safe question.

"Any sort of rich stew - not unlike what we made together though I like to add a dry bread with it Nikki called it a corn bread once that really goes well though I can't bake to save my life so she'd have to show you that." I I answered automatically looking at him intently though I wasn't going to be as easy on him as he was on me initially. "What would you say is the moment in which you knew that you wanted to build a realm such as Imladris and take on all the trials and tribulations your Lordship entails?" "The moment I realized that not only did I have no place to call my own, but that there was a need for a place of rest and of sanctuary for many people not just the Elves but men and even Dwarves little as the love is there for both sides. It was about making my own way really." He was silent for a long time and the next question was far less safe and far more brazen, though in fairness I had been from the first question. "What is the thing that would be the cause of an end to a relationship end for you?"

That was easier than perhaps he thought too in fact as I sighed taking a sip of the wineglass. "If you ever raise your hand to hit me that'll be the last time you see me," I licked my lower lip and added cautiously, "As well that would be the last time you would see any child of mine." I felt his mind reeling at my words and tossed my question at him while he was still a bit dazed, "Had you considered the possibility of children, Elrond at all or were you not interested in that possibility?"

I saw and felt his surprise as he set the glass down and reached for one of my hands taking it into his, "I have had to consider that possibility already and I am not saying it would be a negative experience if the timing were good. My concern is that you are not well enough." He pulled my fingers to his lips and kissed them softly, "I would say that we should enjoy the years we will have and be open to any experience that we can have." He kept my hand a gentle captive as he considered the next question, "For my third question I would ask you what you need most from me to be whole?"

"I need an hour of your time every day without unnecessary interruptions to have our discussions like this one or to just check in with each other. Communication, as you well know is what helps make or break a relationship." I tilted my head thoughtfully, "On the topic of children are you aware of the likelihood of twins?" I asked as the thought actually only just occurred to me and left a chill running up my spine.

"More likely than I think you are comfortable with." Elrond's smile was gentle as he picked my mostly empty glass from my hand and set it on the table near the other one before pulling me so that I was resting with my back against his chest crossing my feet at the ankle. I felt his fingers sliding over the open neck of my shirt and sighed gently, "When do you desire to make this public? I know how highly you value your privacy."

I sighed deeply, "I really don't know, I mean it's not like we're not already an open secret, Elrond." I added with a small yawn, "Perhaps if we do so in small stages no one will think twice about it." I blinked a few times and settled against his chest folding my hands on my stomach, "What do you prefer, really the private ceremony for just our families or the big fanfare ceremony?"

"Private." There was no hesitation in Elrond's voice as his fingers wandered over top of the blanket, "My last question, as I can sense you are growing weary my dear and that is what is your goal for yourself? Do you wish to continue to train or do you seek another path for yourself?"

"I can no more give up my training than you could." I answered with a chuckle at his small start at my words, "No scholar I have ever seen looks in as good a shape as you do." I couldn't quite restrain my laugh at his strangled sound, "So what is the weapon my lord?"

"The quill." He answered dryly and I began laughing even as tired as I was. "However, in terms of weaponry I was taught how to use a spear extensively and used it in at least one war." He frowned gently, "I hoped to have never need to again though I begin to doubt such will be the case. Is there something that we can do to make your stay more bearable or that of your sisters?"

"Short of making them see eye to eye? No. That they have to learn how to do themselves. For myself, I suppose for me it would be help finding my way in the role that I have chosen for myself. I have no idea what it is I will be needed to do as well I am not willing to give up who I am." I yawned deeply and snuggled into the blankets as he chuckled brushing his fingers along my cheek.

"Raina, I will help you, as well there are others who will guide you through the first stages of our relationship as it relates to others. Rest, I will keep you warm and," I felt the brush of his lips against my ear with a softer sounding murmur, "Your dreams will be peaceful this night I assure you."


	67. Chapter 67

Chapter Sixty-Seven

It was his personal pleasure, Elrond realized as he sat in the comfortable chair beside the bed, to watch Raina sleep. On this night, as he had promised her, she slept soundly unlike some nights when she would be restless often waking up halfway disoriented and muttering in her own strange native tongue. Tonight was not such a night as she was enveloped securely in the memory of their deeds. He had seen to it without any sense of guilt that she would be too far past the state of exhaustion to be capable of dreaming of anything. Tonight was one of her most serene evenings if he were to hazard an educated guess from the way her body was relaxed, nearly boneless as she slept away both unusual eyes closed lightly. Reddish eyelashes stood dark against her fair skin, her lips were curved delicately into a contented smile showing no teeth yet there was a sense of utter serenity.

_ Any other woman I have ever met would have crumbled and broken upon those stones._ Elrond thought to himself brooding as his mind turned back to the horrible quarter-hour that had been the last minutes of one putrid excuse for a mortal man's life. The contents of that cave - the sights, the sounds and the smells inside the close confines of the stagnant cave had made him physically ill, not to even factor in the rage that had overridden the need to vomit. There was no mistaking the coppery, iron-laden bite of blood in the air; nor the lingering remains of what else had transpired in the cave; Raina's own eyes had betrayed the truth of it in that her normally bright amber eyes were listless and on some level he had felt her desire for a death that was not coming.

For a single moment that day he had been thankful that there was no way to bring back the dead, for he would have liked to have done so and slain him again as the full scope of the nightmares Raina had squared off with throughout her life, however long it actually was even he was not certain, crashed into his conscious thought even as he had gingerly wrapped her into his own cloak. Few things were unspeakable, unforgiveable and what Camtamin had done had been both; on one hand he felt some remorse for his deed, on another very personal level he felt none. He had learned more about Raina's shrouded past in the next hours than she knew - the years spent as a helpless child to defend but only to elude, and the beatings, the violence, and the hate that had been spawned only because a child was... a child with a talent that was both a blessing and a curse.

_Demon-cat my guards named you during your first stay with the elves._ Elrond thought himself with a small smile as he could see traces of that side of her nature as Raina rolled facing the other way once as if seeking a cooler place on her pillow, _and it is just as well that they have that illusion to hold on to when I know the truth. That side of you is what was born out of necessity to defend yourself, and the devil-may-care attitude also spawned out of the need to protect but not yourself for I have seen your recklessness in the face of others in peril. And yet, under those walls I fear lays the real you, my dear. _ Elrond shook his head as he watched her breaths fall and raise in her rest, _How far you have come, and so much farther to go before you can dare to truly accept what I would give you in a heartbeat's time._...

I was stirred shortly before dawn by Elrond who was already dressed for the journey back to Rivendell. Wisely there was already a mug of coffee waiting for me as I needed several minutes to properly wake before I would manage to rise and dress for traveling. We had been riding for much of the day, with only a brief break around midday for a meal that was unremarkable before we picked up the trail home again.

I heard the commotion as Elrond and I were rounding one of the first corners heading toward the main ground, in what would be the market row when I stopped short at the shout, "You there! Stop!" I heard the patter of small feet tearing off toward us and pulled the horse up short when the sight of a young human boy of about ten years old, dirty and dressed in what even I considered ratty clothing and he skidded to a stop seeing Elrond and I on horseback, clutching a prized roll of bread to his chest. Wide, dark eyes were wide with fear as he landed on his rear end just as a crowd of about six or seven grown elves stopped short not because of me but because of Lord Elrond who silently gestured if I desired it I could take the reins on this.

"What could a child take that would be so precious as to warrant being chased by grown elves?" I inquired in fluent Elvish looking between the child and the others as Elrond dismounted.

"My lord, that child is a menace, he comes in from the wild stealthy as a wolf and steals whatever he can!" One of the elves spoke directing his comment toward Elrond whose benign smile was laced with warning as he held his hand out so that I could do the same my dark hood falling to my shoulders.

"The lady inquired, I did not." He answered the elf calmly, "But I too admit much desire to hear that answer."

"He just told you that brat-child comes to the city, steals what he can carry and runs off much as you see - whether it is bread, cheese left unguarded, fruit - anything. He's a terror."

"He's a child." I spoke up sharply as I offered my hand to help the youth up to his feet, "And you are grown, that is hardly a fair contest."

"But -" I cut off the protest with a sharp shake of my head then a second as several stubborn locks fell into my eyes as I bent to meet the child's dark eyes.

"Did you take the bread from the baker's racks?" I asked the child directly noticing that as frightened as he was, that he did not let the tears that welled in his eyes spill over nor that he would not waver as he held my gaze.

"I did, my sisters are hungry and there is no food." He answered directly, "I can't hunt - I'm not big enough to even earn the meager coins offered to cooks' helpers in the countryside nor is there enough in the wild to feed us."

I heard the shuffle of the elves and glared as they grumbled silencing them as I wanted to understand more. There were few things that upset me more than a hungry child, and if his rail-thinness was an indication that he was saving the bigger share for the others, much as a provider would. "Why are you the one seeking for food?" I asked with a soft frown my concern growing.

"And you're on the child's side already." I heard the contempt and leveled a frosty stare on the elf who had spoken.

"With an attitude like that I might just because you're behaving like the child he is." I remarked sharply in Elvish as I realized that the boy didn't understand the tongue. I turned my attention back to the boy as something about his story wiggled at me and I looked back at the horse I had been riding, "Can you ride, young master?" I inquired getting the sense that he was just that.

He puffed up proudly as he nodded, "Was the last things my papa taught me and Niryssa and Airese how to do though Airese is just a baby she can't really yet. But I'll make sure of it."

"What about your mother?" I asked taking his hand.

"Ma died when Airese was born, or right after anyway. We almost lost the baby but Papa took her to the elven city for help." His eyes widened as he realized first who was standing back patiently waiting for me to finish my method of dealing with what I was beginning to suspect was a matter of necessity for a child's future.

"Can I meet her?" I asked quietly directing his attention back to me with a slight tap on his shoulder and he was still so startled that the nod was automatic.

"Only if it is just you and maybe the other one, I mean I don't want them knowing where my sisters are."

I glanced at Elrond who nodded once and looked to the bakers, "Either Raina or I will return with the decision of what to do. In the meantime I would suggest you each reconsider your behavior toward children."

As tired as I was after the long day of riding, and that I was initially looking forward to the dinner and a meeting with my bathtub followed shortly by a bath; I was not going to leave this stone unturned. About an hour's walk from the city merchant's area well into the most rural areas of the realm he led us to a small, run-down and battered hut and looked helplessly up at Elrond and I. "It is not much on the inside either but it keeps us dry in the rain, warm in the winter and in many cases we are cold but we manage." He said opening the door as a small figure, that could not have been more than two years old barreled out at him clinging to him as if her life depended on it.

I had not witnessed such protective pride as I did in that minute, as thin as the boy was the girl was pudgy and as dirty as he was as he picked her up to set her against his hip, "Miss, this is Airese."

"Why did you bring strangers? Did not Papa tell you never to?" another girl spoke up, frightened green eyes looking between Elrond and I, and I saw her eyes travel up his form and for a moment my heart wrenched understanding what she saw.

"They stopped the bakers from beating me again when I grabbed the loaf." the boy answered her sharply, "That makes them friends and if we are lucky maybe we can get help."

"Papa said never." the girl said insistently as I turned toward Elrond and spoke as the girl's eyes were not leaving his face fear etched across hers.

"Sit down, you're frightening her." I murmured as the baby squirmed free the instant he did.

"Aire - " I heard the child's moan as the baby stood inches from the elf and met his eyes seriously and spoke plainatively.

"Papa not coming back. I not liking that."

Elrond's smile was gentle as he offered his hand to the child, "And why is that, little one?"

"Papa was killed about a year ago, by the orcs." the boy explained and shoved his sister off his side, "Before that it was him an' us an' it was not always easy but we did well enough."

"Shh you don't go tellin' people that." Niryssa protested as I saw the tears glistening in her frightened eyes, "You know what they do to orphans."

"I do not. Tell me." Elrond's voice was gentle, and I saw that his gaze was as troubled as I felt on the inside.

"You are an elf, you wouldn't understand, she might." the girl might have been eight years old herself as she pulled my arm to whisper in my ear something so vile that I had to bite my tongue to stop the vicious oath that threatened to precede bile.

"No, but I will not allow that." I answered her as I peered toward the inside of the small battered hut and I saw her guard lower just a bit as I reached slowly into my pocket and pulled out a bit of the bread that I had not eaten on the road. "Would you like some?" I asked her holding the piece out after unwrapping it.

Quick as lightning the bread was out of the waxed wrapping paper and the girl was splitting it in threes and I saw that they were used to sharing and the portion was not sufficient. "Easy," I heard Elrond's gentle chide as the baby stuffed all of hers in her mouth and nearly gagged, "Raina?" I heard the concern and furthermore I blanched as the wind blew open the door and I saw the contents of the hut and shook my head.

"Is it all right if Lord Elrond and I go stand by that elm tree and have a discussion before we come and speak to you again?" I asked as he didn't get up until the older girl nodded warily - as distrustful as a child should never have to be.

["No child should have to live that way."] I said to him furiously as his back was to the children as he was broad enough that they could not even catch our discussion in the distance from watching mouths move.

["I agree, what do you suggest we do?"]

["First I'll pay the bakers for what he took, it is quite obvious stealing is the only way to augment what little there is here. Second, they should not be split up. But what to do, Elrond they're children."] I said angrily remembering the hateful, almost dark way the bakers had responded to the child's doings.

["Perhaps one of the Dunedain families can foster them at least until the lad's old enough to earn some pay out of a guardsman post."] Elrond suggested as I shook my head.

[Niryssa would panic if they were split,"] I hesitated and told him shortly what she had been too mortified to say aloud but to me she would whisper. ["Her whisper was that of what is only spoken of in hushed tones in a man's camp."] I said darkly, ["No child should have to fear such a fate."]

["What do you suggest then?"] He asked as both of us realized that compassion and consideration would be needed as inspiration struck me.

["My sisters are certainly capable caretakers, for I think they mainly need someone to guide them until they are old enough for apprenticeships."] I said thoughtfully before beckoning them near, ["And it will be their decision to come."] I saw tears in the girl's eyes as she was afraid to know what was discussed so quickly and her bottom lip quivered as I brushed the dirty hair out of her face and smiled as the baby - who was not quite a baby anymore herself - would climb half up Elrond's leg and rewarded with being picked up sighed. "We do not want you three split up, and I know of a few families who would very likely take you in as fosterlings - with good food, other children to play with and a chance to be children again." I smiled as the tears dripped creating paths in the dirty muck on cheeks.

"Like having a Papa again?" there was cautious hope in her voice as that sort of wary hope would likely endear her to both of my brother in laws.

"I can very likely do one better," I said thinking of Nikki with it, "A Mama." The older two knew what it meant to have one, and cautious hope sprang.

"What about the bakers I will not let them chase me out of a new home with the fact I have done something bad." There was an adult-like quality to his bravery as I had a burst of inspiration.

"They will not because I will pay them for the pinched bread loaves on the condition, when you are old enough you work to repay me. Not in coin. But in what you learn whether your skill is in weapons, in horses, in baking," I added tongue firmly in cheek.

"Besides, there's no way we are getting Airese away from him." I heard the worry in the girl's voice and bent close at her tug on my sleeve, "He will not hurt her will he? I don't know who he is."

I bent closer and whispered very softly in her ear, "Lord Elrond of Rivendell would no sooner raise his hand to a child than stab himself in the foot for spite." I saw her eyes widen and recognition flared finally across her face.

"Does that mean we have to go to Rivendell for now?"

"For now," I agreed with a small smile, as Elrond nodded in agreement.

"It seems it is decided, and even if you had not come to this decision Raina, I would have." Elrond agreed in quiet, gently lilting common.

"He understood us the whole time." I heard their shocked reactions and laughed enjoying their surprise.

"It is hardly a surprise." I answered taking the girl's hand and was reminded faintly of Mandy in the way she moved closer.

"But I am sorry, we got you both all dirty."

"I do not mind a little dirt." I answered as we walked back toward the city letting the children close the door on a part of their lives that would have ended very badly for a very young girl. As we began the short walk to the city grounds again, I let myself enjoy the momentary victory of extracting three defenseless children from a potentially dangerous situation, that did not mean that the matter was closed. I made a mental note to bring it up to Glorfindel or Erestor who would likely possess the knowledge of what direction to search out a group of men with such a vile proclivity. I knew of at least one group of men, indirectly which would vehemently protest the idea of using children for that manner.

"So this is the delay and why your horse came back without a rider." Elladan's relieved voice fell into step with us as he looked amongst the three dirty children.

"We were passing by the merchant's row and we happened upon a young man in trouble." Elrond answered with a small smile over at Elladan as we were heading, I was sure to where my sisters had gathered.

I was right in my assumption, as we were walking I could hear the laughter of my nieces and nephews and the rumble of at least one of the boys laughter as well. "Who is that?" I heard Niryssa's nervous murmur.

"A man who is like a brother to me." I answered her soothingly as we rounded the corner and the woods opened into one of the larger gardens where to my surprise everyone was gathered. By everyone I was surprised to see that even the trio of siblings from Lorien were still present - I had not anticipated seeing them again when we returned. Catching my look, Haldir rose from his place on the bench and smiled slightly, "We were delayed by a message from Lord Celeborn that we were not to return until early spring in order to ensure our tasks were complete." He explained as he laid eyes on the three children, "And you picked up a few strays along the path?"

"Something like that." Elrond answered with a small smile as the children were immediately interested in each other.

Mandy approached first, the natural curiosity of children and the resilience to their struggles and heartbreaks, smiling brightly introducing herself, keenly aware of the fact that the three children were nervous and scared "Hi! I'm Mandy, you can come with me if you want. Aunt Raina will not go anywhere for awhile and besides," she leaned in conspiratorially, "I know a perfect place for apples so red and sweet that we can eat until we're stuffed."

I saw Niryssa's nervous look and I nodded smiling at her, "Go with Mandy she will show you around and nobody will give you a hard time." I said reassuringly as the little one slid out of Elrond's grip wriggling as she was intrigued by the sights and smells.

As the children wandered off with Mandy telling them all about everything that was important to a child (things like where the good apples were, and where to find toys I was sure as my sisters turned toward us as Elrond and I both picked a place in the growing shade for resting.

"Okay, so how did you two pick up a trio of dirty children?" Nikki asked curiously, quite interested in what had gone on.

"By sheer dumb luck." I answered as I felt the subtle brush of Elrond's hand along my lower back as we both settled comfortably, me sitting cross-legged and his stretched out before him.

"The boy's dumb luck." Elrond remarked mildly, "Coupled I think with the bakers' misrepresentation of themselves angering her."

"Six grown elves chasing a scrap of a boy over a single loaf of bread." I shook my head still irritated over that fact. "Which reminds me I'll get over there and pay for the loaves taken and they have to leave the lad alone." I said as I yawned deeply deciding that the softer grass in the garden would make an excellent headrest as I laid back into the shade relaxing with a stretch as I heard Elrond's beginning to explain and elaborate on what had happened...

"Let her rest," I vaguely heard Elrond's murmur as their conversation drifted and somewhere I felt the movement and a warm cloak rested over my body as for awhile the world went, for me blissfully silent again knowing that in a short while the lives of three young children would be settled again hopefully with people deserving of their affection.

"Wow," Willow broke the silence to everyone's surprise as she looked from Elrohir to Elrond with a shake of her head, "That's horrible."

"And it upset her." Elrond nodded quietly, "Had the elves behaved differently over the loss of a single loaf of bread I do not know if she would have responded so strongly, or if it was something she saw in the lad."

"Both." Nikki asserted quietly, "Raina once said that a person would recognize a part of themselves in other people and she probably sensed the desperation he feels."

"Felt." Willow shook her head again slightly, "Those kids deserve better than that especially the littlest one, not to ever have a Mom."

"Childbirth is a risky time, Willow." Nikki said quietly, thoughtfully, "Even in the best of circumstances. What can we do to help?"

"Let us let the three of them decide, the littlest seems to have found herself a comfortable place." Elrond answered her pointing to where the youngest of the three had staked out a claim on Jason's lap. He was remarkably calm and nonplussed about the situation as the other children came by Mandy stood firm by her uncle's side at the other girl's nervous gasp.

"Uncle Jason wouldn't do anything to her." She said to Niryssa, "If anything he'd stop other people from getting to you three anyway."

"She is right." Jason answered as the young girl stirred, letting one hand brush across her forehead soothingly and the toddler settled down again as her siblings watched, "It is what a daddy does." He added as Cait and Jayden came up on either side of him and slung their arms around his neck. "Easy you two, we have a hitchhiker tonight who needs a good nap."

"And a good bath. "Destiny said laughing, "Not that everyone else doesn't too after rolling in the dirt."

"'Sides Rissa the lady would not bring us here if it was not safe. Risi thinks it is." the older boy said sitting down in the grass and pulled her down beside him.

"Maybe." the girl admitted reluctantly. "Are we all staying together?"

"Well in a way yes." Jason answered thoughtfully, "Many of us live currently in Rivendell proper but over time we will go our own paths, but no one would stop you three from seeing each other. The others are all together as often as not."

"As well, there are the men of the North that come and they are good men." Elrohir said thoughtfully, "Which means you might also get to travel away as you all get older."

Elrond nodded quietly, "For now, though it is time for you youngsters to each get cleaned up for the evening and tomorrow will bring about more than a few changes."

"Like what?" Elladan asked catching the double meaning to his father's sentence.

Elrond's smile was secretive as he reached across and pushed his son's shoulder with a chiding cluck of his tongue, "Patience my son and all will be revealed."


	68. Chapter 68

Chapter Sixty-Eight

"Come with me Raina." I heard the smile in Glorfindel's voice one morning a few weeks into Fall as I turned carrying a mug of coffee, "I want you to see this but quietly, come." By this time, the three orphaned children had found their own way, the girls had picked to stay together and the lad, whose name was Hadron had been proven to be an ideal stable helper and spent much of his time there now that his sisters were in capable care.

I nodded and reached to snatch one of the rich pastries to eat on the way to see what the golden elf had to show me before breakfast. He walked through the city to one of the far-side gardens just far enough to not gather attention, and motioned for me to be silent as I heard the chime of voices clearly practicing. "They've been doing this every morning before breakfast and most evenings after dinner with care to not disturb anyone, which is why they chose this garden." Glorfindel explained in an undertone. "They are not getting far trying to direct each other but there is progress."

They certainly weren't getting far but the quarrel over leadership seemed to have ended. Nikki had, as I had known she would, fallen into a steady place without the burdens of the past dragging her spirit down, the bubbly but firm nature had given way to a fair, and at the same time strong leader. I saw her gaze meet mine from the farthest end of the garden and her words rang out to the others and their movements stopped and in near-perfect unison all five turned and bowed. In return I did the same stepping forward.

"Progress Instructor?" I called out stepping onto the 'field' with care.

"Slow but steady." Nikki answered confidently, "The first two weeks were chaos," she admitted with a sheepish grin, "But in the next two we got it ironed out."

I saw Willow's hand raise and gestured for her for her to speak up. "Chaos, it was pure bedlam, but Nikki's right we figured out how best to work without you here to referee us and we even got Autumn to come in too."

"And you are done with that feud?" I asked sipping my coffee watching each of them in turn.

"Nikki and I have our moments," Willow shook her head with her words, "But that's not allowed here."

Nikki nodded and smiled slightly at me, looking for approval, "Will and I had it out a few times at first but we tried both ways - her leading and me leading and this way just worked out better. We're up through blue belt, and Autumn's working on green." Nikki explained frustrated, "And none of us have it down so we're kind of mucking through it."

"Everyone take a break," I said recognizing frustration when I saw it and considered the situation, "If you are willing to clear some time after lunch I will demonstrate those two forms and see if we can't get you all sorted out."

"Come over here, we've been eating by ourselves at least once a day," Willow explained as I walked with them into the dining area, "Kind of lets us have our discussions without a bunch of chaos." She added as I looked at the five of them.

"Besides its funny watching the boys corral the kids." Destiny added as we all sat down around one of the round tables together and began eating. I had to admit it was entertaining to watch and I was filled in on their doings the last few weeks while I had been on my retreat, where I was spending my time resting and beginning to understand what had happened between Elrond and myself.

"So basically, what you're saying," Destiny said setting her glass back on the table looking at me intently, "Is that you and Lord Elrond are making it official without forcing his hand about the Lady Celebrian."

"I would never ask him to choose." I answered her quietly spinning my spoon in the depths of the stew I was eating, "It would be wrong, particularly since in terms of reality when I am gone, she will not be."

"Speaking of which," Kris spoke up seizing the opportunity to broach a topic that was obviously on her mind, "Just how old are you, I mean I know our standard line had always been you were three years older than we are." She said gesturing at the space between herself and Willow.

I nearly choked on the bread I had been chewing at her question and frowned quietly trying to figure out that answer as it truly would be, "That answer depends if you mean the calendar by which you have always lived your life in memory or the calendar by which my mind calculates."

"Start with Phaedos." Nikki suggested setting her plate aside after divesting it of its contents genuinely curious.

I had to stop and think about that answer and frowned slightly counting on my fingers the proper number, "Nearly six hundred and forty years by Phaedos' sun." I answered at length, "By the time Kris and Willow were born I was over three hundred." I smirked raising my glass in an amused salute at their identical looks of shock.

"Which means you're how old actually by the Earth calendar?" Autumn shook off her shock first.

"Without a bit of parchment and a quill pen to write with to properly tabulate it, I'm going to say somewhere between thirty and thirty-five." I shrugged slightly at her, "Give or take a year."

"Okay, and that means Mom is what eight hundred by that calendar?" Destiny asked, her dark eyes fixed on me as a sinking sensation began to come over her.

"Give or take a decade probably." I nodded setting the glass and plate aside to fold my hands on the table. "What troubles you so suddenly, Destiny?"

"If you're over six hundred, and you're full-blooded for lack of better word and gosh that's tacky," She shook her head, "And I'm sorry that it is. But, what occurred to me, we're half - because of Mom ... what kind of life expectancy are we looking at actually, reasonably?"

I drew in a breath and tried to solve that for them without much success, "I really don't know that answer, Destiny. I would assume, within reason that you could expect to meet at minimum two generations if not more after your grandchildren."

"What?" The disbelief was apparent in Willow's voice as we were drawing attention and I cast a smile over at Glorfindel who had turned in his seat half alarmed by Willow's tone.

"None of you had considered that before?" I smiled gently realizing that they had not ever considered that they would outlive, in the case of Tommy and Jason specifically and then several generations after that. "Come, let's go work on those forms." I said getting to my feet as they did the same.

I heard the snorted growl followed in short order by the wail of a child and picked up my pace heading toward the sound and stopped up short as I saw Willow arriving just as I did. Her eyes were wide with fear as she arrived and I had to climb up over a railing and perch there to see what was going on. In the thick bushes was a small wild boar that had managed very likely to sneak into the city during the night and fallen asleep when the toddler had come up on it accidentally. It was not actively attacking her yet but the growling snorts were frightening the child and as I watched as the boar backed up a few steps and Willow sprinted forward and ignoring the fact that damaging the bush was probably going to annoy the gardeners as she rolled using her back to shield the toddler and kicked out with her foot when she felt the boar's snout on her back sending the now enraged boar barreling back at her.

"Curl up!" I shouted at her as I prepared to take the risk of jumping off the railing as she did, knowing I was taking a calculated risk in trying to move the boar away from them.

Just as I landed I heard the whistle of metal flying through the air and tensely froze as the sickening thunk of metal through flesh met my ears punctuated sharply by the unmistakable shrill sound of a death-cry and under it I could hear Willow's attempt to quiet the frightened toddler. She was sitting up with the sobbing, nearly hysterical girl clinging to her as Willow looked up at me almost in disbelief.

"It appears the butcher will have a bit of extra work for today." Erestor spoke up with remarkable calm as he strode across the smaller space to put his hand on Willow's shoulder drawing her attention to him. "That was brave, and stupid." I heard him say quietly to her, "I believe Lord Elrond is in the Healing Halls, I want him to look you and the little one over before you go meet Elrohir. If he has to wait a few minutes more, that will not harm anything.

After she headed toward the Halls, he bent to remove the blade from the boar's neck, using a cloth from his pocket to wipe it clean carefully before his attention turned toward me, his smirk very subtle, "And so the kitten learns part of my secrets." At my look he beckoned me closer to speak quietly, "Glorfindel is Seneschal here as you know, and while to the untrained eye I am merely Chief Counselor I have my other talents."

_Assassin._ I recognized the veiled wording and smiled understanding just where his calm assurance sprang from. "It's always the quiet ones my lord." I replied giving him a quick look, "And thank you," I said turning leaving it to him to decide for which I was thanking him for - for protecting Willow and Airese or for protecting someone equally dear to me.

By the time I had made my way over to the Halls myself, Airese was sleeping soundly on one of the soft beds and Willow had vanished. "She was on her way to meet with Elrohir just a few minutes ago." Elrond's voice carried over quietly to me as I smoothed the blanket down over her, glad to see that other than a few bumps and a couple of bruises, Willow's actions had kept her out of harm's way. I nodded and walked toward him allowing myself to come down from the rush of fear-fueled adrenaline, shivering as the realization of just what those sharp tusks could have done to both of those girls struck me. "They are fine." I heard Elrond's quiet murmur as his arms wrapped around my back in a warm embrace, "The only casualty was the boar's life and the tunic Willow was wearing needs mending, I believe we can call that a successful moment." There was amusement in his voice as he sat down pulling me by one hand to stand beside him, the irony of our height differences apparent - I was not quite as tall standing as he was seated in that particular chair.

"At least someone will eat well from that boar." I agreed thoughtfully as the back of his hand brushed against my cheek, only just able to stifle the flinch.

"Someday, that wound too will heal." He murmured cupping the same cheek with the palm of his hand, "Now tell me, what was that discussion at breakfast today about?"

"Numbers and ages, and life expectancies." I answered him carefully, "Specifically mine, and the potential years they could expect."

"What do you mean?" Elrond asked tilting his head slightly as if to try to understand what I was speaking of, "Life expectancy for humans here is in the vicinity of seventy to eighty years normally."

I bit my lip and decided after a moment that brutal honesty was the better option than trying to be evasive and thus be seen as deceitful, "As absurd as this sounds, I'm not human as you know it," I licked my lip trying to ignore the penetrating feel of the steeled grey eyes trying to determine if I was playing a cruel trick on him or not. Pushing forward as I held his gaze noticing his very faint smirk. "I guess I kind of scream 'not human' with the things I can do, and the way my mannerisms are."

"You do I confess, have several traits not often shared among our mortal friends." Elrond answered at length, his tone thoughtful, "But do continue."

"There really is not an easy way to explain how that all ties together. I have non-human tendencies because I'm not human as you know it. Hellfire, I'm not even human by their standards - I'm from a place that doesn't actually exist in your world. If you get particular, it doesn't exist where they're from either." I amended with a weak smile, "Some parts of it aren't so bad, I have superb healing rates normally, I'm stronger than I should be, I'm also a lot older than I look." I said quietly as his surprise flickered through me.

"I am afraid I do not follow you," His words were quiet as I made myself stand my ground and hold his gaze steadily.

"I have seen in my homeland over six hundred sunrises, some of them were the beginning of good days, and a great many were not. " I drew in a deep breath, "The precise count of years nears six hundred and forty years." I said as his fingers tightened across my cheek, "I do not know how long I can expect to live," I admitted freely, "Particularly since I will not age as other humans - I never have." I smiled faintly, "I was over three hundred when my mother bore the older twins." I revealed as he blew out a breath.

"If I am understanding you properly, that count is from your home, which the sun rises and sets at a different tempo than ours here. Do you have an estimation of how many years that would be here?"

"If I am calculating properly, and I think I am the best estimation would be somewhere between thirty and thirty-five years old."

He sat back in the chair and studied me with the intense gaze that warned that he was searching out any tendril of deceit or lie in my words before reaching to pull my forehead to his, "I believe you." He said softly after a moment, holding my gaze more steadily than I expected, "And I look forward to the upcoming years, even with all that I have seen to come, and all that will come to pass I do not look with so heavy a heart as I did once."

"Whatever comes to pass, I will do what I can to support you." I understood well what it was to bear power, the internal struggle that it represented and the strength of mind and will it meant on a daily basis. "As much as you allow me to."

As the day progressed the cloud cover grew deeper and darker, indicating that a rolling thunderstorm was brewing. With it came for me at least, one of the worst headaches I had suffered in many months. It grew so severe that I curled up on one of the outdoor chairs on the verandas pressing my hands against my temples in order to try to break the hold the pressure held on my sinus cavities.

"Aunt Raina?" I heard Mandy's voice as she shook my shoulder gingerly and reined in my compulsion to shove the girl back away squinting at her through swimming eyes, "Are you okay?"

"I will be once that storm hits," I answered turning my fingers to press harder against my temples, "But if you would be a big help and go find your mom for me and tell her I have a really bad sinus headache?"

"Okay I can do that," I saw then that Niryssa was with Mandy who smiled at her reassuringly, "Come on let's go find Mom and she can get the medicine and you'll see Aunt Raina will be fine it is just a headache." She said pulling the girl away as the world for me went thankfully silent but for the roar of my heartbeat in my ears.

"Why are you late?" Elrohir sounded irritated, not in this case that Willow could blame him - she was over half an hour late for their meeting and the look he gave her was one of distaste and annoyance. He steered her immediately into a brisk pace down one of the walking paths, this one conveniently positioned next to one of the small streams that were fed by the Bruinen river in case he needed to cool her off as he had in the past.

"I was busy keeping Airese from being hurt by a wild boar." Willow answered evenly keeping her gaze on him, "And Lord Erestor instructed me to take her to the Healing Halls before I could meet you." Elrohir's look was dubious and her back went up as he expected but not because of his look but because it was quite obvious he didn't believe her. "Look, believe me or don't it doesn't matter. What matters is Airese is well and the boar isn't going to hurt anyone."

"All right, besides I can always ask Erestor about it later so lying wouldn't help your case anyway."

Willow's gaze met his and she stopped walking with him and glared at him, "I'm well aware I don't have the greatest reputation around here and I'm not as liked as the rest of my family is." she snapped angrily, "I've been working on the things you asked so why don't you get off my ass just this once damn it, Elrohir!"

Elrohir reined in his temper, there was no need to become agitated so soon into their weekly conversations. He was beginning to enjoy making her angry, it was unfair simply because it took remarkably little to succeed but the childish pleasure made it rather addictive for him. "I do not quite understand your meaning in that respect, I am not."

"Oh for crying me a bloody river!" Willow fairly shouted at him in her exasperation and stomped off looking up at the leafy canopy overhead as if there were answers up there as she went onward down the path leaving him behind.

_It is such a pity it is such a pleasure to anger her._ Elrohir mused quietly and shook his head picking up his pace to cover the ground she had with her shorter one. _Though I have to admit, the progress in the time Father took Raina and himself to his cabin was remarkable, and hopefully permanent._ He reached out to touch her shoulder and had to move to block her intent to flip him into the nearby river, genuinely surprised as they were then stuck in an uncomfortable position her darker eyes locked on his. "You have been practicing haven't you?" He said his nose almost touching hers.

"In case you missed it Elf-breath," Willow replied lowly, "Raina accepts only a hundred percent when working with someone. She'd knock me sillier than you ever could if I didn't bring my best every practice."

"Knock you on your ass you mean," He replied finding the space to bend his arms to spin both of them free of the hold though, at the last second before she could fall into the river caught her wrist. What he had not calculated was that his physical strength would counterbalance her weight and throw her back into his chest sending both of them backward. "Oomph." he grunted as his back slammed into the hard ground and heard her hissed breath as her shoulder slammed into his chest.

"Way to go." She said crossly, "I appreciate the pass on the free ice bath but damn you make a crappy mattress." she added sitting up rubbing her shoulder where it had cracked into his chest.

"You're a remarkably frigid blanket," Elrohir retorted testily as he glared at the woman as she climbed to her feet and turned to extend an open palm to him.

"Come on, I'm not going to throw you in the river." Willow scowled at him, "Your wrath is minute compared to the riot act I'd get from Raina. Seeing as I just in the last little while got off her shit list, I'd like to actually enjoy that for a time."

Elrohir smiled as he more or less used her hand and arm as a lever to gain the ground against the slick grass to get to his feet, "Perfectly understandable, being on Raina's list seems to be uncomfortable."

"You have no idea, you've probably never ticked her off half as spectacularly as we have this time." Willow grimaced, "But I hope that I showed what I've learned in the last few weeks and I don't plan to make that mistake twice."

Elrohir chuckled and sat down on one of the boulders and offered Willow the option of using the nearby rock for a seat or his leg, which was certainly more comfortable to use for their conversation. "Contrary to popular belief I do not bite." He said at her deer-like expression, "and I think one good turn deserves another," He added to clarify, "You have not had a screaming match with anyone in over two weeks, that bridge you set flame to between you and Nikki seems to be building itself back."

"I think I just set fire to the superficial stuff," Willow agreed cautiously perching against his legs, using the rock for balance, "And I'm really lucky Nikki's forgiving, unless we're on that damn field then she's as tough as Raina is on all of us."

"How do you feel about her being in charge, when Raina's absent from the field?" Elrohir ventured cautiously watching her expression carefully.

"At first it pissed me off," Willow admitted, "Kris and I are older, which to me meant one of us should have taken the reins when Raina's not there - and by God she shouldn't have to be all the time. I mean she's inching toward having a real life for the first time in hers." Willow couldn't quite mask the tinge of jealousy she felt at this as she eyed him, "While I admit I'm a little jealous I definitely don't want Raina to give it up - I don't ever remember her acting this close to a normal person ever. I'd like that for the rest of us too."

"Who is to say what the Weaver will find to place in the tapestries? I hardly think my father expected to find Raina to be so much a part of himself as she is."

Willow laughed quietly, "I can only imagine his shock over it."

"More, his desolation when she left." Elrohir shook his head trying to shake off the memory of the wreckage that had been left behind.

"Nikki said a couple of times to Kris and me that Raina was a little lost and confused at first too," Willow said quietly frowning, "I didn't notice, but then why would I - Raina's always been a little weird about stuff and all." Her gaze darkened with sudden concern, "Okay, if it was bad when she left - to come back to us - how bad is it going to be when the inevitable happens, we have long lives thanks to our mother's side but we're not immortal like the Elves."

"I do not know." Elrohir answered with brutal honesty holding her gaze, "But I do know that he will not face it alone, Elladan and I will ensure this."

Willow nodded quietly, "Odds are actually pretty good that the Elves will have to pull Raina through losing us all one by one." She admitted looking at him, "There are so many new variables here, such different dangers."

"Every world, Willow has its dangers but if you allow yourself to be consumed with them you will forget the beauty of it." Elrohir said lowering his voice and turned her head toward the stream to where a large doe stood watching over a rare twin set of fawns as they drank about fifteen yards away. "All places and things have a time, a reason and a season, it is not about what time and ability you possess, but what you choose do with it all."

Willow stared at the doe, who seemed to her both very wise, and very beautiful - her fur was just beginning to lose the deep brown of the woods for the paler fur that would blend her and the babies into the muted hues of Winter's breath. She did not speak until the doe escorted the fawns away. "I think I understand what you meant."

"Have you come to kick my training bags again and scare my guards with your prowess?" The Arms Master's cheerful voice from where he was supervising two of the guards practicing against each other. I noticed that though he spoke to me, his eyes never left the two of them.

"No, actually milord I require a moment of your time to ask of you a special favor." I answered moving toward the outer wall, mindful of what was going on around me.

"Now, what assistance may I be to you?' There was amusement in the elf's voice and a bit of flattery as well, since I had very rarely asked anything of the elves.

"As I am sure most of the Elves here are aware, the feuding between my sisters seems to have abated - thank the gods for that." I said not bothering to disguise my relief as I watched the two practicing nearby. "But, before I allow them to progress into weapons training again, and in Autumn's case for the first time, I want to ensure that this is over because the only thing more dangerous than an untrained guard is one who is half- or badly trained." I began thoughtfully. "To ensure that it is over, I want the two of the worst of them to pass one final test but I do not want to be in the blast radius if they fail."

"And what sort of test are you considering for those two, the hardest headed of your family, your pardon my lady." The Arms Master asked, keeping an eye on the surroundings carefully.

"I want them to spend thirty-six hours in the wild alone with a bag of supplies, and one other, who is to act as only an advisor, someone to observe their doings. I do not want anyone who has a personal involvement so that I can gain fresh insight if it is truly as it seems or if it is an act in order for me not to murder them both and plead insanity."

"And how soon would you require my answer, if I know of someone that might fit the requirements you have?" There was definite calm in the old Elf's voice as he eyed me carefully.

"I would like for them to begin and complete this task before the winter season comes. Winter is far too dangerous a time in which to test their mettle without being able to at least give them a fair chance."

"May I send you my recommendations in two days time? If I may, it will allow me time to consider your request and perhaps consult with the Seneschal on his suggestions as well, for he works more intimately than I with some who are further out in the patrols than I do now. "

"Of course." I answered with a smile, "Now I am going to go smash your dummies with that settled."

"There is something else which would more readily relax you." The Arms Master's voice lowered to a tease as I turned with a small smirk.

"Not in the middle of the day." I replied with a laugh, "And besides, you worry if I don't give you one or two to repair every month."


	69. Chapter 69

Chapter Sixty-Nine

I had forgotten about Elrond's penchant for leaving me little surprises through my days until the morning I woke up to a vase of delicate crimson and white lilies sitting on my nightstand freshly cut as I could see the dew still upon the soft petals and smiled to myself. It seemed, despite my admission he was going to continue his game and it was my role to allow him to. Resting against the base of the vase was the slip of parchment that made me blush faintly with the message written upon it.

_These made me think of your beautiful hair during a morning walk when your hair had the same dew mixed into the fiery strands. ~Elrond_

It was too early for breakfast, but laying about and indulging in gazing at the gift of freshly cut and arranged red lilies was not an option when the veiled invitation was written on my nightstand. I climbed out of the bed and sighed longingly looking back at it before getting dressed in a clean set of robes that had mysteriously appeared in my wardrobe a few weeks before along with the warmer sets of robes. This particular set was a long-sleeved heather grey with scarlet embroidery along the cuffs and hems. It surprised me with how completely the set pleased me once I finished pulling the look together. Under normal circumstances I avoided red or pink like the plague in my clothing but this actually looked pretty decent combined together as I shook my hair out of the collar of it and decided it would do before heading out to see if I could wander my way through the gardens. I paused to pull one of the white lilies out of the bouquet on a whim and threaded it through my hair to clip it away from my face enjoying the soft fragrance of it.

I found my way to the gardens and by the time I found the proper one it was just about an hour before sunrise and I found an envelope with my name on it sitting on one of the first benches I saw. I walked to it in order to pick it up and open it. Inside I found another brief note that directed me to the next stop on my tour along with a scrap of leather folded and placed inside it. I pocketed all of them and wandered around the gardens for a little while longer before I realized that there was a spray of random-seeming petals leading me to the western paths and I continued down it too curious not to.

I was walking along the path of one of the narrow, winding but bubbling streams of the city and smiled watching for a moment the fish jumping along the stream almost not noticing as the figure appeared from behind the nearby oak tree, clad in deep crimson robe with silver embellishments. I knew with my first breath who it was and teasingly murmured in the Elven tongue, ["Flattering as this is I have a handsome elven-lover and he has a terrible jealous streak. I fear he will murder you in your sleep for laying a hand on me."]

There was a low chuckle in his tone as I felt lips grazing my ear, ["Do you now? I fear I shall have to kill this Elven-lover of yours for I do not desire to share your affection."]

["A pity as I had grown quite fond of him."] I teased, reaching with both hands around his neck to pull his face close to mine, thoroughly enjoying the surprise and pleasure in his gaze as I did.

"Have you now?" There was a tease in the quiet tone as I turned to see the quiet breakfast set up not far away from where the fish had distracted me from my search, "I lay awake last night restless as could be and instead of bemoaning my fate of ill rest I lay awake thinking of ways I could spring the hopefully pleasing surprises on you." Elrond said as he gently steered us toward the spread blanket.

For anyone who has never watched the sun break through the clouds of a new dawn with someone they love, there are no words to explain the sheer thrilling pleasure of such a vision. I lay back against his chest, which was a warm cocoon against the morning chill watching the sun break through the horizon before us. I could feel the very gentle pressure of his chin on my shoulder as we both sat contemplatively watching the brilliant colors around us. I became aware of his possessive hand around my middle keeping me settled there as he reached to one side and passed me a steaming mug of coffee. "As always, that infernal drink you insist upon." He murmured, pressing his lips to my neck fondly, "Then again, I have seen you without it and today less able to distract kitten-teeth and claws from tearing my flesh in ways that make even you forget about it." The last words were both a tease and evocation of a morning only a few weeks before that had left us both forgetful of everything but the feel and taste of the other's skin.

"Now that is a picture that will float in my mind all day today." I said with a light shiver that ran up my spine in tantalizing memory

"It is also a promise." Elrond's answer was quiet, "However, that promise will have to hold until later this evening. I have several meetings this morning, you are welcome as always to sit in on them though I fear these might be rather dull until after the midday meal." He said running his fingers along my collarbone, "I arranged to meet on this day with a few of the men I believe will be instrumental in rooting out the evil seed among their kin who torment orphaned children." There was a touch of ire still in his voice that caused me to shiver involuntarily closing my eyes, "No child shall suffer that fate in the reach of my land and their tormentor will not go unpunished."

"And these are men you find worthy of trust?" I asked knowing that the orphans would be frightened of any men they did not know.

"I have known all of them since the days of their grandsires." Elrond's voice held in it a touch of irony, "And they are men I believe who will shed light on such a dark place and root out the evil where it stands."

"Niryssa will go wherever Mandy goes." I murmured softly to myself thoughtfully as I felt his fingers slide along my throat and then down along my collarbone gently before sliding lower in calming circles, "I imagine I can convince one of the grooms to escort them along one of the easy riding paths during that time. As for the baby," I mused aloud feeling the hand wrap around my ribs nearly tickling me, "I am quite sure that one of my sisters can conjure something to keep her occupied."

"With that worked out in your mind, will you accompany me during these meetings or will you find your own tasks?" Elrond asked cautiously, almost as if testing the waters on something.

"I can sit in, if you feel that I will have something to add to the conversations." I answered him thoughtfully, "Or does this go with those responsibilities for after..." I trailed off not quite willing to say that aloud.

"A bit yes." Elrond answered, "As well it is very helpful for me to have your insight at times into the quality of the men I see, for I must be truthful with you and admit that my opinion of men tends to be on the dismal side."

"I do not know what aid my opinion of these men, or the circumstances with which they bring themselves could be." I answered him as I settled back against his body enjoying the subtle warmth of it against my back and partly my side with a quieter sigh, "But I will do what I can to assist you in any challenge before us."

I did not have to see his expression to know his sentiment and feelings on the subject particularly when his lips caressed the top of my head gently, "I never doubted that you would, consider it a practice run for what will come to pass in time."

"So what was it that has had you so busy for the last three or four days?" Willow asked from her seat at the dinner table her darker eyes lifting from her plate to survey mine carefully.

"Planning mostly," I answered setting my plate aside as I saw the attention of the majority of the table turn to me I fought the need to squirm uncomfortably with the attention, "Simultaneously three tasks, though one hinges upon another. One, I have been working with Elrond and Erestor to prepare for a small council between us and them about the matters of the treatment of children and I have been working on setting up a task for Willow and Nikki to put my own mind at ease."

"What kind of task?" Nikki sounded as wary as Willow looked and if I had not known it would have set off a chain reaction, I would have laughed at the idea of the two of them having the same reaction at the same time.

"The core of the idea is you two will be spending about three to four days dependent upon the discretion of the neutral party of my choice that will act as observer and if required assisting in matters such as if there is an attack from orcs, goblins, or even just a wild bear." I explained, "I do not know whom it will be yet, as ideally I would like someone who has no preconceptions about either of you or even me to be that person, but only time shall tell if that is the case."

"You're like majorly crazy you know that?" I heard Kris' reaction to my revelation over what I expected from Nikki and Willow.

"So I have heard before." I replied with a wry smirk lifting my prized coffee mug to my lips, "But I do not tease."

"Seriously, this is nuts." Kris insisted as Willow surprised even me by placing her hand on her twin's shoulder.

"Come on, I want to hear what else she has to say while I eat my breakfast, not hear what you think of her mental state, I already knew crazy was a family trait."

"And the apple does not fall far from the tree." I murmured to myself watching them over the rim of my mug.

"Like you have any room to talk, granted I think your apple hit the ground and started rolling." Destiny said as Nikki was uncharacteristically quiet, thoughtful. I knew the look, I had seen it on enough leaders' faces - in fact it was mirrored on both Tommy and Jason's and I let them work through it on their own as I began to eat my breakfast.

"I think I understand," Nikki said slowly looking over at Willow, "The long and the short of it is, if we can survive about three days in the middle of nowhere with someone we don't know I think we're inching closer to being taken completely off her shit list, and I don't know about anyone else around here." She paused and looked particularly at Willow, "I'd really like that."

"If Raina didn't think we could I don't think she'd set us up to fail." Willow agreed warily giving me a look, "That's more Mom's idea of a lesson."

_Touché._ I thought, masking my smirk behind a bemused expression, "I wonder sometimes if she had the right idea."

"Now you are just being mean." Destiny remarked passing Tommy the bowl of oatmeal as she spoke up, "Not that that's all that unusual."

"If you want to be reminded of how mean I can be," I paused with a small evil glimmer of an idea, "Wait until the next practice." My words were met with a chorus of groans and protests.

The late evening air held the distinct bite of impending winter as five Elves sat in a relaxed circle, several purloined baskets of food and wine spread out on the low table in the center as they were talking. Nearby, a fire crackled merrily gnawing through softly scented hardwood to chase out the chill of the evening from the room.

"I just had a horrible thought," Elrohir shivered trying to shake off the idea washing his mouth out with a sip of wine as his twin gave him a curious look.

"You thinking at times is frightening enough," Elladan said stretching out reaching yearningly toward the fire with his socked feet. "But continue."

"We all know that there is no way Raina will ever consent to - nor would Father pressure her into - a public ceremony. She would flee faster than Asfaloth can carry Glorfindel on one of Father's important missions."

"She would disappear fast and far I think," Elladan agreed beginning to wonder what was actually on his twin's mind.

"I think I understand what is partly giving our friend a sour stomach," Haldir said slowly, swirling the wine in his goblet absently, "There are those among our own kin who would not understand the bond between them, and less so among the mortal races."

Elladan frowned quietly, "You really do not believe that Thranduil would actually dig himself out of that cavernous maw he calls a home to set foot here personally instead of doing his usual and sending his son?"

Haldir sighed quietly, "It is possible, particularly if he sees it as an opportunity to potentially embarrass your father. Everyone knows of the bad blood between them."

"You mean the grudge he holds." Elrohir retorted bitterly reaching for the glass held out to him by Elladan, "Father let go of that stupidity centuries ago."

"King Thranduil has the sense of a stallion in rut and you and I both know that." Haldir replied calmly looking at Elladan, "We both have had our dealings with him on behalf of our respective homes. I believe we should, in this matter prepare for the worst and hope for the best."

"I will bring this matter up to Erestor, if anyone knows how to maneuver around the old gold-monger it would be him." Elladan said reaching for one of the bread rolls to split it in half passing one side to his twin absently, "And it will serve to remind him to begin to warn our esteemed wild-kitten of doom before someone has to fish her out from under the nearest big piece of furniture."

The pitter-patter of rain on the rooftops of the elegant buildings of the main structures made me sleepy. So sleepy that apparently I dozed my way through breakfast and lunch. A knock on the outermost door to my room resulted in me dragging myself out of the bed grouchily. I opened the door only just remembering at the last minute to throw on the robe kept near the door for just those kind of moments. Elrond's expression softened to quiet affection as I accepted the mug from his hands and sipped from it, "Are you well?" He asked as I moved to admit him inside.

Swallowing a mouthful of the blissfully steaming liquid I nodded, "I am fine, truly I was just sleepy from the weather outside, it was dreary and cold which was uninspiring to climb out of my bed today."

Elrond's laugh was a quiet undercurrent for the rain that was pattering on the rooftops all around us, "I can understand that, for a cheerful sun is far more welcoming than the spitting wet of dripping water. Are you aware, my dear that you slept through not only breakfast but lunch as well?"

"Whoops. Guess I'll be eating the cook out of his pantry come dinner." I remarked, taking the news in stride even though I understood then his troubled expression. I was not known for missing meals as a norm - and my appetite was something that confounded even the most wise among the Elves.

"As well favored as you are I am quite certain that the chef would have something for you." Elrond sounded amused as he chose to sit down offering me a chance to do the same beside him on the couch and settled using his side as a backrest as I sat down cradling the mug in my palms.

"He does have a fondness for me," I agreed slowly, "Though I do not expect that sentiment is so completely shared among the Elves at least, and I do not know at all what to expect of any of the others I have yet to meet."

"I could not say," Elrond answered quietly, and I could feel his trepidation growing as we sat together, "Relationships between Elves and mortals has a very short list of happy endings and none of them end in such a way as to be particularly forgiving to those involved."

I knew the stories well enough - I had begun steeping myself in the history of the Elves long before and had stumbled across the tales of Elrond's own family beginnings. I did not say anything to him about it as I instead reached to cup his cheek and pulled him down to meet my eyes, "Whatever comes, or does not, I know who I am and what I stand for. Anyone who questions that can come to me with it or stay silent."

"These are the supplies we discussed previously for your sisters' trip." Erestor said gesturing at the neatly ordered stacks of various items, including spare clothing, bandages, short daggers and rations of food and other things that would be valuable to have in the wild for a few days. "Is there anything else you want them to take" He asked looking from the supplies to me and back.

"I think you have come up with everything I requested and a few I had not." I answered picking up the small blankets that were folded neatly into a square that would fit snugly into the bags set at the head of each pile.

"It is not so hard to think of what to send along with someone when you have spent time doing just that for yourself." Erestor answered lowering his voice, "Do you really think that they are ready for this?"

I hesitated before answering the direct question with an honest answer, "I really do not know if they are or not, Erestor. I want them to be, and a lot of the signs are there but if I am wrong in my guess and push too soon; what then?"

"It will be handled," Erestor said firmly, "In that instance it will come out of your hands and into Lord Elrond's of that I can assure you. He will not stand back as he has in the past in regards to that feud not after your illness the last time."

"And that is what worries me," I answered him taking a seat as he did the same with a sigh, "He does not see quite as clearly in regards to me as he does so many other topics, Erestor. He responds from an emotional level rather than the calm level-headedness he's known to and that's not healthy for him."

"Child, we all have issues to which our responses are purely emotional." Erestor smiled faintly and looked to the framed sketch sitting discreetly on a corner of his desk nearby. "Those we love are often that very thing." Erestor's tone remained gentle as he reached to place one hand on my shoulder, "No matter what happens, when there is someone who loves you at your side no mountain incline is too steep to be breached with time, patience and persistence."

It was a small gathering by one of the side gates leading out of the city waiting for the arrival of the three who were venturing on the journey. Myself, Elrond, the twins and Tommy stood waiting patiently for them in a semi-circle as the three of them slowly approached. I could feel the two of my sisters' anxieties and the curious calm of the assigned elf and walked to greet them motioning with a slight nudge of my head for the Elf to continue onward.

I placed one hand on each of their arms and looked between the two of them with a slight smile to each of them. "The sun has set on all the yesterdays of the past; today marks the first sunrise of a new relationship between you two. One that I hope will become stronger as time passes so that the prism you share will fuse stronger than it ever has been." I lowered my voice, "May the Power protect you both."

"The Power protect you." Willow said turning so that she could place her other hand on my shoulder looking over at Nikki before completing the circle of three, "No apology can repair what I have done, but I hope in time I can earn forgiveness."

"You always had it, you just weren't willing to accept it." Nikki answered wrapping her second arm around Willow's. "Come on let's go complete this task I'm dying to know what the doom-kitty's got in store for us."

I did not feel the anxiety that had preceded their approach to me, as the two of them approached Elrond for his final parting words, "Go, with the blessings of the Elves to guide your steps and may the journey bring to close the trouble between you."

With those words the three of them walked past the gate, which was closed behind them and I breathed out a tired, slightly relieved sigh as the group of us gathered together as a whole and I found that it was Tommy who came up with the best solution. "Why don't we all go on in and see if one of us can't convince the kitchen to begin an early breakfast."

Just shy of a week later I was surprised to hear the voice of the Elf that I had agreed to have accompany my sisters' on their final test drift through the garden I was sitting in, "You ladies should go on ahead and seek for the showers and I will deliver my preliminary report to the Lady." A few moments later I could hear the two of them walking up the path to their respective bathing rooms and I was approached by the tired, but pleasantly surprised Elf. "May I sit milady? It has been a long day."

"Certainly, would you like a glass of water or cider?" I asked gesturing at the decanters and glasses that were already on the table waiting to be used.

"No, no thank you milady I think I would rather simply give my report to you on the events of the thirty-six hours plus some in travelling time and then have a hearty meeting between my head and a soft pillow." The Elf replied smiling at me slightly as I nodded lifting my glass intent on listening to his words. He continued after a moment or two, "It is my estimation that whatever trouble that lay once between the two of them has been laid to rest, strife there may always be at times for they are different in nature. At the core, like yourself milady they are each good-hearted and desiring to do the right thing even if they arrive at the same place in different fashions. There were a few quarrels at times - but there were none which I would consider hazardous to anyone's well-being." He tilted his head, "As well I am uncertain precisely why this test was at all necessary, for I saw no cause for it."

"That is because you were not in Rivendell a few months ago," I answered watching his reaction carefully, "I felt it was required because their feuding very nearly killed me and I am not interested in falling down that trap again."

"Then barring any major catastrophe, milady I would let that rest between them and allow yourself the luxury of beginning to enjoy your own life rather than worrying when the next battle of will and fist will come between them for I do not see it happening to such a degree again."

"Thank you for your help." I said with genuine relief as I stood up, "And I trust the task was not so taxing for you as you feared that it would be."

"Not at all, they were both curious and debating for awhile in the beginning your reasons for such a task and eventually decided that it was probably something to do with their training with you. And that you wanted to be sure they were ready for whatever truly comes next for them in it. If you want my opinion, warrior to warrior, test their mettle and see where they land in the end."

I offered him a small smile, "I will take your recommendation into consideration while I consider the next steps for my sisters, thank you for your time and your assistance. If ever I can be of aid, do not hesitate to ask."

"My pleasure to be of assistance, it was certainly one of the less arduous tasks the city has asked of me." The smile was genuine, "But if I have milady's pardon I would like to go rest, the last years on the borders were taxing and this is my first opportunity to rest in a long time."

"Please, be my guest and thank you again." I said waving the guard off to attend to his other duties and headed toward my rooms, intending to consider what he had found to add to my contemplations about the five of them.


	70. Chapter 70

Chapter Seventy

"M'lady?" I heard the inquisitive question from the doorway and glanced up from my haphazard and unruly notes spread out over the table that I was currently making my own riddling puzzle out of. "What may I ask are you doing?"

I glanced over my shoulder tucking a stubborn strand of hair out of my face as I did, "Giving myself a headache apparently." I answered sparing a small smile at Erestor as he entered the room to peer over my shoulder.

"Clearly." Erestor replied dryly looking from the chaotic jumble I had spread out on the table, "What is all this, and what were you attempting to solve?" He asked picking up one of the shredded scraps of parchment and peered at it.

"Have a seat," I sighed and decided having a rational mind at the ready was a waste not to make use of it. "The long and short of it was that I wanted to determine for myself if the feuding among the five of them and their families was done." I answered taking my own seat, "All I succeeded in doing was to give myself a headache."

"It is seldom easy for the eldest of any family to recognize that they cannot solve all of the troubles among a family - the elves have seen this many times over. These battles are not yours, though they do spin around and within your world." Erestor gestured to the pile of scattered parchments, "Much of the fighting has abated, which has done wonders for your nerves, I noticed recently. Of course," He added tongue firmly in cheek, "That might also have to do with the fact you and Elrond spend a lot of time together both publicly and privately."

"I continue to thoroughly enjoy myself in his company. I have not been so at ease with anyone in many years. This goes deeper than just affection, and that took me a long time to work my way through." I answered Erestor forthrightly, "I don't claim to understand this bond-thing," I added with an uncomfortable look that shifted my gaze to the vase of vivid yellow flowers on one of the tall tables in my room, "But I respect what it means."

Erestor nodded quietly a moment, "Regardless of what it means, as long as it is understood it is there and it should be respected. If there is one thing the world has taught the Elves, it is that all things have a counter - a balance if you will. Even you, the doom-kitten of another world are steady here." Erestor's expression teetered on sarcastic without tumbling into that spin of emotion, "Your sisters often use that nickname for you rather than use your name. And, Raina it does richly suit your personality - you have the nature of a feral Elven-stable cat. Yet to those you hold dear and precious the claws vanish and tempered gentleness appears." He paused and considered it his next words for a moment, "Take the way you are with Autumn for example. Unless you are managing the children, your tone is gentlest and calmest when she seeks out your wisdom."

"Autumn does not have the life experiences the others have," I answered him picking up the piece that had her name on it and twirled it in my fingers, "Which means to me she does not yet know what a particular path will lead to. Nor does she have the wisdom to know how to see past a year perhaps two of them whereas I can look many years to the future."

"And it is why you do not blanch from telling her both paths and allowing her to make her own choices, which is both cruel and kind."

"Children, no matter their ages are allowed mistakes, which is why I do not hold anger against Nikki and Willow for theirs even with as high a price as those mistakes had." I answered him with a sigh, "Am I frustrated with their actions and decisions? Certainly, and I think I have that privilege to be since their actions damn near killed me."

"Do you believe they have put it behind them?" Erestor asked the million-gold question I had been asking myself for the last two hours, his dark gaze intense and yet somehow calm.

I sighed and glanced at the pile of chaos on the table, "I want to say yes, and the chaos there says both yes and no. I have not forgotten Willow's actions and responses recently with the boar." I remarked and eyed him, "Nor yours for that matter. However, that is one incident involving a child, who could no more defend herself against the boar than she could a man. How do I know Willow really and truly understands that lesson, that life is beyond the circle she can see and touch?"

"That is a question I think you should ask of Elrohir." Erestor remarked in a wise tone that reminded me of the way he occasionally spoke to Elrond. "He has spent much time and toil with that woman trying to learn the way her mind works. If anyone could give you a direct and unvarnished opinion of that very riddle, it would be Elrohir."

"I will ask him about it later," I glanced at the pile that I had been sorting out as the elf and I had been talking, "I do appreciate the fact you're listening to me ramble on and sort this out."

"You are most welcome." Erestor replied as he turned to pull the board I often used to leave myself notes, and often received notes upon. He flipped it over so that the empty side was facing out at both of us setting it then on the empty chair nearby. "I think you have overcomplicated the matter of your sisters." He said simply and began systematically tacking their names, and mine onto it with small tacks and pins before looking around briefly for something he did not readily see, "Do you have a roll of string that I can show you what I mean with?"

"Sure, somewhere." I answered as I walked to my desk and began rummaging before I found a small roll of blue string and handed it to him curiously.

"Thank you," Erestor murmured and began tacking the string at different places and points but they all tied together, no string was cut nor broken but tangled and messy as he began adding different issues from the table and the lines became blurred and mixed up as he crossed and sometimes double-crossed different areas. Once Erestor had finished, he looked from the convoluted mess to me and the smile was slight, "That my lady is your headache in a simplified form and physically visible form."

"My nightmare you mean." I said sitting back to study it, "But yes in a simplified and raw form it is all there. I hope that these two have solved some of these issues, if not I do not know what will come of them, or anyone else."

"I can tell you what will not happen again." Erestor answered mildly, "Your sisters will not have the opportunity to cause you the sort of grief they did once. You had tied Elrond's hands, figuratively speaking before this time there will be no tying his hands nor backing him down from them." Erestor's warning continued quietly, "Raina, do you truly understand what watching you slip away did to him?" Erestor grabbed my wrist as I went to turn away and I looked up surprised at the way in which he had looped his fingers so that I couldn't escape but the grip was not harsh. "It was destroying him to be utterly powerless to stop any of what you were enduring in silence. All he could see in part of his mind was losing Celebrian to the West again but instead of having the comfort of knowing one day they would meet he would have to watch your grave. No Elf need watch the grave of one whom they love." His voice lowered, "Lord Elrond watches enough graves Raina do not prematurely add yours to that count." With those words Erestor's hand released mine and he strode out of the room leaving me alone with too many thoughts and a riddle with no answers.

"Rare is it that you seek one of us out what can I be of assistance with?" Elrohir's voice greeted me from the far side of the dark grey stallion he was grooming. I could just see his hands over the back of the large beast and smiled faintly. Everyone I knew had some activity which was their comfort, some brooded, some worked, some cleaned but the twin sons of Elrond when they were not hunting orcs, were compulsively helping the grooms with the horses.

"I wanted to see in what way you view Willow's evolution in order to put my own mind to ease." I answered moving so that he would not have to shout out his answers to my questions.

"I think she has come quite a ways from the angry, bitter person whose life went tilted unexpectedly without hope of restoration of an accepted normality." Elrohir answered with a slight smile at me, "Much more healing is necessary, before the bubble of anger is fully deflated and destroyed, Raina but what troubles you today that you would begin to ask that question of me." Elrohir inquired brushing over the horse's neck with an expert touch.

"I want to progress their training, I know that they're ready, Elrohir at least I think they are and if I am wrong then I am doing no one a service. The only thing more dangerous than an untrained person with a weapon is a half-trained person."

"Ah, I see." Elrohir nodded, "You want them to begin forging their own ways into our world. That is understandable."

"I want them to forge their own paths, to have their own lives as they did before." I agreed with him after a moment of thought, "But I do not want to worry what that life is for them. You, most especially are aware of the struggles they have had between themselves and with me." I saw recognition dawn on his face as Elrohir nodded.

"I mean it, Willow has improved immensely over the person she was. I do not think she would again allow herself to be a willing participant in such a destructive behavior again." Elrohir tilted his head, "Overall, I find her manners far improved over the wretch I dumped into the fountain."

I managed to swallow the laugh at the memory, "I do not think I have ever been so surprised as to see anyone do that. I wonder how deeply enraged she was over it."

"Stunned mostly speechless, I would wager." Elrohir smiled faintly though I could sense his lingering amusement at the event and the resulting bitter, sullen silence, "If it came to it again I would do so and I think she knows it. Truly it is a pity, if she could lower her guard I think she would be a lot happier here in Rivendell."

"Everyone would be a lot happier with her if she could or did." I agreed quietly, "I guess the main reason I wanted your opinion was that I want to progress her training, it seems to be the thing that has her most motivated to keep control over her temper and has clearly done well for her self-discipline since you haven't dropped her in any fountains or rivers lately."

Elrohir laughed and shook his head, "I am never going to live that one down am I? Ah, well it was the kindest thing I could think to do that would simultaneously teach her a lesson and cool her off at the same time without me losing control over my own temper. But that was not your inquiry I think. Can she handle a step up in her training? I believe she could benefit from it is there another matter in which I can be a help with?"

"Nothing that comes to mind immediately though I think I will need extra sets of hands when it comes to teaching them these styles - for one thing I am not an expert in most of them if any at all."

"I would suggest two things, if I may be so bold. I would first ensure they are properly prepared for that step in their training and second ask either the Arms Master or Glorfindel for help, you need not take on that on top of the other responsibilities which are slowly becoming yours."

"Don't remind me." I muttered looking over his shoulder at the dark roan mare that one of the grooms was leading out of the stables for her daily exercise.

Elrohir's hand reached up and wrapped around my shoulder a move so unexpected that my attention ripped back to him, realizing that though the grip was firm his gaze was not, "All of Rivendell is supportive of you and my father because no one remembers him being this happy in too many years. Resistance may come from other places, Raina and I would not like to see either of you blindsided by a low hit from someone that has not had the pleasure of watching you two first dance around and then accept what actually is there."

"And just what am I supposed to do about it?" I asked feeling suddenly defensive.

He smiled patiently, clearly Elrohir had expected my response. "Take advantage of the fact you will have the winter primarily to learn of those who will likely be resistant to your presence in Rivendell; learn their strengths, Raina as you would any other foe, learn their weaknesses and develop your own strategies." The smile turned grim, "I am sure they are already doing so about you."

"I thought you might be up already," Elrond's voice was a welcome balm against my sleep-addled brain as he held the mug of steaming liquid to me. "I hope my taking the liberty of preparing a mug for you was acceptable."

"I rose. I am not shining until after this cup, maybe not even until the next one." I grumbled at him, though I spared a small smile at him as I curled into one of the chairs on the balcony.

Elrond's chuckle was quiet and I was treated to the sound a few seconds before he kissed the top of my head affectionately. I did not always understand his responses to my thoughts, my feelings or words but I did understand that the quiet thrill I received from being in his presence was not going to go away anytime in the near future. "I would not expect your mind, without sufficient stimulation to function properly."

"I rather like not being in crisis mode, Elrond." I answered him quietly though the immediate zing of the coffee was already beginning to wake up, "Since there is quiet in the land mostly - my sisters each begin forging their own way into the world which I greatly appreciate - I want to start understanding just what I accepted blindly."

"You have stayed in crisis mode for a long time, and I do not know that it will not resume once we begin to cover the ground which will become yours in the near future." Elrond agreed quietly setting his cup on the table before sitting back in his seat raising his fingers into a steeple.

"Well, aren't you all of the sudden a pile of rose petals and cheer." I retorted with no small amount of defensive sarcasm.

Elrond reached across the distance and wrapped his hand around mine the slightest smile upturning the corners of his mouth, "What I have offered you is, as so many mighty gifts often are; a double edged sword. On one hand you will have a place that is yours here, beyond that of my guest and sometimes companion. On the other hand, my dear there is the less polite aspect to such a life as you have accepted. There is the politics of the various lands, including those of mortal, of dwarven heritages and even of the other settlements of the Elves." He said quietly almost thoughtfully, "It can be dreadfully stressful when one has to incorporate all of them into one meeting. I do not look forward to those days, particularly when it is multiple representatives of each race, and of each settlement. I am sure that Erestor can point you in the proper direction for learning a bit of the histories you feel pertinent but my concern is more about the reactions related to you." The frown seemed to emphasize his point, "I do not expect any of them to understand the bond that forged itself between us; but I will insist upon it and you be respected."

_Sounds a lot like dealing with my sisters._ I thought but wisely kept that little nugget firmly behind my teeth, "It sounds like a headache just hearing about it, Elrond."

"It can be," He agreed sitting back in the chair thoughtfully, "Fortunately it is rare that Rivendell has guests of such varied and often problematic sort. However, when the rumor becomes fact about us, I am sure that such will be very different for a time."

"What do you mean?" I asked warily, feeling the familiar tingle of danger creep across the back of my neck and the very faint shift in his expression gave away that he had felt the same response as I had given.

"You will become a source of curiosity even among peoples who have already seen or heard of you by reputation. Some will simply want to get a glimpse of you - a visual to go with the name you have. Others will judge you; unfairly, harshly, cruelly even, and that is not going to deter my decisions about you, about us." He added with a steadier calm than I would have ever managed personally.

"I'm not going to just roll over and be steamrolled - run over like bear with a fawn," I clarified quickly realizing that Elrond wouldn't catch that kind of reference. "I won't start an argument, I had enough tact hammered into my head about politics, Elrond but I can and I will successfully shut one down."

I felt his relief as he sank back into his chair, "I have no doubt that you can navigate this troublesome road my dear. I have already witnessed your control and I find myself looking forward to watching you maneuver."

"You said once that much of this I would be able to select how and when I wanted to." I said knowing that I was not going to be able to participate in a public union - celebrate it and rejoice in it certainly but the actual moment? Absolutely not.

"Absolutely, is something the matter?" I heard the genuine concern in his tone as he scooted the chair closer, realizing that my voice was going to lower.

"Just how public does this whole thing have to be?" I eyed him with a faint smile trying to mask the fact that the mere idea of saying what I would want to say to him in that minute in front of a big crowd made me nauseous.

He blew out a breath and I could see him considering the best answer to that, "Tradition holds that both the joining and the subsequent celebration are public however, I do not find much traditional about you and I. Not much about our relationship has at all followed the traditional route if anything at all."

"Not much," I agreed with a wry smile, "Since you have been pulling my hide out of the fire since we met and I will forever be thankful for that." I signed once, "I can guarantee you if I'm forced to make formal a commitment in front of the whole damn known world I'm going to either run or throw up all over everything."

"I know." Elrond's answer was simple, almost as if I had told him the sky was blue or that the birds were singing, "Which is why I believe that we should make the announcement that it was impending, and private but that at a time we choose that we would open the doors to our guests for a celebration coinciding with a solstice."

"Spring." I said quietly as I had not forgotten my first in Rivendell and smiled slightly again as I rose to my feet. I paused only to set the cold coffee on the table and leaned to press my lips to his temple. "I am going to go get started on what will be required for the first part, the celebration part I am quite sure I can get assistance with."

"The help you need with any of it, Raina is only a request away. Please do not allow the amount of decisions to overwhelm you. My door is always open to you anytime you need something no matter how small."


	71. Chapter 71

Chapter Seventy-One

_Unworthy... Unfitting... Graceless ... Inappropriate..._ I had seen it in their veiled faces, heard it in the words often murmured when the Elves thought that I was out of their hearing ranges. I had accidentally heard one female railing furiously, with great venomous insult about me to Elrond himself in the relative privacy of his study and the words I had heard had left their mark against my nerves and my heart.

"I wondered when I would find you here, burning off the need to strangle our most beloved Lord." The Arm's Master's voice caressed my ears as I was in the middle of punching and kicking holes into the thick fabric covering the dummy.

"Yeah, you found me and what're you going to do? Go tattle too like everyone else who's been offended by my lack of appropriate ladylike behavior?" I snarled, having had quite enough of everyone's opinions in the last two months since the fact Elrond and I were very much a couple and bonded to each other was more or less an open secret and public knowledge.

"And lose one of the few non-elven sparring partners I've ever had the privilege of having?" The Arms Master replied quietly, dangerously so as I glared at him he returned it.

"Well given that in the last week," I snarled at him as I side stepped him to kick furiously the bag dangling from the strong rope as I spoke, "I have been told I am not ladylike enough, too opinionated and unfeminine for a start." I round house kicked the bag so that it swung in a strong arc and nearly banged into the Arms Master who calmly caught it before it did.

"I sincerely doubt that my wise Elf-Lord would lose his mind so severely as to entertain those ideas." He replied rationally and jumped as I slammed my first into the bag in answer. "Oh my you have gotten yourself worked into quite a temper." He said keeping his tone to that infernally mild tone which was only serving to make me angrier.

"Well if it so greatly offends you off with you and go tattle like that craven bitch that already declared me completely unfit for a damn job I never wanted!" I half-shouted at him planting my feet as tears burned my eyes as I looked up at him, "I didn't - and I don't - want the responsibility that comes with it but I dealt with it. I did not," I moved around him and savagely kicked the bag and watched satisfied as it spun off the strong hook in the ceiling of the indoor practice and slammed loudly onto the ground, "Sign up to be changed." I stalked out and away from the astonished Arms Master very aware of his eyes on my retreating back.

"Where are you going. it looks like you're emptying your things from these rooms." I heard the concern in the voice by the door and spared a single withering glance at the speaker.

"Might be because I am." I retorted frostily, not in the mood to be placated or mollified even by an Elf I counted as a friend, "I'm not going to be ridiculed for simply being who I am." I replied as I pulled the bag closed with the ties and lifted it to my shoulder, "I've left for anyone who has a use for it anything not in these bags."

"You cannot be serious." I heard the heightened concern in Glorfindel's voice even though his vocal level lowered which slowed my movements.

"And why not?" I retorted equally quietly, frostily, "Apparently I'm good enough to sleep with Elrond but I'm not good enough to have some sort of commitment from him."

Anger, insult and hurt mixed internally as the elf's natural lightning-fast reactions snapped out and caught my shoulder. "You are allowing temper to rule your thoughts, Raina that is not like you."

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't." I retorted icily glaring at him, "I'm not staying here." I pushed his hand away realizing that he had caught the heavy pack and kept going down the corridor, only just registered the shock he felt when I turned on a heel to reply, "Keep it, I will make do again with less than I became accustomed to."

"And what reason was given for this?" Elrond's voice was strained and the hurt was apparent for a moment, before it was replaced by the calm wall that the Elves gathered in a rough semi-circle were aware meant that he had separated the Lord from the Elf in a split second's time.

"Raina is deeply hurt, and you know very well how sensitive she is to the moods, and responses of others," Erestor began diplomatically as he glanced at Glorfindel in order to quiet his own protest, "And I would expect however much you and we moved to shield her from the criticism not all mouths are so silent."

Elrond sighed deeply, "And you let her walk out of the city?"

"Anyone, my friend who dares approach her with very rare exception is going to get the brunt of her rage," Glorfindel allowed himself a small smile, "That is one kitten who has sharp claws."

"Walking away is exactly what those who are causing this desire." Elrond protested rubbing his face tiredly, "I wish she would recognize this."

"On some level she does," Erestor replied soothingly, "And she knows if she goes at them full-force which if you recall is her normal method of dealing with trouble; it will only cause you more headache and grief."

"Sunset," Elrond decided knowing very well that Raina's passionate, fiery nature would not allow her to avoid the problem once the hurt and anger settled down the stubborn resolve would be unable to avoid returning to answer the challenge. "During which time I want to know what is and is not being said about her, and about the two of us." There was no mistaking the fact that while the patient, cool-headed Lord had won the brief struggle the Elf had been answered in that he had set a time in which he deemed fitting.

"And you will have it," Erestor said quietly, and Glorfindel cast a quick glance at the darker elf and saw that there was a quiet deadly stillness in the air around the advisor.

_Catch me as I fall  
>Say you're here and it's all over now<br>Speaking to the atmosphere  
>No one's here and I fall into myself<br>This truth drives me  
>Into madness<br>I know I can stop the pain  
>If I will it all away<em>

_(Lyrics belong to Evanescence, Whisper 2000)_

I fell asleep on the rock I had been sitting on, planning on a brief rest when I jolted up and awake at the feel of a hand on my shoulder, "Are you well my lady?" It wasn't the Elven voice I had been prepared for, nor an Elven male but a man. An ordinary, ranger-like man whose expression was concerned.

"Nothing that a little time away won't cure." I answered sitting up on the rock realizing that the way I was dressed was a giveaway at least of where I had been recently.

The man's frown deepened as he sat down on another nearby rock, "I have to ask, because we have always had a close relationship with the elves of Rivendell; are you the person that Lord Elrond's sons were searching for earlier?"

"Probably." I answered opting for honesty with the man, "But I do not wish to return to Rivendell."

"And why would that be the case, it is a beautiful city and according to Lord Elrond's sons you are well thought of." The man's voice was gently puzzled and he looked about as confused as he felt.

"It's a long story and not one I'm going to just blurt out to anyone." I answered stiffly, quite sure that the twins had likely said something to him already about it.

"Ah, sounds to me like women's business and I know just where to bring you for wisdom far greater than anyone I know personally." The man said offering me a hand, "Though please may I send word to Rivendell that you are safe, and going to be spending a bit of time in the camps with us so that at least your whereabouts will be known?"

A part of me did not want anyone from Rivendell knowing where I was, and yet a part of me did. I hadn't planned on being gone more than a few hours, and from the distance the horse had clearly travelled that day, and would return the same way it would be at least a few days. "I do not want to, but I know it is the right thing to do, the elves of Rivendell have been particularly indulgent until recently."

"Come then, for a few days away from there and see if some space does not cure the agitation you are expressing. Besides I know just the person for you to see." The man said leading me to a path even my experienced eye wouldn't have seen without it being shown.

As sunset settled down along the horizon I realized where I was, one of the settlements of humans and I saw and felt the quiet desperation that had settled over a generation of men and their children. The sweet sound of a child's laugh permeated the air and I felt a knife twist in my insides as he led me to a larger hut, and knocked on it.

To my surprise a young-looking female opened the door and embraced him before noticing me, "And what have you done bringing someone here?"

"She hails from Rivendell my love." The man's voice was gentle as he brushed a strand of her dark hair away from her face, "She needs to see Old Mother, some hurt I can sense but my hands are too rough. Old Mother will know what to do."

"But -" She began as I slipped a step backward not wanting to be the source of any more conflict when somewhere in her a recognition dawned across her face, "She's who they were looking for..."

"Yes." The man's firm tone told her the truth of it, "I will send one of the birds that Elladan left with us to Rivendell with the news she is well and in the mean time please, show her the way to Old Mother."

"Please, I will show you the way," the woman's voice was gentler as her gaze met mine and understanding dawned on her face, "Come, let him do the unpleasant work. Old Mother will have the answer to the questions in your eyes." She held out a hand and tentatively I placed mine into it.

Within moments I found myself in the busiest kitchen I had ever seen, but it was full of laughter and voices chiming with song and vivid discussion. "And what wild one came from the woods to speak to Old Mother?" an ancient voice spoke up from a far corner, gnarled old hands stirring a large bowl.

"Go on, Old Mother is very wise and it is said that she is the Mother of many generations of peoples." The man's wife said in my ear, "Often she knows one will come to us for aid, or for words, or simply appear out of the misty woods around Rivendell."

Dark eyes studied me intently and perhaps critically as I leaned forward onto the counter and held her gaze silently forcing the old woman to speak first. "So this is the lady that the Lord's sons spoke of." She said aloud to everyone and no one at the same time. "Back to work ladies, those men will come in from their riding hungry and cross without their dinners." She said slapping the contents of the bowl - some sort of dough mixture onto the counter and pointed at a bowl of nearby water, "Wash up those hands and you can knead that while you tell Old Mother what has a lady like you running away from home."

"I am no lady." I answered over a shoulder though I couldn't quite resist the slightest of smiles as I washed the dirt and dust from my hands and dried them before meeting her gaze, "I think that's the problem."

"Whose? Someone else's or yours? Hmm?" The woman asked as I dipped my hands into a bowl of freshly-ground flour to keep the dough from sticking to my fingers.

"Bit of both, mostly theirs." I answered as I began kneading the dough between my fingers, "I never pretend to be a thing I'm not - no point in that."

"Oh you are a fiery one," The old woman's laugh caused several of the others to look up from their work, "I was told I was going to like you if I met you and I can see why they'd say that - those two lads of his are good folk. They come around couple times a year on their hunts, and look after us womenfolk when we need it and keep the men in fresh supplies on the road."

"I am rather fond of them myself," I answered flipping the dough over and dug into it allowing my hands to grip the dough roughly as the woman's hand stopped mine from moving.

"Not like the way your feelings spread about their sire." The woman's voice caught me off guard and I hadn't had the time to block her from my reaction to the reference, "Oh so you are aware of the link between you two." She said quietly letting go of my hand, "Good and you have accepted it. And yet, instead of celebrating and learning to enjoy what is not going to change you are here ripping Granny's dough to pieces."

Over time the kitchen emptied as tasks were set to their own work and soon there was only the woman and I in the kitchen as I looked up from the dough, "I accepted what it meant when I realized I wasn't going to be able to just walk away from it all, not really. I even deluded myself into thinking it could work." I slapped the counter in agitation as she stayed silent. "Fat chance of that one." I muttered as the words of different people collided around my mind and clamored for dominance within the confines of it. "I didn't want any of this." The knot of frustration unraveled itself as hot angry tears blurred my vision as the gnarled hand grabbed my chin and her dark eyes swam into view.

"You may not have desired it, but it is here." Her voice was gentle even in its gravelly texture, "You are who you are child, nothing can change that unless you allow yourself to be stifled and wedged into a mold for which you were never meant to fit. You are a force to be reckoned with, I can see it and I've heard you say only a few sentences." She grinned faintly, "You can't make a cake without cracking the eggs girl. A day, maybe two you go back and crack a few eggs if you really want him." she added with a low crackling laugh, "And oh you do, that much a village fool could see."

_ Want him? Ha, that's the understatement of the year. I want him, need him in fact in a way I've never needed anyone. In a way I never dared to need another living thing._ "I do want him," I answered opting for honesty as the gnarled hands pressed a tankard of water into my hands.

"Child a woman would have to be dead and cold not to notice the beauty of the Elves." There was sympathy in her eyes however as she lowered herself to the faded blue chair beside the fireplace. "What are you really afraid of, that you would come this far north, child?"

"I wish I knew," I answered her honestly as the flickering flame drew my attention away from her, taking a seat on the rug before the fireplace.

"Think on it awhile child, sleep if you must and answer me the next time we meet."

_Fear shot up my spine as a figure out of my nightmares loomed ahead out of the darkness of the dreams that sometimes tormented my steps. "I have been waiting for you to come back to your senses and come to me like the good girl you were supposed to be." I hated him, and I feared him still even in the quiet of the night there was really no peace._

_ "I didn't." I replied forcing my voice to stay steady, unaffected even though every nerve in my body screamed to run I held my ground, "You infected my peace, and you have no power here."_

_ "Haven't I?" I saw his hand clench to a fist and drew back which put me on the defensive, "Nobody to hear you screaming, nobody to save you this time little girl."_

_ "I never wanted anyone to save me." I retorted dodging his fist and kicked at Camtamin roughly with a bare foot, "Never needed anyone to, I can save myself!"_

_ "So says the little bitch begging a goddess who didn't listen for death!" I sucked in a breath as his hands caught my around the throat and shocked myself with the cruel laugh that ripped past my lips._

_ "That's the beauty of it, Camtamin. I'm alive and you're dead. I still got what I wanted."_

_ "And here, no one will hear you scream." I heard the malicious glee as the ground rushed up to meet me offering little hope of escaping what I knew would be next. Something I hoped to have left in the past, as I kicked out at the figure of the man whose blood ran in my veins and felt only air despite the solid strong grip on my shoulders keeping me pinned and heard the wordless scream pass my lips at the knife-sharp pain ripped across my senses. "This is a dream, he's dead." I said trembling as my stomach rolled and threatened a violent mutiny over what had happened._

_ Just as suddenly the scene changed and the darkness of the dream lifted to reveal a room I knew in intimate detail - my bedroom and I was not on stone anymore but tucked into the warm blankets I knew were already on the bed for comfort's sake._

_ "Return to sleep," I heard the firm command to the voice to my left and surprised myself as I turned toward it._

_ "I am asleep this is a dream."_

_ "Yes, as we have found each other a few times before." Elrond's answer was gentle, "You left, why?" He asked as tears burned my eyes, "Why did you not come to me - or one of the others and instead you let this fester in your heart?" There was hurt in his tone, even as his hand rested on my forehead as it had during many of our discussions in private quarters._

_ "Anger. Hurt. Humiliation. Take your pick of those for a start." I retorted mildly as I felt tears prick at my eyes all over again, "I am quite aware I do not fit the expectation of your people, I did not anticipate the backlash aimed at me when you were not near to halt the words."_

_ I saw and felt the flicker of anger across his features for a split second's time and blinked as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, "Sleep in peace my dear I will see you soon."_


	72. Chapter 72

/Author' note: I just want to take a moment before relinquishing the floor to the story to thank everyone who has taken this journey with the Elves, and me. I have found a great deal of enjoyment in the responses I have gotten but without two people pushing, prodding and encouraging me a bit at a time through this none of us would be reading and enjoying this - Kaashaa and Glory Bee who has been a very helpful beta for a long time. Please, read review send PM to me if there's something you don't like, do like or just don't understand. Thank you again ~silentdovesong

Chapter Seventy-Two

"Let her go," I heard Old Mother's voice from the doorway as I headed toward the stable where a large black horse stood as if waiting for me. He had only a rope halter but that was all that I needed as he was standing near to a fence that I climbed easily and from there landed on the horse's back. "Nightstar will keep her safe."

"And leave a man without his horse." I heard the protest of one of the Rangers and turned the head of the horse toward them.

"I hardly think Elladan of Rivendell will mind me borrowing his second-most favored steed. I expect I will meet either himself or Elrohir along the path." I said in smooth common enjoying the fact my faint accent leaned more toward Elvish than my native tongue.

"Go on child before you lose the day," Old Mother urged me and I turned the horse again with a calm look enjoying the way he moved under me.

I had a new respect for those whose function was patrolling on horseback - I was dreadfully sore after hours on Nightstar's back and longing for a soak in one of the heated pools if nothing else once I arrived at the city proper. Night was creeping along the valley as I steered him around the corners and despite myself yelped finding myself flanked by both of the elven twins and smiled faintly.

"What insult have I done to make you so upset as to steal my horse from the Rangers." Elladan's voice held in it the true edge of hurt but I sensed that it was not over the horse but over his father.

"I felt expediency was more important." I answered him lowly, "I apologize for my borrowing of the horse and we can work out payment later, first I need to see about Elrond." I answered him in the same low tone and jumped at his hand on my wrist.

"Your debt I will forget if you can make right what happened to make you run. He has not been able to eat or sleep properly in days." I heard the concern in his voice and met the eyes of his father in the face of his son and not as steadily as I would have liked.

"I will not make a promise I cannot be certain to keep but I do assure you I will find out what can be done."

"You should also know, that your sisters, Rumil and we have with Erestor's assistance been rooting out whose rumors and words you have been hearing." Elrohir spoke up as we headed down the path three abreast on the path. "Father was quite pressed to keep his temper when he realized what was going on and I can assure you we did not."

I allowed a ghost of a smile to cross my lips, "Do you have a place I should begin to look for him?" I asked pulling my hood back up over my head knowing it made me indistinguishable from any number of people unless I spoke.

"When Father has not been actively working he has been in his reading-room unable to focus on much more than a few pages at a time." Elladan said by way of answer as he smiled suddenly, "Dismount, and we'll lead him. Go in the shadows of the buildings and allow the others to think you are still away with the Rangers. I want to see their true reactions on the morrow."

I knew an invitation when I heard one and slipped from the horse's back and looked up at the elder twin with a ghost of a true smile on my lips, "Thank you my friend and please see that this generous fellow gets the full treatment, he has well tolerated an out of shape rider pushing his limits."

"I will, Nightstar is a fine stallion." Elladan answered as I slipped into the shadows and headed off deliberately into the wrong direction before veering into the paths that would lead me to the private quarters. The closer my feet led me the heavier the weight on my chest became, and I hurried my steps because if I did not I was going to be swallowed up by the sense of worry and growing despair. _I should have sent word ahead and eased his mind beyond a dream._ Guilt ate at my conscience and I struggled to shake it off as I moved at a brisk, nearly dancer's pace through the corridors out of sight in no small part due to the fact my cloak blended to the growing shadows and my clothing was a dark color. I was only vaguely aware of the way the hood fell backward in my steps or the fact my haphazard travelling braid was falling apart as I hurried into a tangle of half-waves past my shoulders.

I missed the entryway into the private reading-room since I had only been there a few times and the sharp pained gasp of breath in the silence of the corridor had me whirling around aware of the braid unraveling partly into my face as I did. I knew I looked an unraveled mess as the book he had in one hand tumbled forgotten from his fingers. For a moment I wished I had taken the time to at least wash the smell of horse off of me but that was a fleeting thought as his hand held the doorframe as if it was the only thing real in the moment.

_I should say something _I thought fleetingly as a thunderstorm of emotion raged inside me warring for control and instinct propelled me forward. I was barely half-aware of the sight I must have made and truly did not care. All the world could have seen the moment and I wouldn't have cared. In a single moment my world tipped itself right and I felt the shake of his shoulders brief as a leaf breaking contact with the branch before steadying. There were footfalls on the other end of the corridor that stopped short and sudden as I squirmed not to get free as he presumed at first but to meet his gaze.

There were a hundred words that I wanted to say, each of them urgent and impossible to say at the same time and the understanding flared as his hands shifted to support my weight better. The swell of words tangled themselves and tore apart my already fragile defenses particularly at the faint glimmering to his gaze that I could see - no one else could at that distance - and tried a simpler readily understood gesture instead. I wriggled one hand free to touch his cheek, shivering lightly at the cool skin against my warmer hand before pressing my lips to his softly at first as I saw the shock in his gaze. The words I couldn't make sense of enough to speak poured themselves into the kiss, crashing somewhere between greeting, apology, love and desire. He pulled back first and it wasn't until then that I realized the tears had begun blurring my vision as he set me down more steadily than I was able to stand and faced the stunned crowd, most of whom I recognized instantly.

Erestor stepped forward out of the mass of people, a mix of Elven and partly mortal and broke the silence with a bit of humor, "While I cannot say that I am sad to have witnessed that exchange," He paused with his trademark dry humor as there were chuckles from around him as Glorfindel's smirk gave away their shared amusement more than the drier sense of humor from the mild mannered Advisor. "I would much appreciate forewarning if you two decide to single-handedly turn a corridor into a steam bath."

My fragile, fraying hold on my control didn't snap, it shattered as glass on stone burbling in a rush of sound that was somewhere between laughter and tears that spread as if were an airborne infection.

"I think," Elrond's voice cut through the chaos of my rippling, vibrating emotions with a firm tone though I could feel that my emotions were ripping across his and there was a moment in which he was struggling to contain his response, "That Raina and I have a few matters to discuss without the prying eyes and ears to distort what is actually being said."

"I think, my friend that is a good idea." Glorfindel spoke up calmly cutting off the inevitable protest with a raised hand, "Raina can tell us about her trip when she's ready."

Within a few minutes the crowd dispersed and it was Elrond and I in the corridor alone and I sagged against the wall now that the press of their emotions wasn't throwing mine back at me I saw his hand reach for mine and placed it into his.

Elrond and I walked in silence together, each of us were afraid to break the spell of the reunion until at least we arrived at the familiar door that marked the beginning of his sanctuary of rooms allowing his empty hand to rest upon the handle to open it. "Please, I would rather have this discussion privately and without the eyes and ears to hear of matters which concern none but either of us."

I nodded quietly and together we entered the room and I sensed the soft crackle of spells this time not only to lock the door, but also to ensure absolute privacy for us as I expected at first anger to erupt and began shoring up my defenses newly made fresh by my discussions with Old Mother when I found myself instead faced with concern rather than anger.

"I have only one question to which I require an answer before I will consider this matter resolved." Elrond's voice held in it restrained anger and upset as I tilted my head so to face him more steadily than I felt, "What possessed you to just run away from everything, from me?"

"I am accustomed to coping with my troubles on my own, without a lot of assistance from anyone." I answered him slowly as he remained standing as did I in return. "I have spent the better part of my life depending on exactly one person to solve my problems, so this sharing troubles thing, it's pretty new to me and it seemed pretty stupid to come running to you over it at least to me. I mean I wasn't probably supposed to know what was going on behind my back after all."

"But to walk away, that hardly seems like your style." Elrond prompted as I laughed bitterly.

"In case my lord you missed the memorandum I am not a lady, I don't play the petty games of he-said she-said. I graduated past those around the time of my first menstrual cycle. Which, also means that my normal method of dealing with an errant, overindulged faerie wanna-be princess is most frowned upon." I paused and allowed myself a moment of satisfaction of the idea of hitting the aforementioned if I ever determined the culprit of that statement in the nose, "I felt in light of the fact that my temper direly wanted to punch the sense back into said individual that taking a walk was the best option I had. Unfortunately that walk turned out to be several days and a serious talking-to by an old woman."

Elrond looked startled by my response but then slowly he smiled slightly, "So it seems that my friends were correct in that you would return when you had finished regaining control over your temper."

"I was not going to initially," I admitted quietly and hated the way his emotions twisted in my insides as much as my own did, "And yet when I left the Rangers camp I could go nowhere else. You were here, and everything I want - no matter how damn scary it is for me - is here in Rivendell waiting," I finished. It sounded lame even to my ears, and at the same time it was absolute truth.

"There is always going to be someone looking for a way to puncture your self-assurance, you are infernally intimidating for the female elves that call Rivendell home." Elrond said as I could feel his tangle of emotion evaporating into a more patient affection and surprised amusement at my dubious look, "You are." He said taking both of my hands in his, "Why else would any of them either independently or together conspire to chase you from the one place you have said yourself was home?"

He had a point and I couldn't avoid conceding the point and nodded after a few minutes, "I am truly sorry for losing control over my reactions, I think Glorfindel said something of the like and I wasn't listening to him at that moment. I just needed to get away from it."

"I need to know you are not going to be doing the same during a visit from an ambassador, as there are frequently representatives of all of the lands with which there are alliances and potential alliances in attendance here, in Rivendell." Elrond's voice held in it concern as I snorted and shook my head.

"If there is one thing I learned how to do it was comport myself with absolute appropriate dignity and with just enough attitude to get what I wanted wheedled out of nearly anyone. I have no need to run from an ambassador provided he or she is not seeking to toss me into their bed, in which case all bets will be off."

He laughed quietly and bent to press his lips to the top of my head, "I would enjoy the reaction of the poor ambassador with that particular idea nearly as much as I would to see you disable such a thing I am certain such would be a sight."

"I will, in that case ensure that you can see that." I answered yawning once then blushed slightly, "I am sorry it has been a difficult couple of days and I am quite certain I am going to be accosted by everyone from my sisters to the planners - who knew that a simple ceremony was going to drive me positively out of my mind with details?"

"Come then," His gaze softened to something more than the remote and aloof lord that had pelted me with the questions and deliberately when I was too tired to be anything but honest, and even more than the compassionate healer that had sought to right the wounds in my mind but my friend and lover, "Let us drop you into a bath and tomorrow we will field many of your tasks together."

"No. Absolutely not and No!" My voice raised exponentially in frustration and I stamped my foot as I resisted the compulsion to flip the table over and shock the gathered elves.

"But this an important occasion," One of the three protested weakly as I glared witheringly at him.

"This occasion belongs to me," I said leaning forward on the table and eyed the first piece of hated parchment which was the so-called guest list, "Which means I, not you or you or you get the final say in things. And the first thing to go is this." I said snatching up the list of names and flung it into the fireplace and enjoyed the sound of the flames licking and eating through the dry page as the overly helpful Elf moaned a protest.

"But that list..."

"Is unimportant." I replied mildly, "And utterly unnecessary as it is to be a family-only affair. I do not expect an assassin taking aim at either of us on any such day." _And less one to succeed since Erestor and Glorfindel will be in attendance._ I added with a benign smile. "I trust that will not interfere with your carefully laid plans?"

"But- but"

It was unkind to be so angry when they were truly trying to help and I looked to Morwen, the she-elf assigned to assist me as a liaison between the crafters and myself and she nodded with a smile, "The Lady is quite correct, Lord Elrond was most specific to me that this was a small gathering of only their respective immediate families and not a ceremony meant for all eyes. You will have the full celebration you seek come the next Solstice Rivendell hosts."

Within a few hours many of the details had been settled but for the most personal decisions. Among them was what to wear and who would stand up with us as was a custom in many places. For these I wanted a few hours of quiet, a glass of a sweet red wine and a crackling fireplace to stare into and muse.

What I was going to get first, was however was going to be a meeting with the seamstress who had come highly recommended from both Erestor and Elladan who agreed without question that this particular elf would be able to concoct exactly what I wanted for the clothing. I had never met this particular Elf in person before, but I realized in an instant that I had been wearing her creations from the beginning of my stay in Rivendell. Her warmth was apparent as I entered the small, crowded work-room and smiled back unable to help responding to her.

"So you are the lady I've been working off of sketches and description and numbers, a pleasure truly to have you in my sights." The merry voice took me by surprise as the apprentice at her side was quite clearly amused.

"Never mind Lady Aerieniel my lady she is always excited to have such a delicate creature in her expert hands." He laughed and shook his head at her scolding look.

"Ah, I could be annoyed if he did not speak so true." The seamstress said gesturing at a seat for me and took out a large drawing pad, "So tell me what you see when you think about it?"

"Including or excluding the fact I'd rather not have to at all?" I answered relaxing a bit as her apprentice passed a glass of a rich wine - so I would get half of my wishes. "Simple, elegant and comfortable." I answered quietly, "And not in white or pink for the love of the gods."

"No, no those colors do not flatter a flower as you." Aerieniel agreed merrily her hands sketching busily on the pad already, "Oh do not fuss over what I am doing I am merely sketching out ideas for myself of course." She said realizing I was lost for much past that and stood up again, "Come with me, if you would." Aerieniel continued thoughtfully, "Perhaps if you saw some of the choices that I am certain will better suit your coloring and features something will strike your fancy."

I was shocked at the careless way she tossed the fabric around and soon came to a pile of fabrics that appeared to have been handpicked for someone with my fair coloring and apparently I did a poor job of masking it as she laughed brightly.

"My specialty is finding colors which suit an individual, and you my dear child need to avoid some but stay well within others." She said as a bolt of what appeared some sort of rich fabric the color of a frosted icicle and stopped dead in her track. "Now this is a color for you, even if not for this purpose but I will be earmarking it for you particularly." She said with a thoughtful expression before setting several bolts of cloth together, in different shades of green. "I especially like you in greens my dear lady." she said thoughtfully a gesture which made me smile slightly as I realized who Elrond had conscripted to actually keep me in proper clothing.

"I assume then, given the colors to my wardrobe that you are the one providing much of it."

"I have been known to produce a piece or two at the request of Lord Elrond." She answered me as my attention swiveled from her to a bolt of cloth that was exactly the shade of the emeralds I had seen being cleaned in one of the busy state rooms and stopped moving. The seamstress had a keen eye and I could sense her approval, "That is a good choice for either of you, interestingly enough though rare is it my lord Elrond would wear such a color."

I smiled faintly and shook my head at her, "I have seen him wear such a color, mainly in the spring or early summer." I countered with a cautious curious gaze and found a shade of pale jade, the material as soft as the first and set them together. "These are my choices of colors, I would assume that is satisfactory."

"I can work with those my lady." She answered me with a smile, "Do you trust me to work up a full dress or would you prefer to pick the details?"

I decided to throw myself a single surprise in this, having found very few flaws to the seamstress' work previously and smiled at her, "Surprise me, but please keep it simple, clean lined and easy to move in."

"I think, my dear I can come up with a sketch or two for you to see in a matter of a few hours or less." She answered surprising me with a hug, "And thank you for the honor of creating this gown and perhaps the other pieces you will need."

A few hours later I wandered through the city allowing my feet to wander where they wished and enjoyed the overall quiet of the corridors. The silence was permeated, though not punctured by the singing and laughter of the naturally cheerful Elves and were exactly what I wanted to hear as I found myself in the spacious place known commonly as the Hall of Fire. I had to have spent two hours in that beautiful, bittersweet room looking over the murals and the items within the room and for a moment a realization struck me. It was a place of memories, of the lessons of the past, and of the moments which have profound effects upon their world. I found myself struck by an underlying sense of sadness and sat on one of the benches for a very long time, trying to process all that I had seen in that hall before rising to walk out of it with a new understanding of the quiet resolution and the reserve that kept Elrond at that slight distance from even his own kin. As often as I had been betrayed, or left behind by others so had he which went far in explaining why when I had direly needed someone he had persisted past when I would have succeeded in pushing others away at first then stayed for himself.

"And for me." I murmured as I rose to my feet and slipped out of the Hall and breathed in the clean not-quite wintry air outside and smiled to myself knowing that the change that I could taste in it was upon everyone sooner than they might realize in the private ceremony to come.

"You are edgy." Elrond's voice was a soothing balm against my nerves as I accepted the half-glass of wine in the privacy of his seating area smirking slightly.

I am sorry, I must be projecting my emotions again I am not intending to do so." I answered as he retrieved his own glass from the table that the decanter had been resting upon.

"Is there something bothering you that you do not wish to express? Or is it anxiety because it is now within a fortnight's time that the official recognition comes?"

"I cannot quite help it, though nearly everything is complete." I answered with a quiet sigh resting my head on the back of the couch looking up at the ceiling of his room and allowed myself to relax a moment. "I really, really hate waiting for something when it's something perhaps not wholly desired but exactly what I need."

"Patience, Raina as difficult as being patient can be it is only a few days after all and the first steps will be complete." Elrond's hand drew a pattern on my thigh almost absently, "I feel obligated to remind you that if you are going to back out you need to soon."

I raised my head to eye him coolly, "Much as I do not desire to experience the constant cluster headache and continual stomach pains that dealing with the life path that is your burden Elrond." I spoke slowly and calmly even if I felt neither of those things, "Ultimately I cannot live a life in which I cannot meet my own reflection."

"Enough before you think too much and put yourself in a foul temper that even smashing the dummies belonging to the guard does not alleviate." Elrond's fingers trailed suggestively, and distractingly over my shoulders and the light dancing in his grey eyes revealed exactly which distraction he had in mind for us both.


	73. Chapter 73

Chapter Seventy-Three

My eyes focused on the expanse of skin and breathed in a lungful of his scent and relaxed with a quiet sigh. I heard the soft chuckle and the trail of his fingers along the back of my neck sent a river of gooseflesh rippling down my spine. "Morning." His soft greeting held in it the sleepy satisfaction lingering from the evening before.

"At least you possess the good sense still not to tell me 'good morning'." I answered with a sleepy yawn before settling down against his chest again with a quiet sigh.

"And why pray tell would I waste my breath so early? There are only two ways in which a morning rises above growling from you." Elrond's voice held in it his soft chuckle of amusement, his fingertips trailing suggestively over my shoulder and back as if to entice my mind away from my prized coffee.

It was working, and in a slow and steady fashion that made leaving the warm cocoon of blankets unpalatable for me, as I squirmed lightly looking up at him the soft plea dying on my lips as his hand dipped lower to lightly swat my hip and surprise flashed across my face in instant response.

"So it is possible to surprise the little temptress." There was definite enjoyment of the revelation in his tone and in the quieted grey gaze.

"It is always possible." I countered and stretched in order to lightly bite into his lower lip lightly, my eyes never leaving his.

"I look forward to a lifetime of years to discover the ways." He said softly with a quiet sound of his own before I blinked, finding myself pinned under his weight in a single smooth movement genuinely surprised as I hadn't expected that.

"Well you've got me what do you plan on doing with me?" I asked mischievously, not quite able to stop myself from the question as his hands were still wrapped gently around my hips.

"I could tell you," His murmur was against my lips before biting into my lower lip squeezing my side lightly, "But that would ruin a perfectly good surprise." _I hate surprises._ I thought to myself even as my hands wrapped around the back of his neck watching his expression through my lashes. "Oh that is right, you do not like surprises so the rumor goes." His lips dropped to my neck and nipped there lightly causing me to squirm softly in response.

"As a norm, no I do not." I answered, not daring to raise my voice over a quiet murmur as his frame curled against my belly and chest. His head lowered even as I murmured my reply and I could feel the soft trail of his lips along my shoulder and gently lower still caused me to utter a second, slightly squeaked sound. I felt the brush of his fingers along my side, squirming as breath danced across my skin, "I was unaware that small cats squeaked, I must not have found the right touch yet..."

I awoke the morning before the official ceremony with a violent headache and a nervous stomach. I saw Morwen's tentative approach and spoke in a low, very dangerous voice before she could speak, "If it does not require my direct authorization, or personal involvement of myself or Lord Elrond immediately I want one hour to first convince my head it is not permitted to explode and second persuade my stomach into allowing me to eat."

She nodded and spoke quietly, "If it is permitted may I enlist someone to act in your stead while you are spending a bit of time resting?"

"Nikki can, if she has the time." I said remembering Nikki's offer of helping me out in whatever way she could before.

"I can what now?" Nikki asked as she slid into her seat with a pastry and mug of hot cocoa before her gaze focused on mine and the light crease of concern appeared between her eyebrows.

"I am fine, it's just a stress reaction." I said getting up, "But in the meantime you know my style and preferences as nearly as anyone else that isn't me. So you're elected to go with Morwen once you eat and find out what the craftsmen need - besides the final dress fitting - and I'm going to take a nap."

"Are you all right, you look like you're going to be sick." Nikki said as she and the others piled into my living room relaxing to enjoy the evening with me.

I'm torn between running and throwing up." I admitted as I settled back into my chair as I saw Destiny cross to where there was a tray of several decanters. "Two of those are wine, and there better be a cider." I said tilting my head back to watch her movements .

"You'd only be delaying the inevitable," Autumn said perching on the arm of my chair and took my hand in hers, "And if you keep running you're probably going to find the end of Lord Elrond's infinite patience and I personally do not want to be within a hundred leagues of him when he blows."

I laughed despite myself as she stuck her tongue out at me, "You're probably right I'm just plain old ordinary scared this time."

"Of what?" Nikki asked throwing a pillow at me as she shook her head at Autumn and I.

"Do you really want to dig up ancient history there, Nikki?" I retorted throwing the pillow back at her as the tension began lessening with the familiar chaos of their nearness was a comfort of its own.

"Not really, everybody knows I went from a little wild to domestic goddess, not that I think you're going to make that kind of drastic transition, I mean you're you."

"That's just it," I sighed and leaned back into the chair, "I've had so many wretched people tossing ideas of what I should be like and completely without regard for who I actually am its horrible."

"I think you should do what Jase and Tommy used to say when we were dealing with a tough spot as Rangers." Kris spoke up from where she was perching on the couch braiding Willow's hair, "Treat a problem like a dog would - if you can't eat it, or play with it piss on it and walk away."

I had not realized just what struggles they had muddled their way through as Rangers as their discussions diverged into it and I was relieved to see that enough time had passed through their fingers to be able to laugh and joke about a situation that was, at the time very dangerous. One by one beginning with Autumn they fell asleep and I found myself draping blankets over them and curled up in the large window and enjoyed the view from it.

I had sometime in the night fallen asleep because I was being shaken awake by Nikki who had one hand on my shoulder and the other held in it a steaming mug of coffee. "Rise and shine." She said with mock sincerity as I stuck my tongue out at her taking the coffee out of her hands and let my feet dangle off of the windowsill. "Everyone but me went to change, I um took the liberty of moving all my stuff here that way I could help you, I mean that was what you needed of me wasn't it?"

"You're the resident expert on this nonsense where do I start?" I asked polishing off the coffee mug in several gulps which Nikki promptly set on the vanity and poured a second serving into and dropped the creamer and sugar into it for me.

"Bath first, I know you took one last night but trust me the hot water will relax you and calm even your nerves a little bit." Nikki said insistently pushing me toward the bathing room and I was relieved to have that last bit of silence.

That silence did not last nearly long enough but if it lasted a minute more I was not going to be ready. They were all back and I was quickly caught up in the preparations for them and myself. My secret had been the dress itself, and only one other person had ever set eyes on it and she had impeccable timing. The door opened and the seamstress slipped in looking around amused as the five of them were in the process of getting ready and she kicked me oh so helpfully out of my chair, "Come I want to see it again on you and make sure it is right before I go drive Lord Elrond to distraction with fussing with the lines for his robes." It was obvious that she was in her element as she pulled out the gown - it was a dress really but it was so much more as I saw her critical eye on the fabric as she did. "I hope this is somewhere near the lines that you were thinking of when you were describing the ideal look for this event." She said as deft fingers began unpacking the dress so that it could be displayed for my final opinion of the dress.

If there was one thing I had learned about an elf was their tendency to ignore suggestions that they felt were unjustified and this was one instance I was glad to see that my initial reflex to stay to a simpler line was heeded and the result was simply stunning - for once I was beyond words. It was a long sleeved, dyed velvet piece with a hood that would block the wind from my back if I wore it up and would add dimension to the dress if I did not. I blinked a few times in my shock and looked up at the question almost baffled. I was still looking over it, wrapped in my dressing-gown when Autumn and Nikki poked their heads around the screen, "Can we see what tongue-tied the doom-kitten or not?"

"Come along then maybe your presences can jolt her out of her shock." The seamstress certainly seemed amused by then as I looked from the dress back to them.

"I like it off of you, but I want to see it on before I make a final judgment on it." Nikki said smiling at me then Autumn who nodded intently.

Within a few minutes I was safely ensconced into the velvet perfection and stared blankly at the looking-glass at my reflection - I was certain that it was me as I could see in it Nikki and the seamstress who was busily checking the hemlines and the flow of the dress for exacting precision. I was glad then that she had chosen to go light to dark with the dye as I folded my hands nervously before me as the seamstress finished knowing that I was at my sisters' mercy for help with hair and what bit of face coloring there was in Rivendell.

"Perfection, shoes are in the bag for when you leave and accessories sent along from the smiths are in the box on the vanity, if you ladies need me, I will be with Lord Elrond and his sons inspecting their garb."

"I didn't realize you hadn't been cutting your hair anymore." Willow remarked as Nikki stood behind me and she sat in one of the chairs watching us, "I mean I don't remember it being much past your shoulders and it has gotten long."

"I stopped thinking about it." I answered as Nikki's most recent attempt at doing something with it failed and it flowed over my face in a red river. "Besides with Camtamin gone the need to keep it too short for a tail to be grabbed was too."

"Move," Willow said with a laugh shoving Nikki lightly, "You're used to dealing with thick hair like you've got let me try? Please." She said softly looking at Nikki who looked nearly as surprised as I felt.

"Let her try," I said quietly meeting Nikki's eyes in the mirror-glass, "We have the time to try a few times before we have to get down to that room."

I was pleasantly surprised by the deft, gentle touch of Willow's hand with the brush and she smirked at me in the mirror, "Well who else do you think keeps Airese's hair brushed in that braid?" She commented mildly as she smoothed down a strand of my hair, "I think it should be down, nobody's really seen it but Lord Elrond and the shock of the combination of color and the offset of the green should be fabulous." She said looking at me for approval.

I had nearly reached the garden when the overwhelming panic of just how deep the pool I was stepping into - the ramifications were far and wide and had to stop unable to focus on the harp being played by one of the minstrels and wrestle down the pressing need to run.

"I had thought so," Erestor's voice jolted me terribly as I spun to face him expecting anger or upset and found compassion and a hint of wisdom as the distance closed between us, "Breathe." He said lowly reaching for my hands which were to my dismay shaking, "You are going to make yourself ill." He warned gently as I closed my eyes.

_No really I thought being lightheaded was normal._ I thought as I found my feet moving toward the entry and relief surged as I could feel, even at a distance that I was not the only one a little anxious about everything. I paused thankful for Erestor's wisdom to stand discreetly that half-step behind me as I needed a moment to find my breath, that my eyes would focus on Elrond instead of the overwhelming picture of everything in that garden from my sisters to the carefully selected elves who were waiting for me to take the last dozen or so steps forward.

Under normal circumstances, and day to day events I fount Elrond to be extremely attractive, but my first full view of his more formal robes in the color of a deep wine and overlaid a dark charcoal grey tunic and slacks with his hair actually properly braided I had to file the image in my mind to indulge in the visual later as I stepped the last foot forward.

"The box, Erestor." Glorfindel's voice held in it the quiet command that I had heard ringing across his practice field and I realized that the small box had come from a hidden pocket of the Chief Counselor's dark blue robes. Glorfindel accepted it and removed the lid to my surprise and held it to each of us, Elrond taking the one that was to be mine and I took his as Glorfindel continued speaking, "I have heard and seen a hundred ceremonies and partaken in a great many of them personally and none have given me the sense of pride and honor as this one. Relationships meant to last a lifetime, be that lifetime a year or a thousand of them are built upon the foundations of friendship, of humor, and of trust. Both of you," Glorfindel's eyes met Elrond's then mine the very faintest of smiles curving his lips, "Have known the bitter sting of betrayal and the sweet reprieve of affection and love, even when that love was something unexpected and altogether necessary." He looked to Elrond with an expression that spoke of pure fondness, and of brotherhood, "I remember when the light now back in your eyes diminished and the running of this realm became your life, outside of the needs of your children." He smiled faintly and turned our attention to the three of them, "I note that your children stand in firm support of this step for each of you." He continued at the soft nod of the three of them as Elrond released one of my hands to brush back the pale jade hood and met my gaze with enviable steadiness as his hand covered mine again before he spoke to me though his volume was not loud and the cool of the metal band brushed along my fingers to come to rest in its final place.

"I have heard every claim there is in relation to what words to give in honor of a bond such as the one we have between us - eternal love, devotion, loyalty and honor - all of those are feelings I do not need to promise you, those are yours every day. In that spirit, Raina I have come to realize that I do not need to shelter you from the storms. Instead I can best be a part of your life as the haven you can return to in the joyful times and in the ones which cause upset; And that is my promise to you. So long as my feet rest in welcome where they stand so shall yours."

_I have a home, for the first time in so long... _It was an effort to take the room to its knees with the words I was listening to, knowing they were not the words of the Elven-Lord, but the words of the Elf so often hidden under layers of propriety and dignity and he meant them without question. More importantly he could, and would deliver on that promise. I needed an extra minute as his fingers squeezed mine gently before I could speak at all. "I have spent a long time looking for an honorable way to die," I squeezed his fingers at the tense grip of them on mine, "That was not to be my fate, however much I might have pleaded with gods I no longer have faith in. Instead, someone valued my life more than I did, and chose to place you directly in the path of the death I wanted and I have never been more thankful for anything I have ever received. I will not place myself in the direct path of danger with that intent again." I swallowed blinking a few times before continuing knowing I was laying myself vulnerably bare, "You have my life in your hands, Elrond though it is my duty to see to it that you may keep it without watching over my grave too soon." I said feeling the metal of the ring I held in my hands being turned as I was speaking in a nearly nervous habit that slid the ring over the first knuckle of his fingertip before gliding to its final resting place.

"you may kiss the lady," Glorfindel's voice was quiet, directed at us as ever so slightly with nerves, Elrond lifted my feet completely off of the ground as his gaze locked on mine for a single heartbeat, before dropping the softest and shortest kiss on my lips that would hold in it the promise of more later as he pulled away and set me lightly on my feet again, so that we could turn toward the gathered, "It is my distinct pleasure to present, the Lord and the Lady of Rivendell."


	74. Chapter 74

Chapter Seventy-Four

"Raina," I heard Elrond's voice from a few steps away as I stood on the balcony and felt the wind blowing through my hair, causing me to turn slightly so that I could face him. "Is something troubling you?" He asked, covering the short expanse in two easy strides to rest both of his hands on my shoulders.

"No, nothing really." I answered him with a slight smile as I looked up at him, "I just needed to catch some air after the fire was lit for warmth inside."

"You are still uncomfortable in any sort of crowd, even one primarily comprised of family." Elrond's words were laced with understanding and compassion. "It will ease with time I am sure and time is something we do have."

Reluctantly I sighed again and smiled as he was the buffer between the cool wind and my skin and enjoyed the comfort of his hands on my shoulders, "I have half a mind to let them all have their celebration and retire for the evening." I admitted mildly.

"Come back inside," Elrond suggested quietly, steering me toward the inside even as he spoke the words, "It is cool out here and I do not wish for you to spend our first weeks together unwell."

I allowed myself to be gently steered back indoors and saw that he would compromise with me on coping with my nerves and fatigue by claiming one of the comfortable lounging couches for us. It was also one of the first openly affectionate gestures from him toward me, or admittedly me to him. Discretion and polite overtures had been the name of the game, or in his case continual small sneaky surprises and gifts.

"Let her rest," I heard the murmur from Elrond as my eyes closed using the comfortable shoulder as a headrest as I sighed quietly, relaxed in no small part by the gentle trail of fingertips circling on my neck and shoulder. "Raina's reserves are utterly spent from today."

"It was an emotional day, for everyone and she was completely unguarded for so long today." Nikki's fingers brushed against my hand as I fought to surface and be aware, "Raina doesn't do unguarded Lord Elrond - you know that and yet today she lowered them all for just a few minutes. Being here, really has been the healthiest thing for Raina."

"Thank you." Elrond said simply as I felt his arms wrap protectively around my chest, "It has been a long road for Raina to come to this point in healing, Nikki and we are all aware that there are many more miles to go."

"She'll get there in time." Nikki's voice held in it a smile I could see as my eyes opened again slowly with a yawn, "Well hells bells! Sleeping beauty come to play with the natives again?" She laughed as I crossed my eyes at her.

"I wasn't sleeping, just really sleepy for a few minutes and chose to rest." I said yawning once as Elrond's body reflected the heat of the nearby fireplace.

"Sure, sure." Nikki's laugh made me smile, "Coffee time again?"

"It is always coffee time." I answered with a chuckling grin. "All the time."

"I'll get it," Nikki offered as I placed my hand on Elrond's and shivered, realizing suddenly why he was reluctant to let me move from the comfortable seating. He was fatigued, and yet gently stirred by the simple intimacy of the innocent seating arrangement.

"It is good that she did, because I am not letting you go until we retire for the evening. I believe I have earned the privilege of having your company as long as I wish tonight." Elrond said quietly as he shifted his weight to reach for a pillow while his whisper was of a promise for later was enough that I shivered with a blush and looked up guiltily at Nikki whose raised eyebrow at my reaction.

"Well that must've been good because you almost never blush at anything." She remarked mildly passing me the mug of sweetened coffee.

"That is for you to fantasize about." I answered tongue-in-cheek as I accepted the mug from Nikki, "But thank you for getting this for me."

"Of course." Nikki smiled at me as she looked up at Tommy's appearance behind her, "Hey, did the kids settle at all with all this excitement?" She asked as he kissed the top of her head.

"Yes, however if you ever ask me to give a sugar-hyped Cayden a bath again I will be sorely tempted to not just spank him." Tommy said with a laugh as she gave him a horrified look. "Don't you give me that look, I am not sure who was wetter me, him or the walls."

"Children are only young for a little while," Elrond said soothingly and gestured to where his own sons were sitting talking with Glorfindel and Erestor animatedly, "And then they grow up and display all the lessons which you have taught them. Not least important is the ability to have fun, and to love. Enjoy the younger years, you two, for those years are fleeting and precious to hold."

"I know they are, but if you'll excuse me I need to find a ladies room, I am beginning to think I drank a lake somewhere," She said shaking her head while walking toward one of the doors leading to the corridor.

"She's been doing that for days," Tommy said as his eyes followed Nikki's path, "And if I did not know better..."

"Bull," I answered with a laugh, "Anything is possible and you can't tell me you two haven't in the last little while." I said knowingly, "You forget I lived in your house before."

"And we now live in yours." Tommy countered and smiled faintly, "I hope you don't mind that - Nikki is absolutely in love with this city and with the kids and the three you brought to us for caretaking I can't imagine her being happy anywhere else."

"We will work on the details of that matter for you all once we have an opportunity to grow comfortable in our new roles," Elrond said comfortably, "I am sure that there is a house that will suit your family's needs in the city, as well it would not take long for one to be made for you."

"I couldn't take a house, not when we've only been taking I need to give back and Nikki is feeling the same way." Tommy protested as Elrond raised his hand to stop the flow of words.

"Rivendell is a haven which has a rich trade with many places, and our tradesmen are willing and capable teachers. I am certain you will both find your ways in time. Do not worry."

"Thank you, that generosity will never be forgotten." Tommy said with a smile, "I am sure that we will find our way if you say it will happen."

About an hour before sunrise the next day Elrond and I were ushering the last of our families to bed, with the reminder and admonishment to sleep long and late. _Havens know we will be._ I thought to myself as Elrond's graceful movements once more caught my attention. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally at this point of the new day that was actually a continuation of the previous for me. It was nearly light out and I turned in time to see the sun just peeking over the horizon and stood lightly dazzled by the way the light framed him in a soft glow, highlighting his expression, which was turned in a quiet steady smile.

His hand brushed an errand strand of my hair back behind my ear, drawing me closer to him with the gesture and I leaned into the quiet intimacy of the moment. "Come, my dear it is time for rest no one will expect to see us at least for a day."

I also heard the softer promise in the words, as we began walking together toward the rooms he had occupied alone and would share with me. There was ample room, and no few personal amenities that could not be overlooked. "This is an exact copy of my key to this suite, there are precisely three of them and I keep mine on my person for an obvious reason," He said as I slid the key into the lock and turned it to find that the door opened before us.

I did not know what I expected when Elrond opened the door but it was not the surreal image that welcomed us into the room. Every surface was lit with candle light and the fireplace was ablaze with a rolling comfortable fire. On the mantle there was a card, folded up and carefully placed there as if to be found immediately.

I was looking around as I heard Elrond's quiet laugh of surprise as he reached for me to draw me to him his touch feather-light as he read aloud.

_Dearest Father, _

_We know we should not have penetrated the deepest sanctuary of your room, and normally we would never have pestered Glorfindel for the key we know he has. Tonight, only for tonight we and he made an exception to allow us to give you and Raina our gift. You had instructed us not to give either of you a gift, and we have and yet we have not. The only thing we did was arrange the room so that it would offer the glow that matched the one we saw today when you gave us something so long missing - you are more whole than we have ever dared to hope that we could see this side of the White Shores. No mere trinket can ever express our joy in this, and our deepest gratitude goes to Raina though we are equally sure she would say it was there all along. Please, enjoy our gift in the spirit we offered it and begin the next path of your journey together warm with the knowledge your family stands firmly behind you both. Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen._

"They are as enchanted with you as I am," Elrond spoke quietly and kissed the top of my head lightly as he set the card back on the mantle looking around with a small smile, bending to lift a pale yellow flower that grew year-round in the city and tucked it behind my ear before taking my hand and guided me through the room, and its slightly unreal aura to the sleeping area and both of us were shocked by the vision inside.

Inside the same treatment had been given, though the candles inside were scented softly of vanilla, and of a hint of jasmine that I saw as we closed up on the bed came from a softly heated ceramic jar. "And I am very fond of each of them, though Arwen I do not know as well as I should like."

"Nor she you," Elrond reminded me gently the tone quiet as he nudged me forward into the room fully where the quiet smells, subtle as a breeze but present were relaxing and at the same time gently stimulating, at least my senses without overloading my extremely tired mind. I heard the softest of all chuckles as I yawned despite my best intention to stay at least aware of myself until the end of one of the most emotional days of my life. "Come, into the bed with you before you fall on your nose dead asleep." Elrond said lifting me up to set me on top of the blankets reaching to pull off one of my slipper-like shoes and held it in his palm, "I forget sometimes with the force of personality you possess, how delicate you are." I heard the murmur as I laid back against the blanket and pillow and was asleep before he had my second shoe off...

Elrond bent softly to press his lips to Raina's as she slipped in nearly the same instant to sleep as her head touched the pillow behind her head. He had known hours before that Raina was emotionally exhausted and now her body matched her emotions. Raina had given every ounce of her personal reserves for the exceptionally long day, physically, emotionally and mentally. Much as he desired her - that seemed to be a unshakable thirst that bordered on driving him to distraction - to ask that of her was, to his mind cruel. He was patient, as the small smile that crossed his features as she curled facing his side of the bed would have told her, and there was always the morning to discover just what had been sewn under that dress...

She turned toward him even in the deep sleep, and it was a treasure to lay awake and listen to her breath as it would brush against his chest and arm running his fingers through her hair as she would sigh out a quiet sound before settling. Change, how he generally loathed it - how it had uprooted his life so many times and it seemed to him in the silence of the sleeping city that the Weaver had chosen to gift him a prize for his infinite patience, for his consistent surrender of everything he valued with someone so unlikely, so terribly inappropriate. And yet, so perfectly a part of him that even he had not realized that it was missing until her life had been crashed into his.

Everything about her warned of the heartbreak he would feel, and would know in the future, from the soft skin, to the warrior's build that spoke of perilously close perfect health and the certainty as surely as he would know anything that he would one day have to view her grave. It was her gift, treasured as it was, to not force him to before their time could not continue. It certainly felt treasonous to be thinking so far ahead - Raina herself had stated she would live a long time, and he had the knowledge of her age which was an astonishing count for any mortal already, and yet in his expertise she was perhaps in her very early thirties. Instead of allowing his mind to drift on that path he relaxed and breathed in her unique scent and let his mind slide into the peaceful realm of dreams...

_ All around me was a bright summer sky, complete with the green grass that tickled my feet as I turned my back to the sun, in order to shade my eyes enough to be able to see properly. I was unsurprised to see Elrond standing behind me, and the expression on his face was gentle and the smile was oh so slight as if he knew something I didn't yet._

_ "This is a dream." I said quietly as he approached and I could feel his hands rest on my shoulders the brush of his fingers against my neck sending shivers down my spine._

_ "Is it?" His tone did not betray whether it was really a dream or if it was real again as one hand slid along my neck to cup my cheek and raise my eyes to meet his grey ones leaning to silence my next words with a tender kiss that deepened in intensity quickly._

_ I surfaced from the kiss a little dizzy as his hand slid from my neck to the back of my head to help keep my balance steady. "Dream or not, I rather like this dream." I murmured against his lips as he pulled me down with him gently so that my weight folded and collapsed against the firm weight of his body and I breathed in his scent softly while I could feel the brush of his hand against my side stroking nearly the underside of one breast and shivered lightly despite myself. "Please," I murmured quietly as I would shift my weight lightly into the grip of his hands._

_ "Please what?" I did not hear or sense taunting in the tone but genuine curiosity of what I would be asking for, "What is it my dear one that you ask for?" He inquired bending his head to trace a small series of circles on my shoulder with his lips. The mewl escaped my lips before I could stop myself from it, and the trembling sound echoed loudly in my own ears as his lips trailed up to the sensitive place just behind my ear, causing whatever thought or request I might have had to fly out of my reach. I didn't know when my fingers reached around to his neck as I felt the softer sound he uttered as they trailed along the back of his head before his shook, "Ah, now that I can do something about, though first there is the soft matter of this." His voice was a low whisper as the sun seemed, to me to grow that much brighter as I felt the long yards of green-tinted cloth falling away in the strange way that a dream alone could create._

_ I had no idea anymore if it really were a dream, or if it were real again and as long as the sensation of hands and lips were sending the shivers up and down my spine, I realized that I didn't care. Somewhere in amongst them I had managed to pull away or at least reach under him, the sun-warm skin sent a separate thrill of sensation up my spine at his own low sounding words as he shuddered, "Temptress." The word sounded almost as a taunt, or an oath and I didn't care which._

_ The word only incited a need to return the rich sensations I was finding overtaking my senses and perhaps just once send his spiraling before he succeeded in what I was aware was one of his personal pleasures - sending mine on a whirlwind before allowing himself to fall into the same delicious torment. I was rewarded by the grapple of his hand for mine to trap them between our moving bodies and looked up at the gentle nip of teeth along my chin to only find them claimed roughly, and with need that swallowed whole the cry of surprise as his body joined with mine as the surrounding grass and light exploded in colors so bright that my eyes closed to protect them from the blinding light..._

My eyes opened as I heard the muffled moan and awareness came in the form of a rush of warmth and the realization that my limbs were entwined with Elrond's as I stirred awake. The next breath was accompanied by the rocking of his frame into mine, which explained the sound that had drawn me out of sleep. I faintly remembered my dream, at least I thought it had been a dream and the slow burn of desire that I felt might have been born out of that though if reality was as sweet there was no way I was going to doze off again.

Reality became sweeter than the dream's intensity as I was slowly becoming aware of the fact the blankets were brushing against bare skin, and the warmth between them was almost certainly from the heat between Elrond and I as he rocked closer to me again the touch of fingers along my skin drew small sounds from my chest.

The softer touch grew into a more arousing one that fluctuated between intense and wishful and strong and gentler, tender that left me increasingly frustrated and needful though it was maddening to be so aroused and be helpless against the steady grip of his frame around mine with affection and gentle movements. I realized then one of his hands slid down between our bodies that impossibly he had been holding back in his responses and his desire and that was not the case any longer.

If I had known an electric touch before, and the needful state he had driven me to previously were surpassed in a blinding streak of pure lust, and I soon lost track of where his fingers were, and where mine were, only that there was always some new texture to find and relish in and that was when my mind could pick out more than the tingling, clamoring demand of my own body in response to his fingers walk across my skin. "Look at me," I heard the low, intense whisper in my ear as his lips caressed it and the words drew my face to his as the next plunge sent my vision blurring where the only thought I could even partially form was that of what I could feel his hands and body doing to, and with mine. Both the words I could hear myself murmuring and half pleading with, and his replying murmurs with lips pressed against my neck were utter without meaning. His frame rolled backward slightly despite my quiet protest and I realized why as i looked upward again in the same instant to watch through my own thick haze of lust, need his eyes darken in the same heartbeat I could feel a warmth spread as a burning quicksilver fire through my veins dragging me along the same path again on the heels of my own soaking relief. I felt, rather than heard his lower more relieved sound as one of his hands freed itself to wrap around my back, rising to cradle the back of my head as he would roll so that his body was my mattress. I lay for a longer couple of minutes trembling, not a little dizzy which caused me to have to close my eyes for what I thought would be just a minute or two. The last sensation I remembered was the feel of his fingers stroking over the back of my head as I trembled before I knew nothing at all for several hours.

"Good morning." I heard the quiet satisfaction - as if a large cat had raided the fish pond while the master was sleeping - in Elrond's tone as my vision cleared and I breathed in not only his scent, but the one left that was uniquely our own.

"Morning," I murmured back and decided that I had no interest in getting up, even as I heard my stomach growl in angry protest of missing at least breakfast. "Is it still morning?" I asked quietly as he laughed in my ear.

"Only because we were sleeping it away." Elrond's answer was firmly tongue-in-cheek, a habit I realized with a smirk that I had only made worse as his fingers drew small circles on my lower back.

"Was that sleeping?" I answered in kind looking up at him with a placid, calm look that didn't betray that he would have only kindled the needs I had been able to keep mostly dormant until his bond with me had strengthened to a point, a tentative shift of my weight informed me that the dream was maybe not a dream exactly.

"In a manner of speaking," Elrond answered me with a press of his lips to my forehead affectionately, "Were your dreams peaceful?" There was an almost innocent tone to his voice that revealed that he was very much aware of what my dreams had been.

"That would depend upon your opinion of peaceful, as I woke up there was quite a ..." I pondered the proper term and decided on honesty as I looked up at him again, "Erotic is the closest word I know for it."

My only answer before being rolled gently off of his chest was the lingering kiss to my lips as he rose from the bed turning slightly the smile quiet, "Some dreams my lady are not dreams alone." He answered gently and slipped into the bath with a soft groan of relief as even I could hear him sink into the heated water pool.

I waited a few more minutes before joining him in the water, sighing as the heat of it surrounded my senses again. Elrond had added some sort of crisp mint - its smell reminded me of eucalyptus and it was invigorating and cleared the fog from my mind almost as well as coffee generally did. I squeaked despite having seen him move in the mirrored glass as his lips dropped a kiss to the top of my head, "Enjoy your bath, my dear I am going to see about a mid-day meal and I would wager you would wish for one of your many cups of coffee?"

"Good afternoon, Father, Raina." Elladan said placing his hand on Elrond's shoulder in passing before bending to give me a hug around the shoulders, "It is a surprise to see either of you today."

"We slept long," Elrond answered as Elladan took his familiar, more accustomed seat at the table. "And when we awoke from the late evening, we realized that we were both hungry."

I saw, and sensed, that Elladan caught the double meaning to the word, but he was going to be far too polite to say anything about it. Instead he helped himself to one of the rolls from the basket before passing it to the next person. "Given that it was nearly dawn, I think everyone slept in I have not yet seen anyone but Elrohir so far today." Elladan said as his twin sat down across from him.

"And you only saw me because our suites share the big living area and I fell asleep on the chair when I went in and sat down." Elrohir answered him smiling as he sat down across from Elladan.

"Dinner then will likely be another quiet affair, as our kinsmen are sleeping still very late but for the very youngest ones." Elrond commented mildly as he read a message from one of the food servers and patted her hand comfortingly as the note had apparently distressed her to deliver. "I am sure that my sons will not mind entertaining Amanda and the other children while their parents rest and recover from the evening before."

"Not at all, I think we can talk the Chef into a picnic basket and let them run in the back meadows until about an hour before the evening meal so they can get cleaned up and look more presentable." Elladan smiled faintly, "Since I know for a fact he was in high spirits this morning with the way his meal was so favored last night."

"I on the other hand, am going to go lay back down I think." I said setting the coffee mug aside, barely touching it as it had not tasted nearly as good as it normally had. "My head's still foggy and if I sleep I will feel much better I think."

"Why do you not use the sofa in my study, I will be working from there for several hours anyway today and having you inside resting will discourage anyone who does not have a pressing matter from interrupting my work." Elrond suggested with a slight smile, "And when you are awake, and just laying back we can continue some of our half-finished discussions."

I knew an invitation when I was looking at one by then and I smiled slightly, "I will do that then, I can doze nearly anywhere." I answered with a slight, gentle smile as I rose from my seat and headed to Elrond's study well aware I was not hiding just how direly exhausted I felt despite the jolt from the coffee and the delicious food.

"Is it me or did she seem off-color a little bit?" Elladan asked switching seats to sit closer to Elrond lowering his voice as his twin did much the same so that they were flanking their father.

"She is completely emotionally spent," Elrond revealed quietly, placing his silverware delicately on the side of his plate handles to the side as he folded the napkin from his lap calmly though his sons both recognized the habits for what they were, means by which Elrond could control his rare bouts of nerves. "Yesterday was emotional for everyone present, and for Raina doubly so."

"Raina gave you everything, utterly everything she was before and everything she is now." Elladan spoke quietly, "Any idiot with any sense of who she is knows it."

Elrond nodded gravely as his hand reached for the tea cup near the left-hand corner of his plate returning his son's gaze steadily, "I will see to it that gift is not squandered, though I do not expect she anticipated the emotional fallout for herself, and thus I will keep close to her side for a time until she is well again."


	75. Chapter 75

/Author's Note: I just want to take a moment again to thank everyone who reads along as this gets posted whether you favorite, review (which I love hearing feedback good and bad), questions and PM's. Some of you I hope are still in this from when I began this story but I am thankful for the consistent attention and in the new year hope to continue this adventure. As always, a special thanks go to kaashaa and my generous beta, glorybee and another friend metallica1862 who have all three kept me motivated when I was so discouraged and frustrated with the story. ~silentdovesong

Chapter Seventy-Five

_Elrond's POV_

I opened the door to the suite of rooms that now belonged to both of us and could not quite suppress the slight smile that creased my features at the sight that welcomed me. Raina was an avid reader during times in which there were no major crisis which required her focus. I could not quite resist studying her for a moment or two longer. The pose was almost childlike, curled up on the couch sound asleep with a book open on her chest and the dark red hair spilled out half covering it as she slept. Her hair had grown in the last few months, and dangled to tango with the pages of the book, the streaks of white tempting me to trace their path for just a moment before I pried the book carefully free and smoothed the soft strands away from her face.

In sleep, Raina exuded a vulnerability that in waking hours was well hidden behind carefully constructed masks and a sharp and often cutting tongue. She looked innocent, almost child-like. I wrestled with myself as her words only hours before echoed in my mind. Those were not the words of a girl-child coming into her own; those were the words of a woman whose life had brought her to her knees and left her broken. I had born witness to some of the horror of her past, and even now I wondered just how deep those scars truly carved into her mind. That was a journey that would take both of us to the end of her days, and for me much further into my own. Her imperfections, little flaws such as her sometimes quicksilver temper, or the charmingly unladylike manners - I had not asked her to become a lady I had asked her to become mine.

I had been able to see her past in her eyes, whether she knew it or not from very nearly the first minute we had met now a few seasons ago. Her eyes betrayed her in a way that her lips had not - they were the haunted eyes of the hunted. The one who had hunted her the majority of her life, a vile and cruel man I had slain by my own hand. I still could not quite reason out that rage, I still did not know if it had been the malicious, manic glee that he had expressed in his perceived victory over a child that was his own blood - his kin. I had not experienced that kind of fury before, nor had I ever before been one to erupt in such violence. And yet, I had.

I loved, and still at my core did love Celebrian...she was the jewel of my heart's crown. No one could replace the gifts I had been given from her. Our children were grown, respectable and wise, no greater tribute to their mother's grace could I have ever wished for. Arwen was at times, most like her and yet there were moments, such as times I watched my sons shift gears out of their hunting 'mode' into a civilized and compassionate one. They were as inclined to heal and comfort an injured companion, a friend as I was and with to my pride and pleasure, skill that was finely honed and my imparted lessons had not gone unlearned. Their unfaltering support in my choices had, for me at least been invaluable.

At the same time, there was no denying the connection, this bond that had forged itself with Raina between her fiery spirit and my own; the shared dreams, the way I could elicit the small kittenish sounds from her with even a soft touch including the public ones. Much as she was often conflicted as was I, which had led me to dig deep into customs in order to assuage her strict sense of honor, of behavior.

_ "...Yeah, as strongly as I feel about you I can't keep just sleeping with you." _I heard her voice in my mind as my eyes slid to the delicate band encircling her finger and the firelight glinted off its mate on my own hand and allowed myself a single moment of joy in the knowledge that I had facilitated a manner in which her sensitive conscience would be silenced and trouble her no longer.

_No, _I thought to myself allowing the echo of those words to cycle through my mind a second time. _You could not do that and continue to look into the mirrored glass and meet the eyes looking back at you._ I mused to myself, no longer able to resist the temptation to smooth the silken strands away from her face. Raina lived by a system of honor that confounded me at times, and though the bar set for her sisters was high; the one she set for herself was that much higher and that much harsher in regards to any sort of failure.

"Your gift was that much greater than mine," I murmured into her ear, "I hope to live my life with the honor required to be worthy of it."

_Raina's POV_

If I had anticipated that the process of finding little gifts now and again would be over since the formal recognition - it wasn't necessarily a 'wedding' strictly speaking but it recognized what we were to each other - I was immediately proven wrong when I woke up alone but for the smell of a fresh cup of coffee, the note which was held down by the small fire-hardened ceramic interpretation of a fairy complete with the gilded wings and the small feet just poised as if to take off in flight with her little pale pink dress and muted blond hair and smiling bright eyed face was a cheerful way to start my first morning in my new life. I set her aside gently in order to pick up the folded parchment.

_I was called away to a minor emergency just before dawn, I could not bring myself to wake you without knowing the cause of it. I hope the pixie amuses you as much as it amused me to find it languishing on the shop shelf and purchased it. I will ideally see you at breakfast, hopefully the coffee is still hot._

_ Elrond._

It was silly to be so amused, and touched by the gesture not only the note but the pixie as well. The trinket had probably cost him a few coins, not much more but the amusement and knowing it would entertain my quirky sense of taste. I rolled out of the bed and lifted the mug while venturing to the wardrobe where my clothing was already partly stored and selected a midnight blue set with the paler blue tunic and golden embroidery embellishments and changed into them.

If they'd expected some sort of miraculous transformation into a feminine 'lady' there were going to be a lot of disappointed folks out there. I wasn't a lady, I never claimed to be one and more importantly I didn't care if I was considered one. I cared what I saw in the mirror was a face and eyes that I would be able to meet in the glass. I did not look any different than I had the morning before and I rather liked that.

I certainly didn't feel any different than I had the morning before, except minus the small herd of butterflies that had taken up residence in my stomach the morning before. Their migration was not something I missed as I walked, sipping from the mug cradled in my hands on my way to catch breakfast before it would end.

"Good morning, we saved you a few pastries and I am sure that there is more coffee if that cup of yours is empty." Elladan said smiling as I stepped over the threshold into the indoor breakfast nook.

"The question is did you lick the ones you saved for me?" I inquired smiling at him as I crossed to the buffet table where alongside the teas stood frequently at meals a pot of freshly brewed coffee at nearly any time.

"And why would I do that?" There was feigned insult in Elladan's voice as I turned to glance at him over a shoulder I could see that his expression was as mellow as it had ever been, nor was there any insult to my tease.

"You lick everything else." I remarked, unable to stifle a laugh as he emphasized my point by licking some of the icing from the cinnamon roll that had been in his hand when I had come into the room.

"Good morning, everyone." I could just detect the laughter, subtle as a summer breeze in Elrond's voice as his shadow darkened the doorway as I glanced over at him and saw that while his open expression was neutral there was a spark of amusement brightening grey eyes.

"It'll be even better in a minute," I answered carrying my cup to my seat and settled into it with a quiet chuckle as Elladan passed me the basket and I could see plainly that my tease had been taken with the same intent I had delivered it - good humor.

"Absolutely," Elrond agreed easily smiling as he accepted the offered basket before sending it back down the other side of the table. "What are everyone's plans for the day?" He inquired as glances were exchanged among those still gathered at the table.

"Nikki and I were planning on looking at the houses in the city that Erestor suggested that we appraise. I also have to speak with Lord Glorfindel about my final decision about his offer for work." Tommy answered him first smiling a bit, "I think it is time my little family began to be on its own again."

"That's not to say we won't be around, if we're needed or wanted." Nikki added quickly, "Just we need space and so does everyone else."

"It sounds like a busy day," Elrond commented, "But I look forward to hearing the results of it."

"As do I" I remarked, tearing a second breakfast roll in half to place a bit of honey onto it, "And I am glad that you are beginning to forge your own lives here." I agreed with Elrond, while quietly and privately relieved that at least one member of my family was taking some initiative with their lives and not waiting on some formal decree or decision to be made for them.

I was as nervous and edgy as a cat outside when the skies threatened to erupt in a storm. In true form for me, I was burning out that energy in the only safe place, in the workout area though instead of a short tail already my hair was wound up into a tight bun secured with a long piece of black leather so that it would not get caught in my movements.

"Why are you so anxious?" I heard the question and ignored it in favor of kicking the workout bag soundly dodging the swing back on it and struck it roughly with wrapped hands before answering.

"If I actually have to answer that question," I replied glancing away from the moving bag for a split second after hitting it away from myself, "You are as blind as the old mad hermit in the woods near Mirkwood."

"Raina, stop." Elrond's voice held in it no command, but the request was clear as he stepped between the bag and my hand catching it in his expertly. "What are you so afraid of that you spend hours down here when you should be taking care of yourself?" He asked quietly as the space emptied of other people.

"There's a hundred rules of etiquette that I'm expected to keep straight - and there's different rules and roles for almost as many people and ..." I trailed off as the bubbling, barely-controlled anxiety erupted into a rush of words now cut off by the press of a single fingertip to my lips.

"The only expectation that needs to be concerned over is whether to mingle and play nice with others or be at my side. Selfishly," His voice lowered as he continued, "I would rather us spend the week before the fireplace in our suite but I will settle for the late evenings because you will be there and no one else will be."

"I will do what I can, though I can assure you somewhere along the way I'm going to make a mess of something." I sighed as he chuckled lightly and lifted my feet up off the ground in a softer hug.

"And there are few missteps that cannot be undone, or repaired." He said soothingly running his hand over my head, "The only one I am remotely concerned with is if Thranduil himself opts to accept the invitation or if he does what tends to be his response if there is something that should require his attention here in Rivendell, which is send his son alone or with a small escort. I almost hope for this, though even my Sight does not reveal to me which it will be."

Less than a week later, guests were beginning to arrive and I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was truly a mix of peoples. I was also relieved to realize that I was not left to the sharks as it were for very long or at all in many instances. Elladan and Elrohir had appointed themselves as emissaries and liaisons between the groups and assisted me particularly often when Elrond himself could not.

Few things gave me the jolt of pleasure of the realization of the different peoples that I was not at all what my name would imply. I looked the part of someone regal, most of the time but I had put my foot down with the she-elf that had been a little too helpful with my wardrobe.

"No. No. No." I was nearly shouting four or five mornings into the festivities. "First of all it is drizzly and cold, second of all I am going to be going riding after breakfast and I am not going to wear a fancy dinner gown to go riding and get muddy!" I was backing her into a corner when the door opened and Elrond admitted himself and surveyed the scene while removing his damp cloak to dry.

Sensing a reprieve from my temper she turned imploringly to him and pleased, "My lord please I cannot make the lady see reason - the gown is perfectly suitable for the day's activities she is being absolutely stubbornly ... well human."

"Might I remind you," Elrond's voice was neutral, calm and the gaze he leveled on her was one part compassion and annoyance in one glint, "That the lady is more than capable of deciding which is appropriate for her needs, and your suggestions are not mandatory."

"But - the appearances must -" she spluttered as I leveled a furious gaze on them both and yanked out a perfectly acceptable set of dark grey riding-robes and my black boots.

"I don't give a damn about appearances." I spat as Elrond's smile was slight as she whirled looking almost wildly at me, "I am wearing my riding clothes to breakfast and if someone doesn't like it they can take it up with me I'm a big girl I can take a few hits to my ego as long as there's coffee in it for me." I snapped at her before stalking to the bathing area and slammed the door childishly but it was certainly kinder than the fact I had wanted to pitch the self-important overly-appearance focused female over the balcony. Now that would have gotten people talking!

I took my time in changing into the riding gear and looked at myself in the mirror while brushing my hair so that I could pull it into one long plait down my back which partly emphasized the streaks of solid white in my hair which I noticed to some relief had not multiplied noticeably. In my estimation there was nothing inappropriate or unflattering about the look, it was feminine and comfortable with the tailored, fitted top paired with the riding slacks made out of doe leather and I topped it with my favorite riding cloak, which happened to be a shade of deep burgundy that I closed with a silver filigree brooch at my throat. _I might not look like the prissy lady that she sought from me, but I look perfectly acceptable for someone planning to go out riding._ I thought bitchily to myself as I opened the door to find that only Elrond remained in the room with the very faintest of smirks creasing his features.

"Must you always be difficult?" He asked fondly bending to kiss my forehead smirking against my skin as I laughed softly.

"Always, though if you like I am sure with a little effort my dear I could become downright impossible."

"Ah yes, I am quite certain that you could become just that." Elrond smiled lightly, "Also, Glorfindel asked me to inform you that the latest batch of horses from the sales have arrived, knowing that you are on the search for your own preferred mount he thought you would enjoy having a look after breakfast."

"I most definitely would," I agreed thoughtfully, "Though I am not even sure what I am looking for yet."

"Then that would be a most prudent discussion for Elladan and Elrohir I would expect as they are both competent and knowledgeable about horses and would certainly have superior advice." Elrond suggested as we began walking toward the larger breakfast area.

The noise from the breakfast area was immense and I blanched, feeling my stomach clench nervously as the sheer number of peoples of all kinds became apparent in fact when they were gathered in one place. "Steady," I heard the quiet voice from beside me knowing very well that I was heartbeats from bolting from the hallway. "Just follow my lead," Elrond said reminding me that he had promised that I would not be left to make a major mistake already. "And when in doubt," He smiled lowering his voice to a murmur just before the threshold, "Be sarcastic, it will float over most heads as subtle as you can be."

It was this part of the whole process I dreaded, I had grown comfortable in having the informal seating arrangements where I would sit to Elrond's left not at the far end of the table across from him. I was accustomed to having him nearby, as he walked with me to my seat he pulled it out and scooted me in I dared to look up as I drew up my strongest, healthiest shields to block others - anyone nearest to me at the very least from sensing my emotions.

Relief soared through me to realize that the only unfamiliar face was the fair-featured blue eyed elf I recognized as Thranduil's son. I had met him briefly two days prior and found him to be quiet, polite and on the very edge of running. On either side of me most directly sat Elladan and Elrohir, to my left and right specifically and then next to Elladan sat Arwen and across from her the fair prince of elves which was a curious placement though I soon recognized some faces.

Elladan leaned closely murmuring, "If there's something you need to know, one of us will help you, for now it is fairly casual, calm and the wine casks remain closed at least through this meal. This will be the normal arrangement, I was able to set it up with Erestor that at least one of the three of us will be with you when Father cannot."

"Your father reminded me this morning that because I have not yet found a mount I would like to have as mine, that I should ask of you two what to seek out specifically." I said looking between Elladan and Elrohir when the breakfast meal became far too silent on my end of the table.

"Perfect question for the morning since many of us were planning on going riding," Elrohir answered with a grateful smile that I had conjured a safe enough topic, "You'll want a beast no more than eighteen hands, too much taller and more than a good boost will be required to get you up on him." He said thoughtfully, looking at Elladan with an inquisitive expression.

"Seventeen, brother even eighteen might be a stretch agile as the lady is." Elladan shook his head in gentle disagreement. "Some spirit though, and not a walking horse." He laughed quietly, "No my dear friend you will require one capable to be a warhorse befitting one."

This drew the fairer elf's attention from his plate and nudged him out of his early morning half-asleep state, "If I might," He spoke in a soft, melodious tone that was rather pleasing - and reminded me faintly of music "Inquire as to why a lady would require a warhorse."

"For the same reason you do not give a nanny to a warrior." Elladan smiled accepting the plate of biscuits from his twin, "And to much the same result, a disgruntled beast and a sore rider."

"I grant you that, friend." I saw to my delight that the elf was as intelligent as those clear blue eyes indicated that he would be, "Though I do not see this demon-cat your letters spoke of in this woman."

"That is because the kitten has coffee," Elrohir laughed passing me the honey for my own sweet roll, "And there is currently no requirement for the claws to come out."

"It is convenient to appear as I am expected to be," I said lowering my voice with a very faint smile, "It disarms people to see what I can and cannot do." I remarked mildly, "And currently my lord does not require the services of the warrior that forever sleeps under the fussy clothes and pretty trappings of a lady." I looked between Elladan and Elrohir and politely excused myself after setting my silverware politely on the edge of my plate carefully tilting the handles to the side.

"She's not the most comfortable of creatures, nervous and twitchy." I heard the quiet observation from the newcomer, though he did not seem to me to be the most sociable or at least the most comfortable around me.

"Raina carries many scars along her heart, and her mind which have taught her painfully to be cautious about other people, particularly people she does not know." Elladan answered as I turned the corner and heard no more of their conversation.

I did however hear the grooms calling back and forth between themselves and the horses that they were busily sorting out. The sales had clearly going by the number of horses that were being led into the corral and enjoyed the show that they were without being an active one.

"So you did sneak out to down here before the rest of us." I heard Elladan's voice as a beauty of a paint stallion was led into the corral by one of the grooms. I knew it was a male by the confident, slightly arrogant stride and as he was spun around by the groom and I heard Elladan's next words as he and Elrohir climbed the fence to land expertly in the corral. "I think we have a winner," He strode several yards forward and called out some command to the groom who separated the paint from the rest and led him to the twins who immediately began a cursory inspection looking for something. He was certainly a beauty - a black paint with a striking blond mane that waved as his head tossed lightly protesting Elladan's persistent pull on the rope halter and stamped his foot at him as his twin finished the rest of the inspection before Elrohir reached to take my hand knowing that I wasn't about to enter the corral with an untested stallion held only by the rope attached to his halter.

"Let him have his head," I said lowly, standing slightly to the horse's side where he could see me completely and I held my hand out letting the large head lower to my hand even as they backed out of the way though I realized out of the corner of my eye that Elladan stood in reach of the rope attached to the halter in case he lunged at me. "You are a handsome creature," I murmured to him circling lightly much as the twins had, continuing in elvish as I circled keenly aware of every movement of the horse's body and I ran my hand over flank, up the back of his hocks, anywhere that I could think to touch testing him much as I knew I was being measured. ["Tell me, are you a lady's horse meant for duty rides listening to small talk or are you a creature of great speed, power and cleverness?"] I heard the soft nicker that sounded suspiciously like laughter as I murmured to him as I reached suddenly for the rope dangling near his head. To his credit he stood firm and steady as I looked over at Elladan and Elrohir, "This fellow is no lady's horse, I think I'd like him for myself."

"There are many others," Elladan warned as this was true, I saw for myself that the grooms had brought to bear a great many other horses though none had caught my eye the way he had. Like is drawn to like, as the saying went even in the sanctuary of Imladris.

"Aye, there are a great many other beautiful creatures though I think this fellow is not going to obey anyone else." Elrohir peered at me as the horse stood straight at my shoulder his ears twitching as he certainly listened to our words. "Oh, the others finally catch us, though I dare say you have found the most striking of the stallions for yourself, Raina."

"No," I said looking up at the horse snorted at Elrohir and stamped a foot, "I believe I was picked by him."

"And he suits you." I heard the warmth in Elrond's voice as he approached the approval in his gaze, "No dancing pony for a natural fighter such as yourself." Elrond approached though he was wise enough to bring a small token bribe for the horse and offered his hand with the trio of cubes of sugar placed there. "Up close you are a sight," He murmured rubbing the place between the horse's ears, lowering his voice as the others moved off, "You have an important job, picking Raina." He began as the horse nickered at him again, "I know you can do it." Elrond turned toward me and the smile was very soft, "And what shall a king of horses have for a name?" He said as I recognized the stature of the horse and why he and I had been so drawn, clearly under the paint coloring was the subtle power and direct body structure of a horse I knew well; Glorfindel's Asfaloth.

I rocked back on my heels and considered the countenance of the horse and smiled slowly as the name formed in my mind, "Stormstriker." I murmured and the horse turned as if I had spoken true, the dark eye that met my face blinked once.

As we were discussing the subject of the horse's name, one of the grooms approached with the lad, now his apprentice I realized by the garb, "If we may be pardoned, mi'lady the stall is ready for this fine fellow. Would you like to accompany us to see for yourself his state in the stable?" The groom spoke fluidly and I nodded, realizing that this was the groom that was the mentor to Hadron who stood a bit nervously to the side. "My apprentice tells me he has a special interest in learning, particularly for the prized post eventually of the Lady's groom." I was for a moment confused as Elrond let them lead the horse ahead and spoke quietly.

"Tradition here, as Rivendell is known for its peace that the tradepeoples tend to like to establish a solid working relationship with individuals. Your reputation, and personality have made working with you a highly respected task." Elrond explained, "Though it is tempting for me to request these two, as Erynion is an excellent horseman and will teach Hadron everything he needs to know." He gestured subtly to where the almost-grown lad I had helped out of a jam once as his voice lowered further, "And I know a lad who is desperate to repay your generosity."

The boy was absorbing nearly every word and direction given by Erynion and the orders were followed precisely in such a way that there was no mistaking the hunger for perfection that was quite impressive. It was the mark of someone who had something to prove, not to anyone but themselves. This sight left me very curious, and very certain amid a sea of uncertainty that I had made the proper choice in helping a child who was doing the wrong thing for exactly the right reasons.


	76. Chapter 76

Chapter Seventy-Six

After the long ride, which had taken up the better part of the morning, well past the midday lunch I found myself on the outside observing the political and social dancing that was the mingling of the elves among themselves, the gathered other guests of Elrond in the more public celebration of his choice in a partner.

I had determined in watching the reactions, discovered that there were mixed feelings about me and that was all right - I had mixed feelings about most of those people as well. I understood their reticence, as I did not fit the mold of what one natively would associate with Lord Elrond. I was no delicate, shrinking violet who hid behind him and I made no pretense to be. I had refused to become one, and those who could not support that decision were simply going to have to learn to respect my choices.

The delicate dancing of personalities, and of people even from the same race would be almost as fascinating to watch as the horse sales and bargaining for had been for me. Some of the elves were present only because of appearances, Thranduil and his son were travelling in opposing circles, and the tension there was nearly palpable - leaving me to privately wonder what feud divided them. Others were openly sociable with each other, such as the pleasant conversation I could hear behind where I was sitting astride my horse between the twins, and a handful of others about which weapon was the single one they could not stand to travel without. The ribbing was good-natured and I was smirking as I listened to it simply because it was very obvious that the discussion was punctuated with laughter and that lightened my nervous mood.

I glanced as Elladan and Elrohir pulled up on either side of me on the open path and the question was asked, "And what about your expertise, Raina what's the one weapon you wouldn't leave home without?"

"My staff." I said gesturing to where the long, sturdy shaft sat secured to the saddle beside my thigh in easy reach. "It is not as elegant as the elven-bows I have heard singing nor as striking to watch but, it too is effective."

"But a staff can be broken." I heard the argument and knew it well actually as I had the same fight with my own mother once. "And that renders one useless." Haldir's voice rang out and I grinned faintly.

"Hardly, the ends of a broken staff are quite jagged, a puncture with one is hardly the clean strike of a blade, in the instance I have two and both can be thrown, used to toss an enemy off balance and if thrown well can take an eye out which will no matter the race enrage and momentarily debilitate as well."

"Hardly the topic to discuss with a lady." I heard the leashed annoyance in Thranduil's voice and restrained the urge to stick my tongue out at his back and countered again.

"I would rather discuss the merits of a weapon milord as a lady without one can still die upon one." I purposefully used a mild, pleasant tone despite the fact I would have preferred to throw him into the nearby river. "Unfortunately as well, my input about whether to wear midnight blue versus grey would be far shorter," I said tongue-in-cheek as I caught Elrond's subtle headshake that spoke of his controlled amusement and that he swallowed a chuckle. "Since I tend to prefer clothes that are clean." I added in the same teasing, mild tone that undid both of the twins first.

"Now, now you should not be so mean." Elladan tried for chiding though a glance told me that his grey eyes were sparkling, "We could always see about pink for you I'm sure the seamstress has something for you."

I quirked a brow at him and the smile was very vicious, "Are you angling to land on your backside in the next sparring match?" I inquired innocently, "Because that I can arrange."

"You permit this?" I heard the surprise in Thranduil's voice as he aimed his question at Elrond whose answer was as mild as the air around us as the horses kept their steady easy pace.

"I can no more control her actions than you can." Elrond's tone was reasonable, "And I do not see from a healer's perspective the harm in participating in an activity which brings pleasure."

"Are there any other weapons you find as appealing?" Legolas' voice inquired with a native curiosity that caused me to glance once over a shoulder shooting him a relieved look as his query had cut through the standoff between Elrond and Thranduil, the latter unable it seemed to let go of some silent feud.

"I tend to prefer the martial, hand-to hand types as my home was not very friendly to the distance ranges." I answered thoughtfully, "I have been given a few rather choice blades along the way." I added with a small smile thinking of the blade that sat silently in my riding boot.

"In fact," I heard Glorfindel's mild interjection, "The Arms Master refuses to let Raina work with almost anyone but Elrond, if he has the time or myself if he isn't available." The amusement became apparent and a silent challenge to Thranduil, "For he says that it is cruel to send even some of my best against a diminutive demon with a sweet face."

"You flatter," I said with a benign look over my shoulder at Glorfindel, "I have been handed my hide a time or two as well."

"Ah yes but not without giving merry chase for it." Glorfindel answered cheerfully. "Perhaps you will feel up to a match later, I am quite certain that the Arms Master will not mind acting as our referee."

I was terribly fond of Glorfindel and the majority of the Rivendell inhabitants knew it as I smiled slightly and nodded once, "Around the middle of the afternoon I believe I have a lull in between my direly necessary after-lunch nap and dinner."

"I thought you had a needle point lesson." Glorfindel remarked innocently as my grin widened.

"The only thing with more cheer is a graveyard." I answered dryly, "If I'm going to hurt myself I'd much rather be doing something useful."

Elrond's chuckle was evidence of the fact he remembered the compromise - I would make an effort to learn the yawn-inducing needlepoint embroidery and he would continue working with me on some of the more traditional elven styles of staff -spear work. "As I recall I had to put the healing salve on both of your hands after the first few lessons."

I glared lightly at his back but I had to nod, "And you might as well mix it up again because the greater probability is highly in favor of me stabbing my fingers."

"I will remember to start a fresh batch for you when we return to the city." Elrond's patience was infinite, and his gentle good humor was welcome as it seemed to soften even Thranduil's grouching temperament.

An hour after lunch I was in a very rare irritable mood as I shifted the practice cloth in my hands, holding it by the closed, taut ring that stretched the fabric to ease the difficulty of the embroidery that was supposed to be the easiest of the styles. It was maddening partly because the needle pricks were sharp and partly because I was not accustomed to the fact that I was not as adept at picking up a skill as I normally was.

At the end of the class, to my relief the instructor gathered the practice cloths again and looking at mine the sympathetic look told me that she knew after the half-dozen or more that I was a hopeless cause. "You are rather hopeless, why do you keep coming?" I heard the chagrined voice and glanced up from gathering my belongings.

"Because if I do not at least make an effort at something ladylike I will never hear the end of it. The fact that I am hopelessly terrible at this does not change the fact I have to try at least for awhile."

Her smile was gentle, "It is fortunate that any embroidery you wish completed there are many skilled artisans who will create any pattern you can create on parchment."

"More fortunate is that I can pay them handsomely for it." I countered with an easy smile, "Now if you will pardon me I am going to get these treated so that I can go do what I actually want to do later this afternoon."

"I am quite sure Lord Elrond is expecting you." The laughter was in her voice as I picked up my bag and headed to his study trying to ignore the fact I had stabbed my fingers with the hard embroidery needle multiple times each one.

I knew he was and that some of the pricks of the needle were deeper than they looked as I knocked on the opened study door I heard the mild summons to enter and did to find that Elrond was sitting on one side of the chess board from Celeborn. The game had been ongoing for some time and at my expression Elrond's eyes softened from the concentration and he murmured softly to his companion. "Pardon me this will only take a moment or two."

"Of course." Celeborn's voice was mild as Elrond rose silently and lifted me to sit on the edge of his desk with a quirked brow.

"It is more convenient and I can avoid that foot of hers when the stinging starts." Elrond said conversationally as he lightly painted the tips of my fingers and even the palm of my hands with the salve, "Do I want to know how you managed to stab yourself in the palm?" He asked as the look I gave him could have withered the athelas plant.

"No." I retorted frostily, "But it hurts when it happens."

"I put a bit of a numbing agent into this batch so I would suggest you wait to thrash my Seneschal on the field for a little while." Elrond's voice held in it a soft amusement, "Perhaps indulge in a consolation cup of coffee or tea with one of the éclairs." He continued drawing my attention to the platter of pastries sitting on the sideboard near a tray that held the fixings for coffee or tea meant I knew for the two who were playing chess.

The look I gave him could have scalded anyone else as he dropped me back on my feet and in a few minutes I was curled up on the end of the long guest couch watching as the two elves finished out their usual chess game. It was a game of the wise, patience and strength were a necessary component but so was measuring one's opponent and being able to predict their moves and possible next ones and moving one's own pieces to counter them.

I slipped out once the slightly numb feeling left my fingers unaware that the two of them were nearly finished with their game, and headed to the indoor practice area where I knew not only were the usual suspects' practice gear but my own were placed and kept in good condition.

I was in the process of changing into my practice clothing, a well-worn and fitted set of dark blue leather and low-heeled boots when the faint tremor of excitement coursed its way through me. I had never come to understand the Elves' reaction to the fact that I was not afraid of a simple sparring match. I was currently glaring into the looking-glass realizing how long my hair had become while brushing it into a loose, messy knot on the top of my head. I favored the look when I was going to be sparring because it limited a less honorable combatant's ability to grab a tail and take my feet out. I had learned that lesson as a girl from Camtamin and I was not about to let that particularly painful lesson go to waste.

By the time I set foot in the space I saw that there was quite a crowd gathered on the outer ring and this only further amused me as I raised my gaze to meet Glorfindel's. I was particularly fond of the golden-haired Elf, he had become the mentor-parent I would have thrived under as a child, and in a great many ways he was still filling that void. "Ah, there you are I was beginning to think the embroidery fairy had spirited you away until you had learned the art of doing such delicate work." Glorfindel's tease settled my nerves as I rested lightly on the heels of my shoes.

"Very little could keep me from this." I remarked mildly folding my hands behind my back, a gesture my sisters would recognize easily as my inoffensive and 'at rest' pose but it was no less potentially deadly than any other I might have used. "Did milord pick between hand-to-hand or have a weapons preference for this?" I inquired innocently my smile the same slightly predatory one that had sent many a former comrade to running away.

"I thought we might demonstrate just how useful that staff of yours actually is." Glorfindel remarked lifting my practice one made out of a hardy, strong but bendable oaken sapling that had been specially selected for its supple forgiveness in order to toss it to me.

I certainly wasn't going to protest the selection of my favorite, and preferred weapon. I had practically grown up with one in my hand, on my back or in use. I nodded once and shifted my weight to balance it leaving the staff at my side defensively as Glorfindel selected one of his own preferred weapons, a long sword selected I knew to prove a point.

Glorfindel waited a moment knowing that there was always a surge of adrenaline that required a few seconds in order to settle down again and without warning or even preamble he spun at me and I raised the staff defensively to block his hit and raised it with a soft sound as I spun the staff to pop his blade off of it and at his next downward strike - that he wasn't pulling the strength of I saw easily enough as did everyone present and I ceased to do the same.

I had several advantages, not least being much smaller and lighter on my feet than the tall Elf and my weapon had two ends. I danced out of his reach and as I moved the staff became an extension of my will and my arms and I used it as such. I snapped the end of it up to pop against his wrist which would release his grip on the blade and both of us leapt away from the toppling blade causing the Arms Master who had a standard 3-point rule and I was already one up on him.

I knew that would double Glorfindel's resilience and his determination, which I was rewarded for my foresight and understanding of my opponent as he would manage several blows, with the flat of the blade and I narrowed my eyes as the strike along my ribs was partly absorbed by the padding of the gear and without preamble as he was in a lunged position brought my staff to bear first on his blade-arm then whirled it in my hands to sweep his feet sending both the blade and him crashing to the floor roughly.

He lay for a moment as I nudged the blade out of his reach and bent to offer my hand one part in friendship and one part in ending the match on fair terms. Accepting it he grinned faintly, "Not useful in a fight they say hm? I dare say it coupled with that dagger in your boot," He paused and reached with long fingers to find the short, shining dagger in my right boot and withdrew it with a wicked grin, "The lady would be quite a challenge for anyone seeking to spill her blood."

"Anything, milord can be a weapon of destruction or healing." I remarked turning toward the stand in which the staves were kept and pulled one of the cleaning towels from it and wiped down the oaken shaft of the debris and my own grime before placing it back in the case before turning to see that Glorfindel was doing much the same with the blade.

"Quite true, and as always a pleasure to have you as an opponent and friend." Glorfindel agreed extending his hand and I clasped it with a small quiet sound of content satisfaction.

"Anytime," I answered with an easy smile of my own as the short bout had lessened a great deal of my anxiety and it had a second less intended result. I felt relaxed, loose-limbed and comfortable though not so much so that I could miss the way that the gaze being cast at me was both surprise and fascination by those who were not familiar with my history.

"My friend are you certain you did not pull back a strike against the little one?" I gave a quick easy grin as I heard the words and cocked my head at Glorfindel whose laugh was as smooth as a rich wine in my ears.

"Only enough to not risk to break her limbs with a blow I assure you, nothing would be more upsetting than having one irate healer particularly as that healer happens to be very dear to me as well." Glorfindel answered easily. "Go on, kitten I'll join you for that cup once I disperse the crowd." He said offering me a graceful exit from the crowded building.

I escaped the warm room and proceeded to change out of my workout clothing, carefully checking to see if they needed to be cleaned and since they were reasonably clean, I folded them with care and placed them back in my cabinet before closing it and securing the door.

I then retreated to the veranda that I favored with a cup of tea rather than coffee as my nerves were too readily jangled and with the number of guests in the city I was wary to take chances in making a mistake from the distraction coupled with the many new faces and people and their sometimes convoluted titles to keep straight in my head. I had not been there long when a familiar cadence of feet descended on my space as I had closed my eyes.

"Ah so this is where you retreated to," I heard Elrond's quiet voice and lifted my head to focus on him the half-empty mug resting near me on the table.

"I like this little place, it is quiet and I can still hear and see much of what is going on without having to be seen, or heard if I do not wish to be." I answered as he looked from the cup to me and sat down in the chair nearby.

"You always come here, when something is on your mind." Elrond spoke softly taking my hand into his and rubbed the chill from it. "What is it that troubles you?"

"I am uneasy," I admitted reluctantly, "I do not know if it is the unfamiliar people and the comfort zone invasion or if it is the same old internal battles I have always had."

"I would surmise the answer to that riddle is somewhere between the two, Raina. You have an aversion to crowds partly spawned by Camtamin's torment of your youth, and partly because your gifts have been half out of your control for the better part of your lifetime."

"And there's the touch aversion that you had to contend with," I agreed as his fingers twirled a lock of my hair between them swirling the streak of white into the darker red of the rest of my hair.

"Yes." The answer was simple and I could see the small smile turning up the corners of his lips, "An aversion that went so far as to be a violent lash-back at anyone who dared to try to reach out. I would consider your progress remarkable." He added gently, "You are healing well in that regard, you have not harmed anyone in quite some time." I looked away from him and lifted the lukewarm mug to sip from the contents and watched his eyes as he knew very well it was not my usual coffee it was a mild tea. He lifted the mug from my hands and I saw his gaze turn to greater concern than before. "Why are you drinking mint tea, you do not even like mint tea." He inquired quietly as I gave him a steady look.

"I have had an upset, nervous stomach since the guests began arriving and it has only gotten worse. The tea at least allows me to eat and keep it down." I answered quietly, "I am reasonably sure it is nothing but anxiety causing it."

"Why did you say nothing of this before?" He asked and I could feel the very slight sting in the fair and patient voice, "Steps could have been taken to prevent it from coming to this point."

"You have enough to contend with, Elrond you do not need to be babysitting me every minute of the day." I answered him well aware that under the calm mask was the annoyance he felt.

"Your well-being is always going to be a top priority for me." Elrond's annoyance wove into his quiet words in case there were anyone near enough to hear, "Physically particularly because your health is as intertwined as the weave of the world itself." He sighed and I could feel the elf pull in his temper, "Raina, you must slowly come to trust that not everyone - me least of all - have agendas against which you must prepare."

"So says the one whose life has been about twisting agendas and how to make the best of what has been tossed at you." I countered gently and turned back toward him again with a very slight smile, "And I do not like to worry others, when it is not likely to be anything more than my nerves making my stomach jumpy."

"My life is my burden, much as any other life is the burden of the one whose feet are upon the path of it." Elrond countered gently pressing his lips to my temple, "My pleasures are few enough that I would much appreciate that one of the closest to me would trust me to approach when they were in need of anything."

He had a point, I was being rather stubborn about handling my fears, and my health on my own and it was a very old habit that needed to be tamed if not conquered. "I did not feel that a simple, easily managed upset stomach warranted troubling you when we have such a complicated group of guests in the city for the celebrations."

"I have many extra hands which can maneuver through our guests," Elrond answered easily as he placed one hand on my upper thigh squeezing it gently, "My attention is only required at some moments, meals or gatherings and not all of those either. I am not willing to sacrifice my personal time for the whims of others."

I sighed deeply again as I leaned my head back on the headrest, "I am concerned that is more than a bit of a stomach trouble." I admitted quietly and looked over to him with a very faint smile, "I am not ready for more than a mild stomach discomfort yet."

"When.. if..." Elrond amended with a small smile that brightened his darker eyes in the growling twilight, "We will walk the path together and not before it is time. For now, rest and I will see to it that a suitable meal is sent to you here so that you are spared a bit of the anxiety of the dinner for a night."


	77. Chapter 77

Chapter Seventy-Seven

"Whoa, there kitten." The Arms Master broke form and caught my arm as I stumbled lightly on my feet feeling abruptly dizzy during our regular match the morning of the last day of the two-week festivities. "That is not like you." He said quietly as I allowed him to guide me to one of the benches.

I was sweating, and felt intensely overheated and dizzy, to the point of being nauseated as I sat down heavily onto the benches reaching to take the water flask from his hand, "I woke up fine but now," I shivered involuntarily as my stomach churned, "I think I better take a pass on our usual bout and go find one of the healers."

"You are not going to go anywhere," He said gently pressing my shoulder so that I would stay seated and signaled his second to approach. "Please locate Lord Elrond and inform him that I am requesting his assistance with my sparring partner, his consort." He directed his words toward the younger Elf and within a minute he was gone as my world went upside down and dimmed. "Easy there, kitten." I heard his voice as if I were underwater and did not resist as he steered me to lay back on the bench lengthwise.

I did not hear anyone else come in or anyone else leaving the space. I could at some disjointed moment hear someone calling my name and the cool cloth that was placed on my forehead felt comfortable. My eyes fluttered open to focus on Elrond's concerned face and groaned looking up at the ceiling rather than meet his gaze.

"Welcome back." Elrond's voice murmured soothingly and I realized with a jolt that he was sitting on the ground next to the bench I was laying upon, "When you are steady enough, we will retreat out of the Arms Master's domain and have a discussion about what I suspect is going on." He said calmly using words I recognized as healer-speak for 'We have a situation.'

Twenty minutes later Elrond had secured the door to our suite, which was in itself telling that something was troubling him. I could feel the trepidation pour against him as he had to slip between the affectionate, loving individual that I knew intimately well behind the closed doors to our suite; and the calm and compassionate healer. "Will you indulge me in laying down on the couch before I say anything potentially upsetting to you?" He smiled tentatively and I sensed that there was already an answer in his mind to the reason for my spell that morning.

I was at least rewarded for my cooperation with having his thigh for a pillow as Elrond's face was upside-down as I smiled faintly, "I am hard pressed to resist indulging you under most circumstances."

Elrond's low chuckle was a quiet rumble in the otherwise silent room as he stretched his legs slowly even as his fingers unraveled the tangle that my hair had been in as he sighed gently, "I have narrowed down these ...spells down to two probabilities." He continued as I could feel him twirling a lock of hair between two fingers. "One you have been afflicted with an illness from one of the guests of the south - the mortal ones that is -and it will run its course in a couple of more days." He hesitated, and this was something of a red flag for me as Elrond of all people so rarely hesitated with me, "The second solution is that you are in the midst of the very early stages of carrying a growing child."

Disbelief flowed through me as his hand pressed gently to my shoulder and prevented me from sitting up too suddenly, "But - " I began as the light pressure nudged my shoulder back down.

"What is there to understand?" Elrond countered gently smiling, "You either have a stomach ailment from exposure to unfamiliar spores or you are carrying a child - my child." I could hear the half-disbelief in his voice as he shook it off leaving it I knew for another moment alone.

"In the meantime I direct your attention away from the guests," I pointed out tiredly, "I am tempted to rest awhile and then venture out to see if I can distract people by staying near Arwen or your sons, They are talented at deflecting conversations away from me."

Elrond nodded, "I will also pass the message to the kitchen you are in need of a milder lunch and dinner due to what I believe to be a stomach ailment making the spicier food favored by our guests unpalatable. In the meantime, please try to stay to the tamer of your hobbies."

I grinned despite the fact my mind reeled at the possibility - one that I had never actually taken seriously - and let him up as I turned to watch him rise to lift one of the decanters of a sweeter cider to fill a glass for himself, "Are you saying milord you would rather I stayed off the harsh trail with the big mean stallion and went on the hay ride with the gentle pony?" I was teasing him and I saw him smile in answer.

"You can take the hard path if you like, just on the nag of course." He laughed smiling slightly as he replaced the glass on the tray for later. "Truly just be careful until I can determine the root source and provide a medicine which will counter the symptoms."

"I will be careful, and try to behave myself as much as I am able. Which, in this case includes avoiding where Thranduil is. I fear I will end up causing him to wear his next glass of wine." I remarked changing out of the workout gear that I had been wearing to trade it for a deep cyan-hued hooded gown and smirked at Elrond's raised eyebrow as I pulled on a pair of low-heeled boots rather than the matching-dyed slippers. "As if I am going to walk in those death traps your daughter calls 'shoes'." I replied with a laugh reaching for my hairbrush to smooth out the snarls from my topknot from the attempted workout.

I saw the laugh in his eyes even as he managed to be somewhat stern, lifting the hairbrush from my fingers to do so himself. "Now, we only have a few hours left until Thranduil returns to his home. Let us hope that we can both control our tempers where he is concerned for that long."

"I will be as nice to him as he is to me. The next time he demands I pour him a glass of wine," I warned Elrond as we walked to the door, "I am going to pour him one all right but he most definitely will not appreciate the quality of the wine."

"Be nice and play nice." I heard Elrond's soft words in the nearly silent undertone again. "And please stay calm."

"Easy for you to say," I remarked mildly as we walked together to the open-air meeting area where the rest of the invited dignitaries were already gathered. I recognized most of them, which was nearly as much a relief as the seat I was offered folding my hands along my lap as the gathered spoke in turn about different matters.

It appeared to be mostly a trade meeting, some textiles were easily grown to the south, or in the case of the thicker, fine wools herds thrived better in the north. Rivendell was an ideal meeting place for both, as it was fairly centrally located, and in possession of one of the more congenial and generous leaders among the lands. Interestingly, the banter and the debates grew heated and as tempers flared I found myself standing to interrupt, gently as I could the hard-lined argument brewing by the representative of the North, a man whose name I could not for the life of me remember, the Gondorian man and the horseman out of the lands of Rohan. "My lords, please each of you take a moment to refresh yourselves - we have several excellent wines which I am sure will soothe a few ruffled feathers." I smiled faintly at the Gondorian, "And if you will allow me a few moments to think I might be able to conjure a solution."

"And why would we let you do that?" The Gondorian asked even as he rose aiming to refill his glass himself, though he towered over me my smile grew to one that Elrond himself recognized as the one I utilized when contending with my sisters' once-frequent quarrels.

"Because your lord would be displeased if you returned to him with the news that there will be no trade for Gondor out of the borders of Rivendell for a period of time to be determined by my lord." I replied smoothly as I looked up into his face with an expression of guileless innocence masking a steel blade. "News which I am most certain will displease him and send you to the southern border nearest to Mordor for the remainder of your tenure."

"You do not possess that sort of influence," He bluffed pouring a bit more wine than was strictly necessary as the other two began doing the same.

"Are you willing to take that chance that I do not?" I countered with a slight cant of my head toward him. "Or are you willing to sit down, and play with the big kids and negotiate?" I replied lifting my water goblet to my lips again as I took my own seat to watch them circle around the table, settling in my chair again to observe them.

"What are you doing?" I heard the soft murmur of Elvish to my left from Erestor who was aiming his comments toward Elrond whose small smile was telling.

"Herding cats." Elrond replied mildly as the remaining members of the sort of trade alliance a kind took their seats, "And allowing myself to enjoy watching the herd mistress' expert hand on the reins to guide them where they need to be. More importantly, I want this to be primarily her victory in terms of diplomacy."

That evening dinner was to be a full banquet-style meal under the stars, with the comfortable tables set out in one of the largest of the gardens so that everyone could enjoy the soothing ambiance of the city at large. It also allowed those among our guests, and myself, to feel more at ease in a setting in which there were approximately thirty people at the table that were set end to end in a line.

Those in charge of the seating and the settings were flawless - the tablecloths were a rich scarlet color meant to set off the bone color of the plates, and the goblets were designed for the comfort and the race of each guest. I saw as I sat down that there was a comfortably sized goblet nestled where my glass should be and near it sat an empty mug as my preference for a warm beverage afterwards was a well-known documented fact. Down the path, for the dwarven emissaries there were thick, heavy goblets versus the delicate crystal that the Elves and I were given and so on.

I also noticed that my menu was carefully planned out - and it was not the fare that everyone else was being given. Mine was a milder dish, and smaller portioned which was served personally by the chef himself, who puffed up indignantly at the comment from someone down the table from me in answer.

"My assistants tell me the lady's nerves trouble her stomach, I make food she can eat. No one leaves my tables hungry, milord not while I cook!" He waved the wooden spoon in the speaker's direction as Elrond hid a smirk behind a well-timed slip of his wineglass.

"Then I hope you have much more where this rabbit food came from!" The dwarven representative replied to much laughter around the table which was mostly because of the indignant expression on his face.

"But of course, I have much more... now... were I feeding the wee ones I would not be so lucky." The Chef stomped off deeply affronted.

"Wee ones?" I leaned to speak softly in Erestor's ear for clarification.

"Halflings," Erestor replied with a chuckle, "They like to eat six times a day my dear if they have their way and most of the time in their quiet lands not many days journey from here they have the time."

"And the inclination." Glorfindel chimed in from across from me at the table. "They tend to be peaceful, round little beings of good nature and spirit but secretive and shy."

"Sounds like my adopted ones." I replied mildly thinking with a small smirk of the trio of orphans I had tucked safely into the bosom of my sisters' families with the smallest of fuss.

"To a degree, but the Halflings are small - actually dear you are not too much taller than they." Erestor said as he caught my hand with a laugh, "Come now you are not getting any taller."

I quirked a brow at him and stirred the soup bowl before me with a very small smile, "I'll remember that the next time you step into the sparring ring with me, Erestor." It was both a promise and a threat at once.

"Play nice, both of you." I heard the admonishment wrapped in laughter from Elrond. As well I did not miss the pointed look at Erestor from Elrond that warned of pushing the envelope much further.

Dinner was a lively event that lasted several hours, to the point by the end of it I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. "Go on in to rest," I heard Elrond's soft murmur as I yawned leaning against his side after the second hour of boisterous singing of the dwarves and men alike. "No one will think badly of you."

Reluctantly I wandered up the stairs that would lead me to the direction I wished to take, and along very quiet corridors had time to wonder what it would be like if there would be the sounds of a young child - my child to run along the corridors beside or in front of me. It was not a thought that brought about the dread and fear I once felt in relation to bearing my own children. I had already resigned myself to the idea that I would be forever 'Auntie', beloved and adored by the children of my sisters but not ever given the most terrifying and humbling name possible. Mother.

I opened the door to the suite and breathed in, recognizing the different smells that were dominant in the room, his and mine... and the one that perfumed the sleeping area that was ours alone. I sat down on the footboard and began taking off my boots enjoying the secret, silent rebellion from the accepted norms and put them away before stripping down to pull over my head a loose, comfortable sleeping gown that came to just about mid-thigh. It certainly was not appropriate for public viewing but I was in the privacy of my rooms and the rooms were warm because of the burning fireplace. I curled into the blankets and ended the first, dominantly successful diplomatic and social gathering I had to face as Elrond's Consort. One of, which I was certain was going to be many.

Elrond smiled benignly at his children whose faces were three mirrors of concern though only two were identical. "Is something the matter?" He inquired innocently as Elladan took advantage of the empty meeting-room and pulled them all inside it before shutting the door.

"If it were I am confident you would have shared it with us." Elrohir returned with a less-benign look than rested upon his sire's face.

"Nothing is the matter." Elrond assured them with a gentle look, "That is, unless you know something that I do not."

"Father, the diplomatic dance you have been doing around the guests is not going to be sufficient with the three of us. What is going on with Raina?" Elladan cut in and sliced efficiently to the heart of the matter. Like his siblings, Elrond knew well that his son was fond of Raina and recognized that he was sensitive to the subtlest of shifts in behaviors.

Elrond drew in a deep breath and met his children's eyes carefully keeping his words to the elven tongue primarily for the relative privacy that offered, "Currently I have it narrowed down to only two probabilities. Either she has caught an ailment of the stomach from the guests from the south, whom she has had up to now no contact with;"He hesitated briefly before finishing his answer, opting for absolute honesty with the three of them. "Or she carries my child within her womb."

Whatever they had been expecting it was quite obviously not those words form their father's lips as surprise registered on their faces. Elladan recovered first, and turned toward Elrond with a slightly shocked expression, "You are not teasing us with this."

"I would not shock you with something of this magnitude," Elrond replied taking a seat and gestured for them to do the same, "It is not a guarantee, I assure you but there is a very distinct probability that raises the question of it."

"What is the likelihood in your fairly expert opinion?" Elladan pressed gently taking his father's hand in his own to try to warm the cooler limb in the nearly dawn hour.

"Quite." Elrond admitted in a soft voice, "In the interest of her privacy - of which there is precious little now - I have not definitively confirmed which of the two eventualities it is."

"Your instinct speaks of a child." Arwen spoke up for the first time, her grey eyes steady on his as he would raise his eyes to her with a quiet nod.

"Yes." He spoke simply and directly as she settled near his side resting her head on his shoulder, a habit that lingered still from her very earliest years and gave him an opportunity to run his fingers through her dark hair. "It is not something I know precisely how I feel about."

"Whatever the result, if such an event comes to pass, my father you will continue to have our support wholly, as will Raina." Elladan spoke as the three of them seemed to have a silent debate between them briefly and proven with the fact that each of them placed a hand over Elrond's.

"Whatever your path is, we will walk with you both." Elrohir amended as Arwen rested her head against Elrond's in a gesture of comfort and fondness that only a child could show to a beloved parent.


	78. Chapter 78

Chapter Seventy-Eight

A few mornings later I ventured to the healing halls, partly to seek Elrond, which would be in keeping with the promise I had made previously. This came after a particularly uncomfortable bout of nausea culminated in me throwing up what few bites I had managed to convince myself to eat, before my stomach churned violently in protest. My coloring must have apparently given away my nausea as the first apprentice in sturdy cotton robes in dark green, mint trimmed cotton robes. "My lady please, sit down." She urged, abandoning her task to take me by both hands, "Before you fall down please, sit I will fetch Lord Elrond for you." She paused for several seconds to assure herself that I was not going to follow her before moving swiftly down the hallway to the workroom where Elrond often spent an hour or two each day cataloging what herbs and supplies he had on hand and what needed replacement and so on.

I heard the sharp intake of breath even as his fingers wound comfortingly through my hair causing me to cautiously look up at the concerned face, canted slightly to the side as if assessing again. "I believe it is time to sort out whether this is a sort of stomach ailment from the South you cannot shake or if this has another root source." Elrond spoke quietly to me as he guided me to stand first then to a private examination and treatment room. He secured the door behind him as I sat down on the bed. "Humor me and change into that," He said mildly gesturing to the neatly folded gown at the end of the bed, and I recognized it as the garb often worn by those who would be recovering from one illness or another, or being examined such as the case might be.

Five minutes later I sat with the throw blanket over my thighs as I waited for him to gather his thoughts, and complete the fussing arrangement of his necessary implements, this seemed to be as much for his own benefit as mine. For the next few minutes neither of us spoke but to answer or ask questions such as 'Does it hurt if I press here?' and it circled into routine questions that included the rough timeframe of my last moon cycle and so on.

"Rest for awhile," I looked up as Elrond was finishing his examination, "Sleep if you wish and there's a bin there if you require one." He bent to kiss my forehead affectionately a gesture though innocent in nature sent a shiver up my spine. "I will return to look in on you after a few minutes." He smiled pausing as one hand rested on the handle to the door, "I need to retrieve a reference book I have in my study, and I do not want to disturb you so I will make my notes at my work desk here in the Halls." He clarified with a gentle expression, "You look worn out again, no one will think twice of you resting here."

"What is it, Brother?" Elladan asked as his twin lay half-sprawled across the couch peering up at his twin with a slight, thoughtful frown.

"I think I have the answer to Father's riddle about Raina, however I am not certain how I feel about it." Elrohir answered his twin as their sister stirred out of her doze with a yawn.

"It is not a stomach ailment brought up from the south." Arwen spoke with a note of finality that her brothers had no desire to argue the matter with her. It was made harder by the way her grey eyes focused on them, reminiscent of the way their father's did; knowing and certain of herself.

"What makes you say this, Arwen?" Elrohir turned slightly so that he could see her as her long limbs settled demurely in the chaise she had been napping in.

"Shall I include or exclude the pheromone change in the air around her?" Arwen countered with the lazy satisfaction of a kitten chewing on the caught butterfly. "Or the fact that she cannot stomach the chava - coffee she was drinking a lot of." Her smile turned mild as a summer breeze as she spoke up, "Or the nausea that plagues her sometimes until nearly midday but will abate in the evenings?"

The look exchanged between the twins told that her words had struck a chord with them as well. "She has been paler than usual lately, nor has her appetite been... bordering on obscene."

Arwen nodded quietly and eyed her brothers, "I think three will become four... possibly five." She admitted quietly as Elrohir's eyebrow rose, "There are twin births in her family as well."

"All right, let us assume Arwen is correct are we actually as all right with this concept as we told Father last night?" Elladan asked straddling the chair he had pulled into the seating area to watch the other two.

"Well it is not like it is any of our business what they do." Elrohir pointed out with a grimace reaching for his cider glass nearby to take a sip of the contents.

"Well, no it is not really our concern or business." Elladan conceded with a reproving look at his twin, "However, how we feel matters greatly to both of them and of further importance what we respond to this with, if it is the case is going to set the model for the rest of the city."

"Elladan has a point," Arwen nodded quietly; "Whatever we respond with is what is going to come to them. Father is not going to care, though his skin is a great deal thicker than Raina's is in terms of ignoring an undesired response."

"If it brings both of them happiness, I vote we do exactly what I said last night to Father that we would support them in their endeavors. Besides, it will give him hope in the eventuality that we are all going to have to face hopefully not for many years." Elladan spoke slowly and carefully choosing the most delicate manner in which he could bring up the bitter reality of Raina's mortality.

This sobering reminder was painful for each of the three of them as almost together their decisions was made, unanimously and without a single word spoken aloud but the exchanged looks were telling enough. If a child brought the pair joy, then they would do all to ensure that no one and nothing could have the capability to take away from that pleasure. Rising together they set about changing into fresh clothing and met in the more public area, by understood agreement, they selected the comfortable veranda that they knew Raina favored because that was her haunt when she wanted to see and smell, but not be seen.

I stirred about an hour or two later just as Elrond was entering the room with a mug of tea in one hand and sat up gingerly as he sat along the side of the bed with a quiet expression holding the mug out for me to take. "Raina," I heard the calm tone and looked up from the tea mug to meet his eyes carefully. He reached for one of my hands and set it against a place on my abdomen, where I could just feel a knot the size of a pumpkin seed or slightly smaller and at my quizzical look he spoke again softly, "I almost missed the small knot that is ... or more accurately will grow into our child."

Disbelief flowed through me hot and cold as if I had downed a full goblet of the whiskey he would drink when completely stressed and stared at him blankly for several minutes, blinking a few times, "Did I mishear you or did you say 'child'." I repeated slowly lapsing into the common tongue because my mind rebelled at even using the common tongue let alone Elvish as it raced in my native tongue.

"You did not." Elrond answered with a softer smile, rolling a bit with my reeling emotions that twisted his own into a tangle, as his news had caught me off-guard to say the least.

_Baby._ My mind reeled as that realization and the magnitude of the responsibility was overwhelming and for me, terrifying. Not that the child would be the first infant I had experience with, but the first that would be wholly and completely mine. I swallowed harshly and for a few seconds was thankful that I was in the bed rather than sitting in a chair or standing as I would have been shocked right out of both positions. "It does add up," I admitted aloud letting the reality settle around me as the quiet rock of his presence was one that I could hold on to, reassured by the light squeeze on my fingers again, "I suppose we had that discussion a bit late." I said wryly and his soft laugh sent a relieved shiver up my spine.

"I believe we did miss the opportunity to have the discussion beforehand, as it was meant to be." He agreed cautiously, as I realized belatedly as unemotional as my response had been overall considering my tendency to overreact to surprising events he was troubled, "You are alarmingly devoid of any real response, are you displeased by this news or..." He trailed off as I pulled my hand free of his kicking lightly at his leg with my foot highly offended.

"No!" My voice raised without my intending for it to as the hand I had pulled free possessively covered my belly allowing myself to fling the insult and the light sting I felt at him in my temper. In fairness my mind had not ventured much past "baby" yet and the reality that in some way a part of my home would continue on even when I inevitably passed through the circles of the world. _This child is part of you... of us... Another phoenix out of the ashes of my past. _My mind still partly reeled from the shock of the reality of a child that was mine.

If I had expected Elrond of all people to withdraw with my lashing out at him, I should have known better. Instead of the retreat away from me, Elrond leaned forward to press his lips to my cheek, a gesture that sent a shiver from my cheek down through my toes, "I believe we just had that discussion we were late for." He chuckled softly and pulled me free of the warm blanket to settle my weight against his side. "I had come to much the same conclusion before returning to you. I trust the rest has helped with your stomach ailments and dizzy spells?"

"For today," I answered as my head rested naturally against his chest closing my eyes for a brief moment, thankful for the fact that he had understood my immediate response to his suggestion but more importantly, he had agreed with me.

"I am going to ask that you refrain from the more active hobbies you have." Elrond sounded amused, "Not that I truly think that you are going to be willing to forgo all of the work you do in the Arms Master's domain, but I am going to insist that you be more conscientious about not placing yourself in harm's way. Even an accidental blow to your middle could be very dangerous for our baby." He reminded me gently, using I realized the possessive reference rather than the passive, acceptant one.

As much as I was loathing admitting it, I was quite sure he was right on that point of fact. And there was the matter of the elven adoration of children, particularly because they were exceptionally rare. "I will limit my activities in that regard to training - and you must trust me to know my limits." I added smiling knowing that Elrond especially tended to be overprotective in the best of circumstances.

I saw by the stubborn set to his jaw that Elrond wanted very badly to press the issue, but like any seasoned diplomat did when to stay his hand, "As long as there are no complications I do not see the danger in you continuing your hobbies." He answered at length, deciding apparently to concede defeat for the time being. "When do you want to reveal this to family?" Elrond smoothly changed the subject smiling as I needed a moment.

"Aside from the ones I suspect are guessing at the fact? I imagine that the best way to handle this is like any bit of good news, though if you force me into making some big fancy announcement I will not be amused. It is our business, not the whole city's. Like any good secret it will be known by all in no time." I decided with a smile, "I think that we should start with your children."

It should not have been nearly the surprise that it was to see that the three of them had staked out seats around the veranda that I was so known for haunting when I wanted to be able to have my privacy while still being relatively accessible; if the person knew where to look that is. More interesting, judging by the faintly guilty expressions all three wore was that I recognized that Elrond and I had very likely been the topic of their most recent discussion.

"We know." Elladan's voice splintered the heavy silence with a mild tone that I knew to be the one he used when steering others through a potentially emotional storm. The shock on both of our faces caused him to clarify, "We have spent the last few hours off and on having a discussion between the three of us." Elladan clarified with a faint smile, "And I must say our father raised three intelligent beings that are capable to deduce a reasonable conclusion to what is actually going on beneath the diplomatic dance you, my father were manipulating in order to best camouflage what you and Raina were attempting to address between you while herding cats."

"Forgive me, however I believe I have entered a conversation far later than I was intending to." Elrond said with a delicacy that spoke that he both acknowledged and appreciated Elladan's attempt at being merciful.

"Raina's not unwell." Elrohir chimed in quietly looking from his father to me with a faint smile, "Arwen's actually the one who put it together."

Arwen turned in her seat with a slight smile, "I did not put it together until last evening. Taken independently, which no two symptoms showed together until recently one could very easily find it to be a reaction to something that came up north with the Gondorians or the Rohirrim but they have been on their return trip already and such only lasts a few days to begin with. Raina's anxiety could be easily a source but the dizzy spells and the abrupt aversion to the coffee all add up to only one solution." Arwen continued locking gazes with her father asking a silent question, but it was the most vital of all questions to date.

"My child grows within her womb." Elrond confirmed in answer to her wordless question, and both of us were surprised by their response. I had expected anger and no small amount of hurt - they had had their father to themselves for a great many years and first to accept me and now only a few years later a sibling was, to me at least, astonishing.

I had anticipated anger and upset about the fact that I had in that short of a time become so centrally involved in Elrond's life, and subsequently their lives. Instead, there was a blanket of emotion that was both affectionate and supportive as Elladan spoke up again, this time reaching to take one of my hands in his, "If the baby is a wish fulfilled for either of you ... or both of you then, you have my support and in times of need my assistance in any task required."

I squeezed his fingers gently before settling back in the chair again, "I greatly appreciate your opinions aligning with what I need right now. I am still reeling from the shock of it, let alone begun to process the many realities that come with a baby."

"And that is where we come in," Arwen spoke up quietly, "And I am certain your sisters will have assistance should you seek it as well."

My sisters, I had not even come to the reality of telling them about the baby. Not telling them was not an option, it was too big of news and too important to all of us as a family that I could not keep it to myself. "One step at a time," Elrond murmured as the whirlwind in my mind only heightened with the realization that I had to tell my sisters. "First we get through this step, and then we can begin tackling the rest of the reveals one at a time, if appropriate more than one. I am also confident that sending a trusted envoy to deliver such news would be considered suitable."


	79. Chapter 79

Chapter Seventy-Nine

Instead of summoning Nikki to me, and away from the comfortable little house I knew that she and Tommy had moved themselves and their children to, I ventured at an easy walk to their place within the city. I knocked on the door and to my surprise was bombarded with both of the children, I was unable to suppress my laugh as Cayden's arms did their best to buckle my knees while Mandy clung around my shoulders for a moment. "Good morning to you two as well." I said laughing harder as I was all but dragged inside.

"Mandy who-" Nikki's voice cut off as she appeared around the corner to the foyer where I had managed to get the children to stop by placing my hands on their heads. "Come on you two let Aunt Raina go, and get on to your lessons you know how Mariel hates when you run behind." She said scolding though I could see that she was smiling as the pair ran out the door, banging it closed. "I'm sorry it's an almost everyday occurrence around here. How are you- what on earth brings you down here?" She asked, steering me into the kitchen where there was a table already set up for eating and I smiled wistfully remembering just how many other conversations Nikki and I had around another table.

"I wanted your company." I answered aiming for calm when I should have known better than that.

"Bull." Nikki said smiling at me, "If you wanted my company any number of people could have sent me the message to meet you somewhere. Now spill it, you look ready to laugh or cry or both."

"Better hold on to your seat there sister because you're going to need it." I said as she set the teapot full of hot water onto the table on the hot pad designed to keep the heat from damaging the table. "I'm pregnant." I revealed quietly, meeting her eyes so that there would be no mistaking the truth to my words.

Nikki plopped into the nearest chair her face showing her shock, "You're pregnant! How far a long when did you find out?" She blurted out the questions in typical Nikki fashion before jumping up to hug me gently. "And just how far along?" she burbled in typical, somewhat hyper Nikki fashion.

"Just about a week ago I think, because I couldn't keep the four bites of breakfast I had braved down and instead of going to just lay down - initially we thought it might be one of those bugs from the Gondorians or something but they'd been gone long enough anything causing it should have been booted out of my system. To answer your last question, a couple weeks, at least that's my guess." I answered her smiling sheepishly, "I'd have come and found you sooner but it felt like I couldn't get ten minutes to myself."

Nikki smiled, "I'm happy for you and for Elrond. What about his children though? Have you two told the twins and Arwen yet and if so what'd they say?" Nikki quizzed sensing a feeling of peace around her sister.

"They, well Arwen apparently was way ahead of all of us." I answered realizing just how peaceful I felt about the matter. "I think they had already discussed it and decided that if it was what we wanted they were okay with it. I only hope that the same is true when the baby gets here."

Nikki grinned, "I'm sure it will be. They don't seem like the kind to change their minds midway though a decision. Besides it gives them someone to spoil that is if I don't get to him or her first." Nikki laughed wagging her eyebrows at me so that I would not be able to contain my laughter.

Her genuine humor was infectious as I laughed reaching for the mug set on the table nearby to make myself a mug of tea, "Now if I could just get the upset stomach to lay off before I run us completely out of mint." I said shaking my head, "And I don't think they're changing their minds, I'm glad too. It's like the whole of the rest of the city residents based their reaction to all of this madness - the relationship, the ceremony, the baby now and God, Nikki without them I think I'd go crazy. Well crazier than I would be without Elrond."

Nikki nodded, "I think I know of a way that will help settle your stomach without the mint Hun. It's something that I used during both my pregnancies." She left and went to a cabinet getting down a container. She opened it up and pulled out a piece of parchment handing it to me. "Get the cooks to make this broth, it will help. It's got two herbs in it that are easily found within the city and one that I know that Elrond has been storing from Lorien. The last time that the girls were here I got them to bring some to me."

I looked at it and smiled faintly realizing what it resembled and nodded, "I am sure I can get just about anything I want. That's the damnedest thing I've ever seen too, Nikki. Elves who wouldn't give me the time of day two weeks ago are going out of their way to be nice to me. It's very strange."

"I'm not surprised Hon. A lot of Elves are that way in Imladris. Speaking of which, and please don't tell Elrond for the moment, but I've been having trouble with a few of the Elves around here."

"Trouble with them how?" I asked carefully keeping my tone neutral having figured out that if I grew agitated my stomach would churn and the tea that had soothed it would come right back up again and that was the last thing I wanted.

"Nothing bad really mostly just rude words thrown at Tommy and I when we go for our walks in the evenings or at the kids if they're playing outside with other kids." Nikki answered concern radiating out of her. "It wouldn't bother me except for the kids' sake."

"Mostly?" I repeated as I could almost taste the lie in her voice, "Do you want to back up and try that again without the lie?" I asked knowing very well that I, at the very least was going to end up involved with the situation.

"No, I can't dump that on you now. You do not need that kind of stress. It isn't something I can't handle on my own." Nikki said squirming uncomfortably under my stare.

"Fine," I answered knowing very well that I was not going to deal with it directly instead, I was going to utilize that privilege of delegation and find out silently what was actually going on. "I will let it go on a personal level but I am going to task someone with investigating another venture out this way on my behalf" I decided, knowing that Nikki really couldn't argue with me, "Besides currently I am in over my head figuring out what beside the obvious I need for the baby, or havens help all of us if it is more than one."

Nikki sighed, "I can help with the baby department. I just hope there's only one because it's going to be hell with two." She answered teasingly though I could see in her gaze that the very thought was absolutely a possibility, frightening as it was.

"I'm scared to death it will be two,' I admitted with a small smile, "But I am quite sure if Elrond had sensed something like that he would not have neglected to tell me." I hated having the sneaking suspicion that Elrond was waiting for one shock to fade into another before leveling another surprise at me.

Nikki nodded, "Do we know how long before we can maybe determine if there's one or two?" Nikki's incomplete medical training was kicking in I realized making mental note for myself that she might benefit from learning from the healers what they were willing to share with her.

"I have no idea," I answered quietly as the realization of just how out of my depth I was and in some ways how alone I felt at times since they had decided to move to the city proper versus the main house to make their own way. I was doing my best to disguise that feeling as Nikki's eyes sharpened knowingly at me as I managed a small smile. "I guess there's a lot I don't know."

Nikki smiled, "You know I love you sis and I'm not that far away. Tommy and I figured you didn't need us cramping your style. You're never alone with this. Tommy's going to flip when he finds out."

I nodded thoughtfully, "I almost wish I could be there when the messenger hands Kris and Autumn their notes from me in Lorien and Willow too even for that matter." I smirked faintly, "This has to seem out of left field coming from me, the baby I mean. I didn't even know I wanted a baby till I was faced with the reality of one."

Nikki laughed, "I felt the same way with Mandy except Tommy wasn't there. It brings family to you in a more personal way. I'm happy for you sis this is something that will bring you and Elrond even closer."

"If he gets any more overprotective I'm going to scream." I answered with a laugh, "I swear he'd have me carried everywhere I want to go when I am quite sure I have two feet. Whether I'm sure of that in a couple of months remains to be seen."

Nikki nodded, "It's a typical male thing and I don't care if he's elven or not. They think you're fragile and will break. I call it the Y chromosome disease personally." Nikki stated as the front door came open to reveal a tired but happy Tommy."

"What's this about a Y-chromosome disease?" Tommy asked as he overheard Nikki's comment before his eyes focused on Raina, genuinely surprised to see her.

Nikki came over and hugged Tommy, "I was talking to sis about the Y-chromosome disease you males get when a female is pregnant." she answered watching Tommy's face go into a shocked mode before looking over at Raina.

"Wait a minute! Do you mean that Raina's preg-pregnant?" he went over and collapsed into an empty chair his face still looking at Raina shocked.

I allowed myself a moment of enjoying his stunned response and smiled mildly, "To answer your question, yes. If it makes you feel any better my face looked like yours about a week ago give or take a day."

Tommy shook his head, "Congratulations then are in order. I just can't believe you're going to be a mother finally."

"If I didn't have all the signs - and the certified confirmation from Elrond himself I'd have said this was some sort of twisted joke from my body." I answered with a smile, "Down to the fact that coffee is no longer my friend. Throwing that up a time or two teaches you really quickly that one doesn't want it."

Tommy laughed, "It's about time you got off that stuff anyway. You drink more than I do and I like my coffee Raina." He smiled slowly getting up to hug her before going to his wife and putting his arms around her from behind.

"I like my coffee," I answered mildly, "Okay, I like it someone else disagrees with me and since currently I don't get to call the shots I have to concede defeat for now. I'd also like to do without the constant need for a nap." I blinked as the yawn crept out of my lungs and I shook my head, "I think I've slept more in about the last three weeks than I have in the last year - and stay out of the gutter, Oliver I know how you think." I added pointing my finger at him.

Tommy laughed, "Hey your bedroom habits are your own business Raina. I know what side my bread is buttered..." He grunted softly as Nikki elbowed him not entirely gently.

I had missed their company and laughed at the easy way the two of them interacted. I had forgotten that the Olivers had been a couple since they had been in school together; and had withstood several different trials and circumstances. "Well I would certainly hope you do, I trust your new challenge in employment is satisfactory?" I inquired knowing very well just how much Tommy enjoyed a challenge.

"You know very well that it is extremely gratifying to be able to get up and have a job to go to. It means we are not riding the generosity of Lord Elrond and you." Tommy answered with a smile, "I am learning a lot, I might not be the swordsman some of the Rangers here are, but I am not going to leave my family without some way to provide for itself."

"You can do anything you put your mind to doing." I answered getting to my feet again as I realized that I had to get back to the main house. "But please do not hesitate to tell me if there is something I can do for you both." I said as Nikki embraced me closely.

"It is so good to see you happy," Nikki said bending to say so in my ear, "If you need me all you have to do is reach out for me."

"I will need you eventually, when the craziness of the elves gets to me and I need a bigger mouth to shut them all up." I grinned at her feigned innocent look, "And can the innocence, Nikki I know better." I said over my shoulder as I let myself out and headed up to the main part of the city.

I made a detour to where I was reasonably certain that the twins would be at that mid-afternoon hour. I was pleased to discover that my guess at their task would be was so accurate. Two dark heads were lowered over the book of herbs that they were being tasked with recording the known properties of to keep the library updated. I cleared my throat and at their smiling faces took an empty seat in order to see their faces clearly.

"Well look who slipped the protection of the guards." Elladan teased with a chuckle, "What do we owe this interruption of our weekly task to?"

"My sister let slip something I do not think she planned to, Elladan about different elves - none of which she would go into details over mind you - giving her and the kids a bit of a hard time. I was hoping you two could quietly look into what is actually going on for Nikki and the kids since Tommy's only home a couple hours in the morning and then mostly in the evenings."

"Sure what do you need exactly, do you want us to put it to rest or just discover what we can and report back to you?" Elladan asked setting the writing quill to the side and focused on me.

"If you do not need to involve your father or I; then I think it would best that you do not." I decided after a moment, "I mainly want to ensure that my sister and her family are not bothered by anyone."

"If we do not need to pull you or father in we will not." Elrohir assured me with a small smile, "Elladan can begin to look into this sooner than I can; I promised Willow that I would show her that riding path that goes up over the falls since she has begun improving her riding skills."

It was then that I realized that Elrohir would continue to look after Willow, at least until such a time as she truly did not need someone with the force of personality to do so that was not a mate. I held out a fragile hope that somewhere in the world there was someone for my often-combative sibling and that would not only tame her tongue but would love her in spite of it. "I hope you have a safe trip up that way, I happen to know that path ices over pretty heavily when it has been raining." I answered getting to my feet, "I trust if there is something I need to know, you will let me know?"

"Absolutely, though please do not be upset if you do not hear from us directly." Elladan said coming around the table to assist me out of the room, "If it is nothing that you can do anything about or we feel it will only add to stress for you or the little one neither of us are going to be willing to share what we learn."

I knew that there was little hope of actually arguing the twins out of that position once they had taken the hard-line approach with something. I could have argued all day long until sunrise the next day and not gotten my way. "I understand that sentiment, both of you I really do. I also appreciate that you are even with the task, thinking of my well-being first."

"Why would we not?" Elladan spoke first as rested his hand on my shoulder, "What negatively influences your well-being negatively influences my father's mood and temperament and the last thing that I would want is him in a foul mood."

I squeaked as I felt the loose, light embrace of Elrohir who ruffled my hair affectionately, "Hey!"

"If you are unwell, Raina then Father is under stress and therefore he snaps at us and Arwen far more than we would like. As such, we are not going to add to your stress in any fashion; that said we are going to see what troubles the little lynx and make a plan in order to eliminate it." Elrohir said smiling slightly as his twin set aside the last of their supplies. "I need to get going in order to be ready to go riding. Be well you two, I shall see you in the morning." He said departing out the doorway leaving Elladan and I alone in the room.

"You leave the finding out to us," Elladan said smiling as he shook his head, beginning to smoothly clean up the moderate level of chaos that his twin had left behind for him to pick up. "You focus on the baby, we will take care of the rest of the duties that you think you have to tend to, on your behalf. You should go sit in the sun and figure out what supplies you want rather than allow someone - even a well-meaning someone to choose for you." Elladan suggested warmly steering me out the same door his twin had left through shortly before.

The sun blinded me for several seconds before my vision cleared enough to see that I was not the only one that had been politely maneuvered out of managing other affairs. Elrond was reading - letters if I were guessing because there was a long roll of parchment in his hands as well there was a goblet of some liquid sitting in easy reach of his hand as the parchment moved with his rapid reading. I approached in several easy steps and laughed as his hand moved to brush along my cheek as if expecting my approach.

"You need practice my kitten." Elrond's relaxed tone held in it laughter as he pulled gently on my head and neck so that I bent to be eye level with him. "But it was a noble attempt at pouncing." He was teasing still and it was nice to see him in such a calm, relaxed mood. "How do you feel?" Elrond inquired, knowing very well that I was frequently ill throughout the day.

"Better," I answered moving to sit down on the cool stone near his side in order to rest my head on the side of his chair enjoying the feel of his fingers running along my hairline as I sighed softly, "I went to see Nikki earlier today, I have not been down there for awhile and I wanted to check on her plus share with her the baby news." I shivered involuntarily as his fingers trailed down the side of my throat gently as the reality of the baby became increasingly pressing on my thoughts.

"You are worried," Elrond said setting the parchment aside and turned so that there was room for me to sit beside him on the chaise lounge, "What is it my dear that curbs that bright spark in your nature?"

"Just a small panic about the unavoidable realities," I answered as Elrond pulled me down so that his arm acted as my pillow and his other arm draped possessively over my side, "I mean I know I practically raised Autumn up until the time they were split to the four winds but that was different. Dulcea still had to take responsibility for all of them - well okay us but I was already grown before Willow and Kristina were born." I was rambling and I felt his shoulders shake with a soft kiss to the back of my head.

"Lay back." Elrond said softly, his tone was suggestive but his body language was very much gently demanding, "And listen." He said turning my head so that I was facing him. "You are more than capable to face this new challenge," He paused placing his hand actually over my middle gently, "And I am confident that you will be more than up to the task of protecting our child. You have been doing so for years with your nieces and nephews why would you think that you would not be capable to do the same for one of your own?"

I sighed deeply, knowing that he had a point and swallowed harshly before being able to speak. "It is one thing to defend a child that did not come from one's self. I have experience with that, but I have none when it comes to this. I mean I never even expected to be able to have a child," I felt my voice tremble and the soothing touch of his fingers along my belly quieted some of my anxiety and fear.

"Often the most deserving of the One's children receive their rewards when they least expect them, and more importantly when said child of the One believes themselves unworthy." Elrond answered me gently, and with no small amount of philosophy behind him.

"Deserving or not on my part does not change the fact this child will be arriving in the it own time whether or not either of us are ready for that reality too."

"Breathe." Elrond said as my anxiety level began rising again, "First we take care of you, and accumulate the items the baby will need most immediately - a cradle, cloths for swaddling, blankets, padded cloths for diapers," Elrond clarified smiling at my look. "Those are things to focus on first, and I am quite sure your sisters have valuable input which should not be discounted. For now my dear I think you would best benefit with taking the time to rest and sleep if you want to and stop stressing. You are not walking this new path alone, we all are walking it together."


	80. Chapter 80

Chapter Eighty

"Has it begun?" The harsh masculine tone emerged from the dark hood as the figure sat upon the heavy stone throne looking between the men and lone woman standing before him. "If it has not, then all of you had better possess between you valid reasons for coming before me now when the plan has only just begun to move forward."

"The seeds have been planted, but Master we fear that they will not be permitted to take root. The female you have sent us to hunt is well protected, and appears despite her condition to be quite resilient."

"She is as mortal as any woman you have hunted before. Cut her and she will bleed out, and with her the Half-Elven will as well. Once, without her already he nearly crumbled to his grief watching her die will be his undoing."

"What would Master have us do?" The intoned question was anticipated and the hooded figure smiled darkly letting his face show briefly in the torchlight to reveal an older man with a long beard and his smile was as evil as the mind behind it.

"Drive the wedge between them, sever the bond if you can and watch them all fall down. Torment their weaknesses, for the woman her siblings I believe will be the way to drive her to madness and for him being powerless to stop her downward spiral will be only the beginning to his downfall. Bring her here and when you do, bring her back alive." He warned as the two males uttered rousing cheers exiting the room and the first noticed the disgusted look on the female's face. "Now you, my dear I am sure have more than a bit of news for me?" He said beckoning the solitary figure forward to caress her cheek, noticing the fine almost delicate features and the tendrils of pale hair peering from under her hood.

"All I can say is that you might have begun your schemes too late, she will be very guarded now." The female voice held in it a soft lilt of the elven-kindred and deep down, she could not help but wonder what she had actually gotten herself into.

Summer was just beginning to take over from the comfortable warmth of spring before I could feel the first real stirrings of the life inside myself outside of the nausea that was my constant companion and the occasional absurd craving for a particular food. Because several weeks had passed, only the most subtle changes on the outside had come about, a subtle gain here or a curve where there had only been lean lines but beyond that there was no real indication of the fragile life that grew within me.

"It will take time, before such becomes very obvious." Elrond's voice was a low murmur in my ear as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders rubbing them as he did. "Elven children take upward of a complete lunar year, sometimes longer to develop under normal circumstances." He explained pressing his fingertip to my lips as they parted to respond, "I do not anticipate our child requiring quite that long but certainly longer than you would expect under your own normal parameters, which if memory serves me properly for humans is nine months."

"That's comforting." I remarked quietly letting my back rest against his chest, "Don't you have official running of the realm to do?" I inquired innocently peering up at him.

"For the time being Erestor and Glorfindel have matters well in hand." Elrond's answer was uncharacteristically evasive and I could sense under the mild tone a tremor of worry that I couldn't attribute to the baby.

"Uh huh, and this is where I tell you milord that you are attempting to redirect my attention from the fact you are anxious about something." I said turning around so that I could see his face fully and without the sometimes distorting and distorted reflection of the looking-glass.

Elrond's soft sigh revealed just how accurate my direct words had been, "I cannot deny that I do have a concern. News of our child has, quite naturally as all secrets do, spread with bird-wings far and wide and drawn the attention of peoples of all kinds. Most have no ill will over our relationship and the child to come... however there are those who do not agree so readily."

"And you did not expect this?" I intoned quietly with a small smile of my own up at him, "I did."

"I anticipated resistance, anger even but threats against both of your lives I did not." Elrond answered sharply his gaze more serious than I had ever seen it be.

_Well it's hardly a surprise. No one expects a nobody like me to end up bound to and a permanent part of the life of an elven elder,_ I thought to myself as the threat against my life registered and I dismissed it out of hand. However, the life within me.. the threat against such an innocent being whose only crime would be that it had the impunity to opt to grow within my womb was unthinkable. "I know you do not desire me to take up arms out of the fear that doing so will place myself in harm's way..."

"You are correct in that, I would not like for anything to happen to either of you." Elrond answered as he brushed my hair back over my ears affectionately as though the gesture would ease his anxiety.

"And I am not going to roll over and expect someone to sacrifice their day to guard me when at this point I am capable of defending myself." I said putting my foot down realizing that was exactly what he was about to suggest. "Absolutely not." I shook my head and dug in my heels.

"I know you feel strongly about this," Elrond answered taking a seat on the vanity chair in order to pull me into his embrace, "And for now, please consider to help find a few you trust to help give me peace of mind, hm?" He said turning the perspective to one I hadn't yet managed to turn it to myself.

_I hate it when you do that._ I fumed to myself with a silent scowl, _What makes this more frustrating is when I know you're right and that I should do this, not for me but for the baby._ "I will keep my stance firm but I will begin to assess those I would like to become an extension of my ability." I decided that in order to alleviate the brewing argument, which I did not have the fortitude for now nor the energy for the aftermath of later that a compromise was required, "In light of the fact before probably five months has passed, my ability to readily defend myself is going to be greatly diminished." I said studying his face and enjoyed the resigned expression that revealed that I had wedged him into a corner with my words.

"I do not like it," He answered with a deep sigh as one hand wrapped around my side protectively, "But I know the virtue of being able to compromise when I know you are trying as well. May I recommend that you consult Glorfindel or Erestor for suggestions for individuals who might have the skill set you will require? I am confident that their insight will prove to be invaluable for you."

"I would not ask of anyone else such a delicate task, lest ears who do not need to hear catch the words." I replied leaning to kiss his cheek softly, "And thank you for understanding my side of this," I said slipping from the embrace in order to enter the bathing area to slip into the reassuring and comfortable water.

By the time I had emerged from the bath, Elrond had already vacated the room but I did find that he had left behind a cup of tea and a breakfast pastry with a layer of sugar crusting the top of it. "Always thinking ahead," I murmured to myself lifting the pastry from the plate to take the first bite of it.

I redressed and ventured to the practice fields where I knew that Glorfindel would very likely be working with his horse Asfaloth on their regular exercises for the day. It was a thing of beauty to watch, I decided perching on the fence post in order to be able to see without being in the way of hoof or foot.

The two were a matched set in a way that even I had never witnessed before - every move the horse made, Glorfindel anticipated and calculated into his own in a liquid grace that even a cat would struggle to replicate. I envied it, that ability to merge so completely with the nature of a horse as to be able to know exactly what and where the beast would be in the next hoof placement. Watching the pair move unerringly through the mounted sword-work as if they had both been born to it together as a unit was not unlike watching the waters fall from any one of Rivendell's falls. The long blade was the extension of his arm that the staff was for me and there was no mistaking his mastery over the weapon. I was so entranced and enthralled with watching that I did not notice the fact that I had gained a companion of my own. Erestor was standing on the outside of the fence, his dark eyes focused as mine had been on Glorfindel's movements though his words were directed to me.

"It is something amazing to watch the two of them, is it not?"

"It is like watching lovers dance," I answered thoughtfully, "But I do not think that what you had come all this way ot the fields to talk about is the way that Glorfindel moves."

"I could watch him move from sun rise to sunset and never be bored." Erestor countered with a small chuckle as he extended a small rolled parchment to me, "Elrond informed me that you required... assistance in the future and that recommendations were in order. Those names are mine." He said quietly as I unrolled the page to read it. I did not recognize any of the names and I noticed that there was a mix of male and female names. "Each of them comes with a particular skill set which might suit what you are seeking. If you need further information on anyone you need only ask either of us," He said as Glorfindel's exercises were just about complete and he was passing the tired, but inordinately pleased horse off to the waiting groom.

"Ah, I am sorry I did not realize I had admirers today I would have pushed Asfaloth to perform his more showy maneuvers." Glorfindel was, as any natural warrior often was after a successful practice, in high spirits and humor.

"To see perfection move such as I saw today is more than satisfying in the delay." I answered him as he leaned against the high railing of the fence near to where I was sitting and Erestor stood.

"The lady is a flatterer." Glorfindel remarked lowering his voice to keep the conversation more private, "I assume then that you know of the threats."

I nodded curling the parchment into my fingers and allowed myself the moment of anger, "My life, I guard only because to watch over my grave will destroy him in the proper time; the life of my child I will defend beyond my time given opportunity."

"Give me that," Glorfindel's tone was pleasant but held a commanding edge as he held out his hand to scan the contents of the names nodding at times. "This must be your work, Erestor." He said passing it back to me with a smile, "Those are each excellent candidates. When you are ready, my dear I will arrange for the interviews, I imagine you wish no more than six total."

I nodded and smiled, "I would like to begin sooner than later, just because I retain my abilities currently it does not indicate how long I will given the seriousness of the morning-sickness I have endured for the last few weeks."

"And the afternoon-sickness." Erestor added with a light poke at my upper ribcage, "I think it wise, and it will ease the mind of Lord Elrond that you are taking the steps sooner than later before such a time as you are dependent upon the aid of others."

I swatted his hand away with a slightly annoyed look, allowing myself the small flicker of it as he smirked in answer and the look reminded me of just how many layers there were to Erestor's nature and personality. "Must you be so sarcastic on such a lovely day?" I countered carefully and I decided to expedite the process of personally eliminating anyone and looked between the two, "Send me the top six preferred of those on this list to the north gardens where I will make the final selections in two days time."

Two mornings later, I sat patiently in the early-morning sun as six elves emerged from the shadows around me each clad in what I recognized as their workout gear from the practice halls. I saw that there was no malice to any of the faces around me. One of them stepped forward, to my surprise it was an attractive pale blond who extended her hand in greeting.

"An honor, Lady to be given this opportunity." She spoke in the warm, liquid tones that I associated with Rivendell's residents. "And a vital one because those threats," She stepped nearer to complete the greeting lowering her voice, "Are very real' the border-guards turned away a half-dozen Haradrim men - men from the far South past the realm of Gondor just after midnight."

I paled under the news and nodded, "I assume then that Glorfindel and Erestor were clear in what I was looking for?"

"Absolutely," She answered easily recognizing the shift from the 'lady' to the warrior that I had made briskly and importantly as she sat down and the conversation began in earnest. "We would not have come if we did not meet the strict guidelines and expectations of the three lords." She answered as the others settled into a firm line and began speaking again, "We each have a specialty - from poison, to ranged fighting, to the up-close methods you prefer m'lady and others some less than polite to speak of in any company." She said not revealing openly who was who.

"You do understand I am only participating in this because I have no other option." I said reluctantly as her smile was genuine and full of humor.

"We were warned that you were in disagreement with this, but had compromised only because it was a matter of time before your natural ability would be overcome by the baby." Her tone was understanding, and carefully neutral. "I know what you are," She lowered her voice further as the other five began setting up per their obvious orders from the female who offered her hand as she smirked. "Wisely I was selected to head this little group, Lord Elrond thought you would respond more ... politely to a female voice then yet another male attempting to tell you what to do." She laughed at my astonished expression and I realized it had rippled like water through her. "Oh you do share your emotions when caught unaware." She placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezing it gently. "Before you reject our talents out of turn, talk with Elladan and Elrohir about the year in which you were not here. and you may better understand why Lord Elrond is reacting this way."

Despite my reservations to pry that deeply into the intimacies of the relationship between Elrond and his sons, something in my mind recognized that if this warrior - a female warrior no less would have such conviction that I should then I would. "All right, and even if I refuse to work with you; I am quite certain that you would still be training to do this task."

"We would be prepared to step in to take over the care of your life even if you had refused to be part of this." She affirmed gently looking at me, "It has been a long count of years since Rivendell has had a lady to look after. He chose you, to the consternation of some and you are who we will look after with your agreement and without it. It will be far easier if you agree to it."

"To what do we owe the honor of joining you for a cup of tea?" Elladan's voice held in it amusement and his twin held the tray.

"More importantly, why are we here." Elrohir chimed in setting the tray laden down with the teapot, and the little canisters holding the prepared tea leaves. "Rather than the public garden we know you favor when you are meeting someone."

"Sit down first," I said reaching for the platter of small cookies and pastries and smiled faintly at them as they accepted the invitation seriously.

"Okay that means this is business not pleasure." Elladan commented pouring the water over the leaves to let them simmer.

"I received the recommendation early this morning to talk to you two about the events of the year I was not here." I said slowly reaching to cradle my tea cup.

"You spoke with Belinniel." Elladan spoke with a grimace, apparently recognizing who would make such a suggestion without question. "She is an intelligent female with a long history of watching over our family. It is no surprise that she would bring this to your attention as part of her duties."

"I like her," I answered him raising the mug to my lips to take a sip of the tea I did not actually want, but knew better than brave the coveted coffee. "Though I am curious as to why she would make this sort of statement."

"Because she was the head of our mother's personal guard once, and took over as lead over father's alongside Erestor." Elrohir said lowering his voice as such was not common knowledge. "And, in her own way she likes you. If she did not, I can promise you this conversation would never be happening at her suggestion."

"However, that is sidestepping the question which you did not outright ask." Elladan said smiling slightly. "What is it you want to know exactly?"

"Whatever you feel comfortable telling me." I decided watching their expressions cloud over with a soft groan from each.

"It was like watching someone slowly self-destruct." Elladan said slowly reaching for one of the pastries and habitually broke it in half passing one half to his twin as he steadied himself before Elrohir picked up the thread as Elladan chewed the pastry. Their mutual unease and upset rippled into my conscious mind and left an ache on my insides.

"Father was not eating, he could not sleep, all he wanted to be was left alone." Elrohir shifted his weight and lowered his voice, "By MidWinter Solstice we barely saw him, and he was spending all of his time out at his cabin."

"Which was a double-edged sword." I murmured letting my hand rest on my lower belly gently well able to understand what that meant especially now.

"Yes." Elladan nodded as both leaned forward and I could read easily the troubled expression left lingering just under the warm inviting presence that both were giving the impression for the casual passer-by that we were discussing nothing unusual only speaking softly together. "It was like looking at an emotionally ravaged stranger inhabiting Father's body."

I must have been silent for too long as I blinked at the hand shaking mine and focused solely on Elrohir's concerned eyes, recognizing the feel and taste of despair in his gaze. His voice was low almost silent as he said the words that fell upon me as if a death-knell were tolling in my heart. "It will destroy a piece of him permanently when the ravages of time take you from his side, please if for no other reason than that do not allow your stubborn pride to suner that bond before either of you is prepared for it."

I realized then that both of the twins were aware that there was little that I would avoid more deliberately and carefully than to cause their father any kind of pain. The realization that while I had been floundering and a little adrift on the uncertain seas of recovery from what, to everyone else appeared a traumatic brain and body injury; he had been reeling from a self-inflicted emotional evisceration. There were times to suck up one's pride and do the necessary thing and this was one of them. If I allowed my pride to get in the way of a relatively simple step of permitting and training with a handful of elves whose function was not to get in my way but to get into the way of danger aimed at my child - then I deserved everything that I got. "Thank you, both of you I think I know what I have to do. If you will pardon me I will get that process properly begun." I said getting to my feet and smirked as they did exactly the same as I.


	81. Chapter 81

/Author's Note: Welcome to the new favorites and I hope you enjoy the story as much as I have enjoyed reading and writing it myself. I'm always curious what people really think, feel or question about the story. My message box is always open and I try to reply in a timely manner. Also, many thanks with your patience in the delays lately, life has been busy and with summer coming it doesn't look like its slowing down anytime soon. Happy reading! - silentdovesong.

Chapter Eighty-One

"You cannot be serious." I heard the elven voice and glared with open hostility toward Belinniel as I mounted defiantly.

"In case you missed a memorandum, I have a broken habit of doing what I damn well please. And today I damn well please to take a ride up on the plains. If this beautiful beast wishes it on the open grass I might even go for a gallop. Your approval is about the last thing that matters to me." I replied lightly spurring the horse past the stunned female and directed him to the nearest exit out of the city grounds needing the open air away from the unseen, watchful eyes that left me no peace. I was equally sure that I would gain no more than an hour maybe two before I was herded back to the city. "Run, friend." I urged the horse in insistent tones nudging gently with my thighs as we neared the bridges until I heard the hailing shout -

"Halt!"

"NO!" I shouted back over a shoulder as the horse turned the corner and into the less-filtered sun knowing very well the last vision that particular guardsman would have was the stream of hair flying behind me.

The wind tasted like spring-in-bloom on my tongue and I reveled in the whirl as I spurred the horse to a full sprinting gallop. There was sunlight, seed and the comfortably arousing spin of new life and the circle continuing. There was something powerful, potent in the feeling I had and it seemed that the horse felt it as well.

Elrond looked at the annoyed she-elf suppressing the need to smile let alone indulge in the laugh that burned at his throat as he listened to the account from Belinniel. "Tell me, specifically why are you telling me this?" He managed a neutral tone, and a steady gaze.

"My lord, you know the danger she faces - the scouts and others have narrowed down the list of those responsible to three, what if one of them has their own spies in Rivendell?" Belinniel argued patiently, having been warned by Glorfindel that Elrond would be reluctant to side against Raina's wishes.

"Getting out of bed is a risk." Elrond's patient tone remained as the small smile toyed at the corner of his lips, "Raina's nature is wild Belinniel, and unlike the docile ladies you are accustomed to she is not receptive to having her life dictated to her."

"But - " She sighed closing her eyes beginning to realize that despite his concern, that Elrond was not going to allow anyone to bring the lady back to the safety of Rivendell before she was willing to return.

"Might I remind you, there are both half-hourly and hourly patrols across the plains." Elrond's tone was mild, even as he rose to his feet, "Your concern is admirable, valid even. That said, Raina is not at all like the ladies of the elven courts. Few things rankle her the way being told what she may, or may not do - down to the wearing of slipper-shoes to the boots she loves." He added with a calm look. "I am quite sure that before lunchtime, her horse will be in the care of the grooms and she will be in the bath washing the grime from her skin and hair."

Belinniel sighed realizing that Elrond had backed her into a corner, "You mean to leave her to this foolishness?"

Elrond laughed softly, the smile reaching his eyes as he met the she-elf's. "Yes, as a matter of fact I do intend to do just that. Better that she do so now, in the hours of the sun than slip out already tired from the day and actually pose a danger to herself.

"Just how do you expect me to complete the task of keeping her safe when you refuse to see my point?" Belinniel lashed out at Elrond leaning on his desk to glare into the calm, nearly amused grey eyes.

"Did you assume, as so many others did that Raina's impulsivity and independent nature were going to evaporate like breath on an autumn morning?" He demanded quietly lowering his voice dangerously, "I did not, nor do I want that fate for my consort." He continued evenly, "Raina is never going to be a docile being - content to do the knitting and sit for hours at a tea, Belinniel. She is at heart a warrior, with a warrior's mind, and needs."

Understanding dawned across the she-elf's face as the recognition of the words - of why she had been firstly on the top three of their lists of candidates and ultimately why she had again charge over the keeping of the highest ranking female in the city she called home. Not only was she a warrior herself, but she also had the understanding, and experience of conflicting interests - though those were long since passed with the raising of her only son, As well this fact coincided with the reality that she had a unique understanding of the delicate political balance that had to be danced around. "I am beginning to grasp why."

"Belinniel, while mortal herself she is going to watch her sisters die, their husbands, children and likely several generations thereafter before the eternal sleep raises to claim her." Elrond spoke quietly, the pain that the thought lanced along his nerves apparent in his tone. "What she will need long before then is a friend."

Belinniel sat at her desk working on the ever-present pile of paperwork mulling over the less-than successful conversation with Lord Elrond while she sat signing off on some requests and marking them on the rolling year-calendar that the squadron leaders used to coordinate patrols and other messengers. _What she will need long before then is a friend._ Lord Elrond's voice echoed in her thoughts repeatedly and the idea made perfect sense.

Raina was going to outlive every currently living member of her family, from the bubbly, almost irritating Nikki - the same sibling that Raina adored; the frustrating Willow, even the youngest one. Sweet, fledgling Autumn who was now living in Lorien. Belinniel reminded herself as she made notes listening to the sounds of the city while letting her mind wander and muse. Those deaths were going to be devastating, and for one with as ... passionate... Belinniel decided was a suitable word for the lady's nature and personality the fallout was going to be equally so for those left behind.

_Lord Elrond is right, the lady needs a friend - but she has them already. _ Her thoughts collided over each other with a swing of a pendulum's movement. _Glorfindel is inordinately fond of her, and Erestor's as close to enamored with her as I have ever seen him with anyone; let alone anyone female. Or is that just it, Lord Elrond seeks a feminine voice of reason for her?_ She mused as hissed voices caught her ear, only just on the very edge of her capability to hear.

"You're positive we are alone?" the voice was masculine, human if her ears were not deceptive in the silence as Belinniel would slip to her door, one hand reaching for the knife always at her belt while on duty.

"No one but the woman who does Glorfindel's filing is in this area at this time." The second voice was feminine, elvish in tone and obviously irritated at being questioned. Belinniel tensed and strained her ears to hear more clearly what was being said firstly and secondly to ascertain whom it was the man was speaking of.

"What news do you have for the master?" The man was clearly not taking chances; though he had no means to know that she was done with the filing and listening to glean every possible inch of information to report back to Erestor immediately. The accent was Haradrim as the known spies had reported already, but her ears confirmed it without sight, and the shadow on the floors indicated a man of no exceptional height or bearing which was how in a city as Rivendell he would look no more out of place than a dwarf at his forge. But dismissing him, she sought to capture more about the female as she saw the shadows move she appeared to have focused onto the wall calendar but was actually scribbling on the notes section what was said making her shadow move as if checking information.

"Nothing of value really other than the lady has taken to riding on the plains in the day hours - it seems safe enough. I hope her pattern of seeking solitude continues for it would be easy pickings from up there where the patrols are easily tracked and avoided." the feminine voice held in it the distinctive lilt of Rivendell though it sounded to Belinniel's ear forced; and it was definitely not belonging to anyone in the most intimate circles. Whom, however she couldn't be sure as the man sighed.

"He's not going to be happy that such is all that I am bringing back. You better have something good in a week's time." the hiss was angry and Belinniel hurriedly looked at the parchment as if stretching once while writing on the board. The man was dressed as a typical Haradrim merchant - the long finery and the indistinct bearing that marked him "harmless" such as the warring, violent people ever were. Likely, if she would pass the knowledge on Erestor could confirm the silk trader or the spice-man had come again to peddle and bring back goods from the north.

Of greater interest, and deliberately Belinniel was watching the wall more than capable to observe her doorway when the she-elf passed the door her brow furled angrily and the realization that the treachery was deep as was the anger. "If you harm one red hair on that head, or cause an incident which brings harm to an innocent no mercy will stay the temper of the elf-lord." Belinniel said aloud to herself softly scribbling more notes about the female's appearance before hurrying to find Erestor without drawing the attention of the retreating female.

"Belinniel." The surprise was not inflected into the cool voice of the Chief Counselor of Rivendell's voice though it registered in his dark eyes studying her face and the fact she carried still a folder he recognized as guard notes. "What is it?" He asked lowering his voice.

"I have news that may lead us to whomever is threatening Raina." She said lowly turning so that her back shielded her from having anyone else register her words. "I am concerned, Erestor."

Erestor raised his voice as if he had just read over her shoulder something and it carried deliberately to offer a reasonable cover for why she would have appeared unexpectedly, "Ah, there's that report I requested, please come in and we can discuss it." Only after the door was securely closed did Erestor's calm demeanor slip slightly, "What has happened that sends you directly to me, rather than to Glorfindel which would have been your normal response to urgent news?"

"I believe one of the spice-traders is more than just a trader based upon the conversation that I overheard just a few minutes ago." Belinniel answered him directly watching as his dark eyes deepened in hue. "I am certain that whomever is making these threats is using someone from the city to find out information about Raina. Whoever she is, even today's ride on the plains was noted."

Erestor exhaled softly through his teeth, and eyed Belinniel carefully. "You do realize you are essentially telling me that there is at least one traitor within the sacred walls of Rivendell. One potentially close to Lord Elrond."

"I would not make such an accusation had I not heard with my own ears these words." Belinniel replied knowing better than to be insulted at the cautious words. "Use your own network, find out what you can. I suggest you start with the spice and cloth traders from the south, the man from what I had seen was dressed as one." She turned toward the door and eyed the other elf with a small smile, "We all have our ways of finding out things, Erestor but as soon as I have this she-elf's name on my tongue by fair means or foul I will bring it before you. I have other work to do this night."

"Just be careful," Erestor's voice was quiet enough that Belinniel turned to eye him quietly, letting one hand rest on the doorknob just about to turn it.

"I am always careful, it is my charge whom is not always." The smile was in dark eyes though it didn't quite meet her lips or rueful voice. "But perhaps if I can set things in motion properly this news I bring can be utilized in such a way as to create a situation in which we can unmask at least the lesser of the troubles."

Erestor inclined his head, "For now, just keep your eyes and ears open, along with trying to keep one of each upon a woman who wishes for neither."

"Y'know if you do that you're going to lose in about three moves." I spoke up from behind Nikki as I approached at such an angle as to see her chessboard against a relaxed Elladan who was to my surprise indulging Mandy in letting her practice braiding his long hair.

"You are not supposed to be helping." There was a mock-annoyed inflection to Elladan's voice as he sat in his chair patiently waiting for Nikki to take her next move on the board.

"Who said I was helping her?" I answered with a bright smile aimed at him as I settled myself onto the lounging couch letting one foot dangle off the side of it casually.

"Well that sentence was rather directive." Elladan replied, his voice was aiming for annoyed but the light humor in his expression ruined the effect he was going for.

"Actually that was more of an observation, you just do not want to lose the round." Elrohir disagreed laughing as he sat nearby inspecting one of his riding tunics and beginning the tedious task of mending it by hand. I had long ago discovered that traditionally "female" roles for humans were shared almost universally between the sexes. That said, the twins were up until recently I had learned, often long on the roads hunting orcs and their ilk to chase their existence from the face of the map which meant that traditionally "feminine" roles such as cooking, keeping clean, and sewing were skills that both of them had mastered.

"Now both of you be good and play nice." I interjected into their brewing storm of teasing before tempers could flare. "And I was merely observing, nor did I tell her what move I would have taken."

A few minutes later I was in a state of lightly dozing in part because the filtered sunlight was warm and I was comfortable for once, without nausea and listening to their lighthearted words and stirred only at the feel of a small hand on my cheek. Opening my eyes I saw the smiling face of the littlest of the rescued orphans.

"You just sleeping, I sowrry." the child's voice intoned as I heard and waved off the scold from Nikki.

"Just taking a little nap, the sun made me warm and sleepy." I answered reaching to ruffle her hair and then patted the lounge chair for her to climb up. "I always have a moment to see you little miss."

Airese climbed up onto the chaise with me and curled up using my arm as a headrest peering up at me with her inquisitive gaze. "Why sleeping at daytime, you's okay?"

I smiled despite myself, the child's innocent nature was calming and I reached to tap the tip of her nose, "I am well, Mama Nikki told you about the baby growing in my belly right?" I waited a moment and she nodded emphatically, "It takes a lot of energy for me and like you when I am tired and grouchy I sleep."

Her giggle was sweet and I wrinkled my nose as the sticky kiss I got on my cheek, "Can I stay here sleep too?"

_How could I refuse that? Not, that I think either of the girls would mind so long as the little imp takes the nap I know she's supposed to be taking._ "Come on in, lay it down if you want to." I said yawning softly and shifted my weight to give her enough room to do just that.

"Hey, Nikki have you seen Airese she was in her bed and I went to see if she had actually taken a nap..." She trailed off as Nikki shushed her and pointed where Raina and Airese were both sleeping. Her lips formed an open "O" shape as she realized what Nikki was pointing at.

"Airese came up and zeroed in on Raina and almost before I realized what she had done she'd woke her up too. Before I could even scold her, Raina had the baby up on that chair with her and the both of there were over there sound asleep for the last hour or so." Nikki explained smiling at her sister.

"That sounds like the little scamp, I turn around and she's gone." Destiny laughed as she sat down beside Nikki looking over the chess board and the carefully boxed pieces. "Ah your weekly thrashing at chess with Elladan?"

Nikki nodded with a sigh, "I think I'm getting a handle on the game of it and then I get the hammer thrown down on me and I'm left thinking what the hell."

"You'll get the hang of it." Destiny said shaking her hair out of her eyes, "You just think too much and over-think the wrong aspects of the whole plan. We had the same issue with the fights as Rangers too until you got the hang of flying by the seat of your pants."

"You're so encouraging." Nikki sighed as she glanced to the sleeping pair and lowered her voice. "Rumor has it there's someone taking aim at Raina."

Destiny nodded and shifted her weight closer to Nikki, "I know, I heard of it in the most hushed of tones. That guard Elrond's got taking aim at a captainship over her care asked me to start searching the traders market. I'm going down tomorrow, do you want to come down with me?"

Nikki nodded, "Anything to try to keep her out of danger nothing scares me more than the idea of something happening - I mean Raina's still pretty capable to take care of herself but it's not her that whoever this is, will gun for."

Destiny's frown was clear as she nodded slightly, "The baby." she said simply and the worry was apparent in her darker eyes, "it's not Raina who scares me if that happens - you know the saying about the quiet one?"

"Yeah, it's the quiet one that'll kill you, and in that case he'll take you to the edge of death a few times before mercy is shown." Nikki cringed, "Des, we have to make sure it never comes to that."

"She's looked after us our whole lives, Nikki for once we've got to do the same for her. At least with us doing it she's not as likely to bitch about it or do something silly like take off again without telling anyone."

"Oh she'll do that too." Nikki disagreed as she pulled her sister's sleeve, "Come on let's go find Lord Elrond and let him know that we're going to try to form a partial shield for Raina, goodness knows it's only going to partly work anyway cause she's such a stubborn cuss."


	82. Chapter 82

Chapter Eighty-Two

_ This is a dream, I felt my conscious mind protest as the heavy chains kept my hands secured over my head and the bitter bite of coppery blood filled my nose even as I heard the sharp snapping crack of a whip through the air before ripping into my back forcing a cry from my lips as it tore open a barely-healed wound. It was not the first lash, nor would it be the last, I was sure as I could still hear a voice telling me my worth, and my purpose neither of which were true. "You're dead." I spoke into the stillness of the cave unable to see Camtamin but knew what my unconscious mind was trying to do - make sense of the senselessness. "You have no power here..." I cut off biting down to stop the sound that threatened at the next unseen lash, when I was faintly aware of Elrond's voice calling my name._

_ "Raina. Wake up. it is a dream." There was gentle command in the tone which slid into the dream._

"Raina," I was vaguely aware of someone calling me and a moment later the call came again, "Raina, love wake up." A familiar pair of grey eyes were focused on me as mine focused on him, "It is all right, you were dreaming." I felt the hug tighten carefully around me as I burrowed into his shoulder, "What was it you dreamed?"He murmured against my temple even as I trembled.

"I was back in those chains, in the cave." My voice cracked slightly as the overwhelming sickness and revulsion warred inside of me, "Oh, dear gods it was as bad as if it had been happening all over again."

"It was just a dream," Elrond's voice was a familiar caress against my nerves almost as tangible as the hand he was winding through my hair, "You are safe," I heard the firm assertion as my senses balanced themselves and the faint stirring in my middle reminded me just how far my life had come away from my previous years. "Shh," Elrond's voice softened and I felt myself calming as he leaned against the headboard in order to draw me into his lap. "It was just a dream." He repeated as I raised my head to look at him.

"It was very real." I answered drawing a trembling breath, raking my hands through my hair. "Damn was it ever real."

"Dreams can be, love." Elrond answered gently running his fingers through my hair to brush it away from my face. "Come now, do not let it rob you of rest, you need it." Elrond's voice was soothing and I felt his arms wrap protectively around my back, "No further dreams will chase you in your rest." He murmured drawing me a bit closer to his chest. I knew that meant he would be sitting up even as I dozed, since I did not expect to drop so deeply into a slumber as to dream again...

_ "There you are." The soft voice was as rich as wine but as smooth as honey in tea, as I looked up to find Elrond smiling at me as he sat down extending his legs so that I would have a place to sit between them._

_ "This is a dream, isn't it?" I asked looking at him then myself, noticing that the subtle swell to my middle still protruded lightly from my form._

_ "Yes," Elrond answered me gently as I was drawn into the familiar warm embrace, "A good one I think, hhm?" He murmured kissing my temple gently and I found myself curling closer to him in order to feel the firm weight of his body against mine._

_ "A very good one." I agreed as the possessive hand lowered to wrap lightly around my side and I felt the pressure of the touch against my skin and sighed once even as he wrapped himself even closer to me. "Why did you come?" I asked nestling my head against his chest and did not need to see his face to know he smiled._

_ "The responsible answer, my love would be that I was caring for your needs." I heard the soft smile in his voice, "The truer answer would be that I wished to."_

_ Even in the dream-realm of peaceful thoughts and gentler memories, I found myself lightly flushing with the thought and realization of his words. "Nevertheless, I am never unhappy to see you." I murmured settling against his chest, very aware of his lips brushing against my temple._

"Well this is a surprise," I turned to see Glorfindel resting against the post beside the cabinets which held the spare weapons in the workspace. "I thought you promised Lord Elrond you would behave yourself."

"I am not sparring with anyone," I pointed out reasonably, "I am merely keeping myself in good health, and spirits." I threw in the last almost as an afterthought. _Besides having this baby is going to be one of the most demanding physical things I have ever done, lay off me damn it."_

"Are you sure you should be?" Glorfindel's dubious tone was faintly paternal, and definitely affectionate which was warming - I was inordinately fond of those close to Elrond and that it was demonstratively returned was comforting.

"Yes." I replied firmly, "Might I remind the mighty Balrog-slayer of old that women of both the mortal races and the immortal alike have been bearing children since the early days." I was teasing and I let the flicker of my amusement flare across my face.

Catching wind of my amusement, he indulged my whim and placed a dramatic hand across his breast and I laughed at the comical groan, "Ohh, the lady wounds me mortally this morning."

Laughing, I swatted at him with the extended reach of the staff in my hands, "You, my friend are incorrigible."

"Oh yes however if I were not, you would be worried about my well-being." Glorfindel replied shaking his head slightly.

"Hahaha you are so funny this morning." I replied resting my weight against the staff lightly and eyed him as a less pleasant idea occurred to me and a faint trickle of temper crawled up my back. "You drew the short straw on babysitting me this morning." I accused narrowing my eyes.

"Actually, Elladan did but since you were here it would have been more obvious if he came in since you know very well the lads are getting ready to go out on a mission for Elrond." Glorfindel changed gears almost smoothly enough to be convincing but not quite enough to stem my temper.

"What part of 'take care of myself' did you all miss?" I heard my voice raise as a nearly irrational bit of temper flared in my mind.

"Whoa, kitty-cat." Glorfindel tried shifting his tone to a soothing, calming tone as he caught the swing of my staff with one hand, "There's no cause to be so angry."

"Shows what you know." I shot back furiously glaring as the first painful prick of tears poked hotly in the corners of my eyes. "You're not the one who everyone's acting like is made of glass!"

"I do not think that anyone who knows you would consider you anything nearly so fragile as glass. A gem, certainly and prized as worth more than Imladris' healthy coffers by Lord Elrond." He returned allowing himself to display a flicker of annoyance, pulling the staff out of my hands in order to keep me from swinging it at him.

Tears welled into my eyes unexpectedly and I saw the understanding dawn in Glorfindel's clear blue eyes. Casting the staff harmlessly to the side I found myself picked up into a gentle hug that left my feet dangling. "I'm sorry I don't even know what caused me to say that. Please don't me mad at me."

"Little one, I know exactly what caused that." He said setting me lightly on my feet again, "And do not fear, you are forgiven and it is forgotten." Glorfindel reached and ruffled my hair lightly, "Now I know just the thing to settle ruffled kitten-fur." He said steering me out of the weapons room and into his working-office where a tray of various pastries and baked goods sat waiting crowned by a triad of my favorite éclairs.

Plucking one from the top of the spiraling display I bit into it and stifled the satisfied mewl as Glorfindel slid gracefully into his chair. "Mmm,mmhmmph." I said waving the éclair much to the elder elf's intense amusement.

"You are very welcome," Glorfindel was clearly smug over his victory to diffuse my temper, "And the other two are yours as well." He gestured with one hand as he reached for several parchments, "Selfishly I am thrilled to have your attention- I recall the clever kitten and her strategies once concerning dilemma for a city for which there was no definite loyalty, would she be willing to assist me again?"

"Sure, it beats the fires out of being treated like a fragile statuette." I answered reaching for the handful of parchment papers in his hand and began reading as I chewed on the second of the trio of éclairs. I was surprised to be reading through the security reports from the border-guards and the city-guards alike and noticed that there was an influx of traders from the far south. "What resources does Rivendell normally trade with from the south, I mean past Gondor?" I asked cautiously as I read through a second time as he looked puzzled.

"What do you mean?" Glorfindel inquired sitting up at the sound of my voice which had drawn him out of the letter he had been reading while I had been examining the papers he had handed me.

"I was just skimming through - you know getting a broad view of the picture and I noticed that a common thread on both the borders and in the city-guard was the influx of the traders from the south. Call me a little crazy, but I do not recall such an influx before, one or two maybe three but look." I spun the page so he could see it and pointed to the notation of more than six or seven traders all clothed in the same manner - of Haradrim.

"That is a bit unusual isn't it?" Glorfindel mused quietly to himself, "I do not recall so many of the Haradrim coming up at a time usually it is one or two in a band then returning with their wagons full again."

"Perhaps it is something that needs to be investigated." I suggested gingerly as he studied the papers.

"Would you honor a request from a friend?" Glorfindel's voice was worried, though I could detect that he would be pressing me for my agreement even if I did not like it, "Please do not go about on your own, I think you are on to something about the unusual influx of traders from one place. I am not asking you to be a lady in the towers, little one." He cut off my protesting look with an easy smile, "In fact I would rather you did not, but please be safe and use your good sense." He reached to ruffle the messy braid of my hair and I laughed despite myself with the familiar easy touch.

"I will be sure to be extra careful if I am alone," I promised him, mindful not to make a promise that I was not certain that I could keep fully. "And, I will try to stay in a group or at least with someone else."

"That is all that I can ask," Glorfindel said quietly as I could see that something was bothering him about the traders, "Please take care of yourself, if not for yourself then for the baby."

"I will." I smiled faintly, "If I cannot do that much selflessly I have quite a rude lesson ahead I think." I finished with a shake of my head as I rose to my feet, "At any rate, Glorfindel I shall leave you to your ruminations and investigations, I am going to go charm my way into more of these." I said pilfering the last of the delicate pastries from the top tier knowing very well that the chef would indulge almost any of my preferred dishes no matter what it was.

"This is madness," Belinniel thought to herself even as her feet carried her along the path leading to the front door of the Oliver home. "Even if she lets me in to talk, I do not think that Nikki will agree to anything that puts her at odds with Raina." Nevertheless she stopped at the door and raised one hand to knock firmly onto the wooden surface.

Before her hand could finish the procedure the door opened revealing a younger girl her face could be a younger version of Nikki and Raina, "Hi, can I help you?" the girl asked her blue eyes meeting Belinniel's in a curious gaze.

"I am looking for Nikki. Aren't you her daughter, Amanda?" she asked as the young girl smiled at her nodding.

"Momma's in the kitchen if you'll come in and sit there I'll go get her for you." Mandy said motioning the startled elf inside and toward a seat before skipping off toward what she could tell was the kitchen.

Moments later a sweaty but happy looking Nikki came in, "Can I help you with something?" She asked giving Belinniel a once over raising one eyebrow curiously at her.

"I am hoping so," Belinniel asked rising to her feet as she saw the curious look. "If you are willing to."

Nikki nodded using the towel in hand to wipe her brow and her hands motioning toward the kitchen, "Then please if you don't mind following me to the kitchen while I finish my family's food. My husband will be home soon with our son."

"Please, do not let my appearance interrupt your doings." Belinniel said knowing that children, no matter their race would seek food at regular intervals and a hungry child was difficult at best to contain. "I trust you have been comfortable here?" She inquired deciding against jumping in with both feet with her need first.

Nikki nodded, "It has its up and downs. I still think that some of the elves are not happy we are staying so close to my sister but I like it here and feel safer here than the suggested places for us. However you're not here to ask how my family is settling in, what is it that you are really curious about?" Nikki answered turning the answer into a question to bring about the true nature of Belinniel's visit.

_She is as direct as her sister, no wonder they get on so well together - neither will allow the other to dodge an arrow that they must not._ Belinniel mused reaching to help Nikki with her preparations, partly in gathering the utensils and plates that the younger woman would need for the meal, "It is not so much curiosity, as possible necessity." Belinniel decided to turn toward a direct path rather than a winding one with Nikki, "You know already I think that there is a reason that the guard as a whole are very fussy with Raina's constant need to elude our attention?"

Nikki nodded in response continuing to stir things in the pots motioning Belinniel to continue with one hand as she reached with the other to grab serving bowls for the food.

"I risk my post coming here," Belinniel admitted lowly stepping closer to speak in a soft voice so that her next words would not frighten the young girl nearby, "There is someone, or a group of people we are not certain which who have decided they are going to cause harm toward Raina. Our spies have narrowed down the list, but the greater concern has become there could be aid to them from within Rivendell's walls. Given an opportunity to, I fear for her life and the baby's."

Nikki stopped putting the pot down glancing briefly at the elf before turning toward her daughter, "Mandy why don't you go outside and swing and wait for daddy and Cayden please. This is grownup talk and momma needs someone to keep the boys out till she's ready with dinner." She shooed the young girl out leading her all the way to the door before retreating back into the kitchen and shutting the door, "Are you sure about this?" Her eyes held concern for her sister and unborn niece or nephew.

"I would not come here if I did not have first-hand knowledge of such." Belinniel's tone held in it the firm certainty, "Nor would I unnecessarily worry the one sibling I observed Raina having a very close connection to. She trusts you, I am sorry to say she does not trust any of the guard except Lord Glorfindel."

Nikki nodded finishing her tasks setting bowls down on the table, "Tell me who is it that is planning to harm my sister and what do you need with me?"

"That is the trouble, no one can pinpoint who is making the threats, directly. More maddening is the fact that Lord Elrond seems somehow unconcerned about Raina's behavior in light of this matter - of course one could expect him to be more indulgent given that in fairness one does not lightly undertake making demands of a woman with child." Belinniel mused, "I would appreciate your help in convincing Raina to at least stay with someone if she's going to go on her riding jaunts - I overheard a conversation about a week ago and these people knew about her ride alone earlier that day on the plains." Belinniel's honesty came through her words as she eyed Nikki, "Different as we are, I believe we have the same interest in this matter."

Nikki smiled, "We do have the same interest and that is to keep my sister and the baby to be safe and to keep Lord Elrond sane. I'll do what I can to talk to Raina about her riding with someone even if it's me that goes. I'm not sure if she'll listen but better to come from me than from one of the guard, you or another elf." Nikki motioned Belinniel to sit as she made her way to the door just in time to open it for Tommy and both kids, "Please sit and eat with us. It's not often that we do have visitors including my sister or Lord Elrond."

"It would be an honor," Belinniel said, feeling greatly relieved that enlisting Nikki in assisting Raina had been a success on her part. It was not orthodox to allow, but then Raina herself was no orthodox lady. It was also especially convenient because a great deal of what Nikki had learned, had come from Raina which meant that she would know how to work with rather than against her. "And thank you." She said as she slid into the guest chair.

Nikki nodded, "You're welcome. I'm glad to help anyway that I can. I don't normally interfere but as this deals with Raina I consider this important enough." She sat down in her chair as Tommy choosing not to ask a question, placed Cayden in his and watched as his daughter got into hers.

Belinniel noticed immediately that Nikki did not volunteer the contents of their conversation to Tommy despite catching the look exchanged between the two. Her discretion was going to be invaluable she decided silently, beginning to eat enjoying the soft chatter of the two children sharing their day. There was no doubt that Tommy was going to ask her about it later that day, after the children were snuggled safely into their beds particularly since guests were rare and members of the guard rarer still. It was an enjoyable way to spend a meal, listening to the conversations between father and daughter over their day - the attentive way that Tommy paused his conversation with Nikki with little more than a smile and a pat on the hand to devote his whole attention to the young girl was endearing. She could understand why Raina was as intimately close to this particular sibling - Nikki was innately warm, caretaking and genuinely affectionate with her family; it stood to reason that the same warmth had extended to Raina during different periods of difficulty in her life.

"What's it like, what you do?" Mandy's question drew Belinniel out of her silent musing and listening to the conversations with a startled jerk.

"Mandy!" Nikki's horrified expression and tone caused the slight smile to soften the guard's often-hard lined face.

"No, no my dear it is quite all right," Belinniel answered Nikki's rebuke as Mandy's face fell slightly, "Questions of the curious mind should be answered always, or they will haunt that mind until it ferrets the answer for itself. It is a hard life, in many ways - I do not often get to sit at a table to eat unless I am in Rivendell and that is frequently for only short periods of time."

"But what do you do?" Mandy pressed the small sip of the answer not nearly enough to stem the need to know.

"What I am assigned to do." Belinniel answered carefully choosing her words, "Like each member of the guard I answer to in succession from Lord Glorfindel up the chain of command directly to Lord Elrond himself, should need arise. Mostly though lately I seem to have become an organizer."

"So you've seen battles and stuff?"

"And stuff," Belinniel smiled at the broad answer reaching for the glass of water to take a sip, "Most recently, however I have been vying with several others for an important task."

"Belinniel is one of the guards that Lord Glorfindel is looking at to see if she would be a fit for helping your Aunt Raina." Nikki explained, smiling at Belinniel, "Because of how important she is as Lord Elrond's consort, there are people who would do harm to her simply because of that."

"Well that's dumb." Mandy said with a firm assertion that reminded Belinniel strongly of her father in its directness, "Not only 'cause of people like that but because I have seen Auntie Raina fight and now it's only going to be more direct and bloody 'cause of the baby."

"The child has a point," Belinniel softened the tension with a gentle smile, "Most of the high guard - the ranking members," She clarified more for the children's sake than their parents, "Have seen her sparring or even just practicing as has been the case more recently; and her style previously had stemmed around disabling rather than killing."

"And now it is more short, direct and violent," Nikki nodded with a small nod, "It is like her to do that, I mean even just disabling an opponent they can still sometimes get up or throw even but a dead man is not coming up off the ground."

"I can understand her shift in fighting style, what little practice she is being given time for." Tommy broke in carefully choosing a neutral tone, "It is no longer about defending her life, keeping that promise she made to Lord Elrond but it is about the defense of a life more precious to her than anything she's ever owned - or dared to hope for."

Belinniel found no way to argue that bit of logic from Tommy, "I find myself leaning to agree with you on that. Raina has a puzzling relaxation about herself and her safety but for others an over-abundance of concern."

"That's just Aunt Raina's way." Mandy interjected firmly, "Mommy told me once that she was always the protective type and that I should be patient when she gets weird about things."

Nikki smiled and passed Mandy the basket of fresh rolls that distracted her a moment, "You are right, I did tell you that when you were a little girl because you didn't want to listen to her. It is also very accurate, Raina was the first one standing in the direct line of danger, it is who and what she is ultimately. Lord Elrond has his hands full with her I think."

"I am inclined to agree," Belinniel stood gracefully her smile slight, and regretful, "I would like to stay and talk longer with you all however my duties will not wait for me."

"Please, do come again." Nikki said getting to her feet and moved to escort the guard out of the house and through to the garden exit, speaking again only as they arrived at the gate, "Thank you for coming, and for staying it means a lot to Tommy and I that even an occasional visit happens."

Belinniel smiled and an idea formed as she slipped out of the gate her heart a bit lighter as her mind churned over the bits of information gleaned from the discussion over the meal. The fierce protectiveness that Raina felt over her younger sisters was very much reciprocated. Part of her considered the fact that it very well might be useful because that mutual love, and respect was ingrained.

In the early-morning chill I sat up gasping, completely aware of the butterfly-like sensation rolling around my middle forgetting that Elrond was at times an exceptionally light sleeper. Of course, the fact that I had fallen asleep during our conversation the night before with my head on his shoulder probably had a bit to do with it. Trembling I felt the sleep-warm arm sling around my middle and pulled me into a warm lap.

"What is it, my dear?" I heard the fully-alert question in my ear as I steadied my breath.

"That was the single-strangest sensation I think I have ever registered." I answered breathing in through my mouth and out my nose to lower my heart rate. "It was like butterflies moving and it was so fast but I woke up over it."

"Ah," Elrond replied kissing my shoulder as he rested a hand along my middle lightly, "The baby has grown enough for you to be able to sense it's movements, that is what you are feeling." He clarified with a chuckle.

I elbowed him lightly as I relaxed partly eased into the gesture as he leaned backward to settle for a bit more rest. "I was just startled, a first of many I think related to this stage of the pregnancy."

"That sensation will get stronger as the baby grows," Elrond reminded me as he smoothed my hair down away from his nose, "My dear, a kitten in the wild jumps at every sensation and sound. You are a safe wild kitten, you need not jump at everything new."

"I know," I sighed settling into his chest as I could see him settle his arms around me and both hands rested on my middle over the blanket. I felt the queer butterfly-like sensation and jumped again as his fingers stroked just that place.

"Someone has decided to be active this very early, hmm?" He was amused but not so much so that I couldn't feel him shifting to calm my jittery nerves, "And you being anxious is not helping our little one." He reminded me as he slid backward to a reclining position, "Time for all three of us to rest again." He murmured as I rolled to be resting with my head on his chest.

After a few minutes of my fussing and shifting I heard the soft murmur of a song, lullaby really that I was certain was in Elvish but I didn't quite understand the words. The meaning and the intent I did however as the low, smooth sound of his singing even without the support of a flute or harp began to lure me into relaxing one soft note at a time.

A few hours later, I stirred to the same sound coming from the bathing-room which meant it was nearer to the sunrise that often met his morning rituals. I laid awake listening for a long time, just enjoying the sound of Elrond's voice over the gently moving water in the other room. His mood was light, it seemed and there was a sense of contentment that I could not deny was in the gentle sound. Unlike Elrond, whose sense of duty left him perennially busy with both the mundane and the unusual as head of a realm, I was not in any hurry to get up and start my day. Few sights were as pleasant for me at least as watching him emerge slightly ruffled from the bath and not yet the collected, put-together individual that almost everyone else saw. I enjoyed the sight and the very slight smirk as he turned toward his wardrobe to ferreting out something that suited his mood. It was a unique vantage point, laying relaxed in our bed watching him begin placing the layers both physically and emotionally, even mentally around himself as a shroud covers the dead. Little by little I watched the relaxed, content being rebuild himself as the formal, slightly stiff elven-lord that those from outside would meet.

"What are you thinking of?" Elrond inquired without looking up from lacing the boot he had just pulled onto his foot.

"Nothing in particular," I answered rolling to one side to study his expression with a smile, "I could nearly see your armor going up around you is all."

"What do you mean?" He asked pulling on the second boot and beginning to lace it as he spoke.

"You are guarded as well, every day, placing in plain view the image you want to be known for." I pointed out as I made my way to a sitting position after a moment more of laying on my side, "Mine is verbal mostly - a sharp tongue and a wild temper keeps people at bay. You, my love have not that liberty to be a viper-tongued individual because every day someone comes to you seeking advice, assistance, medicine or for business related to Rivendell's trades. You have to be calm, collected and unflappable; which means that in trade you have to be able to control your reactions, I have even sensed when you were losing ground on your temper and dialed it back." I smiled gently, "Which is also why once or twice a week you head down to the weapons room and thrash the stuffing out of the spear-dummies."

"That negativity needs to be used in a constructive manner," He agreed slowly as he stood righting the lighter robes, this particular set in a brilliant blue that highlighted the strong coloring and, in my opinion the mixed heritage he had. "You are also not one to point fingers at destroying the dummies." He replied making a face at me through the reflection on the mirrored glass as I stood up.

"Hey, I'm the first one to say that I can kick the stuffing out of a dummy in no time flat in the right mood." I agreed with a laugh, "Though I have to admit, to you at least I can, there is nothing more emotionally satisfying than destroying something that harms no one in the process."

"Such violence you have still in you." There was a faint trickle of amusement in his voice as he reached with one hand for the hairbrush sitting neatly on the vanity to begin brushing the snarls out of his hair.

"And this still surprises you?" I inquired with a light laugh getting up out of the blankets and began rummaging for something to lay out on the bed for after my stop in the bathing-room.

"No, my dear it does not." Elrond answered pulling the ends of his hair into one hand and began running the brush through it as he spoke, "Though, I am surprised you have only been difficult with the guard's insistence in being around."

"They're only doing their job." I pointed out reasonably, shedding my sleeping gown in order to begin pulling on that day's choice of a lightweight cottony tunic and loose pants and smirked at his look, "I'd wear one of those infernal dresses but they don't fit around the middle anymore with the fancy lines in the trunk area."

"Perhaps you might see if Nikki needs clothing or material for the children's clothing?" He suggested, knowing how much I detested going to the seamstress's shop.

"I am sure the way those children grow she probably does." I answered thoughtfully pulling on my shoes, "And I would like to get to see her anyway before I have a hard time getting around on my own."

"You worry far too much," Elrond's admonishment was gentle, affectionately spoken as his arms wrapped around my shoulders, "It will be some months yet before movement is truly hampered by the baby's growth."

"So says the one who can touch the top shelf of any cabinet he wants," I remarked with a sigh, "But that is all right, I can always get someone to retrieve anything I need or want. Currently I don't want to go see the seamstress but if I don't now I won't have anything that fits in another couple of weeks."

"First, breakfast." Elrond answered with a small smile guiding me out of the door and secured it behind him., "Since every time you pass on even something light first thing in the morning you are unwell until the late afternoon."


	83. Chapter 83

/Author's Note: No I didn't vanish off the face of the planet - I became very busy the last few months with going back to school for my graduate studies. Also, please be aware that this chapter has some content that may offend some readers. If you think you are one such please don't read. -silentdovesong

Chapter Eighty-Three

"Erestor, you know that I am making a very valid, very practical point." Elrond's tone was patient, calm and quietly deadly as his gaze leveled Erestor's unwavering stare. "I refuse to live my life - or ask Raina to live hers - in the shadow of the weighty maybe of an attack that has not come, nor might ever happen. It is difficult enough watching her pull away day by day from the activities that once brought her joy. In fact, the only reason I see her is because her bed is mine!" There was a rising level of agitation in Elrond's voice, and that tone drew the calm advisor's attention away from the letter he had been reading.

Sighing deeply, the dark-eyed elf set the parchments down on his work desk and turned in the chair to study Elrond appraisingly, and recognized the stubborn set to the other elf's jaw. Elrond did not often put his foot down with his oldest friend, particularly because it was rarely needed, he was beginning to recognize the fact was that Elrond was not going to budge on his stance. Furthermore, the greater Raina's agitation the greater Elrond's stubborn streak would prove to be. "I do know, and as your friend I agree with you - getting away from the constant scrutiny and rather intense following of the guard will definitely improve her disposition. As your advisor I am required to tell you that it is foolish, and risky to both of their lives."

Elrond smiled thinly, having expected that very response from the practical-minded advisor. "I might remind you that being an expectant mother has not dimmed the kitten's reflexes nor dulled her claws." He smiled faintly and rubbed absently at his shoulder where an entirely practical lady's slipper had been hurled at him by the aforementioned kitten just that morning.

Erestor caught the faintly amused look and smirked lowering his voice to only be heard by Elrond not the younger she-elf passing by the door, "So was it the right slipper or the left she threw at you this morning?"

"Both," Elrond's laughter was barely smothered by his tone and the serious expression, the light to his eyes however was not dimmed by his tone "The right followed the left."

"Her aim improves." Erestor chuckled softly catching Elrond's fist in his hand, "And my lord's skills yet need work."

"We shall return in the afternoon of the fifth day." Elrond replied quietly as he lowered his hand knowing that getting away was just what would brighten Raina's recently darker mood and temperament.

"Did I miss something?" I asked as Elrond passed the package to the groom who was expertly settling it into the saddle bag.

"No, my dear you did not. We are going on a trail that will take us far enough from the main city that I think it prudent we spend a few days there before returning." Elrond answered smiling at me with the pleasure of someone who had the world well in hand, "A respite is in order since the weather is holding firm."

"Sounds like a fair and fine thing, will it be a private affair or are we getting extra shadows?" I asked a bit more peevishly than I had intended to, blinking as Elrond shook his head in answer.

"I did not request one." Elrond replied mildly, parrying the blow that had been aimed at his pride with some effort. "Nor did I think you would consent to one."

My narrowed gaze was more than ample answer as the groom was settling the last of the packages into the saddlebags before turning to assist Elrond in mounting the horse before offering his hand to me. It was almost like being lifted and moved in the direction that I wanted to go, aided by his steady silent strength.

Riding was one of the few absolute freedoms I felt that I had. As far as the mount was concerned, I was a rider who needed and wanted to be carried. This was a warm and welcome change from the way I had been feeling about the elves in the broad sense. I relaxed as the horse moved to stand beside Elrond's, patiently waiting for further instruction.

I realized very quickly that Elrond had thought through the process very carefully, as the trail we were taking was not a hard one, but challenging enough that even I had to pay attention along with the mare whose steady gait was reassuring. "Where exactly are we going?" I asked after about three hours of riding, noticing that in no way was the path leaning even subtly back toward the main city grounds.

"There is a cabin, by a waterfall along the path of the Bruinen that we are going to visit for a few days while the triad of events are in line - you are not so uncomfortable that riding for over half a day is tiresome, the weather is agreeable and I am able to arrange my schedule so that I may take a few days to spend with my dear one. If the Valar smile, I may even be able to trim back her claws before she shreds everything in her reach."

I was momentarily taken aback before realizing that he was gently teasing. while pointing out how difficult I had been for several weeks. "I guess that would be the diplomatic way of saying I've been an impossible wretch."

"I daresay," Elrond's glance back to me was brief, the curve of his lips telling of his amusement, "You have merely been yourself, and others are over-reacting. Were you to truly desire to be impossible even you my dear would have to work at it."

_This is likely true,_ I conceded silently to myself as he turned his attention back forward again to watch the path as it wound nearer to the river and I could hear the water picking up speed along it. Strangely, as near to the river as we were, the woods were thickening as if to create a thick leafy barrier that would only allow sunlight to filter down from the heavens. Branches and leaves, and I noticed even a few trunks wound around each other, creating a sort of shield. _A shield against what?_ I wondered as we continued deeper, and I was sure the river grew nearer. Another two hours had passed and we were entering a wide glade with an obviously scaled, comfortable-looking cabin set back out of the way toward the river, which was cascading in a rushing waterfall so that the cabin looked as if the river protected it.

"I did not design this cabin, Lord Celeborn did." Elrond explained dismounting with an enviable grace before turning to offer me his hands in order to do the same, balancing me as I landed unsteadily on my feet, "I never did ask why he would request my permission to build here, in the shadow of Rivendell but not within the safety of it."

"I can understand that actually." I answered quietly looking to it as I did now that he said something, I could see the delicate touch of the argent lord of Lorien. I was fond of the elder elf, from the occasional conversations he and I had shared, and I knew too that the twins, and Arwen were each very fond of him as well. "Sometimes a man, no matter his race needs a place to retreat to. This is a haven for him." I continued looking over the surroundings. There was no garden, as was common among the elves - a plot tended with herbs and flowers and all manner of growing things which indicated that it was rarely used. "But why did you bring me here?"

"You have been wound up, and tense for weeks, which does our child no kindness my dear." Elrond's hands rested lightly on my shoulders as he pulled me the half-step backward to rest my back against him. "Here, there are no eyes but mine to soak in what you are, no judgment and the freedom to utterly relax." He answered quietly, steering me toward the small cabin.

Inside, it was not the rustic, hand-worn and hewn haven that Elrond's own cabin was. Rather it was, as Celeborn himself was, quietly elegant, with softer colors to match the mood. The furniture was not in a style I was familiar with, lacking the simplistic lines and forms of Rivendell's elegance nor the curving, swirling swoop that I remembered of Lothlorien. "Where did he come to be inspired for these pieces?" I asked Elrond quietly.

"I never asked," Elrond admitted quietly, "Though I can tell you when he asked of me for the permission to carve a place for himself." There was a flicker of pain across his eyes, almost muted enough that I couldn't feel it but I was too deeply ingrained in his nature not to know. "Fifty years after Celebrian sailed, he came to visit bringing with him again my Arwen and I knew something ached at his heart." Elrond's voice was soft with memory and hurt. "He was not himself, and I realized then while he allowed his wife the time she needed in order to grieve the loss, his kinsmen and guard also had the time; his own grief and pain he had buried and it was, much as his other losses had before; eating at his spirit." Elrond's voice remained soft, as we walked around and I was looking over the surroundings for a few moments before I sat down on the comfortable lounging couch watching him pace in silence. "Celebrian was not the first of the losses Celeborn has known - Doriath and all its joyous times, heartbreaks, and sunderings... his friends, family enough to break any soul I would imagine. And yet, he remained as I had known him, quietly strong," He smiled thinly, "Strong enough a personality to stand against both Galadriel and Nenya." He was, I knew referring to the Ring of Power the pale lady of the wood bore.

"I have always liked Celeborn, even though I do not know him as well as I would like." I said as Elrond took the break in his explanation to sit down moving my feet so that he could sit near enough to take my hand.

"When he came to me, at some faithless hour I was certain I was watching him self-destruct from the inside - his eyes were lifeless, hollow and he was painfully thin. I asked him what he needed and his answer was simple. He needed privacy, a place where the mantle could be cast from his aching shoulders, and he could be a father. One who had lost his only child." I could see still the hurt in Elrond's eyes, now soothed by passing of many years, yet it reminded me how deeply he felt about those who mattered to him. Briefly I wondered morbidly what he would say about me.

"Everyone should have a place to be in private, without prying eyes." I pointed out delicately even if my tone was ruined by the deeper sigh of relief as he loosened and pulled off first one of my riding boots and then the other setting them neatly under the nearby high-legged table.

"Especially high-strung kittens trying not to allow themselves to be caught in a web of social and emotional intrigue." Elrond replied resting his hand on my thigh as I yawned and let my eyes droop a bit. "Take a nap, it was a long ride out here, particularly with your condition and I will begin our evening meal."

The smell of food was nearly enough to lure me to wakefulness even as footfalls, as soft as a baby's padding hands on wood caught my attention and I was looking up to see the slightly smiling elf looking down at me. "You have long enough to make yourself a cup of coffee – or tea if you prefer tonight for I have only heated water knowing that you lately have preferred either one."

Rolling to a sitting position I yawned and shook my head, "Small cup of coffee and then we'll see from there. What's for the evening meal?"

"I thought something milder after the long day – bread and spreadable cheese along with a bit of meat." Elrond explained directing my attention to where he had already arranged the majority of the fixings on the large platter that was centered on the table along with a pitcher of cider as well as his customary glass of wine that was nestled near one of the plates.

"It appears you thought of just about everything." I answered with a small smile up at him as we walked together toward the table and sat down.

"I did my best to think of everything possible." Elrond answered pulling the chair out for me to sit down on and kissed the top of my head suddenly. "Here we both can relax and forget about the daily minutiae that leaves both of us with so little time to spend together."

"It was one of the things I had to accept before we could arrive even at this step." I answered beginning to serve both of us some of the sliced bread and put the tray of cheese between us.

"You have made far too many concessions already." Elrond answered passing me the rounded knife for the cheese, his tone gentle but firm. "I have not made enough attempts at compromise on my end of this relationship."

"Elrond," I murmured spreading the cheese on a slice of bread carefully, "I was wise to the fact that I would be the one who would have to be the reed in the wind, for the oak cannot."

"Even the reed cannot withstand the hurricane eternally." Elrond protested gently as we were eating while discussing the matter. "Your well-being remains one of my topmost priorities, not only because of our child but because you are invaluable to me."

_Which is why you threw convention to the wind in this handful of days of a holiday._ I realized with a small surprised look blinking at him, "I assure you it will take a good bit more than a little conflict to break my spirit."

"My dear I know that, by the stars I know that better than nearly anyone." His concern was apparent, "I also know that stifling that spirit is just as unhealthy as breaking it. You are miserable, it shows in the little things from your appetite, to your temper even the activities you enjoyed you are not partaking in."

"Well you asked me not to." I pointed out placing one hand over my middle protectively as he shook his head.

"In fairness, I cannot argue that point aside from the fact that I only asked that you did not spar. I can understand why you would interpret that differently."

"That and I really, really despise having a shadow all the time I am not in the suite." I replied archly, "Women have been bearing children since the dawn of time - without such neither of us would be here."

"It is not the baby precisely that has the guard on edge." Elrond replied slowly picking up his glass to take a sip of its contents. "Someone has seen fit to threaten your lives and as such until they are routed out, even Glorfindel has conceded that you must be protected. Now," He paused and brushed a bit of hair back behind my ears the gesture as natural and instinctive as my light bat at his hand, "For myself I am comforted by the facts that you are in good physical shape, and of a steady countenance and balance during confrontations."

"And you still allow the shadowing to continue." I answered mildly, trying vainly to keep the accusation out of my voice.

"If it were anyone but Belinniel I would have put it to an end until I was certain that the time was right for you to need the extra protection. You do not need it now, that I can agree on, however a sudden change is more difficult for some of the less understanding to fathom." Elrond answered delicately, "One thing I think might ease the annoyance for you would be perhaps to consider becoming friendly with Belinniel. That alone might assist in the deterrent given that she is; much as Erestor is mine, Glorfindel's left hand."

I had been so focused on the fact that I had a shadow, that I had not considered the idea of befriending her. "I will take that into consideration." I conceded knowing that Elrond was being as delicate as he dared with the ideas.

"Please do, I think you both may be pleasantly surprised by the result thereof." Elrond smiled slightly as we finished our plates and lifting his glass he gestured to the door. "We can continue this discussion outside, no sense in missing a sunset together."

Within a few minutes of the two of us stepping out onto the small porch the sky turned a brilliant reddish gold that washed the water, the grasses and even the trees in the deep hues that turned swiftly to the purpling dusk. Twilight had become one of my favorite times of the day, in part because it often heralded the end of the "day" and with it the restrictions that I perceived were lessened. I was beginning to chafe under the bonds that only I could see and feel.

The water, normally a clear and crystalline blue was awash in the burnished golden hue that reflected into many little rainbows skittering across the surface. I was absorbed in the image and the colors, even the feel of the still moment, a moment broken intermittently by the call of a bird seeking his mate for roosting . Even that sound did not draw me out of the warm moment and the near-hypnotic glimmer of it. I was vaguely aware off the brush of fingers on my neck and across my shoulders luring my attention slowly away from the deepening colors.

Instinctively my hand batted at the tickling fingers as if it were an annoyance no more important than a fly on a horse's behind. Elrond's soft laugh blew over my head lightly and the fingers returned to press against my neck and shoulders sometimes down my back clearly seeking my attention. "There," Elrond murmured, catching my hand in his as I swatted lightly at him, only to bend to bring my hand to his lips lightly kissing my fingers, "I wondered if I had trimmed the claws too much."

"Claws grow," I replied mildly smiling as the sky deepened to the rich purpling dusk of early evening. "And mine grow back sharp."

"I would not wish you any other way." Elrond replied mildly as the night grew chilly. "Come inside, I will build us up a fire and we can relax before it," He offered, naming one of my favorite activities when there were no pressing tasks before either of us especially in the evening.

_ Phaedos in my dreams was almost always before the Breaking as I thought of it and the dream was no different. It was a sea of green hills, lush meadows, and rich forests within which my tribe had made their homes. I was walking through it, slowly and I heard the steps of someone behind me and my heart skipped a few beats as often had I been ambushed by Soleil or Camtamin in the waking world. I picked up my pace heading to one of the many clearings where I could draw out the shadow behind me._

_ Instead of Camtamin, or even anyone else from that part of my past, Elrond appeared in the clearing's edge between two tall lushly green trees, dressed as I most vividly remembered him, the long, layered robes and his hair styled back away from his face, highlighting to my eyes the clear ageless grey color of his own. "You are dreaming, Raina what is this place?" He looked around with a concerned look on his face._

_ "I come here sometimes, to remember my home as I want to remember it, as wild as it was beautiful." I answered him as the skies overhead began darkening, causing me to twitch knowing that the dream was going to turn stormy in a very rapid pace._

_ "You are frightened," Elrond took a single step forward and extended his hands, palm up in a gesture that was aimed and was understood to be one of understanding and of peace. The gesture was split by the loud roll of furious thunder as the world darkened, and the ground shook beneath both of our feet. "My darling, why do you return here in your dreams when this place causes you such pain to remember? Why, why do you continue to punish yourself?"_

_ "I failed them, I couldn't protect my friends; and they were adults when they were killed." My voice quivered as I put my hand protectively over my middle, where I could just feel the life continually growing and becoming stronger. "What makes me think I am strong enough now to raise any child?"_

_ Elrond dared the last steps across the green void between us and I looked up in time to find myself being lifted gently, if firmly to be eye level with him, complete with the firm grip under my rear for balance. "You are not the same woman you were here in this place, Raina. The woman you were here was hardly bigger than a juvenile child, thrust much too soon into an adulthood that you were not prepared for. The woman you are now, is a woman I have the distinct honor of keeping at my side. Some might consider you the protector, my dear however you are the protected as well. I will not abandon you, nor allow you to be cast aside for your faltering mistakes." He kissed my forehead, a gesture as innocent as the touch of a child yet it sent shivers down my spine as if I had been gently shocked. Seeing my wide-eyed, startled look the smile was genuine and soft as I was pulled closer and the warmth of his body near mine began chasing the chill of the dropping temperatures away._

_ The world spun as I buried my face into his shoulder, in the soft, familiar-smelling hair and skin clinging to the familiar person as I felt the world settle again. Daring to lift my head, I saw that the place he had opened for us was a familiar setting of the nearby river outside the cabin we were staying at. The sun was shining overhead, through a thin gauzy cloud that softened the harsher glare of the light. "This is better, is it not?" The low murmur of sound was tickling my neck as my eyes focused on the space._

_ "We are together, that is always better." I answered softly burrowing into the warm robes with a quiet sound._

_ "Even apart, we are never far from each other." Elrond's quiet murmur tickled my neck as the sun warned my back and sides with the lightly diffused intensity compliments of the gauzy clouds._

"Drift," I heard the word in my ear, barely more than a whisper and rolled in response closer to it as the word held in it a fuzzy, comfortable and safe feeling that was as familiar as it was luring. I was aware of the feel of lips on my shoulder leaving a soft, warm trail across to my neck drawing a small sound as I settled into the blankets sighing. Elrond's hands slipped slowly, almost feathering across my skin, not needing to do more that to draw small circles and stars along the warm surface. I could feel the heat of the sun, hazy and warm along my skin as my mind slipped along the clouds aware of his touch, the scent of him across my skin and senses. "Drift," I heard the murmur in my ear again as I slipped deeper into the cozy warmth of the doings, trembling lightly as he would be caressing my side gently letting the padded tips tickle it but also stirring my senses.

"I am asleep." I muttered curling then on my side aware of the fact his hand slipped down to rest on my hip kneading it temptingly as I began to, in my sleep-fuzzy head realize what particular mood he was in resting under the warm sun and near the tumbling waterfall.

"Of course you are." Elrond's murmur was amused and I felt lips caress the back of my neck eclipsing the feel of the warming sun on my skin. "I like when you sleep." He continued with a softer caress that curved around my hip to brush the inside of my thigh drawing a soft murmur of sound from my lips. What else his hand was doing, I didn't want to think about, instead I focused on the feelings attached to them as I rolled lightly into his palm.

Sighing deeper I burrowed into the grass and the blanket I had been resting on, slinging an arm to protect my face from the tickling grass and settled there as his hand slipped up over my chest and settled there with a gentle kneading touch. "Maybe not sleeping so much."

"But comfortable," The tickle of raven-dark hair sliding across my shoulder lightly preceded the appearance of his face before mine which was bending forward to bite lightly into my lower lip with a nearly silent sound.

"Mm," I answered softly as I realized the hand left unaccounted for had its own sneakier purpose in guiding me to being resettled on my back looking up rather than into the blue sky but into a pair of smiling grey eyes. I shifted just enough to wrap my arms around his neck and pulled his weight down, resisting the upward jerk as he half knelt over me. "I am not going to splinter into a thousand pieces."

"No, that you have proven time and again." He answered against my lips as the light, nearly sheer emerald summer dress I had been wearing that particular day rode up on my hips, in part due to the fact his hand was wriggling free of being between my back and the ground and it dragged the material with it.

What I realized belatedly was why the hand wriggled out from under the small of my back, that it would be only to coax its way between my thighs and the feel of his fingers probing with the curious touch that traveled from my knee to stop along softer skin. I whined an instinctive protest when his fingers sought to skitter away like a nervous spider trying to catch his hand to place it back on the original path it had been taking.

I had forgotten that Elrond had long ago mastered the fine art of teasing, in part because of the schedule that had him up often before the sun and me currently dozing for several hours through lingering morning sickness. That memory rushed back to me as I felt his fingers run up my inner thigh and the soft tickle of fingers dancing along them gently so that my mind began lightly spinning. I was aware of the soft upward slide trembling as the sensation became lighter and more tingling.

Every breath held in it the warm tremble of longing and I sensed when Elrond's guard so often steadfast and firm lowered and the warmth of his emotions wrapped around mine as a silken blanket to fill the vulnerable places I did not realize I still possessed. My nerves drank in the feeling as if I were a thirsty man in the desert, barely aware of the union of our bodies even if the tell-tale wrap of his hand around the back of my neck amid the hazy, warm sun.

Time hung in the fragile balance between dreamlike and warm and tumbling along the hazy white clouds as he moved first the cradling hand to cup the back of my head and then the rest of his form moved second only heightening my sense of warm, very gentle claim. The only thought I could form was of how I felt about the warm touch of his breath now tickling across the side of my neck. I moved lightly into his form, only to be gently rewarded by the hand caressing my back only to grip my hip causing me to have to stop moving. "Allow me," There was insistent demand in the burst of breath even as teeth scraped along my earlobe, trembling as I nodded burrowing into his shape heedless of the gentle brush of his hand lower from the middle of my back to rest lower, pulling me nearer.

Patience was never one of my virtues, something lamented as much as it was extolled by those who knew me best, and in this case it was driving me to silent, sweet madness the act thereof. My attempts to motivate him into more than a slow, languid stroke were futile and ignored but for the lightest pat on my hand or on my hip encouragingly as I squirmed with the frustrating futility of trying to push him to move more quickly. Every attempt seemed, from my perspective to slow his movements, which only further set fire to my impatience.

Heat flooded every nerve when; after what felt like eternity of having every nerve and last fraction of an inch of my tolerance for the torment of his fingers and lips across even the most innocent of patches of skin he eased the level of frustration I felt entering me with the same dedicated slow pace that left me squirming for more. I felt his hand grapple for both of mine as I dug them into both of his shoulders tip-first the rewarding hiss of the stinging bite of my nails matching the loose, if steady grip. "Tiny pinpricks will not get you anywhere." The murmur was against my ear as I squirmed again insistently finding my hands caught and held between us by the firm grip of one of his preventing further small 'bites' of my fingers.

They might've not gotten me anywhere but the small nicks and scrapes had eased the brewing insistent storm building inside me. The same storm, I realized that Elrond was also fighting against in himself, in no small matter because I wasn't even trying to keep my guard up - not that I'd ever had much success against his ability to know. The first full glide sent sparks flying across my senses as he kept my hands pinned between my breasts. Belatedly, I realized why the warmth grew brighter as his fingers, the same ones I had thought busily keeping my hands caught a heartbeat before were splayed across my breast so that the lightest shift of his fingers tugged lightly at the peak of it. My breath caught in my throat as I felt his fingers dig in and the next glides sent spiraling all sense of reason into the reckless insistent madness of desire.

Trembling with the effort to contain and curb the insistent, pulsing throb of desire, even as each languid, patient glide, and touch did all to tear apart that very control on the surface keeping that same steady calm that had attracted me to him in the first place. Pushing Elrond to let that steady control go and forget even himself for a short moment, such as these was one of my life's little pleasures as I began encouraging in earnest to nudge and coax that control out of his hands, throwing the caution and consideration about the small growing spark of life to the winds.

I saw sparks the instant his impressive control slipped from his fingers and his frame slid with a released need that tore a deeper sound from my chest with it. I squirmed with the harsher slide and wrapped my limbs for my own comfort around his form, which in part hindered the depth which earned a soft protest from his lips, muffled as they were pressed to the sensitive place beneath my ear. Even as his control slipped there was the sense that he was still aware of himself, and his physical strength which far outstripped mine at my best still left me awed.

"Elrond, please." I was so far out of sorts that the words escaped in a breathless plea, leaving me to wonder what I was pleading for him to do, or not to do by then as the air was close around us and I was left trying to catch my breath again.

As was often the case I didn't have to know, because Elrond already did know what I was asking of him and why I was asking of him. Proving this, the insistent heat causing my blood to burn in need was stoked even higher with the next patient glides - how he could ride the crest of needful tides I couldn't fathom as I writhed and gasped clinging to him as the pace remained steady even if raising up more with each glide resulted in another more intense repetition of the last stealing my ability to think, to form sensible words and barely breathe before slowing both of our breathing again as I shivered cradled still united with him as I heard the soft chuckle and the kiss to the top of my head as I settled my head into the space between his shoulder and neck. "Nap, my kitten and afterwards we shall see about a meal."

_Darkness surrounded me, a suffocating, stale blanket as rancid as old milk left out in the sun. It was thick, oppressive and I couldn't breathe as I turned looking around in the circling pattern that I reverted to in order to cover my back and avoid the feeling of being watched too closely. I could smell smoke, and ash which meant there was somewhere flame and I didn't want, even in the dream to be caught among them. I felt the eyes and stifled the need to scream out as fire flashed brilliantly and violently before my face and sent me backward in the dream trembling and the shriek did escape as my back cracked painfully into the stone behind me and tears sprang into my eyes as the jab of it jarred my insides and the life I could just feel squirmed in protest to the growl of words "All shall serve or die!"_

_ "My child will live!" I screamed into the violent fire that sought to swallow me even as I curled around myself trying to protect the life in me even at my own cost._

The feeling of moisture pooling on my chest pulled me out of the restful slumber and the whimpered irked sounds uttered from Raina's lips had my attention from drowsy to alert. "Raina," I called to her trying to pull her out of the dream gently as I stroked my hand across her flushed forehead with one hand while pulling her as close as I could to me aware of the burning heat pouring off of her. "Raina, my dear wake up it is a dream." Relief flooded me as she responded to my voice on the end of the third call into her slumber to pull her out and away from whatever she had been dreaming; trembling and gasping for air as tears streamed. "What did you dream?" I probed carefully, watching as Raina's eyes cleared and focused on me.

"Darkness, not like night but true stifling, oppressive dark was everywhere and I was trying to find my way when I could smell smoke and ash and I don't mean fire-ash but hotter and it was vile on the tongue." She swallowed and I could feel her fear even while awake raise and threaten to pull her into the stronger tide as I let myself reach to calm her placing my hand on hers which was wrapped around her abdomen as if to protect not herself, but the new life still growing. "And as flame tried to take us I heard a voice growl the words 'All shall serve or die'." Her breath hitched slightly as I felt a trickle of cold sweat run down the back of my neck.

_That is impossible. He was vanquished long ago when Isildur cut the ring from his hand._ I tried to dismiss the thought that wiggled stubbornly at the back of my mind as I pulled her down to kiss her forehead soothingly, thankful that once awake and in control over herself the fear that had gripped her in a vice was broken apart. "I want to go home." I heard her whisper against my neck as the warm body wrapped near to my own and her lashes tickled my neck.

"Sunrise after tomorrow," I promised her softly as she settled and dozed, weakened by the fright as I let myself replay her words in my head coming repeatedly to the same conclusion. Raina was right, for all her relative unhappiness and frustration, Imladris; my hidden haven would protect her and our child the power of the Eldar still had that much sway in the world and for that I let myself be thankful.


	84. Chapter 84

Chapter Eighty-Four

It was a quiet unassuming round for the elven guard as she strode through the corridors listening to the morning-sounds of the city she loved and protected simultaneously. It was quieter than normal, given that Lord Elrond and Raina were both away for a respite outside of the city two mornings before. It had not been, in her mind the wisest decision to let them go alone, but it was not for her to say. However, that left her the time to ferret out the dissent and find out who it were that fostered such hate for a woman that was both infuriating and enchanting.

Turning the corner, Belinniel overheard the conversation staying well out of sight in order to determine what was going on. "No, I don't know what direction the bitch went, but it would have been a perfect opportunity to collect on the prize, given that I heard him say distinctly there were to be no guards whatsoever." It sounded human to her ears, but rough-edged and angry as if being accused of holding out.

The conversation shifted direction and into a tongue which set Belinniel's teeth on edge. Few tongues left a stain on the air the way the cant of thieves and murderers did, and this version was taken more closely from the black speech than made her comfortable. It also made her wish that she was not on her walk, and rather on patrol with her partner, to even the odds. Careful to keep out of sight she saw the scrap of linen, which was carved into with the tongue of the Black Speech and the words she saw were "capture and kill" but who she could guess though it was likely obvious enough.

"One braided lock of her hair will be enough to be his undoing." the feminine tone was seductive even as it twirled the words in the dark tongue.

Gritting her teeth, Belinniel reminded herself that both of them were more valuable, and useful alive. She was not the expert interrogator that Imladris had at its disposal, but her job currently would be to disable them enough to bring them to the dungeons and report swiftly to Glorfindel or Erestor whichever of the two chief advisors that could be found first. In the close confines, and the proximity to those who had no idea the hushed conversation was going on, let alone being overheard by one of the guards, she slid a set of throwing daggers from their holster along her thigh and let fly the first one, glad to see it found purchase in the thigh of the female who was already running for her life, ripping the dagger out as she ran casting it aside leaving Belinniel to taunt the man.

"Some companion you have, leaves you to rot in the dungeons." She intoned with a lightly malicious glee to her voice having a full picture of the woman's features in her mind as she rounded on the man.

"Wretched, stupid she-elf." The man hissed drawing his blade thinking all the guardswoman possessed would be her throwing daggers.

"That's the best you have? A paltry, petty insult that even the lowest scullery maid rises above?" She retorted in her lilting tone easily dodging the somewhat clumsy blow and sent him spinning on his feet with a swift kick in the lower back. What he did not miss was the contempt in her voice, and the anger that simmered silently underneath it as she ducked and then nearly was struck by the man's fist blocking it merely an inch from her jaw.

"No, but you will die for your interference." The man hissed advancing on the elf, even as her guard's cloak swirled and masked precisely her location with the elf's spin and appeared again a split-second later behind him the short dagger pressed seductively close to his throat, forcing him to frog march toward the dungeons where her goal was to disarm him of any weapons and leave him to rot until her superiors could make up their minds what to do with the criminal.

She had a good grip on him and as he lunged aiming for the suicide drop the elf spun him into a wall and began divesting him of all of his many weapons, the clang of each metallic snap of the weapons loud in her ears as she did. He had a small armory in his possession, she stopped counting at four daggers, a sword, a small crossbow and various others. Finding the linen scrap the elf hissed and tightened her grip on the back of his neck and dragged him to the first of the many empty cells and hurled him inside, knowing that if he were given opportunity he would kill himself rather than to tell anything.

"What are my crimes you miserable bitch?" He snarled snaking an arm through the bars taking aim at Belinniel's cuirass as she smiled darkly holding up the linen scrap.

"Conspiracy to kill the Lady Raina for a start, attempted murder of myself and," She cast a contemptuous look at the pile of weapons she had removed from his person, "Certainly intent to cause someone bodily harm within the boundaries of Rivendell city grounds. I hope you enjoy your stay as our guest in the dungeon." She was freezing cold on the inside, the kind of chill that left a woman needing a touch of a comfortable hand or a strong drink. Maybe both. She decided picking up the confiscated weapons to lock them in the appropriate boxes before hurrying out to find Glorfindel or Erestor. Stifling a sound as she looked at the scrap of linen that had fallen out of one of the man's pockets during her search, the same one she had seen, having the foul speech upon it whispering to herself the words careful to speak them in her own tongue.

"The body of the woman becomes the temple, the blood of the witch be the flame of death." She shuddered feeling her blood run cold and strong fingers cramp with her gripping fear. Falling prey to the crippling fear would not save the Lady, but swift action and planning amid the thickening plot might just prevent certain death.

"What is wrong?" Erestor's worried voice met my ears as Elrond pulled up his horse near the landing and dismounted and frowned at whatever expression Elrond had aimed at him before turning to offer assistance in helping me dismount as well.

"It was her desire to return to Rivendell." Elrond answered as I landed lightly on the ground at his side and I heard the quiet, decisive statement aimed at the other elf, "Inform Glorfindel and Belinniel that I wish a meeting before the evening meal tonight."

Erestor's gaze was suspicious and I could see that he was concerned and as I turned I caught the gesture, as innocent as merely tucking a renegade, wind-caught hair back behind his ear and I realized he had warned off whoever had been prepared to be following us. "As you wish, shall I let Nikki and her family know you have returned?"

I took the opportunity to answer turning toward Erestor with a smile, "Please do, I could use the energy rush of her and the children after the long day of traveling."

"That was not the response I anticipated," Elrond murmured quietly to me as we walked along the corridors to the quarters we shared and he opened the door to let me pass inside before him.

"It was no lie." I answered sitting down in order to take my riding boots one foot at a time. "I do want to see the children and they do give me quite a jolt of energy when I see them."

"That is because they thrive on sunshine and the food your sister makes for them." Elrond chuckled picking up both sets of riding boots and placed them on the shoe carousel.

"Well if there is one thing Nikki can do it is cook a hearty meal." I agreed settling into the chair relaxing in the sanctuary that was our own rooms. "It is good to be home again even if I did enjoy the time away."

"Getting away from the city and its stresses was certainly good for your health." Elrond agreed sitting down beside me, "Even if it did include a rather strange dream."

"I am certain that it was simply a dream, pregnant women often have very vivid dreams." I tried to be reassuring, though I did not know if he would accept my argument, "I heard a woman once say she had a dream her husband was cheating and she hit with her fist in the dream but it was her pillow in actuality."

"I hope you are correct," Elrond answered me and I could feel the wave of concern pour off of his nerves for a moment before that wave crested and faded, "However, what you described to me, and based off of your reactions immediately after, my dear I am deeply concerned for your safety."

"I am as well," I admitted quietly, "I am still working through the dent to my pride about having to have a guard, even Belinniel shadow my steps and at the same time I begin to understand it is not really my life she guards but the baby's."

"That is true," He admitted calmly, meeting my gaze, "You have proven more than once you are generally a capable fighter and you have a keen sense about your surroundings. That said, my dearest in absolute honesty one of the concerns is the habit you have demonstrated of a bit of recklessness with a life that is, to my people viewed as precious beyond measure. I know you are a capable and wise person, I have seen you after all herd your siblings into a sort of order that is at least reasonable and civilized if not rational."

On one hand I had to concede the point, I did have a serious tendency toward recklessness with my own life - how many times had I placed myself as a living shield between an enemy and my sisters, or my former teammates for that matter. On the other hand, my child was a gift I was not going to squander or allow anyone to take away from me. "I understand the sentiment." I answered as I put my feet up on the comfortable cushion of the lounging couch. "However, it has been a long day I think I am going to take a rest, debate what I want for an evening meal or the chef will think I have forgotten him in our respite." I said reaching for the blanket that was normally spread across the back of it for a cover-up as he leaned to kiss the top of my head.

"You do that, and I am sure he will indulge any whim you might have." Elrond answered standing up, "If you need anything I will be in my study, I want to catch up on the events of the last days with my advisors." I knew what he was implying was more than that, he hoped they had news over whomever it was that was making threats against me.

"Now, what causes you to return not only a day early, but insist on a meeting before you have even taken the time to clean the smell of horse from your body?" Glorfindel inquired as he and Belinniel arrived together and Erestor noted calmly that while his companion looked strained the she-elf was wearing her inscrutable, unreadable mask again. Something was most certainly amiss, if that were the case.

"Some might argue a bit of paranoia on my part," Elrond answered lifting the glass of water from his desk to take a sip from it shaking his head, "Or over-protectiveness because of my child, yet I know what I saw, and what I felt from Raina after a nightmare she had at the cabin."

"What was it?" Glorfindel asked, shifting to look directly at Elrond, whose nervous look was more apparent with closer scrutiny.

"Only those of us who knew Sauron's stench would know that his aura was smoke, and fire stronger than even lava." Elrond spoke softly, "She dreamed of it, and of the voice of him, with the assertion that, in her words 'All shall serve or die'... quite naturally Raina disagreed even in a dream before the flames sought to envelop her in them."

The other three elves looked as stricken as Elrond had felt during Raina's recount of the dream, "And by the fact that you are both back in Rivendell tells me that one or both of you did not handle this matter well." Erestor spoke calmly, drawing the grey gaze to him.

"It could be nothing more than her mind turning over the histories that she reads, in her spare time." Elrond tried to rationalize it, "And personalize them because there is such concern over the baby,"

"I do not agree." Belinniel said flipping the short throwing dagger end over end as she caught it each time, "We have all long known that for all the darkness in her life, Raina is every bit as much good and true as any elf, or elf-friend. No darkness would be able to resist the lure to extinguish that light, more so with the fact it would cripple the spirit of one of the elven Ring-bearers." Belinniel's voice did not betray the fear she still felt as she spun the bit of linen onto Lord Elrond's desk, "The man I found this upon is still in your dungeon my lord, awaiting your decision of his fate."

"You relieved a man of this piece of linen?' Elrond's voice was low, and in it could be heard the smoldering taint of temper; one that was slow to burn and even slower to cool once it had been set to burning.

"That is correct, not two days past." Belinniel replied looking the elven lord directly in the eye. "He is but a pawn in a greater game if you want my opinion my lord for he was not a particularly difficult individual to subdue and place in the cell."

"You are very likely correct in that assertion," Elrond spoke quietly and glanced to Glorfindel, and then to the other two assembled before him, "I have, in light of this bit of news reason to assert that there is a connection between this and the dream that Raina had that caused a very emotional response, to the point that Raina, who has been the first one to jump at any opportunity to not be in Rivendell wanted to return home." He finished calmly meeting their eyes individually.

"What do you propose we do then, if one takes the stance that there really is a connection between those stalking Raina and Sauron?" Glorfindel asked as Elrond's brow furrowed in a way that told each of the three that he was thinking very carefully.

"We tread carefully, keep our eyes open and utilize all of the tools at our disposal." Elrond answered carefully, "I do not like the idea of her being alone, though for her sanity and everyone else's," He amended with a groan pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers trying to stave off what promised to be an excruciating stress-related headache, "Some level of solitude is necessary."

"In that case," There was a gentle, but certain rebuke in Belinniel's voice looking between her superiors with a look that said she was stating what was to her, at least very obvious. "You are all overlooking a very obvious choice in guards for the Lady."

"What are you talking about?" Glorfindel looked at her with an interest that spoke of a respect, and a curiosity over what she meant, given that under most circumstances, such matters were generally left in his hands.

"No one in Rivendell is going to look sideways at Raina spending time with her sisters." Belinniel pointed out lifting the dagger from the desk where she had set it down to reveal her foul parcel and flipped it end over end to catch it by the hilt easily. "If said sister is a capable, trained guard all the better for our collective peace of mind."

"Before you shoot down the idea Glorfindel, listen to what I have to say." Erestor broke in before the Seneschal could protest, "Belinniel brings up a very good point on so many very obvious levels. Most obviously, Nikki has raised personally from birth to current age two energetic and entertaining children; Secondly Nikki has some experience in battles, so bloodshed and that ilk is not going to send her screaming for the hillside; and I think she has the potential to be a greater asset toward not only her family but our city's defenses of one of our own."

"It would certainly throw a curve into the plan of anyone who would conspire against Raina." Glorfindel acknowledged thoughtfully as he caught the blade in mid-air and set it down as the sound of the whistling 'singing' had become annoyingly distracting for him. "As any adversary is going to anticipate someone like Belinniel, not a bubbly-natured cheerful blonde human."

"Oh I am keeping to my duties," Belinniel answered him with a small smile, "I am merely returning to my shadows and letting another be the obvious decoy guard. I do not anticipate much, if any resistance from Nikki who seems to forever yearn for a purpose in her life here."

"Can you teach her is a more fitting question," Elrond asked her as a plan began forming in his mind.

"If Nikki is as willing to learn as I believe she is, I am certain that she can be taught the more subtle traits of such a post." Belinniel looked to Erestor for confirmation, knowing very well that the seemingly mild-mannered advisor was in actuality much more.

"I find it interesting, that you all come to this conclusion now." Erestor spoke slowly with a small, almost feral smile crossing his lips, "One predator knows another, and the only way to shelter one is to find another willing if not capable to go toe-to-toe with it." He considered it a moment, "However, if you are asking my opinion of whether or not Nikki is a wise choice, I would say she is the only logical choice; wisdom on the other hand would place Belinniel in her stead."

"Actually, I do not agree with that." Elrond spoke up thoughtfully his gaze serious, "Nikki has several advantages to her being at Raina's side, not least in the immediate days and weeks of the child's birth. But, in the fact that any adversary is going to see her as a woman, and not the trained eyes and ears that I expect you three will hone in order to allow all our nerves a more peaceful day."

"Of course, do you have any preferences?" Glorfindel slid into the more comfortable role, even as his eyes kept returning to the linen staining the center of the desktop.

"Small, sharp, easily concealed weapons. A ranged weapon would be ideal but not necessary." Elrond considered it carefully, "And her hand to hand combat skills need to be honed, given that any assailant is not guaranteed to strike only from a distance."

"Given that the man I placed in the dungeon had very little in the way of a ranged weapon I would say that her knowledge of how to defend against most martial weapons and hand-to-hand is going to become crucial in the immediate future." Belinniel mused softly, "And it will be an experience to work with Nikki given that while she has the same drive as Raina, but a different skills set."

"And lacks the extensive training." Glorfindel nodded, "Or more precisely she lacks the depth of training that Raina has put herself through."

"Raina's physical training was born first out of culture," Elrond broke in leaning on his desk subtly shoving the hated piece of linen farther from his person with a an extended fingertip. "And her continuation and depth of it was bred out of a desire to live, preferably peacefully."

"If you require assistance in this project, do let me know." Glorfindel turned toward his lieutenant with a smile, "It will be a pleasure to get to see this progress."

"So you wanted to see me?" Nikki appeared in the garden where Belinniel sat appearing to idly read one of her leaflets of papers looking up at the woman's approach.

"Yes I did, and I am glad you came." Belinniel said gesturing to the seat next to her and straightened to cast an appraising look on the younger woman.

"Like I could quiet my curiosity otherwise." Nikki sat down and studied the guard, blue eyes just as appraising on the elven guard. "But if you're calling me here, out of the way and even away from my family it must be important."

"It is." Belinniel decided leveling with Nikki was a wiser decision than to try to dance around the issues. "You are aware of the threats that are being made against your sister," As Nikki nodded she continued, "As such, we have been seeking a way to appease her independent nature while easing Lord Elrond's worries over her safety. I was one such resisted attempt," There was a note of amusement in her voice as she continued, "As such, I feel it is best for me to return to my shadows and watching and leave the obvious to another better suited not only to the need, but the temperament of your sister."

"Me, but I've got maybe a fraction of the training one such as yourself has." Nikki protested, "And I'm so out of shape after the kids..."

"A body never forgets what it was conditioned to do." There was a rebuke in Belinniel's voice as she eyed the woman, "You and I are not so different, only you allowed your fighting spirit to be diminished, into what your culture impressed upon you. The question is, young lady if you are willing to be what you, like your sisters were born to be."

_A warrior._ Nikki realized the words were hanging in the air between them, it was a chance to become what she longed in her secret dreams. To be able to feel worthy to stand beside her sisters rather than the black sheep she felt like but instead the equal. "And why me, why not someone like Destiny who's clear-headed or Willow who doesn't give up?"

"A better question, Nikki is why you do not think you are deserving. Raina trusts you - you said yourself when she was vulnerable, broken upon her return to your world she stayed with you." Belinniel reminded her, "A healing warrior does not retreat to a place that they do not feel safe."

"I always attributed that to Tommy, I mean he's led more teams than I did." Nikki protested as Belinniel laughed quietly.

"Dear child if I lived my life thinking a man was the only one qualified to do my job I would not have the post I beat out a hundred elves to have. If I did not believe the fire was in you, not your husband I would not have asked you to meet."

"Now you sound like my sister." Nikki answered slightly stung but it had stoked a fire long diminished to embers. "Do you think there's enough time to get me at least trained enough before she really needs either of us?"

"It will take co-ordination, and co-operation from those around you." Belinniel warned with a chuckle, "And someone fixing his own lunch at least."

"He's a big boy if he can't figure out how to heat water then he's out of luck." Nikki retorted smiling, "Or he can go try to charm one of the kitchen staff into helping him out."

"Come with me then, we need to get you a few pieces of equipment for practice. Of course, your children can come along if necessary it would do Amanda well to see that there is more for her than the hearth." Belinniel said getting to her feet, glad to see that the fire she saw banked in Nikki's eyes beginning to turn to glowing embers ready to burst to flame.

"Belinniel, my dear you have not torn asunder those new leggings already have you?" The astonished greeting met the elf's ears as she walked into the shop followed by a nervous Nikki.

"Oh, no the leggings are just perfect, they are exactly what I hoped they would be." Belinniel said reassuringly, placing one hand on Nikki's shoulder, "I actually came here seeking your assistance in outfitting a new trainee." Though she used the known language the pointed look that she cast at the shopkeeper told the woman that there was more to it than met the eye.

"You'll be needing then gloves, jerkin, leggings and working socks. And you will have to get Anadrian to make her boots those feet will never fit into my standard boots." The woman rattled off and eyed Belinniel, "Are we talking shades or no?"

"I will speak with Anadrian once you have finished with the measurements you will need." Belinniel said noticing Nikki's discomfort, "Everyone gets a training gear and a proper set for what will be needed. And that includes boots that fit perfectly."

Nikki's eyes widened, having priced them out for Tommy and knew what that would be as a fee, "There is no way I can afford that." She protested as the she-elf smiled.

"It is part of the appreciation shown by the guard that a need will be perfectly met." She said eying Nikki with a stern look, "And I should not like to see you fall on your nose defending yourself because your boots do not fit as they are supposed to."

Properly chastised Nikki flushed brightly as the other began taking a variety of measurements and dutifully followed the directions for the next hour and a half. After which time she spent the next three hours dodging, flipping and landing on every possible angle, and body part possible; overheated and sweating when to her utmost annoyance just as Raina did, Belinniel looked not at all tired, and in fact looked as if she had not even broken a sweat. "You know that's so not fair. You and Raina both look like warrior princesses in these moments and I look like the brothel-maid on a busy night." Nikki complained as Belinniel helped her back up on her feet.

"I also have spent the majority of my life training or in some form of patrol." Belinniel reminded Nikki, smiling nonetheless. "You have spent the last ten of yours being a mother, a noble task in itself but it has consumed you and you have allowed yourself to become a shadow of what you were, and what you still are."

Nikki sucked in her lip over her teeth and nodded reluctantly, it was not an unfair statement, but once more the she-elf had stung her pride slightly. "I know, and it's going to have to be enough at first that these practices are during the children's lessons or riding training because they have to be a priority."

"And they are good children, which is an added benefit because there is a universal love of children among my kin." Belinniel chuckled smiling, "And I know for a fact the chef that so favors your sister is itching to get his hands on the children to teach them his tricks as well."

"Mandy would be delighted, she loves helping me as you saw and it would do Cayden well to see other people cooking besides Mama." Nikki smiled, cheering at the thought. "Especially since I don't have a hundred years to learn these things." She said gesturing to the discarded, scattered practice blades.

"You will have enough time." Belinniel said reassuringly bending to help Nikki pick them up and then put them in the appropriate locations. "You have a knack for the skills and your muscles remember what your body does not. The difficulty will be the fact you think too much. Come, after a workout like that you need a meal and we can keep talking over what needs to be done while we eat."

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes familiar with the quickening sensation in my middle which prompted me to place one hand over the place reassuringly. My child, I realized was doomed to the same fate of both sides of his or her heritage; to be sensitive of the mood and temperament of those near and not-so near. "We are well you and I." I murmured even though I was not sure that the baby could actually hear me or not. "A bath, to ease tired muscles and then we will go convince the chef to make us those éclairs you are so fond of." I swung my feet off of the side and stood up yawning as I heard the water running already in the bath. I didn't remember hearing Elrond come in, but then as deeply as I had been sleeping one could probably have dropped a fireball nearby and I wouldn't have known better.

Slipping inside the door I paused to appreciate the silhouette that his form made in the steam of the running water. While arguably he had traded his weapon for the quill his body had remained trained and athletic, something I had always appreciated and now more so as he was as unguarded as he was naked under the spray of water. To say a male was beautiful, would be unfair I reasoned yet to me 'handsome' was not a fair statement in relation to any elf least of all him.

"You are woolgathering while the water cools." Elrond's voice held in it the light tease as his face appeared out of the steam to smile at me, "And the bath will wake your mind up before we venture together to get something to eat."

He was right about that, I realized as I slid under the spray a few minutes after shedding my traveling clothes and the heat of the water surrounded me, at a safe temperature for the small life as well for my comfort. The sharp scent of mint filled my senses and left me momentarily breathless as his long fingers massaged my temples rubbing the soapy suds into my hair and the murmur came quietly surprised, "Why did I not notice just how long this is becoming?" The words were hardly more than a murmur but he held the soaked strand out so that I could see that my hair had grown almost to the point it had been when I had cut it before and I could feel his pleasure in that knowledge. "You slowly heal the scars body and mind, those on your heart and spirit we will continue to heal together." He said as he pressed his lips to my temple and left me to finish my bath in quiet contemplation.

For the first time in many years I had no compulsion to take the nearest blade sharp enough to slice through it at my shoulders as it had been since I was old enough to realize that if it was that long Camtamin had to actually get close to use it like reins of a horse-halter to control where I moved. Finishing the bath, I wrapped myself in the warm, soft cotton bathing-robe and stared into the looking-glass wondering not for the first time who the person was looking back at me. I would have once run for my life, no I would have run for his life once, to protect him from the evil that Camtamin had been...

I rarely thought about him in concrete terms, he was for me what the boogeyman was for frightened children a specter, a ghost of my past now laid to rest in all areas but for the dreams and nightmares. He had been my father, by blood at least but certainly not in what he taught me; I was nothing more than a weapon, a tool to be used, however it was wanted and then cast aside until it was needed again. I was not of the same mind, and under his hand I didn't break, and I was proud of that, I had bent and I had suffered... My left hand covered a faded old scar on my shoulder where a glancing blow had landed, one that had aimed for my head.

I wasn't a lady, I lacked the smooth skin, the polite manners and the decorum of the nobles and yet... He loved me, for me just as I was before and as I was now. I would always be the warrior, the person looking for a cause to champion, a thing to protect. I wasn't going to change for anyone, and in fact I realized looking at myself in the mirror, noticing the soft swell of my abdomen and felt the tremble of fear and excitement that had become a constant companion in private moments. His child, who had found their way through me to a person I felt far more deserving than I to have the child. I loved this child, much as I loved Elrond because somewhere, some being wiser than me saw fit to give me such gifts to cherish and tend. I wasn't going to squander it, nor let anyone take it from me without a fight. "Whoever you were, to stalk me in my dreams better be ready because as I told one boogeyman before, if you think you're big enough; come and play." I murmured placing my hand once more over the flurrying activity in my belly, "You and me, my little treasure have a long way to go before we meet and I will see it through to the end, at whatever cost it might be." I promised not caring if the little being could hear me or not. I never break my promises without a fight.


	85. Chapter 85

Chapter Eighty-Five

A long elegant hand the color of bone china stripped off the ruined riding-dress and examined the long, shallow wound along her thigh. It was not going to require a healer's touch, which meant at least that she didn't have to explain why she had such an injury. The female guard, Belinniel had come far too close to discovering her identity that morning, a fact which needed direly to be handled and promptly because if she grew any closer the situation would spiral out of control. Not that it did not already teeter much too closely to spiraling out of control as it was.

Not one damn thing in many years had gone as she had schemed and set up the pieces and moved the game ahead as expected and the unfortunate events surrounding Celebrian's sailing some years before had been unexpected but such things could not be helped. In some ways that was to be expected since Lord Elrond had closed himself off from almost everything and everyone in his private life with the exception of his children and closest circle of friends, of which very few had been his wife's.

Cleaning the wound she hissed thinking of not only the guard, whose aim had nearly been her own downfall that day but the impetuous, completely inappropriate little female with far more nerve than any mortal had a right to have. Belinniel would be easier to deal with, given that accidents happened all the time not only in the field but in practices, surely that could be contrived and managed with a bit of careful planning in the next few days. With that particular issue settled, an accident would remove the troublesome guard from favor, and thus from the trajectory of protecting the quirky and irksome woman.

Nothing about the woman, Raina was appropriate. She was from the beginning completely unfitting, belonging to ironically enough the tragic race of men; she was not ladylike, and more importantly made few to no attempt to even begin to fill the role of a lady of such an important rank and position. Not even her clothing preferences belied the stance and presence of a lady, more often in the long leggings and tunics than in the more appropriate dresses, a fact which was both insulting and bewildering to the mind of the elf.

"I wonder if you even remember me you half-witted brothel-spawn." The voice was loud into the silence of the bath. "I certainly remember you."

Sinking into the bathwater, she exhaled strongly knowing that she had only a few hours before she would have to prepare for and execute a meeting with the Master, further damning herself in her own eyes. However, that moment was hours away and for now she was going to enjoy the opulence of her bath and dream of what would eventually be her life...

"Can I be of assistance?" Erestor's brisk, businesslike and almost bristling tone along with the irritated look on his face nearly sent the groom back to the stables without making his pitch.

"Actually, I am glad to see you and not Lord Elrond." The groom answered and after a moment Erestor recognized him as one of the senior grooms, and often tasked with caring for the horses owned by Elrond, his sons and more recently Raina's acquisition.

"Come in then." Erestor said moving to let the elf pass and closed the door as he sat down and Erestor leaned against the front of his desk looking down critically at the other elf.

"You do not have to confirm or deny the rumors we hear from time to time," The groom began quietly keeping his voice to a quiet murmur, "However those are your concern not any of mine. What is my concern is the safety of the horses and riders in my care." He said carefully choosing his words as he looked to the advisor, who was also Lord Elrond's most trusted advisor. "And, I am aware of the Lady's ...unique... temperament and I have come up with a possible solution which may protect her during a moment she is in crisis."

"What rumor have you heard that leads you to be thinking of possible solutions?" Erestor inquired looking at the groom with a careful, appraising expression on his face.

"Nothing I am sure that you have not heard, it is the same whispers in the dark that have been coursing through Rivendell for some time now." The groom answered smoothly, "However, it is my task to watch over and guide my pupils, guard and protect my four-legged charges and ensure that each are provided with adequate and also appropriate training in addition to their regular needs. I have been training Stormstriker personally, with the needs of the lady in mind; Erestor while Raina is a competent rider, in her upsets her emotions are as a wildfire in the plains." The groom smiled thinly, "I have been training him to both rein and voice command and the beast is exceptionally intelligent and a crafty devil." There was a note of pride in the elf's voice as he settled into the main idea he had. "Raina runs when situations become too stressful, and in light of any danger aimed toward the child she carries she will run, I am certain of it. She comes regularly to train with and ride Stormstriker, and he moves as if he were bred to carry her - no matter which gear we place upon his back he moves as if she were no heavier than the feathers on the wind." The groom saw the dawning of the idea he was leading to in the dark eyes of the advisor, "If we were to train him to carry her to a safe place in those moments it would serve two purposes, Erestor..."

"It would let her flee, and it would ease Elrond's mind of where she had gone..." Erestor murmured thoughtfully and looked to the groom now with very serious dark eyes, "The question is, will Stormstriker perform as you anticipate?"

"I would assert without question that Stormstriker will respond to the training exceptionally well." The groom affirmed with a small, satisfied smile, "He is eager and impatient to learn, though I daresay he has his mistress' dislike of the fancy trappings of decorative tack."

"Then make him something that looks like the decorative fluff and give it purpose." Erestor decided, knowing that like Raina herself, the horse had many sides to him and he had to appease both or the horse would rebel; and a willful angry beast was no easy beast to soothe.

"Anything else, Erestor?" The groom stood and looked to the other Elf and saw the quick, sharp and deadly smile on the elf's face.

"See that he learns quickly his tasks, I have some rather serious concerns over Raina's safety and I am not going to sit idly by and watch my friend suffer again a loss too soon."

"Oooomph!" Nikki grunted as Belinniel swept her off her feet and landed roughly on the firm ground and promptly had to block a blow from the practice sword and swung her foot at the she-elf's ankle in an attempt to sweep her off her feet and get the necessary time to get to her own. The attempt wasn't successful, however it threw the elf just enough off-balance that Nikki managed to grab not only her own wooden sword but get to her feet in time to block the next series of blows and launch a swift attack of her own.

Defending herself, Belinniel called out "Good! Harder, mean it!" she challenged realizing that the more she pushed Nikki the faster and more effectively she learned. Shoving the woman off-balance using the sword and her foot she grinned as Nikki countered it using her legs to wrap around Belinniel's thigh and utilize her momentum and the surprise to send both to the ground. "Excellent." Belinniel praised shoving the woman backward and grinned wider as Nikki rolled backward her sword already held to ward off an attack, "You are a quick one. You have been practicing."

"Tommy's been helping me." Nikki admitted as Belinniel offered her hand indicating it was a few minutes break to let her catch her breath and enjoy her victory.

Studying Nikki, Belinniel saw that the softer lines that had come into play from lack of activity were firming out and while the woman wasn't tall, she was holding herself steady and her head was up high. "It is good to hear that he supports you, he knows why?"

"Tommy knows me better than anyone, except maybe Destiny." Nikki agreed with a tired smile, "And when he asked I gave the direct answer to his question."

"Break time is over, back to practice." Belinniel said though Nikki had come to know the elf approved of the honesty displayed with her interactions with Tommy. "Now, we'll go with the daggers." She said and this time it was live steel and Nikki flinched at the realization, given that the blade sang as she pulled it from the sheathe. "You will pay even closer attention to your doings with live steel." Belinniel answered her unspoken question and launched a series of short demonstrations and worked ruthlessly with Nikki for the next several hours.

If working out with Raina was hard, Belinniel would have given Raina a run for her title of being ruthlessly perfectionistic, Nikki decided as her arms ached as if they would fall from her shoulders from the practice and it was clear that was when Belinniel was going to push her further. It was also then that Nikki finally lashed back not with her words but with a flurry of controlled attacks.

"Excellent!" Belinniel crowed dodging the blows with the elven-grace that had spared her many injuries, but a less-trained or competent combatant would have been pressed to do so. "You have learned well, and quickly." She praised with a grin "Now we eat and while I would love to break bread and entice your little lady to not be so much a lady," Belinniel chuckled louder at Nikki's snort, "It is your family night with your sister and her family, I will not intrude on that but I will see you next practice."

"I wish you would," Nikki protested and knew by the shake of the she-elf's head that she would be firm, "Then lunch later this week?" She offered knowing that the less-formal setting was often more relaxed and different people mingled at the tables.

"Lunch." Belinniel relented as they came to their parting, "You did well, and I assure you it will be noted."

"Sit, before I show you something." I knew that worried tone, it was the same one that had come before revealing about the child I carried and it prompted me to oblige him in sitting down in one of the comfortable chairs.

"What is the matter?" I asked as Elrond walked around his desk and picked up a scrap of something from his desk and passed it to me. My hand recoiled from the touch of the material in it and I almost couldn't touch the material despite the fact that I couldn't read anything that was scrawled onto the surface of it. "And what is this, some kind of sick joke?"

"Raina, this is no joke." Elrond's voice was quiet and serious as he drew my attention up to him, "Belinniel divested a prisoner of this not even a week ago, someone wants your life taken." His worry was apparent, "Not even the most clever of my sources have been able to root out more than the rumors even you have heard."

I was accustomed to having a Sword of Damocles over my head, I had lived for more years than not with one from Camtamin but this was actually seeming and indeed felt different. "I have faced the threat and taunt of my death before."

"That is true, you have faced that down before." Elrond agreed carefully before continuing after a brief hesitation, "Raina, that speech is the Black Speech." He said softly, his lowered tone revealing almost more than his words did. "Rare even in these days is the tongue even used."

"If you think I'm going to take this lightly, or laying down you are losing your famed touch." I returned with a small moment of incensed temper that I tamped down feeling the squirming reminder of the reason I tried to stay calm.

"I would be more concerned if you had an anxiety attack over it," Elrond answered taking my hands into his and rubbed them as if it would warm them, "I need to impress upon you the matter being quite dangerous because no one has been able to determine precisely who is responsible for the initial threat, nor who is exacting it."

"I know." I answered him directly, "There's a reason Belinniel drives Nikki as hard or harder than I ever did, accelerated her expertise at light weapons. Now, from you I want to know the full reason."

"As you know, Belinniel has an important role among the guard, not least being overseer of your own well-being much as you loathe it." Elrond answered calmly, "I can think of no one better equipped to know what you will need when you do not know yourself. She handpicked Nikki for the purpose of being a regular companion for you. The fact that Nikki had a background in fighting, only encouraged her to fine-tune it."

"The fact that Nikki has raised two children from infancy plays no part in this?" I inquired mildly giving him a small smile, "Come on, I'm the first to say while infants aren't unfamiliar to me, the fact of raising one that's wholly mine is a completely different idea."

"You worry too much," Elrond answered me with a smile, "And about the wrong things, Raina. More immediately the concerns are going to be keeping you both safe and while I know how cold this will seem to you because of your feelings about your sisters I would rather have to bury her than bury either you or our child."

For a few seconds I was left dumbfounded, and blinking before I could speak, "I gave you my word, and I will hold to it. That said, if I can pull Nikki's ass out of a fire let there be no mistake I am going to."

"I would be more concerned if you did not at the minimum make an effort to help her than if you did." Elrond answered calmly, "All I can ask of you is that you do not take any unnecessary risks."

"You know I won't take any risk I don't have to or can't justify." I answered him standing up as I pulled my hands free gently with a smile, "For my family I can justify much."

Elrond's hand on my side wrapping nearly around my middle drew my attention to his worried dark grey eyes, slicing into me with the sharp intelligence visible in them "And for mine I will risk everything that is mine to risk."

The day promised to be a warm one, I realized as I stepped out of the bath and felt the blast of heat rather than chill air against my skin. I was certain that it was still only spring-time and that meant it wouldn't get unbearably hot yet, but in a short few months it would be. I picked out a comfortable set of loose, lightweight garb and pulled them on before combing the snarls out of my hair in order to head to breakfast.

I was turning to leave the room when a grinning, stark naked cherub caught my eye but not in its nakedness but in the glint of the light against what was in small, fat hands. Carefully, I picked it up and laughed at the wide, cheekily grinning figurine. I knew who had placed it there, and why. Elrond delighted in leaving little surprises, and this one in his ridiculousness was funny to me. What the little figurine had been holding on to was a pair of amber-tipped hair pins that would secure my hair back.

I was always momentarily taken aback by the subtle reminders of his feelings, even in the busy days and frequent late evenings. It also reminded me each time how poorly I could remind him of mine. That thought firmly implanted in my mind I decided that the best way that I could show that I had stumbled into his newest amusing figurine and gift was to make good use of the pins and twist my hair up off my neck and sneak the cheeky cherub to his seat at the lunch veranda to be found.

It was something all together satisfying to prank the prankster before heading to the library where I knew there would be parchments for drawing and I could surely get something done and completed before the next major solstice. I had a particular fondness for MidSpring and as I settled into the chair and began doodling small ideas. Some were much too feminine, or simply too softly lined when I realized I needed an expert hand to perfect my idea. Instead of focusing on the imagery I scribbled down various words and hurried to the craftsmen hoping to catch one before they were too busy in order to help me for the day.

"And to what honor have I to see the Lady this fair morning, nothing is broken I hope?" There was laughter in the jeweler's voice as I entered the bright, airy workspace.

"Oh, no everything is in perfect working order, with the exception of my ability to draw." I said laughing as the elf gestured to one of the stools for use during the beginning stages.

"And what have you here?" he inquired and for several minutes I hoped my idea was clear and I had that peculiar sense of having my mind and spirit probed for several moments before he smiled lightly and turned the parchment in order to pick up several nearby drawing pens.

For the next several minutes I was fascinated watching the elf's hand move with enviable surety in his movements. As I watched the shape grew from abstract to an elegant, wholly masculine pendant that held in it a discreet heart-shaped center even as the other looping vines and sloping leaves that interconnected and twined together leaving tendrils that would forever in the center be bound together yet, beautifully separated. "How did you take..."

"My lady, to each of us the Valar have given a gift, mine happens to be to take what is feelings and make them into something another could see." his smile was soft, pleased at my delight in the preliminary process. "I think in this case, a burnished gold would be fitting, as it will stand up to the strong colors Lord Elrond favors."

Smiling I nodded, "And how long will you need, and your cost?" I asked carefully studying the Elf's reaction.

"I would say I would only need a little over a fortnight," He smiled lightly, "Just in time for MidSpring celebrations I would expect that is why you came to me now rather than in a flurry later." He chuckled and folded the parchment carefully to put it with the details of the pendant, "A last question, did you prefer it on a chain or with a pin closure in the back?"

I hadn't thought that closely about it and my momentary panic must have shown on my face as I tried to think quickly about it, "I think the chain would suit the lines you drew better than a pin."

"Good choice," He answered smiling again to guide me toward the door, "As for the cost, I will see to it that the invoice is turned in properly for you, there is no worry over what it will come to for you."

"I look forward to seeing progress, and I trust you'll keep this quiet until I'm prepared to unveil it myself?" I inquired preparing to leave the work area so that he could return to his tasks.

"And risk ruining the surprise on Lord Elrond's face when he realizes you have not only met him at his game, but I would dare say checkmated him. I do not think anyone expects you to be willing to take this sort of step in anticipation of the upcoming solstice." he chuckled quietly, "That alone will be enough payment for me."

I slipped out of the doorway and headed to continue with my other errands for the day, which included picking up an order for Elrond from the spice-trader coming from the south. As I turned one corner, I caught just a glimpse of someone in a pale lavender cloak retreating. Why that image haunted me for several minutes I couldn't be sure but I made a mental note to start watching my surroundings more.

"You know, there might be something to that tolerating that shadowing business." I said aloud to myself before heading closer to the spice trader's cart in order to pick up the package.

"Something bothering you, lady?" the trader inquired with a toothy smile. "And anything I can get you?"

"No, nothing is wrong thank you for asking." I smiled brightly and scanned the spices for anything I recognized or that I thought Nikki would want before meeting his gaze again, "No, just the order from Lord Elrond if you please."

"Oh sure, sure. Here you go." He answered holding out the box to me and as I took it I saw the same colored cloak passing by and it dawned on me why it was bothersome. Weather-wise it wasn't cold by a long shot, of course my being pregnant likely twisted my perception of heat and chill; that said, the fact that almost no one else was wearing a cloak made it unusual. By the time I had finished with the trader, the figure was gone and I was left wondering and disturbed enough that I decided to be more careful in the coming weeks.


	86. Tidal Shift - Chapter Eighty-Six

Chapter Eighty-Six

"I do not think that is such a good idea on a cloudy day like this." I heard the concern wrapped up neatly in the calm voice that Erestor was attempting to use to diffuse my fraying temper with the fact that I simply didn't want to have anyone holding me back from one of my simpler pleasures.

I looked up from the plate consisting of a cutlet of venison, cooked over flame, french toast that I had to have that morning, and the small mound of fried potatoes that had been holding my attention until those ill-spoken words. Apparently my feelings on the matter were on my face as I narrowed my eyes at Erestor. Or the fact I still had the sharp knife in my hand might've been the source of discomfort I could feel in the room. "I don't recall asking for permission, I recall stating what I was going to spend the morning doing." I replied slowly forcing my voice to stay low, even, and calm as I leveled a cool gaze on Erestor.

"Raina, no one knows what the weather is going to do this time of year, on the plains." Erestor tried to diffuse the situation as I reached with my other hand for the piece of grapefruit that was resting peacefully in the bowl near my plate.

"And your point is?" I replied testily as my fingers tightened on the hilt of the knife, aware of the flicker of his dark eyes from my face to my hand as if calculating the amount of time he had before it went flying.

"You are gambling with not only your life but the baby's." Erestor kept his tone even as I became aware of the quickening footfalls in the echoing in the corridor over the buzzing in my ears that was indicative of my rising temper. "If you can ignore those facts then consider what any injury to you will do to Elrond's health and well-being."

The knife flew out of my hand almost before I realized that I hadn't placed down on the table as I normally did when someone was pushing on emotional hot-buttons. "How dare you," I began speaking as too many things began happening at once. First, I missed my target as Erestor ducked under the blade and the source of the footfalls revealed themselves to belong to Elladan and Elrohir, who were hurrying to act as intermediaries and intermediaries before the situation escalated further.

"Whoa, Raina there is no need to get yourself upset right after eating." Elladan said sliding so that his body was blocking my view of Erestor even as Elrohir was maneuvering to help the ducking elf back into his chair.

"And you, come on I thought Father picked you for his advisor because you tend not to step on the last nerve of the people you dine with." Elrohir added with a small grimace as he caught sight of me shoving Elladan out of my way of the table.

"Has it occurred to any of you what it costs the guard, and Lord Elrond, every time she goes for one of her little joyrides?" Erestor replied as the realization that he spoke that aloud rather than keeping the poorly timed words to himself a split second too late.

My hands were on the underside of the table, not only because I had gotten upset enough with the slight to my intelligence and having stood up too quickly with the intention of steadying myself, but the fact that he had pushed my temper already past the point that I was in no mood to even consider calming down. Despite the fact my blood pressure was shooting through the roof I kept my voice at a low snarl, clenching my fingers on the edge of the table to keep my balance, "You have been the rudest welcome I have had to this new aspect to my world." I hissed, "What privilege have you, of all others to even consider implying that I would knowingly force him to watch a grave!"

"Raina -" Whatever Elladan had been about to say was drowned out by the thunder of the table crashing into the floor sending the contents scattering with a satisfying level of drowning noise.

"Now that I have your attention," I growled, "and no one else thinks to tell me what to do, I am going to meet Nikki at the stable before I am any later than I am now." I turned and stalked out of the room leaving the three of them to stare in wonder at the fact I had created the wreckage without breaking a sweat.

"And we have to survive another nine to ten months of her unpredictability." Elrohir mused with a small shudder as Elladan looked up from the pile of ruined breakfast rolls he was trying to put into a refuse bin without getting covered in sticky honey and sugar.

"As long as people cease trying to make up her mind for her, we all stand a better chance at living through it." Elrohir commented as the humor of the situation occurred to him, "But, at least none of us actually got hurt in this instance."

Elrond cleared his throat to alert his sons to his appearance, his concern plain on his normally emotionless face, "Do I want to know why we're serving breakfast on the floor?"

"My fault," Erestor answered before the twins could, "I seem to have annoyed the lady this morning."

Elrond's voice betrayed his deep amusement, "Dare I inquire how you might have accomplished this feat of magnificence?"

"My silver tongue apparently needs polishing." Erestor deadpanned, unprepared for the chuckle that escaped from Elrond. "Of course, I should have been more conscientious to find out all of the details about her going riding this morning." He amended thinking of Raina's last words before storming out of the room.

"Raina has at least relented in terms of having Nikki's company even if she is still resistant to the idea of the honor guard." Elrond answered calmly passing Erestor an empty basket to place the ruined food into. "The fact that she and Nikki have always been close has worked advantageously in that regard."

"The question is, how aware of Nikki's secondary function is Raina." Elladan spoke looking at his father, "And you know, just as I do if something happens to Nikki in her defense you are going to have to find a way to diffuse a major meltdown."

"I wish you good luck with that, if it comes to that situation." Elrohir chimed in looking from his twin to his father. "If this is a mild tantrum, and from what I was able to see in those few heartbeats she was not out of control of her emotions."

"Something we should all consider in the future is that Raina's emotions and health are intimately entwined and both are tied to my child." Elrond's voice hardened, laced with warning, "And no child should grow up without their mother."

"You didn't!" Nikki's laughter bubbled out of her chest as I recounted the morning's disagreement with Erestor, "Oh man, I would have loved to have seen his face!"

"Well he started it." I replied dryly, "At least he was able to duck out of the way of the flying knife."

"Oh man, I bet that was something to see." Nikki shook her head, "But really, he should have known I wasn't going to let you go up on the plains this time of year by yourself. I hear the guard reports now and again from Tommy and there's something in the wind, as he says."

"I know something's moving, Nikki, I can feel it." I answered stepping closer to her in order to lower my voice, "I've had that dream twice in the last week, the one that drove me to coming back to Rivendell before we were supposed to." I said looking at her intently, "I want to see what's on the plains, listen to the open air and see what we can find out."

"We'll do that, and I can fill you in on the last letter I got from Autumn." Nikki's grin widened at my look of surprise, "We've been writing back and forth since she went to Lorien, and she is so excited about being an aunt all over again." She said as we walked out into the open air outside the stables where we watched the grooms finish putting the tack on the horses.

"What letter?" I asked, as I hadn't been aware that any of them had been in contact with Autumn since she had left for Lorien with the wardens.

"I tucked a letter into Autumn's bag before she left so she could find it on her own time and decide to answer, or not, but I had to try to reach out to her." Nikki explained, smiling as we were each boosted onto horseback. "I got an answer back a few nights ago, it came along with one of the Rangers that wandered that way."

"That's a good thing," I answered her as we turned the horses onto the path leading out of the city by way of one of the side-gates near the stables. "What did she say?" I called over my shoulder as the path was too narrow to have the horses walk two abreast.

"She adores being in Lothlorien, for starters." Nikki's laughter bubbled over to me as we turned up onto the open plain after a short, easy ride up to the top of it. "She says its more beautiful than the Viennese countryside, and you know how much she loves the pictures and movies she came back with from that honors school trip, as a junior."

"I am glad that she is happy." I replied as we were paused a comfortable distance from the entryway to the city, the countryside a wild and wondrous expanse that went in all directions. around us leaving the illusion in place for us to be the only ones for many miles.

"I think there's a possible relationship there for her that has her excited to stay in Lorien." Nikki confided in me as we were both looking over the open wilderness. "She doesn't say anything outright about it but all the little cues are there and all."

"Good." I answered without any real ire as I cast a look across the plains relishing in the feel of the sunlight on my face and the open air winding through my clothes.

"Only you could reply with that and not sound like you were being completely sarcastic about it."

"I mean it." I turned toward Nikki using the mount's head to turn my body and his to face her, "Nikki, she deserves to be happy. If spreading her wings lets her feel ready to take on the world, with or without a relationship to ground her, than I want that for her. I'm willing to let the world slap her down if that's what it takes to let her learn how to fly."

"You really are an odd duck you know that?" Nikki's voice held in it light ire and confusion, "I mean you're as protective as a momma bear yet you'll shove us all right up into the damn fire."

"Well, you're all adults." I pointed out reasonably as we were heading in a northerly direction at a slow walk. "I can't make your paths for you but I can encourage and sometimes pick you up, dust you all off and send you on your way."

"You spend too much time with elves," Nikki grumbled at me which made me chuckle, "You're even starting to think like them," she paused and glanced at me, "Actually no, you're not you always did say yes and no in the same sentence. The whole relationship with Lord Elrond only made it worse."

Despite myself I began chuckling louder as we were riding along one of the paths, "You're just mad that I have all the answers today."

"All the smartass answers." Nikki corrected falling into step as I glanced to her with a wicked grin of my own.

"You mean after all this time you're not used to that?"

"Oh I'm used to it, it's just annoying as hell to hear my own brain come out of your mouth!"

"Why did you ask me to come with you?" Willow asked Destiny watching the children running ahead of them to where they would be meeting Jason and Tommy for their trip to a glade that was less than a day's walk outside the city.

"Because you're my sister and much as you make me freaking nuts I love you?" Destiny countered, smiling as she shoved Willow's arm playfully, "Besides it's good for the kids to see that just because we get on each others' nerves like they do that we still try to work through our issues."

"You're cute, Des. Where's Nikki anyway," Willow asked, knowing that there were few things that would prevent Nikki from going to one of these sorts of gatherings.

"Actually, Nikki had plans to go riding with Raina before I decided I wanted to take the kids up onto the south plains." Destiny explained smiling at Willow, "It's something even I didn't get invited to so I figure it's something to do with the fact someone thinks they're clever enough to try to hurt her."

"Hurt who? Nikki? Really I mean, I thought Raina was pretty explicit on her declaration that we were all pretty much hands-off." Willow protested stopping Destiny even as the children ran ahead to their fathers.

"No," She corrected Willow, lowering her voice to a near-whisper, "Someone is threatening Raina and Nikki's trying to help keep her from getting hurt. I'm with Tommy on this one, I don't want to live in a world with no Raina; I'm pretty sure that'd be a very ugly place."

"Yeah, I'm really not in the mood, or mind, to see the ugly side of Lord Elrond's temper if you know what I mean," Willow agreed quietly meeting her sister's eyes, "What can we do?"

"We can help best by keeping our eyes open, are (skip this our and the next one - "keeping our eyes open, ears listening and attention on the little ones so Nikki doesn't try to split her attention any more than necessary. I love my twin, but give her more than a few tasks simultaneously and she has a hard time dividing her loyalties and focus."

"How serious do you think these threats are, or are not?" Willow asked quietly as they caught up with the others during their discussion.

"I think serious enough that even Raina's getting nervous about it and with the baby and all stress isn't good for her." Destiny answered as they arrived on the open glade and it was a point they could see for many miles in all directions and there was nothing to be seen.

At the same time there was something in the air, some sort of change and both sisters felt it even as the youngsters played and chased each other in the grass back and forth. It reminded the two of their own growing up when the four of them, later five of them when they were together as a family unit. An innocent-seeming time before they had to hide themselves both from each other and their youngest sister.

"It's a lot like watching us sometimes, the little ones all together." Destiny commented silently counting heads. Her niece and nephew and her two and the two younger of three that Raina had placed with them knowing there was love and care to be shared easily among their family.

"A little bit but we were all girls, no boys at all." Willow nodded as the sun rose higher into the sky.

"It has gotten better, hasn't it?" Willow looked concerned, "I mean, Raina's not trying to hold us together anymore..."

"She can't, Willow." Destiny said as they were stretched out in the warmed grass listening to the sounds around them, finding only sounds of the children playing and the two men practicing. "Not to mention that whole thing with her and Lord Elrond, preventing the whole idea of her self-destruction to try to stop the utter decimation of ourselves and everything else related to us."

"She doesn't let anyone in. It's like, well it's like dealing with Mom." Willow sighed laying back in the grass to relax in the rising sun well able to hear the children nearby.

"She thinks it protects us when she does that." Destiny said defensively, "It doesn't but it's her way of trying to keep us out of harm's way, even if that harm is the cluster bomb of her emotions and feelings."

"I guess you're right on that." Willow agreed as the shrieking tumble of little bodies rolled in the grass nearby and drew their attention away from their discussion to watch the tangle of small limbs. The laughter rolled off of the happy group of children, lightening the atmosphere despite the seriousness of the conversation they'd been having.

It was impossible to be very serious when the group of children were actively laughing and chasing each other around the area between a low cliff and a set of young birch trees. It wasn't long before the mischievous eldest of the group, Mandy whose bright, happy expression was difficult to resist. Harder to resist when she actively participated in the rowdy games of tag or hide and seek rather than referee for the others.

Chasing the group into a pile that was both jostling and affectionate as everyone gathered in for a light lunch that had been gathered together earlier in the morning. It wasn't going to be a fancy meal, not when hands and faces were dirty but the abundance of apples and grapes among other fruits were complimentary with the bread and meat that were passed among everyone, some were smaller, aimed for the littler hands and stomachs while the ones for Tommy and Jason were heartier and reflected on their activity level and their appetites.

The meal was progressing as many meals in the last weeks and months before, with the children laughing and talking amongst themselves and with the four adults when Tommy tensed and looked around as Jason automatically shifted to search the surroundings for what had set Tommy's defenses to alert.

"What is it man?" Jason asked looking around again as the sense of something being amiss rolled through him as he could hear the sound of hooves unlike any other that the two had heard before. It sounded like silver bells accompanying the roll of the steady heartbeat of the hooves on the grass.

The horse was as white as snow with a pale blond mane that shook as the beast entranced the children with the wordless majesty and carriage of his body wearing the tack adorned with silenced bells. "Why hello, friends and well met." The rider was a wizened old man, garbed in grey robes and carrying in one hand a long wooden staff with serious eyes piercing the deep grey of his eyebrow, long beard and hair.

"Well-met," Tommy said getting to his feet even as there was clearly no danger from the man, that the eye could see. "Are you lost?"

"Lost, no. Wandering, perhaps one could say. I am on my way to Rivendell to seek council with my old friend." The old man spoke with a deep almost soothing voice that let Tommy relax to some degree.

"You aren't far, if you know the way." He answered looking up at the rider with a curious, if cautious look.

"I should say, young man, I know the way, I have been to Rivendell many times in a long lifetime."

"Then we shall not keep you from your business and return to our own." Tommy smiled up at him turning to refocus his attention on the children who were fascinated by the rider.

"Good day then, friend, until our paths meet again." the rider turned the horse toward the path that Tommy knew would lead him directly into the side-entrance to Rivendell.

"Ah, there you two are." Elrond's voice carried over to where Nikki and I were coming in from our ride.

"Sorry we're late." Nikki answered with one of her trademark bright smiles, "Someone took a nap in the sun."

"Oh sure, blame me you flower picking fool." I laughed shoving her lightly with my shoulder into her arm.

"I happen to like those flowers, they'll look great in the living room for a few days." Nikki said indignantly as we settled into our respective chairs.

"I am glad to see your morning went well." Elrond said looking between the two of us.

"It was a good morning to go riding up on the plains." I agreed noticing the bearded man sitting near Elrond and met his gaze with the same intensity that I tended to meet all strangers.

"And what do we have here, a late coming guest?" The man's voice was deep, reminiscent of a river that had a rough-hewn bed under thousands upon thousands of gallons of water.

"In a manner of speaking," Elrond replied smiling even as the man's darkened eyes focused on me.

"So you are the source of all the disturbances I have been hearing about." The man said settling his grey robes around himself as he shifted to study me, much as I was him, letting a small smile play at the corner of my mouth.

"I'll have to try harder if I'm merely a disturbance." I replied with a smirk aimed the man's way, "As I heard somewhere here that I swing from difficult to downright impossible."

"Sometimes in a day," Elrond commented dryly as he reached for the platter of small pastries as my eyes zeroed in on the center of the plate, "Hopefully you will crave more than these." He said as I snagged two of the prized éclairs from the center of the platter, generously leaving three or four more on there.

"Probably," I agreed amiably as I heard the harpists begin playing again, a fact which was both comfortable and soothing, "I have half a mind to try a little bit of everything," I decided as one of the chef's assistants unobtrusively set a small bowl of one of my recently favored soups near my hand.

"Really now, that is interesting indeed." The man kept casting curious looks my direction and I returned each one with a look that dared him to say it, heedless of the warning glance I received from Elrond.

"All right, if you've got something to say, don't pussyfoot around it." I challenged him, and I felt my eyes narrow even as my stomach clenched at the fact that my internal defenses rose with every passing minute.

"Raina, please put the claws away. Gandalf is a friend." Elrond said quietly looking between the two of us with an increasingly concerned expression.

"Your friend." I corrected him with no small amount of bite in my tone, "He has yet to prove to be mine."

The man's bushy eyebrows rose up and down as Elrond and I exchanged those words, "And that may prove a challenge indeed."


	87. Chapter 87

/Author's note: First, the delay has a pretty intense reason - Graduate school. However, I have another special note for this chapter. My rewarding beta experience is continuing with GloryBee, however I know she was away for about a week to her son's wedding I was able to enlist another friend to beta this chapter for me so that this could be put up sooner than later. Thanks a million, geminifatcat for helping me on so many points in this chapter. I hope it is all that some of you were hoping for. As always read, review and enjoy. -silentdovesong

Chapter Eighty-Seven

The foamy white bubbles skimmed the surface of the bath water, kissing and stroking her silken skin as she soaked. Her package was due to arrive, and in it would be the necessary ingredients to begin putting her plans in motion, despite the fact that there were several rather unfortunate snags in her once perfectly laid plans. Among those plan snags were the realization that she was being used to quietly disturb the serenity of Rivendell by a larger force. Raina, another snag that had become far more complicated given that now that she had managed to sink her claws in deeper with pregnancy. It wasn't helped that her mewling, nosy, noisy _human_ family had joined her.

These were going to slowly start fixing themselves. It was a several-stage plan that she had been warping the loom for, soon be able to properly wave the threads in the pattern she desired. First was going to be shaking off the foolish humans, in conjunction with beginning to really rock the foundation of that ridiculous and ill-fitting female's world. The fact that Elrond had completely convinced himself that he loved Raina, well that would just have to correct. There was no way, it had happened much too quickly given the fact that since Celebrian's sailing all those years ago, she as his wife's friend, had barely gotten a second acknowledging glance. It was just a matter of convincing him; or better yet, eliminating the spawn of that woman was growing in her womb.

She murmured, anticipating the package's arrival, "I wonder, you little mongrel, if you even have an inkling of what's coming. When it arrived her plans could come to fruition; if they happened to coincide with the Master's, all the better.

"Gandalf, this is a surprise I had not expected to meet with you until this afternoon." Elrond said admitting the wizard into his study before securing the door behind them.

"I thought it best, in light of the rather interesting meeting with your ... consort is it... that we meet sooner rather than later." The wizard said taking one of the more comfortable seats in the study watching as Elrond did the same, rather than taking his more customary seat behind the desk.

"Well then what is on your mind, as I am sure you have much to say and rare are the moments you hesitate to state the words you are thinking. Even if you do not always say them exactly as they should be spoken." Elrond countered canting his head to the side, inviting Gandalf to open what was potentially a divisive can of worms.

"There are more changes than I was expecting in Rivendell, old friend." Gandalf said, watching Elrond's expression carefully for a reaction to his preamble.

Elrond had faced that sort of probing more than once and tilted his head at the intent gaze, "Have I suddenly grown an extra appendage that I need to concern myself with?"

"No, no nothing like that at all." Gandalf assured him with a chuckle, "Though I must admit I am unused to such a prickly welcome here in Imladris."

"Raina is ... at the best of times difficult and being several months pregnant I am afraid her temper is only going to prove to match that lovely red hair more completely as time progresses." Elrond's smile was slightly forced, "And that is one woman whose tongue is sharper than her claws."

"I find it curious, all these long years after Celebrian's choice that you have picked now to find someone to stand beside you. More so, you are so firmly entwined with a mortal woman, that is something not even the very wisest would have expected from you."

"I did not expect it myself," Elrond admitted taking a seat behind his desk after all and gestured for Gandalf to remain in his preferred seat. "I do not understand all of it myself," he said softly smiling slightly as he eyed Gandalf, "In all of the lore-books in Middle Earth, none before, nor since, the coming of the elves long ago give precedence to the arrival of another. though we are, by our own understanding, part of this world, she is not, yet she holds it as dear as we do."

"What then, has you concerned about this matter? If there is no question of loyalty or consent." Gandalf inquired, having learned the subtle concerns that were often voiced by the calm elf without being given audible tones.

"The relationships between the races are fragile, and there are those even among my kin that are reluctant to accept such as it is between Raina and I." Elrond's voice lowered and there was a slightly sharp edge to his voice as he looked to Gandalf, "Someone dislikes the idea enough that they are part of a scheme to bring harm to one or both of them."  
>"Do you mean to tell me that there is someone either acting actively or passively in this potentially deadly capacity." Gandalf's voice lowered further watching as Elrond's dark eyes deepened in their hue.<p>

"Both." He answered directly, and the anger laced into the tone was palpable. "Someone appears to believe that Raina or I will simply roll over and consent to the idea of losing our child. In my case someone appears to believe that I will accept losing either. A situation which I will not accept without a fight, either at that juncture nor preemptively if I can."

"What can I do to assist you?" Gandalf asked his brow furrowing with concentration.

"Keep your eyes open, you have contacts that I do not." Elrond answered him after a period of careful silence, "And if you find something out of the ordinary please let either Erestor or I know as soon as you can."

"I will do what I can to assuage your concerns in the matter, is there anyone in particular that I should be aware of their comings and goings?" Gandalf asked rising to his feet, looking every bit the wizened old man that did not betray his abilities.

"No one has yet been able to ferret out more than whispers." Elrond answered with a deeper sigh, "Any light you can shed on this is welcome."

"I will do my best, in the meantime what steps have been taken already?" Gandalf assured Elrond smiling slightly, knowing that his appearance as an old man often let others lower their guard considerably.

"Raina has reluctantly consented to a guard specializing in her safety." Elrond shook his head with a small smile, "She is not one to surrender her freedom readily, and that she has conceded at all is remarkable in my eyes. I believe the fact that we are not limiting her activities is assisting in this process, albeit it has been a delicate tightrope walk."

Nodding the wizard leaned on the edge of the desk and smiled faintly, "I assume then that the lady slips her guards eyes often."

"As often as she can manage it, and yet, there is one she does not normally see fit to run from. Rather amusingly she runs to."

"Good, that habit may yet save more than her life." Gandalf's smile was tight, "Who is it then?"

"One of her sisters, has proven to be a most useful, and assisting ally in keeping Raina both calm and shielded." Elrond said with a bemused look, "The fact that said sister is as stubborn as Raina is, and learning how not to bend when the situation demands it works even more to the benefit of the guards."

"Good, good I should like to meet with both of them while I am in Rivendell." Gandalf said thoughtfully, "I am curious myself of these strangers that you say are not of our world, yet here they are."

"Oh come on that's not even funny anymore." Nikki said looking over the chessboard as I had in a series of a dozen moves checkmated her.

"Oh its funny, you just don't think so because you lost again." I answered laughing at her expression.

"And you're just mean." Nikki's attempt at anger was foiled by the fact that she was laughing at herself, "But that's okay because I expect that out of you." She said as I watched her eyes follow something behind me.

"What is it?" I asked as her laughter died down a little, her eyes were sharpening, focused in on the scene that had distracted her.

"Nothing, probably. I just don't remember seeing her carrying anything on her own before." Nikki said more to herself than to me. "No, it's nothing really, I'm sure of it I'm probably just jumping at shadows."

"If you're sure," I answered as we were both distracted from the bunny trail of conversations by the approach of the grey-robed man whose demeanor was pleasant enough. "Good day, I trust you have found your stay in Rivendell to be pleasant?"

"Enjoyable as always, the city is a beautiful one," The man's smile was masked by the long grey beard dangling very nearly to his belt, and waited I realized to be invited to sit as Nikki and I finished putting away our chess game, "I'm sorry I did not intend to intrude upon your game."

"Oh no," Nikki's grin was bright, disarming I knew well when she chose to be, "I had already gotten my twice-weekly thrashing now all I've got left to look forward to is Elladan's thorough trouncing at the end of the week and I'm all set till next week."

"Please, sit," I invited thoughtfully, "We often have a mid-afternoon snack afterwards, feel free to join us if you like. The chef promised me something with cocoa given that the little one has bigger sweet tooth than I have."

"And that says something." Nikki chimed in with a laugh, "Given that you had a serious love of sweets to begin with."

"Indeed," I agreed amiably as we settled to wait, knowing that it would be a few minutes before the mystery dessert would appear. "So, what can I do for you this delightful afternoon?" I inquired of the wizard sizing him up without the alarm of the sudden appearance. On the surface, he did not appear to be much, though something about him warned me that there was more to him than met the eye. After all, I was the poster child for deceptive appearances; why would I not be cautious about what appeared simply to be an old man.

"Would you indulge an old man a few questions?" The man inquired as one of the kitchen staff, apparently one of the few I didn't know by name, approached carrying a tray laden apparently with enough refreshments for all of us. How the elves always seemed to have enough for a gathering, I didn't know, or else they simply assumed than the extra would be eaten as well. Delicately each of us were handed a small glass filled with what looked at a glance to be a dark chocolate mousse, topped with a generous dollop of whipped cream and fresh fruit. Mine happened to have raspberries, Nikki's had no whipped cream but was topped with strawberries, given that they knew she wasn't a fan of raspberries as I was. The other two only had whipped cream on top.

"Sure, help yourself to that." I answered digging the provided spoon into the decadent treat while eying him. "Because I'm eating even if you don't."

"Don't feel too bad, she'd do it either way." Nikki chimed in laughing as I poked my spoon at her.

"Keep digging, chicky an' I'm sure Belinniel will not mind running you clear through the ground with your next lesson." I said before focusing on the old man. "Sure I'll play your questions game as long as you're willing to answer mine."

"May I ask where you're from?" He asked as I licked the spoon clean of the whipped cream sliding up the handle and eyed him with a grin.

"Absolutely, it's a funny little place called 'Phaedos', but I've lived plenty of other places too." I answered digging the spoon into the mousse to get my next bite of it.

"Where is this... place? I have been all over Middle Earth and never have I heard of such a land." The wizard sounded genuinely baffled.

"Well that's because it's not from around here," I answered having bolted the treat i ran my spoon lightly along the edges of the glass before placing both on the tray gently. "I'm not exactly sure how to explain where it is precisely, only that is not here in terms of any map you have seen or any land you have crossed."

"And yet you tell me it exists." He pressed as I gave him a cool look.

"What precisely, do I gain by telling you something that is untrue?" I countered with a small smile, "I actually gain nothing, though I am certain that the elves of Rivendell have seen enough strangeness to make even the inhabitants of Harad seem pretty normal from me."

The old man nodded as Nikki put her glass on the tray as well. "Very well then I am sure I can find out what you mean by that."

"Sure you can. Lord Elrond has suggested that, for the most part, the closest relatable reference would be not unlike where the men of Westernesse, long lived and wiser than most, were once." I answered thoughtfully, "Which isn't a far cry, though I think to date no one has called me 'wise' without the word 'ass' afterwards." I said with my tongue firmly in cheek.

"What she means is that her words can eviscerate someone in a few seconds if she puts some effort into it. If she's not trying it usually takes a couple of minutes." Nikki helpfully explained as I smirked at her words.

"As much as I would like to deny that, I find it unreasonable given that I think I've verbally ripped just about everyone out of their skin verbally in the last two weeks or so."

"You are not what I would have expected in a companion for the good elf." Gandalf said treading carefully as my lips twitched trying not to smile, let alone let go of the laughter that bubbled in my belly. "I daresay you are the opposite of what I had anticipated meeting."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I am who I am, I'm not really interested in changing the fundamental part of who I am. It's like teaching a nanny goat to sing - you can do it, I don't suggest it because it huts your ears and really annoys the nanny." I swallowed the giggle at his shocked expression leaning forward to speak softly, even if it wasn't because Nikki was present. "I'm rude, short-tempered, anti-social and I really dislike being told what to do. All of those traits are probably what's got someone around here's knickers in a knot causing them to get people all kinds of worked up. Unfortunately for them, I'm pretty comfortable in being who I am. The idea of spending a day dong one of those fancy stitching-things makes me want to jab myself in the eye with the needle. Me? I'd rather be on the practice field, debating one strategy or another with Glorfindel or more recently, I've been playing at figuring out what the baby will need. I like to think that includes two parents. So if you're going to be here, pretending to be Elrond's friend then go about whatever it is wizard types do. Excluding meddling in my life, I have enough people trying to stir my pot for me, when I don't need a single one of them helping me. If you are actually the friend to him you profess yourself to be, then quit trying to pick my brain and help them figure out who it is before someone actually does get hurt." I said getting up from the table just as the alarm rang out, signaling there was a patrol returning which was carrying with them casualties.

"Wait, wasn't Jason supposed to be on the patrols with the Dunadain today?" Nikki said getting to her feet even though from our vantage point there was no way for either of us to see what was going on below as they were coming in from the main gate.

"I think so, why don't you go help Destiny with the kids, if something's happened she's going to need you more than I am." I suggested mentally shoving Nikki toward her twin, knowing that if anything had happened, Destiny was going to rely on Nikki more than ever.

"He is going to be fine," The twins descended on me while I sat on the veranda, the relief was palpable from both. "A little banged up, a head wound that bled everywhere and a nasty gash on his leg. At least he gave as good as he got." Destiny chimed in reciting the list of injuries Jason had acquired on his most recent tour with the Dunadain.

"I have always told you the man has a head like granite." I smiled as they sank into the chairs.

"Twenty minutes and then we have to rescue the horses from the attention of the kids." Nikki said with a sigh, "I'm just glad the grooms are so patient with them."

"You have the elven love of children on your side." I reminded them as I put my feet up on the chair, "But does anyone know how the attack started?"

"How does any orc ambush happen?" Destiny's tone turned bitter and worried, "Why they're coming this boldly close to Rivendell's borders in the open sun I don't know. It's like something is driving them here."

"That needs to be looked into," I said thoughtfully, "That'll have to be you two and maybe Willow if you can convince her to help you." I grinned wryly, "Elrond will have a major fit if he thinks I'm up to that. However, if there's something within a half-day's ride I would like to go. I'm reasonably sure we can get Belinniel or one of the others to go if it eases over-sensitive minds."

"You really do hate being penned up." Nikki observed with a sympathetic look. "I hear ya on that. I swear they hear or even thinkg, baby and lose their fool minds."

"Come on, I hate to leave the grumpy kitty by herself but if we're late they'll think we're taking advantage of them. Or one of those snotty elves will." Destiny sighed as we all rose, though they had an easier time of it. "Are you okay, you moved funny just now."

"Fine, just had the baby move while I was rising and it made me a little motion sick for a moment." I answered shooing them off. "I'll probably eat later, I'm not really hungry at the moment. If someone needs me I'm going to go crawl into my bed and sleep, someone wants a nap." I yawned shaking my head. If there was one thing no one had told me about growing a child inside you, it was the sheer amount of sleep you wanted.

I was walking through the corridors at an easy pace, taking in the early evening sounds and sights when I noticed something a little off. Elladan and Elrohir were well-known, and had a fair number of friends so that wasn't entirely unusual, I had met most of the more serious ones, so I thought. However, I didn't know the female by name that was walking carrying a tray. Given her clothing choices, she wasn't a servant; the material even at a distance I knew to be too fine, too detailed to be one of the handful of assistants and servants that Rivendell actually kept. I took note of her appearance, with fair skin, light hair and her penchant for pale colored clothing. More unusual was the choice of a lavender cloak, most of the elves I knew tended to lean to either blues or burgundy for an everyday cloak, rather than one that would show every speck of nonsense. Shrugging it off, I assumed it was one of the ones I didn't know, and it really wasn't my business which of the two were entertaining. They had been discreet enough, I supposed, as I was not known to be out walking the corridors at that hour. Normally I was spending time reading, or more recently helping Erestor or Glorfindel.

Letting myself into the room I closed the door behind me and sat down on the couch to remove my shoes and exhaled slowly. Why I was as tired as I was, I didn't know but I attributed to the baby to a portion of it. Shaking off the fatigue I reached for the most recent book I had been reading, a rather dry book on the histories of the distant past. It might've been dull, but I knew that the past had a habit of biting people in the butt if they forgot it. I'd been bitten enough times to know that I didn't want another chunk of my hide removed because I didn't know or understand the histories of the world I now called home.

I must've nodded off at some point, as the book was open on my belly and I woke to a horrible crick in my neck from sleeping with my head on my chest. Rubbing my face I placed the bookmark on the page, and set it aside before retreating into the bedroom and changed out of my day clothes and into something suitable for sleeping.

The cooler material felt lovely against my skin and I slipped into the blankets reviewing what had been going on the last few days in my mind. Jason's injuries were not life threatening, which was always a plus, given the hazards of the world we were now all living in. It also reminded me of just how fragile their lives, like my own could be, a mistake could be life-changing or even deadly. I was thankful that my sisters were finally starting to find their own niches in the world around us.

Nikki and Destiny were finding their own places, between their families and interests. Willow seemed to be settling, though I half expected her to seek a refuge elsewhere, as I always had the sense she felt a little out of place. I made a mental note to check in on the most troubled of them, and realized that I still hadn't completed my correspondences with the other two. _Well aren't you a great sister._ I mused remembering that I had a letter from Autumn on my writing desk that I was pretty sure I hadn't even read yet. _Tomorrow, I'm sure there's a messenger heading to Lorien late in the afternoon, to begin the trek down there while the seasons are good._ I mused as my eyes grew heavier and I let them close.

I awoke with a ragged cry out into the silence of the filtered moonlight, my insides were rolling as if I were in the midst of a rough storm rather than the comfortable bed. Every breath brought a stabbing pain that curled my legs up around my middle, as if the added pressure would ease the discomfort that edged toward blinding. If one's insides could be turned to writhing serpents, twisting and coiling around internally strangling a precious life that was the feeling I had. I didn't know what the hellfire was going on, but I did know that there was no way that I could get out of the bed, let alone get up to get help.

_Baby._ The word shot across my mind like one of the fireworks unleashed by wizards in this world. I couldn't tell if I could sense the delicate life still rooted in my womb amid the rolling coils that had become my insides. I reached with one hand to run my fingers over the small life, aware of the heat rolling from my skin as another jab twisted my limbs around my middle. Panting I struggled to catch a breath, to get out of the bed as my insides uncoiled only to coil up more tightly than before. My face felt to me, cold and I knew there was a thin sheen of sweat across it as I fought to crawl out of the bed, knowing the blankets were soiled of stinking, sickness-related sweat.

My vision doubled and threatened to dim, as I fought my way to the floor, desperate to get to at least the bathing room. I needed to know if there was blood, as excruciating as the cramping, vicious stabbing pains were there surely was as I uttered a soft shriek as I rested my forehead on the soft rug near the side of the bed.

Reaching one hand under my nightdress, I felt for the telltale slippery moisture praying to whatever deity might listen to a wretch as I was that I was wrong. Nothing would so violently wring the hope out of me as to lose a child I hadn't even been permitted to meet. My hand came away empty but for the damp sweat as my insides clenched and I heard a quiet gurgle that I thought through buzzing ears was my imagination.

A ragged, agonized breath of relief whistled past my lips as the pain abated, however briefly as I half crawled, half scampered across the floor. I knew on some level I should aim for the door that seemed miles away, and draw attention to myself for help. Instead, I aimed toward the bathing-room where my misery would be my own secret. A violent crap propelled me forward and I clung to the stand in there where lay different oils, and soaps thankful that the sturdy construction was enough to keep me on my knees. Clinging to it, I forced myself to move where I would collapse, writhing as the next stabbing cramp curled my legs up around my middle.

"What is this madness." I whispered into the dark as I felt this time a gurgling stab dropped me to the floor my fingers losing their grip in favor of holding around my middle. Rather than fight my way back to the bed, where my misery would at least have the comfort of softness and his scent for comfort, I lay on the drying mat and closed my eyes against the pain stabbing me from the inside out.

I jerked with the most intense pressure on my bowels that I had ever known, and given my eating habits under the best of circumstances I was inundated with the sensations. Alone, with the jabbing, aching pain I kept one hand on my middle, I surrendered to the fact that there was no way I was going to be able to move again from the spot on the drying mat with a quiet whimper. Exhausted, I let my head lay on the pillow, swallowing a sound as blessed, painless oblivion found me. What, if anything I would discover on the other side of oblivion I didn't know.


	88. Chapter 88

Chapter Eighty-Eight

Elladan's eyes focused on the ceiling, trying to string together the evening before as blood pounded in his ears. Laying his head back on the pillow he began a habitual inventory of what he could be certain of. He was in a bed, which was certainly better than being on the hard ground of a campsite. His twin was sprawled out on the other side with a still-warm space between them, this was nothing new. That Elrohir still slept did not surprise him, he was always the earlier riser. What disconcerted him was his rampant nudity, and the teasing memory of a night of overindulgence in vices ordinarily held in check. They'd entertained a guest Ithiliwien, who had fled the room sometime during his slumber.

Elladan knew that the best way to string the events together was to lay still. He felt vaguely hung over, in itself quite a feat, therefore he was not objecting to the idea of laying still for awhile longer. Something felt wrong, and the knot in his belly warned him that when he strung the pieces together they was not going to like the picture painted. All signs pointed to a rather interesting evening given the state of the room. From where he lay, Elladan looked around the room and saw to no surprise several emptied decanters of what he hoped was wine. Different dishes piled somewhat haphazardly around the decanters, a nauseating fragrance assaulting his senses even at a distance. Rubbing his face he rolled intending to get up when his balance faltered. "Too much wine," he muttered rebuking himself with a quiet groan and headed to the bath and for a personal moment.

Indulgently he allowed himself the relief of having caroused in the privacy of his own rooms. A public spectacle would have left him getting his ears blistered by his father, an experience not repeated since the time that he had helpfully decorated the undergarments of visiting nobility. Granted that experience had gained him a close friend, but still there was no desire to have his ears seared by his father's temper. Even less so when Elrond's temper was shorter than ever with the continued threat against Raina's life.

Elladan stood before the mirror and studied himself in it, surveying the familiar face with hair hanging down his back when he noticed a few fading marks on his neck and shoulder that left him feeling wary. "What in the name of Elbereth did we get ourselves into last night? It is all haze." He muttered setting the temperature and stepping under the spray with the hope that the shower would be enough to cut through the fog in his mind.

By the time Elladan emerged from the shower, Elrohir was sitting up on the same side of the bed as he had been sleeping, head in hands. "Whatever did we get into, Brother?" The rough edged tone to his voice indicated that Elladan was not the only one that was left wondering what they had done. "And where did Ithiliwien go?"

Fatigue burned at lean muscle as Elrond walked through the halls of his comfortable home. He had just spent the better part of the last eight to ten hours tending to the wounded, preparing the bodies of the fallen to be interred and he was past tired. The fact that he had been awake for approximately eighteen hours at least probably contributed to his itching eyes and tired mind. All that he craved was a glass of cool water to wet his tongue and his head on the pillow. Under most circumstances after spending that many hours tending the wounded, a bath was in order but he was quite certain that he would fall asleep in the water. The promised glimpse of sweet relief was now only a few yards away and closing fast.

Elrond slid the key into the lock that secured his personal space from other, prying eyes and opened the door. Walking inside, out of habit he secured the door and shed the first layer of soiled robes and discarded it into the pile of laundry to be washed and continued into the next room, fully expecting to find a sleeping Raina, given the late hour.

The first observation his exhausted mind registered was that the bed looked like a small controlled warzone. Second and more importantly, Raina was not in the bed. The latter fact was more disconcerting as he turned the door to the bath, thinking perhaps she had risen for the facilities. Nudging the door gently open every ounce of fatigue fled his mind as his eyes focused on the floor of the bathing room.

Raina was sprawled on the floor, face down with her hair fanned across the crown of her head, shallow breaths loud in his sharp ears as he bent to kneel beside her. Touching the back of her neck, he was startled by how cold, clammy her skin was under his palm. The only comfort about her condition was that there was no obvious blood anywhere, not from her head or anywhere else. Using both hands to gently roll her onto her back to continue his assessments.

She had not fallen, that was evident to his experienced eye given that she wasn't bruising on her face or shoulders. Moaning quietly, Raina stirred in his arms and he silenced her with one fingertip on her lips as her hand ran over her abdomen as if trying to tell him something. Whatever it was, fled her thoughts as her insides coiled and her breath caught in a sharp sound that had his hand moving involuntarily to her abdomen. Elrond didn't need her to tell him she was afraid, her fear was a nearly tangible entity in the room as she was curling around herself as best as she could trying to protect her middle which was a futile, slow attempt.

Knock! Knock! Knock! The insistent, demanding rapping on his door jolted Glorfindel out of his deep reverie. Something in the alarmed, insistent rapping propelled him to the door, heedless of the fact he was wearing only sleeping-trousers and a disgruntled scowl. "What?" He demanded in a low snarl, having only just crawled into his blankets about three hours prior. '_Someone had better be dead or dying.'_ He thought murderously as he wrenched the door open to reveal a tired, but alert Erestor holding something in his hands.

"Glorfindel," Erestor's voice held in it restrained fury, a tone that was in itself a warning alongside the careful enunciation of his name, "Someone made an attempt on Raina's life last night."

"Someone _what_." The lingering exhaustion refused to let the words sink in properly, prompting a strong reaction from Erestor that even he wasn't expecting. Nimble hands held up the thing in his hands and the solid crack of sound immediately preceded the sharp, strong scent of clove violating his sense of smell.

Holding it there, batting Glorfindel's swipe with one hand Erestor repeated forcefully, "Someone made an attempt on Raina's life."

Blinking as his eyes burned from the strong smell of clove, Glorfindel's mind and instincts sprang out of the need for rest and the surge of adrenaline fused with anger snapped him into full alertness. "Did you awaken Belinniel or Elrond's sons yet?"

"I came to you first, they are next." Erestor replied savagely, "You need to manage the guard, I'll take care of the city."

"Five minutes I will be in the War room expecting a full report on what has been discovered." Glorfindel said stepping back and closing his door almost on Erestor's nose.

Fury lanced through his nerves and quickened his movements. Raina held a delicate position in the city, and with the pregnancy they had been taking steps to protect her and failed. Someone's head was going to roll for that, he decided furiously as he pulled on his leather breeches and boots before wrapping himself into his jerkin. The fact that Raina had become as near to a daughter that he had, likely played into his anger, Glorfindel reasoned, as he ran a brush through his hair before binding it out of his way.

However, she was Consort of Rivendell in addition to the fact she was dear to a longtime friend and that meant it was his duty to ensure her safety. That someone had slipped through his carefully laid nets was insulting and would be handled forthwith. He paused at the near-dawn light peeking innocently through the window of his rooms. "With the dawn comes the truth. Whoever you are, I will find you."

It would take considerably more than five minutes to gather the key players into the circular room that was nicknamed the 'War Room'. It was a comfortable space, with a large circular table in the center which held on it a pot of steaming water and several bowls for tea around it. Glorfindel sat nursing what was clearly not his first cup as the others arrived. The twins looked at best disheveled and the fact that neither of them were particularly energetic was unusual.

"What do we know about the last say forty-eight hours?" Erestor said looking between them trying to piece together fact from fiction.

"We know that Raina had her usual chess game with Nikki, and the usual dessert afterwards." Elrohir said rubbing his forehead before reaching for his tea again.

"Nothing out of the ordinary there." Erestor agreed frowning a bit. "And they were joined for a time by Gandalf."

"Which also isn't anything unusual." Belinniel pointed out, "Since he invites himself into all kinds of matters on his own volition."

"True, also." Elladan said thoughtfully, "Has Father come out of his rooms at all since the discovery?"

"No." Erestor replied archly, "Not since rousing me out of my bed which coincided with his first and only trip to the healing halls to gather supplies that he hoped would help him in his quest."

"Has he eaten?" Elladan pressed, his darkened gaze intently focused on Erestor, "You know how he gets when he focuses in on one thing, in this case healing Raina."

"After we finish, you can bring him something from the kitchens if you like. I do not know what sort of temperament you will find in him as he was already exhausted after the attack the Rangers had just barely survived.

"I will." Elladan said thoughtfully, "What troubles me is that there is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary within the last two days."

"Not entirely true, though this may be revealing more than anyone else wants to know." Elrohir shook his head at Elladan as he reluctantly revealed the source of their lack of energy, "Only in the last season maybe two seasons that Ithiliwien has started coming back to the main grounds. She was visiting us last night." He said sidestepping exactly what the visit entailed.

"Interesting, has anything unusual gone on about that?" Glorfindel inquired carefully, knowing that the twins were masking some truth that they were uninterested in being confronted about.

"A little too much wine, perhaps and she was pretty interested in pouring liberally." Elladan shook his head, still sidestepping full disclosure.

"That would be last night, then." Erestor said putting together why the twins both looked slightly hung over that morning.

"Yesterday afternoon into the evening I suppose would be a fairer statement." Elladan answered uncomfortably, not quite willing to meet Erestor's piercing gaze.

"Curious but we will leave that fact in this room." Erestor decided, recognizing that such a fact did not need to become even rumored to be possibly true.

"Thank you." Elladan inclined his head as the conversation returned to the dire topic at hand, "Does he know what it was at all?"

"Some sort of ingested poison." Erestor shook his head "And Raina's only half-lucid at best which means anything she says is just as likely to be resulting from her mental acuity as to be true."

"I am going to go walk around the grounds, someone saw something, heard something or found something I am sure of it." Elladan said, getting to his feet, "Sitting around this table ruminating is only giving whoever is responsible for this more time to get rid of evidence."

"Jason, how are you feeling?" Destiny asked, trying to mask the fact that she had been fighting a losing battle with her emotions off and on for the last hour she had been sitting near his sickbed.

"Don't worry about me, what's wrong?" Jason asked turning his head so that he could see her. There was no masking the fact that something was wrong, beyond the fact that he had been injured in the attack. Destiny worried about his safety as a rule, though this was clearly much more.

"It-its Raina." Destiny's breath hitched as fresh tears swam in her eyes, "Not even Lord Elrond knows what's wrong, Jase." Her voice trembled as she tried to hold his gaze and couldn't, looking toward the open window. She was only half aware of the strong grip of his hand wrapping around hers in a firm hold.

"Come here," Jason said roughly, moving over in the bed using his uninjured arm to pull her hand to drag her to him. When she was finally in the sickbed with him, the fragile dam broke against his shoulder. "She's strong," He reminded her as she shook with pent- up worry and fear. "She's going to be fine." He said wincing as his injured shoulder jolted with her shuddering sobs. '_You had better be.'_ He thought to the ceiling as he let Destiny cry out her emotions against his shoulder. "Hey," he said rubbing her shoulder, "Let's get something clear, Raina's the toughest person I've ever known. If anyone can pull through it'll be her."

"I - I know but -." Destiny's voice was muffled as he kissed the top of her head gently.

"No buts about it." Jason said firmly, knowing that one of them had to believe in Raina. Words and belief held a strange power in the world that they now called home. "Raina's going to pull through." He said against her hair, "Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow morning but that little hell-cat's going to get up one day soon raring to kick some serious ass. And me, I'm getting out of her way when she finds out who dared try to harm her or the baby." He reminded her gently, "If there's one thing Raina's going to live for its that baby." He said firmly, running his fingers through her hair. "And anyone who tries to take either of them from Lord Elrond I am certain is going to face his wrath."

Destiny nodded and curled against him, looking at the strong jaw line and rested her hand on his chest, "I didn't rip any stitching or anything did I?" she said as the realization that he was supposed to be resting in peace.

"No, stay here." He said wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "The kids are safe and sound I'm sure. They're probably with your sister if I know Nikki. And I'll rest better if you're with me." Jason didn't add the fact that he was equally sure that Destiny wasn't going to rest without him by her side. Destiny was feeling very vulnerable and shaken by the unfolding events Jason knew better than to tease her, knowing very well that she was already emotionally and mentally exhausted.

Hours later, the healer who entered the room in order to change the dressing on the man's shoulder found both of them curled together sound asleep. Destiny's head rested on his chest, she curled catlike around his body both receiving and giving comfort to the other. The connection between the two was unmistakable, her hands were splayed against the man's broad chest and his other hand was wrapped around her side. It was with reluctance that the healer-trainee was stirring Destiny awake in order to tend to her duties in regards to the man's injuries.

"This man will be able to leave perhaps morning after next." The healer spoke in careful common to the woman smiling gently, "His youth and strength work in his favor."

"Thank you for all you have done." Destiny said getting up with a faint smile. "I am going to go see about my children and then check in with Nikki."

Leaves dropped in a scattering pattern across the grass as if being discarded from the kitchens. It was a common enough occurrence that no one seemed to notice the leaves falling in a gentle cascade onto the grass. Of course, the fact that the person was clad in the garb of the gardeners likely had the same illusory effect that was desired. In fact the leaves were the remnants of the same plant that had been slipped into the kitchens for use in the dessert. Because no one had seen her or Lord Elrond, the figure surmised as the last of the leaves dropped onto the grass near the plants that the desired effect was already in-progress.

Slipping out of the gardens just at the noisy brood were coming in appearing in fact still as just another gardener she turned to watch as the young children preceded the entrance of the two women who were talking over something at a breakneck speed that could not be understood at the distance that stood between the figure and the two women.

Just out of sight of the two, seeing the youngest male, (whose name didn't matter to her),, the pair of eyes watched as the child's fist lifted several of the leaves that had just been dropped onto the ground, shoved them into his mouth and was chewing on them unknowingly.


	89. Chapter 89

The heavy door of his study closed behind him with a familiar click of the latch, a sound so familiar that he could hear the very lightest nudges of the handle from the other side. Elrond leaned against the door battling down the rising tide of emotions that he did not have time to process. He knew the individual sensations well; the burn of rage, the bitter bite of despair and grief, the choking fear that had taken up residence at the pit of his stomach. Walking to his chair, large and comfortable as it was, Elrond set his head down on the desktop and allowed himself the luxury of falling into the storm of emotions raging underneath the calm surface of his appearance.

Underneath the anger was a far more sinister emotion, that of lingering grief. He had known love, and had that love taken from him in various and sometimes bitter ways. His parents, in their desperation to find help for a world too soon damned otherwise had chosen to stay in Valinor. Maglor who had learned in an instant the meaning of pity and compassion looking at himself and Elros trying to hide from the seven sons of Feanor. Elros, upon learning their ability to choose which of the races to be counted among and had chosen men; and like all men had died years ago leaving him with part of his soul missing it felt like at times. Gil-Galad, once the bearer of Vilya himself, and counted prized among the friends that Elrond had; his death upon the battlefield was still a memory that haunted his unguarded moments. Celebrian, the bright star of a time of grief and pain had chosen for her own well-being to sail. A bitter comfort in relation to Celebrian was the certain knowledge that they would be reunited when he too, boarded the white ships.

Raina, she was the unlikely spark that had lit the flame of forgotten need in his spirit. The fact that someone dared spew hatred at her, despite everything that had been done to shield her from unnecessary dangers infuriated him. Heated rage warred with his fear for her. This silent, sneak attack only proved how fragile her life was - Raina leaned toward being reckless with her own but fiercely protective of the one that together they had created. Elrond was certain that Raina would never intentionally permit harm to come to their child. Her fear had bordered on terror as her eyes had focused on him for an instant before unconsciousness had stolen her from him. Elrond's head rested on his arms, which he didn't remember placing on his desk warring with himself for control over his reactions, his thoughts, and fears.

_Don't you leave me now._ Elrond gave silent wings to the fear clawing at his heart with sinking talons and ripping grip. _Not when you held a part of me that I did not know was missing before meeting you._ He had been heedless of the contents of the decanter he had poured from, and the scent and subsequent taste revealed it to be a decanter of buttered rum. _I'm not at all ready to let go of you; not when your laughter brightens a difficult day, your hands erase strain I did not realize I still carried._

Downing the contents, Elrond set the glass down on the breakfront in order to pour a second glass of the decanter. It was probably foolish to drink on an empty stomach, and he found that for the moment he did not care. It would dull the claws ripping at his insides long enough that he could maybe rest before someone else tried to maim, murder or malign the residents of his city.

Gandalf pushed Elrond's study door open after he'd been answered by silence. Inside, he found the despondent elf lord with his head on his desk, an empty decanter of buttered rum and a used glass at his hand. Stepping within the confines of the room he found remarkably little destruction. It seemed, as was his custom, Elrond's destruction was internal and only the disheveled appearance gave away the level of distress he was lost within. Shaking Elrond's shoulder gently, and catching the fist slung half-drunkenly at him he smiled as the hazy grey eyes blinked reluctantly into focus. "Come now friend, we have work to do." Gandalf said smiling gently as Elrond leaned against the back of the chair. "Buttered rum and you didn't invite me?" The wizard tried for levity knowing that Elrond was in a perilous sort of mood that was edging toward a second round of the emotional firestorm that had led to the drunken haze that was plaguing his mind currently.

"Well you were not here." Elrond replied dryly as he ran his hands over his face and tried to shake loose the cobwebs that had taken up residence in his mind and found them scattered as if on the wind by the realization that the early morning had not been a terrible dream. "Has something happened?" He pushed the haze back forcefully looking at Gandalf.

"Actually, yes." Gandalf said slowly, "Two separate incidents after the situation with Raina. The first, appears to be the childlike affliction of eating too much of something and giving one's self a bellyache and the other has one of the assistants in the kitchen suffering symptoms that I find peculiar for an elf." He hesitated, even as a wizard the stoked temper of a ring-bearer of the elves was not something lightly trifled with. "Severe stomach cramps, dizzy spells and a need to violently expel excrement."

"Peculiar, did you come thinking I would be needed?" Elrond asked leaning into the back of the chair, not convinced that he wanted to move just yet from the safety of the seat. His senses were still slightly reeling from the amount of alcohol he'd consumed in a short time, which made him slightly light headed and loose-limbed.

"No, no your assistant, Miriwen decided that she needed you to be informed is all. However, if you are well enough together we may consider first looking in on your consort and beginning to investigate what may be going on." Gandalf said as Elrond wrestled his way to his feet, "And perhaps something to eat to go with your rum." He added mildly and his grin broadened at the withering look from the elf.

"Clever words from the man who is never dressed for dinner at my table, yet I invite you at every turn." Elrond replied mildly as he smoothed the crumpled robes and bent to right a toppled chair frowning at it as he didn't recall knocking it over in the first place. "First I want to see if Raina's alert and from there I will inquire if Erestor has any news for me."

Erestor strode down the corridor, his gait did not betray his sense of urgency, nor did his features betray his fury. To the casual observer, he was merely going about his day as he did every day. The chief difference, on this early dawn, he was not merely the Chief Counselor heading to the kitchens for his tray of pastries and the pot of tea that sat comfortingly at the breakfront during working hours. To the public, Elrond had carefully and meticulously woven the elf, always present and yet on the surface the harmless appearance of a desk-rider rather than a horseman had been flawlessly cultivated. As he walked, his dark eyes took in every subtle shift in the city's appearance, from whose time was spent where and the fact that Ithiliwien was draping herself almost obscenely over the back of Elrohir's chair caught his attention but, currently he had a bigger problem than the loose manners of an elven noblewoman. That didn't mean that he wouldn't take the opportunity to keep an eye out on it as Elrohir was not known for being indiscreet. In fact, Erestor realized as he was innocently preparing a mug of tea nearby to ward off the morning chill, he could not remember a time until recently since Celebrian's sailing that Ithiliwien had spent much time among the social circles of old, claiming that seeing everyone was painful because of the reminder of her friend.

Slipping away, the small nugget of information wriggling at his mind as he strode to the kitchen because of the reported illness of one of the kitchen staff. Upon arrival he was met by the distressed chef, because everything that went on in the kitchen were his responsibility, and he approached first, "Oh thank the Star-Lady it's you, I was afraid Lord Elrond would come here himself." he exclaimed, his voice trembling in his distress.

"Lord Elrond has a more pressing focus than your troubles." Erestor replied smoothly as he looked around the space with an expert eye for anything obviously amiss.

"The Lady, is - is she going to be well?" the chef's fondness for Raina was well-known in part because Raina indulged often his whims, and the favoritism was subtle as he prepared with frequency her favorite of the desserts something only done for those he cared most for.

"I do not know." Erestor replied tartly, "The Valar willing she will recover." He chose the polite sidestep of an answer as he saw nothing on the surface unusual. He had slipped into the storage area, focusing first on the dried goods, what he was looking for directly Erestor could not say. The kitchen looked, as it always did in impeccable order, without even scraps of waste on the floor. Hidden, he was looking over the upper shelves when a disturbance in the kitchen caught his attention away from the count of herbs on the shelves.

"You! What are you doing in my kitchen again?!" Erestor turned reflexively toward the door, which was cracked just enough that he could see out but could not be seen from the other side due to his position at the chef's raised voice.

"I'd like to know what you're still doing in a kitchen!" Nikki shot back and her pale cheeks were flush as anger colored her cheeks red. "Since not only does my sister fall ill - but one of your staff is in the Healing Halls with similar symptoms!"

"Its my kitchen!" the chef fired back as Erestor blinked, recognizing the majority of the contents but found a fragment of a leaf that did not belong. It was a curling, clearly fresh partial leaf in amongst the dried stores. Carefully, and quietly as to not disturb anyone with his discovery; he slipped the fragment into a small cloth and tucked it into his pocket as the argument was escalating. Curious, he wanted to see what Nikki's temper could reveal to the more trained ear aside from her irate state over the condition of her sister. Nikki had good, solid instincts and even though she for some infernal reason chose to ignore them; the words that were spawned from them often spewed from her lips.

"I don't know what game you're playing but the next time any of my children fall ill eating from your kitchen it'll be the last time you'll be cooking!" Nikki shouted hitting a low, but honest blow that had Erestor deciding that it was enough and time to settle their quarrel before the chaos spread among the city.

"That is quite enough from you both." His voice was quiet, but the bladed edge was similar enough to Raina's that Nikki stared wide-eyed as if a doe caught in full view of the hunter. "Now, if I can hear you both behind the closed door of the store-room who knows how far your voices carried and what rumors you spawned with this." He was not angry, but Nikki had revealed a few facts that he had not known of yet. "Walk with me, I have a question for you." He said taking Nikki by the arm firmly steering her back out of the kitchen.

"Do you mind!" Nikki fumed furiously yanking her arm free as the kitchen door closed behind them, "I do not need you or anyone else leading me around like an errant child!"

Erestor smirked internally, even if his face didn't show it studying her, "Now, what was this about your child?" He changed the subject smoothly, though part of him idly, and wildly inappropriately wondered what else could get her riled up.

"Cayden woke up Tommy and me last at some god-awful hour screaming because his stomach hurt. Now, he's not normally a fussy boy so that alone was a strange thing. The only thing we did out of the ordinary was have chocolate mousse because all of the little ones did so well at riding that Destiny and I thought to give them a treat."

"Chocolate mousse." Erestor mused thoughtfully even as his mind added the new information to what he had already known, "You and Raina had something with chocolate the same afternoon she fell ill didn't you?"

"Come to think of it we did." Nikki confirmed frowning, "And now that you've got me thinking we were in one of the gardens and he was chewing on leaves - I'm very careful which gardens we go into because he thinks everything is for eating."

"That's perfectly normal for a boy." Erestor allowed himself a moment of rare amusement, "But what kind of leaves was it?"

"Well it shouldn't have been toxic." Nikki was defensive, drawing her arms over her chest, indicating to his expert eye at body language that someone had already accused her of that. "I never take the children into the herb gardens or the ones I know are for the purpose of Lord Elrond's healing brews for that reason."

"No one said you did." Erestor said reasonably, watching as her features darkened, "Which one did you go into, perhaps there is something there that should not have been."

His words were something of a comfort to Nikki who brightened despite the clear evidence of lingering hurt. "We were in the garden with the hawthorn and the bit of briar thorn, neither of which the children ever pull leaves off of after Cayden discovered briar thorn is bitter."

"And just to be completely clear," Erestor was being as gentle as he could as he had picked up on Nikki's defensiveness easily about any implication that she would not be tending her children properly, "You were not in the herb gardens?"

"Absolutely not!" Nikki glared up at him furiously, "I just said that! And I repeat myself again that I know Cayden's still in the hand-mouth phase so I don't take him in any of the herb gardens. For heaven's sake I spend any of my spare time reading up on the plants just for that reason - I want to know what can be eaten, how it can be eaten and if it should be eaten!"

"Whoa," Erestor protested placing his hand on her shoulder in an effort to slow her rant, "I am not insinuating that you would do that, I just wanted to eliminate the possibilities of which of the gardens to look in. Would you like to accompany me where you had gone yesterday with the children, and see if we cannot identify what he ingested so that you can get the proper medicine to take back home?"

"Sure, what's another hour in returning home when its already probably been too long." Nikki sighed looking up at Erestor, tempted to say something else but stopped herself before turning toward the corridor which would lead them to the gardens. "We took the path past the roses, Mandy loves looking at the blossoms and there's so little for her to do at times I have a hard time telling her no when she wants to look at them." Nikki mused retracing her steps, stopping suddenly and lowered her voice as a thought overrode her fatigue for a moment, "Ok, why are you so interested in my child's temporary illness?"

"Because those symptoms very neatly mimic the ones that Elrond described to me." Erestor lowered his voice and focused his dark eyes on her pale ones, "And if that's the case it stands to reason the ingested poison could be similar." Erestor found that it was easier to level with Nikki than attempt to concoct a lie to mask his investigation.

"Oh my god." Nikki raked her hands though her hair and the implication, "This is bigger than just Cayden having a bellyache, you think whoever it was is spreading a bigger web than merely harming Raina and the baby."

"Yes." Erestor said as he gestured for her to continue, "And anything you can show me, might lead me on the path to being able to help Elrond save her and the baby before we lose both." He saw her step quicken and in turn lengthened his stride to match it.

"We were over here, and someone in gardeners clothing was spreading out what looked like mulch – you know brown leaves so I didn't think anything of it." Nikki said trying to remember where Cayden had gotten into the leaves that she had fished out of his mouth on the way to their home. "Over here," She said kneeling in the grass and beginning to rummage around under one of the hawthorn bushes looking for a trace of the leaves she had found in Cayden's mouth. "Nothing, I was sure it was over here." She was growing tired and Erestor could see the stress lines appearing between her brows, and it was very clear Nikki needed the opportunity to rest, and soon.

"You go back to your children," Erestor suggested gently, realizing that the longer she were away from them the more edgy and anxious Nikki appeared, almost fretful. "If I find out what the remedy is before he recovers on his own, I will see that the doses for the little one are brought to you."

"You're right, I've been gone much too long as it is." Bowing slightly Nikki turned and hurried away from Erestor who watched her leave with a sense of an emotion that was near-pity. Out of the younger five, Nikki reminded him most closely to the eldest sibling, possessing a resilience and subtle strength that could be intimidating to a lesser man. He knew little of the man, except that like most in the region he was training with the Dunadain. Yet, there was a wall when one mentioned Tommy. It was a puzzle that he would set the pieces together later he was sure.

Erestor explored the gardens that Nikki had told him of and focused his attention near the briar thorn and hawthorn bushes. Nothing appeared at a glance amiss but then, the person in question was barely at his knees in size which prompted Erestor to sit down on the grass and try to let his mind view the world as the young one might have. That meant touching everything, and running his hands under everything. Only as he was about to decide that Nikki's words had been the fretting of a mother worried for her child, his hand curled against a leaf that wasn't shaped like the briar thorn bush. Withdrawing his hand, he saw that the dried leaf looked similar to the one carefully wrapped in his pocket. He placed the leaf in a separate cloth and headed at a full easy stride to where he could more closely examine the dried leaves. Maybe... just maybe the child's sickness was the key.


	90. Chapter 90

/Author's note: Wow! Much too long between updates and I'm sorry about that. Two quick notes before I let you all go onto the good stuff (and who doesn't want to get to the good stuff?) One, Glorybee is my #1 lady for my final beta duties and I've never been disappointed (she catches the sneaky things that I miss); Geminifatcat is one of my closest friends and as deadly to my writing armed with a red pen as Glorybee is. And two, please feel free to read, review and PM if you don't want to make it public - I'm itching to know what people think of the direction its going. - Silentdovesong

Chapter Ninety

Nikki could hear Cayden's crying before she even reached the gate, where she met Mandy's teary gaze as she came through and closed it behind her. "Mama, Cayden won't stop. What's happened to him?"

"I don't know, sweetie, I went to see if there's medicine and the elves are looking for me." She said pausing to smooth Mandy's hair back from her face, "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm okay," Mandy managed a small smile, "I just want Cayden to get better so Daddy'll stop being so grouchy. Why does he do that? Every time, I mean really..." She trailed off under her mother's contemplative look.

"I don't know, sweetheart, but it'll be okay. Would you run and see if Aunt Destiny has any bread, with Cayden ill I didn't even think to make any to go with dinner." She suggested thinking up a task that Mandy could do without either of her parents.

"I can do that." Mandy squared her shoulders and wiped her face on her sleeves, making Nikki wince slightly, "I'll be back soon."

"Take your time," Nikki added as she watched the precocious child head out the gate. She secured it behind Mandy before turning toward the house, bracing herself for yet another disagreement behind closed doors. "I wish sometimes I wasn't the only one that really grew up." She muttered darkly under her breath as she opened the door to step inside.

"Where have you been?" Tommy demanded as Nikki closed the door to their house. "He's been crying almost non-stop since you left," he added accusingly. "I've already missed practice today and that means tomorrow will be even longer for me."

"I went to try to find something to ease Cayden's stomach, which if you ever listened to me for more than a minute you'd have known." Nikki shot back, glaring at him. "As for your precious practices, it's not like you're taking them very seriously since you've missed four in as many weeks!"

"Like you'd know anything about what I do, you're never home when I am! And when you are it's always this book, or that book, or Belinniel says." He glowered at her, "What about me and the kids?"

"What about you and the kids," Nikki shot back at him angrily. "I spend eighty percent of my time with the kids, teaching them what I can, finding appropriate teachers for things that I can't – like horseback riding. Which if you ever took an interest in your daughter you'd know she's getting pretty damn good at it!" She took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down, her upset was only going to exacerbate Cayden's screaming from the back bedroom. "As for your son, he's still in the crayon-eating stage, which means if I'm not watching him, which is most of the time might I add, someone else is. And that someone is usually his aunt, not his father," she threw the nugget at him as her eyes burned. "So don't you even fucking dare try to tell me I'm an inattentive parent, Thomas Patrick, because since we've gotten dumped here your parenting habits have gone to shit!"

Tommy turned toward her and Nikki caught the jealous glint that had always caused a myriad of problems in their relationship, to the point it had cost her friendships of both sexes. "The real question isn't what I'm doing, Nikki but what you're doing? You can't possibly be training that whole time with the elf." He took another step forward and Nikki willed herself to stay put when every instinct screamed to get out of the room in order to escape the bitter, scornful an mean spirited, which was becoming more often the case with every passing day. "You're off with one of the elves, getting whatever it is you think you need from them when I'm off actually trying to make a living. You're getting it done the same way everyone always said you did before we got back together. Whoring around, who is it? Elladan or the advisor that's always lurking around when you're in the main grounds? Is that why you're never home to tend to our needs?"

Nikki's hurt dissolved into anger, "You mean your needs. Because I make damn sure that there's food on the table, that there's clean clothes to wear, I'm even learning how to –make- clothing so the expenses there are lower. It's a damn shame I'm not equipped with a father's love and affection because if I did I wouldn't have to stand here and listen to this steaming pile of horse shit!" Fury dried her tears, as she sucked in a deep breath to steady herself, "Because I haven't done anything but since you're standing here with your self-righteous ego waving the 'Man Flag' you can make your own goddamn dinner, the kids and I'll eat later!"

"Well if waving my 'man flag' gets me rid of a sanctimonious whoring bitch like you maybe I'm better off." He spat disgustedly at her as Nikki spun on her heel and headed toward Cayden's room without a word.

Nikki was, for the first time thankful for the amount of time Belinniel had spent forcing her to learn how to control her temper. By the time she arrived at Cayden's room and taken two deep breaths she was calm enough to begin trying to calm down the sobbing child. Nikki crossed the room and first felt his forehead for fever and saw that he was clammy and cold, trembling and gearing up for another screaming fit as her hands registered the solid, painful cramp of the boy's stomach.

"Mama." Cayden's dark eyes were his father's and the pitiful look was enough to make Nikki want to cry all over again."Belly,"

"I know, baby." she soothed grabbing Cayden's battered bunny and blanket to wrap him in the blanket and picked him up off his bed. "Come on sweetie, we're going to go walk and see if maybe that soothes your belly."

"You're not taking my son anywhere." There was a furious note in Tommy's voice as Nikki turned with one hand on the doorknob glaring at him.

"Newsflash, Tommy. He's my son and it'll be a cold day in hell before I leave him here with you to cry himself exhausted. Don't bother coming to talk to me until you fly out of Never Land." she said, jerking the door open and slamming it shut as she hurried down the path that led to the gate.

Nikki was in such a hurry to get away from the house, to outrun the hurt threatening to churn up into a tempest of emotions sure to leave her emotionally exhausted; that she hadn't even realized that anyone else was even on the same path she was until she collided bodily with someone.

"Hey, easy honey what's the matter?" Jason's worried voice zinged over Nikki's frazzled nerves as he caught hold of her arm to steady her without letting Cayden drop to the ground. "Whoa little man," he said as Cayden nearly climbed over Nikki's shoulder to get to him, twisting his body to catch the boy. "Whatever happened?" He asked steering her toward the nearby house that he and Destiny had found for themselves.

"I don't want to talk about it." Nikki said, fighting back the wave of tears as they were walking.

"I get that." Jason agreed amiably knowing very well that even if Nikki refused to talk to him, there was no avoiding talking to Destiny. At least not the way his wife had all but shoved him out the door. "Anything I can do to help?" he asked as Cayden nuzzled into his shoulder as if trying to go to sleep.

'You already did more in ten minutes than Tommy did in an hour." Nikki said feeling a twisting knife of jealousy in her chest. "Cayden has been up since early this morning screaming about his belly hurting."

"Maybe he'll settle down now." Jason said soothingly, nudging Nikki toward the kitchen were he knew Destiny had the other children settling in for a snack. "Go on in there, I've got little man here. I'm hoping he'll sleep a little bit." He said reassuringly heading to the bedroom that was set up for his own son.

"Mommy!" Mandy abandoned her snack and launched herself at Nikki, who forced her tears back as she caught Mandy in a hug.

"Yes?" She asked as she shook her head in answer to her twin's silent question. "Later." she mouthed over Mandy's head smiling a bit as the girl's arms tightened further.

Destiny nodded and smiled, "Looks like we're having sleepover tonight," she said drawing Mandy's attention back to her, "Come on, eat you all while I go find blankets," she said pulling Nikki by the arm waiting until they were out of sight of the kids before looking at her. "Okay you, spill it." She said looking intently at her twin.

Nikki leaned on the wall and swallowed the painful lump in her throat, "I can't." she whispered closing her eyes against the swell of hurt and sorrow, "Des, we haven't fought like that in years."

"Take a deep breath, you and the kids can stay here as long as you need to. Besides the kids love being together so it's not like it's a big deal."

"Cayden's sound asleep, for now." Jason said looking between the two of them, "And Destiny's right you three are welcome to stay here as long as you need to."

"You're going to leave things alone too." Destiny warned him pointing a finger at Jason who held up his hands in the universal gesture of surrender.

"Of course I will." Jason protested, "Let's just get through tonight and go from there, okay? Everything looks better after a decent meal and a few hours of sleep."

"If you're looking for my wife," I slurred glaring up at the elf standing on my doorstep with an annoyed look on his face, "You'll be disappointed to know she's not here." I took a sip of the glass of fine whiskey I'd been drinking since my idiot of a wife had left the house in a huff. "You might try your bedroom if you're actually looking for her."

"I believe," The elf spoke slowly and in measured spacing, "That I am going to pretend, for your benefit that you did not just insult, not only my moral fiber but that of your wife." Erestor was annoyed, that even I could see but I wanted to provoke a fight, since Nikki was disinclined to give me one, instead taking the kids and leaving.

"Well if you didn't come here to accost my wife, and steal her time from me what do you want?" I demanded belligerently.

"She had gone in search of medicine for her son's stomach that he might get a few hours rest." Erestor replied patiently, forcefully ignoring the comments made by the drunken man, "And, I shall not ask you again to kindly refrain from being so inconsiderate about the wife who loves you." Erestor glowered darkly, his stare cold. "If she isn't here, then where is she, the child needs the medicine regardless of your state of mind."

"What's it to you where the morally bankrupt harlot takes herself, even if it is my business what she does with my kids." I snarled as the elf didn't respond to my comment, refraining from giving me the fight I was spoiling for.

"You need to put the glass down, and sleep this off before you do something more ridiculous than attempting to pick a fight you cannot win." Erestor's tone was unfailingly, annoyingly polite even as I realized too late that my hand had been relieved of my glass and I didn't know until it was done.

"What the hell, man seriously?" I slurred weaving on my feet, and placed one hand on the doorframe, curling my fingers around it for balance. "First the woman now my drink, what gives?"

"Go to bed, Mister Oliver." There was a firm edge to the elf's voice I didn't like, as he continued speaking, "Go sleep off this drunken tantrum and then try to repair whatever disagreement you had with Nichole." he said tightly glaring at me. "I will insist, however that you cease this sort of disrespectful tone and word choices about her. She is, for whatever else you might feel, the mother of your two children and they deserve better than this." He gestured at me with a dismissive flip of one hand. "However, before I leave you to your bed, do you have an idea where she might be so that I can deliver the medicine for the child and return to my own duties, or shall I see if I do actually have the ability to figure it out on my own?"

I shrugged, wishing that he hadn't taken my drink away, as I'd have delighted in tossing it on the too-perfect robes, in the too-perfect face. I wanted it back, if only to have something besides the doorjamb to hold onto and lunged for it and found my wrist caught and the doorframe filled by the slight elf so it seemed. "I don't know and I don't care she can sleep in the garden out back of the house it won't be my bed again." I slurred at him as the grip on my wrist tightened.

"You have had more than enough of that, if you are expecting me to tolerate this any longer." Infuriatingly, Erestor was too damn calm and his voice was cool, distanced even as I looked up at him. "You can barely stand up, you need to get in your bed and sleep, then suffer the indignity of the hangover I am certain will keep you bedridden tomorrow. Later find and apologize for whatever nonsense you said to your wife that caused her to choose to walk away from what was clearly a very vicious fight." He drew in a deeper breath forcing himself to not breathe in the plume of alcohol, "Particularly as you have made no less than three attempts to pick a fight with me, over something that does not exist. It exists only in your mind."

"No," I insisted scowling at the immovable elf and shoved him roughly, "It is not in my head! Why does everyone insinuate everything's in my head? I know what I see and what I see tells me she's never changed, or else I was blind to it till now!" I pushed aiming to push the elf out of my way, preferably off my porch. "I see you always lurking, in the background where you think you're not noticed, the way you stare at my wife," I said insistently jabbing at his chest, wide-eyed as the next thing I was aware of was being in a strong choke-hold on my knees nearly blindfolded by the dark robes the elf wore.

Erestor's voice was a low, threatening hiss as he spoke in my ear, "I will tolerate much insolence, young man but I cannot and I will not abide the behavior that you have displayed tonight. Not only have you insulted me, a thing I can swallow with effort but you have disrespected, disparaged and clearly opened your drunken mouth when it should have shut and done what I told you in the first place. If there is one woman capable of the compassion, love and understanding of what it is to truly be a mother and mate it would be Nichole. She is one of the most loyal, selfless and forgiving women, human or elven I have ever known. You have no concept of the sacrifices she makes every day. For you. For the children she adores." Erestor was shaking with the effort to contain his temper, I realized squirming trying to get my feet under me enough to get balanced to toss him off and preferably on his own ass.

"How dare you," I ground out trying to get my feet up under me, quite sure if I could I would be free of the humiliating grip. "Speak of sacrifice on her behalf. What do you know of sacrifice, or the ones I've made for them. The time I spend away from them so they'll need nothing. And you tell me she sacrifices? The least she could do is be at home when I am!"

Erestor's growl was deep, threatening and yet his control never wavered as he breathed in the pungent aroma of the whiskey, "I am certain I am more than qualified to speak to you of sacrifice you ungrateful mongrel bastard. If I were anyone else, human even, I would degrade myself to continue this debacle of an argument because to reach your mediocre level of intelligence would be an insult to the words necessary." He uttered a disgusted sound and with a graceful flip had me sprawling in the floor of the foyer on my hands and knees. By the time I had found my balance to turn around, the door was shut and I was alone.

"What troubles lead a good elf such as yourself from his peaceful rest in a valley woven with magic expressly with the idea of peace into it?" Mithrandir, often called Gandalf approached the standing elf standing with his brightly golden hair shining out against the moonlight.

Glorfindel turned with a faint, troubled smile toward the wizard, "My heart lays heavily in my breast this night, Mithrandir. Some sickness brings about madness into the very heart of the city-realm of Elrond Half-Elven whom I pledged to serve with all the splendor at my disposal and yet... his city silently teems with some sickness some madness that steals more life from his home? How can I face someone I count as my friend, and a part of my extended chosen family, without any answers for him as to who would dare strike so close to his heart as to nick it?"

"As you have me," Gandalf replied evenly, "Tell him that you have no change to report yet are still scouring the realm for answers and as soon as you have them they will be laid upon his hands."

"Mithrandir," Glorfindel's voice was a quiet sorrowful music in the old wizard's ears, "He has barely eaten, I am not certain if he has rested - even Erestor who spends more time in Elrond's presence than anyone save for his sons or Arwen is not certain either. Albeit Erestor has barely done so himself, that I can attest to."

"Erestor will crash and burn as the night surrenders to the bright glare of day," Gandalf smiled faintly at the elf, "You two are an odd pair of friends, you know that."

Fondness for the darker elf shone through the sorrow-filled face briefly, "Erestor is not all night and blades though none who have faced his temper would agree with me. He is as loyal a friend as anyone I have known."

"And he shares the same dogged devotion to not only the city but to Elrond's family." Gandalf shook his head, "Something is out of place dear friend, and it needs to be found. It wants to be found."

"He is furious," Glorfindel said firmly turning so that the early night's moon framed him in its cool light. "Under that frosty veneer there is rage, Mithrandir that someone would slip the nets he so carefully strung up to protect one who has no intention of allowing herself to be protected." Anger flashed in pale blue eyes, "Someone slipped past all nets, and I will find out how, where and why."

The sound of muttering in an older dialect of elvish and the lightest possible elvish footsteps interrupted their discussion and both turned in time to see a still-seething Erestor appear in the archway leading into the patio. Swallowing his temper as it was not the source before him as he scowled forcing his tone to lean toward polite even though his mood was clearly not even close to civil, "Good evening you two."

"Oh my, you are angry. Whatever has you prepared to spit blacksmith's nails this evening?" Gandalf inquired. "Has something new transpired?"

"Outside of the fact that there is one man who is not yet in possession of his senses enough to know what it is he is in the process of throwing away." Erestor growled, "Nothing new at all."

"What do you mean precisely?" Glorfindel asked trying to focus Erestor's mind on his face knowing that if he could puncture the balloon of the temper there might be more to what Erestor learned than met the eye.

"Just one stupid, arrogant man who stands to lose more than he'll ever understand because he's a stupid wretch." Erestor growled shaking his head, "I went to deliver the medication that Nikki had asked about for her son's ailing stomach – the same symptoms to a milder degree than Raina had I might add – and promptly had my dignity impugned upon and had to listen to a drunken fool spew utter nonsense about his children's mother."

"Take a breath, before you actually hurt yourself." Glorfindel scolded him firmly as he took both of Erestor's hands into his own, "You are over-reacting, Erestor and this is not like you. I fear that the amount of stress you have allowed yourself to take on in the last few days due to Elrond's need for support already takes its toll."

"I suppose you are right," Erestor reluctantly agreed as the grip firmed with the slight twitch of his hands as if to break the hold, "I am certain I have all of the clues to all of these riddles and I just cannot fathom how to make the pieces fall in order."

"Perhaps fresh eyes and ears, are what is needed." Gandalf suggested knowing that between the two of them, Erestor and Glorfindel were privy to the vast majority of the private information that would not become public knowledge if either of them had anything to say about it. Take me back to the beginning, from the day of my arrival," He prodded Erestor, knowing that the riddle pieces would eat at Erestor until it had been answered.

"Some you know already, that it was an unremarkable day; Raina regularly plays chess with Nikki at least once a week. This is common knowledge as is the fact they regularly share a bite to eat afterwards. In this particular instance it was chocolate mousse if my memory is accurate. Late that evening there was the injured patrol coming in that took the Healers several hours to sort including Elrond," Glorfindel's hands released his slowly certain that Erestor was going to either pace or, more likely use his fingers to tally talking points as he spoke, "Who discovered her nearly unconscious on the floor in their rooms," He revealed counting off facts on his fingers, proving Glorfindel's unspoken suspicion, "His focus has, obviously been primarily on her health, neglecting nearly everything else including himself. There is the matter of Cayden, that is Nikki's son," He clarified looking to Gandalf with a shake of his head, "Whose symptoms are milder than Raina's but not unlike them, only he isn't old enough to properly express them at his age. What Nikki can determine is he has had a severe stomach ache, and accompanying cramps. She is certain that he chewed on these," He continued remembering the leaves that he had found under the bushes, placing the cloth on the table in the patio, opening it before placing a second one on the table, near it, "And these I found in the kitchens in an inappropriate place, with the fresh fruits and vegetables rather than the herbs." He said opening the second so that the other two could examine them, "The ones Nikki is sure of were found in the hawthorn and briarthorn gardens; these are not part of either plant. I do not recognize any of them but they are identical. I believe if we can identify source plant, we can do so much more than comfort the aching stomach of a child…" He trailed off as the sound of bells chimed at first softly and then grew louder of an alarm for the guards and he and Glorfindel exchanged a worried look.

"Both of you, go, I will examine your puzzling leaves friend and see what my mind reveals to me." Gandalf pressed both of them as the bell chime repeated which meant it was more than a minor incident.

Erestor paused before the door in the predawn light as he needed an extra couple of moments to gather his thoughts. The only person more startled to see him was the man, Jason who was up and dressed for the early practice, so it seemed. "Lord Erestor is something the matter?" He asked immediately on guard because he could see the troubled look on the advisor's face.

"Are Destiny and Nichole awake?" Erestor asked, side stepping the question carefully watching the man's expression.

"I think so, but I don't know how alert they are, it was a difficult night for both of them. I know Nikki hasn't slept much at all she was up pacing half the night." Jason revealed.

"Please bring them both out here, away from the children." Erestor said softly, unwilling to shatter the lingering innocence of the children's lives.

"Okay, you're being weirder than usual, give me a moment," Jason said to him and disappeared back into the house leaving Erestor with his thoughts.

"Erestor what's the matter? Nikki will be out here in a minute, she wanted to check on the children," Destiny said as she and Jason reappeared, the former pulling a heavier robe closed against the early morning chill.

Erestor's features darkened slightly as he realized that Nikki would know part of his revelation before he was ready for her to. "When she arrives out here, which I do not expect will take very long." He forced his voice to stay calm, even though he was deeply concerned.

Just then Nikki came flying out of the house, stumbling on one of the loose rocks on the path before catching herself and stopping short, realizing Erestor was still outside waiting. "I don't have time for whatever you've got to say, Mandy's not in the house, " she said without preamble and her panic was already coming to fruition after the events of the day before as she was aiming to walk around him without listening.

Erestor reached out and caught her arm and brought her around so that they were locked in a silent battle of wills but it was a time that he wasn't likely going to back down easily. "Firstly I know where Amanda is and second there is something more important that you need to know. Your husband has been involved in an accident resulting from an altercation with one of the elves here. She claims he attacked her over nothing and because he is dead, her story cannot be confirmed. Your daughter is currently in the custody of Lord Elrond's sons for two reasons. One, because we found her hiding in one of the tall sconces near the same hallway. She is with them because when she saw Glorfindel she began screaming hysterically. I do not know what she saw, but Elladan was able to quiet the screaming. I felt, in light of Lord Elrond's attendance of Raina that it was prudent to let them tend to her while I retrieved you both. Jason, if you need I can have you excused from practice."

Jason was shaking his head, "No, I want to keep things as normal as possible for the kids until we find out what all is going on. And if we change the routine whoever's behind the events going on wins thinking we are afraid. I will be back around dinner, or unless someone comes for me."

Destiny nodded, "Jason's right, I'll take care of Nikki and the kids and grab Wills and Kris to get them to help." She said using Willow's half-forgotten nickname, indicating that the relationship was beginning to mend. "You take Nikki and go to Mandy I'll get the other kids where they have to be and get things moving till I can meet up."

"Cayden too?" Nikki asked as the shock of Erestor's words ate through her fatigue and worry about Mandy knowing that she was safely out of danger with the twins.

"Duh, come on Nikki use your head." Destiny said putting her hand on her twin's shoulder, "I mean really did you think I'd leave the little man to fend for himself? Go help your girl I got him." she said clearly meaning Cayden.

"Thanks," Nikki said shakily as Erestor shifted his hand to guide her by one shoulder leaving the other two to begin their own tasks. "How bad is it?" she asked forcing the fatigue away from her mind as she looked up at Erestor.

"Bad enough," Erestor answered calmly, "Tell me was his temper generally restrained to you or did it bleed over to violence towards others?" he asked redirecting the flow of the conversation to what he needed to know.

"Depends, usually it was usually aimed at me or Jason - Tommy has a horrible jealous streak from the time we were first together. And such a temper at times, it used to make me so nervous especially after the children were born."

"What you have said then is that what she has said to Glorfindel and myself is that her account could be true." Erestor said carefully choosing his words.

"I'm saying he could have hit her but I quite highly doubt that he landed the first blow." Nikki shook her head, "Erestor, Tommy and I have screaming matches, had screaming matches." She corrected herself softly, "Not physical fights."

They had crossed the distance relatively easily through the grounds to where Elladan and Elrohir kept rooms for the time they were actually in residence. Erestor knocked gently on the door to find a harried, harassed-looking Elrohir on the other side. "You two are a sight for sore, tired eyes it has been a long evening."

"I am sorry the multiple layers of crisis in the city are keeping you two from your nocturnal activities." Erestor replied tartly, the tone so sharp that Nikki winced despite herself.

Elrohir was obviously in a rare mood as he glared at Erestor, "You didn't have to dump the child on us, you could have brought her to her mother and left us out of it."

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine on this crappy morning." Nikki retorted pushing past him as she heard the sound of Mandy's frightened and upset whimpering. "I'll be certain to ensure my children no longer harangue or inconvenience you." She shot over her shoulder as she stood behind Mandy's chair. Whatever had Elrohir in such a foul mood had clearly not affected Elladan's demeanor as he sat on the floor as Mandy clung to him tightly. The reflection of his twin, yet not his grey eyes focused on Nikki's devastated, yet controlled expression.

"Look," He murmured to Mandy trying to quiet her upset, "Erestor found your mother like he said." He nudged her gently to raise her head as Nikki put her hand on Mandy's shoulder.

"Mommy, I'm sorry its all my fault I should have stayed at Aunt Destiny's with you." Tears streamed out of her eyes as she shook trying to gulp in air. "If I had not missed Daddy and the fact I didn't have my bear nothing would have happened..."

"No," Nikki said taking a seat near them on the rug, "None of this is your fault." She said reaching to touch Mandy's hair, "None of it."

"That-that's what she said." Mandy said biting her lip, "That I was bad and I deserved what happened to Daddy to happen."

Nikki swallowed the burst of fury at whoever this 'she' was and reminded herself that losing her temper now was not going to be particularly conducive to any productive behavior, "I don't know who this 'she' is but I promise you it was not a thing you did that caused it. I know you told them, but tell me." She coaxed as Mandy rested her head on Elladan's shoulder sniffling slightly.

"I missed Daddy, I couldn't sleep - I tried I really tried. I wanted my good-night hug and my bear to cuddle," Mandy's voice wavered. "I didn't see anyone and I was going the same way home I always take - the one you and Aunt Destiny said I could because it was direct. I saw the lady sprinkling these leaves and sticks - I didn't know what they were so I picked up one to look at it and she chased me and started yelling I guess and I shouldn't have started running because she woke up Daddy or he was up I don't know - I didn't even get to say good-bye..." Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry I don't know what happened after I found a hiding place all I could hear was the words and hitting and I don't know who hit who or what but - but when I got pulled - pulled out - " Mandy's voice hiccupped and dissolved into another round of tears, hiding her face.

"Daddy was gone," Nikki finished her voice shaking as she fought to control her emotions, "Mandy, it'll be okay and it wasn't your fault." She stroked her hand through the girl's hair gently, "You didn't do anything besides want what every little girl wants."

"She's gonna come for me, she said so after I heard somebody fall." Mandy said looking up at Nikki, "I'm scared and I want to go home."

Anger chased Nikki's grief back and from his vantage point Elladan saw the fire in Nikki's eyes, fire that Mandy couldn't as she was buried into Nikki's shoulder, "No one is going to come for you." She said fiercely wrapping her arms around the shivering, exhausted girl, "Whoever this 'she' is, she's going to be in for the surprise of her life if she thinks she's going to so much as breathe in your general direction," she said curling so that Mandy was wrapped in her grip. "First things first we're going to get out of Elladan and Elrohir's hair and you're going to have a cup of cocoa and maybe a bite to eat then you're going to take a nap."

"But - I - I - " Mandy protested weakly.

"Amanda Rose," Nikki said firmly, "You will be perfectly safe where I place you for that nap." she said stroking her hair away from her face, "Do you really think your Uncle Jason or Aunt Destiny are going to let anything happen to you or any of the other little ones?" She smiled at Mandy's head shake, "If we hurry we can have the water and milk hot before he gets back from practice."

"Okay," Mandy agreed reluctantly letting Nikki get to her feet. "I am tired, kinda."

"You should be," Nikki said gently, "You've been up most of the early morning." it was only then that she realized that Erestor had been having a very quiet but very vehement argument with the more irritable twin. "I will meet up with you later, once I have my house in order, Erestor if that's all right."

"Go on I have a few matters to attend to, and an update meeting with Lord Elrond in less than an hour, " Erestor replied as he studied Nikki's face for a moment. It was the face of a woman who had been kicked to the ground, and staggering to her feet because she had to, not because she had any interest in it. "Perhaps after luncheon today?"

"Sounds like a good plan to me." Nikki said as she and Mandy left the rooms, closing the door behind them leaving the twosome with the very silent elf.

"What is it Erestor?" Elladan said getting up from the rug by the fireplace to watch the inscrutable expression on his face.

"I am not yet sure," Erestor said calmly, "Elrohir said Ithiliwen left your company around the hour of one in the morning?"

"Thereabouts," Elladan confirmed at his twin's annoyed snort, "She and I had a disagreement over the validity and welcome that has been extended by our father toward Raina, and her family." He shook his head slightly, "She remains very adamant in her disagreement, and though few of the nobles hold her view there are those who do."

Erestor's brow raised, "You do not believe that her disapproval has anything to do with the fact that Ithilwen was your mother's closest friend when she was here in Rivendell, a fact I suggest the two of you bear in mind."

Elladan's head tilted to the side as he considered the thought, "Now that you mention it, the timing of her reemergence at the gatherings is something of a curiosity, I had thought it coincidental. "

"And you are getting caught up in Erestor's conspiracies," Elrohir said sharply, still in quite a mood, "I am sure it is nothing more than timing."

"I will advise you two to be very, very careful in the next few days and nights." Erestor reminded them tartly ignoring the squabble between siblings, "Particularly since your father is under enough duress that any squabbling between you two is likely to result in him being far more heavy-handed with you both than he ordinarily would be."

"Has there been any indication of improvement?" Elladan asked before Elrohir's uncharacteristically sharp tongue could get Erestor's hackles up more than the early morning events already had.

"Not to my knowledge," Erestor shook his head as his eye caught a piece of twig clinging to Elladan's cloak along with a fragment of a leaf. Reaching out he pulled both and examined them, "Have you been in the hawthorn gardens recently?"

"No, not since the last harvest there about two weeks ago and my cloak was washed three days ago." Elladan shook his head, "Why do you ask?"

"Firstly, this is as you know, is not a hawthorn twig nor a briarthorn leaf." Erestor replied tartly, "I believe this is what Amanda picked up that had your recently returning companion so upset, I would like to know why."

"What does this twig have to do with anything?" Elladan asked carefully phrasing his question to be inquisitive rather than defensive.

"I do not know," Erestor admitted, "There is something afoot here that refuses to come into the light. If it will not be drawn to the light then the light shall have to brighten the night."

The bath had not lifted the fog of fatigue from Elrond's mind as much as he had hoped it would. Almost worse was the physical throb of his heart as he went through the motions of redressing. His back was to the opened door leading from the bath back to the bedroom; he left it open in case someone knocked or by some chance Raina called out from the depths of her unconscious state. What malice had struck her down eluded him. She had not called to him, not even in the depths of exhausted slumber where occasionally they met in dreams since before the incident.

Elrond sat down carefully, taking both of her cool hands into one of his watching her face for a few moments through tired eyes. "Raina," he called softly, much as he had often since she had slipped into the oblivion of unconsciousness. Fatigue was catching up with him, as was the worry and his grappling with his own fear of losing her as he wound her fingers into his and laid his head on the pillow near hers. He was so tired that even moving the blankets seemed an effort as his eyes half closed he felt her fingers gripping his as if one clawing their way out of a terrible dream.

_She is stirring! Wake up._ His honed healer's instincts and stubborn will demanded as his body refused to comply with anything past opening his eyes to find that Raina was just barely conscious, looking at him from under heavily lidded eyes.

"Go to sleep," He heard the protective whisper as one of her hands pulled free of his and caressed his cheek, "I'll be here, you need to sleep."

"The baby," Elrond muttered trying to fight back the dark cloud of exhaustion enough to ensure that both of them were recovering at last, "Let me up."

"Go to sleep." there was a thicker pull in her voice as if she were dragging him under with her again, "I won't run off."

"Better not," He muttered, as the pleasant warmth of rest covered his senses and he dropped heavily into sleep, breathing in her scent and keenly aware of the touch of her hand to his cheek.

While Elrond slept in the exhausted state of one who had pushed their body well past the point of being able to even partially function without rest, Raina lay awake listening to the steady hum of his heartbeat alongside her own among a great many other things. A subtle knock on the outer chamber door, loud enough to be heard but not loud enough to be disruptive drew her attention. Unwilling to get up she heard the key slide into the lock, which meant it was one of a very select few of people.

"Elrond?" Erestor's quiet call echoed into the room, even with the pull of his name Elrond did not stir as Erestor stepped forward and called again, "Elrond?"

"In here, Erestor." Raina's voice called softly, so much so that she wasn't certain that even elven hearing was sharp enough to catch her voice.

Stepping forward Erestor stood in the doorway and blinked at the sight before him. Elrond was collapsed on the top of the blankets, soundly asleep from the look of things and Raina lay awake, perhaps not as alert as would assure him she would be well. "Raina?" An entire series of questions was wrapped into the syllables of her name as she smiled faintly.

"Whatever it is, Erestor it will keep, let him sleep."


End file.
